Ever since I started working, I have always demanded perfection from myself, and I get anxious every day. What should I do?

Hello, question asker. I can see that you're feeling a bit confused, and I'm here to support you!

From what you've shared in your writing, it seems like you have a tendency towards perfectionism.

It might be helpful to consider the influence of your family of origin in this situation.

For instance, when you were a child, you were pleased to come home with a test score of 100%. However, your parents offered constructive criticism for not writing neatly.

As a result, you have been brought up to do everything to the best of your ability.

It seems that you want to format your work correctly, with no typos, and that you believe the content should be detailed.

However, you also have the expectation that you should be able to complete the work in a relatively short period of time.

Perhaps it's a bit much to demand so much of yourself.

Perhaps it would be helpful to take a step back and focus on finishing the task first, and then working on perfecting it later.

I believe this approach will help you feel less pressure.

If you are still feeling anxious, you might consider making an appointment with your leader to discuss your concerns about getting your work done.

Perhaps you could ask him how long he thinks is realistic to spend on a task?

It might also be helpful to consider how much time you actually spent on it and why you spent so much time on it. You could then ask the leader to give you some more relevant advice.

I truly hope that the issue you're facing can be resolved as soon as possible.

At this moment, I am only able to offer the above.

I hope my above answer is helpful and inspiring to you, the questioner. I am the answerer, and I study hard every day.

I would like to extend my best wishes to you all here at Yixinli.

If I might make one more suggestion, perhaps it would be helpful to consider the following:

Hello friend, After reading your description, I want you to know that you are not alone in feeling imperfect. In your description of the problem, you said you are afraid that you are imperfect, but how many people in the world are truly perfect?

Confucius said, "Even the wise and saintly make mistakes." It's clear to every Chinese person that Confucius was wise and saintly, but even he admitted that people make mistakes.

When faced with minor mistakes at work, you should pay attention to every little detail. Work more slowly, and don't try to get quick results. Don't try to satisfy your boss's work progress in just a few hours.

Take your time with the work. You have more time to check and improve. Take your time to complete the work carefully and hand it over to your boss.

Mistakes are normal at work. You made a small mistake in an article, as you said in the question.

This is perfectly normal. It's just a mistake in the usual report, not a mistake in the year-end report. And don't worry about making a mistake in the year-end report. Your leader will find a way to fix it.

Do your job well and let your leader handle the rest.

Have fun.

Dear questioner, I want to give you a big thumbs up first for your dedication to doing a good job. And for your courage in sharing your situation here.

I totally get it. You're worried that because you've made a few changes to the work, people will say you're not mature enough to do the job perfectly the first time. This kind of mentality is super common in the workplace. We all want to be recognized for our work and have a great professional image, and that's totally normal!

Now, let's dive into what you said: the pursuit of perfection. From the perspective of interpersonal communication and analysis psychology, the pursuit of perfection is one of the most important driving forces for people to survive in the world – and it's a great thing!

If we do things in a haphazard manner and are satisfied with just about anything, then how can there be any progress as a human being? And how can there be any striving for perfection at work? Let's do things right! Let's be satisfied with nothing less than our best! Let's strive for perfection!

So striving for perfection is never wrong, but rather a good work quality. And it's something to be celebrated! Just be sure to pay attention to the right amount of perfection.

If striving for perfection causes you stress and affects your quality of life, you should definitely lower your expectations a little and relax! If striving for perfection makes your workplace run more smoothly and doesn't cause you any particular problems, then there's absolutely no problem with it!

From your question, I can tell that you are not bothered by your perfectionism, but by the fact that you are worried that if you do a job well more than once, people will say you are immature. This is not a problem with perfectionism, but rather an expression of your lack of confidence in yourself. The good news is that you can work on this!

I would absolutely love to have someone like this on my team! I would think that this person is malleable and full of potential.

The work is generally done really well, and there are just a few details that can be improved. I would absolutely love to have a subordinate like this!

After all, nobody's perfect! If you were to do a job perfectly from the start, you'd probably soon be in charge!

So, dear, it's absolutely okay to strive for perfection! Just don't be demanding.

It's totally normal to have changes in the work plan! Every workplace person has come through such experiences to become a veteran or even a master. I can't wait to see what your ever-better career path will look like, and I wish you nothing but success at work and happiness in life!

I just want you to remember that I love you and the whole world loves you here!

Hello, I'm Li Di. Thanks for talking to me.

At work, if you spend a long time on a document and your boss doesn't like it, you spend more time changing it. You also refer to other people's work, but you're not sure about some parts. When you show it to your boss, he doesn't give you feedback. There are even typos, but it's marked as your work. You should feel insecure and helpless, thinking that your boss will support you, but neither happens. You immediately correct the mistakes and send it to your boss again. But then you find that the format is wrong, so you send it again. The more you do this, the more you doubt yourself. It's easy to feel anxious. I have some thoughts on this, and I hope to discuss them with you.

I'm working hard but haven't received feedback. How can I communicate with my leader?

Understanding the leader's views on my work helps me learn and relax.

☞ Second, I always demand perfection from myself. Is this standard of perfection suitable for my current work?

Should I change my idea of perfection at work?

☞ Third, I'm afraid everyone knows it was me and thinks I'm not careful. Am I really not careful?

Are there other possibilities? Maybe my colleagues will help me improve.

The above discussion is just another way of thinking. If something makes you uncomfortable, you can ignore it. This is just an assumption.

Next, we'll look at the reasons behind your feelings and needs. This will help you understand and accept yourself better.

You seem tense and uneasy when you describe your experience. You're not just struggling with the work task, but also doubting your abilities and worrying about what others think.

This feeling may be caused by a high level of self-worth and a fear of failure. Many people have this experience, especially in the workplace.

You want to be understood and accepted. You want to excel at work, but you are afraid of making mistakes.

You may need a supportive environment where you can express your concerns without fear of judgment. Such an environment can help you build confidence and learn from mistakes.

You may also need to feel that your work is about personal growth. When you are recognized for your efforts and achievements, you will feel more motivated to face challenges.

We can try these methods to deal with the situation.

When you criticize yourself, be gentle and encouraging. Tell yourself, "I did my best," or "I can learn from this."

Set realistic goals. Perfectionism can be a burden. Moderate perfectionism helps us move forward.

Ask your boss or coworkers for feedback so you know what they expect from you.

Build trust with your leader. Let them know you are willing to learn and work hard to improve.

Remind yourself every day of your strengths and progress.

Professional development: Take courses to improve your job skills and boost your confidence.

We all have to learn and grow, including how to manage stress and anxiety. Your feelings matter, and so do your needs.

It is also important to take care of yourself emotionally and physically. If you need help, professional counseling can help you understand yourself better and learn ways to cope.

You are not alone. You deserve understanding and support.

I hope this helps. I love you! *^O^*

Hello, You're working hard and trying your best. This isn't easy. Many people want an easy way out. So first, give yourself a break and praise yourself.

You say you have finished a document, but because it was returned, you had to redo it. Your boss approved it and sent it to your colleagues. You were afraid that your colleagues would find mistakes in your document and criticize you. So you corrected it twice and sent it to your boss again. I see a child who is afraid of criticism, afraid of not being liked, and afraid of being a bad child. I don't know if this has been your experience all along. I'm not sure if your colleagues and boss are also the kind of people who can't afford to make mistakes. But I want to say that you can allow yourself to make mistakes.

The world is full of mistakes. This is why there is Murphy's Law, accidents, and humans. All of these are the result of imperfection. We cannot be liked by everyone. Even if you do something close to "perfect," people who don't like you will still find fault. But you can like and forgive yourself. Be tolerant of yourself. Some people like details, while others care about the framework. Some people are more objective, while others are more subjective. So it may be that your colleagues and boss will "tolerate you" and "forgive you," or they may not. But that's not the most important thing. The important thing is whether you can be tolerant and forgive yourself. Give yourself a chance to learn from your mistakes and do better.

The world is a reflection of yourself. Your panic is not just about what others think, but also what you imagine they think. We've considered a bad outcome, but it might not be as bad as we think. I recommend the book "The Courage to Be Disliked." It's not directly related, but I hope it helps you accept yourself.

Hello, question asker! I'm Jiang 61, and I'm here to help.

Thank you so much for trusting us and being willing to tell us your confusion so that we can help you. It's totally understandable to feel anxious every day when you demand perfection from yourself. We're here to help! Let's discuss your situation together.

1. Introduction

1️⃣, anxiety

You said, "Ever since I started working, I've been feeling anxious every day. It's really tough for me to communicate with my leader, and I always demand perfection from myself."

Reading your words, I can tell that work has been really stressful for you. It seems like you're having trouble communicating with your leader. It's understandable! We all have high standards for ourselves, and it's hard to meet everyone else's expectations. I can see how that would make you feel anxious.

2️⃣, example

You said, "For example, you worked on a document for an hour and thought the time was OK. You showed it to your leader, who thought it wasn't good enough, so you worked on it for three hours as instructed. Then there were still typos, and you were in a hurry. Part of the content was based on someone else's work, and some issues didn't seem to be resolved. Your leader gave it a quick look, thought it was OK, and then sent it to the group. I'm so scared, and it's even said to be my work. Everyone knows I made a mistake, and everyone knows I'm not careful anymore. I'm so anxious."

Documents

You spent an hour putting your heart and soul into it, following the leader's instructions to a T. But, sadly, the leader wasn't fully satisfied. You spent another three hours polishing it, but there were still a few typos here and there. You kept at it, revising as others did, but some issues remained unresolved. However, the leader took a quick look and felt it was good enough, so he posted it in the big group.

Oh, you're feeling a bit nervous, aren't you?

It's totally understandable to be concerned about how everyone will react afterwards. We've all been there! It's natural to be afraid that if there is a problem with the document, everyone will know that you did it and will realize that you are not careful in your work. It's only human!

3️⃣. Oh dear, there are problems again!

You said, "Then I fixed the typos and added content, re-sent it to the leader, but there was a problem with the format. The leader didn't say anything, but I fixed it and resent it. I'm just so anxious that the leader will think I'm unreliable!"

Oh dear, the problem has arisen again!

You worked so hard to make the document as perfect as it could be! You fixed the typos you found and added the content you needed to add. But after sending it to your supervisor, you noticed that the file format was incorrect.

You're feeling a bit worried, sweetie.

Your perfectionist thinking made you modify the file format and send it to your leader again, even though your leader didn't say anything. I can see how that would make you worry that your leader will think you are unreliable because of your repeated mistakes. I'm here to tell you that your leader will see that you are reliable and won't think that at all.

2. What causes anxiety?

1️⃣, professionalism

Professionalism

Professionalism is all about the basic qualities that practitioners develop through social education, self-cultivation, and labor practices. It plays an important role in professional activities, and it includes professional ethics, professional thinking, professional habits, and professional skills.

Professional skills

From what the questioner has shared, it's clear that they have some great professional qualities, a strong work ethic, a sense of professionalism, and good professional habits. It's just that their vocational training hasn't kept up, which has led to some challenges in the document preparation process and a few mistakes here and there. It's understandable that this has caused some worry and anxiety.

2️⃣. Care about others' evaluation

And don't forget to care!

When we care about something, it means we pay attention to it, we pay heed to it, we care about it, and we value it. It also means we value other people and their opinions.

It's so important to care about what others think!

In relationships with others, we care about what they think because we want to know where we stand and what we're doing right.

3️⃣. Family life is influenced by the environment.

I can see how your upbringing might have led you to be concerned about what others think.

The original family

The original family is the one you're born into and raised in. It's so important to understand that the atmosphere, traditions, customs, and interactions between family members all influence how children will behave in their new family in the future.

The influence of life

It's totally normal for the questioner to care about what others think. It's not something that developed later, but is closely related to the habits of life in the original family. I guess the questioner was often compared, criticized, and blamed in the original family, so it's understandable that they're used to paying attention to what others think of them, being cautious in everything they do, having a strong sense of inferiority, and lacking self-confidence.

This is just how our original family influences us.

What can I do?

1️⃣, vocational training

Vocational training is a great way to learn new skills and gain confidence.

Vocational training is a great way to learn and grow your technical business knowledge and practical operational skills. It's perfect for anyone looking to develop their vocational skills, whether you're preparing for employment or already in the workforce.

We've got some great targeted training coming up!

Now that we've identified our vocational skills, we can focus on training in the corresponding skills. It's a great way to improve our technical and operational knowledge and practical ability in our position or corresponding work, and gain recognition from everyone!

2️⃣, boost self-confidence

We all need a little boost of confidence sometimes, don't we?

Confidence is knowing yourself, believing in yourself, and being convinced of your abilities. You deeply believe that you can achieve something through your own efforts and realize the goals you pursue. And you know you can do it!

Let's work on boosting your confidence!

It's totally normal to feel this way sometimes! We all have things we're not so good at, and that's okay. The good news is that we're learning more about ourselves and our abilities, and we're making choices that align with what we enjoy, what we're good at, and what we can do well.

When you're working on a task assigned by your leader, it's really important to make sure you understand what they want, think carefully about how you're going to do it, and then let them know when you've finished. It's also a great idea to double-check that you've done everything right before you submit it. And remember, if you do a great job, you'll feel really proud of yourself and your achievements will boost your confidence!

3️⃣, effective communication

Let's make sure we're all on the same page! Effective communication is key.

Communication is all about sharing information with someone and hoping they'll respond in a way that makes you happy. If you succeed in getting your message across, you've achieved effective communication!

Communication is all about sending and receiving messages, both verbal and non-verbal. It's often the case that the non-verbal part is more important than the verbal part. Effective communication is really important when it comes to building and maintaining relationships at work, as well as in our wider social lives.

Let's dive into the steps to effective communication!

I'm so happy to share with you the four steps to effective communication!

Step 1: Let's start with expressing feelings, not emotions.

Step 2: It's so important to express what you want, not what you don't want. Let's make sure we express that we are angry, not that we are angry about expressing it.

Step 3: It's so important to express your needs, not just your complaints. We all know how hard it can be to know what someone else wants, so let's make it easy for each other!

Step 4: Let's look to the future together! Express where you want to go, not complain about where you are. Focus on the end result, not on the event itself.

Effective communication is super helpful in expressing our feelings, but it's also great for understanding what others are trying to say, especially when it comes to leaders. If we don't understand something, we can always ask for clarification or try repeating back what we heard to make sure we're on the same page.

This will help us avoid any misunderstandings!

Questioner, I really admire your serious and responsible attitude at work. If I were your leader, I would love to have someone with your work ethic on my team! As for the existing problems, I will give you the time, space, and opportunity to grow so that you can grow through introspection and learning.

I bet your leader is the same! As long as you're willing to put in the work, he or she will be there to support you and see you grow. Believe in yourself!

And finally, I just want to wish the original poster all the very best for a happy working life!

First of all, understand that everyone is prone to making mistakes, including your leader. And guess what? That's totally normal!

The good news is that the problems you encounter at work are very common situations. So, there is no need to be overly anxious!

I've got some great suggestions to help you reduce anxiety!

Embrace your imperfections! Nobody's perfect, and it's totally normal to make mistakes. The best part is, you can learn from your mistakes and keep getting better!

It's so important to communicate effectively with your manager. When you do, make sure you clearly express your concerns and areas where you need help. If you feel that your manager's requests are unreasonable, don't be afraid to express your views. Just make sure you do so in a proper and respectful manner.

Time management: If a task is going to take a lot of time, don't worry! Just communicate with your manager in advance to explain the situation and ask for more time or resources to complete it.

Check details! Before submitting a document, you can ask a colleague to check it for you, or use some kind of assistance (such as a spell checker) to reduce errors.

Record feedback: Write down your manager's feedback so you can avoid making the same mistakes next time — and make even bigger strides!

Self-affirmation: Don't deny your abilities because of one or a few mistakes. Celebrate your efforts and progress, and give yourself some positive affirmation!

Professional development: If you feel that you are having difficulty at work, consider attending relevant training or workshops to improve your professional skills and efficiency. It's a great way to boost your confidence and get the recognition you deserve!

Healthy living is a great way to reduce anxiety! Make sure you get enough rest and work, exercise moderately, and eat a healthy diet.

In short, everyone has a period of adjustment. But don't worry! With time and experience, you will become more and more accustomed to the work environment, and your anxiety will gradually subside. Give yourself some time and patience, and believe that you can do better!

Hello! I know you're stressed about work. I'm here to help.

While striving for perfection is good, sometimes it can become a burden that affects our emotions and self-perception. Let's find ways to reduce this anxiety.

First, know that "perfection" is a subjective and unattainable goal. In the workplace, it's more practical to pursue "appropriateness" and "efficiency." Most people in the workplace struggle to communicate with superiors.

Your leader's feedback is a chance to grow. Mistakes and imperfections are part of the learning process.

Here are some suggestions that may help:

Don't worry about making mistakes. Learn from them. Everyone makes mistakes, and the key is to move on quickly.

Break big tasks into small milestones and report your progress often. This helps you and your leader stay on track.

Be proactive. Share your work and ask your supervisor for feedback. Every piece of feedback is an opportunity to improve.

Use tools to help you, such as grammar checkers, to reduce basic errors. Also, set aside enough time to review your work.

Take time to relax. Exercise, reading, and socializing can help relieve stress and anxiety.

Read the book "Doing a Good Job" by Tuo Buhua. The author shares strategies to help professionals improve work efficiency, maintain mental health, and find a balance between work and personal growth.

You can overcome your obstacles and become an outstanding employee! Go for it!

Hello, my name is Ying Keyu Xuan.

I can appreciate your feelings. It's understandable that facing the pressure of work and the expectations of your leader can make people feel anxious and uneasy.

You have mentioned that you have been feeling anxious every day since you started working. You have also said that communicating with your supervisor is really difficult for you and that you always demand perfection from yourself. For example, if you finish a document in an hour and think that the time is acceptable, but your supervisor says it's not, you will often spend three hours doing it again as he or she has requested.

From this, it can be seen that you have high standards and strive for excellence. However, even the most careful individuals can make mistakes. In this case, it's important to recognize that everyone can make mistakes and to focus on how we respond to them and learn from them.

You have already taken the initiative to revise the document based on your manager's feedback, which is a commendable step.

You also mentioned that you were concerned about sending a document with typos to a large group of people, as you were worried that it might reflect poorly on your attention to detail and your boss might perceive you as unreliable. I would like to reassure you that a minor mistake at work does not necessarily indicate a lack of care or ability.

Mistakes are an inevitable part of the work process. With timely corrections, they don't pose a significant issue. After all, nobody is perfect.

Furthermore, you took the initiative to correct typos and fix formatting in a timely manner. It is likely that your leaders and colleagues are aware of this, so there is no need to be overly concerned about the potential impact on their impression of you.

For future work, you might consider planning in advance. Before starting a task, you could try to refine every step and allow enough time for repeated checks.

In terms of communication, you can clearly express your needs and questions to your leader. If there is something you are unsure about, seeking help or feedback in a timely manner is always an option. Maintaining confidence in the workplace is essential.

It is important to have confidence in your abilities. Even if you make a mistake, you have the capacity to correct it and learn from it. When faced with urgent tasks, it can be helpful to take a deep breath and stay calm. This can help to reduce mistakes and improve work efficiency.

We can all benefit from learning from our mistakes. It's important not to be too hard on yourself, to stay positive, and to believe that you can gradually overcome these difficulties. You've got this!

I hope my answer is helpful to you. I wish you well!

You are meticulous and make corrections promptly. Despite occasional minor errors, this does not reflect unreliability.

Even the most accomplished individuals have made missteps during their formative years.

During the initial stages of one's professional development, it is understandable to make minor mistakes. However, these experiences should prompt a commitment to future diligence and attention to detail to avoid similar issues in the future.

It is natural to feel self-blame and anxiety when faced with such situations. However, it is important to understand that making mistakes is not necessarily an indication of unreliability. Refusing to allow yourself to make mistakes could, in fact, be a more unreliable approach.

Do your colleagues make mistakes?

Did your colleagues also develop gradually over time?

Has anyone ever been perfect from the outset?

You have high standards for the quality of your work, which is commendable. However, if you demand perfection from yourself, you may experience undue pressure.

It is not uncommon to make minor mistakes from time to time. As long as these are identified and rectified in a timely manner, they should not have a significant impact on the work.

Learning to accept your own imperfections may be challenging and require time. I hope that in this process, you will be patient with yourself and more tolerant and understanding.

Perhaps we can acknowledge that we are not always reliable and that it is not feasible to maintain a state of constant vigilance and perform all tasks perfectly.

However, we are not unreliable on a consistent basis. For the majority of the time, we conduct ourselves in a serious and careful manner, and it is not uncommon to experience an occasional lapse in judgment.

The questioner expressed gratitude for the present and thanked the individual for meeting with them.

From your description, I can discern a certain level of inner tension, anxiety, and worry. Please accept my best wishes for a speedy recovery.

Let's discuss this topic together.

1. Identifying and understanding your emotions

In your description, you mentioned that you have been experiencing anxiety since you started working. You also stated that communicating with your leader is challenging and that you are expected to be perfect. Is it that your current leader makes a lot of demands on you, does not see or respond to your efforts, and is not particularly satisfied with the documents you produce, which often require revision or redoing? This could contribute to feelings of nervousness and anxiety. Alternatively, is it that you feel nervous and anxious when you receive feedback from others, even if it is in a joking manner?

Identify the situation you are currently in and acknowledge the presence of anxiety. Locate the physical sensation of anxiety within your body, describe its texture, size, and color, and identify an alternative representation, such as a doll image, that you can use to replace the anxiety associated with work.

When the anxiety occurs again, allow yourself ten minutes to find a quiet space. Take a moment to identify any similar experiences you have had in the past that have caused you anxiety.

Please describe the situation in detail, including who else was present, what was said, and your own emotional state at the time. Was this anxiety your own, or was it instilled by your caregivers during your upbringing?

Once you have identified the source of your anxiety and acknowledged it, you will be better equipped to manage it effectively.

It is of no consequence if someone notices typos and formatting errors in your document. What are you concerned about?

Is it unavoidable that the situation you are concerned about will occur? If so, what measures can you take to resolve the issue or mitigate its impact?

This process will help you to manage your inner anxiety and gain a sense of stability.

2. Accept and embrace yourself.

Even if there are individual typos in the documents, some issues have not been fully determined, and some content is based on the ideas of others, and there are problems with the format, these are common issues encountered in the work process. They are easily understood by all.

It is not necessary to demand perfection from yourself. Demanding perfection can cause undue stress and increase the likelihood of errors.

Allow yourself to acknowledge these missteps for the time being, and refrain from undue self-criticism. Concurrently, take a moment to remind yourself to maintain heightened attention moving forward.

This approach will enable you to conserve the energy that would otherwise be expended on internal conflict, allowing you to apply it to future improvements.

3. It is important to communicate your emotions consistently.

It is possible that the leader is overly perfectionistic and therefore provides feedback indicating that improvements are needed. When you have the opportunity, you can communicate with the leader about your emotional feelings and concerns in a clear and consistent manner.

This kind of communication may prompt him to reflect on his words and actions. You can also inquire with him about his level of attention to the details of the document. Alternatively, he may recognize your abilities and intend to provide more opportunities for you to hone your skills and enhance your performance.

It is possible to establish a consistent channel of communication with your leader to gain insight into the situation. This approach can foster closer relationships and alleviate internal stress and anxiety.

When you feel nervous at work and feel the need to demand perfection from yourself, remind yourself to relax, take a deep breath, and focus your attention on your body's sensations. This will help you to avoid becoming overwhelmed by your thoughts and emotions, which can lead to increased feelings of nervousness and anxiety.

Additionally, incorporating more exercise into your routine can help release built-up emotions. Allocating time each day for personal activities, pursuing interests, and relaxation is also beneficial.

Should you require assistance in identifying the root cause of your anxiety and in developing a plan for healing, you may wish to consider engaging the services of a professional counselor.

I hope this information is helpful to you. I wish you the best in your endeavors.