Fall in love with a girl who has a boyfriend in a distant place, how should I deal with it?

The first thing you need to do is take a step back and think things through. If you really like this girl and think she's worth pursuing, you can consider the following approaches:

1. Keep the lines of communication open and respect her decisions. It's important to remember that long-distance relationships and girls with boyfriends are not easy to handle. While it's natural to want to be in a relationship, it's crucial to focus on your own life and goals.

2. Build a connection: Try to build a connection with her, but don't be too frequent or enthusiastic, so as not to offend or misunderstand her. Gradually build trust and a connection by chatting, sharing interesting things, asking about her latest news, etc.

3. Be patient. If you really want to pursue her, you may need to be patient for a while until she ends her current relationship or her feelings for you change. During this period, stay positive and optimistic, and focus on your own growth and development.

4. Don't lose sight of who you are: While pursuing her, don't forget to maintain your own independence and self-confidence. Focusing on your own interests, career and relationships will help you maintain balance and confidence in the pursuit process.

Above all, you need to respect her feelings and decisions while also taking responsibility for your own feelings and life. Remember, this is not something that can be solved overnight; it requires time and patience.

If you feel uncomfortable or unsure, it's best to stop in time to avoid any unnecessary harm.

From your description, it is evident that you are experiencing a conflict and a degree of emotional distress.

As a psychological counselor, I would like to offer my understanding of the situation from a psychological perspective.

The question posed is whether one should pursue a romantic relationship with a woman who has a long-distance boyfriend. The individual in question has been in a relationship with this woman for a considerable period of time and has engaged in activities that are typically associated with couples. However, the woman has consistently asserted that the two are not suited for each other and has expressed affection for the individual, yet she is unable to move on from her boyfriend. As the duration of the relationship has increased, the individual has become more emotionally invested, despite a lack of desire to do so. This has led to the perception of a future with the woman. The individual finds themselves in a state of helplessness, monitoring the woman's behavior closely. They fantasize about a scenario in which her boyfriend returns and leaves her, which they believe would be devastating.

Intimate relationship conflicts are often intractable.

The first step is to gain an understanding of one's own character traits.

Please describe your relationship with your parents. Additionally, please describe your feelings regarding this relationship.

What are her positive attributes? Despite having a romantic partner, she does not reject your affections. Additionally, she is ambivalent about maintaining an ambiguous relationship with you and a romantic relationship with her boyfriend in a different city.

She displays a lack of clarity regarding boundaries and exhibits emotional instability. Do you feel at ease and relaxed in her presence? This necessitates self-awareness and introspective examination.

Secondly, it is essential to gain an understanding of the girl's character traits.

It is essential to ascertain how the subject in question maintains her boundaries when spending time with you. This necessitates open and constructive dialogue between you both, as a lack of communication may result in the exacerbation of your conflicted attachment patterns.

Thirdly, it would be beneficial to examine the nature of your relationship and identify whether it aligns with the characteristics of ambivalent attachment. While you may possess the resources you desire, the presence of guilt and self-blame suggests that your relationship may be experiencing some degree of instability. Conversely, an intimate relationship that is characterised by chaos is inherently unstable, whereas one that is harmonious requires a focus on stability. Given that this relationship is causing you distress, it may be helpful to engage in professional counselling to gain insight into the underlying unconscious conflict. By exploring and analysing the relationship in a safe and stable counselling environment, you can gain a deeper understanding of the issues at hand. This will enable you to make an informed decision about the future of your relationship, whether it is to remain together or to separate.

Hello, question asker. I can see you're feeling confused right now, and I'm here to help.

Let's take a look at what's going on with you, my friend.

You know that with a girl, the two of you have no future because she has a boyfriend in a different city.

But you are still stuck in it, sweetie.

This might be related to your attachment pattern.

This can be traced back to a relationship you had with your mother when you were just a little baby.

Maybe at that time, she didn't respond to your needs right away every time you cried.

This can lead to an anxious attachment pattern that you develop after growing up.

It's totally normal to treat your partner as your lifeline and hold on to them desperately, even though you know they're not right for you.

If this is the case, it might be a good idea to chat with a professional psychologist.

I really think you should stop the relationship with her as soon as you can.

This way, you can avoid letting her damage you any more, and save your energy for more positive things!

I really think that, since your current problem falls into the category of the original family, you should seek help from a professional counselor, not just an instant listener.

I really hope this helps!

I really hope you can find a solution to your problem soon.

I really hope my answer was helpful and inspiring for you! I'm the one who responded, and I'm studying hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, the world and I love you! Wishing you the best!

Take care of yourself!