Feeling disliked by others, I want to handle it well yet escape from the crowd?

A cordial salutation to the landlord. It is unclear what age group you belong to, but if you are in adolescence and facing this situation, it is natural to feel excluded or misunderstood, particularly if the feeling stems from your teenage years, when we are often particularly sensitive to peer approval. The following are some ways to cope with and deal with these emotions:

1. Cognitive restructuring: It is important to recognize that individuals' expressions and behaviors often reflect their own state and are not necessarily directed at you. For instance, your classmate may be experiencing fatigue or a negative mood and not intend to target you.

It is important to learn to distinguish between the emotions of others and one's own sense of self-worth, and to avoid over-interpreting the emotions of others.

2. Enhance Self-Confidence: Cultivate interests and hobbies to augment one's sense of self-efficacy. When one possesses confidence in one's abilities, negative feedback from external sources will have a diminished impact.

It is important to remember that one's value is not contingent upon the opinions of others.

3. Social skills training: Those experiencing concern regarding potential misunderstanding or exclusion may benefit from learning fundamental social skills, such as smiling, greeting others, and active listening. These abilities can enhance communication and mitigate misunderstandings.

4. Emotional support system: It is recommended that individuals seek the counsel of a trusted friend, family member, or counselor with whom they can discuss their feelings and experiences. Having an individual with whom they can communicate and receive understanding can significantly reduce the psychological burden.

5. Mindfulness Meditation: The practice of mindfulness allows for a more objective observation of one's emotions, preventing them from exerting undue control. Through mindfulness meditation, individuals can learn to accept their feelings while maintaining autonomy over their actions.

6. Professional Help: In the event that one finds it challenging to overcome feelings of exclusion or if the condition is significantly impacting one's daily life, it is crucial to seek professional psychological counseling. A psychotherapist can provide targeted guidance and strategies to assist in overcoming social anxiety and fostering healthier relationships.

It is important to remember that misunderstanding is a common experience. The key to overcoming it is to adjust one's mindset and approach problems in a positive manner. It is essential not to let past experiences limit one's present self. By taking a courageous step forward, one can discover that the world is more forgiving and beautiful than one could have imagined.

Hello, question asker! I'm Jiang 61, and I'm excited to help you!

First of all, thank you so much for trusting us enough to tell us your problem and get some answers! Your question is: "I feel that other people hate me, and I want to deal with it but also escape from the crowd."

After reading your introduction, I have some thoughts that I'm really excited to discuss with you!

1. Introduction

You say, "I feel sad and hateful when I see other people's expressions on the street. I am surrounded by the fear of being hated. In junior high school, the expression of my classmate when he glanced at me caused me to feel hated. I wanted to be friends with him, but he never spoke to me. I felt hated and isolated myself after that." But then something amazing happened! You realized that you care a lot about other people's stares.

1️⃣, feeling

The questioner will be surrounded by a kaleidoscope of feelings. For example, if someone makes a certain expression on the street, you will feel that it is directed at you, and you will feel a rush of emotions—sadness, fear, and excitement all at once! It can be seen that you care a lot about other people's stares.

2️⃣, Being hated

When you see the expressions of people on the street, you'll be flooded with memories of that look your junior high school classmate gave you when he glanced at you. It was a look of contempt, disdain, and disgust, and it'll take your breath away!

You once had the desire to be friends with this classmate because he wouldn't speak to you. You thought you were being hated and rejected, but you were actually just experiencing a normal human emotion! After that, did you isolate yourself or did you think others were isolating you?

2. The reason for avoiding crowds

1️⃣, inferiority complex

I'm excited to share more about this fascinating topic! Let's dive into the world of inferiority complexes.

Low self-esteem is a complex psychological and emotional feeling that manifests itself in a number of ways. It can be seen in an individual's low evaluation of their own abilities and qualities, as well as in their tendency to belittle and look down on themselves. It can also be observed in a psychological state of worrying about losing the respect of others.

And a sense of inferiority. This psychological state stems from the perception of one's own inadequacy, which may be due to physical factors, psychological factors, or a combination of the two. It may also be caused by experiences of incompetence or inferiority, as well as perceptions of self-worth compared to the median value rate in society or a comparison object.

? Unconfident

From the questioner's narrative, it is clear that the questioner is very insecure and has a strong inferiority complex. But here's the good news! The way someone looks at you can make you feel uncomfortable, as if they are judging you or disgusted with you.

2️⃣, care

And of course, care!

When it comes to care, it's all about paying attention, paying heed, caring about, and valuing something or someone. It's about attention to detail and emotional care for others. And it's a wonderful thing!

Not understanding oneself

The reason why the questioner cares so much about what others think is that the questioner has the incredible opportunity to learn more about themselves and gain more self-awareness. This not only causes the questioner to be very self-deprecating, but also to rely excessively on the evaluation of others to determine his/her status, sense of worth, etc.

3️⃣. The influence of life in the original family

The original family

The original family refers to the family in which one was born and raised. The atmosphere of this family, its traditions and customs, the role of children in the family and the way they learn from their family members, and the relationships between family members all affect how children behave in their new family.

The living situation has a big impact!

Guess what! The habit of being afraid to initiate communication with others because the questioner cares about what other people think is not something that has only developed recently. It's actually related to the living conditions in the original family!

It feels like the questioner was accused, criticized, and judged a lot by their parents in their original family, which made it impossible for them to understand their true self. But now they have the chance to become whoever they want to be! They care a lot about other people's evaluations, perceptions, and stares of them, and they also have very little self-confidence. But they're ready to change that!

Now for the fun part! Let's dive into the solutions. 3. What to do

1️⃣. Get to know yourself!

Know yourself!

Knowing yourself is the key to success! It's knowing who you are, where you come from, and where you can go. It's having a clear understanding of your own strengths, weaknesses, values, interests, goals, and potential.

Enhance your self-awareness!

We absolutely need to understand ourselves, and we can do that by improving our self-awareness! Self-awareness is the ability to gain insight and understanding of oneself. It includes self-observation and self-evaluation. Through self-observation, we can correctly perceive our own perceptions, thoughts, and intentions; judge and evaluate our own thoughts, expectations, behaviors, and personality traits, which is an important condition for self-regulation.

This is how we can stop caring about the opinions and judgments of others!

2️⃣, build self-confidence!

Self-confidence is an essential ingredient for success!

Self-confidence is an amazing psychological state that involves an individual's trust and belief in their abilities. It's the degree of trust in one's ability to successfully complete a certain activity. This trust is not only an assessment of one's abilities, but also a psychological characteristic that affects an individual's behavior and performance.

Let's build self-confidence!

We build self-confidence by getting to know ourselves, doing the things we like, are good at, and are capable of doing, and building self-confidence through repeated successes. This is how we can see our own value and achievements! We inspire ourselves to have the courage to overcome difficulties, meet challenges, and enable ourselves to excel in our careers, love lives, and all aspects of life.

3️⃣, Interpersonal relationships

Human relationships

Interpersonal relationships are the wonderful, psychological relationships that we establish in the process of mutual interaction in social life. These relationships are formed in order to meet each other's needs, and they can be expressed in so many different ways! These include interactions such as attraction, rejection, cooperation, competition, leadership, and obedience.

Let's dive into the world of interpersonal relationships!

If you want to break away from the crowd and break through to a new level, you've got to start interacting with others and building relationships! First, you can begin to understand, trust, and support each other, establish friendly relationships, and meet each other's needs through mutual understanding, communication, and problem-solving in a small group with trusted people.

From then on, the world is our oyster! We can open up socially, gradually form groups, gain social resources and support, enhance our personal abilities and gain a wider social circle.

The original poster, the living conditions in the original family may have caused us some growing pains, such as being concerned about other people's opinions, lack of confidence, and being afraid to communicate with others. But there's no need to worry! As long as we are willing to get to know ourselves again, build up our confidence, and interact with others boldly, we can change ourselves, gain confidence, and start our lives again.

Believe in yourself! You can do it!

And finally, I wish the original poster a happy life!

Hello, question asker. I can see the confusion you are facing now, and I'm here to help.

Your classmate in junior high school glanced at you, and you felt he hated you.

That's just your own thinking.

It is not a fact.

You need to learn to distinguish between your own thoughts and the facts.

There is a fundamental difference between the two.

I like the saying, "Outside the door, there is only ourselves, no one else."

You may be affected by the "spotlight effect" in psychology.

In today's fast-paced society, people are focused on what they're doing and don't pay much attention to expressions and the like.

So don't worry about what people on the street are thinking or feeling. It's not about you.

Seek help from a professional counselor if you feel easily influenced.

A counselor is a professional who can provide better advice.

I am confident that you will find a solution to your problem soon.

That's all I have to say on the matter.

I am confident that my above answer is helpful and inspiring to you, the questioner. As the answerer, I can assure you that I study hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, the world and I love you. Best wishes!

I am confident that you will find the answer you are looking for.