Do you feel your husband is paying less attention to you? Is it worth getting angry over trivial matters?

After spending a long time together, two people will often take many things for granted. This is totally normal! We all do it from time to time. But it's important to remember that your husband is probably feeling a bit neglected. He may not realize that you're just trying to show him you care.

It's not that he doesn't like you, it's just that he gets really annoyed when he's sleeping and you wake him up. It's the same with lots of people, isn't it? They get really cross when they're sleeping and then they get up and they're grumpy. So the best time to wake someone up is actually before they fall back on the sofa.

It's totally normal for your husband to become more and more indifferent to himself. We all go through phases like this! You hope that the other person cares about you, and this is reflected in the fact that "he can listen to what you say and do what you say." If he doesn't do it because of a trivial matter, it's natural to feel that you are not loved and respected.

Even the smallest things can cause problems if you don't talk about them. It's so important to understand each other's feelings and perceptions. For example, if he likes to lie on the sofa, it's totally fine to let him sleep there a few times and give him a blanket.

At the same time, you can also give him some advice. You could say that you hope your partner can sleep with you and lie down together to do something meaningful. It might also be a good idea to tell him what your fundamental needs are. Perhaps you long for his physical contact and don't want to sleep alone.

It's so important to take the initiative to say what you want, too. If he gets impatient and angry as a result, don't worry! You can always come back in an hour and ask if you can talk. The two of you need to communicate in order to make the relationship more stable. The other person's behavior may not have been formed in just one or two days. There might be other unspoken needs inside him that you both can talk about and choose a good time to enhance your relationship, clearly express each other's needs and respect each other. Good luck!

ZQ?

Hello, I understand.

Your problem is confusing to many people. You want your husband to act according to your wishes.

But your husband doesn't want to.

First, you should know your own boundaries and your husband's.

You and your husband are two different people. You have your own lives and your own space.

Do your own things and make your own decisions. If you interfere with each other's affairs, it will lead to discord.

Respect each other in your relationship. You're worried about him and think sleeping on the sofa will make his back ache, but if he doesn't feel any backache, why worry?

Respect means respecting each other's decisions and wishes. If you're happy sleeping on the sofa, would you be willing to do so if your husband wanted you to sleep in bed?

You can also talk to your husband.

Your husband sleeping on the sofa makes you uncomfortable. You want him to listen to you. He feels like he's ignoring you by not sleeping in the bed.

Use non-violent communication to express yourself to your husband.

It's about expressing your needs and emotions. For example, tell him how his sleeping on the sofa makes you feel and what you'd like him to do.

Good communication helps relationships.

You can also learn to talk to your husband using "nonviolent communication."

I hope all goes well for you and your family is happy and content.

I love you.

It's so important to remember not to impose your own thoughts on others!

If your husband likes to sleep on the sofa, then let him! Don't let those excuses about the sofa being small and uncomfortable get in the way. After all, how much more comfortable is it to sleep after a bath?

You think the sofa is uncomfortable, but your husband likes it. Didn't you learn the story of the little goat and the puppy when you were little? The puppy gave the little goat its most precious food, a bone, but the little goat didn't want to eat the bone. What is a treasure in your eyes may be rubbish in someone else's – but that just means there's something even more amazing out there for you to discover!

That's why it's so important to love someone for who they are, not who you want them to be. Let them become the amazing person they were born to be!

Your husband is like a tree, and you are like water. A tree cannot grow without the nourishment of water. The more you praise and love him, the more luxuriant he will grow!

Be a wise woman!

And the best part is, you can get totally different results by doing the same thing in a different way!

Absolutely! If you want your husband to sleep in the bed with you, you can definitely use your charm. It is in a woman's nature to be coquettish, so go for it!

You can say, "Honey, I don't feel safe when you're not next to me. I can't sleep well. I need your company. I can't live without you." And then, just watch how your husband reacts! He'll definitely follow you obediently.

When a couple gets along, anything is possible! Home is a place where emotions rule over reason. With a little more tolerance and a little more love, life is full of sunshine!

Wishing you the very best!

Dear questioner,

I'm Yi Ming, a heart exploration coach.

I get it, so I'm here for you!

I get it. You're unhappy. You obviously care about your husband and want him to take a shower and go to bed, but he feels fine just the way he is.

I'm happy to have a quick chat with you.

2. Find a way to comfort yourself while respecting your husband.

1. Take care of yourself while respecting your husband.

It's normal in a marriage for two independent people to have different ideas and conflicts.

How should we handle these kinds of disagreements?

Of course, we get angry, but that doesn't seem like the best solution.

It's often helpful to take a step back and identify your own thoughts and feelings before engaging with others.

Take a moment to understand why you're feeling this way.

Do you think your husband should do things your way?

Because it's what's best for him!

At the same time, we need to be aware that what we consider to be good may not align with our husbands' opinions.

We all have different approaches to things.

We need to respect this difference and accept that we can't always get our husbands to do things our way.

2. Use "wish" instead of "should."

When we really want our husband to do something and he doesn't cooperate, we try not to get so angry and we stop arguing with him.

Psychologists often talk about "issue separation."

How to handle an uncooperative husband is up to us, but if he lies on the sofa and falls asleep after dinner, that's on him.

We can learn to let our husbands work through their issues on their own.

Instead of expressing our concerns, we let our husband do what he wants.

This will help us feel much more at ease.

We experiment with replacing the idea of "should" in our minds with the idea of "wish."

We try to see what happens when we replace the idea of "should" with the idea of "wish."

For instance, we often think that our husbands "should" do what we say, which is for their own good. At this moment, I'd like my husband to take a shower and go back to bed and sleep well.

The main difference between thinking and wishing is whether we can accept that reality doesn't always match our expectations.

At the same time, we let him off the hook for doing what we expect.

3. Be more flexible.

3. Be more flexible.

For instance, if you're worried that he might wake you up when he comes back to the room after waking up, you could agree with him that he shouldn't go back to sleep there when you're asleep.

You could put a quilt on the sofa to keep him warm.

Or if he gets back pain from sleeping on the sofa, he'll take care of it next time.

It's more important to focus on what the other person is receiving in a communication than on what we're sending.

Dear, we also have to learn as we go in marriage.

Even if you love someone, you've got to respect their differences.

It's important to express your wishes and concerns while allowing him to be himself freely.

This could be a good way to build a relationship where you both feel supported and nourished.

Please feel free to share these.

Wishing you the best!

Give the questioner a hug and try to understand her feelings. She doesn't want to sleep in the big bed, so she has to sleep on the sofa. You and your husband sleep in separate beds. What does he want?

Let's start by looking at what made the questioner angry.

"I'm thinking about the sofa (which isn't very big), it's not comfortable to sleep on for too long, and I'm afraid I'll catch a cold."

"I won't be able to get a good night's sleep in my room because of this."

"I feel like he doesn't respect me or care about my feelings."

The first thing to consider is the questioner's worry about her husband.

The second level is about my own needs. I can sleep soundly with my husband by my side.

The third level is about having mutual respect and understanding.

The questioner is actually pretty clear about her feelings and can tell her husband these feelings gently and calmly.

"First, I'm worried that you won't sleep comfortably on the sofa. Second, we're a couple, and I need you by my side, otherwise I won't sleep well."

"Most importantly, I feel like you don't care about my feelings. I want you to stay with me. Why don't you want to?"

Because relationships are so intimate, couples often become more and more inconsiderate of each other's needs and express themselves in ways that argue.

Arguing is more direct and simpler, but it can also be hurtful and damage the relationship.

Men and women have different needs, and it's only natural that there will be conflicts between them. Men often need to be the breadwinner, while women often need emotional support.

The guy thinks I should be ashamed of sleeping on the sofa, so I get angry.

A woman feels that she needs you by her side and that she needs your care. When you don't come, she gets angry.

The key is to communicate my needs and expectations.

I love you, so I want you to sleep with me.

Because I care about you, I sleep on the sofa because I'm afraid that my snoring will disturb your sleep.

My husband gave me some great advice. He said he snores loudly and is afraid of disturbing his wife, so he doesn't go back to sleep in his room.

The reason is love, so why not express their needs properly?

The questioner could also try expressing their needs in a calm and gentle way on a day when they and their partner are in a good mood.

At the same time, listen carefully to your husband's reasons. He might have other reasons, but one thing is for sure: he definitely loves you.

The original poster's anger is rooted in a fear that her husband doesn't love her anymore.

If we communicate our needs and expectations while also showing our love, we can find a balanced approach between husband and wife.

The key is to base everything on love, mutual understanding, and acceptance.

I hope things work out for the original poster. I think if they keep talking and understanding each other, they'll be able to sleep better tonight.