Faced with repeated marriage pressure, how can one's life be considered worthwhile, transitioning from anger and sadness to contemplating suicide?

I'm confident my answer will help you.

From your description, it's clear that you're under a lot of psychological pressure about the matchmaking. It's evident that your mother's verbal attacks and unfair treatment are the main sources of this pressure, which has caused you to feel negative emotions such as annoyance, confusion, and sadness.

It affects your mood and judgment.

Your mother's constant criticism has made you a people-pleasing, lacking in self-confidence type of character. You need to gain the approval of others at your own pace.

This mentality will affect your social relationships. Self-growth problem: Our original family is something we cannot choose. My mother sincerely hopes that someone can take care of you and follow traditional thinking to get married and have children.

These are different times. You must choose a suitable partner before marriage, not marry blindly. If you marry hastily, you cannot improve your psychological ability. You may also face marital discord after marriage.

You must improve your psychological ability and confidence in your daily life.

You must face your family of origin and choose a marriage partner with a positive and optimistic attitude. Your mother's approach to entering the museum shows that you don't understand, but you don't care. You are a strong person, and this kind of influence will not affect you. You must be proactive and motivated, constantly improving yourself at work and in terms of your self-worth.

Tell your parents you can live a good life without their protection. Tell them you'd rather have a harmonious life than haste. Work hard to improve yourself and become a woman with a strong opinion in life. Good luck!

Your parents may still love you, but they also have a lot of other things they love, like their reputation, their traditional values, and the idea that a person is only truly unfilial if they have no descendants. They repeatedly forced you to get married in order to make you conform to their values, to have an heir, and to make you obedient and sensible.

However, this can sometimes feel like a sharp weapon that hurts you. Some people are just like your parents, attacking you, criticizing you, and controlling you through their personal thoughts, leaving you to feel like you have no right to choose as an adult.

It's totally normal to feel angry and sad at the same time, and it's okay to have extreme thoughts. You're going through a lot right now, and it's important to remember that you're not alone. If you're looking for a way to make your life more meaningful, you've already taken the first step by reaching out to us. We're here to support you every step of the way.

Your parents will always find new reasons to blame you for not getting married, but marriage should be a spontaneous act, not something forced upon you by them. If people say that everyone should get married at a certain age, then shouldn't everyone also go to the grave at a certain age?

There's nothing you should do at this age. Everyone has their own way of life, and that's okay! You just need to hold fast to your bottom line. You are very beautiful, you have the right height, and you still have unlimited vitality. No matter how others, even your parents, attack you, it is best to ignore them. I recommend that you break away from your original family as soon as possible and find your own place to settle down. Good luck!

ZQ?

Dear Sir/Madam, Thank you for your question. Best regards, [Name]

I have first-hand experience of being forced into marriage. Many people believe that a single person remains so for two reasons: they have not yet met the right person or they are experiencing difficulties. Others see this as mere excuse, viewing the situation as a simple matter of fact: you are still single. This is also the view held by many parents of their children. They believe their children are too picky, unstable and unwilling to settle down and find someone. In the eyes of parents, this is the fault of their children, so there is forced marriage and forced matchmaking. This feeling is helpless and painful.

[1] It is important to understand that our parents' primary objective is to ensure our well-being and stability. They expect us to have a partner who can provide support in various aspects of life. For boys, this often translates to a woman who can handle household tasks and offer emotional stability. For girls, it means a reliable and protective partner. When our parents express their expectations, it is crucial to listen attentively and respond respectfully, even if we may not fully agree. Disagreements can lead to discomfort for both parties, so it is essential to maintain a constructive dialogue.

[2] Secondly, it is important to remain resilient in the face of external comments and criticism. Some individuals may make remarks without fully considering their impact, and it is crucial to recognize that such comments should not significantly influence your emotional state. It is essential to maintain your own sense of self-worth and not let external opinions affect your confidence.

[3] Thirdly, it is important to accept yourself and your parents. It is crucial to accept your own life situation, regardless of whether you are married or not. You can still live a fulfilling life. It is also important to accept the limitations of your parents' thinking. We were not born in their era, so there will inevitably be differences in our concepts. If we were to go back to their era, we would be able to understand their reasons better and also their actions. It is important not to take their words to heart, but rather to understand and accompany them.

[4] Ultimately, you are responsible for your own affairs. Understand your thoughts, whether you are unable to move on from a previous relationship, whether you cannot forget past experiences, or whether you cannot find a suitable partner. Evaluate your current situation, but remember that remaining single does not necessarily indicate failure. Perseverance, regardless of its outcome, is a valuable quality. It is possible that nothing will happen if you persevere to the end, and it is also possible that perseverance will lead to a positive outcome. It is impossible to predict the future, but it is essential to recognize your own potential. If a positive outcome occurs, that is a positive outcome. However, if it does not, you must be prepared to accept that.

Please consider whether you would be able to cope with the worst possible outcome.

It is my hope that the above will prove helpful to the questioner.

Greetings,

The host

A careful reading of the post reveals the considerable effort the author has invested over time. It also indicates that the author has courageously articulated his distress and proactively sought assistance on the platform. This will undoubtedly facilitate the author's ability to gain self-awareness and make necessary adjustments to achieve a more positive self-perception.

In the following section, I will present my observations and thoughts on the original post, which I believe may assist the original poster in developing a more nuanced understanding of themselves.

1. A portion of the pain experienced is a result of expectations held by the individual regarding their mother.

From the original post, it was evident that the author expressed a lack of comprehension regarding why an individual might harbor negative sentiments towards their offspring. This observation elicited a certain degree of melancholy.

It is reasonable to conclude that the individual in question experienced considerable distress as a result of their parents' actions. However, it is important to note that there are numerous individuals who are willing to provide support and understanding.

Let us therefore examine the underlying causes of your anger, sadness, and suicidal ideation. Despite the presence of beauty in the world, these emotions are directed at a specific individual.

It can be reasonably inferred that the anger and sadness are directed at the parents. The coercion and disapproval on the part of the parents can be viewed as a form of indirect attack on the individual.

For a variety of reasons, it is not possible to "fight back" against such treatment. Instead, emotions must be suppressed, and when these are not expressed outwardly, they can manifest as self-destructive behaviour.

It is even possible to seek retribution against one's parents by inflicting self-harm. This phenomenon can be observed in individuals who exhibit self-destructive behaviors as a form of indirect revenge against their parents.

This ambivalence arises from the contradictory nature of our feelings towards our parents. On the one hand, we love them; on the other, we hate them. Our love for them gives rise to expectations of them, namely that they will treat, care for, and understand us as ideal parents would. When our parents fail to meet these expectations, we may experience a range of emotions.

2. Attempt to accept your parents for who they are.

The presence of expectations of parents gives rise to feelings of anger. It may therefore be beneficial to attempt to relinquish expectations of parents.

Parents are also ordinary people, with their own limitations in development and life disappointments.

The original poster may benefit from examining their upbringing and the educational background they received. This could help them understand that the observed behavior may not be inherent, but rather shaped by the surrounding environment.

Similarly, in a television drama, the protagonist initially opposed her child's enrollment in supplementary classes. However, when her child's performance lagged behind that of their peers, she was compelled to reconsider her stance. This illustrates the potential for parental attitudes to evolve in response to external influences.

At this juncture, it may be beneficial to attempt to accept one's parents for who they are.

Accepting one's parents for who they are is a means of avoiding excessive expectations and disappointment. However, it is pertinent to inquire whether there are any viable courses of action to address their behavior, such as the potential for forcing one to get married.

It is important to note that despite the limitations imposed by these circumstances, there are still numerous avenues available for individuals to pursue in order to improve their own lives.

3. Construct a personal firewall.

The act of accepting one's parents for who they are necessarily entails the acceptance of the possibility that some of their actions may cause harm to their children. This naturally gives rise to the question of how such harm should be dealt with.

One may posit that the construction of a metaphorical firewall could prove an efficacious method of preventing the harm caused by some of their actions and views.

It is imperative to recognize that the only individuals capable of inflicting harm are ourselves.

If one is able to remain unaffected by one's parents' hurtful behavior and to enjoy oneself in the face of their concern for one,

The relationship will then become more intriguing. It is important to note that attempting to change another person is a challenging endeavor, as it is often uncontrollable.

However, it is within our control to change ourselves. This allows us to take the initiative in our relationships.

In light of these considerations, it may be possible to inform one's parents that, within the scope of their capabilities, they have performed their duties in an admirable manner. However, it is important to acknowledge that nobody is infallible and that it is not feasible to meet every expectation. It is also essential to recognise that circumstances may occasionally prevent one from fulfilling certain requests.

4. Assume responsibility for your own life.

It is inevitable that one will experience annoyance when confronted with parental disapproval and various forms of pressure.

It is imperative that we learn to assume responsibility for our own lives, our own emotions, and our own needs. We must recognize that we have matured and are now adults.

We possess the capacity and resources to assume responsibility for our own lives. Similarly, parents must also assume responsibility for their own lives.

It should be noted that allowing individuals to assume responsibility for their own lives does not imply a lack of concern for their well-being. However, when there is a discrepancy in opinion, it is important to disengage in a manner that is respectful to both parties. It is not necessary for one individual to attempt to convince the other.

Such a coexistence is indeed possible.

Therefore, we endeavor to assume responsibility for our own emotions. When parental actions have an impact on us, we should intervene in an appropriate manner, refrain from allowing ourselves to become overwhelmed by anger or sadness, and express our feelings in a constructive manner. It is essential to embrace the present moment, pursue activities that align with our values, and engage in behaviors that bring us joy.

This process allows individuals to satisfy their own needs, which may contribute to a greater sense of well-being.

Furthermore, it is possible that parents may be influenced by their children when they observe that the latter are doing well.

It is my hope that these suggestions will prove beneficial to you. I am a one-on-one growth coach, Zeng Chen.

Dear Question Asker, I am pleased to have this opportunity to discuss your question with you.

From the description of the questioner, it can be seen that the questioner's mother has a relatively strong desire to control the questioner. This is evidenced by her persistent urging of the questioner to marry, her scolding of the questioner, and her leading of a group to attack the questioner. This has resulted in the questioner feeling very frustrated. It would be interesting to understand how the questioner's father communicates with the questioner at home.

Please describe the role of the author's father in the family. What is his attitude towards the matter of the author's marriage?

It would be beneficial to understand why the questioner's mother does not seem to comprehend the questioner's needs and disregards them. It would also be helpful to ascertain whether she experienced neglect from her family during her childhood.

The current behavior of the questioner's mother is a direct result of her upbringing by her biological family. It is possible that the questioner's mother was unduly repressed by her biological family during her formative years, resulting in neglect of her needs, a lack of emotional support, and even the suppression of her emotional expression. This may explain the questioner's mother's treatment of the questioner.

If you wish to pursue the life you desire, it is essential to make comprehensive plans. What are the financial implications of living alone until the end of your life?

What type of relationship is required to ensure that you will not be looked down upon in your old age? What is the questioner's personal stance on marriage?

If you wish to marry but are unable to find a suitable partner, how did the questioner communicate with his parents?

In addition to the mother's insistence on marriage, have any friends or family members expressed support for the questioner? Have these questions been considered?

Due to the nature of the questions posed by the author on this platform, it is not possible to engage in a comprehensive discussion on the subject. However, I can provide some general guidance on the author's family of origin.

It is important to gain an understanding of how your mother treats you.

It would be beneficial to understand why the mother in the family treats the questioner in this way. Could her education and control of the questioner be a result of her own experiences as a child?

It may be due to external factors. It is possible that your mother's generation had significant challenges in terms of survival, which may have resulted in a lack of opportunities to learn effective parenting and household management skills.

It is reasonable to assume that the parents of the questioner were also rarely provided with meticulous attention when they were children and were also treated similarly. As a result, when the parents grew up, they brought the trauma of their original family into the family they formed, unconsciously repeating the same mistakes.

It is important to recognise that no parents or families are perfect. It is possible that parents may have experienced inappropriate education and demands during their own childhoods, which could have led to the formation of fixed beliefs. This can result in a tendency to adopt a specific approach when faced with certain situations, influenced by the limitations of life and subtle external factors. Even experiences of mistreatment during childhood may be transferred to subsequent generations, or parents may seek the treatment they believe their children deserve.

It is important to express and share your pain.

Should the questioner be able to reconcile with this experience at a later date, they may wish to consider expressing this past event. This could be done in written form on the Internet, or alternatively, by sharing it with their family and friends or a counselor.

If you are not inclined to engage in conversation with another individual, you may wish to consider speaking with animals, plants, or dolls. If circumstances allow, it is my personal recommendation that the questioner pursue professional psychological counseling. This can be done on the Yi Xinli platform. It is important to find someone with whom you can share your emotions. Talking about your feelings may help you to release the negative emotions that were brought on by your childhood.

It is recommended that you express your emotions to your mother in a clear and assertive manner. Based on the description provided, it appears that you have not been valued or adequately supported since childhood, and have consistently experienced negative emotions. It is therefore advised that you express your emotions in a direct and uninhibited manner, while taking care not to cause distress to your parents.

It is essential to develop effective emotional management skills.

If emotions arise and you wish to take action, it is important to be aware of your desired outcome and the message you wish to convey.

What emotions require release? Will the chosen method cause harm to the mother?

It is also possible to identify outlets for expressing negative emotions without causing harm to your mother. If you feel overwhelmed, take a moment to breathe deeply and count to ten. This will help you to identify the best course of action.

It is important to learn to accept yourself.

It is important to pursue activities that align with your personal interests and values. Accepting your personality traits and recognizing their influence on your life is also crucial. When facing challenges, it is beneficial to engage in self-care activities that bring you joy and satisfaction.

It is important to make yourself happy without causing harm to others. One way to achieve this is by allowing yourself to enjoy some sweets. As well as being a source of enjoyment, sweet foods can also have a positive effect on our physical and mental wellbeing.

It is important to avoid allowing negative emotions to take over your life.

I hope this response is of assistance to the questioner.

Hi, I'm Jiusi, a psychological counselor, and I hope I can be of help to you.

From what you've said, I can tell you're feeling pretty down in the dumps right now. I get why the questioner is unhappy and disappointed with the world.

The original poster makes a good point. Even though we're just ordinary people, we shouldn't settle for marriage.

American writer Byron Katie wrote in "Letting Go of the Day," "Of the whole universe, I have found only three things: my own affairs, other people's affairs, and God's affairs."

The choice of whether or not to get married and who to marry is up to us, and no one else's.

We have to listen to our hearts and not just do things because we're giving in to external factors.

The key thing is that we don't create a new problem to solve an old one.

Basically, if we give in to external factors and end up with someone we don't like, we could end up with an unhappy marriage or even divorce down the road.

If we're prepared and want to marry someone we like, we can make it happen.

I think we should start with these two points.

First, finding a partner is a two-way street. You have to be the right fit for them, too. If you want to find a suitable partner, you have to meet the corresponding standards yourself.

If you want to find a rich and handsome guy, you need to become a beautiful and wealthy woman first. As we all know, the story of the prince and Cinderella has a pretty unfortunate ending.

If we put in the work to improve ourselves, it'll pay off. We've got to remember that a phoenix will naturally be attracted to a paulownia tree.

Secondly, it's important to improve your social circle.

If you want to improve yourself, you have to expand your exposure. Even if you go to a big city, it's useless if you don't do that.

It's important to remember that people are drawn to similar things and tend to group together. It's helpful to know which circles your ideal type belongs to and where they often hang out.

Look for someone who cares about others. We often volunteer, visit the library, and go to the gym.

I hope the questioner can find their ideal partner as soon as possible. A happy life depends on our pursuit.

We just have to do what we need to do, and then we can leave the rest up to God.

I hope my answer is helpful to the questioner. I really hope that the questioner can be happy again soon.

Thanks for your time. I'm Jiusi from Yixinli, World and I Love You.