Do I often feel inexplicably hostile? Even towards strangers.

I don't know why people do these things. Is it because they're too intolerant? People will also embarrass you, as if you're doing something wrong. It's hard to understand and accept.

At the end of the day, we are just doing our own thing. If our actions don't affect others too much, we have freedom. If you feel targeted, who are these people?

Can we cut these people out of our lives? We don't hold a grudge against them, so why do they have to target themselves like this?

It's hard to believe people can be so uncivilized. Other people may also exhibit various negative behaviors.

If you often meet people like this, you might need to change your environment. Maybe you live, work, and study with people like this. Then you should try to move away because you can meet different people in different places.

Some people don't have any civilization. There's no way to change them, so we shouldn't get in touch with them. If we spend a long time with them, they might influence our happiness, behavior, and thoughts. We also have freedom.

Everyone in a relationship is a character with the same element. Everyone has their own role to play, and there is a tug-of-war and competition between each element. It could be that you influence the other person, or the other person influences you, or you influence each other. Then the question is, do you want to keep getting along with these people or waste time?

We don't have much time. We don't need to risk our values and interests.

You can follow your own path. Talk to a counselor about your thoughts. Look for patterns in your relationships. Explore them together. Practice meditation and mindfulness when you have time. Good luck!

ZQ?

Hello, landlord! I'm smiling.

After reading your description, I have a better understanding of the question you want to ask, and I empathize with you.

From what you said, it seems like you're focusing too much on the bad stuff going on around you. It's like you're letting the little things get to you. You don't have a clear view of the situation, so you don't like what you're seeing. But you can't change everything by yourself. You're not in a position to ask these people to change, or you'll just come across as meddling.

The three views and behaviors you mentioned in your description aren't tolerated. It's normal for you to have these thoughts in the moment. The thing is, in many things in this world, the minority obeys the majority. So, when only a small number of people feel that something is not in line with their own three views, it's also difficult to change the minds of most people. Most people are selfish. They may only protect their own interests and rarely consider whether their actions have brought a bad experience to others.

It's also normal to have your own thoughts. People are diverse, after all. So, if there are some things you can't fully accept, you can let them exist without letting them affect you too much. Instead, you should slowly reduce the impact of such things on yourself. The fact that you and most people have different opinions doesn't mean anything. It just means that you and most people pay attention to different things.

There's no right or wrong, just different ways of thinking.

In this regard, I have also put together a few tips to help you deal with the current situation. I hope they'll be useful for you.

(1) Accept the things or people you can accept, and don't judge too harshly the points of these people that you do not accept. Because excessive judgment will tire you out, so just accept what you can accept, and stay away from what you cannot accept, and slowly reduce the impact of these things on you.

(2) Don't overthink things. Sometimes you just think too much and make things more negative than they really are. In most cases, rolling your eyes is just the person's own business, not yours.

(3) You can try lowering your standards for other people's behavior because nobody's perfect. When you're trying to accept their behavior but still can't agree with it or accept it, you can allow such behavior to exist because there's a reason for it.

(4) Try to set clear boundaries and not let yourself be too affected by other people's issues. Remember that your own issues are yours, and their issues are theirs.

(5) You're great! You just don't see eye to eye with most people. So, the differences between you and the majority are just differences in opinion, and they can't be used to say you're a bad person.

The world and I think you're great.

Wishing you the best!

Hello, I'm Strawberry.

From the questioner's own words, it's clear that they feel their values and behaviors differ from those around them. This leads them to believe that what they do is not accepted by others.

The questioner resents some of the behavior of others, which is actually resented by most people. The questioner is not alone. People feel rejected because those they resent cannot accept our corrections.

The source of these emotions is...

The questioner is disgusted by other people's uncivilized behavior and dislike of second-hand smoke. He knows that others' dislike of him is an unfriendly attitude. He is aware that this kind of dislike is unacceptable, yet he still feels uncomfortable and anxious because of other people's unfriendly attitude.

The questioner knows exactly where his emotions come from. When he thinks he is doing the right thing, but others don't accept it, he knows he has not done his best to help those who have made a mistake.

The questioner has always been denied and has never been recognized during the growth process. In the process of accepting cognition, self-doubt will arise due to non-recognition. The questioner knows that their perception is not wrong and is not different from the public's.

And they want to know whether they will be teased if they speak up.

Discover more of your own strengths.

From the description, it is clear that the questioner is a person who loves and values the environment. This promotes environmentally friendly behavior, which is commendable and worthy of emulation.

When someone spits, lets others smoke secondhand smoke, or litters, they know full well what the consequences will be. They indulge in their own behavior, regardless of the feelings of others. They are testing the acceptance of others.

Our society needs more environments like the original poster's that love their lives. These environments should correct those who make mistakes and make them realize the distress they cause others by indulging in their own behavior. You should try to see more of your own good points and not let yourself be consumed by your own perception and others' unfriendly attitudes.

Affirm yourself.

The growth process influences us in ways that make it difficult to affirm some of our behaviors and thoughts. However, we can make improvements through the environment and contact with people. This process is not easy, but I believe that as long as you are willing to face it, the chances of improvement are very good.

1. Expand interpersonal relationships. Affirm your ideas by connecting with people who share your values. This process is like solving a problem. You may not be sure you're right, but if someone else confirms your ideas and solution process, you can move forward with confidence.

2. Learn relevant knowledge. Confront the limitations brought about by the growth process and let yourself be influenced by it. When we can face our own problems, learn relevant knowledge, know what methods to use to solve them, and gain a deeper understanding of ourselves, our situation can be improved.

I highly recommend reading "The Courage to Be Disliked" and "You Are the Answer." When you're not afraid of being disliked, you're free to live your life without questioning your actions or overthinking how others perceive you.

I am confident that my answer will be helpful to the questioner. Best wishes.

Hello, question asker! I'm Jia Ao, and I'm not looking for anything.

I read your post and I get what you're saying. Are you having trouble with people? Have you had any recent setbacks? You say that your values and behavior aren't accepted by others, and you always feel like others are against you:

"When someone spits on the street, it feels like they're spitting in your face. When someone rolls their eyes at you, you feel disgusted by secondhand smoke, but you can't refuse it gracefully. You feel like the world is upside down."

"I feel unappreciated. I only get looks that belittle me, contempt, indifference, perfunctory treatment, rejection, insults, and attacks. Even people who are friendly to me may just be being polite..."

From what you've told me, it seems like you often find yourself in bad situations, feeling like you're the target of some kind of hostility. It seems like you're the one facing injustice, but you're hesitant to speak up because you're worried about how others will react. You also feel like you're not being recognized, and that you're being rejected, criticized, and insulted. Even those who are friendly to you might not mean it. All of this is really distressing for you.

Let's just chat.

[Be determined to be yourself] It seems like things aren't going well for you lately. Have you always felt this way?

Or is it something that happened recently that's got you feeling this way? From what I can tell, your emotions have always been influenced by others. Why do you care so much about what others think and say when you do anything? If you let the words and actions of others sway your emotions, you'll get pretty tired, right?

[Analyze the root problem] If you often feel that everyone around you is hostile towards you, it may be that there is something wrong with your own thoughts and mentality. It's not that the people around you have a problem, but either your own upbringing as a child has made you sensitive and inferior, with a particularly strong desire to protect yourself and wrap yourself up like a hedgehog, or you have recently encountered something that you cannot psychologically handle, and you feel that everyone is looking at you with a strange kind of gaze. These problems are not so much about what is wrong with other people, but about your own skewed mentality.

There's a term in psychology called the "self-projection effect" that might explain what's going on. It's not that lots of people are out to get you. It's more that you're not confident enough, you're sensitive and suspicious, and you think those people are indifferent to you and targeting you at every turn. Everything goes wrong, everything is a mess, and you project your emotions and subjective will onto other people, thinking that's how they view you. But that's a very one-sided view. How could other people keep focusing on you? Are your relationships really that close and familiar?

Do you place too much value on others or do you undervalue yourself?

We all have to deal with difficult people sometimes. They can be unfriendly, and it can be hard to handle. But you can learn to face these challenges with a calm mind. When you do, you'll see how to get along with others in a friendly way and solve these problems with others in a friendly way. You'll also see that everyone isn't unfriendly and that you can't think irrationally. Have confidence in yourself. Believe in your own uniqueness. Don't take on everything yourself. Try to relax. Hmm? Relax a little, take a deep breath. They're not really what you think they are. Believe that everything will be fine. Don't worry too much.

Come on, work hard to make your heart strong!

I hope this helps. Best regards, [Name]