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By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024
Hello! I'd like to extend a warm hug from afar to you.
It is understandable to experience a certain level of apprehension when contemplating marriage. After all, it is a significant life event, one that can profoundly impact our happiness and quality of life in the years to come. What are your thoughts on this matter?
It might be helpful to allow yourself to have a proper fear of marriage. When a person has a certain fear of something, it can often motivate them to make better choices and preparations.
Perhaps, then, if you can try to understand the real needs behind your fear, you will be more accepting and understanding of your fears. This could help you avoid, deny, or doubt that you have psychological problems.
It might also be helpful to consider whether your desire and need to enter into marriage is strong enough. If you feel that you are very good in your current single state and don't have much need or desire for marriage, it's possible that the reason why you occasionally feel fear may be more due to external pressure. For example, if your parents urge you to get married or if your friends all enter into marriage, it's understandable that you might feel as if you are being excluded.
Secondly, you may have some concerns about your ability to maintain a healthy and loving marriage. It's possible that you've experienced a lack of self-love and confidence in the past, which might have affected your perception of your ability to be loved in a long-lasting and fulfilling way.
Marriage is a significant step for many people, and it's natural to have some imperfections. The goal is to strive for self-improvement and authenticity. Disagreements are inevitable in any relationship, but they don't necessarily reflect a lack of worthiness. Relationships are shaped by interactions, and challenges often arise when both parties are not fully engaged. This is an opportunity for personal growth, learning, and development within the relationship.
From your description, it seems that you are seeking an intimate and nourishing relationship. It is important to remember that marriage is a relationship between two people, but it is also a relationship between a person and themselves. When you can fully accept yourself and live in harmony with yourself, you will be better equipped to embark on a relationship.
My name is Lily, and I'm the little ear of the Q&A Museum. I just wanted to say that I love you all, and I hope you love me back.
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Comments
It's natural to feel a mix of excitement and anxiety about marriage; not everyone experiences it, but it's quite common. The fear might stem from the uncertainty of the future or the responsibility that comes with a lifelong commitment. At 30, you're at a point where reflecting on what you truly want can be very beneficial.
Premarital anxiety isn't inevitable, but it's certainly understandable given the significance of marriage. This duality of yearning and fear may come from societal expectations versus personal desires. Perhaps exploring these feelings with a therapist could offer some clarity and peace of mind.
Feeling panicked about marriage doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. It's a major life change, and it's okay to have mixed feelings. You might find it helpful to discuss your concerns with your partner or a trusted friend to better understand what's behind the anxiety and how to address it.