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Feeling utterly wretched, unable to pick myself up, do I feel like I have betrayed everyone?

divorce childhood trauma molestation stepfather sexual addiction
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Feeling utterly wretched, unable to pick myself up, do I feel like I have betrayed everyone? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

My parents divorced, and I was molested as a child but never told anyone. Then I developed a fondness for masturbation. In junior high, my mom brought a man home, and in high school, I stayed with her during holidays, where we three shared a bed due to circumstances. When they left, I would masturbate on the bed. One day, my stepfather suddenly talked to me, which was strange since we rarely spoke. He showed me photos of me changing clothes (stolen) and said I masturbated on the bed. I was at a loss, and he said he didn't want to be my father but my lover. I didn't dare tell my mom, as I was terrified, feeling like I was caught with my hand in the cookie jar for the first time. Once, I tried to talk to my mom, and after I did, my stepfather called to threaten me. Later, I foolishly submitted to my stepfather, giving myself to him just to have the photos deleted. It was laughable; I submitted at least three times. I might have really gone mad. Later, I started an online relationship, which was very painful, and he continued to date me, which was wonderful. He told me to leave, having nowhere else to go but to his place. I left, goodbye to my parents and friends. But I lived a life of shame, unable to pull myself together. I freeloaded for two years on an ex-boyfriend, our relationship unhealthy, like a casual fling, and I became increasingly addicted to sex. I became more and more dependent on him.

Maximus Kennedy Maximus Kennedy A total of 1416 people have been helped

Hello questioner.

If I could,

I want to give you a hug to warm your heart!

As you can see from the above material, you have experienced a lot from childhood to adulthood.

You have experienced the most shameful and painful years.

Divorce, stepfather abuse, boyfriend abandonment, pain and neglect.

You couldn't bear your father's rejection and harsh words.

It has been hard.

I want to tell you:

You didn't betray anyone.

You chose to endure humiliation and compromise your life for self-preservation and dignity because you were initially weak.

Living with an online friend is a way to survive and make up for a lack of love and warmth.

It's rare that you'll share your confusion and distress online.

You're aware of yourself and thinking about things.

The most important thing is whether you have stopped being addicted to sex. From a classical psychoanalytic perspective,

This symptom is formed for the following reasons:

First, there are physical reasons. Most hormone problems are caused by endocrine diseases.

Such as tumors in the adrenal or pituitary glands.

Mental health is also affected by things like upbringing and family relationships.

Most people with "sex addiction" come from families without good relationships.

The psychological community agrees that

Sexual addiction is caused by a lack of self-worth.

How is the treatment?

You might want to think about systematic psychoanalysis or dynamic therapy.

Help you heal from early trauma.

There is a limit to the personal information that can be shared. The above analysis is for reference only.

Let's chat privately.

I'm counselor Yao.

I'm here for you!

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Comments

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Bartholomew Davis You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have control over.

I can't believe this is happening to me, it feels like my whole world has been turned upside down. I never thought I would be in a situation like this, and it's hard to know how to move forward.

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Everett Jackson Failure is the mother of success, and those who understand this are on the right track.

The trauma from my childhood has always been there, lurking beneath the surface, and now it's all coming back to haunt me. It's as if everything that went wrong in my past is dictating my present and future.

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Clarissa Shaw Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.

It's terrifying to think about what happened with my stepfather. I feel so violated and confused. I wish I had the courage to speak up sooner, but fear held me back, and now I'm unsure of how to repair the damage.

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Aiden Anderson Don't wait for opportunity, create it through hard work.

How did things get so out of control? I wanted to escape, to find a way out, but instead, I ended up in another toxic relationship. It's like I'm trapped in a cycle that I don't know how to break.

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Patrick Anderson A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who breathes out lies will perish.

I regret not being able to stand up for myself when I had the chance. Now, I wonder if I'll ever be able to regain control of my life or if I'll continue to make choices that only lead to more pain and suffering.

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