Do you look at your phone to deal with emotional problems, feel rejected and criticized, and sometimes blame yourself?

Hello!

It seems that you are very troubled by the inconsistent comments of your colleagues and leaders, which is totally understandable!

I also read that the questioner said that their self-esteem level fluctuates, which is great because it means they're open to change!

So let's dive in and talk about building a system of self-worth evaluation, experiencing and expressing personal feelings, and overcoming work obstacles!

This can happen when you judge yourself according to their evaluation system. But don't worry! There's a way to avoid this.

When you do something, you have expectations in your heart, expecting to be praised. But in the end, your hopes are dashed, and you are even rejected and fined. The huge gap can make you feel suffocated and irritated inside.

You're also trying to help yourself with some great mental suggestions! For example, you're looking at the big picture and seeing this moment as a compromise with reality. That's a great start! You're still a little unhappy and uneasy inside, but you're working on it.

You seem to be repressing your feelings, which is totally normal! But it can lead to some pretty uncomfortable feelings like self-denial, dislike, and aggression. So let's talk about how to face your feelings and feel better!

As a listener, you can feel uncomfortable when you repress your feelings. But you can also feel uncomfortable when you don't face your feelings. And you can choose to do something about it!

I'm so excited to help you take better care of your feelings!

Promotional work is a great way to boost sales! You can study the products and then look at the age and needs of customers who come to browse.

Sell products to customers in need and watch your business soar! Create different value for both the products and the customers and watch your profits grow!

It's time to say goodbye to the "need for praise" from colleagues and bosses!

Ready to take your career to the next level? Be hardworking and gain some marketing experience. That way, when you move to other positions, you can learn from your experiences and keep growing!

Absolutely! Getting praise from customers is often even more meaningful. Of course, this doesn't mean that the ultimate goal is customer praise. It's about finding a great way to achieve a harmonious and win-win situation with customers!

And in the process, you'll discover amazing changes in yourself!

Think long-term! Don't just put up with everything for the moment. Take a step back and open up a whole new world. It's about thinking outside the box and finding a brand new way of looking at things!

Hello, host! I really hope my answer can be helpful to you.

After reading your description, I can tell you're a perceptive person who notices and observes things. You also have some knowledge of psychology, which is great! However, after encountering some difficulties today, you've experienced a series of negative emotions and events. You might think it's a coincidence, but no matter what happens in life, whether it's good or bad, we can help ourselves understand and grow through positive reflection.

By talking about these few things today, we can see our thinking patterns and the parts that can be adjusted—and we can make some exciting changes!

Without the little lady's affirmation, I began to have some negative thoughts about myself. I even thought that all my previous efforts and hard work had been in vain!

Have you heard of the amazing concept of a growth mindset? It's all about embracing change and seeing the world as a place of constant development and growth. With a growth mindset, we realize that we're not stuck in a moment, but rather evolving and adapting. The world around us is also constantly changing and developing. On the other hand, a fixed mindset can lead to rigidity, attachment to certain ideas, and a lack of belief in our ability to change and in the potential for growth in others. But with a growth mindset, we can approach ourselves, the world, and others with curiosity and openness. We can recognize that we're not defined by a single experience or opinion, and that others are also constantly evolving and changing.

Absolutely!

For example, if you think that the young lady has always been quite respectful, that you have gotten along with her before, that you think she is relatively outstanding, and that you have done more things by following her example, but this morning you thought you would be praised and thanked, it doesn't mean that your efforts and thoughts have been in vain, let alone that you are not worthy. Perhaps, just like you, she is also in a bad mood today and has encountered some troubles that she cannot resolve? But that just means there's room for improvement!

Just as the manager didn't think you were adjusting your emotions when he saw you playing with your phone, right?

So, don't worry! The young lady's negative attitude towards you today does not mean that she will always be like this towards you. In fact, you can also tell her your true feelings and needs, tell her that you appreciate her and care about the affirmation and respect she gives you, and hope that she can give you more encouragement and guidance in the future. I believe that she will be very happy after she knows, because she can feel the importance you attach to her and that she is very valuable to you.

In the workplace, rules are the foundation, values are the core, and communication is a necessity—and it's a great thing that we have them all!

Yesterday, in our psychology study group's group chat room, we had an amazing discussion about dealing with workplace relationships. Many teachers believe that in the workplace, the company and the unit are a system, and we all must cooperate with each other, do our jobs, and take responsibility for our work. Then obeying the company's rules is the foundation. I wonder if the company has a rule against playing with your phone during work hours. If there is such a rule, then when the manager sees it, from his point of view, he will think that you are not obeying the company's rules and not working hard. He will feel that he is justified in punishing you, and there is nothing we can say, right?

This is a great reminder that when we're at work, even if we want to adjust our emotions, we should do so in a way that's in line with company rules. There are so many ways to adjust our emotions besides playing with our phones! One simple yet effective method is breathing relaxation training. It's easy to do, you can practice it anytime, anywhere, and it can help you enter a calmer state in no time!

Absolutely! We can change our breathing to calm our emotions. We just need to learn to breathe using our abdomen.

There are two types of breathing: thoracic breathing and abdominal breathing. Thoracic breathing involves breathing through the chest, which is fast, shallow, and very rapid.

Abdominal breathing is a fantastic way to relax your body! It involves breathing in through the abdomen, which is a more full and prolonged breath that allows your body to relax more.

When we're in the mood, we often unconsciously adopt chest breathing. But here's the good news: we can change the breathing method and use abdominal breathing to effectively relax the body and relieve emotions!

Ready to learn how?

Now for the fun part!

Ready to get started? First, place one hand on your abdomen so you can feel the amazing rise and fall of this incredible muscle. Then, take a slow, deep breath, filling your lungs with as much air as you can and feeling your abdomen expand to its fullest.

Here's a great way to slow down your breathing! Simply count to five in your mind while inhaling slowly and deeply. Then, as you push your abdomen out as far as possible, hold your breath and count to five again.

Finally, we let out a slow, steady breath, counting to five as we relax our bodies. As we exhale, we feel our muscles unwind.

And that's it! You've completed one full set of abdominal breathing exercises. Go you! You can do ten sets per exercise, with just a few seconds to rest between each set. During the exercise, focus on keeping your breathing steady and even. You've got this!

And that's a wrap on the abdominal breathing exercises! You can do ten sets per exercise, with just a few seconds to rest between each set. During the exercise, focus on keeping your breathing steady and even.

It's a great idea to practice abdominal breathing twice a day for 3 to 5 minutes each time, for at least two weeks, so that it becomes a habit. These exercises are really effective at reducing the physiological response caused by negative emotions, relaxing the body, and relieving anxiety.

It's a great idea to practice abdominal breathing twice a day for 3 to 5 minutes each time, for at least two weeks, so that abdominal breathing becomes a habit. These exercises are really effective at reducing the physiological response caused by negative emotions, relaxing the body, and relieving anxiety.

I truly believe that if you adjust your emotions in this way, you'll never upset your manager! And there's another great way to adjust your emotions: carry a pen and paper with you and write down your feelings and thoughts when you're unhappy. This is also a great way to stay in line with company rules. So many benefits!

In addition, as you mentioned last night, the company needs us in the workplace because we can bring them the value they need! The boss will put the right person in the right position. If you don't meet the standards of that position, the boss won't put you in that position. But if you can bring corresponding value to the company through your own efforts, the company will make adjustments! So, if we want to be affirmed and appreciated at work, we just need to keep improving our work skills and enhancing our abilities in all aspects so that we can speak with authority!

So, what kind of work value can we achieve? It's a core part of our careers!

Communication is a vital part of the workplace and an absolute must! For instance, if you're misunderstood by your manager and you don't communicate, they might think you're not working seriously. But you know what? They'd be wrong! You're actually trying to adjust your emotions before working better. It's essential to communicate a little, express your true thoughts and feelings, and show your determination.

You can say to your manager, "Manager, today I'm actually in a bad mood. I wanted to use my phone for a while to adjust my mood and work better. When you came, you saw me looking at my phone. I admit, it was wrong of me to use my phone during work hours. I accept the fine. Please believe me, in the future, I will definitely abide by the company's rules and not use my phone during work hours. I will also do my best to work and help the company develop better and realize my own value." Then, you can follow up with something like this: "I'm really excited to show you how much I value this company and how much I want to contribute to its success. I'm ready to work hard and do whatever it takes to help the company grow and develop. I'm sorry for letting you down today, but I'm committed to making sure it doesn't happen again. I'm going to work on my communication skills and make sure I'm always on the same page with you and the team. I'm ready to get back on track and show you what I'm capable of."

I highly recommend reading these two books on communication when you have a chance: "The Art of Communication" and "Nonviolent Communication." They're fantastic!

I'm so excited to share this with you! It's just a reference, but I think you'll find it really helpful. Wishing you all the best!

It's great to see a homeowner who's very demanding of himself hugging you. It just goes to show that this is your personality.

"You're a bit of a perfectionist, and you have pretty high self-esteem."

From what you've told me, it seems like you're in a bad mood, mainly because of a series of rejections.

"Maybe they're just used to being rejected."

"As a result, I thought I'd be praised and thanked this morning, but I didn't expect my efforts to go unrewarded. It wasn't worth it."

"The manager came by and saw me on my phone and gave me a $100 fine."

The host's recognition of himself comes from others. You need others to affirm you and praise you, and then you'll be motivated to do things.

The more we care about what other people think, the more we're affected by gains and losses.

For instance, think about your favorite celebrity. Do they have the love of everyone?

No, there are always some fans and some haters. The same goes for the most powerful people, not to mention ordinary people like us.

So, what the original poster really needs is to recognize himself more and build up his self-confidence. When you have the courage to be disliked, you'll meet the strong self within.

I'd highly recommend this book by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumihiko Koga. Japanese books are usually pretty easy to read and get to the heart of the matter.

First of all, the host needs to let go of the idea that they have to be perfect and relax the rules a bit for themselves.

I deserve praise from everyone.

At work, I should be recognized for a good performance.

and get constant affirmation from others.

Let's switch out those "should" thoughts for "can."

I can get praise from everyone.

As long as I do my job well, I can get recognition at work.

and get constant affirmation from others.

Does reading it aloud make a difference for you?

Why do we need to be affirmed for our good work?

Why is it that others can only affirm us when we get along with others?

When you ask yourself this, you'll find that

Everyone is busy, and no one is always going to care about you. Even if you work hard, your boss might not notice.

Similarly, when we get along with others, there will always be ups and downs. Even the best of friends have to deal with disagreements.

A true friend is someone who knows your weaknesses but is still willing to tolerate you.

I think we can all agree that long-lasting friends don't just like your good points; they also accept your weaknesses.

We're all imperfect, but we're also complete, with both good and bad traits.

So, accepting yourself for who you are will help you to understand more about what makes you, you.

Second, you need to be the main character in your own story. Don't expect others to treat you as the main character.

You've got to remember that there's only one person in the world who cares about you the most, and that's yourself.

If you're trying to please others and gain their approval, you'll end up losing yourself.

Because everyone has a different idea of what's "good," trying to satisfy everyone's expectations would be exhausting.

So, instead of worrying about what other people think, it's better to focus on yourself:

What are the things I do that make me feel really happy?

What do I do that makes me lose track of time?

What do I do that I'm happy to invest my time and energy in, even if it doesn't come with a paycheck?

Find what you love and what you're good at, and you can live your best, most unique self.

There's nobody else outside the window, just you.

As you become more aware of your needs and strengths, you'll spend more and more time developing your skills, researching, and working hard.

As your goals become clearer, you'll find you have less time to think about what other people are doing. You'll have more energy for other things.

And finally, have the ability to recognize beauty and excellence in yourself.

We always want to do something to change how other people see us.

The thing is, things often don't go the way we want them to.

Why not make a change for yourself? It's often the best solution.

Every day, take photos or write in a journal about the good things, people, or beautiful scenery you see. This helps you recognize the beauty around you.

Also, every day, write down something nice about yourself:

I'm great because I have a healthy body.

I'm great because I'm reliable and I never let up at work.

I'm great because I…

.

.

The more you affirm yourself, the more powerful you'll become.

A good person will create the world they want because they believe in it.

Most people choose to believe because they see it.

You should also believe in yourself because you have great potential. You've done something amazing.

"If I were dealing with this as a friend, I'd say it's okay, it'll get better, I'll take a longer view, and I'm proud of how I've handled this so far."

You've already demonstrated your ability to view challenges from a different perspective, which is a great asset. I have high hopes for your future!

At the end of the day, just be yourself and think about your future. What kind of person do you want to be in three years, five years? So, what changes and efforts do you need to make from now on?

Dear, you're your own best resource. Get back to basics, keep developing your skills, and you'll find a better, more balanced version of yourself!

~

Hello, I'm Xin Tan, Coach Fly Free, and I'm so excited to chat with you about your emotions!

Let me give you a warm hug first! From your writing, I can see that you are an amazing person who is great at self-reflection, self-awareness, and self-motivation!

1. You are aware of your emotions, and you're proud of that!

Oh my goodness, there was this one time when I was at the store with a friend and we had a bit of a communication hiccup with the young lady working there. It was pretty frustrating, and the manager even gave me a little talking to for looking at my phone!

You see your emotions and the unmet needs behind them. You long to be "seen," "affirmed," and "accepted." And you will be!

Absolutely! Everyone has these needs. Just like when we were little, we looked forward to our parents' affirmation, praise, and recognition when we did something. This is a confirmation of self-worth!

This is your "self-awareness" at work! Behind every emotion is an unmet need. When emotions come, don't resist or suppress them. Just welcome them as if they were an old friend you haven't seen for a long time, because they are giving you a special gift in a special way.

You may feel powerless when you're struggling with your grievances and helplessness. But you are accepted and you are good enough! Your self-worth comes from the way you were raised by your parents as a child. You can choose to embrace the positive parenting techniques you experienced, like affirmation, praise, and recognition.

Self-worth is a subjective evaluation of oneself. And you can enhance a sense of worth to boost self-confidence! If you are certain of your own value, you will not care about negative comments from others because self-confidence is having full confidence in oneself, without the need to "prove it in everything" or the support of others.

If we rely on external support, once it is removed, we have the opportunity to rise up and conquer our own doubts and fears.

The best way to start is with the simplest method: constantly giving yourself positive feedback, affirmations, praise, and acceptance. Be your own significant other and provide yourself with the mental nutrition you need for physical and mental health! Things like a sense of security and self-worth are essential.

And guess what? You also see the other person's patterns!

Absolutely! Everyone has their own unique patterns, and they bring these patterns into all kinds of relationships. Just as you understand the young lady in the store very well, she is habitually negative, but respectful.

"Habitual denial" is not directed at you. It is just her "pattern." It is like a rebellious two-year-old who will say "no" to everything his parents say.

So, you can see the other person's patterns, and you can also see your own patterns from the time you spend together (you are good at summarizing and thinking about problems, and discovering the essence of the problem; you are positive, sunny, and optimistic; you will look for the cause in yourself, and you will not complain or accuse blindly). These are all very good qualities, and I applaud you once again!

"Learning from others can help you improve yourself." There's nothing more wise than learning and growing from everyone around us and from our own experiences!

I've got a great way for you to make yourself happy! All you have to do is record three good things that happen to you every day. It could be something as simple as the sun shining after a rainy day, a delicious meal, or even an ice cream!

If you stick with it for 21 days, you'll be amazed at what you can achieve! I'll be there for you every step of the way.

I really hope the above is helpful to you! And I just want to say that the world and I love you! ??

If you want to keep the conversation going, just click "Find a coach" in the top right corner or at the bottom. I'd love to chat with you one-on-one about growth!

Hello!

Looking at the chain of events that happened today, I couldn't help but think of the domino effect.

When something like this happens, we often think that if we hadn't done that in the first place, things wouldn't have turned out this way.

And after everything that happened, it seemed like things were really looking pretty serious.

I just want to check in and see if it's really that serious.

It's true that a series of small things and emotions can sometimes feel overwhelming, but if we take a moment to look at them individually, they're not as serious as they seem.

Let's work through this together and see if we can help you get out of that emotional whirlpool, okay?

Because of the little hiccup between friends, it took a little while to seek help from a friend's mind. I was just getting ready to tell the lovely young lady that I was sorry for taking a little while. I was a little busy at the time and didn't get a chance to say it, so I was just a little bit annoyed.

Oh, you know what it is! That little matter with a friend is what sets off a whole series of events.

If you're having trouble letting go, it might be hard to focus on your work.

So, you went to ask for help, and your intentions were good, my friend.

You asked for help, which took a little longer than usual, but it probably didn't have a big impact on the work. You just felt a little bad about it, and were afraid that the girl in the shop would say something to you, so you wanted to explain it to her. However, when you got busy, you didn't have time, and your worries remained, so you got a little annoyed, right?

I know you spent some time dealing with personal matters, with the aim of working better. I'm sure you're wondering if you're at fault.

If you don't beat yourself up, you'll feel less upset, I'm sure.

The young lady in the back of the store was talking about me again, but it was actually nothing. Maybe she just has a habit of being negative. I used to think she was quite respectful, and I got along with her before, so I felt that I was better than her and said I would learn from her. As a result, this morning I thought I would be praised and thanked, but I didn't expect my efforts and thoughts to be wasted. I felt it wasn't worth it, but that's okay!

Oh, absolutely! The young lady spoke about you.

I totally get why you're feeling disappointed. I remember you had a good impression of her before, but because you were troubled and your work in the morning wasn't praised, you were a little disappointed.

You did a great job this morning, and I know you're disappointed you didn't get any praise. But I just wanted to let you know that your contribution was still noticed and appreciated.

Don't pay any mind to Little Miss. She's in the habit of negating people, so you can just ignore it.

It can be tough to face rejection, but don't let her rejection affect you.

It's probably just a bunch of annoying things. It's hot, so I've been feeling a little irritable, and I feel inside that I shouldn't be like this. I know I should work hard, because I've always done a pretty good job. As a result, today I was standing in the doorway shouting at the top of my voice, when I should have been regulating my emotions by looking at my phone and not wanting to move because I was in a bad mood. My job is sales promotion, and I don't want to shout either.

When we're feeling down, it's so important to take a moment to calm down and then tackle the problem head-on.

If we let our emotions get in the way, we might end up stuck in a loop of unresolved problems.

I totally get it. When you feel annoyed, you don't have the motivation or passion to sing, right?

I totally get why you want to adjust by checking your phone.

I know it can be tough to keep up with our emotions, and it's not always easy to work hard all the time.

Give yourself a break, my friend. Your mood will thank you for it!

So, the manager came by and saw me on my phone, so he gave me a 100-dollar fine. I'm totally okay with that, but I feel like I'm doing a great job, and I should still be rewarded or praised. He praised me before, and another leader praised me yesterday, so I'm a little bummed.

I'm sure you did a great job overall!

You did such a great job and were praised for it! It seems a bit unfair that you were punished for a moment of bad mood by being made to look at your phone.

It's okay if you feel like you're not being accepted for who you are and feel a bit lost.

If you're feeling down, it's okay! We all have ups and downs. At this time, if you admit your mistake, apologize, and explain to your leader that you want to adjust your mood because you have encountered something upsetting, so that you can have the energy to sing, they will understand that you did not mean to be lazy. Don't worry, the misunderstanding may be clarified.

Then at work, I made two more minor mistakes. I was a little hard on myself, and my mood was never very good. I felt like I hadn't performed well because I was in a bad mood. I wondered how my friends would handle the situation. I felt that I would be fine, that things would get better, that I would be able to look at the bigger picture, and that I would be able to solve the problems that were troubling me. I didn't get along with the young lady in the shop as well as usual, and I didn't handle the problems with my friends very well because I was in a bad mood.

As we said earlier, if you go to work with your emotions in tow, you'll find yourself facing a lot of challenges.

It's so easy to get caught up in self-blame, isn't it? It can really affect your confidence in being able to get things done.

If I'm not happy, how can I get along happily with my little sister, right?

So, to solve emotional problems, I tell my troubles to a younger woman to see if she can understand and comfort me.

But hey, it's okay! We all have those days where one or two things don't go as planned, and that's totally fine. I know I've had days like that, too! It's okay if things aren't perfect. I'll be honest, though. My mood is still not very good. Thinking about things that make me happy, I feel like it's all effort and I don't want to do it.

I'm a bit of a perfectionist, and my self-esteem is sometimes very high, sometimes very low. It's okay, though!

Oh, it's okay! We all have those days where we just can't seem to get things done right.

You are also an emotional person, and there's no way to know what tomorrow will bring, right?

When you're feeling down, it's okay to accept your emotions. You can spend some time alone with yourself to let your emotions ease on their own, or you can talk to a friend for a while to let off some steam.

Once you've shared your feelings with someone, you'll feel better.

You are a perfectionist, and these imperfections have happened. It's totally okay! This is a great time to start letting go of perfectionism.

It's okay to accept your own mistakes and imperfections. You'll be happier if you do.

I really hope this text is like a small river for you. I hope it opens up and lets your worries and disappointments flow along it and drift away.

Hi, I'm Yan Guilai, a psychological counselor. I'm here for you and I wish you well!

Dear, You need to know that...

If you get it right, you'll be rewarded. If you get it wrong, you'll face criticism. The rule of black and white is correct, but it's a rule we learned when we were young. In the adult world, black and white give way to gray. Many things don't have an immediate result. They build up, suppress, and ferment, and the so-called result only comes slowly.

Justice may be late, but it will never fail to come. This saying reflects reality and is worth your consideration.

The host's main job is sales promotion. You identify with or like it, so you actively help others at work and expect a return or recognition. When you don't get it, you're caught by surprise by a spot check and criticized. Your inner resentment is imaginable. When you do a good job, you get no recognition. When you do something slightly different, you get attention.

There are three key points to consider. First, distinguish between your own way of doing things. Second, consider how you get along with others. Third, return to yourself.

We must find and stick to our own way of doing things. This is the only way to have a certain rule when encountering problems.

In the workplace, abiding by work discipline is non-negotiable. When you violate it, you will be criticized. Good and bad cannot be offset. Just look at the news. A high-ranking official loved the people like his own children his whole life and pleaded for the people. But in the end, he was unable to restrain the people around him and was imprisoned for bribery.

He has rectified himself, but he is not a righteous person. This is also the case with the diversity within us: good and bad, good and evil coexist.

We can only be sure of ourselves, not others. It's time to face facts: changing oneself is far more realistic than expecting others to change.

Let's be real. Parents, children, husbands and wives, even if they are related by blood, are not going to change according to our wishes. And the same goes for the people we work with. When you help him, he doesn't reciprocate or agree. It's his business. You feel uncomfortable because you care too much or have expectations.

If you don't see your efforts as a trade-off, you won't have any expectations or disappointments. You give roses to people because they leave a pleasant fragrance in your hands, and you give beauty to others.

Clarify your relationship with others and your surroundings. You will no longer be bothered by other people's reactions. Instead, focus on your true self. Imagine if you focus on improving your sales techniques, boosting your performance, and achieving monetization. The counter staff may pay more attention to you. After all, they have a stake in the outcome. Rest assured or use your free time to open a TikTok account. You will increase your experience while gaining popularity. If a random inspection comes at this time, they will definitely spare no effort to praise you.

Empathy doesn't solve every problem, but it will help you feel more at ease in life.

It is human nature to desire recognition and rewards. When faced with criticism from a manager, the natural response is to reflect on one's own performance.

This is a typical way of thinking for ordinary people in similar circumstances.

We all experience both positive and negative emotions, but it is important to remember that mistakes are an inevitable part of the learning process. As you yourself acknowledged, you received praise from your leader for your excellent work, which indicates that your performance was satisfactory.

The issue originated from emotional challenges within our team, which led to a phone consultation that caused some distraction. This was then identified by the leader and met with criticism.

If the leader is unaware of the issue, it will persist and affect the employee's mood and performance throughout the day. Conversely, if the leader is informed, it can help resolve the problem and improve the employee's mood and productivity.

There are advantages and disadvantages to this approach, but we are willing to acknowledge our shortcomings and adjust our attitude. After work

Take the opportunity to enjoy a meal, appreciate the evening breeze, and take in the night view. A bad mood will quickly dissipate.

It is not necessary for us to be concerned with the opinions of others. It is important to understand that our work has been completed to the best of our abilities, and that there are no issues that require attention. We have performed our duties in a satisfactory manner, and we are confident in the quality of our work.

The opinions of others are not a concern. Additionally, the individual in question is not a direct supervisor and therefore has no authority over the employee's compensation or performance.

She is simply a transient figure in your life.

It is important to maintain a positive outlook, perform your duties, appreciate the surroundings, and refrain from concerning yourself with the opinions of others. Instead, concentrate on your own responsibilities and contributions.

Ultimately, life is not merely about the constant influx of people, but also about the serene evening breeze and the breathtaking sunset.

The message is full of depression, irritability, and helplessness. These emotions are affecting your work and your perception of yourself. I am going to share some tips to help you get out of this emotional quagmire.

Emotions are a form of communication.

This morning was fine.

The questioner's emotional state in the morning was relatively calm. However, because it took some time to seek psychological help for the friend's matter, the young lady in the store had a few words for you.

The hot weather made her mood irritable, and when she tried to use her phone to relieve her emotions, her manager saw her and not only fined her, but also worried that it would affect her evaluation. Apart from two minor mistakes at work, her emotions began to decline.

This chain reaction causes emotions to worsen with each step.

These emotionally entangled events prove that the questioner's sole concern is the impact of interpersonal interactions on you.

When we encounter negative emotions, we often try to control or eliminate them. For example, in the comments, the questioner sought help on Yi Xinli and looked at his phone to adjust his mood.

These behaviors not only fail to release the emotions in an environment that depends on interaction with others, but they also increase the number of incidents. In these incidents, the poster's emotions intensify, not subside.

It is therefore clear that looking back at the starting point of the emotion provides us with another layer of inspiration.

When emotions express themselves to us, we must listen to them. We cannot eliminate them. The voice they want to express and convey will help us care about our hearts the next time we feel depressed when something happens. We cannot ignore our surroundings in our hasty actions. This will become the trigger for a vicious cycle.

Second, you must return your focus to interpersonal interactions.

You care more about the change in impression of the young lady and whether the manager praised you than you care about your own deduction. You try to comfort yourself in every way, but your emotions still cannot be calmed.

Let's be clear: the concern for interpersonal interactions itself is just unilateral self-persuasion.

It's okay. You're only human. You won't always handle it well. That's okay.

I am less convincing and prone to the problem mentioned in the original post.

I still don't feel very good. I'm not going to waste my time thinking about things that will make me happy.

Therefore, to calm down, you must return to interpersonal interactions and identify which needs are met and which are ignored.

For example,

The young lady in the shop is not happy.

It is evident that there is a significant discrepancy between the present and the past with regard to our ability to get along with the little girl. This is largely due to the fact that our expectations have not been met.

This also applies to leaders.

The questioner thinks of himself as:

I am a perfectionist. My self-esteem is sometimes high and sometimes low.

The questioner's keen awareness of himself makes it clear that his self-esteem depends on how others perceive him. If he is simply seeking comfort, no evaluation from others can make him feel at ease.

If you rely too much on the opinions of others, your mood will inevitably be unstable. It is impossible to maintain stable self-esteem and happiness when you let others control your mood. This part requires a more comprehensive and professional system to assist you in addressing the issue effectively.

The questioner needs to seek evidence or communicate, not just convince themselves, to calm down.

I am confident that the above sharing will inspire you.

I am a psychologist who does not explore human nature. My focus is on the human heart. I wish you well.

Hello, I'm Flower!

Things with friends, relationships with colleagues, work-related matters... It seems that when these things are singled out, some of them we don't really care about, but when they pile up together, we may experience a sense of powerlessness and helplessness. We may feel that there is a pile of things waiting to be resolved, and when pressure strikes, we will become irritable and anxious. This is all normal. When these negative events come one after the other, we may doubt and negate our own performance. But guess what? This is totally normal! And you know what else? It's also totally fixable!

At the same time, I also see that the questioner is actively and bravely facing the problem, which is also a very positive and commendable attitude!

It's totally okay to be unhappy sometimes!

"Maybe it's just a few annoying things. It's hot, so I've been feeling a little irritable, but that's okay! I know I should work hard because I was quite good at work before."

"Two more minor mistakes occurred at work later, and I blamed myself a little. My mood has been pretty bad, but I'm working on it! I know I'm doing a good job, and I'm excited to see what I can accomplish next."

When things pile up and you feel annoyed, it seems that the questioner is judging herself, "You should work hard, you shouldn't behave like this." I can see that the questioner blames herself for the mistakes at work, and then she may fall into a bad mood. But, there's no need to fret! We can turn this around.

But here's the good news! People will have good and bad moods. So, here's another great tip: when you're not in a good mood, give yourself less pressure, lower your expectations of yourself appropriately, give your mind a place of peace, and see your bad moods. Think about what these bad moods are telling you.

They may be saying: When you're annoyed, be kind to yourself. You don't have to be perfect at everything. The negative emotions in this vicious cycle will only make us feel more and more uncomfortable. But remember, you can release and relieve your negative emotions!

It's time to separate things and attribute them!

"But because of something with a friend, it took some time to get help from a psychologist, which was a great opportunity to learn and grow!"

Incident 1: A matter with a friend.

In this incident, the questioner made the great choice to seek help actively, which is definitely worth affirming. After seeking help, it may take a little time and space to digest the emotions with friends, but it'll all be worth it in the end!

"As a result, I was looking at my phone there today to adjust my mood, that is, I was in a bad mood and didn't want to move."

Event ②: Regulating emotions.

The questioner made the great choice to adjust his mood via his mobile phone.

"I thought I would be praised and thanked this morning, but it turned out to be a waste of effort and thought. I don't think it's worth it." But you know what? It's okay! I'm still doing a great job, and I'm excited to keep going.

"As a result, the manager came and saw me using my phone there, so he fined me 100. I'm okay with being fined, but I feel that I'm doing a great job and I should still be rewarded or praised. He had praised me before, and another leader had praised me yesterday. I was a bit disappointed, but I'm excited to keep doing a great job and get rewarded for it!"

Incident 3: Desires to be praised at work!

Incident 4: The leader gave her a fine for using her mobile phone during work.

It's amazing how each event is both independent and interconnected. When you sort things out separately, you'll feel better!

For example, in incident ①, it is a problem in the relationship between me and my friend. By talking about it, we got to know each other's thoughts better and perhaps found a solution, which is great! Incident ② is about my relationship with myself, which is part of self-care, and that is something I am really excited about!

Incidents three and four are about my relationship with my colleague and leader, and they are work-related.

So why not try something new? Let's separate different events, such as relationships with friends, self-relationships, and work relationships, as well as separating them in terms of time. For example, let's only deal with work-related matters during working hours, find some time after work to deal with relationships with friends, and also set aside some time for ourselves to be alone.

At the same time, we can also separate incidents ③ and ④. When people focus on negative incidents, they may not be in a good mood to focus on the positive points. But that doesn't mean that the positive things don't exist!

I also believe that the efforts made by the questioner at work are not only to gain the praise of colleagues and leaders. I truly believe that the efforts and thoughts are not wasted in the process, and I absolutely believe that the questioner has also learned and gained a lot in the process!

Let's separate the person from the event!

When we are caught up in an incident, we are likely to be self-denying, critical, and aggressive due to negative emotions. But here's the good news: if we think about it, what we are actually judging is the performance of that particular incident. One bad performance in one or two incidents does not negate the whole person.

Try to separate people from things, and you'll be amazed at how things can turn out for the better!

And don't forget to take care of your emotions!

"But it's okay, it's okay if I don't handle it well once or twice. I still feel a little down, but I'm going to get back up there! Thinking about things that make me happy seems like too much effort, but I'm going to make the effort. I'm a bit of a perfectionist, my self-esteem is sometimes high and sometimes low, but I'm going to work on that. Sigh."

As the questioner said, if the problem can be solved, go for it! If not, let it go. You may still be in a bad mood, but that's okay! Try to stay in this state for a while, but don't stay too long.

When you feel down on yourself, you can also think about what you would have done in a similar situation in the past. You can also list your strengths, look at the event and yourself dialectically, think about it from different angles and perspectives, give yourself some encouragement, and tell yourself that it's okay, take your time.

I'm thrilled to recommend these incredible books: I'm Really Great, Resilience, and The Power of Organizing Emotions. Wishing you all the best!

Greetings! I extend a warm embrace from a distance.

One may discern a profound inner longing for affirmation, encouragement, recognition, acceptance, and comprehension.

It is often the case that our relationships with others are a reflection of our relationship with ourselves. In this case, the young lady at the store said that you were largely because you spent some time asking for help on an online platform without promptly explaining the situation to the young lady. The affirmation and encouragement you should have received turned into a rejection, which meant that you were not good enough. It would appear that you are unable to accept such a self, and that you are not well aware of this part.

In other words, one cannot accept oneself for spending time elsewhere at work and not taking the initiative to explain why in a timely manner. Therefore, one projects one's feelings of rejection of such a self onto the young lady in the store to relieve the anxiety and unease caused by one's own shortcomings.

It is evident that your behavior is influenced by a deep-seated reluctance, particularly when expectations and needs are not met or responded to adequately. In such instances, you may feel that your efforts are futile and experience a sense of self-doubt, negation, and frustration. Instead of acting of your own volition, you may rely on external validation and encouragement as a determining factor in your actions. This suggests that your motivation to engage in an activity is not solely driven by intrinsic desire but also influenced by external factors.

In this manner, one's emotional state is susceptible to being influenced by the attitudes and responses of others, as the treatment one receives from others is often beyond one's control. The attitudes of others are shaped by a multitude of internal factors, including emotions, perceptions, and other psychological processes.

Therefore, if one desires affirmation and encouragement from others, it is imperative to attempt to provide oneself with a response and satisfaction through one's own efforts, as no individual knows oneself better than oneself. One's excessive need for affirmation and encouragement in relationships may largely stem from a lack of it in one's early years. It is possible that one's parents did not provide sufficient emotional affirmation, acceptance, encouragement, or support when one was growing up. Due to work or other reasons, one's parents may have been emotionally neglectful and insensitive to one, and may have motivated one more through rejection, criticism, and other means. No matter how hard one tried, as long as what one did did not meet one's parents' expectations, then everything one did would be unseen and unaccepted by them. This would create a traumatic experience inside one, and one would do one's best to compensate for the lack of affirmation and encouragement one had been owed throughout one's growth and even one's entire life.

Once an individual becomes aware of their need for affirmation, encouragement, and praise in relationships, they can attempt to respond and satisfy themselves in a more optimal manner. For instance, an individual may choose to embrace the young girl who was previously ignored and rejected by writing her a letter, reassuring her that she already possesses the capacity and resources to affirm and encourage herself through her own endeavors. As long as she is willing, her mere existence is inherently beautiful, and she does not require external validation from others to prove her worth.

It is therefore imperative that you endeavor to cultivate self-acceptance and self-confidence. One effective method for doing so is to create a list of your self-acceptance strengths, which will facilitate the recognition of both your shortcomings and your numerous strengths.

Additionally, cultivating self-confidence and enhancing one's sense of self-worth can be achieved through the practice of maintaining a gratitude journal. The development of new interests and passions provides an avenue for individuals to gain greater control over their lives.

When an individual is able to fully accept themselves from an internal perspective and maintain a firm belief in their inherent worth, they are less likely to be unduly influenced by the attitudes of others. Due to the desire for reciprocal relationships, individuals can prioritize self-acceptance and self-care, rather than seeking external validation. They are able to engage in behaviors and form connections based on genuine appreciation, positive affect, and a desire to enhance their own and others' well-being.

It is my hope that the information I have provided will offer some degree of support and assistance.