Feeling that thinking has slowed down, communication is difficult, and unable to understand others' meanings, what should one do?

Dear Question Asker,

From your description, you want to communicate simply and avoid overinterpreting the meaning behind words, as it is exhausting. It is challenging to ascertain the true meaning of someone's words when they speak.

While some individuals may express their genuine feelings through their words, it is not uncommon for these statements to lack sufficient depth and nuance.

Often, when someone speaks, they are simply expressing their desired message. However, the underlying needs that drive this communication can often be challenging to discern. Some individuals may employ indirect communication due to their personality or upbringing. This approach, however, is not necessarily about the listener but rather about the person speaking.

For example, if someone wants to borrow money, but they won't just ask for it directly, they'll try to get the other person's attention by saying they don't have money to buy something or by telling a sad story. Some people might understand and ask if they need to borrow money, but some people just listen without asking what they really mean. At this time, the person who needs the money feels that the other person has low emotional intelligence, but this is not the other person's problem, it is more that this person has not expressed themselves clearly. Therefore, it is better to be yourself and not try to guess what the other person is thinking, do not over-interpret what they mean. If they don't get the point, then ask them to express their true intentions. It may be very direct, but for you, what you need is directness, not the other person beating around the bush.

Simply be yourself. Regarding the other person's needs, kindly request that they speak directly. There is no need for you to push yourself or take responsibility for this.

I hope this information is helpful. Best regards,

Thank you for asking the question! I'm grateful to have met you.

From what you've said, I can see you're a bit confused about communication. Let's talk about this together.

1. Make sure you understand what the other person is saying.

I really get what you're saying about communication. NLP says that there are three main elements: words and language (7%), tone of voice (38%), and body language (55%). We often express not only the words and language, but also add intonation and body language. So, what we express is not only about the meaning of words and language. In fact, words and language account for the smallest proportion in expression.

We all hear things differently. Our own ideas, beliefs, and values affect how we interpret what we hear. This is where misunderstandings often arise.

It's important to check what the other person means! You can describe what you hear and see, combine what you think, and express it consistently. Then, you can check with the other person, "Is this what you mean?"

2. Take a deep breath and relax.

It doesn't matter if you understand what the other person is really saying or not. Just relax and express yourself sincerely. If the other person doesn't understand you, be patient and try to express yourself in different ways. Feel the communication between you.

Even if there's been a misunderstanding, once you've communicated clearly, just smile. It's important to remember that we all misunderstand each other sometimes.

Take a moment to summarize your communication experience. This will help you identify ways to express yourself more accurately.

3. The more you communicate, the better.

It's important to communicate more, express yourself in different ways, and cultivate your inner self. You should also express yourself consistently, both internally and externally. When you express yourself, try to do so without being emotional and let your emotions out.

Keep expressing your emotions and feelings.

At the same time, languages are divided into upper and lower categories and expressed in a variety of ways in parallel. It's important to learn when and which expression is more appropriate. The more you learn and practice expressing yourself, the more comfortable you will become expressing yourself and communicating easily and happily.

It's not just about learning new skills. It's also about improving your inner self, being consistent in your actions and communication, and communicating sincerely.

I hope this helps, and I wish you the best!

Your description reveals a somatic headache response and a kind of pressure and conflict in interpersonal relationships. In these relationships, you may have intended to use your free and easy thoughts to communicate with others, but you are excessively controlling yourself. This shows a great sense of control, but it also demonstrates an inability to recognize the content of others' anxiety/introverted-and-not-good-at-communication-but-now-the-job-requires-strong-communication-skills-7993.html" target="_blank">communication and how to respond. Without the ability to recognize and express yourself freely, you regress from a feeling of confidence to being unable to solve the anxiety formed by relationship communication and feel pain. The obsessive sense of control in your thinking and expectations makes you forget how to better interact and communicate with others. After all, your free expression is hindered by a sense of pressure and powerlessness, and excessive analysis has made you lose sight of the needs and understanding of others in your relationships.

Obsessive thoughts in interpersonal relationships present a dilemma: to behave in a socially acceptable way or to satisfy one's own nature. In this case, the child receives excessive attention from their parents or caregivers. This forms a power struggle with their parents, which ultimately disadvantages the child. They are controlled, criticized, and prescribed experiences, which causes the child to feel angry and aggressive fantasies. These fantasies can be associated with defecation, symbolically making the child feel that part of themselves is bad, dirty, ashamed, and deserving of punishment.

Attacking the defecation behavior of symbolic imagination gives you control, punctuality, cleanliness, and order. When you feel out of control, not following the rules generates negative emotions like anger and shame.

Your narrative uses doubt about your own inadequacy to hide your feelings rather than express them. Emotional dependence produces more reliance on relationships with others to confirm self-identity. Based on shame, obsessive thoughts expect more attention to others' opinions of oneself, and deliberately achieve one's own internal standards of perfection.

I can say with confidence that your sense of shame at not being seen is actually you using the stereotypical behavior of parents or caregivers to identify with the deprivation of another's expression of needs.

You must learn to accept your imperfections if you want to see your needs and freedom in relationships. You've lost the ability to recognize others' needs because you're too concerned with yourself. You're overly focused on others, forgetting to care about yourself. You rely on stereotypes to embarrass others. Find a counselor or listener on the platform to help you. You'll discover more value and happiness in your feelings.

When asking a question, it's always a great idea to describe the problem you're facing in more detail and provide a specific context or example. This will really help the person answering to analyze the problem in depth and give you targeted advice. Since this question is quite broad, I'm going to answer from a more macroscopic perspective.

First of all, regarding the slowing down of your thinking you mentioned, I suggest you first have a physical examination to rule out any physical causes. If it is confirmed to be a psychological or communication skill problem, you can pay attention to the following aspects, which I think you'll find really helpful!

When understanding others' words, don't just stop at the literal meaning on the surface. The Chinese language is so rich and vast that the meaning of a statement often goes far beyond what is expressed literally.

So, let's dive deep and really understand the intentions and meanings behind the other person's words! We can analyze the situation comprehensively by taking into account factors such as the other person's identity, environment, and occasion, as well as the tone of voice, micro-expressions, and actions when speaking. This will help us grasp the other person's true intentions more accurately!

And here's another great tip: keep an eye out to see if the other person is chatting with multiple people at once. This can really help us get a better handle on what they're saying!

When you understand what the other person is saying, don't overinterpret or become overly anxious! You can even try to list all the different meanings that their words may have and then filter and judge them in light of the actual situation.

Even if some meanings aren't completely accurate, using them as a reference can help us grasp the other person's intentions more fully. At the same time, we must also remain open-minded and not make judgments or conclusions too quickly.

When answering the other person, it's so important to think about the effect you want to achieve with your words! Choose the appropriate expressions, tone of voice, and facial expressions to achieve this goal. When expressing yourself, be as precise and concise as possible! Avoid redundant and ambiguous expressions.

And it's also really important to think about how the other person is going to react and what they're going to think, so you can achieve the best possible result from your communication!

In complex interpersonal interactions, it is very helpful to think about the other person's goals and intentions. This is a great way to protect yourself from being misunderstood or deceived!

When we think more about the other person's intentions, we can really understand their words and actions! This helps us communicate more effectively with them.

There are so many ways to improve our communication skills! We can work on understanding the other person, expressing ourselves, and thinking about the other person's intentions. The more we practice and learn, the better we'll get at communicating and building great relationships with others.

Now for the fun part! Let's dive in and start making some changes. First, take a good look at yourself. Get to know your own character traits and communication habits. Identify where you can improve and then go for it!

Second, read and study more to supercharge your knowledge base and level up your language expression and logical thinking skills! At the same time, dive into more social activities and connect with people from different backgrounds and personalities to flex your resilience and communication muscles.

And there's more! We also need to learn to listen and respect others. Listening is a very important part of communication.

It's so important to listen carefully to the other person's views and ideas, to understand their position and feelings, and to avoid interrupting or negating them. At the same time, we should respect the other person's differences and personality, and we definitely shouldn't force others to accept our views or ways of behaving!

And last but not least, maintaining a positive attitude and good mood is also an important factor in improving communication skills! In communication, we need to maintain a confident, optimistic, and open mind to better deal with various challenges and difficulties.

And there's another thing! We should also pay attention to controlling our emotions to avoid affecting the communication effect due to emotional fluctuations.

In summary, there are so many exciting ways to improve our communication skills! We can work on understanding the other person, expressing ourselves, thinking about the other person's intentions, improving self-awareness, enriching our knowledge base, participating in social activities, learning to listen and respect others, and maintaining a positive mindset. With continuous effort and practice, we can gradually improve our communication skills and establish better interpersonal relationships with others!

Hello! From what I can see on your account, it seems like you often feel a bit nervous when communicating with others. I totally get it! It can be really hard to know what someone else is thinking or feeling, especially when you're worried about whether they're talking about you or giving you feedback.

It might seem like you don't understand, but it could also be that you don't believe what you're hearing or that you don't believe in yourself or your performance.

When we see communication as a kind of "test," it can get pretty stressful and feel like a task. We might even feel like we have to prove ourselves! For example, there's the fear that someone else's words have a deeper meaning, and if you don't understand them, you might worry that you'll be looked down upon or even ridiculed.

Or they're afraid that others will be dissatisfied with them. If they don't pick up on it, it could damage the relationship and make a bad impression. In general, they put themselves in a position where they are judged and scrutinized, desperately trying to correctly interpret what others mean to avoid negative comments.

On top of that, this kind of tension is often related to high demands and high expectations for "certainty." Interpersonal communication and relationships inherently involve a lot of uncertainty. Everyone has different life experiences, subjective ideas, and psychological states in a given situation. Coupled with the limitations of verbal expression, it is normal not to fully understand another person's meaning.

But if we always demand that we are certain in our expression, understanding, and relationships, we'll quickly become weighed down and unable to communicate freely.

You've already seen the problem and encouraged yourself to just communicate happily, which is a great start! You've realized the importance of accepting yourself, and you can cultivate the habit of self-acceptance in your life next.

For example, when you notice that you are over-interpreting in an interpersonal exchange, just remind yourself, "Hey, we're all equals here! Communication is about understanding each other, not about making sure we get the same result. Just respond to what's said, and do the same with me! We can both express our thoughts and feelings."

"

If you come across someone who's speaking in a roundabout way, you can always ask them to clarify or check if you're on the same page. For instance, you could say, "This is how I understand it/this is how I see it, what do you think?"

"Or maybe you could just repeat it one more time, please?"

Good day.

I can appreciate your frustration when you're having trouble understanding what others are saying.

In light of these considerations, I would like to offer some thoughts for your reflection.

There are a number of reasons why you may feel that you "can't understand what the other person means," "feel nervous," or "get a headache."

This may be due to a number of factors, including the way you communicate with each other, language barriers, cultural differences, or insufficient communication skills.

For instance, there may be instances where both parties lack the necessary communication skills to fully listen to or express their views, which could potentially result in unclear or inappropriate communication.

It is also possible that the two parties may have different preferences regarding the methods of communication. One person may prefer face-to-face communication, while the other may prefer communicating via phone or online. This could potentially lead to miscommunication or misunderstandings.

In addition, it would be beneficial to avoid making subjective assumptions about other people's intentions, to keep an open mind and respect each other's views during interpersonal interactions, just as you "hope not to over-interpret the meaning of others."

It might be helpful to remember that interpersonal communication is a two-way process that requires joint efforts from both sides to achieve better understanding and communication.

If I might make a suggestion, it would be to try to improve your ability to understand the intentions of others in the communication process. Here are some ideas that you might find helpful:

If I might suggest, it would be beneficial to try to listen and pay active attention.

When communicating with others, it may be helpful to pay attention to both what is said and how it is said in order to gain a deeper understanding of their intentions.

In addition to verbal expressions, it may also be helpful to pay attention to the non-verbal expressions of the other person, such as facial expressions, posture, and voice, which could potentially assist in understanding the other person's intentions more accurately.

Secondly, it would be beneficial to ask questions and clarify in a timely manner.

It would be unwise to assume that the simple surface meaning is always the correct one.

Even simple surface meanings may have elements that could benefit from further understanding and clarification.

If you are uncertain about the other person's meaning, it may be helpful to ask questions promptly to clarify any misunderstandings and gain a deeper understanding of their intentions.

It would be beneficial to show respect and understanding.

If you wish to communicate in a way that makes you happy, it would be advisable to respect and understand the other person first.

By respecting the other person's views and opinions, maintaining an open mind, and trying to see things from their perspective, you can gain a deeper understanding of their intentions and ensure that your exchange is as happy as it can be.

It would be beneficial to consider incorporating some practice and feedback into your routine.

You might also consider gradually improving your communication skills and understanding through communication and practice with different people.

It may also be helpful to consider accepting feedback from others in order to improve your communication style.

I hope this is of some help to you.

Hello! I'm a heart exploration coach, and my name is Gu Daoxi Fengshou Slender Donkey.

Adler said something really interesting. He said that all troubles stem from interpersonal relationships. When we care a lot about how others respond to what we say, or when we care a lot about what others think of us, we may have put a spell of anxiety on ourselves, making us feel at a loss when communicating.

The questioner may try to be aware of:

Let's dig deeper into the underlying meaning of the tension you feel when you worry about not understanding others. For example, I'm afraid that if I respond incorrectly, he will laugh at me. But there's so much we can do to overcome this! Let's try to perceive the nature of the unease together to help the original poster feel less nervous.

~Now, here's an interesting question: What is the cost of miscommunication? And, is this cost acceptable to you?

There's no harm in trying to prepare for the worst! It might just help the questioner feel a little more relaxed.

~Is the questioner's inability to understand when communicating with others because the content they are talking about is not their area of expertise? If not, there's no need to worry! You can easily allow yourself to have deficiencies and limitations, and to not understand everything. This will make the questioner feel less anxious. After all, no one is perfect, we are all ordinary people, and allowing yourself to have the limitations of an ordinary person may make the questioner feel more at ease.

Do you get headaches in communication because you don't understand what's being said, or because you resist communication? Let's find out!

If it's the former, you can absolutely improve your understanding by increasing your relevant knowledge! If it's the latter, you get to find a way to communicate that suits you. Some people are great at face-to-face communication, some are fantastic at dialogue, and some are brilliant at writing.

Ask yourself, would admitting that you don't understand make you feel more relaxed or more embarrassed? Sometimes we may resist admitting that we are not good at something because of face issues, but when you actually say it, it may not be that bad. The good news is that first, expressing yourself can help relieve your anxiety, and second, it can also help the other person find a different way to express themselves.

It's totally normal that we can't read minds! We can't fully understand what others say, but we can definitely try to confirm the content during the listening process. Let the other person know you're listening, and avoid miscommunication. You've got this!

The 10,000-hour rule states that all expertise requires deliberate practice. This is an amazing opportunity for the questioner to understand where their shortcomings lie and adjust the direction of improvement later. It will give them a greater sense of certainty!

If you feel like you still can't improve, don't worry! You can use notes or other tools to help you organize and summarize.

The most important thing you can do is try to reconcile with yourself, accept yourself, avoid labeling yourself, and be tolerant of yourself. This will make you feel less twisted!

I highly recommend reading "Accepting Imperfection"!

Wishing you all the best!

Hello. You say your thinking has slowed down. When did this happen?

Do you overinterpret what others mean when you talk to them? And when do you think people think normally when talking to others?

You know it's naive to believe what others say. You know you can say whatever you want.

Why do you over-interpret when communicating with others?

If we say whatever we want and let the other person interpret it, what will happen to them?

Everyone has a different upbringing and views things differently. This leads to different understandings. Through communication, we gain mutual understanding and perspectives, promote mutual recognition and understanding, and achieve our communication goals.

When talking to others, it's okay to not understand what they mean. We can say, "I'm sorry, I didn't get you. Can I ask you to explain?" This shows we're being sincere. Who would say no to sincerity?

We hope we are perceptive and understanding, and that we will be recognized by others. We should accept ourselves, knowing we have good and bad sides. We worry that showing our bad sides will lead to ridicule. If we are honest and straightforward, others will accept us.

Be yourself and communicate honestly, and you'll connect.