Don't want to get married or have children, but I want to fall in love; is that wrong?

Hello, host!

We are born as human beings and we all have emotions. Some people are emotionally rich, while others are naturally cold-hearted.

It is a beautiful thing to encounter someone who cares and is beloved to us. Happiness will heal a wounded heart.

Then we will encounter such people, and I am such a person.

I don't have any love to give myself, so why should I expect others to treat me with love?

The original poster has chosen to break up because she cannot satisfy her boyfriend's needs at the moment.

This shows that the original poster has a good understanding of herself. She made a quick decision to avoid keeping the other person waiting.

This has obviously caused the original poster pain, and you regret it. Otherwise, you wouldn't have posted here for help.

I want to ask you directly: Are you really not going to regret your decision in the future?

The original poster said her boyfriend tried desperately to win her back, which shows he doesn't want to let her go and that he has feelings for her.

If you propose breaking up again, the other person may not have the strength to save the breakup-being-cautious-or-somewhat-afraid-of-intimate-relationships-is-it-prudence-or-emotional-hurt-8715.html" target="_blank">relationship a second or third time. In that case, your fate will slowly fade away.

In life, there are really only a few good relationships you can encounter. If you miss one, it's gone for good.

You have to be really determined and really not want this person anymore.

You've already made the decision to break up, so don't regret it. You made the choice yourself.

The original poster is hesitant because she's afraid of marriage and childbirth. She's afraid to go deeper into this relationship.

The host needs to find out why you're afraid of getting married and having children.

It's time to identify the root cause. Is it an influence brought from the original family, or is it the result of the fear caused by the unhappy lives of those around you who got married and had children?

The result of fear will definitely have a cause for fear. The original poster must find the root cause within.

Tell your boyfriend the truth. If you still feel scared, tell him you have psychological confusion. As a man, can you accept it?

Or you may be afraid for the time being, but when you have built a high level of trust and love with your partner, you will make the brave choice for them.

A woman who deeply loves her man wants to have children with him and start a family.

The host may also feel that they are still young and don't want to get married so early.

All of this is understandable. But after many years, you may regret losing the person you love because of your current fears!

You don't want to get married and have children, but you also don't want to lose your current boyfriend. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

Your current suffering is a direct result of your indecision.

We often see things clearly for others, but we are often at a loss when it comes to our own affairs.

We all regret our choices.

You will reduce fear and hesitation as long as you make the choice you need to make and are able to bear the consequences.

I wish you a happy life!

I am Warm June, and I love you!

Hello. I'll give you a 360-degree hug.

From your question, it's clear you don't want to get married or have children. You just want to fall in love. Is that wrong? Absolutely not.

This is your lifestyle, and you don't care what other people think.

Your boyfriend and you are aiming for marriage. He wants to get married and have children. You know you can't meet his needs, so you broke up.

This is admirable. You know what you want, you know what the other person wants, you know that you cannot meet the other person's expectations, and you are willing to reject the other person for their future, preferring to be sad on your own.

You are responsible. You didn't ask the other person to change, and when you realized you couldn't change for them, you left because the conflict was important to both of you.

After the breakup, you realize you're dependent on each other and the other person is trying to win you back. You ask if you can be friends.

This is what you want. But from your description, it is difficult for the other person to simply treat you as a friend.

He ultimately hopes to get married and have children. You need to decide what you're going to do when that day comes. And between a man and a woman, once one party has feelings, it is difficult to maintain a purely friendly relationship.

We are all ordinary people. We are not Jin Yuelin, who could retreat to the position of a friend and guard the friendship for the rest of his life after Lin Huiyin rejected his love. We are not in that position.

You have every right to be in a relationship and be friends with the other person. However, this is only your opinion. A relationship involves at least two people, and the other person also has their own choices and the right to insist on them.

This is a bit of a conflict. We cannot ask the other person to change for us. We can, however, rule out people who are willing to give up their principles out of love.

I am more concerned about why you don't want to get married and have children. You need to tell me what is so frightening about marriage.

You need to understand the reason behind your fear if you want to make a better decision.

You need to talk to a counselor.

I am a counselor who is often Buddhist and sometimes pessimistic, occasionally positive and motivated. The world and I love you.

Hello, dear question asker!

I can see you're struggling and confused because you broke up with your boyfriend so definitively.

But if you start to feel confused and lost, on the one hand you don't want to get married and have children,

On the other hand, you have this strong, inextricable feeling of attachment to the boy who's chasing you.

I can see you're struggling to let go of this relationship.

I'm not sure how old you are, sweetheart.

I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling this way. I wish I could tell you what happened to make you feel this way about marriage and having children.

From the perspective of human needs and a pluralistic view of marriage,

You can live alone for the rest of your life if you want to, or you can get married as many times as you like within the scope of the law. Of course, you can also choose to just fall in love without getting married, as long as you don't hurt the person you're in love with.

If you've made this choice based on your own values and outlook on life, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that!

I'd also like to mention another topic that I think is worth discussing.

I'm wondering when you first started thinking that love but not marriage was enough for you.

If you've had a tough time in your own childhood, it's only natural that you'd want your child to have a different experience.

Or maybe you've had some tough experiences in the past, like failed relationships or miscarriages. It's totally normal to feel a bit scared after that. We can all relate to feeling a little bit shy after being hurt like that.

I can see how this fear of traditional marriage has caused the current situation.

So, this psychological barrier is causing you a bit of distress at the moment.

It might be helpful to think about whether you could benefit from some professional counseling to help you work through this.

And is there a future with your boyfriend? It's something you'll only know if you experience it and feel it. And the only way to do that is through open communication and sharing with your boyfriend.

And through communication and negotiation, you can find out whether you can make it work together in the end.

I can see that you broke up because your views on marriage and love didn't match up with your partner's. I can also see that you were worried about hurting your partner.

Have you ever thought that this might have something to do with your feelings about marriage?

How can you make a choice? Well, the answer might be found by gaining a better understanding of yourself.

I just wanted to let you know that, because there's not a lot of data to work with, the above analysis is just a reference for now.

Hello, I'm counselor Yao, and I'm here for you!

Soothe the part of you that is conflicted and full of regrets.

First of all, I'm not sure how old you are. If you're still young and just want to fall in love, it's normal not to get married for the time being. There's no need to be too entangled or conflicted. If you're relatively old, you really need to make a change and figure out why you don't want to get married or have children.

Second, if you're not interested in getting married or having kids, it might be related to your relationship with your parents. Maybe your parents' relationship with you has influenced your views. It's important to think about the root of the problem.

Third, you also said you can't leave him and that you're very dependent on him. This is actually the feeling of being in love and married. You're just trying to deny and end this relationship, which is the function of reason. But as you get older, you need an object of long-term emotional and physical dependence, and that may be your other half.

The truth is, falling in love and getting married are just a matter of time. Marriage is really about exploring love in a way that's always evolving.

My advice to you is to take your time, think about why you're not getting married and what you want from the future, and then make changes to your current situation.

I'm looking forward to staying in touch. Personal public account: A Young Person Acting Like a Fake (ID: qingnianJIA2020)

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