Facing the stage, the microphone, the uncontrollable tension, and the desire to make a difference

OK, hello, and thank you so much for your question! I'm Coffee, and I'm thrilled to be here with you today.

First of all, you can be sure that you have had some successful experiences. When you were a child, you were a social cow and you were full of confidence. I think you must have had a happy childhood, and that is your memory. And that memory is something to build on!

This is your past of having been good at something!

After that, you experienced some rejection and suppression, and became a little socially fearful. But now, you're eager to change! You'll notice that you're now afraid of talking to the microphone or speaking in public.

This may have a certain impact on you, because a person who shows themselves and expresses themselves may achieve greater success or happiness—and that's something to get excited about!

But you feel that this hinders your progress and growth. You feel like expressing yourself and showing yourself, and I know you can do it! You are also a little afraid and fearful, so you feel very conflicted and entangled. I think the collision of these two emotions will make you feel very uncomfortable and unpleasant, but you can conquer that too!

At the same time, the contrast between the current social phobia and the previous social bull will also make you form a kind of self-contrast, which is also very unpleasant. But don't worry! If you want to return to your original state of social bull, there is also a kind of expectation, so it can be a bit anxiety. But you can do it!

You said you want to change quickly, and I think that's great!

The good news is that there are a few simple ways we can use to improve our social phobia and return to our social-cow state.

First, think about some of your experiences when you were a shy child. What was it like to feel confident when interacting with others?

Now, think back to it. Then, dive right in and fully embrace the feeling and state of being a social cow in that situation!

In this way, you'll gradually get to experience what it's like to be a social cow, and then you can apply it to your real life!

The second is to set achievable goals for yourself. If you set the bar too high, you'll end up feeling frustrated and losing confidence.

So every time, set a small goal for yourself! It could be as simple as raising your hand once, posting a video, or giving a speech in a public place. You don't need to be eloquent or have style. Just do it!

We can speak for two or three minutes, and slowly try to start. At the same time, at the end, we can cheer ourselves on, saying, "Wow, I can do it too! What I just said is great!"

Third, we absolutely must affirm ourselves! At the same time, we should seek out people who are willing to affirm us and show ourselves off to them.

If we are always met with negativity, it can really knock our confidence. But if we perform in front of people who are willing to affirm and encourage us, we will become more and more confident, and at the same time extend that to other people!

At the same time, we absolutely must learn to affirm ourselves, encourage ourselves, and cheer ourselves on! We can give ourselves timely feedback after accomplishing a small goal: "I can do it! I seem to be getting better and better!"

OK, the above three are some small tips and methods that may be useful. At the same time, we need to make changes slowly. The good news is that we don't need to adjust our mentality before taking action!

The great news is that you can adjust your mentality while taking action and just get started! So, starting tomorrow, set a small goal for yourself. You could raise your hand once, communicate with colleagues and classmates for a few minutes, or simply post a short video to show off a little bit. Then, achieve a small goal every day to gradually restore yourself to your social self!

The more you do, the more confident you become! And starting with small things will give you a huge boost to your self-confidence.

OK, the future social cow is about to appear! The world and I love you!

Good morning,

From being a highly social child to experiencing significant anxiety about expressing yourself in public, you may have encountered some formative experiences. I empathize with your current state of distress and discomfort, so please take some time for self-care.

In junior high school, you may have experienced a lack of affirmation from your elders or authorities. This could have been due to academic performance or other reasons. Criticism or negative feedback from these individuals may have negatively impacted your self-esteem and narcissism. Over time, these voices were internalized, influencing your self-evaluation and confidence. This has likely contributed to your current challenges.

Furthermore, I believe you have identified a correlation between these childhood memories and your current challenges. This is likely the underlying cause of your difficulties. By understanding this root cause, you can gain a deeper understanding of your problems and become more self-aware. However, I want to emphasize that you should not view the root cause as an obstacle to change. Many problems have a long history and are deeply rooted, but that does not mean we cannot solve and adjust them.

Firstly, it is important to let go of any high expectations you may have of yourself and to relax.

In your current state, you experience nervousness and tremors when you see the stage and microphone. Attempting to change this situation is a gradual process that requires careful and deliberate steps. Therefore, the initial goal is not to immediately step onto the stage and pick up the microphone. Excessive demands will intensify the fear in our hearts. The spotlight on the stage represents a longing for the moment of glory, a desire to attract public attention, and it will involuntarily make us tense up.

Setting expectations that are too high can result in a loss of focus on core needs and an inability to fully engage with one's authentic self. Moderate expectations can foster positive pressure, but excessive demands can lead to negative and destructive outcomes.

It is recommended that you first let go of your high expectations and relax. This may be an effective way to begin addressing the issue.

It is important to face your inner fears head-on and to take a gradual, conscious approach to opening yourself up.

Anxiety frequently stems from apprehension about potential negative feedback from others, which can lead to a fear of social interaction and a reluctance to express oneself. In the early stages of human evolution, individuals developed an innate physiological response to various stimuli in the face of a harsh natural environment. This response, which was initially adaptive, later became a source of psychological distress.

Setbacks and social relationship challenges are now a part of our reality. As an example, during our formative years, we may have experienced ridicule for displaying excessive nervousness when presenting in public. This can leave a lasting impression, leading to the development of specific fears.

It is recommended that you try to open up in a safe environment. For example, you could start by expressing yourself naturally in a small, familiar group to confirm that it is safe to express and present yourself. You could then gradually step out. You could also experience more of your own successful experiences.

It is important to identify and acknowledge the positive aspects of your performance, even if they are related to challenging tasks. By doing so, you can gradually build a reservoir of successful experiences that will motivate you to take on more challenging tasks with greater confidence.

To overcome fear and gain confidence, one must take action, face one's fears, and undergo gradual training.

Seeking assistance from qualified professionals can facilitate personal growth.

For example, you may wish to consider seeking the support of the school's psychological counselor or an external counselor. They can provide you with professional support and companionship, as well as utilize professional techniques and methods to assist with desensitization and confidence training, enabling you to overcome challenges promptly and excel.

I hope that Hongyu's reply is helpful to you. Thank you for your question.

Hello, question asker!

It's challenging to offer advice on your confidence issues based on a short description. However, I'm confident we can have a productive conversation and explore ways to boost your confidence when you feel anxious and want to withdraw.

"The question is secondary. The goal is what matters."

You went from being a confident social butterfly in primary school to trembling with nerves when facing the stage in junior high school. This obvious change and the gap between then and now have made you feel sad and self-doubting. This may be related to the changes in your learning and living environment after junior high school and your own degree of adaptation. Alternatively, it may be that something happened at school, and problems arose in your interpersonal relationships with teachers and classmates, which affected your self-confidence.

From your description, it's clear you're sticking to your interests and hobbies, practicing the things you're good at, and you're going back to the stage you love with confidence.

Break out of the cocoon and experience the pain.

You are in adolescence, and like other people your age going through puberty, you may feel that your self-evaluation is generally low, prone to self-doubt, and your emotions are fragile. However, you are not concerned about the opinions of those around you. Therefore, when you get on stage and face the judges and audience, you will not feel nervous and you will not want to withdraw, as you will be in a position where you are judged by many people.

However, you can overcome these internal anxieties and fears. It is not easy to regain confidence and express yourself in all public situations, but you can do it. This is also a necessary growing pain.

You will find your confidence little by little.

When you're in an unsatisfactory situation, you may be hoping for a quick fix to relieve your tension and return you to the state of confidence you had when you were in primary school. But you have to be prepared for gradual progress in small steps and accept repeated, long-term adjustments.

For the things you like and are good at, don't give up. Keep practicing and get better. Ten years of hard work behind the scenes is needed for one minute on stage. Do some breathing and relaxation exercises in your spare time. When you feel nervous, use breathing and relaxation to calm down. Tell yourself you can do it, you can do it, and you're good enough.

The original poster will regain their confidence and shine on the stage that is theirs!

Hello! I give you a 360-degree hug.

Let's be real: everyone gets nervous when they have to speak in public. Even battle-hardened veterans. So, being nervous is the norm. Not being nervous at all is not the norm. We have to accept that I get nervous, and that many people get nervous.

Next, I'm going to tell you how to relieve tension.

Let's talk about how to deal with being nervous on stage. The best way is to admit your nervousness.

You can say, "I'm nervous about speaking in front of so many people today," or even describe how you feel. Disclosing your nervousness dissipates it, and you can find a reason or excuse for not speaking well.

Even if the speech is a failure, you can still find a reason for it that doesn't involve being nervous. When you do, others will understand and say, "Oh, he was nervous, that's normal."

As we said earlier, we all get nervous. When you say you're nervous, the people below you will probably laugh. This laughter is encouraging and empathetic.

Laughter will ease the tension.

Additionally, you should seek out a kind audience member and make eye contact with them during the speech. This will provide you with valuable, constructive feedback.

If you can't find someone like this, arrange for an acquaintance to take on this role in advance. It's best if they are a stranger, someone you don't know well.

Other methods include taking deep breaths and viewing the audience as wooden stakes.

As previously stated, the methods for eliminating nervousness during a speech only treat the symptoms, not the root cause. Undoubtedly, having a few successful speaking experiences boosts self-confidence and partially solves the problem of nervousness.

If you want to solve the problem of nervousness, you have to work on it from the inside.

First, identify your limiting beliefs. From your question, it's clear that you believe you lack confidence, aren't good at it, are scared, and get nervous.

This is true, but it may not be how others see you.

The way others see us is often different from the way we see ourselves. We often belittle ourselves and elevate others. We may feel that we are not good enough, while others think that we are quite good.

Ask someone close to you who can honestly point out the problems with your speech performance. Accept their feedback with an open mind.

Second, listen to other people's speeches, especially those of people similar to you, like colleagues. Observe how they speak, how fast they speak, and so on. This will help you assess your own speaking abilities.

Third, you must cultivate internal strength. You are often stage-frightened and nervous because you are afraid of uncontrollable things happening that you cannot control.

Once you have prepared a sufficient knowledge base and detailed information, and have verbalized various possible scenarios and prepared solutions, your nervousness will also be reduced.

Fourth, read some books on public speaking and learn some rhetoric for public speaking, storytelling techniques, etc.

I am both Buddhist and pessimistic, an occasionally positive and motivated counselor, and I love the world.

Good morning, Thank you for your question.

As a healer, I will begin by offering you a big hug. "Facing the stage, the microphone, the uncontrollable tension, and the desire to make a change." In addition to occupations such as teachers, hosts, and actors, I believe this situation is common for most people. Not everyone can overcome their inner self, but it is not necessarily impossible. It depends on the conditions and circumstances. If you want to break through yourself, there are many ways to inspire you, such as speaking loudly, reading training, or opening up your social circle. Subjectively, it is the bondage of your inner self's consciousness, and the question of whether you want to take this step. Objectively, it is the shaping of the environment, which also includes the suppression of the family environment in which you grew up.

In primary school, I was the class leader and was confident in everything. In junior high school, I was not affirmed and became more and more concerned about and even afraid of other people's opinions. Eventually, I became afraid of expressing myself in public, and I was afraid to do things I was good at. I get nervous and shake when I see a stage or a microphone. I really want to make a change, but I keep backing down and becoming more and more timid. From these descriptions, it seems that you still lack a sense of security. The primary school environment is where habits are formed, and for each of us, it is a display of our individuality. Entering middle school, more often than not, we have to look at grades and rankings. Learning at a higher level will lead to greater competition. I often say, "Don't overestimate yourself, but also don't underestimate what others think of you." Although being confident as a child was called boldness, it cannot be attributed entirely to the strength of the self. However, the affirmation of family members and encouragement from teachers are the accelerators of self-improvement.

I am unaware of your personal experiences, but the absence of affirmation may be detrimental to your self-esteem and mental well-being. Ultimately, the greatest challenge we face is the loss of self-awareness. When we become preoccupied with external factors and lose confidence in our abilities, it can significantly impact our sense of self.

The individual who can unravel the knot must be the one who tied it in the first place. It is essential to implement changes from within, reconcile with the opposing self within us, and identify the factors that weaken the opposing self. Despite the fact that we are all flawed individuals and not innately strong, it is crucial to let go of our fears and begin by alleviating our self-pressure. Perhaps a specific stimulus (criticism from an elder or teacher, taunts and ridicule from classmates) caused a reaction in an environment of stress, which was also a form of self-protection. Most importantly, we must strive to implement changes.

It would be beneficial to find like-minded individuals with whom to form a support network. I hope that you will receive advice and suggestions for change from your network. It would be advantageous to participate in outdoor public welfare or activities to gradually let go of your closed heart, speak your mind, and sometimes being cheeky is the best way to fight self-withdrawal.

It is recommended that you communicate with your teachers and parents to identify the areas in which you have not been recognized. Only by understanding your shortcomings can you improve. Gather your courage. In life, apart from death, everything else is just a scratch. It's no big deal. We are not RMB. We can't please everyone, so it's enough to please the vast majority. Just love our parents and close friends.

Set a goal for yourself, such as an activity that will provide a significant sense of accomplishment, to serve as a distraction, and to complete within a specified time frame. This will help to rebuild your self-confidence and rediscover your previous capabilities.

You may feel confined to your current situation, but remember that the world is your oyster. Don't be afraid to take the initiative and pursue your goals. Everyone has been in your position at some point, so don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Investing in yourself is one of the best decisions you can make. This advice is for reference only, and I hope that everything comes true.

Hello, host. I hope my answer helps.

The host said that when he was in elementary school, he was confident. In junior high school, he was not affirmed and became afraid of other people's opinions. He became afraid to express himself in public and even afraid to do the things he was good at. He would become nervous and tremble when he saw a stage or a microphone. You really want to make a change, but you back down again and again.

I hug you and hope you feel warm and supported.

I understand how you feel. In junior high, you needed support, but you got a lot of negative feedback. This led to some limiting beliefs, such as thinking you are not good enough or that others will not like you. When we have such beliefs, we care about what others think. This makes us afraid to express ourselves because we are afraid of being rejected.

But will our performance lead to doubt and disapproval? Surely there will also be affirmation and support.

Our own limiting beliefs make it hard for us to feel good about ourselves. We focus on the negative, which makes us feel worse. This is a vicious circle. You say you want to make a change, but how?

Relieving tension is not the most important thing. We need to change our beliefs, think positively, and be confident so we can face others openly.

My advice is:

Start by changing your beliefs and thinking patterns. Replace negative beliefs with positive ones.

The Pygmalion effect says you'll get what you expect. You don't get what you want, but what you expect.

If you expect things to go well, they will. If you believe they won't, they won't.

If you expect things to go well, they will. If you think they won't, they won't.

It's important to have positive beliefs and attitudes. When we believe good things will happen, we act positively and get positive results.

If we think we can't do it, we won't.

We expect to become what we want and work hard to do so. If we feel we are not good enough, we will remain stagnant.

Believe you can perform in public, change yourself, become eloquent, and overcome your nervousness.

So, tell yourself: I believe I can do it, I support myself, I am safe...

Start with what you're good at, find your inner strength, and build up your self-confidence.

We feel nervous and anxious in public because we lack self-confidence and need the approval of others. We can't win everyone's approval. No matter how outstanding you are, there will still be people who like you and people who don't.

We seek external affirmation because we lack self-affirmation.

If we learn to affirm and recognize ourselves, we won't care about what others think. To achieve self-affirmation, we need to do things we're good at. By trying our best to do these things, we'll see our value, gain a sense of achievement, and build inner confidence.

Keep doing what you're good at. Set small goals. If you're good at sports, exercise more. If you can jump rope 50 times a day, try to jump 60 times. Celebrate your progress. Keep going until you reach your goal.

3. You need to prepare and practice for public speaking. Learn some skills and methods too.

Take public speaking as an example. Not everyone is afraid of speaking on stage at first. Mr. Fan Deng once said that he was also nervous when he gave speeches. Later, he became less nervous when he focused on how he could convey the knowledge points well. When I first started teaching students, I was also nervous because I was too concerned about how they would view me. But when I later adjusted my focus to how to speak so that children would understand and like it more, I became less nervous.

It's normal to feel nervous when speaking or performing in public. Thinking about it this way will help you relax.

Second, we need to be informed to feel stable on stage. If we prepare, we can reduce our nervousness.

A good speech leaves a lasting impression on the audience. When a person is knowledgeable and has done a lot of practice, they will be more at ease in front of a crowd.

Dong Yuhui didn't suddenly become eloquent. He read a lot and gave many speeches before he was successful.

So, when we prepare, we can perform well.

Don't expect perfection. Strive for completion, then relax and speak from the heart. You'll gain supporters who share your interests and ideals. This will give you strength to keep going. Even if you're not a great speaker, there will always be people who like you.

Good luck!

Good morning, colleague. I can see the confusion you are facing, and I extend my support to you.

You are experiencing some behavioral issues. Please accept this gesture of support and comfort.

Please confirm whether your social problems originated in junior high school.

You indicated that during your tenure at the junior high school, you experienced a notable increase in self-consciousness and a concomitant fear of others' opinions when you did not receive affirmation.

You are now going to express yourself in public, and you become uncontrollably nervous when you see the stage and the microphone.

It is likely that you had a negative experience in junior high school when you were required to express yourself in public.

What is your plan of action going forward?

I recommend that you consult with a professional counselor to address the psychological trauma you have experienced in public.

You may also wish to consider seeking the assistance of the school psychologist at your junior high school.

The school counselor offers free services to students.

If you do not wish to consult with a psychologist, there are alternative methods you can use to relieve your current nervousness.

If you have stuffed animals or dolls at home, you can utilize them as a practice audience for public speaking in junior high school.

With time, you will learn to treat public audiences in junior high school as you would practice audiences at home.

Additionally, you may find it beneficial to repeat the following affirmation three times a day in the mirror: "I am the best, I am the best; I can surely face the audience offstage with ease."

Make a habit of offering yourself positive suggestions on a daily basis, and you will gradually rediscover your former sense of confidence and optimism.

I hope you are able to find an effective solution to the problem you are facing as soon as possible.

Please be advised that these are the only suggestions I am currently able to offer.

I hope my responses are helpful and inspiring to you. I am available to answer any further questions you may have.

Best regards, Yixinli

Hello!

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider the experiences of primary school bullies and how they might have shaped your approach to the stage and microphone in junior high school. It could be beneficial to reflect on how you felt at the time and the impact it had on you.

It might be helpful to recall the triggering event in order to explore the differences before and after social interaction. It could be beneficial to consider that the person who started it all needs to finish it, as this may help to break down and change a stable pattern. Identifying the driving force behind it could assist in prescribing the most appropriate remedy.

Adolescence is about identity, and the goal is to be consistent inside and out. It is possible that not being affirmed in junior high could make you feel unrecognized by your peers or others, which might hinder your self-confidence.

It might be helpful to consider that withdrawing from a situation could potentially reinforce feelings of timidity.

We hope the following methods, provided for reference only, will help you find ways to quickly relieve tension.

1. It may be helpful to accept that nervousness is a natural part of the human experience. By allowing these feelings to exist and learning to live with them, we can free up energy to focus on a solution-oriented approach.

2. Consider the possibility of self-hypnosis. If a fairy were to help you solve all your problems, how would you feel when you woke up the next day? Who might notice these changes first?

You might find it helpful to tap into positive resources. Perhaps you could awaken the positive resources in your past social experiences, formulate feasible strategies, start with small actions, and quantify the requirements for reaching the goal.

I hope that by sharing my experience, I can be of some help to you. Wishing you all the best!

Hello. Thanks for trusting me and asking me your question. From what you said, I can see you've been having problems recently. Before we talk about the problem, I'd like to give you a big hug to show you I care.

It's normal to be concerned about other people's opinions when you're young. This is when you start to learn about yourself and who you are. You need people around you to support you and encourage you to grow.

You may have received little encouragement, which has led to a fear of expressing yourself in public. You may even avoid doing what you are good at. You become nervous when you see a stage and microphone. You want to make a change, but you become timid with each retreat. This is regrettable.

If you want, you can ask a psychologist to help you with your problems. This will take time, but you can get better.

This is just my opinion. Take care of yourself.

It appears that the author's self-confidence was significantly affected by negative experiences during his junior high school years. These experiences led to a gradual depletion and diminution of his original trust in himself. It is understandable that at that age, the author questioned and rejected himself when faced with the outside world's lack of recognition.

The transition to junior high school typically coincides with the onset of adolescence and the emergence of a desire for autonomy and social expansion. During this period, even minor external stimuli can be magnified, potentially influencing self-perception and behavior. This phenomenon bears resemblance to the experimental approach employed by the behaviorist school, wherein a gorilla was placed in a cage with food at the entrance.

Upon opening the cage of the gorilla, the experimenter shocked the animal with electricity. This caused the gorilla to experience discomfort, prompting it to withdraw its hand. Despite its hunger, the gorilla would not open the cage to obtain food after being shocked a few times. This behavior suggests that the gorilla had formed an association between the act of opening the cage and the sensation of being shocked by electricity. To avoid the discomfort associated with the shock, the gorilla avoided opening the cage.

The same can be said of human beings. At a certain point in time, when they are confident about doing something, they believe that they can do it well and will receive recognition and praise. However, after the task is completed, if they do not receive the recognition and praise that they expected, they will experience varying degrees of confusion. Furthermore, this confusion is inversely proportional to age. The younger the individual is, the more confused they will be, because they cannot figure out why this is the case with their current thinking ability, and they cannot understand why others treat them this way. When they cannot understand this and cannot get an answer from the outside world, they will instinctively blame themselves for these confusing issues. This can also be said to be human instinct, but it has nothing to do with whether they have done their best in reality.

The disapproval of others is not a matter that can be controlled by the questioner. It is a matter that concerns only the disapproving parties and is therefore outside the questioner's control. It is not reasonable to expect universal approval. Even a great person like Chairman Mao Zedong had people who praised him and people who criticized him. It is therefore to be expected that, even among the most admirable people, there will be those who disapprove.

In the event of encountering disapproval from others, it is imperative to accept this reality and refrain from concerning oneself with the opinions of others. Instead, it is essential to seek answers within oneself, determine one's own desires, and then strive to fulfill one's potential.

In my view, the most constructive response for the original poster would be to acknowledge the impact of previous events on his current situation. Rather than engaging in self-defeating behaviour, such as attempting to impose rigid restrictions on his actions, it would be more beneficial to adopt a more flexible and open-minded approach. This would entail recognising that past actions may not have been entirely satisfactory, but that they are now in the past and that there is room for improvement. The key is to cultivate a mindset of acceptance and to embrace the idea that shortcomings are an inherent part of the learning process. This allows for a more constructive and flexible approach to problem-solving, whereby challenges can be identified and addressed in a gradual and adaptive manner. It is also worth noting that seeking the guidance of a qualified psychologist or therapist can be an invaluable step in addressing deeper psychological issues.

Gaining insight into the mind can help us to share more often. I'm speaking to myself here.

If I might humbly offer my experience as a training instructor to the questioner, I hope it might be of some help to you.

I would like to suggest that there might be a difference between being a social butterfly or having strong interpersonal skills and thinking that you can easily go up to the podium and speak freely just because you are eloquent. It's important to remember that just because you are usually good at communicating with people, you don't necessarily blush when talking to anyone, and you can express yourself freely, it doesn't necessarily mean that you think you will definitely have no problem anywhere, including on stage.

From my own experience, I have found that, regardless of one's mental strength, it often takes a significant amount of experience and determination to perform on stage without feeling nervous.

Before we proceed, it might be helpful to clarify one concept: there can be a difference between what we say and what we do.

1. It would be fair to say that not being affirmed can be a significant challenge for a stage performer.

The stage itself is a very prominent position. For someone who has never performed on stage before, having the courage to do so is a significant achievement and a remarkable accomplishment.

Such a place with an aura around it, where you stand and so many eyes are watching you, can be a challenging environment. Having confidence can help to navigate these situations.

It is thought that confidence can come from two sources: the belief you have in yourself, and the opinions of others. These two types of confidence are thought to be crucial for a performer on stage.

Without confidence in oneself, it can be challenging to believe that one has the courage to face this mental challenge. It can be difficult to feel at ease and not be nervous when walking onto the stage. On the other hand, positive comments and encouragement from others can provide the motivation to take the stage and help one to effectively control their nerves.

It is therefore understandable that the questioner felt unappreciated during her junior high school years, which may have led to a fear of self-expression in public in the future.

How might one approach this kind of challenge? As long as it is a challenge, there must be a solution.

It is understandable that it may be challenging to move on from initial disapproval or rejection. However, it is important to recognize that these experiences are part of the past and do not define who you are today.

You may have experienced some challenges in the past, but it is important to remember that you have the capacity to overcome your fear of the stage. Having confidence in yourself is essential. If you don't believe in your abilities, it can be difficult for others to do so as well.

It is important to remember that it is not the thing itself that breaks a person down, but rather one's own thoughts and opinions.

2. Regardless of external opinions, it is advisable to take control of the stage and manage your stress levels.

If a performer on stage cannot even bear to hear a single word of doubt or criticism, it may be challenging for them to maintain a long-lasting stage career. Even if you are able to become a rising star on stage and an excellent representative who is not nervous in the face of any number of people, it is likely that there will still be people who question your stage self-expression and there will still be people who do not approve of you.

This is a very common experience for a stage performer. Therefore, whether now or in the future, if you aspire to become an experienced stage performer, it would be beneficial to develop the ability to withstand any comments others may make about you. Additionally, it is important to view both positive and negative comments as constructive feedback.

Given that the stage is a subjective medium, it is important to recognize that absolute perfection is not attainable.

From my own experience, I have found that if one is unable to tolerate any form of questioning or negation, there is a tendency to encounter a growing number of voices that are less genuine and more insincere. When there is a reduction in the authentic and an increase in the inauthentic, it can lead to a challenging situation.

One possible solution to stage fright is simply to talk more.

If you were to inquire as to whether there is a beneficial method for addressing stage fright, I would suggest that there is. It is a single word: talk.

I would like to suggest that the solution may lie in increasing one's exposure to the situation. When I first started as a vocational training instructor, I took selfies of myself every day and recorded all the lectures I gave. I imagine that it must have been quite nerve-wracking to start going on stage.

I would like to suggest that I start by practicing behind closed doors. If I become proficient in what I want to talk about, it will naturally lay an effective foundation for not being so nervous when I go on stage. Have you ever thought about what the easiest way to get nervous when you go on stage might be?

If you find yourself suddenly without words, you may experience what is commonly referred to as "kak!"

This is a common pitfall that many newcomers to the stage often encounter. Why is this the case?

This means that it is not necessary to be proficient in what you are talking about. If you can recite it backwards, you may experience some nervousness and there may be a short pause, but you will not forget what comes next. If you would like to reduce your nervousness and boost your self-confidence before going on stage, it may be helpful to keep talking, and keep talking, before you go on stage. I remember that when I started, I felt a bit sick whenever I opened my mouth.

Later, when I became a professional lecturer, I often advised my students that in order to become a qualified training instructor, they needed to push themselves to speak more and more, until they felt ready. With this approach, they would be able to go on stage. You may think I'm exaggerating a bit, but this is one of the techniques I've found helpful in effectively overcoming stage fright.

If I might offer one final thought, it would be this:

It is important to remember that becoming a genius in a field is not something that can be achieved overnight.

It is important to allow yourself the space to make mistakes and embrace your imperfections.

For reasons that may not be immediately apparent.

I believe that those you consider geniuses have all undergone rigorous training.

I believe it would be fair to say that there is no one.

I would venture to say that no one has never had any stage experience.

And walk onto the stage and speak with confidence.

If there is indeed such a thing,

I feel that this could perhaps be described as aimless: chatting.

I believe that the stage is a sacred space.

I believe that every performer on stage could benefit from it.

It would be greatly appreciated if this could be respected.

It would be beneficial to approach this with a sense of dedication and commitment.

Good day. I am a heart exploration coach.

Additionally, she is a practicing psychologist.

Ms. Liu, the panda

1. The stage fright mentality is often observed in settings with a high degree of social interaction, such as public speaking or performances in front of a large audience.

Those experiencing stage fright report feeling exposed in the spotlight, surrounded by all kinds of stares and comments, and experiencing unusual fluctuations in their body and mind. They report feeling anxious, experiencing a racing heart, increased blood flow, profuse sweating, and a strong sense of oppression. They also report experiencing difficulty expressing themselves fluently and performing to the level they had prepared for and desired in a personal environment.

This impedes our ability to perform at our optimal level. Even in the absence of a genuine need to perform on stage, the mere imagination of such a scenario or the presence of related objects, such as a microphone or podium, can evoke our psychological fear of being in the spotlight, thereby triggering the same psychological discomfort.

Dear friend, I have had similar experiences, although they may be different. It is my hope that I can provide you with some perspectives to help you better understand yourself. I want to tell you that stage fright is indeed scary, but it is not something we cannot overcome once it has set in. People's psychological growth is fluid, and we will encounter many variables. We will continue to solve our own confusion and become a braver version of ourselves.

It is imperative to have confidence in one's own abilities.

2. "Stage fright" is not actually innate for many people, and the causes are different. It is important to note that understanding the causes and analyzing and attributing them to oneself is not a form of self-judgment. It is crucial to move forward and avoid remaining stuck in the past.

I was a highly self-assured child until the sixth grade of primary school. My teachers permitted me to deliver speeches and represent the class in certain performances. At that time, just as you have experienced, I had a strong sense of self-assurance. Candidly, the applause from the audience, the recognition of my teachers, and the encouragement of my classmates provided me with a profound psychological experience.

It can be assumed that at some point in the past, the subject received a considerable amount of positive reinforcement and amassed a substantial amount of goodwill. It is likely that this was experienced as enjoyable. However, it is also probable that the subject encountered some negative feedback.

Our psychological attention is naturally drawn towards positive experiences, such as the warmth of the sun. However, the process of maturation is not a linear trajectory. It is inevitable that we will encounter setbacks and face disappointments along the way.

Such frustration often arises when one is experiencing a peak emotional state.

The precise point at which this transformation began is unclear, but one of my classmates, who had previously been a close friend, began to exhibit altered behavior. She no longer expressed a desire to engage in play with me, and instead sought to exclude me by encouraging other children to join her. When I attempted to assume a leadership role in the morning reading session, she would often prompt a few other children to join her in derisive laughter directed at me.

Even when I was on the podium and the teacher requested that I deliver a mock speech, she was situated in the audience. However, she made peculiar hand gestures and grimaces, including extending her tongue and rolling her eyes. I had never stuttered previously, yet I suddenly became immobilized.

After the teacher noticed this and interrupted the student, she exhibited a slight return to composure. However, in the wake of this momentary lapse, I found myself questioning whether my performance had been inadequate.

One might inquire whether this individual could be considered a friend. As it transpired, during the formal school-wide competition, she refrained from laughing at me or otherwise distracting me while I was on the stage. Nevertheless, I sensed the presence of a subconscious auditory perception of mirth.

I was unsuccessful on that occasion.

I have recounted my experience to you, my friend. It required a significant period of time for me to overcome and adapt once more. However, I have finally managed to emerge from this situation. Despite still experiencing some degree of nervousness, I am no longer as fearful as I once was. I have come to recognize that the underlying cause of your stage fright is likely rooted in the experience of rejection from peers or authority figures during your pubertal years, which subsequently led to a gradual loss of self-confidence.

This is an unproductive and self-perpetuating cycle.

When a sense of inferiority arises, it will affect one's performance, which will lead to new setbacks. With repeated reinforcement, the psychological inertia will lead to a sense of helplessness, and unpleasant memories will be awakened like a conditioned reflex.

Nevertheless, it is challenging to refrain from social interaction, particularly when engaged in collaborative endeavors or meetings. Regardless of the methodology employed, the most crucial element is to provide oneself with a modicum of fortitude and motivation.

3. In consideration of your circumstances, I offer the following recommendations:

(1) It is imperative to consider not only past successes and failures, but also the present circumstances.

The past serves as a mirror, yet it can also cause psychological disparity. The more applause and recognition one receives in the past, the more one will be affected by the loss and gain of the present. Prior to attempting to break out of one's current situation and become something different, it is essential to understand one's true desires, comprehend one's current circumstances, clarify one's goals and the gap between them, make them concrete, and divide them into smaller goals.

If one is overly concerned with the opinions and comments of others, it may indicate a lack of internal standards for self-evaluation and a susceptibility to external influences. In such cases, it may be beneficial to take some time for introspection and self-reflection. To illustrate, if one aspires to develop a specific skill, it is essential to determine the requisite amount of daily practice and assess the presence of a self-management routine. This process can be conceptualized as the establishment of a personal coordinate system.

One must then reinforce this belief in oneself continually in order to gain trust in one's own judgment. This enables one to overcome confusion caused by external factors.

The act of believing in oneself requires a certain degree of courage.

(2) It is necessary to replace old thinking patterns with new habits, and this process must be gradual.

It is important to note that the transformation from an introverted to an extroverted personality, or the overcoming of stage fright, cannot be achieved instantaneously. While the desire to perform well is understandable, the application of excessive pressure may lead to the unintended consequence of impairing one's ability to succeed. From a behavioral psychology perspective, the reinforcement and stimulation should not be excessive at the outset, as this may result in frustration.

It is recommended that the individual undergoes systematic desensitization training. This may be initiated by setting aside a period of approximately 30 minutes each day, in a secure and tranquil setting, to visualize oneself on stage. Upon experiencing an uneasy sensation, it is advised to immediately regulate one's respiration and relax the entire body. This process should be repeated persistently, with the intensity gradually augmented.

Subsequently, it is recommended that the individual attempt to frequent a crowded setting, such as a café or library, at least once a week. During this period, it is anticipated that the subject will experience a certain degree of nervousness. Therefore, it is advised that they engage in an activity that will occupy their attention, such as reading, writing, or listening to music. It is crucial to remind oneself not to be influenced by external factors.

The duration may be gradually increased.

It is acknowledged that the process of overcoming this issue will undoubtedly be accompanied by fluctuations in body and mind. There will be a tendency to seek escape due to feelings of cowardice. It is often challenging to take the first step forward. Only when there is a gradual detachment from the perception of being "sensitive" can confidence be gradually regained.

(3) It is recommended that individuals be courageous and attempt to engage in activities that they find appealing, while simultaneously engaging in social interactions.

On occasion, individuals may experience a profound sense of apprehension regarding potential rejection, leading them to isolate themselves. However, it is important to recognize that such feelings are not exclusive to a single individual. At times, it can be beneficial to engage with the experiences and perspectives of others. Adopting a different point of view can facilitate a deeper understanding of the world.

It is thus possible that we may overcome our fear.

One may join online or offline psychological support groups to express oneself and communicate with professional psychological practitioners to obtain more objective advice on self-growth. When one sees the microphone and the stage, one should first calm one's physical fluctuations. This may be achieved through silent counting, gentle temple rubbing, deep breathing, or, if permitted by one's health, the consumption of small amounts of chocolate or other sweets.

It is imperative to overcome one's inner fear.

It is my sincere hope that you will continue to improve.

I would like to express my gratitude for your attention.

I am Ms. Liu, a panda.

I am a listening therapist at One Psychology.

I await your correspondence. Please do not hesitate to contact me should you require further information.

The issue will be addressed from three principal perspectives. The initial step is to ascertain the root cause of the tension.

Secondly, it is advisable to learn techniques for the rapid alleviation of tension. Thirdly, it would be beneficial to enhance one's strength.

It is essential to identify the underlying causes of tension associated with the spotlight effect.

The term "spotlight effect" was first introduced by Zilowich and Savitsky in 1999. It refers to the phenomenon of individuals overestimating the degree of attention they receive from others. In other words, individuals tend to care a great deal about the impression they make on others, leading them to believe that they are observed and evaluated by others to a much greater extent than is actually the case.

As you stated, "In elementary school, I held the position of class president and exhibited a high level of confidence. However, in junior high school, I did not receive the same level of affirmation and began to experience an increasing concern and fear regarding the opinions of others. This eventually led to a fear of expressing myself in any public setting and a reluctance to engage in activities that I was previously adept at. I experience nervousness and tremors when I encounter a stage or microphone. I am motivated to make a change, yet I find myself repeatedly retreating and becoming increasingly timid."

It is evident that the current experience of anxiety in public settings can be attributed to the phenomenon of the "spotlight effect." This phenomenon can be understood as a result of an individual's perception that they are being held to a particularly high standard of performance, with close attention paid to their actions.

The aforementioned tension ultimately results in a loss of confidence in one's abilities.

2. Methods of relaxation.

It is important to understand the relationship between consequences and impact.

It is important to recognize that the majority of situations do not have as severe consequences as they may initially appear. This is because events that seem to attract attention in everyday life are often quickly forgotten.

Even those events that have achieved a significant degree of online visibility will eventually recede from public attention.

In light of these considerations, it becomes evident that even if an action has a negative impact and receives attention from others at the time, with the passage of time, not many people will remember things that did not have a significant impact on them.

Therefore, it is unnecessary to experience excessive anxiety. It is advisable to face the audience with a normal heart and perform one's assigned task to the best of one's abilities. There is no need to exert excessive pressure on oneself, as minor shortcomings will not have a negative impact on the outcome.

2. Utilize the method of assumption to eliminate internal fears.

At this juncture, it is advisable to reflect on the principal elements of the spotlight effect. To this end, it is recommended to take out a piece of paper and a pen and to list these elements.

The events should be listed in the order in which they come to mind. The event at the top of the list is the one that has the greatest impact on the subject, otherwise it would not have been considered first. By organizing the subject's memories, a clear and intuitive understanding of the subject's psychological state can be gained.

It is important to gain an understanding of the issues that are of greatest concern to you.

One might as well consider the potential negative consequences of such occurrences. Could these negative impacts be transformed or eliminated in some way?

To what extent do these factors influence your emotional state? Through this process of analysis, you will be able to anticipate the probable outcome of the situation.

Indeed, human stress and fear frequently originate from the unknown. To illustrate, consider the potential psychological impact of being the subject of ridicule in a public speaking context.

One might inquire as to the potential consequences of receiving criticism from one's superior for inadequate performance. Such outcomes may be attributed to an individual's aspiration for excellence and their elevated self-expectations, which engender a heightened sense of concern.

Subsequently, following the prediction and mental preparation for the worst-case scenario, a coping strategy will be formulated, thereby ensuring preparedness. In this manner, the aforementioned preparation will result in a reduction of stress levels.

It is therefore advisable to be prepared for all eventualities and to formulate an emergency plan of action, which will provide a sense of reassurance. This is also an effective method of alleviating anxiety.

3. Methods for Attaining Greater Strength

The underlying cause of your anxiety is a perceived loss of confidence. What factors contributed to this loss of confidence?

The discrepancy between your exemplary performance during your formative years and your subsequent mediocre performance in junior high school has instilled a sense of loss and a subsequent lack of self-confidence.

It is therefore imperative that we cultivate strength from within as soon as possible.

Inner strength can be defined as strength at the spiritual level. It is important to note that one should not be afraid of negative comments and should face reality with courage. Furthermore, it is essential to accept the shortcomings of oneself and others at this particular stage of life.

It is important to recognize that one's current abilities may not represent one's full potential. Despite remaining areas for improvement, with dedication and effort, one can aspire to excel.

This will assist in the restoration of confidence and the acquisition of the fortitude and resilience necessary to facilitate personal growth.

To be strong externally, one must undertake a careful analysis of one's current shortcomings and the gap between oneself and others. This analysis should then inform the formulation of a reasonable improvement plan, which should be implemented in order to facilitate gradual improvement and eventual surpassing of others. As a result of this process, self-confidence will likely experience a significant enhancement.

Subsequently, the individual will regain the self-assurance that was previously evident.

The aforementioned considerations must be taken into account.

In conclusion, it is essential to confront the present circumstances. This entails two key elements: firstly, relinquishing the constraints imposed by one's thoughts and acknowledging the reality that achieving one's ideal state is not feasible in the immediate future.

Secondly, it is imperative to adopt a positive and enterprising attitude, thereby gaining confidence through continuous improvement.

It is important to recognize that one is still in a relatively early stage of life. It is reasonable to expect that circumstances will improve in a positive manner.

It is my hope that this exchange will facilitate the acquisition of greater confidence and the liberation of the participants from the psychological burdens that they currently bear.