Friends always feel that others owe them something. How do you get along with them?

Hello, I'm Xiaoxie, a listening therapist. It's clear you value this friend very much! You really hope she can change and you can continue to get along well with her. However, her attitude towards things and people makes it difficult for you to accept her. You don't know what to do, but I'm here to help!

Yes, you are more tolerant of life, you are easy to be contented with, and you can enjoy the beauty in ordinary days. You have a strong sense of happiness. Your friend, however, always seems to complain and is never satisfied. She always feels that what she is given is what she should get, and what she sees is what she has not got, while what she has got is neglected. Therefore, she is always depressed and does not feel happy from the existing life. But you, my friend, are different! You are more tolerant of life, you are easy to be contented with, and you can enjoy the beauty in ordinary days. You have a strong sense of happiness. You are the one who can help your friend to see the beauty in ordinary days.

You two are different, and that's what makes you unique!

It's so interesting how everyone's personality and values are formed in relation to their early growth experiences and environment! From your friend's perspective on people and things, according to Freud's theory, it seems that she is still stuck in the omnipotent narcissistic stage of infancy, and has not been well satisfied or completed object separation. This means that she will always demand from others, is never satisfied, and always thinks that others' kindness to her is only natural. In addition, the environment and things she experienced after she became an adult may not have given her a good opportunity to resolve this part of herself, so this is a legacy issue for her.

Now, let's talk about how you can get along with her! First, try to understand her. Really get to know her and feel her state and mood. You'll be amazed at how much you'll learn about her! Then, accept her. Accept her as a person with different values and personality. When you do, you'll feel a weight lifted off your shoulders! Finally, influence her through communication and interaction. Let her know that you're optimistic and sweet!

I really hope the above answers can help you feel better! If you need more help, you can also seek further professional assistance.

Wishing you the very best!

Dear Sir/Madam, I hope this message finds you well. I am contacting you today regarding a matter that requires your attention. Best regards,

1. The act of blaming and complaining is a projection of feelings of incompetence and an avoidance of personal accountability.

A colleague who is dissatisfied with their circumstances often attributes their unhappiness to external factors. By attributing blame, expressing discontent, and directing criticism towards external parties, they are, in fact, highlighting their own lack of agency and avoidance of personal responsibility.

When I encounter setbacks in my professional life, I feel helpless. I lack the ability to resolve issues and take ownership of my actions.

I am the victim in this situation. The responsibility for this outcome lies with you.

You are accountable for my well-being. You are the primary cause of this situation.

The outward appearance of aggressiveness and anger is a disguise for the inner feelings of powerlessness and incompetence. It is also an avoidance tactic that allows individuals to evade taking real responsibility for their own actions and decisions.

By expressing anger, individuals attempt to disguise their sense of powerlessness and evade accountability. Living in anger and complaining allows them to indulge in the fantasy that they are right and that others are at fault.

Furthermore, there is no need to confront one's true vulnerability and powerlessness, nor to address the issue of continued inaction.

2. Your feelings may be those of a colleague.

When a colleague raises concerns about perceived injustices, it is helpful to consider how you would feel in that situation. Would you feel similarly powerless or angry? These feelings may not necessarily reflect your own, but rather the emotions experienced by the individual sharing their concerns.

When faced with the reality of dissatisfaction, a friend may feel powerless and unsure of how to proceed, leading to feelings of anger. This can manifest as complaining.

When you feel powerless and angry, do not dismiss these feelings. Use them as clues to gain insight into your colleague's inner world and explore the possibility of discussing her genuine inner confusion while actively listening. For instance, is she uncertain about how to interact with her colleagues?

Do you feel that you lack the necessary capabilities? Are you uncertain about your direction in life?

Furthermore,

It is important to guide your colleague out of the state of complaining and attacking and to facilitate a discussion about their inner unease, fears, and difficult feelings. This will enable them to return to a place of vulnerability.

This provides significant relief and support for colleagues. The individual in question no longer feels the need to disguise themselves through anger and complaining.

These discussions can also be used to gain insight into the truth of the matter at hand and to identify underlying fears. If these discussions can be held in an atmosphere free of judgment and full of goodwill, colleagues will gradually develop the willingness and courage to see reality, face reality, and solve real-world problems.

3. Provide understanding without judgment and support without complaining.

It is possible that when faced with your colleague's complaints, you may also experience some challenges within. You may feel angry and want to correct and change your colleague.

It is also possible that you have been affected by your friend's powerlessness and anger, which may have caused you to experience a sense of powerlessness and anger within yourself. Asking a question is a way of "complaining" about your friend and relieving the sense of powerlessness and anger within yourself.

When faced with negative energy, we tend to either reject it or attempt to correct the other person. However, attempting to change your friend will result in your involvement and potential absorption into the negative energy vortex of your friend, which is neither beneficial for you nor your friend.

When faced with the negative energy of a colleague, it is advisable to choose to understand without judging and to support without complaining. From a neutral position, it is unnecessary to correct your colleague, and you will not be easily swayed by emotions yourself. Instead, you can create a work environment without judgement, where you can truly connect with your colleague and see a more authentic version of yourself.

This approach offers significant benefits for both friends and individuals.

I hope this information is helpful. I am available for further discussion if needed.

Best regards,

Hello! Spending time with such a friend can be challenging. The fact that you're asking this question shows that your friend's perceptions, ideas, and behaviors differ from what you hold in esteem or expect. You're trying to find ways to get along more comfortably and at the same time, trying to help your friend establish more correct ideas and perceptions about how to get along in the world.

It's great to have such a friend, but we also have to be realistic and accept that "it is difficult to change a person, unless your friend truly realizes that she needs to change and is willing to try to do so."

It's important to recognize what you can do in this situation.

First, remember to maintain your own identity. Everyone has their own values and opinions, and you shouldn't try to forcefully change others. It's important to stick to your principles and values while also respecting your friend's choices and opinions.

You might want to try setting some personal boundaries to avoid getting too involved in her problems or taking on her responsibilities. Let her know you care about her, but don't let her problems become a nuisance in your life. You also have your own life and needs that require attention.

Second, communication and expression: It can be tough to change someone, but it's still important to communicate appropriately as a friend. You can choose the right time to share your views with your friend in a calm manner and try to start a dialogue instead of forcing your views on them.

However, try to avoid criticizing or accusing her, as this will only lead to conflict.

When she's complaining, listen to what she's saying but don't get carried away by her negativity. You can steer her towards a more positive outlook or offer some constructive suggestions.

Third, adjust expectations. Remember that everyone has their own path in life and their own pace of growth, which may not match your expectations. Accept your friend as she is and try to understand her thoughts and actions from her perspective.

At the same time, you can also share your views on life to show her there are different perspectives. For example, you can share your definition of happiness or the things you think you should be grateful for.

Fourth, give each other some space. If your friend's views and actions are very different from yours, you may need to give each other some space to reduce the likelihood of over-involvement and conflict. At the right time, encourage her to think about the impact of her actions and attitudes on others.

You can encourage her to reflect on her own perspective by asking questions, such as, "I understand how you feel, but maybe we can try to look at things from a different angle. What do you think?"

Fifth, focus on your own growth. Focus more on your own growth and development, find people who are more in line with your values to associate with, and establish positive and healthy interpersonal relationships. When she complains to you again, help her focus on her current happiness and achievements, rather than excessively pursuing an idealized future life.

Encourage her to enjoy the beauty of the present and cultivate a grateful heart. Let her know that you'll always support her growth. For example, you could say, "I think we're already very happy, and we have a lot to be grateful for, such as..."

Sixth, accept natural filtering. It's important to recognize that relationships in life are a natural filtering process. Some people will go further, while others may gradually become estranged. This is normal, so there's no need to obsess or force it.

Spending time with such a friend requires patience and understanding, but you should also stick to your values and not be influenced negatively. With appropriate communication and guidance, I hope she can gradually change her attitude and learn to be grateful and cherish what she has.

Also, make sure you take care of your own emotions and needs, and try not to let her problems affect your life too much.

I hope your efforts will help you and your friend become better together.

I hope you found my sharing inspiring and helpful. Best wishes!

Good morning. I would like to extend my support and encouragement to you both.

When your friend receives unconditional support from her parents, she does not feel grateful. Similarly, when your friend complains about her internship to you, she does not feel grateful. Furthermore, when your friend encounters other people's dedication to her, she does not feel grateful. She also feels entitled to a better life, as if she cannot perceive reality clearly. This seems to be your friend's general assessment.

You have a deep understanding of your friend's values, expectations, and circumstances. You hold your friend in high regard and believe they have already achieved a great deal. However, you also perceive a certain degree of envy towards your friend. Additionally, you feel that your friend's actions may be perceived as "greedy" or "ungrateful." You also recognise that your friend's perceptions, ideas, and ways of dealing with people may not fully align with your own values.

You and your friend have different backgrounds and perspectives, yet you can still maintain a cordial relationship. As Confucius said, "Harmony in diversity."

It is possible that your values lead you to believe that it is already challenging for parents to fully financially support their children to study abroad. Parents often demonstrate unconditional financial support for their children, and in such cases, it is important to recognize and appreciate their commitment. However, your friend's values appear to be centered on her own needs and desires. She views her parents' sacrifices as a natural part of life, and her parents are similarly accustomed to providing for her. This dynamic may contribute to a positive relationship between her and her parents.

There is nothing inherently problematic about this situation, except that your upbringing and perceptions differ.

From your perspective, an internship at a domestic law firm with a competitive salary is an acceptable proposition. However, your colleague is not satisfied with the role and feels that the work is tiring, the salary is low, and the atmosphere is poor.

What would constitute satisfactory results for you? It is understood that everyone has a different concept of what constitutes satisfaction. You have your own standards, as does your colleague, and therefore you are both using your own standards to judge the results of this work.

There is nothing inherently problematic about this situation. The issue arises when there is a discrepancy in expectations.

In your value system, a person who has made an effort on your behalf will likely be viewed as having made a valuable contribution.

It is important to remember that any kind of relationship is mutual and that both parties are involved. However, your friend may not be grateful for this, but rather feel that it is something that others should do. It is therefore your responsibility to teach her how to be grateful. However, whether or not she learns to be grateful is up to her. Given that your friend has been used to receiving since she was young, she probably doesn't know how to give either.

There is no inherent problem with either of you, except that you have different views on gratitude.

Both you and your friend attended ordinary schools and grew up in ordinary families. It is therefore important to focus on leading a good life now, while working towards your long-term goals. However, your friend feels that she should be better off than she is, which is a perfectly valid aspiration. The key issue is that everyone's route to a better life is different.

The decision of whether to rely on others or oneself is a personal choice and a matter of individual preference.

There is no inherent problem with either party; the issue is simply a difference in attitude.

You have identified several areas of concern regarding your friend's behavior and are seeking to implement changes. However, it is important to recognize that influencing another person's character, cognition, and values is a challenging endeavor. These attributes are shaped by a multitude of factors, including family, educational background, and external circumstances. As the ancient adage goes, "It is easy to change the country and mountains, but difficult to change one's nature."

Furthermore, I am curious as to whether your friend has had a negative impact on you, prompting you to consider making changes.

Additionally, you referenced strategies for maintaining a positive relationship with her. Are there any challenges in your current dynamic?

1. Remain true to your principles. You can negotiate, but you cannot unquestioningly accommodate others.

2. Accept the differences between you and allow for different values. There is no such thing as a perfect match, and no two people have completely identical values. Meeting is a matter of fate, but getting along requires effort. A relationship is the result of two people moving in the same direction. If only one person is trying hard, the sustainability of the relationship is questionable.

3. Understand the parameters of your relationship. Despite being friends, you and your colleague are two distinct individuals. It is essential to differentiate between your respective roles and responsibilities, while maintaining a cordial and professional relationship.

I am unsure if this will be of assistance, but I hope you experience happiness on a daily basis.

I would like to take this opportunity to extend my personal regards to you and to express my appreciation for your contributions to our organization.

Hello! I'm Qiuqiu, and I'm so happy to have this chance to answer your question.

From your question, I can tell that your friend's behavior has caused you some distress and you're not sure how to get along with her. At the same time, you're also a little confused, wondering why she is still not satisfied and not grateful, even though she is obviously already very happy.

I'd love to share my thoughts with you, in the hope that they'll give you some perspective and inspiration!

First of all, everyone has a different definition of happiness and feels differently about it. You may think that your friend is happy because she has the financial support of her parents and has a well-paid job, but she may not see it that way.

It's possible that she'd rather have her parents understand her than support her financially, and that she'd rather do what she likes than earn a salary.

Of course, this is not necessarily the case, but it is just an assumption on my part. I really want to share with you that your happiness is not the same as your friend's happiness.

So, when she complains, it might be a good idea to put aside your own thoughts and try to listen to her. When she feels listened to, she may complain less.

Secondly, from your question, it seems like you might be doing more than she is, but she doesn't seem to feel grateful for it. This can make you feel a bit misunderstood and like you're not being accepted. It's totally normal to feel a little sad about it.

In this situation, I want to share with you that everyone has their own logic and way of interacting, which is related to her upbringing. If you want to continue getting along with her, I think you should try to express your thoughts and feelings and let her know what distress her behavior has caused you.

Of course, if you don't feel comfortable expressing yourself and would rather not suffer, you can also choose to temporarily distance yourself from this friend. You don't have to feel any guilt about it either. People are attracted to each other, and if you are drained in a relationship, it simply means that the relationship is not suitable for you at this stage.

I really do think that, when we've grown up a little more, this relationship will change.

Third, from your question, I also get the feeling that you might have some hidden envy and accusation towards this friend. I'm not sure if this is right, but I'm here to listen if you want to talk about it.

It's so interesting how the world we see is actually a reflection of our inner selves. When you have some alone time or when you're in a safe space, you can really benefit from taking a step back and looking at your relationship with your friend. What kind of self do you see in her?

I'd love to know what feelings this part of yourself brings you, and how you feel about this part of yourself.

When we see ourselves and understand ourselves through the mirror of a friend, we might just find a whole new way of looking at this friend, and our relationship might change for the better!

I really hope this helps! ? Stay well!

It can be tough to be friends with someone like this. Don't worry, though! Here are some tips to help you out:

1. Communicate honestly: Find the right moment to share your observations and feelings with her in a calm manner. For example, you could say, "I feel that sometimes you may have too high expectations of life. In fact, you are already very happy, with supportive parents and good living conditions."

2. Share your own views: Show her the beauty and happiness in life by sharing your own experiences or stories of gratitude. You could say, "I have also had difficult times, but I have learned to be grateful because I have found that even small things can make me happy."

3. Encourage her to reflect on herself: Sometimes people need to understand and change on their own. You can gently encourage her to spend some time thinking about whether her values and life goals are consistent with her actions.

4. Give her some positive energy! Try to avoid criticizing or blaming her, and instead communicate with her in a positive way. Share some positive news, stories, or your own happy moments to make her feel the beauty in life.

5. Lead by example: Show gratitude and appreciation through your own actions. This may have a subtle influence on her.

6. Respect her choice: At the end of the day, whether she can change depends on her. If she's not ready to accept your advice, that's okay! Just remember to respect her choice and take care of your own feelings and boundaries.

Remember, changing someone's views and attitudes takes time, and everyone's path to growth is different. Be patient and understanding during this process, and don't forget to take care of yourself too!

If her attitude and behavior are really getting to you, you might want to think about reducing contact with her a bit or finding some new friends who are a bit more positive and optimistic.

Hello, my name is Berek, and I'm here to help!

It's so important to understand and accept that everyone is different. That's the foundation of a healthy relationship! The friend you mentioned might need a little help with some unhealthy psychological tendencies, like being overly self-centered, lacking a grateful heart, and being dissatisfied and complaining about real life.

These problems might have come from her upbringing, family education, or personal experiences. Whatever the reason, as a friend, we can try some methods to improve our relationship with her and help her adjust her mindset.

It's so important to keep a calm mind and be patient when you're spending time with her. Try not to be affected by her negative emotions and maintain your own positive attitude.

At the same time, you can try to establish better communication through listening and understanding. When she complains or expresses dissatisfaction, give her some support and understanding, but also guide her to see the positive side of the problem at the right time, and help her realize the beauty and happiness in life.

You can share some positive life experiences and stories with her to show her there's so much to be grateful for in everyday life. At the same time, encourage her to focus on her own growth and progress, rather than just complaining and feeling dissatisfied.

I know it can be tough, but I'm here to help you realize that you can gradually improve your living situation through your own efforts and dedication. It's so important to remember that you can't blame others or society for your struggles. You've got this!

If her situation is more serious, you can also suggest that she seek professional psychological counseling. This is a great option because a professional psychological counselor can help her gain a deeper understanding of her psychological state, find the root cause of the problem, and provide effective solutions.

Finally, it's important to remember that you can't solve all her problems for her, and you can't force her to change her thoughts and behavior.

You can support and understand her as much as you can, but it's also important to respect her choices and decisions.

In short, spending time with such a friend requires patience, understanding, and guidance. Through positive communication and a positive influence, you can try to help her adjust her mindset and see the beauty and happiness in life.

Wishing you all the best!

1. Hello, questioner. You have made an astute observation. It is understandable that you are perplexed by the apparent contradiction between the love and care that those around her receive and her continued expressions of discontent, poor interpersonal relationships, and unmet expectations.

This can make you feel somewhat conflicted. On the one hand, you feel that you are friends and you feel a sense of responsibility to help her see her own problems. On the other hand, because she can sometimes be quite negative, you also don't feel entirely happy being friends with her.

2. How should I get along with her? I believe the most important thing is to establish boundaries between us, so we know what is and isn't acceptable.

Ultimately, it is up to her to decide how she wants to feel. If she tends to focus on the negative and struggles to find happiness, it is not our place to take her place and feel happy for her.

As friends, our friendship is probably based on mutual attraction, or more bluntly, the value we can provide to each other. If she tends to take, perhaps without realizing it, and always pours out negative energy and makes us feel unhappy, it might be worth considering whether we should focus on our own feelings and fantasize about making her into the kind of friend we have in mind.

It's possible that she may not be able to meet your expectations.

3. Your friend's past experiences have shaped her into the person she is today. It's possible that people's thinking and behavior patterns are subject to inertia. In the past, her way of dealing with people and things may have brought her a lot of benefits, which is why she has continued to follow it until now.

As she ages and her circumstances change, it's possible that this pattern will continue to cause her frustration. It's always possible that she will encounter something or someone that will help her to realize her mistakes and make positive changes, but we can't know for sure.

As friends, we can only do our best to influence her with our own happiness and gratitude, or maintain a polite distance from her and wish her well as she grows.

Hello, question asker!

You asked how you can get along with a friend who always feels that others owe her. You said that your friend loves to complain, takes others' kindness for granted, and is ungrateful to her family and those around her. You want to get along with her better and help her see reality.

From your description, it's clear you value your friendship with her. You're a helpful and worthwhile person to be around. It would be a blessing to have a friend like you by my side. I don't know if you're currently studying abroad with her, but she should know how much you care about her.

We must first understand her mentality of "everyone else owes me."

Psychologists are certain that people with this "others owe me" mentality are egocentric.

These people are convinced that their interests should always come first, while the interests of others are secondary. They believe that they have done a great deal for others, but that others have not reciprocated accordingly, which leads to a sense of entitlement and a "others owe me" mentality.

Furthermore, these individuals frequently exhibit a strong desire for control and dominance. They strive to exert control over all aspects of their lives and those around them, which further reinforces their "others owe me" mentality.

You undoubtedly encountered this kind of confusion at some point during your time with her. The fact that you can come here for help shows that you are a very stable person who can remain calm and rational at all times, which is a great foundation for your friendly relationship.

Don't let disagreements get you down. Distract yourself with something fun, like watching a funny video, shopping, trying a new hobby, or doing something that makes you happy.

Have an open and honest chat with her when the time is right. Tell her what you see and what you want to see. As a friend, you have done your part. Maintain a certain psychological distance to protect your emotions and mental health.

I am confident that the above will be of assistance. Best regards!

Hello, I hope this message finds you well. I just wanted to send you a 360-degree hug.

From what I can gather from your description of the situation, you are a kind and thoughtful person. It seems like you are hoping that your friend will be able to recognize her own happiness and feel less sorry for herself.

It seems that she may not fully recognize the kindness of others. I believe this is something you and her parents have likely observed, and it's possible she's even been told about the challenges her family has faced. However, she may not be able to see or acknowledge these circumstances.

You have raised two questions. The second is how to help her recognize that she is already very happy. I believe that the most effective way to help her realize this is to support her in exploring her own perception of happiness.

It seems that she may be experiencing some unhappiness, and it's possible that she feels that others should provide for her and offer her a better life. It might be challenging to help her see this if she's not open to it.

It is likely that, unless she is placed in a highly challenging situation where even three meals a day become a significant issue, she will be able to recognize that she is genuinely content with her life.

There is a variety show called "Metamorphosis" that allows children from different families to experience living in each other's families, in the countryside or in the city. This can be an effective way for children to gain a deeper understanding of the lives of others and of their own lives.

It's important to remember that variety shows are just that — short-term experiences that may have a script. It's not realistic to expect that your friend would be able to fully grasp the concept of misfortune and happiness in a situation where she's facing poverty and struggling to afford basic necessities like three meals a day.

It might be challenging for you to help her recognize her own happiness. It's not your responsibility, but it's possible that her circumstances, family background, and upbringing might play a role.

However, if she is not open to change, it is not possible for you to force the issue.

Your first question is how you should get along with her. It is evident that you value this friendship.

If you get along, I would gently suggest that you consider rejecting the other person's complaints by yourself. You might even say, "I'm sorry, but I don't want to hear your complaints about this, even if you feel unhappy and think that others owe you."

Perhaps it would be helpful to focus on what you are willing to do, rather than letting the other person's dissatisfaction influence you. It's important to listen to your heart and do what feels right for you. While it's not your responsibility to change her feelings, you do have the power to choose how you respond. It might be beneficial to consider that your actions are not a sacrifice, but a choice.

I would gently suggest that perhaps it would be better for you to stay away from her, because no matter how strong your boundaries are and how mentally tough you are, her complaints will still have an effect on you to some extent. It might be worth considering whether you really want to be friends with someone who has this effect on you.

Ultimately, it is up to you to decide. However, it is important to learn to protect yourself, recognize your limits, and allow others to navigate their own challenges.

I consider myself to be a counselor with a realistic outlook, who is sometimes optimistic. I hope you will accept my support and encouragement.

I am

Hello, questioner. I'm sure

From your description, it seems that your friend may not fully recognize her blessings and tends to view others as indebted to her. I imagine that your interactions with her have not been entirely smooth. Despite her behavior, you continue to consider ways to support her. Your willingness to extend help is admirable, and many might admire your friend for having such a supportive friend.

After describing your friend's problems, you inquired about two things: 1) How should I get along with her? 2) How can I let her know that she is already very happy?

Now, with regard to the question you posed, I believe the key to getting along with your friend lies in understanding your own feelings.

Firstly, it's important to remember that the ungrateful and difficult person is still your friend, even though she is abroad. This means that you are in contact with her online most of the time. When she says or does something that makes you unhappy, you have the option of not responding or not contacting her for a short period of time.

Secondly, if you feel that you love your friend very much and that she might benefit from a different path, you can maintain a sense of boundaries while interacting with her. When you feel hurt, it might be helpful to speak your mind and express your grievances.

Once more, you inquire about the best way to let your friend know that she is very happy. To be frank, you would like to see her change, but people are complex beings. They will only truly alter their behavior when they have come to understand the need for it and are motivated to do so.

It is also worth noting that when people do not want to change but feel that someone else wants to change them, they may become very resistant. This can manifest as a refusal to change. This is a common state of human nature.

❣️Finally, if you find it challenging to let go of this friend, you can consider using love as a way to influence her. Accept her less positive qualities and kindly share your observations and thoughts with her.

If you find yourself feeling uncomfortable or even drained in your interactions with her, it might be helpful to either distance yourself from this friend or seek the support of a professional who can help you navigate your emotions.

I hope you can find a way to get along with this friend that suits you, and I also hope your friend can be convinced.

I would like to extend my love and best wishes to you and the world! ?

Hello! I can tell from your question, "How do I get along with a friend who always feels that everyone owes her something?" that you are a person who values friendship and is willing to help others. That's great! However, getting along with such a friend can be challenging. Don't worry, though. The following methods may give you some ideas:

1. Listen and understand!

Listen to her feelings and complaints, and really try to understand her point of view. People often complain because they feel dissatisfied or unfairly treated, so it's important to really try to understand why.

By listening, you can gain incredible insight into her emotions and needs!

2. Remind her to cherish!

At the right time, gently remind her of her good fortune and her parents' sacrifices. For example, you could share some experiences of gratitude or mention the difficult situation of some of your mutual friends or classmates to help her better recognize her own happiness.

3. Share your views!

Be sure to share your views and experiences with her when the time is right! For example, you could share your views on gratitude and happiness to enlighten her.

Just be careful not to be too accusatory or critical, but to express it in a sharing way!

4. Cultivate a grateful attitude!

I'd highly recommend that she try activities that cultivate an attitude of gratitude, such as writing thank-you letters, keeping a daily gratitude journal, or volunteering. These activities are a great way to help her focus more on what she has rather than what she doesn't have!

5. Encourage her to grow!

Be her cheerleader as she discovers her strengths and interests and encourages her to pursue personal growth and development. Help her realize that success and happiness are not just about material things, but also about personal growth and inner contentment.

Everyone has different life experiences and perspectives, and changing someone's mindset is an exciting journey that takes time and personal willingness. If she is not willing to change her way of thinking, you also get to consider whether you are willing to continue to get along with such a friend.

Sometimes, it may be better to maintain healthy boundaries. After all, you can't wake someone up who's pretending to sleep – but you can set yourself up for success by doing so!

I really hope you and your friend can establish a healthier relationship!

The world and I love you! ??HAPPY BIRTHDAY!??

Hello, question asker. From what you've said, it seems like you're a warmhearted person.

You're too focused on other people. You may care more about your friends, and you don't have much time for yourself, nor do you pay attention to your emotions.

I don't think you can be the ultimate solution for everyone. Let people work through their own issues and be themselves. Don't impose your ideas on others.

And don't let other people's opinions influence you too much. I think it's easier to get along with people this way.

You can set aside more time for yourself and become aware of your emotions in time. It might be a good idea to set aside more time for yourself.

Take a moment to think about why you want to solve other people's problems. How did this desire come about?

What can you do for someone else, or what can you change about their situation? If you can't change it, just be yourself. When a colleague comes to you with a problem, offer your support.

When good friends get together, they can support each other and let the other person make their own decisions. You've put yourself in a good position.

I think you two might get along a little better and happier. I'm not sure if this helps, but thought I'd share it.

Hi there,

I'm Kelly Shui.

[My friend always feels like everyone owes her. How can she get along with others?]

After reading the question, I can tell you care about your friend. I also get the sense you have some thoughts of your own about your friend's state and emotions.

[About friendship]

My friend's parents gave her a lot of financial support to send her abroad, but she doesn't seem to appreciate it. She still spends a lot of money on them each month, as if she thinks they deserve it.

From my perspective, this is how he relates to his parents. As friends, we don't fully grasp her dynamic with her parents either. The way many children interact with their parents is influenced by what they learn from them.

I have a friend from a well-off family whose parents are very controlling. When he went abroad, he felt like he could finally breathe easy.

His parents provided for his material needs, but they rarely cared about his inner needs, and he was in constant pain and conflict at home.

When he went abroad, he kept telling me that he didn't miss his parents.

After he shared his thoughts, I didn't say much, but I empathized with him and respected his current perspective.

We're all influenced by our families and society. Personal growth doesn't happen overnight. It comes from self-growth, self-education, and enlightenment through many things.

If your friend trusts you and is willing to share her life story with you, you can support her and affirm her more, which will help her learn a lot from you.

We're in control of how we treat our friends and get along with them.

If spending time together is affecting your emotions, you can remind yourself to maintain boundaries. Friends can help each other and also choose each other. There are lots of ways to understand this person.

Ultimately, you can decide whether to continue the relationship or how often you want to see each other based on your own situation.

It doesn't matter how close you are, you still need to set some boundaries. This applies to family members, friends and even future romantic partners. You can give up a part of yourself.

[Show the right amount of concern]

Your friend is capable of going to a famous law firm, but she's not happy with her salary after just starting. She's close to you and tells you that she's underpaid, that she works very hard, and that she feels her colleagues are excluding her.

Maybe she doesn't see herself in this situation. As a friend, you can help her see the part of her that doesn't trust people. You can try to understand her emotions, the difficulties and pressures she faces just starting at a new company, and let her process them on her own.

We can also ask ourselves why we're willing to be friends with her.

What are her strengths?

What are the qualities that attract you to be friends with her so that you can be her mirror and help her see herself from a different perspective?

You can also encourage your best friend to seek professional help to explore themselves, identify obstacles to growth, and leverage their strengths.

We just need to respect and appreciate each other, and try to put ourselves in her shoes and understand her feelings, as well as our own.

If you were in her shoes, what would you do?

You can be open with her about your feelings so that she feels understood and cared for, and you can build a strong relationship.

You can also be open with her about the things you don't like. A good friendship is also about growing together. We support each other in the relationship, grow together, and see that both ourselves and the other person become better and better. We also appreciate the value and meaning of friendship.

I appreciate you, and I recognize that we're all just ordinary people with ordinary joys and sorrows, ordinary troubles, shortcomings, and strengths.

We all lead our own lives, and our happiness affects our friends.

Best wishes!

As they say, life affects life.

I'd suggest checking out "Self-Boundaries," "Personal Development Theory," and "A World Worth Living."

Hello, questioner! I can see the confusion you are facing now, and I give you a big, warm hug!

You say, "You want to change your friend and want to know what you have to do to let her know that she is already very happy."

But here's the thing: you want to change your friend, but is that what she wants?

But if it's not what she wants, then it'll be like you're throwing your energy into the wind! So, let's make sure she wants to change first.

But here's the thing: it is difficult for us to change ourselves, let alone others like your friend.

It's also possible that your friend is aware of her own problems but has blinded herself to them.

Absolutely! If your friend herself wants to change and asks for help, that's a whole other ballgame.

At this point, you can wholeheartedly suggest that she seek professional psychological counseling.

If your friend confides in you, then you have a great opportunity to be there for her! Just listen and be supportive. Don't judge or criticize her actions.

Every family has its own unique set of challenges, and that's what makes life so fascinating! It's not always easy to be an objective friend, but it's so important to try.

And here's another thing you can try: Every time you spend time with this friend, think about how she makes you feel.

I really hope you feel:

1.) Nourish each other in the friendship!

2.) There is a lot of internal conflict, which is totally normal!

If you feel that the latter is more draining, then you can choose to keep some distance from her.

The most important thing about getting along with friends is that we all feel comfortable! It's so important to feel like you can be yourself around them and not feel like a nuisance.

I'm really hopeful that you'll find an effective solution to the problem you're facing soon!

I've got nothing more to say!

I really hope my answer is helpful and inspiring to you! I am the answer, and I study hard every day!

Here at Yixinli, the world and I love you! Best wishes!

Yes!

I imagine it must be quite challenging to spend time with such a friend, and there may be some discomfort involved. However, you can still kindly insist on accompanying her and look forward to making her happy. This is really touching.

It seems that some friends may have a tendency to expect a certain level of reciprocity from others, and they may not always feel fully satisfied. It's not always clear whether they are truly grateful, and it's possible that they may sometimes feel uneasy or afraid when they experience these strong emotions. They may sometimes preemptively "blame" others, as if in this seemingly "strong" posture they can protect their own vulnerable hearts. It's possible that this kind of behavior may potentially lead her to encounter some difficulties and "moral" pressures in her life and work.

Although I don't know what she has been through, I believe that having a warm companion like you by her side is like a ray of light to her. It may be difficult for us to directly give her happiness, but I believe that there will be a lot of comfort and warmth. Perhaps she will grow in a new way through this friendship.

It is not uncommon for people in a negative mood to become more defensive and perceive danger more generally. Your friend seems to feel hostility from the world around her. At this time, it would be helpful to first acknowledge her unease and fear, as well as the anger she is using to protect herself. It would also be beneficial to remind her of these emotions and provide a supportive hug. Secondly, it would be valuable to gently discuss our real feelings and understanding of the situation. It is important to remember not to deny or argue, even if the other person doesn't seem to agree. By doing so, we can help her see that there is a different perspective to consider.

Hello. I'm curious about what influence your friend has on you. If you don't like it, you can choose to leave and make new friends.

It's clear you're influenced, and you hope you can influence her and change her. Is it similar to other relationships in your life?

Have you ever had the experience of liking some parts of yourself but not others? I have, and I think it's something a lot of people can relate to.

Do I often feel this way about my eldest daughter? I'd really like to understand why she is the way she is.

Why is she so petty? Why does she care about every little thing?

I'm full of confusion, frustration, and annoyance. I really want to change her through my efforts, reason with her, and try to understand her.

But it seems to be useless. I was once in great pain, too. How do you teach a child like that?

How can I influence her? I hope she's good, meets my expectations, and meets the expectations of the public.

She's just who she is, and she's not subject to my will. She'll only live her own life. She wants to grow and change, but that can only happen when she wants it herself.

I also have some difficult aspects of myself that I'd rather not face, so I try to change her to make myself feel better. It's not the right approach.

When I realize it, I also laugh at myself, let the child go, and let myself go! We get along with her, and she has other parts besides this part. Maybe if we don't focus on this part, we won't feel bad.

Perhaps it would be more productive to redirect our attention to ourselves and focus on our own experiences. We should respect that she has her own identity and we have ours.

Dear respondent, Given that your inquiry concluded with the question "How should I get along with her?," it appears that you harbor complex sentiments toward her that you have not yet articulated.

I was incorrect in my assumption, but I was unable to discern your response in person.

One might inquire whether her behavior is motivated by jealousy or a sense of entitlement. Is she driven by a desire to appear superior to those who are unable to pursue work or studies abroad?

It is noteworthy that even many children are reluctant to make demands of their parents. This raises the question of how she, your friend, can act in such an entitled manner. It is evident that you feel that, as a child, you should not have behaved in the same way as her. However, at the same time, you wish you had received the same level of support from your parents.

Regardless of your personal sentiments, I urge you to express your desires with fortitude, pursue them with determination, and assert your right to possess them.

As many respondents have stated, it is only appropriate to accept her actions and refrain from judging her.

Should your friend one day confide in you regarding her distress, it is likely that the cause can be found in her family of origin. It is a fallacy to assume that an individual's thoughts and actions are innate; rather, they are the product of environmental influences, unless the individual in question begins to awaken to themselves.

It is plausible that when she was a child, her parents may have had an obligation to her that caused them to continually compensate for it. It is also conceivable that her parents lacked comprehension and failed to fulfill one of her requirements, compelling her to address it in alternative ways.

If this information is beneficial, I am gratified to have been of assistance.

Hello. It seems you have a tough problem. I hope I can help.

I understand how you feel. It's hard to get along with such a friend. You hope she'll appreciate her happiness, but she feels she deserves more.

From a psychological point of view, she may be self-centered and lack gratitude. People like this often have difficulty realizing their own good fortune because they focus on their shortcomings.

Don't be discouraged! It's not easy to change someone's personality, but we can start with small things and help her realize her own luck and happiness.

If she complains about her salary and work, remind her of the growth and rewards. If she feels others owe her, try to make her think from other people's perspective.

You can also share some popular science articles or books with her. This will help her understand her problems from a scientific point of view.

You can also share your or others' experiences to show her that everyone has problems. She may then value her life more.

Finally, look at her behavior from a new point of view.

You could think that she feels others owe her because she wants attention. Then, you could give her more positive feedback and encouragement.

It takes skill and patience to change a friend like this. But if you try, she will change.

Everyone can become a better version of themselves.

Hello, question asker! I'm Fairy, and I don't drink. I'm honored to be able to answer your questions.

Some people say that life is one long journey of overcoming one challenge after another.

You always think the present is the hardest, but if you think about it, in your life

You've already overcome countless times when you felt like you couldn't get over a hurdle. Action is the best way to overcome confusion, so let's get moving and take on the challenge of our confusion!

Give your friend a hug and remember that you might feel confused and frustrated when dealing with someone like her.

It seems like she's not aware of her situation or grateful for the support of others.

I hope this helps you get along with her and maybe even helps her realize how lucky she is.

First, try to understand her feelings and point of view. Sometimes people act ungratefully or selfishly because they're under a lot of pressure or anxious.

Listening is a great way to understand why someone is acting the way they are.

When the time is right, you can try to give her feedback in a non-accusatory way. For example, when she complains, you can gently remind her that not everyone has the same opportunities she does, or point out some positive aspects she has.

Show gratitude and contentment through your own actions. When you express your appreciation for the good things in your life, it may inspire her to do the same.

Sharing stories of how you or others have struggled through difficult times might help her realize how fortunate she is.

If her behavior is starting to affect you, you need to set some boundaries. This might mean distancing yourself in certain situations to protect your emotional well-being.

If she volunteers or takes part in charity work, it can help her see how lucky she is compared to others and encourage her to be grateful.

If you're close enough, you might want to talk to her about this. Let her know what you're concerned about and that you hope she'll appreciate what she has more.

It's also important to remember that everyone has their own values and way of life. You can try to help as much as you can, but she may need to decide for herself to change her attitude.

Keep in mind that, even though you can do your best to help and influence your friend,

At the end of the day, though, it's up to her to change her attitude and behavior.

Also, don't forget to take care of your own emotional needs while you're trying to help her.

I just wanted to say that I love you and I hope my reply can really help you.