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Finished the college entrance examination, interning now, always encounter things that make me speechless, life is so tiring! What should I do?

college entrance examination internship family atmosphere intergenerational relationships dependency issues
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Finished the college entrance examination, interning now, always encounter things that make me speechless, life is so tiring! What should I do? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

After the college entrance examination, I'm currently interning and feeling relatively well. This internship was arranged by my family, and the atmosphere of the small organization is quite nice. My grandmother is almost 70 years old, and she's been taking care of me since kindergarten. My father doesn't want her to have too much pressure, so he lets me go on my own in the morning. Most of the time, I take a taxi because it's close by. There were two days when my grandmother rode an electric scooter to pick me up because she needed to pick up my younger brother, so she said it was on the way to save money. However, my father saw this and reprimanded me, and before that, my grandmother had mentioned that my father would scold her. Now I go on my own, and I'm really speechless. Today, when I called a taxi, my grandmother again wanted to drive me to save money. I said no, but she insisted on it being on the way and not saving that money, which made me angry. I was also speechless. Anyway, I just took the taxi on my own, mainly because my company's manager knew about it, and she spoke to my mother, so I felt a bit speechless. Although the manager is a nice person and I like her, I didn't pursue it further.

I'm so overwhelmed. Every time I get close to someone I want to pursue, I unconsciously share a lot of things and then feel very anxious. He said things like I like a child-like appearance, and he might not have meant it to be harmful, but I felt really uncomfortable. Also, treating children as pets seems very strange to me. I'm not sure if I'm afraid of dependency, and I feel my mind is all jumbled up and exhausted. Before, there was this guy who called me on the phone late at night, but it was his brother who answered. He said his brother was too shy to say anything and wanted to ask my views on dating. Naturally, I didn't want to date him, as he smoked, and I wouldn't have been able to tolerate that. Moreover, he always had to attack me if I didn't play well in a game, which was really exhausting. I never won when I played with him, and it was really tiring. He also said things like he was a coward, which made me laugh. Anyway, we have no contact now, but I still find such people quite annoying.

In my daily life, it's hard to control things when no one is watching. I live in a daze, playing games, hahaha.

Matthew Ross Matthew Ross A total of 98 people have been helped

I can see you've been through a lot recently. First, regarding the internship and your family, I understand that you may feel a bit helpless and exhausted being caught in the middle.

Family members, especially those like Grandma who have been around since you were a kid, might sometimes show their love and concern in a direct way, which can make you feel a bit pressured. But remember, they're only concerned about you out of love.

It might help to talk to them and share your thoughts and feelings. You might be able to find a solution that works for both of you.

When it comes to relationships, it's normal to feel anxious and sensitive when you like someone. But it's important to remember that liking someone should be based on mutual respect and understanding.

If someone's words make you feel uncomfortable or hurt, it might be time to rethink the relationship. At the same time, you should also learn to protect your emotions and dignity. Don't sacrifice your principles and bottom line just to please others.

As for those people and things that make you speechless, sometimes we do encounter people who are difficult to understand or accept. But remember, everyone has their own way of life and values. You can't change other people, but you can choose how to get along with them.

Keep a calm head, try not to let their words and actions get to you, and make your life better and more fulfilling.

Finally, regarding your question about life status, it's true that sometimes we feel adrift due to a lack of self-discipline or goals.

Remember, you're in control of your own life. Set some goals and plans for yourself so you have something to look forward to and work towards every day.

At the same time, learn to enjoy every moment in life, whether it's happy or sad, because it's all part of growing up.

I hope these suggestions are helpful to you. Remember to believe in yourself, stay positive, and tackle every challenge in life with courage.

Best of luck!

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Avery Scott Avery Scott A total of 5201 people have been helped

Dear Question Asker, I perceive a sense of fatigue and helplessness underlying your statements, which evoke a sense of concern.

Life is, at times, akin to a theatrical performance devoid of a definitive script. We all endeavor to fulfill our assigned roles, yet we are occasionally taken aback by sudden plot twists. There is no need for concern, as you are not alone in this experience. Many individuals have traversed a similar path, and collectively, we can gradually address these challenges and discover the unique tranquility and fortitude that resides within each of us.

Firstly, it is important to address the issue of fatigue. Following the college entrance examination, you promptly commenced the arduous process of an internship, which in itself is a significant challenge.

Although the internship is progressing satisfactorily, the transition from campus to the workplace and the expectations of one's family can contribute to a sense of pressure. In particular, the warmth and occasional minor disagreements with one's grandmother can evoke a range of emotions.

Grandmother's love is profound and nuanced. She expresses her care for her grandchildren in her own way, which can sometimes make them feel a bit "superfluous." However, it is important to remember that there is a great deal of love behind it. One might suggest gently telling her what one thinks, for example: "Grandmother, I know you worry about money, but it is also very convenient for me to take taxis, and it is more important for you to take care of yourself."

This approach allows for the expression of one's position while simultaneously ensuring that the grandmother in question feels understood and cared for.

Let us consider the phenomenon of emotional distress. When we pursue a romantic interest, we often find ourselves unconsciously attempting to present our best selves and engage in shared experiences with that individual.

However, the words of others, even if they are unintentional, can still evoke a strong emotional response. In the case of the comment about "infantile behavior," it is possible that the individual in question used an inappropriate term to describe a particular characteristic of yours. This does not necessarily imply that he views you as a child or a pet.

It is important to recognize that everyone understands and expresses things differently. When interpreting messages, it is crucial to consider the nuances of communication. If one feels uncomfortable, it is possible to express one's feelings directly and gently. For instance, one might say, "When you say that, I feel a bit misunderstood. I hope we can communicate more equally."

"

In regard to the individual who sent you the voice message on the night in question, his actions were, at the very least, somewhat perplexing. However, you also gained insight into how to identify and select the most suitable friends or partners for you.

It is important to remember that genuine relationships are founded upon mutual respect and understanding. Any relationship that causes discomfort or exhaustion is worthy of reevaluation.

The challenges currently being faced are, in fact, representative of the typical obstacles encountered during the process of personal growth. These include the development of self-awareness, the management of interpersonal relationships, and the enhancement of emotional regulation. The gradual attainment of equilibrium in diverse roles and relationships represents a significant achievement, despite the potential for fatigue that may accompany this process.

The following suggestions are offered for your consideration. It is recommended that you experiment with these techniques in order to identify the most effective approach for your needs.

1. Allocate time for personal reflection: It is beneficial to set aside a period of time each day for oneself, whether it be for morning meditation or evening reading. This time allows for personal nourishment and the cultivation of inner peace. During this period, it is important to engage in activities that bring personal enjoyment and solitude.

2. Emotional Diary: It is recommended to commence keeping a mood diary, whether it be a record of feelings of happiness or sadness. The act of writing these emotions in words provides an outlet for them and also serves as evidence of personal growth.

3. Communicate actively and express yourself gently. When communicating with family members or friends, it is advisable to express one's feelings and needs using the "I" language, for example, "I feel... I hope..." This approach to communication can facilitate the reduction of misunderstandings and enhance understanding.

4. Set boundaries and say "no" boldly: When faced with requests or invitations that are uncomfortable, it is important to express one's position with confidence and learn to decline. It is essential to recognize that one's time and energy are valuable and should be allocated towards activities that bring happiness and fulfillment.

5. Form a community of interest: Join a community or organization that shares your interests, where you can engage in the exchange of ideas, learning, and personal growth with individuals who share similar interests. This kind of environment can foster a sense of belonging and support.

6. Self-affirmation exercises: It is beneficial to engage in daily self-affirmation practices, such as verbalizing positive self-statements, such as "I deserve to be loved, and I have the ability to handle the challenges in my life." These statements, when repeated consistently, can gradually become internalized as core beliefs, thereby enhancing one's sense of confidence and resilience.

7. Professional Psychological Counseling: Those experiencing persistent depression or difficulties regulating emotions may benefit from seeking the guidance of a professional counselor. Such professionals can provide expert support and guidance, assisting individuals in better navigating the challenges of life.

In conclusion, although life can occasionally induce fatigue, it is these experiences that facilitate the development of resilience and maturity. It is imperative to recognize that one possesses the requisite fortitude and discernment to confront any adversity.

It is important to remember that you are not alone in this endeavour, regardless of your location or circumstances. It is my hope that you will be able to identify your own rhythm and achieve a sense of happiness in the days to come.

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Danielle Danielle A total of 4069 people have been helped

Dear Question Asker, I can appreciate that your experiences and feelings over this period of time have been quite complex.

Regarding the question of how to travel with your grandmother, it is important to note that while the family's intentions were well-intentioned, there were differences in approach and misunderstandings. These required more communication and mutual understanding.

Given the recent loss of contact with the aforementioned unreliable individual, it is advisable to avoid allowing his actions to affect your current mood.

In response to your comment that you feel adrift without supervision, I suggest you consider establishing some modest plans and goals for yourself. For instance, you might set a fixed wake-up time or reading time each day, gradually developing beneficial habits.

It is understandable that encountering situations beyond one's control can be exhausting and frustrating. However, it is important to recognize that challenges are an inherent part of life. Navigating unexpected twists and difficulties is a normal aspect of any journey.

However, it is important not to become discouraged. These challenges will only be temporary, and there are likely more opportunities on the horizon. It is beneficial to maintain a positive outlook, allow yourself time to recuperate, adjust your perspective, and have faith that things will improve.

For these minor family conflicts, it would be advisable to find an appropriate time to sit down and calmly discuss the situation with your father and grandmother to clarify each other's thoughts and concerns, which may help to reduce some misunderstandings.

In the course of pursuing a relationship, it is important not to lose confidence as a result of a less than positive experience. When you meet someone you like in the future, it is advisable to relax and gradually reveal your true self.

Do not place undue pressure on yourself. These issues cannot be resolved immediately. Proceed in a methodical manner, and you will be able to address them effectively and improve your overall situation.

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Nicole Juliette Powell Nicole Juliette Powell A total of 7462 people have been helped

Hello, I'm Gu Daoxi Fengshou Slender Donkey, your Heart Exploration coach.

It's totally normal to feel a bit lost and confused after the college entrance exam. All that pressure suddenly disappears, and it can be hard to know what to do next.

Overall, the questioner is already doing great! Being willing to apply for a summer internship is a wonderful experience and a chance to gain some independence. It's also a great opportunity for personal growth. Of course, there will be some things that need to be adjusted along the way, but that's all part of the journey!

[About my father and grandmother's completely opposite demands]

Dad might feel that grandma is old and doesn't want her to get up early, while grandma might insist on doing it to save money or because she loves her grandchildren. It's so important to try to see the point of view of both dad and grandma, and let them reach a consensus first. This can really help to reduce the time when the questioner "has to accept things that happen to him," and also avoid disagreements between dad and grandma.

[About your own interactions with your mother as a leader]

The questioner is a high school student entering society. In fact, both the employer and the parents will feel that the questioner is a child. They will care about children in great detail and explain thoroughly. It's not because the questioner has done anything wrong, but they will have concerns and try to understand the reasons behind their actions, which may help the questioner feel relieved.

[About yourself when facing someone you like]

It's totally normal to feel a little lost and at a loss for words when faced with someone you like. It's also normal to feel a bit clumsy in expressing yourself. The good news is that you probably don't need to doubt yourself because you're awkward in front of someone you like.

It's totally normal to feel a little nervous when you're facing someone you like. We all want to get close and express ourselves, but we also worry about rejection or a lull in the conversation. And it's natural to feel happy and excited about sharing your happiness and new experiences with them. Seeing these inner struggles can help the questioner understand their emotional fluctuations.

[About how others may seem to be more successful than us]

Maybe it's a way for him to prove his sense of existence, or perhaps it's a way to attract the attention of the questioner. Either way, if you don't take it personally, you'll be doing yourself a big favor. When the questioner doesn't care about the other person's performance, he'll also find it boring after a while.

It's often the case that when we show off something, it just goes to show that we lack it. If we can try to see the uneasiness behind the other person's "showy package," it might help us to be more tolerant.

It's so important to try to see your own real needs. You may find that you don't need to worry too much about interpersonal relationships that you don't want to maintain. When you pay more attention to your own feelings, you may find that you reduce the emotional drain caused by other people.

It's so important to pay attention to your own feelings.

It can be really helpful to try to separate issues and distinguish between your own affairs, other people's affairs, and the affairs of the gods. This can help you to pay less attention to irrelevant matters and pay more attention to the parts you can control.

The wisdom of others can really help you out! When the two people closest to you disagree, you don't have to worry about mediating between them and making yourself feel bad. Just let them communicate and reach an agreement between themselves. This may save you a lot of trouble!

It can be tough to say no sometimes. When we know too much, we may feel embarrassed or care about other people's feelings, so we can't say no. Try to pay more attention to your own feelings, and it may help you feel less stressed when you say no.

Allowing yourself to "lie down," lowering your expectations of yourself, lowering others' expectations of you, and being happy just being yourself can really help to reduce internal conflict for you.

I'd highly recommend reading "The Courage to Be Disliked" if you get a chance!

Warmest regards!

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Ambrose Ambrose A total of 6027 people have been helped

On the one hand, you may feel the need to become more independent, but on the other, the concerns of your family members can sometimes become a burden. In such cases, communication is an important tool.

You might consider discussing your thoughts with your family at an appropriate time. For instance, you could let them know that you're hoping to find a solution to the commuting issue on your own, so they don't have to worry.

You might also consider explaining to your father the intentions of your grandmother, which could help to improve the atmosphere in the family.

If your supervisor is aware of your work-related concerns but does not address them, it may not be a significant issue. However, if it is a source of frustration for you, you might consider gently mentioning it to your supervisor and reassuring her that you are not bothered by it. This could also help prevent similar misunderstandings in the future.

In terms of relationships, it is not uncommon to want to share everything when you meet someone you like. However, this can sometimes cause anxiety, which may be because you care about what the other person thinks.

If you feel uncomfortable when you hear things like "I like the babyish look," you might consider expressing your feelings to the other person and seeing how they respond. Healthy communication is an important foundation for a good relationship.

The guy who called you and his behavior really seem like they might not be the best fit for you. If his behavior makes you unhappy, you might want to consider minimizing your contact with him.

You've done a great job of limiting your contact with him. Your feelings are the most important thing, and there's no need to force yourself to adapt to someone who makes you feel uncomfortable.

You might find it helpful to set aside a little time each day to do the things you enjoy, or to exercise regularly. This can help you maintain healthy habits and feel more in control.

If you feel yourself beginning to drift, you might consider getting up and moving around, doing some simple stretches, or even just taking a few deep breaths to help you get back on track. I wish you the best of luck!

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Howard Howard A total of 645 people have been helped

Hello, question asker!

After the college entrance exam, you are doing an internship. You are now in a more complicated environment than when you were at school, with more people to deal with. You are uncomfortable with the current interpersonal relationships, so you feel speechless about some people and things.

This is likely the confusion that everyone new to society experiences.

As an adult, you will take on new responsibilities and obligations in society and in the family. For example, at home, your grandmother will now rely on you for care.

You must also become a person who is responsible for yourself.

Your mother lets you take a taxi to work by yourself. Grandma, on the other hand, is stuck in the past and still wants to be the caregiver.

As an adult, it is our responsibility to care for the elderly. If we cannot, we will face consequences from society.

You need to tell your grandmother that it's not about saving money. You've grown up and are capable of taking care of yourself, while she's old and needs to be taken care of.

People in society judge your words and actions by the standard of maturity. You must do the same with yourself.

This will ensure consistency between who I am and how I present myself to others. It will prevent others from being left speechless.

Similarly, if someone you like says things like "I like your childish appearance," he probably doesn't mean it maliciously, but it makes me feel really bad. And also, the anxiety caused by the inconsistency between how you see yourself and how you are judged by others, doubting yourself and fearing attachment.

This is perfectly normal. People who don't know each other well can hardly really understand us, so their opinions of you are subjective and one-sided.

It's normal for someone who is 18 years old and has just entered society to be childish. It's only when someone is not childish that it's scary. Our thinking will become more profound with social experience.

You don't need to care too much about the other person's judgment. Appreciate your own character and observe whether you are like what they said.

You will mature naturally.

When someone wants to know your views on love, tell them directly what kind of person you hope the other person is, what they look like, and what kind of character they have.

Your views on love will change as you mature—it's only natural. In interpersonal relationships, appropriate self-disclosure—talking about your hobbies and your ideals—will bring people closer together and contribute to a good working environment.

"My usual life is quite uncontrollable. As long as no one is watching me, I can live a very carefree life, playing games and all sorts of things, hahahaha." As mentioned earlier, you are an adult now.

Adulthood is defined by the change from being ruled by others to being self-disciplined.

This is a new challenge for you. You can set a schedule for your work and rest, make a work plan or goal plan, and you will succeed if you apply self-discipline.

You will be able to arrange your own life and work with self-discipline.

This is a reference only.

I am confident that this will be of help to you.

Best regards!

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Isaac Ward Isaac Ward A total of 426 people have been helped

Dear Question Asker,

From the description, it is evident that you are frequently troubled by inconsequential matters. Following the college entrance examination, you participated in an internship. Your father advocated for you to travel independently, whereas your grandmother sought to provide you with transportation. This resulted in considerable frustration on your part.

You are unsure of the appropriate course of action. Despite your decision to take a taxi, you are annoyed and subconsciously reluctant to cause your grandmother, who raised you, any distress. You are a kind child.

Additionally, there are some relationship-related and self-discipline issues. It is evident that you have your own ideas, but you are experiencing difficulties in articulating them.

In general, upon completion of secondary education, individuals tend to remain reliant on the guidance of their family of origin. While they may possess their own independent thoughts, their decision-making is often influenced by the opinions of their family elders. These choices may not align with their genuine preferences, leading to feelings of psychological irritation.

For instance, if you are resolute in your decision to select your preferred course of action in varying circumstances, such as commencing employment following an internship, you may demonstrate a reduced level of irritability.

You may be somewhat reserved when expressing your feelings for a potential romantic interest, but you also have an aspiration to mature. This indicates that you are not yet fully independent, but you do possess your own ideas and can make decisive decisions. You also require further practice in interpersonal interactions.

While you may be impatient when faced with a suitor, you have your own ideas and can firmly reject the other person. Despite the challenges you are facing, you can identify what kind of partner and life you want, gradually establish your independence, and begin to move away from your original family to become an independent individual.

I hope this information is useful to you. Best regards,

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Comments

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Cedric Davis Life consists not in holding good cards, but in playing those you hold well.

I can totally relate to the mixed feelings you're having about your internship and family dynamics. It sounds like you're trying to balance respect for your grandmother's efforts with your dad's wishes, which can be tough. I guess sometimes it's just better to stick to what works best for you, even if it means saying no to wellmeaning offers.

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Padraig Miller A well - learned person's perspective is enhanced by knowledge from various fields.

It seems like your dad is looking out for your grandma's wellbeing by not wanting her to feel pressured. Maybe you could try talking to him and your grandma together, explaining that you appreciate their concern but also need some independence. That way, everyone's on the same page and understands your perspective.

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Myles Miller Growth is a journey of learning to see the light in the darkness.

The situation with your manager getting involved feels a bit awkward. It's good that she cares, but it's also important to set boundaries. Perhaps you can find a polite way to let her know that you'd prefer handling things your own way. After all, it's part of growing up and becoming more selfreliant.

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Odin Anderson Time is a wheel that turns without stopping.

That guy who called late at night sounds pretty complicated. It's great that you knew what was right for you and didn't pursue something that wouldn't have been healthy. Sometimes people can be really draining, and it's important to protect your energy. You made the right choice in distancing yourself from that situation.

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Riley Miller The more we grow, the more we understand that growth is a process of self - actualization and self - transcendence.

Dealing with all these relationships while also managing your own emotions must be exhausting. It's okay to take a step back and focus on yourself. Maybe setting some personal goals or finding a hobby that brings you joy could help clear your mind. Just remember, it's alright to take things one day at a time.

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