Gaokao, girls, how should parents handle this period?

The college entrance exam is in ten days. Your child is nervous. You are too.

You seem anxious when your child confesses. You rejected the idea of "failing the exam" and demanded that you and your child only see the possibility of "definitely passing the exam."

Why did she ask if she fails, will she go to a junior college or repeat the year?

She may just want support, affirmation, and acceptance from her parents.

She wants to be sure of:

"I'm worried and scared. If I don't do well on the exam, will my parents accept it?"

"I hope my parents will always love and support me."

"I hope my parents will be relaxed so I won't worry about the exam."

You don't have to do anything. Your calmness will ease your daughter's anxiety.

In the last few days, your daughter needs to focus on the exam.

Tell her:

"I believe in you."

"No matter what the results are, we love and support you."

"If you need us, just let us know. We're here for you."

I hope this helps.

Hello, questioner!

It's tough for high school students to take the exam, and it's tough for parents, too! I once read a report that said experts from the Institute of Psychology of the Chinese Academy of Sciences had followed 200 top scorers in the national college entrance exam for four years. The results showed that, of the 20 factors affecting success in the exam, the candidate's mindset during the exam ranked first, and the candidate's psychological state before the exam ranked second; factors such as learning methods and learning foundation came next.

It's important to remember that the examinee's psychological state is very delicate, and parents are often unsure of the best way to support them. In fact, the attitude parents show towards the college entrance examination will directly affect their children's attitude.

From what you've said, I can tell you're a thoughtful and wise parent. You're helping your child understand the current situation and what it might look like in the future. You're also trying to help her relax and deal with the exam in a calm way. You've said all of this very well, and your child will definitely hear your thoughts. However, she is indeed very anxious and worried at the moment. By saying this, she is actually trying to tell her parents what's on her mind: fear of not doing well in the exam, uncertainty about the future, and some children may even feel that if they do not do well in the exam, they will disappoint their parents.

If we parents can see our child is feeling uncertain and worried and pick up on those anxious feelings, our child will feel more relaxed and feel understood. If we parents also offer reassurance and encouragement, our child will feel that we're sharing and accepting her worries, and she'll feel much more relaxed!

It's also important to understand how your child is feeling. During this time, parents can provide the right kind of support to help their children manage their stress.

Use the right approach to help your child step away from books, let go of exam pressure, and have the chance to spend time with you. For instance, you could suggest a walk together or come up with another idea to get them talking.

It's a good idea to get your child to work up a little sweat so that their muscles get tired and their mind relaxes. During a walk or playing sports such as ball games, children are more likely to open up and talk about exams and studies. This is a great chance for parents to encourage and comfort them.

When your child opens up, it's your chance to guide them with positive language. For example, if you see that your child's score is 20 points higher than the second-tier university line in two mock exams, you can say, "This shows that you have the strength to successfully get into a second-tier university, so keep up the good work!"

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Avoid saying certain things before the exam, such as "Don't be nervous," "Do your best," "You have to do well for your parents," "Look at how hard someone else is studying," or "The college entrance exam will determine your whole life's prospects."

It's important for the child to be calm during the exam, so it's also important for parents to stay calm. During the exam period, try not to ask the child too many questions, but "pretend" to be unconcerned about the exam. When you eat with your child, don't ask them how they feel, unless they say so themselves, at which point you can encourage and comfort them.

I came across some "do and don'ts" for parents of high school seniors online and thought I'd share them with you.

The candidate doesn't say, the parents don't ask. The candidate is frustrated, the parents are tolerant. The candidate cries, the parents comfort. The candidate laughs, the parents smile.

I hope you find this information useful, and I wish you and your child the best of luck!