Eighteen-year-old high school senior, what should I do when my mother causes me both physical and mental torture?

Hello, my child. I am certain my answer will be of some help to you.

Your mother isn't taking care of you like she should, and you need her to step up. Have you ever told her that?

My advice is this:

Do what you can, make use of the resources available, and take care of your diet and living conditions.

You may feel tired because you worry about too many things. But you can change that.

If you can change it, change it. There's no point in dwelling on it. If you can't change it, accept it.

As it says in "A Change of Heart," there are only three things in this world: your own affairs, other people's affairs, and the affairs of heaven. People are troubled because they don't control their own affairs. They worry about other people's affairs and the affairs of heaven instead.

You need to decide what is your own business and what is other people's business.

The behavior and thoughts of others—including your mother—are their business.

A person's current state is shaped by their upbringing, educational background, and living environment. If they don't want to change, there's little we can do to change them.

Our own actions and thoughts are our own business.

We cannot control the actions and thoughts of others. Our lives are not about satisfying the needs and approval of others. We must pay more attention to ourselves. We must understand ourselves. We must identify our needs. We must help ourselves solve our problems.

When you take care of yourself, love yourself enough, and improve your mental energy, you will then have the ability and energy to love others.

Focus on what you can do. Keep improving your abilities, accumulate your knowledge, enrich your experience, and continue to grow.

It is essential to distinguish between our own affairs and other people's affairs. This allows us to accept what cannot be changed and change what can be changed.

When we accept others and realize that we cannot change them, we will not be too bothered by their actions and thoughts. Accepting their patterns and getting used to their behavior will bring your heart peace and relaxation, and prevent emotional drain.

If your mom can't provide regular meals, ask her (or your dad) for money. You can buy food, cook, or go to a relative's house. When I was in high school, I often cooked my own meals. This was beneficial when I entered society.

You can also find out what resources you can use. There are always more ways than there are problems. Take care of yourself. You've got this.

You should try to communicate with your mother if possible.

You can and should express your feelings and needs through non-violent communication.

The steps of non-violent communication are: state the objective facts, express your feelings, express your needs, and request the other person's action.

Tell your mother, "I can't eat on time every day. I feel bad, a little uncomfortable, and a little angry. I hope you can support me and care about me. In the future, can you cook for me on time every day? Can you tell me why you don't cook for me at home?"

This will help you express the feelings and emotions you've been suppressing, making you feel more relaxed. At the same time, you'll gain insight into the reasons behind your mother's actions. You'll understand her better and may even be able to change her.

If you feel anxious about the college entrance exam, you can and should use these methods to relieve your stress.

Take a deep breath. Hold it for a second or two. Then, slowly exhale. Repeat a few times, and you will feel relaxed. Afterwards, you can go about your other business. Practice this whenever you have time. It will help you calm down quickly when anxiety strikes.

Aerobic exercise is an excellent way to improve your mood and relieve stress. You should exercise at least twice a week to see results. Try running, playing basketball, badminton, table tennis, or going for a walk.

Don't overdo it, though. You'll avoid injury if you stick to half an hour to an hour at a time.

On the eve of the exam, it is crucial to maintain the habit of reviewing to reassure yourself. Two weeks before the exam, create a plan for the exam. Don't do too many questions; instead, review and summarize. Look at your notes, past exam papers with mistakes, etc.

In the week before the exam, avoid difficult practice questions. Instead, do relatively simple questions and questions that match the difficulty of the exam. This will help you reassure yourself and give yourself more confidence. When organizing exam papers and wrong questions, tell yourself: I have done so many exam papers and reviews, I have tried hard, so it's okay, I need to have confidence in myself...

Your life should be organized scientifically. Don't stay up late. You have limited energy in a day, and after studying for so long, it's even easier to get tired. Adjust your daily routine to fit the college entrance exam schedule. Get seven hours of sleep a day. Don't study right after eating. The stomach takes up a lot of blood after eating, and the brain is oxygen-deprived, which isn't good for learning. You can listen to music, take a walk, chat, etc.

The college entrance exam is held during the day, so adjust your schedule to keep you energized. 3-5 days before the exam, do practice questions similar to the level of the college entrance exam in the morning and afternoon every day. You don't have to learn anything new. At other times, just memorize some other knowledge points.

I am confident that the above will be helpful. Best wishes.

Hello, classmate. I can imagine it must be challenging for you right now, both physically and mentally.

Not only do they eat poorly, they are also alienated by the people closest to them. This can lead to feelings of distress, as if you are being subjected to a form of torture, both physically and mentally. It is also likely to have a negative impact on your studies and exam preparations, and you may feel a sense of helplessness.

You are very smart and have demonstrated your ability to seek out help when needed. Having a good understanding of where to go for help is an important sign of maturity.

However, I would gently suggest that next time you ask for help with a similar problem, you could perhaps describe your problem in as much detail as possible, such as the reason why your mother is angry, etc., so that the teachers here can give you more precise help. You could also add details in the comment section if you think that would be helpful.

If I might offer my humble opinion, I believe that…

If I might offer my humble opinion, I believe that…

If I may make a suggestion, I think it would be really beneficial for you to learn to take care of yourself by preparing your own meals.

[1] If I may make a suggestion, it would be a good idea for you to take this opportunity to learn to take care of yourself by preparing your own meals.

I wonder if you are aware that nowadays, many high school students your age are taken care of too well by their parents, and they don't have to worry about anything except their studies. They never enter the kitchen.

I believe that this parenting model may result in students lacking the ability to take care of themselves when they go to university. I'm not sure about your situation.

If I might make a suggestion, why not seize this golden opportunity to learn? Perhaps you could start by taking care of your own meals.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider ways of gently discouraging the mother's plan to try to starve the baby.

You might like to start by familiarizing yourself with the kitchen facilities, such as the rice cooker and gas stove. You could then try cooking some convenience foods, such as instant noodles, or boiling eggs. If you would like some tips, you can search for videos on Baidu B station.

I believe that eating meals you have cooked yourself is a great feeling. Have you ever tried it?

[2] Even the closest relationships require learning to recognize and express emotions.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider why your mother was angry and what might have led to that situation. It might also be beneficial to reflect on what else she might have been feeling at the time.

If I might ask, what were your feelings at the time? And if I could go back in time, what would I do differently?

Perhaps it would be helpful to take a moment to consider what you would like your mother to do at this moment.

Emotions are also a kind of ability, which is often referred to as "emotional intelligence." This includes recognizing your own emotions and those of others, as well as controlling emotions, etc. It's important to remember that emotions are neither positive nor negative; they all have a positive meaning.

Perhaps you could start your journey to improving your emotional intelligence by finding out why your mother is angry this time.

If it might be of interest to you, you might like to read a book about it, such as Daniel Goleman's Emotional Intelligence.

[3] Perhaps you could try to break the ice in a friendly way, such as asking your father for forgiveness on WeChat or acting in a charming manner.

I wonder if I might ask you about your father. I haven't heard you mention him, and I'm not sure if you've discussed things with him. What is his attitude towards the two of you having a falling out? Has he done anything?

It might be helpful to look for an opportunity to talk to him, share your concerns, and ask for guidance.

Perhaps it would be helpful to discuss this with your mother on WeChat.

[4] It could be said that growing up means separation. Six months before you go to university alone,

I may be wrong, but I think young people your age are more distressed by their parents' interference and control in their lives, and they are tired of their nagging. So, compared to them, aren't you happier?

It is often said that growing up involves a certain degree of separation from one's parents. This process allows individuals to truly grow up and become independent. So, while becoming an adult at the age of 18 is a significant milestone, it is just one step in the journey of personal growth. True growth occurs when individuals face the challenges of life with resilience and understanding, while their parents gradually shift from providing direct support to offering guidance and emotional support from a distance. In general, starting university can be a challenging transition. It is not uncommon to observe different levels of maturity among classmates, with some still relying on their parents for guidance and support, while others have already begun to navigate life's challenges independently.

If I may suggest, perhaps it would be helpful to view this as a preview. Is that okay with you?

[5] With the start of the new school year fast approaching, you'll soon be in the final stretch before the college entrance exam. It's an important time to adjust your mentality and focus on improving your scores, with the goal of getting into the university of your dreams. Best of luck, duckling!

I hope you will find this information helpful.

If I can be of any assistance, please do not hesitate to contact me.

I am Uncle Ai, a heart exploration coach, and I hope I can be of some assistance to you.

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Hello, classmate. I see you're confused. Hugs!

You have family problems. I hug you again.

Maybe you fought with your mom and that's why she's ignoring you and won't cook for you.

I don't know how your dad is.

If your parents are still okay, ask your dad why your mom is mad at you.

You didn't say much, so we can't give you better advice.

You're 18. After the college entrance exam, you'll go to college.

You will have to learn to be independent in college.

Instead of complaining, use this time to learn to take care of yourself.

You can download an app called "Hungry?" to have food delivered to your door.

Do you usually go to the supermarket or convenience store?

If there is, you can also buy similar fast food to heat up at home.

Go out to a restaurant and order what you like.

Then give your mother a copy so you can back down.

Your mother may not be as bothered by the minor conflicts you had before.

You can also get help from the school psychologist at your high school.

If there is no psychologist, you can also see a counselor.

Students get 50% off counseling on the platform. Just fill out a form and submit a school certificate.

I hope you find a solution soon.

That's all for now.

I hope my answer helps and inspires you. I am the answer, and I study hard every day.

Yixinli loves you! Best wishes!