Every time I share learning resources, I feel quite unbalanced, and it's quite contradictory. What should I do?

This is an insightful observation; it would be beneficial to make sharing a habit. I am reflecting on this myself.

Please refer to the initial sentence I have written. It is both perspicacious and succinct, and it is my contention that sharing should become a habit.

Individuals possess their own unique way of life and principles. In this world, one may opt to be generous or stingy, to forgive or to be angry, to share or to enjoy alone.

Each choice reveals one's personal character and attitude toward life. It is therefore unnecessary to debate the relative merits of right and wrong.

Let us return to the issue that is causing you concern today.

If you feel a genuine sense of fulfillment from sharing these learning resources with your roommates and are motivated to do so regardless of their response, I believe you will experience a profound sense of purpose and a sense of presence.

If one is compelled to share learning resources due to the actions of one's roommate or the desire to avoid losing face in the presence of the other individual, and there is no alternative but to share the resources in question, then a sense of internal resistance is likely to emerge. This phenomenon bears resemblance to the experience of children, who may feel distress when repeatedly urged by their parents to engage in specific activities, such as going to bed or completing homework, during the night. Despite the discomfort, the child may be forced to comply with the parental request.

The experience of performing an action that one does not wish to undertake is arguably the most irksome, and the sensation of being constrained is truly indescribable.

If one is adamant about not sharing, one should adhere to one's principles regardless of external pressure. However, if one is concerned about maintaining one's reputation and is unable to renege on one's commitment, then sharing is an option. It is crucial to recognize that sharing resources is a matter of affection for one's roommate. Refraining from sharing is simply a matter of obligation. One's decision is not inherently wrong, but it is important to remain composed when others treat the shared resources differently. What is shared is for the benefit of all, and how others utilize it is their prerogative. It is uneconomical to internalize the consequences of others' actions.

One might posit that a disposition to allow sunshine into one's heart would facilitate the act of sharing as a matter of course.

Furthermore, it is my sincere hope that you will mature into a perceptive and carefree young adult, with aspirations and ambitions during your formative years, and that you will not allow these qualities to be squandered.

In light of the aforementioned considerations, it is evident that the current emotional state of the questioner is somewhat contradictory.

On the one hand, there is a perception that sharing study resources with roommates is the appropriate course of action. This perception is influenced by the fact that roommates have expressed a desire for such sharing, and by the advice of a parent who has suggested that people should reciprocate favors.

It appears that you are concerned about the potential consequences of not sharing your learning resources.

Conversely, you perceive a certain imbalance in the sharing of your learning resources. The materials you disseminated were those you had selected for your own study and for which you had invested significant effort in organizing. Your roommates were not required to expend any effort to benefit from your efforts, and they did not demonstrate any appreciation or appreciation for the resources you shared. This situation gives rise to feelings of discontent.

Prior to addressing the substance of your inquiry, I wish to offer you a commendation for your exemplary qualities as a child: your passion for learning, your proactive nature, and your willingness to assist others.

The issue at hand is that each instance of sharing learning resources is imbalanced. How should one address this conflicted psychology?

It is recommended that you respect your feelings. This will facilitate a deeper understanding of the conflicting emotions and enable more appropriate coping mechanisms to be employed.

In the present circumstances, it appears that you are reluctant to share learning resources with your roommate, despite your apparent willingness to do so. However, you also express concern that if you do not share, you may encounter circumstances that you are not prepared to tolerate. Consequently, you appear to be suppressing your reluctance and continuing to share, which is causing you discomfort and distress.

It would be beneficial to inquire as to the underlying motivations behind these sentiments. What are the underlying reasons for these feelings?

What course of action would you prefer to take? What are your thoughts on pursuing this course of action in the manner you desire?

One might inquire as to how one's roommate would react to such an occurrence. Additionally, one might consider their own feelings regarding this version of themselves.

What are the factors that contribute to one's sense of comfort? What are the means by which one might achieve this state of comfort?

If one were to be queried as to the rationale behind one's actions, what form of explanation would one proffer in response?

The aforementioned questions are designed to facilitate discourse and encourage introspection regarding one's personal sense of comfort. It is my hope that they prove to be a valuable contribution to the ongoing discussion.

I wish you the best of luck!

Good day, my name is Yiya Shu, and I am pleased to be of assistance in addressing this issue.

The act of sharing resources may appear to be a relatively straightforward matter, but it often encompasses a number of intricate issues. When these issues remain unresolved, they can give rise to feelings of unease and distress. It is therefore important to take a step back and identify the underlying challenges associated with sharing learning resources. By doing so, it may help to gain clarity and insight.

Firstly, it is hoped that the questioner will become aware of the situation, observe it with curiosity, and feel it. Was the initial desire to share learning resources truly voluntary? Why is it important for the questioner to become aware of the situation?

It is not uncommon for individuals to believe they are willing to do something when, in fact, their willingness is not as pure as they perceive it to be. When you initially expressed interest in sharing learning resources, was your motivation driven by a genuine desire to collaborate, or was it influenced by the belief in reciprocity that your mother once taught you?

If your mother's belief in reciprocity influenced you from the outset, it suggests that your initial motivation for sharing was not purely altruistic, but rather a strategic move to prompt your roommate to reciprocate in other ways.

You believe that if you share your resources, your colleague will reciprocate in some form.

However, after sharing resources with your roommate, you have not received the expected reciprocation. They have simply benefited from your resources without offering anything in return. This has created an imbalance in your perception.

To some extent, your roommate has not followed the "give and take" social interaction guidelines that you have always followed in your heart, which has caused an imbalance in your emotional state and is the root cause of your difficulties.

What is the best way to adjust and solve this situation?

I present the questioner with two options and allow them to select the one that aligns better with their current capabilities.

The first method is to learn to adjust the social norm of "reciprocity."

The questioner has been influenced by her mother and has consistently applied this rule, but its efficacy is contingent upon the adherence and recognition of this rule by the other party. For individuals lacking this awareness and habit, they will not adhere to it as expected. Therefore, it is essential to recognize the limitations of this rule in interpersonal interactions and adapt accordingly, recognizing that one rule cannot be universally applied to all interpersonal situations and relationships.

In light of the above, it is advisable to refrain from sharing resources when the other party does not reciprocate. This will help to avoid any feelings of resentment or imbalance.

The second approach is to align the other person with your principles.

If you wish to maintain the reciprocity rule you have followed for many years, but would like others to adhere to it, it is essential to incorporate them into your established framework. For instance, in a sharing activity, you could inform your colleagues in the dormitory that you have shared numerous resources with them and request feedback in return. It is crucial to communicate your expectations and guidelines clearly.

Naturally, once a suggestion has been made, there is no guarantee that the other party will adhere to the proposed terms. They may feel that they do not wish to enter into these rules of interaction with you, and that your sharing is simply a matter of course. In such a situation, it is important to recognise when it is no longer appropriate to share resources and to learn from the experience. This will help you to identify that these roommates are not the kind of people who can follow your rules of reciprocity. In future, you can save yourself the trouble of investing energy in sharing resources for free with these people and protect your own interests by withdrawing your own contributions.

These two methods can be applied flexibly according to future circumstances.

In conclusion, it is essential to evaluate any proposed course of action thoroughly before proceeding. For instance, when sharing resources, it is crucial to consider whether you are willing to continue doing so if the other party does not reciprocate. If you are not, it is advisable to refrain from sharing from the outset. Otherwise, you may experience feelings of hurt and resentment when your efforts are not acknowledged.

Furthermore, if you share resources without expecting reciprocity, you will not be adversely affected if the other party does not reciprocate.

These suggestions are crucial to consider.

I hope that my combing has provided you with some insight.

Hello, dear child!

I'm Yi Ming, your heart exploration coach!

Guess what? We all may have such a conflict of emotions!

On the one hand, you think and act this way, but on the other hand, you have conflicting thoughts.

I would absolutely love to share my understanding with you!

I really hope it will be of some small inspiration to you!

1. There is absolutely nothing wrong with sharing! You should definitely give to those in need.

Reciprocity and sharing in general make us feel like we are willing to give, and they often lead to better interpersonal relationships!

Guess what! Almost no one dislikes a person who loves to share!

You've done some great research on this yourself, and you've also invested a lot of time and energy into it.

When we share it out, it makes this collection and organization more valuable!

We feel so good when we give!

But if he just casually mentions it to his roommate and doesn't cherish or make good use of it, we can stop sharing next time.

Because in his eyes, what you share may not be considered a sacrifice.

And the best part is, if we share with people in need, he will save a lot of time and will thank you from the bottom of his heart!

Who knows—maybe he'll show you in other ways!

At this point, we know that our relationship is getting better and better, and we can also say that we are getting what we need!

2. Try to look at it from a cooperative perspective — it'll be worth it!

If you want to make your relationship with your roommate comfortable and carefree, then adopt a cooperative perspective!

For example, if you share resources for exams and competitions, your roommate will need them too!

Then we can express our needs!

For example, what can your roommate do to make your life easier?

A cooperative relationship is the best way to ensure long-term health and development!

"My roommate still plays his own games, and I still feel very unbalanced. But I'm working on it!

"Every discomfort we feel is worth our attention!

Just giving without getting anything in return won't lead to a good relationship. So, let's make sure we're getting something in return! That way, we'll have a great relationship and feel balanced.

So if we can't find a suitable way to cooperate for the time being, there's still a way we can share!

It's time to establish our own boundaries!

Say yes with a smile and say no with kindness but also firmness.

Whenever you want to do something, just remember this saying and go for it!

Sharing willingly is the absolute best way to have a great relationship!

Mr. Huang Qituan wrote an incredible book called "How Others Treat You Is What You Teach Them."

When we feel a little bit of imbalance or dissatisfaction with our roommates, we can actually communicate with them!

All relationships are conspiracies, and we get to learn how to protect our own boundaries!

Absolutely! You can definitely try to look at sharing from more perspectives.

For example, even though your roommate hasn't expressed his gratitude, his willingness to study with you has been a great motivator for us and has really helped us to learn. It's been really meaningful for us to share this experience with you!

Just share these!

Wishing you the very best!

Indeed, it is not uncommon to experience such ambivalence, particularly during one's college years. Some individuals pursue higher education with the intention of personal growth and development, while others may be more inclined to engage in less constructive pursuits.

There is no inherent problem with sharing. In some cases, sharing can elicit feelings of happiness, whereas in others, it can also give rise to feelings of conflict.

During my tenure at the university, I was inclined to be somewhat indolent, yet I would assiduously study at the conclusion of the semester, as I was disinclined to fail any courses. Thereafter, I would collate the notes and salient points of the subject in which I excelled into a document, which I would then forward to my roommate. I would then solicit my roommate's insights regarding the subject in which I was less proficient. My roommate was amenable to this arrangement, as I perceived that it would foster a collaborative approach to our studies within the dormitory.

I distinctly recall that at the conclusion of the initial semester of my sophomore year, there was a course that was widely regarded as challenging. I was able to comprehend it, organize it, and share it with my roommates, just as I had done previously. I had already simplified it considerably, directly equating it to the scoring points and so forth. On the eve of the examination, someone approached me to inquire about some of the questions. When I was explaining it, I inquired as to whether there were any questions about which I was uncertain, and proceeded to address them. One of them did not attend, and after I concluded, I proceeded to pack my belongings, as I was scheduled to depart the following day following the examination.

As a result, the roommate who had not attended the lecture requested an explanation. I inquired as to the specific aspects of the material with which she was uncertain. Having previously committed to memory the questions and the pages of the textbook where the essential information was located, I believed I could simply provide an overview of the material. However, she indicated that she remained uncertain about the material. I reflected on my efforts to convey the essential information and questioned her ability to comprehend the material.

Furthermore, she requested that I reiterate the information. I promptly informed her that her lack of attention during my initial explanation was unacceptable. Following this, the atmosphere in our dormitory became noticeably strained. After I had completed my packing, I attempted to calm the situation by inquiring about the specific areas where she had encountered difficulty. The subsequent day, following the examination, my roommates collectively advised me that it was inadvisable to have gone over the questions with her. It was evident that she was seeking such assistance, yet your demeanor did not facilitate a productive interaction.

I informed them that it was inconsequential, given that they had already concluded their discussion.

Indeed, they regard you as a learner and are keen to provide you with the requisite learning materials. It is, after all, a basic human desire to have access to materials and resources. Nobody aspires to achieve nothing. However, their materials may not be designed for learning, and therefore they will not think of you when they are playing. In the event that you are unable to integrate successfully into the group, it is not necessary to attempt to do so. It is unlikely that you will be wrong all of the time.

Primarily, your willingness to share demonstrates your inherent goodness and virtue. It is not a universal trait; not everyone is inclined to share their resources. Furthermore, not everyone is deserving of such generosity. One must consider the value of the resources in question and whether the act of sharing is worthwhile.

It is my hope that you will continue to engage in the practice of sharing, but it is also important to understand the nuances of appropriate sharing.

Secondly, it is important to learn to follow one's heart. There are instances when one does not wish to share, and there is no obligation to do so. It is a fundamental right to decide what to share with others.

In conclusion, the circle of friends in college is not limited to one's dormitory. Even if one's social interactions with others in one's dormitory are minimal, it is not necessary to force oneself upon others. Even if one's social interactions with others in one's dormitory are negative, it is not necessary to feel sad. One can find like-minded individuals on campus with whom to study and improve one's skills together. After one has improved oneself, one will find that one does not need to be friends with some people.

It is my sincere hope that you will continue to flourish and develop a deeper connection with your closest companions. May you find joy and contentment in your endeavors.