Does he not love me enough because he likes to play with his phone on our dates?

Good morning, my name is Shu Ya Qingzheng, and I would like to take this opportunity to share my thoughts and offer you my support.

Do you find it disconcerting when your partner is preoccupied with his mobile phone on every date, stating that the honeymoon period is over?

You are able to reflect on your feelings and needs in a self-critical manner and are courageous enough to apply psychological knowledge in order to seek enhanced intimacy and self-growth.

The love theory proposed by American psychologist Sternberg identifies three fundamental components of love: passion, intimacy, and commitment.

In this context, passion refers to the sexual aspect of love and emotional fascination. Intimacy, on the other hand, refers to the warm experience that can be aroused in a loving relationship. Finally, commitment refers to the decision to maintain the relationship or a guarantee.

During the time spent together, both the appearance and inner charm of an individual influence passion. Passion is also a kind of emotional fascination, and the saying "what the lover sees is beautiful" means that the more you look, the more you like.

While it is not realistic to expect an intimate relationship to maintain long-lasting passion, there are factors that can be controlled to help build an intimate relationship.

The two have experienced the initial stages of a romantic relationship, indicating a past attraction. To foster continued growth and engagement, it is essential for them to cultivate shared interests and develop common goals. This will provide a broader foundation for meaningful dialogue on dates, rather than relying on superficial topics.

Intimacy in a relationship refers to the psychological feeling of liking and appreciation for one's partner, the desire to provide care and support, self-expression, and inner communication.

As you correctly observed, loving someone requires not only companionship, but also attention and expressions of love. A good relationship must involve good communication and interaction. A couple's space needs the flow of love, and when there is a lack of emotional investment in the relationship, the flow of love is blocked. This makes it difficult to feel the sweetness of love.

It would be beneficial to learn to express your perceived feelings and needs to him clearly. It is important to maintain a good relationship by ensuring that each other feels the kind of attention and love that is required.

It is also important to understand that in all relationships, it is essential to prioritize self-care. This entails learning to love and value oneself, and then sharing that positive self-image with one's partner. This approach can help foster a more comfortable and fulfilling relationship.

commitment primarily denotes an individual's internal or verbal expectations regarding love, representing the most rational aspect of romantic relationships.

If intimacy is defined as "warm" and passion as "fervent," then commitment can be described as "calm."

It is also a source of stability for two individuals. With the promise of "holding hands with you and growing old with you," we have a source of strength within us that brings peace and happiness, allowing us to share our successes and challenges together and remain committed to each other.

It appears that your boyfriend is unable to provide you with the sense of security you require. If he persists in using his phone in this manner on dates and does not offer an explanation, it is evident that he does not care about you or respect the relationship.

Therefore, you may wish to consider formally communicating with him to clearly inform him that his behavior has affected the relationship, clarify the identity and role of each other, and see if the relationship can be rebuilt.

02. Alfred Adler, the founder of individual psychology, once proposed the concept that all human troubles originate from interpersonal relationships.

It is not uncommon to encounter interpersonal challenges and difficulties at various stages. It is commendable that you are able to recognize these issues and address them.

Identifying the issue is an essential first step in finding a solution. You are to be commended for recognizing this. Personal growth and fostering positive relationships are ongoing processes. There is no need to rush.

You may wish to consider seeking professional assistance from a counselor or pursuing continuous learning to enhance your ability to interact with others in a more gentle and tolerant manner, thereby improving your overall quality of life.

05. Reading is an excellent habit for nourishing and enriching the soul. It is highly recommended to read some psychology books on personal growth and interpersonal communication, such as:

"If Only I Knew Before Marriage," "The Courage to Be Disliked," and "The Art of Communication," among others.

If you do not love yourself, who will? The time to act is now.

Best regards,

The world and I extend our best wishes to you and hope to be of assistance.

Greetings, question asker. My name is Qingqing, and I am a social worker.

From the information provided, it is evident that the subject is experiencing feelings of sadness and helplessness, as well as a desire to alter the current situation. It is hoped that the analysis presented will provide responses to the questions posed.

(1) Initially, it is evident that the questioner comprehends the sentiments expressed. In regard to the conduct of her partner, it is commendable that she has initiated dialogue through inquiries. With regard to the assertion that the "honeymoon period is over," it is pertinent to inquire whether the couple is still in the initial stages of courtship, and what the anticipated dynamics will be in the event of marriage.

This is also a significant issue that requires resolution. It is possible that your boyfriend holds disparate beliefs and attitudes, and it may be beneficial for you to collaborate in working towards a mutual understanding.

(2) Identify the problem and propose a solution. It is of greater consequence to consider how the questioner will proceed and what decision they will make next.

1. Is the majority of time spent together a source of happiness? Is the relationship beneficial to both parties?

The question thus arises as to whether an attempt should be made to reconcile the relationship. 2. In the event that a decision is taken to attempt a reconciliation,

It is imperative to establish effective communication as a means of fostering mutual understanding and resolving any underlying issues. A candid and constructive dialogue between the two parties is essential to ascertain the root cause of the discomfort and to devise a mutually acceptable solution.

3. Should a decision be made to separate after careful consideration, it is essential to proceed with decisive action. This entails drawing a conclusion from the relationship, identifying areas for improvement, and pursuing self-development in a relationship.

I wish you the best of luck! (Yi Xinli, Social Worker)