Family arguments have always been frequent from childhood to adulthood, feeling deeply concerned yet wanting to escape.

Hello! I just wanted to send you a warm hug from afar.

I can tell you're concerned about your family, worried, but also feel guilty and powerless about not being able to support them better, especially since you married far away.

No matter how far you go, you can't escape the impact of your original family's trauma. Our bodies remember, and we need to face the inner trauma they've caused us head-on. Otherwise, it won't just disappear with time and distance. It'll affect our new lives too.

There's a concept in psychology called "relational individuation." It basically means that even if you leave home and move away, the influence of your original family will always be there. What you can do is accept how your parents interact with each other and the impact your original family has had on you. But as long as you're open to change, you can completely move on from these issues and create a new life for yourself.

At the same time, you have to accept that it's tough to save your parents and your original family. You'll only be able to support them when you've got a good life of your own and have reconciled with your original family and parents. If you don't, you'll never be able to move on from it.

Everyone has what it takes to cope with and change their situation, as long as they're willing.

I'm Lily, the little listener at the Q&A Pavilion. I just wanted to say that I love you all and I love the world.

Life has positioned you as the family's primary support system, despite the challenges you face in finding respite. Despite your desire to withdraw, you continue to bear responsibilities that do not belong to you.

Human growth is a process of continuous iteration. The aspiration to break away from one's original family and pursue a new life in pursuit of happiness is a common one. However, it is often overlooked that escape alone cannot eradicate the residual influence of one's past family. The impact of one's original family can become deeply embedded in one's life, making it challenging to disassociate oneself from it.

Your mother's trust in you is indicative of your inherent goodness, yet it also speaks volumes about her sadness. It appears that your mere presence has become the solution to every problem.

Such a dependency precludes the possibility of familial growth. When problems arise, they are invariably solved by the same individual. However, there is also one's own family, and an exclusive focus on one's former family can result in a lack of attention to one's current family.

Abandoning one's problems will not facilitate their resolution. Failure to identify the underlying causes of these issues will result in their recurrence in various forms.

Prior to attaining the capacity to resolve issues, your mother resided independently for an extended period. During this time, she was able to rely on you as a source of support, providing her with a sense of security and stability.

It is important to recognize, however, that individuals possess a limited capacity to endure. While one can provide assistance to their family and mother, if she lacks awareness of the underlying issue, it may prove challenging to sustain this support over time.

While gratitude for past events is warranted, it is also essential to recognize the potential dangers. It is unproductive to idealize one's own strength or that of one's family.

It is important to recognize that your absence will not necessarily result in the collapse of your family. They are still functioning and thriving without you, and they will continue to do so even in your absence.

Ultimately, they will be required to assume their own responsibilities.

It is imperative that you do not allow the influence of your original family to transform your family into a legacy from your past. The decision to let go should not be perceived as an act of escape.

It is of the utmost importance to provide yourself and your family with the opportunity to flourish. It is imperative to engage in a thorough reflection on how to confront your own existence and to envision the ideal trajectory of your life.

It is imperative not to allow the constraints of one's past to impede one's present existence.