Friends always try to please me, but I don't want to interact with her, and I'm too embarrassed to say so.

Hello!

It sounds like you're facing some boundary issues with this friend, just as there are boundaries between countries. We can divide the boundaries between people into several types: geographical boundaries, physical boundaries, and psychological boundaries.

It's pretty easy to understand geographical boundaries. We all have our homes, and we all like to keep them to ourselves!

You have your desk, I have mine, and we wouldn't want to move things on your desk or open your drawers, would we?

Physical boundaries are also easy to understand. We can divide relationships into public, social, personal, and intimate relationships, depending on how close they are.

They're getting closer and closer, and it's so lovely to see! But we mustn't confuse these things.

I think the hardest thing to grasp is the psychological boundary. Why do I say that?

It's so important to be aware that we might not know everything about someone else, like their personal beliefs, family background or experiences. It's easy to accidentally cross the line in our interactions with them if we don't have this understanding.

I truly believe that psychological boundaries are explored during actual interactions. Of course, we have to be careful, and when we don't know each other, it's always a good idea to keep our words and actions on a small scale. That way, we can gradually deepen the relationship and then gradually increase the degree of words and actions.

If you've built a strong relationship, it'll be able to weather any storm. It'll be there for you when things get tough, and it'll help you get through them together.

Let's circle back to your story. Your friend is a lovely person, and she may not have the clearest boundaries. It's understandable that she sometimes offends you. If you can't protect your boundaries, you might find yourself in a tricky situation where your power is undermined and your bottom line is breached.

It's totally normal to feel like your territory is shrinking, trapped, and without freedom. What can you do?

Based on our chat about boundaries, I think you've got a good grasp on geographical and physical boundaries. You can definitely clarify your psychological boundaries right away so that the other person knows what's off-limits.

It's so important to be gentle when setting boundaries. It's natural to want to avoid hurting someone's feelings, but a flat refusal can sometimes make things worse. Try to find a way to communicate your needs in a way that's respectful and understanding.

I really hope you have a lovely, refreshing life with boundaries!

Dear Sir/Madam,

From your description, this situation may be one of the common life phenomena. In interpersonal relationships, there is a term called "sense of boundaries." The so-called sense of boundaries is, in layman's terms, feeling that the other person has invaded your territory, bottom line, etc.

It is essential to establish clear boundaries in all aspects of life, including friendship, family, and romantic relationships. The questioner expressed difficulty in navigating interpersonal dynamics, which indicates a lack of understanding about personal boundaries. This often leads to discomfort and challenges in maintaining healthy relationships.

How to Handle Boundary Issues:

[1] Clearly communicate your expectations. For instance, the original poster can inform the other person when they are doing something for them: "Thank you, I can do it myself."

It may be helpful to ascertain whether the other person has different feelings for you, such as same-sex love. Further observation may be beneficial in this regard. Should there be a tendency in this direction that is not desired, it may be possible to decline the situation.

[2] It is crucial to understand your limits. Without this understanding, it is difficult to establish reasonable boundaries in professional interactions.

As an illustration, one can observe how one tolerates discomfort and stress in response to a given situation. Similarly, if another party engages in certain behaviors on one's behalf, one can assertively decline such actions to ascertain one's personal boundaries.

[3] Enhance self-awareness. Identify your preferences and dislikes, adopt an objective perspective, and evaluate your personal attributes from the viewpoint of others.

For instance, you should observe and analyze your own mental activities, behaviors, emotions, and their results. You should also understand yourself through the attitudes of others, through others as a mirror, and understand yourself through the results of your own activities. Additionally, you should understand your own abilities, strengths, and weaknesses. You should set goals according to your own situation, clarify what kind of person you should become, and firmly believe in becoming that kind of person.

I hope the above provides the information the questioner was seeking.