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By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024
The original poster said, "I always find trouble with my family and get into arguments with them. I know it's not right, but I can't help it. This makes you feel a bit annoyed and a bit distressed, doesn't it?"
First, take a look at how you communicate with your family. Is it possible that this "looking for things to do" behavior of yours is actually an attempt to get their attention or to get them to listen to some of your inner thoughts? It's also possible that you don't know how to start a conversation, so you think that maybe getting their attention by "looking for things to do" might do the trick.
Do you think you have this need?
First, take a deep breath and try to understand what you're really feeling when you say "find fault." Only by getting to the root of our emotions can we truly understand our motivations and become more aware of our inner selves.
If you want to communicate with your family but don't know how or haven't done it before, you can try the following:
?1, a good time
Family members can be pretty busy, especially when they've just gotten home from work and are trying to get dinner ready and tidy up. It can be tough to calm down at that time. So, for example, during mealtimes (tip: it is more appropriate to talk about happy things during mealtimes?), or after dinner, or at the weekend, family members will be in a better frame of mind to listen to you.
?2, the right family member
Even if you're all family members, there will always be someone you're more comfortable talking to. It could be your father, mother, or sibling. First, find the person you feel understands you better on weekdays and talk to them alone.
It's probably best not to have a group chat first, as it could get out of control.
?3, start with the simple things.
If you haven't set up good communication methods before, start with simple things and gradually build up a habit that everyone's comfortable with. For instance, in our family, we talk about what happened at school over dinner. Once a month, we go out for a big meal and talk about other things.
Over time, this becomes a habit for family members. Of course, there will be more communication.
If you're unsure how to communicate with your family, don't worry. Take it one step at a time and try to see things from their perspective. They may also want to communicate with you, but our nitpicking can make communication afraid and stop it.
I wish you the best of luck.
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Comments
I get what you're saying. It's like I'm my own worst enemy, creating issues out of thin air and taking it out on the people who don't deserve it. I know it's not right, and I wish I could stop, but it feels like this anger just bubbles up without any real cause.
It sounds like you're really struggling with some internal conflict. It's frustrating when you know your actions are hurting others, especially those close to you, and yet you feel powerless to stop it. Maybe there's something deeper going on that needs addressing.
Feeling this way must be really hard. It seems like there might be underlying emotions or stressors that surface at home, making you lash out. It's important to try and understand where these feelings come from so you can start to manage them better.