Fear of going out alone, afraid to see acquaintances, often cry in pain, have a bad attitude towards family members.

Hello there!

It's not about what's going on around you. It's about how you see it. If you want to change, the first thing you need to do is change how you see the world.

I'd love to know why you see only the pessimistic and negative.

It's actually pretty easy to tell if someone is happy in life. Just observe their attitude towards themselves and you'll see. Happy people have a similar understanding and attitude: they know how to take care of themselves and treat others well. This is also in line with the Buddhist saying: you are me, I am you, we are one. From a psychological point of view, what we see and feel is a projection of our own inner responses, and it may not necessarily be the truth.

It's so sad when people with low self-esteem always see low self-esteem.

A confident person always sees confidence, and it's so inspiring to see!

It's totally normal to feel a bit nervous about going out alone or seeing acquaintances. We've all been there! It's also okay to feel a little down on the inside sometimes. We all have bad days, and that's okay. Try not to let it get you down.

&What are you afraid of when you go out and see acquaintances? Is it the outside world's opinion of you, or your inability to accept the opinions of others?

& Why is it unfair to treat family members badly, assuming that they are qualified family members? It's okay to feel this way! It might be because family members cannot meet your expectations, or it might be because you cannot accept your anger.

They feel like everyone is doing better than them and that they can't see a future for themselves. It's so sad! How did they come to this conclusion and why do they think their lives must be happier than others?

From this, it's not hard to see that the questioner is really struggling with some deep-seated disappointments. These feelings are affecting his view of himself and the world around him. This negative thinking is holding him back from taking action. As he says, he's not ready to make changes and doesn't want to exercise. So, if he's given up on saving himself, how can he see that help from others can make a difference and motivate him to act?

It's okay to make mistakes. We all do. The important thing is to learn from them and move on. Try to adjust your unreasonable perceptions and get rid of negative thinking. You've got this!

Let's say, for instance, that you're feeling a little blue. Everything you see is suddenly tinted with pessimism. If you spend your whole life thinking this way, you'll gradually lose the power to change your life. But what life really needs is the power to create! No matter how low your energy is, as long as you believe in yourself and are willing to change your life through your own strength, your life will change!

Keep that desire to explore alive and well! And remember to replace negative thinking with optimistic thinking.

[Look at things rationally, not through projection]

Projection is like a pair of tinted glasses. Sometimes, these glasses are brought to us by our parents, and sometimes we choose to wear them ourselves. How do we understand this?

If they felt their parents loved them less than they deserved, they'll probably pass on that feeling to their kids. It's a vicious cycle! Kids unconsciously take on their parents' perceptions, and as adults, it's tough for them to shake off the negative thoughts that come with them.

There's another group of people who, when they become adults, put on "colored glasses" on purpose. They want to meet their inner expectations. They use these glasses to evaluate others and themselves to feel good about themselves. But, unfortunately, it doesn't work out that way. The first thing to do is to accept yourself.

[Self-attribution, objective understanding of yourself]

Many of the questioner's problems come from a lack of clarity in their own understanding of themselves. This can lead to problems when we attribute problems to others. For example, if someone else does something that we don't approve of, we might blame them. If we're in a bad mood and our family can't make us feel better, we might blame them for causing the conflict. It can be hard to find the self-attributable cause, so we might develop a cynical outlook.

Oh, dear, what is the problem?

It's actually the result of an unbalanced perception. Just as we can't see the whole face of an apple from our own perspective if we want to see it clearly, we need to see it from different angles to see its full appearance. When we do this, our perception is more objective and complete. This also applies to understanding problems. If the questioner is still young and growing, it's a great chance for them to encounter conflicts and upgrade their cognition and continue to grow. However, if the questioner is already over the age of 30 and their world view is still distorted, it might not be the best for their later development.

Wishing you all the best!

Hello, I'm Liang Ning, Xinqing's assistant.

You are afraid of meeting people when you go out. You get angry with your family. You feel that other people are doing better than you. You want to change for the better, but you can't control yourself from watching TV.

First, understand this mentality. You feel inferior, so you're afraid to meet acquaintances because you think they'll gossip. You feel you can't see a future.

These are signs of low self-confidence. You protect your self-confidence by belittling yourself. You don't refute your faults.

The same goes for family members. You're like this, but they still don't treat you well.

Second, think about why you have low self-confidence. You probably received little attention and affirmation from your family when you were growing up.

Unmet needs from childhood. A feeling of abandonment.

You're happy with your friends because they pay more attention to you. You're cynical and depressed when you're alone.

Finally, how to solve this problem. You want to change, for example, you want to study hard, but you can't because of anxiety and poor self-control.

You can't study properly or learn. Start with simple homework. Don't set high goals. If you can't achieve them, you'll just stress.

Do simple things to achieve success and build self-confidence. You will change little by little.

Just do something. Even small steps help.