Facing a breakup and a thesis, I'm on the verge of depression again and again. What should I do?

Hello, question owner!

From your description, I can totally understand your feelings and emotions because breaking up with your boyfriend and having problems with your thesis have both hit you hard.

A breakup with a boyfriend may have a certain impact on you, but it's also an opportunity for growth and self-discovery! Women are emotional and more dedicated in relationships, but men may not be able to tolerate the dull period of a relationship. So, it's normal for a relationship that has lasted for many years to suddenly break up.

In terms of academic studies and essays, you feel that you have a lot of self-doubt and lack confidence. You also see that your teacher keeps emphasizing that you are not capable. But is it really a matter of not being capable, or is it that we have not established good interpersonal relationships? There must be a reason and a solution to this!

Now for the fun part! Let's dive in and see how we can solve this together.

[1] Learn to recognize negative emotions and learn to manage them!

Nowadays, we have certain negative emotions about breaking up. These emotions may be feelings of reluctance, a greater sunk cost of what we have given, and a feeling that the relationship should have a happy ending. But in fact, all relationships will go through a period of stagnation, and if this period is not overcome, it will lead to certain problems. So we need to first examine our own negative emotions, see which type of emotion it is, find the cause, and learn to manage our emotions. Once we've done that, we'll be ready to take on whatever comes next!

[2] Look for ways to communicate with your teacher about academic matters in a positive way!

It's time to figure out what your own problem is. Are you not capable, or is it that the teacher really can't do anything for you? Either way, you can make some kind of effort to get the teacher to pay more attention to you! Of course, you don't need to respond to some inappropriate efforts. In communicating and getting along with the teacher, you can give the other person some benefits and see how this matter can be best resolved. Communicate rationally and avoid letting your emotions control you.

[3] Intimacy is a beautiful thing when it's built on mutual maintenance, respect, and understanding!

If a relationship isn't working out, or the person has some issues, it's only a matter of time before things start to go south. But that's okay! It's all part of the journey. We just need to take a step back and re-examine what we want from this relationship. And it's not just about what we want, but also about understanding our partner's needs. After all, we're in this together! It's also important to remember that managing an intimate relationship takes time and effort. But it's worth it!

[4] Love yourself and take responsibility for yourself!

You are the only person in this world who is responsible for yourself. This includes your lovers and family members. You must take responsibility for yourself. You must learn to grow and become independent. You must also learn to identify the part of the problem that you need to solve. You must learn to take responsibility for yourself and learn to forget the people you should forget. Although this relationship makes you suffer, with the passage of time, you will see that quitting is the best choice.

If you can't resolve it yourself, you can seek professional counseling or talk to friends and family. For academic issues, find out what methods you can use to solve them and communicate actively with your teachers. I believe this will also solve these problems!

I really hope these opinions are helpful to you!

Good morning, question asker!

I'm sending you a virtual hug from across the screen!

I can sense that this is a challenging period for you.

I would be delighted to have a chat with you and hope that I can offer you some comfort and inspiration.

1. It might be helpful to try to be more understanding of your own difficulties and comfort yourself as if you were your best friend.

We all face challenges in life.

It is possible that the degree in question may be different.

It can be challenging to navigate the emotional rollercoaster that comes with breaking up with a boyfriend you've been in love with for five years, especially when you're also facing the pressure of rewriting a thesis.

Any one of these things has the potential to be overwhelming.

Perhaps we could also consider the accumulation of experiences?

It is important to be understanding with yourself.

Perhaps it would be helpful to focus less on why the boyfriend was able to let go of the relationship.

It is important to remember that every relationship is different and has its own unique weight in our hearts.

Some people may experience feelings of guilt or doubt when facing the end of a relationship. While these emotions can be challenging, they may also bring a sense of relief.

And how might we find the courage to let go?

It is a valuable experience.

It is understandable to miss each other a great deal and to experience a great deal of pain.

When we are truly committed to a relationship, it can be challenging to accept the end of it, even if it is for the best.

The days following a breakup can often be challenging, and it's natural to feel a certain reluctance.

Because two people who were once so close have now become strangers to each other.

It might be helpful to learn to comfort yourself well, just as you would your best friend. You could try to be there for yourself, to be understanding, and to do things that can make you happier or that can take your mind off things.

I believe that every experience has the potential to help us grow.

While this growth may be challenging, it offers an opportunity to reflect on the kind of person we aspire to become. How should I navigate a relationship?

Perhaps it would be helpful to allow yourself a little more time to heal.

It might be helpful to try not to be too hard on yourself, and to avoid the thought that "I feel fine again, so my depression is coming back."

It might be helpful to remind yourself that this is all part of the path to recovery. You might like to try giving yourself positive mental suggestions, which could help you get through this period.

2. While taking care of yourself, it might be helpful to consider a few different solutions and to keep in mind the idea of taking things one step at a time.

In the meantime, please be aware that this is a challenging period for you. It would be helpful to find ways to care for your body and emotions.

If you're not feeling hungry, try to find something to eat.

Perhaps it would be helpful to remind yourself that it is okay to lie down.

We all have the capacity to heal ourselves.

If you're still not feeling better, you might want to consider consulting a doctor.

Additionally, you might consider a few different ways to cope.

For instance, you may have considered taking a temporary leave from your studies, which could be a beneficial step.

You might also consider finding a solution now, communicating with your supervisor, and seeking further guidance from them.

You might also consider asking your teacher how you could complete your thesis in less time.

You might also consider preparing a little for writing a thesis every day and using the rest of the time to focus on recovery.

If we allow ourselves to conserve our energy and reduce our anxiety, we will naturally find the motivation to tackle whatever lies ahead.

Perhaps it would be helpful to remind yourself that this is not a major issue.

If I might suggest, try to just get through it.

There are a variety of ways to approach a problem.

If you feel so inclined, please feel free to share these.

If it would be of interest to you, you might like to consider reading books that offer a soothing perspective.

You might also consider books such as The Power of Now and Allow Yourself, for example.

I wish you the very best!

Hello, question asker!

From your question, I can tell how tough this is for you. You've been thrown into two kinds of pain in a short period of time, and it's rough. You've got this!

I remember the unbearable pressure my eldest child felt during the revision process of his master's thesis. His supervisor rarely provided him with ideas and always said that it was time to hand in the paper quickly, that this and that was not good enough and needed to be revised. One night, he cried bitterly, feeling that he didn't know how to revise it. I understand what you mean about the helplessness of thesis revision.

You need someone to lean on, but it's raining cats and dogs. You've been through a lot, and it's taken a toll. It's hard to believe or adapt to this in a short period of time. I understand your frustration. You feel like your old depression is coming back. All of this is a normal reaction. It's the body's stress response. It's also a reaction to protect yourself when these things happen. You need to hug yourself tightly. You really need a tight hug.

But things have happened, and these two events are now in front of us. So what do we do next? I'm going to share my views based on my personal experience.

First of all, we must face it with determination!

These two things have already happened and there's no avoiding it. We must face the facts and take action.

This is like the current pandemic. A month ago, we didn't expect it to be like this, and a month from now, it will be like this. But in the big picture, each of us must face it positively in order to get through this difficult time.

You must learn to face these two things positively, just as everyone else did during the pandemic.

Second, just as we have to learn to protect ourselves during the pandemic, you, who are also in the midst of the pandemic, should know that there are now more ways to protect yourself than there were three years ago. When the environment changes, our response measures must change. You, who are now suffering from two kinds of pain, must learn to protect yourself and come up with several ways to cope.

You're thinking about finding a job, and I think that's a great idea. I'm behind you all the way. Get a job as soon as you can!

You can also take a year off to calm down. You're worried that you won't be able to solve the problem with your thesis, but you're wrong. It seems to me that you have the same idea as me. If the thesis continues for a long time, it is much better to strike while the iron is hot.

You need to deal with the emotions of the breakup first, then the thesis. But you see that the thesis revision is very tight, and there is no time for you to deal with the emotions of the breakup. I also see the conflict here, but I think you can be flexible.

I believe there's more to be done to deal with the emotions of a breakup. Otherwise, we'll never be able to let go of the past and move on. Your thesis is now a very urgent matter. It seems that the option of taking a year off, as you had thought, is not feasible. This means that you must solve this matter now. The thesis is more important than the breakup and the pain.

You recently ended your relationship with your boyfriend, so you're aware of the thesis. Regardless of whether you're speaking emotionally or rationally, it's impossible to get you to do the thesis on purpose. And let's not forget your own subjective thoughts. You feel your supervisor is unfriendly.

It's been two weeks since we broke up. You should be able to calm down a little. Let's calm our hearts as much as possible, calm down, calm down, and then calm down some more. Don't let the past get in the way of your thesis. If you need more time, go to your advisor. I know it's tough, but you can do it. My advisor was there for me, and I know you can find the same support. The advisor's revisions are for the article, not for us.

I have gone on at length about this because I want you to change your mind and realize that thesis revision is more important than anything else.

You will reap a double harvest after going through these two painful experiences. Believe in the power of belief. You are different from the person who suffered from depression. You have gained enough experience dealing with depression. You can see that the symptoms are just beginning to appear, so you have come here to seek scientific methods. You are perceptive and thorough, and your abilities have improved greatly over the years. You can do it. There are always more ways than difficulties, and they will be reflected in you.

You will be an excellent master's graduate next year, ready to enter society!

By then, you will have a successful career and a happy love life.

The world and I love you!