During the New Year holiday, some people may feel idle and can't help feeling guilty?

Happy New Year!

I am empathetic to your situation and believe it accurately represents a significant portion of the population.

Accept the present moment.

I refuse to waste time after sleeping in. I want to live every day to the fullest.

You think late rising is a waste of time. I disagree. A good night's sleep helps our body recover better. Our bodies know what they need.

You must manage tasks and time reasonably.

It's important to find a reasonable task difficulty. Tasks that are too difficult can make us want to lie down, while tasks that are too easy don't give us a sense of accomplishment. A reasonable task difficulty is the edge of our comfort zone—it's the tasks that require us to stretch a little to reach.

You should combine your own abilities with the actual situation in your environment to rate the difficulty of tasks. Then adjust the difficulty of tasks according to the ratings.

Self-care is essential.

We must address the sense of self-blame that arises from not finishing things. We complete tasks and improve ourselves to help us feel alive and experience different things. The process is more important than the result. This is not a 100-meter sprint.

No one is perfect, and even superheroes need time to cool off. So at the end of the day, you can hug yourself, focus more on the positive things that have been accomplished, and give yourself timely affirmation.

When you can be kind to yourself, you have the strength to make positive adjustments to the things in your life.

I love cameras. I love taking pictures. The world is a beautiful place, and I love it.

Hello, my name is [name] and I'm a heart exploration coach. Life is a beautiful journey, and it's so important to appreciate all the wonderful things it has to offer.

I totally get this feeling! In the past, I wouldn't let myself waste time and would spend all my time on meaningful things like reading, studying, and writing. But gradually, I came to understand and let go. I realized that life is full of variety, and apart from so-called meaningful things, there should also be some interesting things to spice things up! Just like spicy chicken also needs potato chips to make the dish!

1. Learn about "mental accounting"

We're happy to spend our time and money on things that matter to us.

For example, I love reading! I don't mind spending a few hundred dollars on books. But if I spend a few hundred dollars on lipstick, I'll think twice about it.

You feel like you have a lot to do every day, and you feel guilty if you sleep in, as if you've done something wrong. We've all been there!

In your mental account, there's no such thing as "sleeping in." You've got a lot going on, and you're killing it! Doing things, doing a lot of planned things is your account list.

?2. I'd love to know where your sense of value comes from!

"Where attention goes, performance is born." We're happy to spend our time on things that make us feel valuable, like doing things that give you a sense of value, existence, and security in the process.

Just a heads-up, though: that feeling of being rushed can sometimes come with a hint of anxiety. Some folks even describe themselves as being like a "spinning top" every day, with no time to spare. Are they really too busy to stop, or are they "not allowed" to stop?

Stay aware, feel your emotional experiences, and see what emotional need is behind this emotion, whether it is security, being understood, accepted, or affirmed. You've got this!

3. It's Chinese New Year, so go ahead and treat yourself!

No matter if you're an office worker or a housewife, you've worked hard all year long. It's not every day you can sleep in as late as you do during the New Year, go for a stroll, and eat to your heart's content, right? And who doesn't love treating themselves to a little luxury every now and then?

We all know how it goes. You work hard all year round, and then you get your bonus at the end of the year. It's only fair that you treat yourself a little, don't you think?

It's so easy to make the gyro stop spinning! All you have to do is let go, let go of the whip that's driving it. Let go of the high expectations you have of yourself. Give it a try, sleep in tomorrow, and the sun won't strike!

I hope you had a lovely holiday! I watched "Hot and Spicy," caught up on the American drama "Better Call Saul," and watched several other good movies. I look forward to sharing them with you!

I really hope this has been helpful for you, and I love you and the world too!

If you'd like to keep in touch, you can follow my personal homepage, "Heart Exploration Service."

Hello, Ting'er! Your screen name is quite intimate and endearing, and your posts seem to reveal a certain level of self-discipline and a drive to do more.

This may be seen as a contradiction. It is possible that your online name is calling out to you subconsciously, suggesting that you love yourself a little more.

From your post, I get the impression that you are a very self-aware person. You say that because you have arranged so much for yourself, you always feel that you don't have enough time to do everything during the Spring Festival holiday, and you feel a sense of being rushed inside. Then you examine your own arrangements and feel that you don't actually have to do so much.

If you become more aware of yourself, you may find that not doing so much is boring and meaningless, and you may even blame yourself for wasting time.

From what you have shared, it seems that you have two distinct types of self-experience, which you have described as concentric circles in your heart. The outer layer, which you have called the acting self, is engaged in a multitude of activities and feels a sense of satisfaction, stability, and accomplishment when tasks are accomplished. In contrast, the innermost layer, which you have called the existential self, feels bored and meaningless when there is no activity.

It could be said that these two parts of the self are formed with our caregivers in our early childhood. They complement each other in a dynamic combination and together form a sense of worth in life.

The acting self is formed by the feeling of doing things together with the nurturer. For example, when your parents accompany you to arrange and complete learning tasks when you go to school, this mainly forms our sense of self-efficacy. This is the feeling that we are capable and can complete tasks well. The existing self is formed by how parents accompany you through those times when you are not doing anything useful. For example, this could be daydreaming, playing games with you, or coexisting in your own respective things. This could be when your parents are doing housework, reading books, and you are playing with toys. This kind of existential fullness and tranquility forms our sense of unconditional worth. This is the feeling that we are valuable just for existing. It is similar to the feeling that a plant is valuable just for existing. This is even if we don't do anything and have no real achievements.

From your post, it seems that you are highly self-disciplined and enjoy doing things. Perhaps you have a very good sense of efficacy. It's possible that some of what you do is out of necessity, and some of it is used to resist the emptiness that the self feels. It might not be a real need, but it could be a need of the self that holds together the emptiness. This part of doing things to resist emptiness might take on an involuntary nature.

You might find it helpful to consider mindfulness as a way of approaching your psychological situation. Mindfulness practice has the potential to bring at least two benefits. First, mindfulness breathing, focusing attention on breathing, can help you learn to experience the pure sensation of being with the breath of life and to cultivate a sense of simple and fulfilling existence. Second, mindfulness is about accepting everything that happens, which may be helpful for your self-acceptance.

Hello Ting Bao, I hope this helps.

I used to beat myself up for getting up late and not achieving my goals. I was a perfectionist who wasn't accepting of myself. Then I learned to be kind to myself and truly accepted myself. By being "aware, not judging, and in the moment," I have become someone who can be kind to myself and live in the present.

My advice is:

1. Know when you're being self-critical and why. These thoughts can be changed.

My mind was once filled with self-blame. I realized these voices were all the rebukes I received from my parents and other important people when I was young. I unknowingly internalized these voices and their attitude towards myself.

When I understand that these thoughts are just thoughts and not real, I see that I just have some self-deprecating thoughts. I can choose to let go of these thoughts. I can also choose to have some thoughts that make me feel better.

2. Accept yourself, including your perfectionism and self-criticism.

Accept yourself completely, including your bad parts and everything else about you.

Be kind and gentle to yourself. Accept yourself unconditionally. When you wake up late, accept it and tell yourself it's okay. Sleep a little longer. You're safe. It's not a waste of time. Sleep is important. More sleep will make you more productive.

You also need to practice accepting yourself. For example, tap your thigh and say, "I accept myself, even though I'm not perfect."

3. Live in the present. You can only control the present, so focus on it.

When we blame ourselves for the past or worry about the future, we are thinking about things we cannot change. The only thing we can change is the present, and that is the reality of life.

Then things become simple. Live in the present and take control of the moment. When you notice your thoughts flying to the past or the future, relax and bring yourself back. Then, do what you are doing with dedication: eat well, sleep well, read well.

This way, you live each moment to the fullest. Your life is rich and profound. This is not a waste of time. You will also see that you do many things every day, experience a lot, and live your life to the fullest.

Read "The Eight-Week Mindfulness Journey" and do the exercises to live in the present and create beauty in your life.

For reference. Best wishes!

I am pleased to be able to respond to your query. I hope that my suggestions will prove to be of some assistance.

It is commendable that you are able to engage in self-reflection and are motivated to pursue change.

It is imperative that we promptly regulate our anxiety and reduce the pressure we place on ourselves.

During the holiday, it is essential to recognize that the purpose of the holiday is to provide a period of rest. Even if one's activities are limited to eating and sleeping for 24 hours a day, it is not an indication of a mistake.

In contemporary society, there is a tendency towards an inward-looking attitude, which can be perceived as a forced choice for all members of society. It is possible to accept this source of pressure when one is engaged in work or study, thereby facilitating the ability to study and work effectively.

However, when it comes to proper rest, one has the option to choose to rest.

This section is concerned with the importance of self-acceptance and the ability to relax.

If one is not inclined towards idleness or laziness, it is possible to create a suitable schedule for oneself.

Additionally, during the holiday period, it is possible to create a daily schedule. This schedule can be structured in a variety of ways, ranging from highly structured to more flexible.

For instance, one might engage in a daily reading practice, allocating a specific time for this activity. Upon completion of the reading, one could record the time on a time card, which could be kept as a personal record or shared online.

For example, with regard to exercise, one might consider the example of a fisherman who fishes for two days and then stops for three days. Similarly, one could exercise two or three times a week for approximately two or three hours each time.

In this manner, we can achieve the tasks we desire to complete during the middle of the week without a significant degree of focus, which can render each day challenging and even result in the inability to fulfill certain projects.

These weekly or daily activities can be distributed and scheduled in accordance with one's interests or initial objectives.

It is crucial to be mindful of one's emotional state during the holiday season. In the event that one experiences significant distress and is unable to regulate their emotions independently, it is imperative to seek professional assistance in a timely manner. Resources such as the National Psychological Hotline or online professional listeners or counselors can be invaluable in providing a safe space to express emotions and promote overall physical and mental well-being.

It is my hope that through introspection and the formulation of a plan, your holiday experience will be both fulfilling and comfortable.

I extend my warmest regards to the world and to all of you.