Every time I encounter a new task, I feel anxious and lack confidence. What should I do?

Good morning, I understand your concerns. There is nothing wrong with striving for perfection, but it is important to ensure that this does not become excessive pressure and anxiety. I have provided some suggestions below to help alleviate this situation:

1. Accept Imperfection: It is important to recognize that no individual is perfect, including those considered industry leaders. Each person has their own unique process of growth, and this is true for you as well.

2. Focus on your own progress. Avoid comparing yourself to others. Instead, concentrate on your own growth and improvement. After each attempt at a new task, evaluate your performance to identify your strengths and areas for improvement.

3. Practice and experience: Apply more of what you have learned in practice, and gain confidence through hands-on experience. Start with simple tasks and gradually increase the complexity.

4. Adjust your mindset: Shift your focus from the fear of failure to the expectation of success. Believe in your abilities and your capacity to improve through continuous learning and practice.

5. Communicate with others: Discussing your experiences and feelings with your teacher, friends, or other peers who have faced similar tasks may help you feel more balanced and confident.

It is also important to allow yourself sufficient time to adjust your mindset and to be patient with yourself. Changing your mindset and relieving anxiety takes time, so it is important not to be too hard on yourself. You have already demonstrated your commitment to excellence and believe that you will continue to improve. Have you tried gradually adjusting your mindset in practice? How did it go?

I'm going to give you some detailed suggestions to help you alleviate the anxiety and lack of confidence that comes with a new task.

1. Recognize and accept your emotions.

It's normal to feel nervous and anxious when faced with a new task. Everyone does. It's especially common when you're trying something for the first time or taking on a big responsibility.

Recognizing this will help you be less judgmental of your emotions, which will reduce your feelings of anxiety.

Break down the task and create an action plan.

Break new tasks down into small steps and make a practical plan for each step. Implement the plan step by step, and you will gain a sense of accomplishment with each step completed. This will enhance your confidence.

3. Confront perfectionism.

Perfectionism can drive you to strive for excellence, but it can also become a shackle on your self-confidence. Adjust your definition of perfection and allow yourself to make mistakes. Learn from the process.

Set high standards and realistic, achievable goals. Understand that completion is more important than perfection, especially in the early stages.

4. Be well prepared, but accept imperfection.

When giving lectures or developing courses, you must prepare thoroughly. However, you cannot master all the knowledge or skills. Focus on conveying the most important information, constantly improve your presentation skills and expertise, and understand that your audience and students do not expect you to know everything.

5. **Practical exercises and feedback**:

Conduct simulation exercises in a safe environment and ask friends or colleagues for constructive feedback. Practice and improve continuously to boost your self-confidence.

6. Self-affirmation and positive mental suggestion:

You have the knowledge and skills to succeed. Use them. Review past successes to boost your confidence. Use positive mental suggestions, such as: "I'm well prepared, I can complete this task."

7. Mental adjustment:

Your mother's behavior may have had a profound impact on you, but you have the right to set your own standards and pace. Don't settle for "must be perfect." Set your sights on "continuous growth."

8. Learn stress management.

Practice stress management techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, and yoga. They will help you stay calm and focused in critical moments.

9. Make use of community resources.

Join relevant professional communities. Exchange experiences with other peers, learn from their practices, and seek their encouragement and support.

10. Continuous learning and development is essential.

You must keep learning and improving yourself, but you don't have to solve all problems at once. Focus on your strengths and interests and expand your knowledge and skills.

You can overcome the anxiety and lack of confidence brought about by new tasks by following the above suggestions. You can also change the habit of over-pursuing perfection by paying more attention to growth and progress in the process. Practice will gain you confidence, and every success and progress will pave the way for more solid confidence.

Many people feel anxious and lack confidence when faced with new tasks. This can be caused by fear of the unknown, doubts about abilities, or concerns about failure. There are ways to overcome these negative emotions and approach new challenges more calmly.

We'll talk more about this below.

Anxiety and low self-confidence are caused by patterns that have formed over time. These patterns can be changed. We can overcome these negative emotions by changing our thinking and regulating our emotions.

Cognitive restructuring means looking at our thoughts and trying to see things more positively. For example, when we feel anxious, we can ask ourselves, "What am I afraid of?"

Asking "What can I do to reduce this anxiety?" can help us find ways to solve problems and reduce anxiety.

Secondly, confidence comes from doing things and learning from experience. Before a new task, we can improve our confidence in the following ways:

Planning and goal setting are also key to overcoming anxiety and lack of confidence. Setting clear goals and detailed plans helps us cope with new tasks.

Specifically, we can break down big goals into small ones, then make a plan and timetable to achieve the small goals step by step. This helps us gain control and confidence. We also need to adjust the plan when new tasks arise.

Seeking professional help is also an effective way to solve anxiety and lack of confidence problems. If we cannot get rid of anxiety and lack of confidence, we can seek help from a psychologist or counselor.

They can help us sort out our thoughts and resolve our confusion and frustration so we can better cope with new tasks and unleash our potential.

Anxiety and lack of confidence are normal when facing new tasks. We can overcome these negative emotions through cognitive restructuring, experience accumulation, planning, and seeking professional support. Believing in our ability to cope with new challenges, learn, and grow is important for success in new environments.

We hope these suggestions help you overcome anxiety and lack of confidence when facing new tasks so you can achieve more and grow.

You may have learned to be perfect from your mother. You may think that not being perfect means you're a failure and a waste of time. You may also think that other people's opinions matter more than your own.

This kind of thinking can motivate you to improve, but it also puts a lot of pressure on you. It can stop you from trying new things or taking risks.

Mothers can make kids anxious by setting high standards. Social forces also influence this. Parents, teachers, and social media all push for perfect results.

It's hard to feel happy and joyful when you're doing well or making progress. You'll always compare yourself to someone better or focus on what's wrong with you. This is a cycle of negation. To break it, try moving from negation to acceptance and from focusing on results to focusing on the process.

In life, we can pursue a "relatively good" situation, accept reality and our limitations, and allow for fluctuating development. Even if we receive negative feedback, we don't have to immediately label ourselves as "I did poorly." Instead, we should look at it from a different perspective: what parts did I do well? Individual negative comments are inevitable, and no one can always get 100% praise. If it is really flawless, we will lose the direction for improvement.

I've seen an exercise for developing a "good enough" mindset. I'll share it here:

1) Think about what you want to improve. Write 3-5 items, in order of importance.

2) Imagine being good enough in each area.

3) What can you do first to achieve this?

Pay attention to your thoughts and actions.

Hello!

You and I have both studied psychology, and you have been in the field of psychology, constantly recharging yourself and learning, which is so inspiring and a great example for me to follow!

You mentioned that when you encounter a new task, it can sometimes make you feel nervous or anxious. You said you are a perfectionist, and I think it may be because you demand a lot of yourself and expect perfection—and that's great!

Your mother always strives for perfection in everything she does. She demands perfection of herself and of you, so now you demand perfection of yourself as well. You are so demanding of yourself in everything, you cannot accept uncertainty, you don't want to fail, you won't accept failure. This is great because it means you're ambitious and you want to succeed. However, it can also mean you're a bit too hard on yourself. Try to be more flexible and give yourself a break when things don't go to plan.

However, we are all ordinary people, not gods, so what is perfect? And what is invincible?

Psychology is an exciting field that has seen rapid growth in recent years. There's always something new to learn and discover!

You can make a plan for yourself! Schedule it in proportion to the time you want to spend learning, practicing, and resting and relaxing. Follow the plan, combine work and rest, and be methodical. This kind of slow and steady progress is fast! Is this the kind of work and living habit you like?

Psychology is about so much more than just absorbing knowledge and constant practice. It's also about self-growth! While learning, we have the incredible opportunity to constantly examine and reflect on ourselves. Just as in your question, there is a lot of self-observation and thinking, which will lead to self-awareness and is a necessary process for self-growth.

The focus of a new task is the word "new." And that's a good thing! When we take on a new task, we are always excited for a while and then a little worried for a while.

We are thrilled to have the opportunity to demonstrate our improved business skills and reach the next level. While we have gained valuable knowledge and abilities, we are eager to put them into practice and see how far we can truly go.

They recognize it, and we can too!

Who knows? Maybe, after a few years, you'll be totally at ease giving lectures and answering questions. You might even find yourself looking forward to new challenges!

Anxiety is our path to growth! Without it, we wouldn't push ourselves to reach new heights.

Your anxiety is your key to success! It will help you break free from many difficulties and gradually get closer to success and perfection. We can only try to get as close to perfection as possible, but we cannot become perfect.

So, admit your anxiety, accept your anxiety, and look at your anxiety. That's complete acceptance of yourself! And when you accept yourself and believe in yourself, you become the best version of yourself!

The world and I love you, and you must love yourself too!

Hello! I'm so happy to answer your question.

It's so lovely that we both majored in psychology! I admire you for not going into a psychology-related career full-time after graduation. I'm so impressed by your persistence in continuing to work in this industry.

Let's get back to the topic at hand. Psychology has so much to offer, and it's a field that's always evolving. There are new theoretical perspectives popping up all the time! I noticed you mentioned two things: a lack of self-confidence and perfectionism. I think these two things are connected. You strive to do things perfectly, and when you can't meet your own expectations, it's easy to lose confidence in yourself.

I don't know if you've tried lowering your self-expectations. You can encourage yourself a little more every day, and magnify the good things you do. When you're anxious, you might want to try meditation, going for a walk, or listening to music. These methods have been quite helpful for me. I noticed that you mentioned your mother, and that she also has a perfectionist personality. You've also noticed this, and perhaps it's your subconscious imitating her. Your mother's influence on you is still very deep, and you've internalized her behavior. You have this self-awareness, and I think you're great. So the most urgent task is for you to try to get rid of this internalization. Asking yourself to be too perfect will cause you even more stress, which is not right. And absolute perfection does not exist.

I think you'd really benefit from reading some books on self-acceptance. It's also really important to find a way to relax that suits you, because I can tell you're feeling a bit stressed at the moment. Try to relax yourself first. While it's important to improve your professional knowledge, learning is a long-term process. You're the most important thing, so make sure you take care of yourself. You're great, I believe you'll definitely shine in the field of psychology in the future. I wish you the best.

Hi there,

After reading your description, I can see how you're feeling.

First of all, you wrote in your description: "I am a perfectionist, and so was my mother. She always pursued perfection in everything. When I was a child and I did something wrong, my mother could easily dredge up the past and scold me for a long time. Her intention was perhaps to hope that I would correct all my bad behaviors. As a result, it seems that I have now internalized my mother's standards. Before doing anything, I always want to make sure that everything is ready and I am very confident before taking action. I can't quite accept the emergence of uncertainties. I always feel that it will get out of control and disappoint people. I feel very sorry for other people's time and energy to come and consult or learn.

From what you've said, it seems like you need to work on your personality and inner self the most. You're also a psychology student, so you should know a lot about how emotions affect individuals and those around them. In life, at work, etc., no one will mention the vague term "emotion management." I believe you should have learned about this course during your studies.

In reality, the most challenging thing is that emotional changes can come from the inside or the outside.

There are also some things you can't control, both inside and outside. That's why it's important to remind yourself to adjust.

It's not just external influences, but also past experiences. The key point here is what you wrote in this description: "My mother can easily dredge up the past and nag me for a long time," and "I am very cautious before taking action, and I can't accept uncertainty very well. I always feel like I'm losing control." These will keep your emotions at an unstable level, preventing you from making progress in certain areas.

Second, you wrote in your description: "Although my teacher always encourages me, saying that other people are not as good as I think, and that the lectures by big names in the videos I watch have been rehearsed and packaged many times. My friends also encourage me, saying, 'Be confident, you've learned enough.'

"Some people who aren't as good as you are already developing their own brands on TikTok." But I always feel like the people around me are just trying to comfort me, and I'm not as good as they think I am.

The paragraph ends with you saying you're a perfectionist. A neutral analysis is that you are one because of your personality. You're skeptical when you hear praise, reputation, support, etc. from others. If you want to adjust, you must first understand that "no one is perfect." It's rare for a person to be almost perfect, let alone perfect.

If you can truly be perfect on your own, you'll be pretty intimidating. People who strive for perfection often have a semi-compulsive personality. They look at their life and ask themselves which things they've done could be considered perfect.

What is perfection? When you hear that you should stand on the shoulders of giants to see the world, it represents the height of your vision, while emotions affect which height you can stand on.

So, how big are you? It's good to accept praise, reputation, support, etc. It gives you a boost of self-confidence. Of course, it can also affect you in a negative way and make you arrogant.

It's important to manage your emotions and work through them.

You also wrote, "Professional knowledge is vast and you can never learn it all. I'm also very conflicted, but I still want to learn as much as possible and gain as much control as possible." When you help someone, you're improving yourself and your understanding of professional knowledge. You need to stand on the shoulders of giants to see the world. That's why helping others is often a way to improve. It's also a way to improve your abilities. Reviewing cases is a kind of progress and the pursuit of perfection.

Nobody can predict what's going to happen next. As long as you can get more than 60% of the way to a goal, it's good enough. That way, you can gradually improve without putting too much pressure on yourself. Learning is endless, which is basically the same as pursuing perfection.

Here are a few suggestions:

1. Emotion management: You need to learn to manage your emotions. This isn't about controlling them, but about letting go and letting go of your obsession with things.

2. Adjust to the shadows of your past. Even though you're a psychologist, your own internal shadows still need other psychologists to help you work through them so you can move on from the past. If you can't move on, you should try to minimize the impact.

3. To be perfect, you need to reflect on yourself. The result of someone who strives for perfection is that they don't know what true perfection is. Perfection is not defined by you, but by someone else.

It's a bit like the chef cooking the meal to suit everyone's taste.

4. You still have to learn the professional knowledge, but if you can't apply it, then reading more professional knowledge is a waste of time.

Just a heads-up, the above content is for reference only.

Hello, question asker. I am Qu Huidong, a psychological counselor who can make images speak.

The questioner stated that they feel nervous and anxious every time they encounter a new task. Despite encouragement and affirmation from others, they still lack confidence. This is likely due to your mother's high expectations during your growth. You have internalized your mother's standards and not allowed yourself to lose control. However, your rational self is not yet strong enough, and you repeatedly lose the battle against your inner mother, which causes serious internal conflict.

The questioner often experiences stress and anxiety when faced with new tasks. I invite them to consider whether they still feel nervous when receiving familiar tasks. How did they manage to complete new tasks with ease despite feeling nervous?

I want to help you affirm your abilities. When you review these successful and smooth scenarios, you will recall them in your mind and pay attention to your body's response. You will notice how you were able to remain stable.

You have achieved all this, and it is all part of you!

There's nothing wrong with being enterprising and inquisitive. Shift the need to "learn more" from satisfying your mother's need to be a "good daughter" to just being yourself. Think of it, and try it. Don't let the invisible resistance drag you down and exhaust you. You don't need to control your thoughts of wanting to learn as much as possible. You're learning, so concentrate on learning. Don't do it for your mother or to catch up with the experts. Do it for yourself.

When you realize that you are once again struggling with a conflict, tell yourself, "I know" this is the requirement of being the perfect mother, and then focus your attention back on the task at hand. This process of "pulling" is different from internal conflict and entanglement. It is a relatively conscious process, where you clearly know what you are doing, which also increases a sense of stability.

You should also seek professional psychological counseling. The mother-daughter dynamic is a common and crucial topic in counseling, and it can be challenging. However, you will establish boundaries and find your voice amidst the confusion.

Best wishes!

Good day, I can see the confusion you are facing right now, and I want to reassure you that I am here to help.

As a result, you experience worry and anxiety when faced with a new task.

Please describe the nature of your concerns and anxieties.

It may be a concern that the quality of your work will not meet the required standard.

This is likely a result of your upbringing.

As a child, you were frequently reprimanded for mistakes, which may have instilled a belief in your subconscious that you are unable to succeed.

The next time you encounter the limiting belief of "I can't," you can challenge it by reminding yourself that everyone makes mistakes and that growth involves learning from them.

As a first step, I suggest that you get up tomorrow morning and say these words three times out loud in the mirror: "I'm the best. I can definitely do the new task."

It may be necessary to address the underlying issues that are affecting your ability to cope with the situation at hand.

It is recommended that you seek professional psychological counseling for this matter.

The counselor is a trained professional who can provide more effective guidance.

I hope that the issue you are experiencing can be resolved in an effective and timely manner.

At this time, I am unable to offer any further suggestions.

I hope my above answer is helpful and inspiring to you, the questioner. As the answerer, I am committed to studying hard every day.

Best regards, Yixinli Team

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