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Do I feel afraid of others' concern, is this a trauma response?

anxiety overreaction social interaction emotional vulnerability friendly gestures
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Do I feel afraid of others' concern, is this a trauma response? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

I feel extremely afraid of others showing concern. If my roommate suddenly asks if I've recovered from the cold, or someone inquires about me while I'm doing something, or a familiar boss offers me a discount on my purchases, I get extremely anxious and may even immediately "escape" from the situation. I vividly remember that physical reaction. But afterward, I often reflect on why I react that way, as others are being friendly, yet I can't face them calmly. As I ponder, I end up crying. I feel emotionally wounded.

Delilah Grace Singleton Delilah Grace Singleton A total of 7769 people have been helped

Perhaps a hug would be a good first step.

It is possible that the feelings and behaviors you describe may be related to a psychological trauma response. It seems that this nervousness and avoidance of other people's attention may be a defense mechanism that stems from a negative past experience or emotional trauma.

There are a number of potential explanations.

1. Social anxiety: You may experience social anxiety, a condition characterized by feelings of nervousness, fear of attention or judgment in social situations. This may be related to negative social experiences or trauma in the individual's past.

2. Insecure attachment style: It is possible that individuals may develop an insecure attachment style in early relationships, which could potentially make it challenging to accept or understand the care of others in real life.

3. Early trauma: It is possible that some early psychological trauma, possibly from childhood experiences, may result in similar reactions in adulthood, which could make people feel nervous and afraid when receiving care.

4. Self-esteem and self-worth issues: For some people, accepting the care of others can sometimes give rise to feelings of doubt about their own value, which can in turn lead to feelings of tension and avoidance.

It may be helpful to seek the guidance of a professional counselor or support system to gain a deeper understanding of these reactions and learn more effective coping strategies.

There are a number of different psychotherapeutic forms that could be helpful in your case, including cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), psychodynamic therapy, or eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR). The specific approach that would work best for you will depend on your individual situation and needs.

We hope the following suggestions will be helpful in dealing with the situation:

1. It might be helpful to seek the support of a professional counselor or psychologist. They can assist you in understanding the underlying causes of these reactions through psychotherapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or other professional methods, and provide strategies to cope with and alleviate these emotions.

2. **Self-acceptance**: It may be helpful to learn to accept your feelings and to recognize that these reactions may have their roots in past experiences and do not necessarily reflect your present or future.

3. **Build a sense of security**: It may be helpful to work on building a secure relationship with others. This process can take time and patience, and it may be beneficial to try to create a trusting environment where you can gradually learn to trust others' care.

4. **Self-care**: It may be helpful to consider ways of taking care of your physical health through exercise, a good diet, and enough rest. These can potentially help reduce stress and improve mood.

5. Mindfulness meditation: You may find it helpful to practice mindfulness meditation and other relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing and yoga, as a way of managing stress and emotions.

6. Journaling: Writing down your feelings and reactions can be a helpful way to gain insight into patterns and to communicate with your therapist.

7. It might be helpful to try gradually facing situations that make you feel uneasy, taking only one small step at a time and allowing yourself time and space to adapt.

It is important to remember that asking for help is a sign of strength. If you feel that you would benefit from the support and guidance of a trusted professional, it is always worth seeking them out.

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Scarlett Knight Scarlett Knight A total of 6624 people have been helped

Greetings,

You have indicated that you experience a particular sense of unease and discomfort when others express concern for you. This leads you to feel confused, is that correct?

Such an experience is simultaneously novel and disquieting.

The reason for the discomfort experienced when confronted with words or actions that are perceived as unusual is that the individual has not previously encountered such a situation. It is possible that the subject has never experienced care from others, and thus, when such care is extended to them, they may perceive it as unusual.

The individual will experience a sense of safety and adaptability to the familiar feeling, regardless of whether it is a positive or negative emotion. However, even in the presence of care and affection, the individual will not adapt because they are unfamiliar with this emotion and will instead seek to escape.

The mind is rationality. It is understood that this aspect is friendly, friendly to the individual, but because this feeling of friendliness has not been experienced at the emotional and physical levels, the individual may experience a sense of strangeness, discomfort, and a desire to escape.

At this juncture, it is recommended that you engage in a brief period of relaxation, during which you should take three deep breaths to achieve a state of calm. Following this, you are encouraged to engage in a process of reflection, whereby you consider instances in which another individual has demonstrated care and compassion towards you, and the associated emotional experience.

If the subject is still unfamiliar with this friendly feeling and is not used to it, the experimenter should prompt the subject to think back to a time when they were hurt and to describe the event in detail.

It is recommended that you recall the event in as much detail as possible, and then recall how you felt during the event, how your body felt, what you thought, and what kind of emotions you felt. Once you have done this, it is advised that you put yourself in that feeling.

Nevertheless, on occasion, this sentiment can prove challenging to navigate. In such instances, it may be beneficial to seek the guidance of a qualified psychological counselor or engage in open dialogue with a trusted individual.

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Clara Perez Clara Perez A total of 4766 people have been helped

Good morning, I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to address your recent query. Kind regards,

I would like to extend a gesture of comfort and support.

I can sense your distress.

It is akin to a stray cat that has been adopted, perpetually questioning whether it truly merits such benevolence. It appears to doubt its own worthiness in the eyes of its benefactor.

Please take a moment to reflect on whether you have had any experiences in your past that have left you without a sense of belonging or worthiness.

Human connections provide a sense of belonging, and the positive actions of others instill a sense of value.

If you were not provided with sufficient care and attention from your mother during your childhood, you may develop the belief that you are undeserving of love and attention.

Additionally, the notion that one is not inherently valuable is often instilled.

When others demonstrate care and support during one's upbringing, there may be concerns about whether one truly merits such treatment.

They are concerned that such a sudden change of heart may not be permanent and therefore prefer to avoid it. This is their own form of protection and a kind of defense mechanism.

If you are concerned that you may become accustomed to this level of kindness and experience distress when it is withdrawn,

We embrace the inner child who is crying.

You are already performing at a high level, and you deserve to be treated accordingly.

It is not your responsibility if others fail to meet your expectations.

You can apply the same standards of treatment to yourself as you would to others.

For instance, if you are unwell, ensure you take care of yourself, monitor your progress, and purchase items you enjoy. This will enable you to feel loved while also fostering a capacity to love others. Love is a mutual process.

You also possess the capacity to love. Others care about you, and you can also care about others. There is no need to concern yourself with your inability to love others.

I encourage you to continue in this vein.

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Mila Grace Hines Mila Grace Hines A total of 6833 people have been helped

It may be the case that you have had some hurtful experiences in the past, perhaps as a result of being treated well by someone and then badly, which has led you to reject others being nice to you. This could mean that you are coming into contact with bad people and things as a result of the negative energy that surrounds you.

One way to improve one's energy field is to avoid or reduce negative emotions through self-growth and change. It is also helpful to learn how to truly love others and adapt to people and events.

To truly love others is to wish and give others happiness, and to mentally accept, forgive, and forgive everyone, including the weak, whether they are outstanding or ordinary people. If there are mistakes or shortcomings, then they can be corrected. Everyone has the right to happiness, regardless of the closeness or distance of relationships, whether they are right or wrong, gains or losses, and so on. We all hope that others can be happy. People can bring mutual comfort and even joy to each other. It is good to love and accept others and oneself, to tolerate shortcomings and deficiencies, and to be kind at heart. In other words, it is beneficial to others or society, not to despise or reject ordinary people, and not to be jealous or intolerant of outstanding people.

If you find it challenging to connect with others, it can lead to feelings of negativity and emotional distress. To cultivate a more loving and fulfilling life, it's essential to embrace the art of loving others, adapt to different people and situations, and align your energy with positive intentions. Sharing your thoughts, feelings, interests, and even books, movies, music, and other forms of expression with others in real life and online, such as through Douban communities, can also be a wonderful way to connect and grow.

It may also be helpful to embrace a more balanced approach to love and contentment, including a willingness to appreciate the simple joys in life.

It is worth noting that negative energy can affect your physical health. To keep your body comfortable and healthy, you might like to consider a full body massage. A head massage includes the forehead and face, which also have meridians. You could try massaging the head with deep and firm hand movements, and pressing the stomach with a firm massage comb. It might be best to avoid pressing the stomach on an empty stomach, and then taking a walk.

It is important to recognize that negative emotions and behaviors can have a detrimental impact on our physical and mental well-being. When we allow ourselves to be consumed by negative thoughts and actions, it can lead to a multitude of challenges, including interpersonal conflicts, emotional and marital disharmony, and even difficulties in academic or career pursuits. The accumulation of negative energy, which often stems from a self-centered approach or pursuit of self-interest, can disrupt our energy field and create a rift between us and those around us. To foster a more harmonious and fulfilling life, it is essential to learn how to truly love and embrace others, adapt to different perspectives and situations, and align our energy field with that of others. By doing so, we can not only resolve conflicts and improve our emotional and interpersonal relationships but also better navigate the aforementioned challenges. Moreover, when we learn to truly love and appreciate the people and things in our lives, we can avoid becoming overly attached to love and experience a sense of inner fulfillment and meaning.

If it is helpful, they can also support those around them to grow and change together.

The way in which excessive self-centeredness manifests itself varies from person to person. It can manifest as a psychological motivation to pursue self-satisfaction, to compete for self-satisfaction, or to suppress self-deprecation and ingratiate oneself. It can also manifest as a tendency to blindly give in order to get, to fear losing, or to pay too much attention to oneself, which can generate stress and worry. Social phobia, being caught up in one's own emotions and thoughts, and attaching too much importance to what others think of oneself are also examples of how excessive self-centeredness can manifest. On the other hand, excessive self-centeredness can manifest as a tendency to demand one's own perfection, being obsessive, controlling, or possessing others. It can also manifest as a tendency to demand that others satisfy oneself, which can lead to feelings of resentment and discontent. Finally, excessive self-centeredness can manifest as a difficulty letting go of oneself to forgive and be forgiving, which can contribute to feelings of brooding.

Those who are overly focused on self-interest may experience a range of challenges, including anxiety, depression, fatigue, and difficulty adapting to social and professional environments. Individuals who genuinely care about others and are able to adapt to different situations tend to have a more balanced perspective, where self-interest is not the primary focus.

In essence, it is important to do your best, with a kind heart, and to avoid causing harm to others, because nobody wants to suffer.

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Comments

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Leslie Miller A person with a vast knowledge of literature and history is a storyteller at heart.

I can totally relate to feeling overwhelmed by simple acts of kindness sometimes. It's like my heart starts racing and I just want to disappear. Later, I always wonder why I panicked when they were only being nice. It's confusing and hurts more than I expect.

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Thea Pembrooke Life is a dance of light and shadow.

When someone unexpectedly shows concern, it triggers this intense anxiety in me. I know they mean well but I end up feeling so flustered that I need to get away. Afterwards, the realization hits me and I feel so bad for reacting that way. It leaves me upset and often in tears.

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Alastair Davis Truth is the foundation of all knowledge and the cement of all societies.

Sometimes a kind question from a roommate or a colleague makes me feel cornered. My body tenses up and I feel an urge to flee the moment. I replay these moments later and I'm left questioning myself, knowing their intentions were good. It's frustrating and deeply emotional.

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Bartholomew Thomas Teachers open the door. You enter by yourself.

It's strange how even a small gesture can make me feel so uneasy. Like when a boss offers a discount, I freeze up and feel the need to escape. I realize afterwards that it's just a nice thing, but the anxiety is too much. The regret and sadness that follow are hard to bear.

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Savannah Yates The process of learning is more important than the outcome.

Every time someone asks if I'm okay, it feels like too much pressure. I get anxious and want to run away. Then I think about it and feel awful because I know they're just trying to be friendly. It's a cycle that ends with me feeling emotionally drained and crying.

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