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Every time I stop, I think of her; not being able to see her makes me extremely uncomfortable. How can I distract myself from these emotions?

established relationship college entrance examination academic pressure interest in romance emotion coping
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Every time I stop, I think of her; not being able to see her makes me extremely uncomfortable. How can I distract myself from these emotions? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

We established a relationship in the third year of junior high and have always gotten along well, living a happy life, watching movies, and so on. After the college entrance examination, we went to different schools but still met up. However, recently, on her birthday, after I gave her a gift, she said that I was too good to her, and this goodness made her feel stressed. Moreover, she mentioned that she was under a lot of academic pressure recently, and she didn't have much interest in romance, suggesting that we discuss it after college. Am I not liked by her anymore, or does she truly want to wait until university to talk about this? If I really miss her, but she is unwilling to have much contact with me during this time, does that mean she dislikes me? What should I do to cope with this emotion? I keep thinking about her when I stop, and the inability to see her makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. Moreover, she is also not very willing to talk to me now and doesn't want to meet me. What should I do?

Henry Charles Wilson Henry Charles Wilson A total of 2740 people have been helped

Hello! I'd like to send you a warm hug from afar.

It would be beneficial for you to be praised for being aware of your anxiety and uneasy feelings about your relationship with your girlfriend, as well as her relatively indifferent attitude.

It might be helpful to try to stay with your anxious and restless feelings at the moment to experience, perceive and feel them, and sort out what the real needs behind your anxious and restless feelings are. For example, you might be experiencing a desire to be accepted, understood and cared about, or a fear of being rejected, denied and disliked. If you really are rejected, it might be helpful to consider what this means to you.

Could it be that you're not quite there yet in terms of accepting yourself?

You might consider trying to have a conversation with your girlfriend about your feelings and what kind of relationship you desire. This could help to ease your anxiety and unease. You could tell her that you especially need her understanding and acceptance, while respecting her right and freedom to say no.

It might be helpful to try to give yourself this part of the response and satisfaction through your own efforts. That is to try to fully accept yourself from the inside out, cultivate self-confidence, and enhance your sense of self-worth. Being rejected does not necessarily mean that you are not good enough or that you are terrible. It may be the case that your girlfriend is worried that the relationship will affect her studies. You are still young and may lack an accurate understanding of relationships. She may not be ready for a relationship. All of this requires you to be patient and wait. Even if she rejects you, it does not necessarily mean that other girls will also reject you.

Perhaps it simply means that he is not the right type for her.

My name is Lily, and I'm a listener for the Q&A Museum. I just wanted to say that I love you all and that I'm sending you all my love from the world.

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Comments

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Imogen Pearl A teacher's self - sacrifice is a noble act that students look up to and learn from.

I understand her feelings might be complex right now with all the academic pressure. It seems like she values your relationship but needs space to focus on studies. Maybe respecting her wishes and giving her that space is the best support you can offer.

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Lonnie Miller Life is a banquet, fill your plate with experiences.

It sounds tough, but it's important to respect her need for a break from romance to concentrate on academics. Perhaps this time apart could help both of you grow individually before reconnecting after college.

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Josephine Hayes A person who accepts failure gracefully is closer to success than one who denies it.

She may not dislike you; it's more about prioritizing education over relationships at this stage. You could try focusing on your own growth too, knowing this period will pass eventually.

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Clark Anderson The power of forgiveness is that it can heal not only us, but also those around us.

The fact that she mentioned discussing things after college shows there's still hope. Try not to take her current distance personally. Use this time to build yourself up, so when you do talk again, you're even stronger.

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Hammett Davis A hard - working soul is a soul that is rich in experience.

It's hard to miss someone who means so much to you. While it's challenging, respecting her request for less contact might be what she needs right now. This doesn't mean the end but rather a pause in your closeness.

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