Frequently estranged friends due to jealousy, how to stop being jealous?

Hello, questioner!

From what you've said, I can see you're feeling a bit confused and conflicted. But you're also good at recognising this uncomfortable emotion and facing it head on.

From what you've said, it seems like you're struggling with your own feelings. On the one hand, you want your friend to succeed, but on the other hand, you feel uncomfortable with your friend doing better than you. This is causing you to feel emotionally drained. Is that right?

The truth is, the word "jealousy" is pretty common in life. We all have a jealous heart, and that's okay. As long as we're not hurting our friends because of it, we can see that the relationship might not be as strong as it could be and that we haven't found friends who truly belong to us.

Nobody's perfect. We all have our own issues, and that's okay. But we need to learn to manage our emotions. We shouldn't suppress ourselves or blame ourselves for our feelings. They're not what we want. They might be related to our past experiences or our education.

All these questions are resources we can use to help us solve our own problems.

Based on your question, I'd suggest

First of all, I suggest we focus on understanding our emotions rather than analyzing ourselves. Why do we feel this way?

What does this feeling remind us of? Do we also want a better life?

It's just that we don't have the strength or haven't been loved, so we don't know how to love others. When we see others being loved, we feel a little sad inside. Is that it? We can only find the root of the problem through constant awareness and slowly adjust ourselves.

Second, be open to experiencing a range of emotions.

I've always believed that there's no such thing as right or wrong because we can't know what someone else has been through. I don't know what's made you think and act this way, but I know you have your reasons. At the very least, the friends you've hurt are drifting apart. Friends grow apart as we grow up. What I'd like to suggest is that we learn to accept ourselves in all kinds of states. Only when we accept ourselves and don't fight against ourselves can we calm the little voice inside, get along with ourselves, and have the strength to get out of this emotional cycle.

Then, shift your focus and learn to love yourself.

When we feel uncomfortable, I suggest we don't label ourselves, don't dwell on it, and don't doubt ourselves. Instead, be brave and distract ourselves with things we enjoy. We can also try self-hypnosis, meditation, and other practices. Most importantly, after doing all this, we'll have inner strength. We need to learn to love ourselves. When we love ourselves enough, we're at peace, we see our own strengths, and we can see the strengths of others. This way, we can love and be loved. The ability to love ourselves is about getting along with ourselves because all relationships are between us and ourselves. If we don't love ourselves, we can't get along peacefully with others.

Finally, don't be afraid to seek help from external resources.

It's actually pretty great when you realize you can face this emotion forever. When you're dealing with this emotion, you can try seeking help from an external psychological counselor. They can use their professional skills to dig deep into the root of your subconscious, adjust your perception, heal your heart, and give you the courage to face it.

You can also read more psychology books or take more psychology courses, or study psychology while you're growing and healing yourself.

In the end, I just want to say that those who are healed in life are the ones who are willing to be healed. As long as you don't give up, keep pushing forward, love yourself, and be surprised by yourself, one day you'll gain a happy life with ease and comfort.

Hello!

I can relate to the challenge of being "haunted by the emotion of jealousy."

With that in mind, I'd like to suggest a few things for you to think about:

In general, people are jealous because jealousy is a common emotion that comes from a deep-rooted sense of comparison and competition.

As you mentioned, it's tough seeing a good friend succeed in their career, find a great partner, and buy a new expensive bag.

It's only natural to feel jealous when you see others have what you want. It could be wealth, appearance, talent, a happy family, or a successful marriage. It's also normal to feel envious when you see others achieve what you've been striving for.

On top of that, jealousy can also come from a feeling of inadequacy or inequality.

As you mentioned, feeling jealous also shows that you want to change or improve yourself.

On the other hand, jealousy can also lead to some pretty negative emotions and behaviors, like envy, hatred, and even getting in the way of other people's success.

If you're looking to reduce the negative impact of jealousy, you might want to try some of these methods and measures:

First, as we talked about in the analysis above, recognize the emotion of jealousy and accept it.

Jealousy is a natural human emotion that exists in varying degrees in everyone. It's something we should be aware of and accept, rather than resisting or suppressing.

Second, try to think positively.

Having a positive mindset helps us accept our own and others' shortcomings, be more patient, and feel confident in pursuing our goals. It also helps us reduce jealousy.

Also, you don't have to keep focusing on what other people have. Instead, focus on your own achievements and what you have, and enjoy and cherish them.

For instance, make the most of the chance to come to the platform and get help, and enjoy the feeling of being understood and respected in the Q&A.

Again, try not to compare yourself too much to others.

Comparing ourselves to others can make us feel inferior and jealous. It's important to remember that everyone's situation and life are different, and to focus on our own unique qualities.

For example, "I always think I should be happy for my friends because they are doing well, but it's really, really difficult." This is also an exaggerated comparison with how things should be.

It's so difficult, so you might as well stop trying to be happy and just focus on yourself.

At the end of the day, you should still be on the lookout for chances to grow and improve.

You can take a look at where you are right now, figure out where you want to go, and break your goal down into smaller steps.

And don't forget to give yourself a pat on the back for every little achievement you make.

You'll only be able to achieve your ideal state and reduce the negative impact of jealousy by studying hard and working hard to improve yourself.

I hope these tips are useful for you!

Hello, host.

I want to help you. Please let me know what I can do.

The poster seems anxious and helpless. I want to give them a hug.

There are two types of judgments: fact and value. In a fact judgment, there is a standard answer. For example, if you ask how tall you are, we can measure it.

But there's no standard answer for value judgments. For example, if I say you're too tall.

This is a value judgment because everyone has a different idea of what "tall" means.

I want to explain these two concepts first, so that the poster can understand that our answers are based on our understanding, experiences, and values. Therefore, the perspective and direction of the answers are just for the poster to consider. I hope the poster will not regard our answers as the standard ones.

I understand the original poster's feelings. I feel there's injustice in society. Why do good things happen to others while I get bad luck?

The original poster understands that jealousy is an emotion. Behind every emotion is something invisible. We need to look at these emotions and understand what they mean.

The original poster was jealous of a friend who bought a bag. This made the original poster feel worthless. The original poster knows that a bag cannot show that she is worthless.

I'm going to talk about a theory of communication. It was founded in the 1950s by Eric Berne. It is a set of theories and techniques for psychoanalysis, communication, and interpersonal communication.

It's an important school of thought in psychotherapy and psychoanalysis. It's a concise, practical, and profound theory and technique for interpersonal relationships.

Transactional analysis theory starts with a structural analysis of the individual's personality. This includes the parental, adult, and child self-states. These three self-states affect the individual's behavior, emotions, and thinking.

The parental self-state is similar to the parent's beliefs, emotions, and behaviors. The adult self-state is rational, calm, and objective. The child self-state reflects early experiences.

Envy is an emotion often found only in children. TA theory divides communication postures into four models:

"Hello, I'm not good."

Description: The individual thinks they are inferior, that the other person is always right, and that they often make mistakes.

2. "I'm good, you're not."

Description: The individual thinks they are better than the other person, who often makes mistakes.

3. "If you're not good, I'm not good."

Description: Both people are seen as flawed. This is often accompanied by a sense of shared victimhood.

4. "I'm fine, and so are you."

Description: This is a healthy way to communicate. The person respects themselves and the other person. They can communicate with the other person on an equal and fair basis. They can find a solution that is acceptable to both parties.

The first communication style is the one the poster is using. We hope the poster will learn to use the "I'm good, you're good" style. This helps build better, more satisfying relationships. Understanding these styles helps us understand our own communication patterns. We can then work to improve them.

What can you do about it?

Accept your emotions. Jealousy is a natural response. It doesn't mean you're bad or undeserving. Accepting your emotions is the first step. Don't be too hard on yourself.

2. Explore the root of jealousy. Is it because you feel they have something you don't?

Or is it because you feel inferior? Understanding the root cause of jealousy can help you find more specific coping strategies.

3. Build self-confidence and a positive sense of self. Focus on your achievements, interests, and goals to feel good about yourself.

When you feel confident, you'll appreciate others' success instead of feeling jealous.

4. Don't compare yourself to others. You're all unique.

Comparison leads to competition and prevents enjoyment.

5. Get help from a professional counselor if your jealousy is affecting your life and relationships.

Change takes time and effort. Don't rush it.

You can overcome your jealousy and have a better relationship with your friends.

I hope this helps. Everyone wants to be seen and to get feedback from the host and other people who are interested. Follow and like (useful).

Good day.

From reading your description, I can appreciate your feelings.

First of all, you wrote in the title description, "Often alienating friends because of jealousy," which shows that you yourself have already recognized the severity of the problem. If you want to solve the problem, it would be helpful to first understand the crux of the problem. Let's start by understanding jealousy.

Jealousy can be defined as a state of mind in which one feels indifferent, belittles, rejects, and is hostile towards those who should be united. It is therefore important to be aware that jealousy can have a negative impact on our emotional wellbeing, and in severe cases, it can generate feelings of hatred. It is an emotion and psychological state that arises from resentment and the perception that others enjoy benefits that one wants for oneself.

I hope that by now you have a clearer understanding of the issue at hand. It is important to note that this kind of psychology is not something that can be completely eliminated. Rather, it can be managed to a certain extent in order to reduce the negative emotions associated with it as much as possible.

Secondly, you wrote in your description that you have always been troubled by the emotion of envy. You also mentioned that you often feel a difficult feeling inside when you see your good friends doing well in their careers, finding a good boyfriend, or buying a very expensive new bag. You feel that there is nothing remarkable about it. At the same time, you start looking for their flaws and start blaming yourself for being so incompetent. Based on your description, the following conclusions can be drawn about the formation of envy:

From a biological perspective, it seems that jealousy may have evolved in humans as a protective emotion. In human society, everyone has their own social status and role. If a person is unable to obtain sufficient resources and advantages in society, it could be challenging to ensure their survival and reproduction.

It could be said that jealousy is a protective emotion that evolved in humans. In human society, everyone has their own social status and role. If a person is unable to obtain sufficient resources and advantages in society, it could be challenging to ensure their survival and reproduction.

It may therefore be the case that jealousy has the effect of stimulating people's sense of competition and enabling them to better adapt to the social environment.

2. Psychological perspective

It seems that jealousy is closely related to an individual's self-image. It may be the case that when a person feels a gap between themselves and others, they will become jealous.

This gap can be material, such as wealth and status, or emotional, such as intimate relationships. In addition, it seems that people's jealousy is also related to their self-esteem and self-confidence.

It may be the case that when a person's self-esteem and self-confidence are low, it becomes more challenging for them to maintain a positive and constructive mindset.

3. Sociological perspective

It would be remiss of us not to consider the role that social culture plays in the phenomenon of jealousy. In some cultures, competition and success are seen as reflections of a person's value, which could potentially lead to feelings of jealousy.

Furthermore, social injustice can also give rise to feelings of jealousy. When an individual perceives themselves to be in an unfair situation, they may experience feelings of envy.

4. From an educational perspective, it would be beneficial to consider...

It would be beneficial for parents and teachers to consider ways to foster students' self-confidence and self-esteem. This could help students find confidence and pride in their own strengths, which might reduce comparisons with others and envy.

It would be beneficial for education to also focus on cultivating students' sense of competition, so that they can learn and grow through competition.

In your description, you mentioned that you often find it challenging to be happy about your friends' successes, even though you know they are great. This can lead you to distance yourself from some friends, which might be a way of coping. There are a few common methods that people use to deal with these feelings.

1. Consider acknowledging that you may have some psychological challenges.

Before dealing with jealousy, it might be helpful to first acknowledge that it is a significant challenge in your life. Jealousy can sometimes affect our self-confidence and may become an obstacle to our progress.

Huang Xing tends to envy the things that others have and rarely appreciates himself.

2. Consider the potential origins of your feelings of jealousy.

It might be helpful to consider why you feel jealous. It's possible that you feel others have something you don't, which could indicate a need to re-examine your thinking about life. It's also important to manage your emotions and, if necessary, re-plan your career.

It might be helpful to consider the following advice:

1. If you feel comfortable doing so, please mention yourself.

If you tend to be a slow starter, you may sometimes feel that you are not worthy of appreciation. During such times, it can be helpful to take a moment to reflect on your strengths and weaknesses, identify areas for improvement, and gradually become more satisfied with yourself. This can help to reduce the likelihood of experiencing feelings of jealousy.

2. Do your part as well as you can.

To avoid jealousy, it may be helpful to take pride in the important responsibilities you undertake and to embrace your interests with enthusiasm. It might also be beneficial to dedicate more time to the activities you enjoy and to limit your engagement with others to a reasonable extent.

You might consider mentioning yourself by reading poetry or dancing, for example.

3. Consider broadening your horizons.

It would be beneficial to understand the things about yourself that others admire. It is important to remember that no one's life is perfect. It may be helpful to consider not just the admirable qualities of others, but also those that you possess.

Please note that the above content is for reference only.

Hello, I'm Xin Tan, your coach Xiufu, and I'm thrilled to be able to give you some advice!

From your description, it seems you're starting to recognize that you're now jealous of yourself. And that's a great first step! Jealousy is a natural emotion that everyone experiences from time to time. It's a reminder that we all have room to grow and that we're all human, with all the wonderful, imperfect, and unique qualities that come with that.

So, when you're facing a current situation, it's really important to base your judgment on facts, what you see, and an analysis based on facts. That way, you can judge whether the other person is really as good as you think, and whether you really are not as good as they are. It's also a great idea to check whether you're underestimating yourself!

I'm excited to help you analyze it based on your detailed text description so you can feel some relief!

First of all, I want to say that your entire text is about self-awareness, which is very good!

You feel that you have been plagued by jealousy. You feel that your close friends have done so well in their careers, while you have been unable to get back on your feet. They have all found nice boyfriends and bought very expensive handbags, as if you are not worthy. But here's the good news! You can overcome this challenge.

So, is what we see really the truth?

For example, if your best friend is doing well in his career, and indeed his career on the surface is really good, if the surface of this event is truly matched with his actual situation, then we should definitely take a moment to appreciate the effort he has put in behind the scenes!

If someone has worked hard to fight and struggle and has built a career, don't you admire them?

If you feel admiration, you'll probably feel a little self-blame at first, but then you'll realize that you can work just as hard as anyone else! This kind of emotion is not jealousy, but a manifestation of inner self-blame, as well as a lack of self-confidence and inferiority.

And then there's the matter of a good friend finding a good boyfriend and buying an expensive bag!

Is a good boyfriend someone who is in a position to be a good boyfriend, or someone who is handsome and wealthy? Either way, it's a great question!

Then is this boyfriend still as close to her as ever? Or are the two of you together for some reason?

In fact, there's a saying that every family has its own unique set of challenges. From the outside, it may seem like you and your boyfriend have a great relationship. You eat together every day and seem to adore each other. We can put ourselves in your shoes and imagine what it would be like to have a boyfriend who is always there for you. It's natural to want to show off to others that you and your partner are constantly fighting. But it's also inevitable that there will be conflicts when two people are together.

So, if they have daily conflicts that need to be resolved, would you still think she has found a very good boyfriend? And if you think she has found a good boyfriend, what kind of things has the other guy done for him?

Is he also the kind of person you would especially like to have as a boyfriend if you were to find one?

Then let's get back to reality!

If you really find a guy like this, it's a great question to ask yourself: do you really like him? Or do you like the attributes that this guy has?

But if you really get along with him, do you feel that you are not a good match?

If you don't feel a match, but just admire these attributes, then this is not jealousy. It's a state of mind similar to envy, which is something to be excited about!

Then there's the exciting challenge of buying a bag! You admire your friends for being relatively wealthy, and you're eager to find your own path to financial success through hard work.

But here's the thing: if you really want to be like your friends, there are so many ways to make money! Why not talk to them about the ways to make money?

After all, everyone has different behavior patterns and ways of doing things, and their personal experiences are also different. For example, your family may be more inclined to be an intellectual family, while the other person may be in business with a large industry—how fascinating!

Then there's the exciting fact that you and your friends come from different family backgrounds and have different strengths. For example, your friends are great at business, while you are fantastic at technical work!

This is why it's so important to recognize that each of you has your own unique advantages. It's not about who's better or who's worse, it's about celebrating what makes you both special!

This is great news! It means that if the other person is in that profession, they will earn a corresponding amount of money. And we should also be aware that if the other person earns a lot of money in their profession, they may need to dress up in gold and silver and carry designer bags in order to fit in with the situation.

If they earn this money, do they really have no worries at all? I don't think that's the case, and it's great that they don't!

And do your friends also confide in you when they are troubled? Absolutely! If we look at your situation, you may not earn as much as your friends, and you may feel that you are not as capable or as good as they are.

But while they are still staying up late negotiating outside, you can enjoy your own time at home, spend some time alone, cook some delicious food to soothe yourself, and have a lot of time to yourself.

This time is not available to your partner, and they will also envy you for having this state of mind—and who can blame them?

It's time to think about what your true inner self needs! Do you want to have a cozy little home of your own? Do you want to go to work from nine to five every day? And do you want to have time every day to cook your own meals, enjoy the food, and enjoy the view?

Or maybe you want to enter into the same kind of lifestyle as the other person?

I truly believe that when you refuse to find out what state you truly like in yourself, you will gradually understand the difference between the environment you are in and the environment he is in.

At that time, you can then choose the kind of life you like!

If you still like the other person, then I'm sure they'll be happy to help you! It seems like you're gradually distancing yourself from them, but I'm sure they'll understand.

Then you stay away from them because you are jealous of the way you define yourself, or is it possible that the other person's life is not really to your liking? You're a little afraid to face it, but you know you can do it!

So, it's really important to figure out what kind of life you want to live! If you're finding that your days are packed with work, it might be time to start thinking about ways to relax and recharge.

If you enter into that state, you will probably end up talking about business issues day and night, and you will also have the chance to learn more about business!

Once you've got a better handle on yourself, you can start organizing your thoughts and try some writing therapy. For example, what's your current state? What kind of person do you want to become? Do you really have no strengths? What are the strengths of the other person?

Absolutely! And if we do, we'll be happier than we ever thought possible!

So, are you ready to change the current state of affairs?

I absolutely believe that you can write down all these questions, undergo some writing therapy, and then click on my homepage to send them to me!

I'm excited to help you analyze your current state of mind one by one and plan the next step better so you know what to adjust!

After all, you actually need friends too! These people have been with you for many years. While it would be sad to lose them, you can still get along better and move forward together.

Let's explore this further together!

I'm excited to hear from you! I wish you all the best.

Good day. My name is Coach Yu, and I would like to engage in a discussion on this topic with you.

Let us consider the capacity to discern positive qualities.

Reflecting on one's upbringing, it is important to consider the nature of the parental discourse. Were children frequently praised and affirmed by their parents, or were they often subjected to blame and criticism?

Individuals who were raised in families that discouraged positive self-expression may experience difficulties integrating socially and forming healthy interpersonal relationships. This is evidenced by the common sentiment, "I can't stand to see other people doing well."

As the questioner stated, I frequently experience a sense of unease when observing my positive-minded acquaintances achieving success in their professional endeavors, forming romantic relationships, and acquiring expensive belongings. Despite my outward displays of approval, I find it challenging to genuinely rejoice in their achievements.

In life, we may perceive poor results and bad behavior as external, rather than as aspects of our own identity. This kind of thinking can reduce feelings of unease and anxiety, and help us achieve a state of psychological balance. We can view ourselves from this perspective and gain insight into our own selves.

One may endeavor to explore one's inner self and inquire of oneself what one truly desires. What must one become to achieve a state of satisfaction?

Additionally, it would be beneficial to inquire of oneself what aspects of one's own self may evoke feelings of envy in comparison to one's friends, and what aspects of one's own self may prompt the search for perceived flaws in others.

One must then endeavor to accept oneself. As a result, one will become more tolerant of others and of the circumstances of one's life.

In his work, Adler posited that each individual possesses a unique degree of inferiority complex, driven by the universal desire for self-improvement and a better quality of life. However, the act of comparing oneself to others can, at times, instill a sense of confidence, yet, at other instances, it can also foster feelings of inferiority. When inferiority arises from comparison, it can lead to the formation of a negative self-image, which, in turn, can distort one's self-perception, affect one's cognition, emotions, and ultimately, one's behavior.

As the original poster indicated, I frequently alienate friends due to feelings of jealousy. While I perceive this as a relatively inconsequential issue, I tend to ascribe personal blame for my perceived shortcomings. This phenomenon may be attributed to some of the reasons why individuals tend to underestimate their capabilities.

A change in perspective allows us to view a friend who is thriving in their career as a source of insight and guidance, as well as a role model for personal growth and development.

As the original poster wrote, I believe that it is always appropriate to be happy for my friends' success. Even if our career paths diverge, we can still acknowledge our efforts and reward ourselves for our achievements.

Thus, emotions are neither inherently positive nor negative. Rather, they are a natural aspect of human experience. When we feel emotions such as jealousy or discomfort, we can engage in a process of self-reflection by asking ourselves questions such as "What am I worried about? What does this remind me of?"

Once an individual begins to accept their emotions and permit them to flow freely, they are less likely to engage in behaviors that distort their emotions due to emotional repression.

It is imperative to alter one's mindset. The act of comparing oneself to others inevitably results in the formation of inferiority complexes. It is therefore essential to record one's strengths and to offer oneself daily praise for these attributes. The act of comparing oneself to others serves as the primary catalyst for self-growth.

It is important to note that seeking assistance is a viable option, particularly given the difficulty in immediately overcoming such an issue. Identifying a family member or friend who can provide positive support and serve as a reliable source of guidance can be beneficial. Additionally, consulting with a counselor may be helpful in releasing emotions and alleviating the associated heaviness and blockages in the heart.

The questioner demonstrates a noteworthy capacity for discerning their emotional states in a timely manner and requesting assistance when necessary. Therefore, it is imperative to commence by attending to our own well-being, ensuring the maintenance of our physical health, and nurturing our emotional needs.

Regardless of one's level of occupational stress and fatigue, it is imperative to allocate time for relaxation. Engaging in deep breathing, mental relaxation, exposure to natural surroundings, and sensory experiences such as listening to the sounds of frogs and observing the activities of birds and flowers can facilitate relaxation. It is essential to embrace one's authentic self, engage with the real world, and maintain self-belief, as personal growth is a continuous process.

It is recommended that the reader consult the following text: "The Courage to Be Disliked."

It is important to understand that jealousy is a natural emotional reaction and that it does not indicate that one is a bad person or a failure. However, excessive jealousy can have a detrimental impact on one's relationships with others. Therefore, it is essential to adopt effective strategies to adjust and overcome this emotion.

1. Self-awareness and acceptance: Upon recognizing feelings of jealousy, it is important not to self-blame but rather to attempt to accept the emotion. It is a natural human experience to feel envy and jealousy at times; the crucial aspect is how to effectively manage these emotions.

It is recommended that one attempts to observe and record the situations in which these emotions arise, as well as identify the specific triggers that precipitate them.

2. Transform your perspective: Transform feelings of jealousy into motivation. When observing the success of one's peers, it is possible to perceive this as a consequence of their dedication and effort. This can then motivate the individual to learn from their peers' strengths, establish objectives, and implement strategies to enhance their own abilities.

In lieu of concentrating on the possessions of others, it is more beneficial to direct one's attention toward the methods through which these individuals obtained them.

3. Positive mental suggestion It is important to remember that everyone has different experiences and abilities, and that everyone has their own pace of life and their own standards of success. One's value is not contingent on material possessions or achievements, but rather on one's intrinsic worth as a person and the manner in which one lives one's life.

4. Be grateful. It is important to learn to appreciate and be grateful for the positive qualities of one's friends and the positive influence they have on one's life. One's own success does not negate one's value; rather, it enriches one's social circle and provides a reference for growth.

5. **Build self-esteem and confidence**: Identify one's interests and areas of expertise, prioritize personal growth and development, gradually accumulate a sense of accomplishment, and enhance one's self-esteem and confidence. When one has complete confidence in oneself and a sense of fulfillment, the emotion of jealousy will diminish.

6. Seeking support is advised. It is recommended to share one's feelings with trusted friends or family members, to listen to their opinions and suggestions, and to seek professional help from a counselor. Gradually adjusting one's mindset through professional guidance is also advised.

7. Mindfulness practice: Mindfulness meditation or breathing exercises can assist in training oneself to remain calm and objective when facing negative emotions, thereby facilitating better management and control of jealousy.

To overcome jealousy, it is essential to recognize that the process requires time and patience. The most effective approach is to cultivate a positive mindset and habits, to believe in one's ability to achieve self-worth through continuous hard work, and to sincerely rejoice in the achievements of others.

Hello, question asker! It's like meeting you in person when I see your words.

After reading your description, I can see how you're feeling. It's totally normal to feel a bit jealous when your friends are doing well in their careers. It's not good to dwell on these feelings, but it's also not easy to change them.

My dear, I just had to give you a virtual thumbs-up through the screen when I sorted out the above. You did a very important thing in the process of telling this story, and that is called "self-awareness." Thanks to this action, you've learned so much about yourself.

I'm so happy to tell you that your self-adjustment has already begun!

Let's chat about this together!

You said, "When I see my best friend's career going from strength to strength, finding a good boyfriend, and buying a very expensive new bag, I feel really bad." I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope we can explore this together and help you feel better.

1. I'm really interested to know: what expectations about yourself are hidden behind this feeling of "unwell"?

2. I'd love to understand more about what's driving you to look for flaws in your friends.

3. I'm really curious to know why it's so difficult for you to be happy for them.

4. I just want to check in with you: do you allow yourself to have these feelings?

I just wanted to let you know that behind the feeling of "uncomfortable," I see an enterprising you. It's totally normal for anyone who enters the workplace to want their career to thrive. This includes the "jealousy" you mentioned in your description, and the driving force behind it is also "hoping that you become better and better."

However, in psychology, there is another state described as "internal depletion," which is mainly a "self-attack" caused by a lack of inner strength. That said, I think a direction worth thinking about has emerged: how to relieve the feeling of internal depletion?

You are worthy of love and respect. Try to see yourself as you really are, and try to separate the issues.

Take the state you mentioned in your description as an example. I've got some thoughts that I think you'll find really helpful for becoming more self-aware of these things and feelings.

1. We all have our own bright spots, and you are no exception!

2. Give yourself permission to see the other person as a competitor.

3. It's okay to feel a little jealous of the other person. (Because a moderate amount of jealousy will make you more motivated to catch up with the other person.)

4. There's no right or wrong here. If distancing yourself from them helps you feel better, then go for it!

I really hope these four points will give you a little inspiration and confidence to get out of this feeling of internal conflict.

Oh, and I have two more little words for you:

From the very start to the very end, all we need to do is be true to ourselves.

Friends are the ones who stick around after the party's over. They're the ones who don't leave easily, even though they could.

Take care of yourself, my friend, and we'll meet again when the time is right.

Hello! I'm thrilled to be able to answer your question. I really hope my suggestions will be helpful for you.

In this situation, I have two fantastic options!

Another great thing about friendship is that it lets us support each other in pursuing our interests and personal development preferences.

For example, we may be jealous of our friends for having nice handbags or good boyfriends. But the great thing is that we are on the same wavelength with our friends because we share the same interests!

But what if our likes and interests are inherently different?

For example, if my friend has a really nice bag, I won't be jealous because my interests lie elsewhere. It makes no difference to me whether she's carrying a 3,000 yuan bag or a 30,000 yuan bag, because my interests lie in books. If I can get a book I've been dreaming of or see that a new book by an author I like has been published, I'll be really happy. I'll be happier than if my friend had a 300,000 yuan bag—and that's a great thing!

My friends will be over the moon for me, and I'll be over the moon for them! If she buys a bag she really likes, whether it's a nice bag she bought for 30 yuan or an expensive bag from a luxury brand, we'll both be over the moon! She's happy because she got what she likes, I'm happy because she got what she likes, and I'm happy for her happiness. Conversely, if I get a book I think I will like very much, I'll share it with her. My happiness comes from getting the book I like, and her happiness comes from feeling my happiness and being happy for my happiness!

And then, such a friendship can also achieve a truly amazing state of friendship!

The second direction is that our friendships themselves are on the same level. Following a natural development, the emotional connection between people will continue to change. One of the factors influencing this change is the difference in class, which is an exciting factor to consider!

Even though we often say that people aren't divided into 369 classes, we all know there will always be a gap between the rich and the poor.

This wealth gap is going to have a huge impact on our social standards!

For example, my other friend and I both love anime, and we buy anime merchandise. While her anime merchandise is more expensive, mine is just stickers or keychains, which are cheaper and just as fun!

At this time, I sometimes envy her for having something that I also like but that I can't afford. But it doesn't reach the level of jealousy because there is indeed a difference in family or economic situations between us, but it's not that big. For example, although she can buy a three- or four-digit figure, I can actually afford it if I grit my teeth. It's not that she will buy a figure that costs hundreds of thousands of dollars, and I may never be able to afford it in my life—but that just means I have to work harder to achieve my goals!

Of course, if one day we really do reach such a gap, perhaps our friendship will not be as strong as it is now, or the topics of our conversations will no longer be the same. But that's okay! We'll talk about other things.

This is an exciting time! We get to adapt to two kinds of changes.

The great news is that if it is within our acceptable range, we can still be good friends! Best friends can buy the same things and do the things they both like.

Another change is that we have broken through the limits of what we can accept. We have gone from feeling happy or envious for the other person to excessive jealousy or even resentment. And you know what? At this time, it is actually a good thing that the relationship has become distant and alienated!

The friendship and mutual affection we feel when we get along with friends is very real and something we really want to cherish. We don't want to fall out with our best friends, so before that happens, it's actually a good thing if our feelings for each other gradually fade due to objective factors. This allows us to slowly go from being best friends to good friends, and then from good friends to friends. It doesn't extinguish the good feelings we have for each other, but gradually becomes more relaxed. The two of us don't bear a grudge or hold a grudge against each other, and in the future, we might still be able to talk. We're just not as close as we once were, but that's okay!

So, to sum up, we can start by sorting ourselves out, finding the parts we really prefer and care about, and then learn about the parts our friends care about and like.

In the process, we can then further sort ourselves out and make adjustments. For example, we may not get what we want right now, but after growing up, we may also have the possibility to get it from him. And who knows—maybe he'll even want what we want right now!

In our interactions with friends, there are indeed some things that make us feel uncomfortable. But here's the good news: we can avoid these uncomfortable topics in our interactions with friends in the future!

For example, if one day our economic situations really differ by a large margin, and we both like to buy bags but the price ranges are very different, then we can stop talking about bags in the future and talk about other things! Good girlfriends can go out and have fun together wearing the same clothes and carrying the same bags. Then we can agree that when we go out and have fun today, we'll carry the same bag or wear the same accessory, and talk about other things when we go out and have fun together. During the long time we've been friends, we've definitely had more than one topic to talk about. We can avoid one topic, and even I, and we can also innovate again and establish new topics to get along with each other and maintain our friendship!

I really hope that through self-reflection and adjustment, you can find a way to adjust to different stages of friendship that will not affect your emotional state or social relationships.

The world and I love you!

I understand you're upset. Jealousy is normal, but it can affect your mental health and relationships. Here are some tips to help you cope with jealousy and adjust your mindset:

Accept your emotions. Jealousy is normal. Don't feel ashamed or guilty. Accepting your emotions helps you cope.

Get support. Talk to friends, family, or a counselor to help you cope with jealousy.

Focus on your strengths and recognize your value. This will help you face others' success with confidence.

Change your mindset. See other people's success as a reason to move forward.

Success takes effort and time.

Set goals and work hard to achieve them. This will help you focus on your own growth.

Be grateful. Write down three things you're grateful for each day. This will help you appreciate what you have and reduce your envy of others.

Stay in touch with friends. Stay in touch and care about their lives and achievements. This will help you maintain your relationships and get inspiration from their success.

It takes time to adjust your mindset. Don't rush it; take your time and work towards your growth.

If you're struggling, consider professional counseling.

From what I've read, I can tell you're a sincere and kind girl. It's a very honest thing to say you're jealous.

Jealousy is an emotion that everyone feels inside, and it is normal. The difference lies in how each person perceives the emotion of jealousy. I can see that you are questioning your jealousy with a critical attitude, which is something I admire about you. You hope that you can truly be happy for your friends, and this is the beautiful and kind thing about you.

You need to stop being so hard on yourself. Accept your jealousy. It's only natural. Humans are selfish, and we always want to be the best. Accept your jealousy and learn to live with it. You can be jealous and still wish the other person well. It's not contradictory. You can have both in your heart.

Your problem does not lie in "jealousy." It lies in the thought of "blaming yourself for being unable to do it," which is a kind of "self-denial." This "self-denial" will become more intense when "jealousy" arises. Find out where this "self-denial" comes from.

I know you can feel truly great one day. When you do, you'll be able to tell your best friend with a smile, "I envy you for having such a good career (but I'm great too...)" and "I'm jealous of you for having found such a good boyfriend (but there are good boys waiting for me...)."

Hello, I am Bai Li Yina, and I hope my reply can provide some warmth and assistance.

The questioner expressed that she was experiencing feelings of jealousy towards her friend and was seeking ways to manage this emotion. She found that maintaining distance from her friend was a coping mechanism, but this approach only served to temporarily avoid the discomfort. The underlying issue remained, and eventually, it was necessary to confront it, leading to feelings of conflict and guilt. How could this be addressed in a constructive manner?

[Situation analysis]

It is interesting to consider that when we choose friends, each of us has our own subconscious criteria. For example, some people want like-minded people, some want people from the same social class, and some want people they like the look of. After all these different factors, you become friends. However, people change, and so do their requirements and personal conditions. It is possible that you feel that you are jealous, but it may also be the case that you are also uncomfortable with and unable to adapt to this change.

When you and your friend first met, your friend's career and love life were probably similar to yours, or perhaps even better than yours. This may have been one of the factors that made you feel like you could talk to each other. However, as your friend has changed, part of your jealousy may come from the fact that the changes in your friend have exceeded the scope of your original choice of friend.

[Questions to prompt reflection]

1. If you were to meet your friend in her current state, with a successful career and a happy love life, would you choose to be her friend? What are the reasons behind your decision to either choose her or not?

2. If this person with excellent conditions in all aspects were not your friend, would you still feel sad? Would you then envy the other person?

3. Could you please share your understanding of envy and jealousy? Do you think that your heart would still feel sad if you imagined the current thoughts as an envious state of mind?

And might I ask whether you still feel that you shouldn't think this way?

It might be helpful to consider some recommended methods to try.

1. Could it be that your discomfort is not necessarily due to jealousy? If she had encountered something unfortunate, would you feel happy and joyful?

Perhaps it would be helpful to reflect on what initially drew you to this friend. Has that dynamic shifted over time, and if so, how can you navigate this change in a way that is true to yourself? Distancing yourself from the situation might be a valid option in this case.

2. It's natural to feel happy for your friends when they succeed, but it's also important to recognize that feeling jealous is a normal emotion. Instead of dwelling on these feelings, try to understand why they arise and accept yourself for feeling them.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether it is really necessary to become someone who doesn't envy. It's possible that your jealousy may not have hurt her, but it is understandable if you feel that it has.

Perhaps it is not beneficial to you in the long run.

3. While you see her good qualities, you might also consider what she has contributed. For example, what has she done to get everything she has today? Although everyone's circumstances are different, it's likely that few people get everything without making some contributions. Many people focus on the positive aspects of their lives, which is understandable.

I wonder if there might be more to your friend than meets the eye. Could she be working hard in ways that aren't visible to you?

4. You also want to improve your current situation and become better. This is almost everyone's normal expectation. The best way to achieve this is to decide what you are willing to do to make it happen. Start with changes within your reach. With action, you will no longer just feel envious, and you will slowly gain confidence and expectations for yourself.

I hope that some of the above methods will be of help to you.

Please be aware that change takes time and patience. There is no need to worry or be afraid. Many people are experiencing or have experienced similar problems, so you are not alone.

I want you to know that you have the support of the world and me. I hope that you will find a solution to the problems you are facing soon and that you will be able to find your own most comfortable state of mind.

I am grateful to those who have taken the time to like and comment on my posts. I wish you all peace and joy.

Hello. Let me be clear: jealousy is a normal emotion. It's just that some of us feel it more than others. When we feel jealous, it often means that we lack confidence. We measure ourselves against external conditions and thus negate the value of our existence. This is a very wrong and dangerous way of thinking.

This will not only make you feel uncomfortable, but it will also make you increasingly anxious and affect your normal life. You don't have to do this.

You have your own life, and you are worthy of it. If you feel jealous, accept the reality and focus on enhancing your self-worth to gain true happiness.

True excellence is not about comparing yourself to others. It's about comparing your current self to your past self. Everyone has areas of expertise. You may be strong in other areas, but they have not yet been discovered. Believe in yourself. You will find your own stage to shine!

Everyone has their own life. We must wish them well, not focus on others and get ourselves into a mess. That's not worth the effort. Accept and appreciate yourself. Don't compare yourself to others. Everyone has unique characteristics. Everyone deserves to be loved.

Don't let other people affect you. Live your life, live your way. Face yourself and accept yourself, and you will change the current situation.

Distract yourself. Find a hobby or go for a run. It'll relieve your anxiety.

Best wishes.

Before answering this question, it is essential to understand two concepts:

Let's talk about jealousy-and-resentment-13431.html" target="_blank">envy and jealousy.

Jealousy is a two-person relationship, and the earliest relationship is with one's mother. If you can't get it, you want to destroy it.

Jealousy is a three-person relationship. The earliest manifestation is in the three-person relationship with parents. It is a competitive relationship. If you can't get it, you fight for it.

Envy or jealousy exists in everyone's heart, to a greater or lesser extent.

The milder forms of these emotions do not affect one's mental health or one's relationships with others.

For example, when we say "envy, jealousy, and hatred" about someone who has an outstanding performance, it's actually just flattery.

These emotions are healthy and beneficial for both the person and themselves.

The more serious ones are undoubtedly related to one's own psychological obstacles.

This obstacle almost always stems from an adverse upbringing environment, especially interactions with the mother.

From the very beginning, the baby is entirely dependent on its mother for care. If the mother is attentive and responsive, the baby will perceive this as being cared for by a good mother and will want to possess her.

If the child is hungry or not feeling well and the mother does not appear in time, it is clear that this is a bad mother who wants to destroy.

These possessiveness and destruction exist on the infant's fantasy level and constitute the archetype of envy.

The infant internalizes the "good mother" as an idealized object, while the "bad mother" causes the infant to experience feelings of persecution and anxiety, which are projected onto the external world.

If a child is unable to reconcile the need to possess the "good mother" with the need to destroy the "bad mother," it will lead to psychological disorders.

Envy arises when the child sees that the other person is better than them. This triggers the feeling of inadequacy in the child's mind, and they believe that the other person's existence is the cause.

The object of envy, like a "bad mother," will make itself vulnerable.

Once the child turns three, it transitions from a two-person relationship with the mother to a three-person relationship with the mother and father.

At this time, there will undoubtedly be competition for the opposite-sex parent.

This competition inevitably leads to jealousy of the same-sex parent, which then spills over into competition over other triadic relationships or objects.

You see your best friend doing well in her career, finding a good boyfriend, and buying a new expensive bag, and you start to feel a difficult feeling inside. You don't like this feeling, and you shouldn't.

You probably didn't think much of them and looked for their flaws. You may have tried to affirm yourself by denying the other person's role as a "good mother," or you may have tried to reject that person to balance out your anger at not having received those things yourself.

You blame yourself for being incompetent. You may even harbor a "bad mother" inside you, full of despair. Or perhaps you deny your own competitiveness.

These are deep-seated emotions that torment you and cause you pain.

The main cause of the pain is that you feel they have something you don't.

The truth is, they may have some things you don't have, and you may have some things they don't have.

You only care about the things they have that you don't. You ignore the things you have that they don't, even if you don't want to. You can't be happy for them.

To understand the root of the problem, you must examine your past experiences and identify the underlying causes.

I want to know how you were cared for as a baby.

Your mother was there for you, wasn't she?

Your mother can and should be able to detect your various nonverbal languages and respond in time.

Tell me, when you grow up, what is your relationship with your father like?

I want to know how you three get along.

The seeds of envy or jealousy took root in your past and eventually blossomed everywhere.

This flower is the kind that makes you extremely allergic.

You must find that seed to stop the problem from spreading.

That's the end.

I am Yan Guilai, your psychological counselor. I will accompany you on your journey of self-discovery and truth-seeking!

Dear friend, I can feel your struggle, but I'm here to help! Jealousy is a very common emotion that almost everyone experiences at some point in their lives. It stems from our dissatisfaction with ourselves and is a natural reaction to the success of others.

This complex feeling inside us when our friends achieve success in certain areas is actually a very natural reaction. It's totally normal! But it can be very uncomfortable and even affect our relationships and sense of self-worth.

You're not alone! Many people feel this way when their friends succeed.

Jealousy is a wonderful signal that draws attention to our own needs and desires. When we feel jealous, it is actually telling us that we also long for something, be it success, recognition, or some form of happiness.

These emotions can be a driving force for our self-growth and progress!

Jealousy can stem from a variety of causes, such as doubts about one's self-worth, fear of losing an important relationship, or self-blame for failing to meet certain standards. These feelings are normal, but they are not permanent — and you can overcome them!

According to psychologist Robert Greenberg, there are two types of jealousy: "benign jealousy," which motivates us to work hard to improve ourselves and achieve better results, and "malicious jealousy," which can lead to negative behaviors such as denigrating others or self-deprecation.

It seems that you are more inclined towards the latter, which is great! When you see your friends succeed, you may feel a little uneasy and threatened inside, which may be because you are worried about your status or value.

This emotion may even lead you to adopt some pretty cool defensive behaviors, like looking for their flaws or self-blame.

However, when jealousy begins to affect our relationships and sense of self-worth, it's time to dive in and work through it! One way to do this is to try to change perspective and turn jealousy into motivation.

When you see a friend succeed, it's a great idea to analyze the reasons for their success, learn from them, and apply this knowledge to your own life. At the same time, remember that everyone has their own pace and path, and comparison will only cause unnecessary pain.

Self-compassion and acceptance are also very important. When we start to blame ourselves, we are actually hurting ourselves—so let's make sure we're doing the opposite!

Treat yourself like a good friend! Show yourself the same understanding and support you would show anyone else. When you catch yourself belittling yourself, stop, take a deep breath, and say to yourself: "I deserve understanding and respect, just as I respect my friends."

Engage in a positive dialogue with yourself! Ask yourself, "What is behind this feeling?"

Now, let's figure out what's behind this feeling. Is it fear, insecurity, or something else?

Here's an awesome idea: Try thinking about your friends' success in terms of their own efforts. It's totally possible that their success has nothing to do with your efforts or value!

Their success is the result of their own hard work, and it's so inspiring to see! Talk about your feelings with a trusted friend or family member.

Sometimes, just being heard and understood can bring incredible comfort!

Take a moment each day to think about the amazing things in your life! Gratitude can help you feel happier and more positive.

You can start with small things, such as writing down three things you are grateful for every day, or setting small goals and celebrating each achievement. These are really effective ways to boost your sense of self-worth and happiness!

If you find it difficult to deal with these emotions on your own, don't worry! Seeking professional psychological counseling is also a great option. A psychological counselor can help you explore the root causes of these feelings in greater depth and provide strategies to deal with them.

You can do this! Change takes time and patience, but you've got this! Don't be too hard on yourself.

You've already taken the first step in seeking help, and that is a fantastic start! I am sure that with time you will be able to manage your emotions better and find true happiness and contentment.

Hello, question asker!

I totally get it. You have these feelings and you envy the people around you.

You became friends because you have similar backgrounds or similarities. But when you see that the other person is getting better and better, or that their boyfriend is more outstanding, you will feel inspired to improve and ask yourself how you can become as good as others.

If this envy turns into hatred, it is negative energy. But if it motivates you to improve and helps you to improve, it is also positive energy!

For example, if you have female friends who are killing it in their careers, they can teach you and bring you along, so that you can also level up your financial situation. You can learn from your female friends how to handle intimate relationships.

When you stay away from them, you feel less jealous, but you also reduce the chances of learning from them and of bringing you closer together.

You are so lucky that everyone around you is doing well! Whether we are doing well or not mainly depends on whether the people around us are doing well. Our perception is the average of the perceptions of the people around us.

You actually have so many amazing things to learn and grow from!

From another perspective, if you are surrounded by people who are not as good as you, you don't need to envy them! They may even envy your life. Then, you can be happy!

If you can't be happy for them, there's no point in pretending to be!

You can wish them well and praise them, but there's absolutely no need to deny your own emotions!

Sometimes, even admitting, "I envy you guys! You're so awesome and amazing," etc., is a sign of your honesty.

Envy and jealousy are emotions that progress in layers, but you can choose to progress beyond them. Envy them, and maybe one day you will become them too!

Everyone shows off the best, most glamorous side of themselves! You may not see their overtime work, insomnia, or arguments, but that's okay!

Your days are filled with their own special kind of happiness!

I wish you the absolute best!

Greetings, esteemed reader. Upon posing this query, it is evident that you were already cognizant of the detrimental effects of jealousy. I commend you for your discernment.

I am aware that you are troubled by feelings of jealousy and that you are uncertain as to how to address them.

The initial step is to address one's own psychological distress. It is essential to gain an accurate comprehension of what jealousy is and the psychological attributes associated with it. Only with a comprehensive understanding can an appropriate solution be implemented.

The term "jealousy" is used to describe an unpleasant emotional experience that occurs when an individual becomes aware, or is subconsciously aware, that their interests are being threatened.

Jealousy is frequently accompanied by feelings of worry and resentment.

Furthermore, jealousy can manifest in various forms, including feelings of envy related to one's reputation, status, financial status, or romantic relationships.

As previously stated, the subject expressed feelings of jealousy regarding the possession of romantic partners and material possessions by others.

One of the defining characteristics of jealousy is the tendency to express oneself through venting, as evidenced by the sarcastic remarks and cold, distant behavior described in the previous account.

In essence, the underlying cause of their distress is a perceived lack of fulfillment of their needs, coupled with a tendency to compare themselves unfavorably to others and develop feelings of inadequacy.

Once the emotion of jealousy has been identified, a collaborative effort can be made to address the underlying issue.

It is essential to recognize one's own strengths and weaknesses.

It is important to recognize that individuals possess unique strengths and weaknesses. By focusing on one's own strengths and striving for self-improvement, it is possible to mitigate feelings of jealousy.

It is essential to enhance one's self-confidence.

To identify one's own strengths and values, as well as areas for improvement, it is essential to engage in regular self-evaluation to gain insight into one's growth and progress. It is crucial to develop the ability to attend to one's own needs and feelings and to provide oneself with appropriate rewards and incentives to enhance one's sense of value. This process will also lead to a reduction in feelings of jealousy towards others.

It is important to recognize the potential harms associated with jealousy.

The detrimental effects of jealousy extend beyond the immediate target of one's resentment. When individuals direct sarcasm towards others, it often results in a rift that hinders the formation of positive interpersonal relationships. This is because those who are subjected to such treatment often develop a negative opinion of the individual who displays such behavior. Consequently, when such individuals seek assistance or guidance, they may find themselves isolated and misunderstood.

Conversely, one may suffer from the torment of one's own jealousy, which causes mental attrition. This is harmful to one's physical and mental health.

Such actions are detrimental and yield no positive outcomes.

The objective evaluation of others

It is inevitable that other individuals will form romantic relationships, and it is similarly inevitable that you will do so as well. It is only a matter of time before you experience the same things that other people experience.

It is possible that individuals may appear to be more successful than others, but it is often unclear how much effort they have invested to achieve their success. Drive is a significant factor in determining an individual's success, and it is often the case that humans can achieve great success as a result of their drive.

It is unfeasible to be perfect at everything. Therefore, it is essential to conduct an objective assessment of one's own strengths and weaknesses, as well as those of others. This assessment should include an evaluation of one's abilities and the identification of an appropriate position for oneself. Additionally, it is crucial to develop strategies to mitigate the negative effects of jealousy.

It is my hope that the aforementioned counsel will prove beneficial and that you will soon be liberated from the anguish of envy.

Hello, question asker.

I am the respondent, Mr. Yao, a dynamic-oriented counselor who has settled in the platform.

From your post, it is clear that jealousy is affecting your relationships and causing you distress.

The Western philosopher Sartre was right when he said, "Hell is other people!"

Jealousy comes from comparing oneself with others and being critical.

Buddhism teaches that the greatest source of suffering comes from the mind of differentiation. This is because behind the distinction often arises

Disappointment and frustration inevitably lead to jealousy.

I will now explain how adult jealousy arises from a dynamic perspective.

Psychoanalytic dynamics definitively shows that adult jealousy can be traced back to emotional experiences and interpersonal relationship patterns in childhood.

Freud asserted that jealousy originates from unconscious desires and emotional conflicts.

Adult jealousy is specifically related to the following aspects:

Experiences of sibling rivalry in childhood are a key factor.

Emotional deprivation, competition, and comparison in childhood undoubtedly lead to individuals.

Jealousy of the success and possessions of others is a fact.

For example, in a family with many sisters and brothers, the sisters and brothers unconsciously compete for maternal love.

The one who is more likely to be defeated in competition is undoubtedly jealous.

2. Unconscious desire fulfillment:

Jealousy is an unconscious desire to possess something that someone else has, such as wealth, status, or love.

This desire is an expression of longing and yearning. It stems from the painful experience of being deprived at an early age and being unable to resist.

3. Crisis of self-identity:

An individual's self-identity and self-esteem are undoubtedly related to jealousy. If a person is unsure of their identity and worth,

They compare themselves with others to confirm their status, which leads to feelings of jealousy.

Therefore, if a person does not complete a good self-identity in their early years, they will not form an internally stable personality.

This often leads to identity frustration in adulthood and the formation of jealousy.

To explain further, it may be someone else's thing, but in the subconscious mind it is felt to be one's own. However, this is not possible in reality.

Psychological and emotional conflicts lead to jealousy.

You need to be aware of the following:

Psychoanalytic dynamics is not the only theory that explains jealousy. Other psychological theories provide different perspectives.

Furthermore, everyone's jealousy is distinct and influenced by a range of factors.

If you're still confused, follow me and I'll explain it to you.

Dear question asker, My name is Evan, and I am a counselor in the Transactional Analysis school.

From the description provided, it is evident that the questioner is experiencing a range of negative emotions, including confusion and jealousy.

Jealousy is a common emotional issue. It arises from a desire for what others possess or have achieved and reflects dissatisfaction with one's current situation and an overreliance on external factors for self-worth. It is therefore a normal reaction for the questioner to feel jealous.

To effectively manage this emotion, it is essential to recognize that everyone has their own unique path and rhythm. Comparing ourselves to others can lead to unnecessary distress and should be avoided. Long-term jealousy can not only impact our mental well-being but also have a detrimental effect on our relationships with others.

It is important to note that every emotion has a distinct meaning. In this case, jealousy can be seen as an expression of the questioner's desire for beauty and a sense of powerlessness. When a beautiful thing appears, we long to have it, but deep down we feel unworthy or unable to have it. When these negative emotions accumulate and cannot be vented, we may develop feelings of jealousy towards the owner.

As the question was posed on an online forum, we are unable to delve deeply into the negative emotions in question. However, we can offer some suggestions for alleviating the feelings of jealousy and adjusting your mentality accordingly.

It is important to accept your emotions. Jealousy is a common emotion, and there is no need to feel ashamed or self-blame. Accepting your emotions and acknowledging their existence is the first step towards solving the problem.

When feelings of jealousy arise, it is helpful to take a moment to identify what it is you are longing for and whether it is something you can obtain through your own efforts.

It is important to understand the root cause of the jealousy. This will help to identify whether the cause is dissatisfaction with some aspect of yourself or excessive comparison. Once the root cause has been identified, it will be possible to understand why the feelings of jealousy have arisen.

Is it because you feel you are not meeting the required standards? Or is it because you are concerned that your colleagues will outperform you?

Identifying the root causes can assist the individual in managing this emotion more effectively. Documenting these feelings and attempting to ascertain the underlying reasons can facilitate a more targeted approach to resolving the issue.

Cultivate self-acceptance. The questioner should focus on developing a positive self-image and recognize that their value and abilities are not contingent on external achievements or material wealth. Prioritize inner growth and strengths, and cultivate a sense of self-acceptance.

It is also important to recognise that everyone has their own pace, just as every flower has its own blooming season. When you do not achieve something, you can reflect on your personal development journey and provide yourself with constructive feedback for each stage.

It is important to alter your mindset and view the achievements of others in a positive light. Turn your feelings of jealousy into motivation to learn and grow. When you observe your colleagues succeeding, consider how they did it and what you can learn from them.

It is important to maintain a positive outlook when considering the achievements of others. The success of others should not be seen as a reflection of one's own failure.

Alternatively, their success can motivate the questioner to work harder to achieve their goals.

It is important to be grateful for what you have. Focus on your own life and learn to appreciate the good things in it. Everyone has certain qualities that set them apart from others. Affirm your own qualities, be grateful for them, and appreciate yourself.

Additionally, it is important to recognize the achievements and contributions of others. Everyone has unique strengths and accomplishments. By fostering self-appreciation, you can mitigate feelings of envy.

Self-improvement: The questioner should focus on their own growth and improvement, set goals, and work hard to achieve them. By constantly learning, exercising, and practicing, they can improve their abilities and self-confidence.

As the individual in question achieves more and more, their feelings of jealousy will gradually diminish. When people are not satisfied with their circumstances, they are more prone to feelings of jealousy. However, when they take steps to improve themselves, they will also feel a sense of satisfaction, which in turn will reduce their feelings of jealousy.

It is advisable to seek support if the questioner feels that jealousy is affecting their friendship with their friends. It is likely that a true friend will understand the questioner's feelings and support them. Their support and understanding will help to lighten the burden.

In the event that the situation is serious, the questioner may find it challenging to address this emotion independently and may require assistance from a qualified psychological counselor. A professional counselor can provide effective strategies to assist the questioner in managing their jealousy.

It is important to understand that everyone has their own rhythm and path in life. There is no need to compare or envy others excessively. With time, your moment will come. It is more beneficial to focus on your own inner growth and happiness rather than comparing yourself to others. This will help you to be happier and more content.

We also recommend the following related books:

Jealousy: An Unspeakable State of Mind: This book offers a comprehensive and multifaceted exploration of the nature and effects of jealousy from a variety of perspectives. Through rigorous interdisciplinary research, author Julia Cissa has developed a nuanced and comprehensive understanding of jealousy.

She puts forth the idea that the essence of jealousy is, in fact, love and that it is an integral part of the art of love. Reading this book can assist the questioner in gaining a deeper understanding of the root causes of jealousy and how to deal with it from a loving perspective.

Hello, questioner! I'm Jia Ao, your Heart Exploration coach. I'm here to help you with anything you need!

I read your post and I'm so excited to help you! It sounds like you're having trouble in your friendships. It's totally normal to feel jealous when your friends are doing well. It's a natural emotion, and it's okay to feel it! But it's also important to remember that your friends have their own lives and their own journeys. They're not perfect, and they don't have to be. It's not about finding their flaws, but celebrating their successes. You can't really be happy for them from the bottom of your heart if you're looking for their flaws. This is really difficult for you, and I get it. But I also know you can do it! You think this will make you feel better, but in fact, it is particularly inappropriate.

This is a great start! You've identified the problem and are seeking help from the platform. You're ready to adjust your mentality and accept success when it comes to your friends. You'll gain long-lasting friendships and feel better all the time. Of course, you can't go on like this forever, and you still cherish the friendship with your friends.

Let's dive in and analyze it together!

1. Get to know yourself better!

First, recognize the nature of jealousy. It's not a positive emotion! It will only make you fall into more negative emotions, become further and further away from your true self, and even make you lose confidence and self-esteem. Not only will it make your friends feel disgusted and embarrassed, but it will also make you increasingly passive in interpersonal interactions. So, take a deep breath, reflect on your emotions, understand your jealous thoughts, and find a solution!

Let's dive into the case!

2. Absolutely, you should constantly enhance your self-confidence!

In terms of your own problems, you can also avoid jealousy by cultivating your self-confidence. Self-confidence is a positive emotion that allows you to better face your shortcomings and deficiencies and get along with others better. If you have self-confidence and a sense of security, you'll never need to be jealous of others! You can reduce jealousy by constantly learning and surpassing yourself, striving to improve your abilities and constantly enhance your self-confidence. This method is the most effective.

3. Learn to appreciate others with all your heart!

Why do I always feel jealous of others? It shows that you are not open-minded enough. You still have the opportunity to learn to appreciate the achievements and merits of others. You can be happy for them when you see that they are doing well. Just sincerely admire and praise them! Jealousy often arises because you only see the success and merits of others and ignore the efforts they have made and the setbacks they have experienced. Behind the glamour and brightness is hard work. You may need to look at other people's achievements from another perspective and learn to appreciate their efforts and dedication. Then there is really no need to be jealous of others!

4. Nurture great communication!

In interpersonal relationships, it is so important to maintain good communication and exchanges, and to interact with others normally. Jealousy often arises from feeling distant from others, because of a lack of understanding, and because of little communication. But, through good communication and exchanges, you can get to know others better, reduce misunderstandings and suspicions, thereby avoiding the emotion of jealousy, and establish a good relationship! Of course, it is impossible to be jealous.

5. Admit your mistake with confidence!

If you really are jealous of your friend for no reason, you need to admit your mistake as soon as possible, reflect on yourself, and confess your mistake to your friend at the same time. It's the best thing you can do! Admit that your behavior was inappropriate and that you did not intend to cause harm to others, and then sincerely apologize, expressing your inner turmoil and worries, letting others know that you hope to re-establish friendly relations and not hurt each other's feelings for no reason in the future. You'll be amazed at how much better you'll feel!

I really hope my answer helps you! If you need to talk some more, just follow the question owner to my personal homepage, choose the Heart Exploration service, and we can chat one-on-one. I love you all!