Have you always felt like a dummy from childhood to adulthood?

Hello, question asker!

You brought up a lot of memories from your childhood that made you feel like a fool. I can see why they would be pretty intense from an outsider's perspective, but at the same time, I feel really sorry for you. From your story, I can tell that you're a kind person who chose to put up with the teasing and bullying from others.

Kindness is a wonderful quality! But remember, you can only gain the respect of others by bravely refusing and expressing your attitude.

From what you've told me, it seems like you were afraid of your classmates as a child and didn't know how to stand up for yourself when you were wronged. I can understand why you might have chosen to endure because you were afraid of the insecurity that conflict brings. I don't know how your relationship with your parents is like, but I'm here to help if you'd like to talk more.

When I was young, I probably had a personality quite similar to yours. I didn't know how to respond to other people's excessive behavior, and I couldn't ask my family for help because I was living with my grandparents, who would probably advise me to stay away from those people. Over time, this shaped our character, so that we don't know how to respond appropriately in the face of conflict, and we even compromise. I totally get it!

I'm so sorry, I didn't see your question, so I don't know what kind of problem you want to solve by expressing these.

Recalling the past can be really helpful for understanding some of our fixed patterns of behavior. This way, we can take a good look at our perceptions and thinking within these patterns, identify problems, and work on improving. From what you've shared in the past, it seems like you might benefit from understanding what your deep-seated insecurity is.

It's so important to know the right way to respond when someone crosses our boundaries. We can choose to discuss the matter with them, and if we need to, we can even learn to leverage others and ask for help. It's so important to remember that prolonged tolerance will turn negative energy back on ourselves. This isn't good for our physical or mental health, and it's not helpful for our long-term development.

I really think you should read and study the book Parenting Our Inner Child. It'll help you learn to improve your awareness, which will help you develop yourself better.

I'm a big softie, and I love the world and all of you! Thanks for reading!

It feels really bad to be constantly bullied. They're all laughing at me, but I'm going to prove them wrong!

You are so angry!

You have so much inside you that you're dissatisfied and grieving over, so I'm going to give you a big, warm hug! You've really come a long way, and I'm so proud of you!

While you were telling your story, there were times when you laughed with them. It's so important to be able to laugh at yourself! It's a sign of self-confidence. Don't care what other people think, you can even make fun of yourself!

Do you remember Xu Zhisheng from the talk show conference? He was also ridiculed for being ugly before, but he said that he won just by his looks. Everyone wanted to laugh when he stood there, and he also made many people like him with his humor.

Some people did receive a lot of unkind treatment as children. But they survived! And they became stronger for it. Some people became hostile towards the world. But they found ways to turn that around. They became kinder and gentler towards others because they wanted to stop the violence from their side.

I don't know which kind of person you want to be, but I know you can be ANY kind of person you want to be!

You don't have to forgive them, but you absolutely have to forgive yourself! You have survived, and you are already great!

You can become a better version of yourself! You will find that the circle of "bad people" is getting further and further away from you.

When you are weak, there are a lot of bad people around you. But when you are strong, you will find that there are a lot of kind people around you! So make yourself strong inside and strengthen your abilities!

Hello! I'm a mental health counselor, and I'm here to help.

I just wanted to say that I've read your account very carefully.

From reading your story, I can tell you've been through a lot. It seems like you've felt like an idiot since you were a kid.

Let's start from when I was a child. When I was young, I was bullied by the boy sitting in front of me in class. He wouldn't give me back my eraser, and when I bought two pieces of chalk, he took both. I asked him if they were his, and he said yes. I didn't say anything, I was so afraid of him. After he came to our class in the third grade, I was never happy again. I was completely inactive. It wasn't until the fifth grade that I mustered the courage to challenge him. I deliberately stepped on his shoes from behind, twice. In the end, he punched me in the eye. I wanted to fight back, but the teacher came. I couldn't see him because I really felt like I was blind!

And then, I graduated!

In junior high school, I was the only one from the countryside, and I was very self-conscious. I didn't get along with the girl sitting next to me, and in the end, she said in front of the whole class that I was the ugliest in the class. I was so sad that I almost cried. After that, I played around with the girl sitting next to me, and he even drew my head on a piece of paper and showed it to his classmates. I was still laughing with him at the time, hahahaha, but it was a bit mean. When everyone drew me together, I was very sad, including my cousin, who was in the same class as me at the time. After that, I was depressed.

Then a girl stole my money, and my phone was stolen by another woman who was just really, really unpleasant. I found it, but she just said it was hers. I was so panicked and couldn't get it back. I wanted her to give it back, but in the end she never did.

You mentioned all these things in your narrative, and I can only imagine how painful they must have been for you at the time.

While these things were really tough for you, they also taught you a lot about protecting yourself. What did you learn from these experiences?

If you could go back to those moments, what would you do to protect yourself?

We're so happy you found this content helpful! Please don't hesitate to leave a message if you have any questions.

Hello, question asker!

I'll give you a hug from afar. First of all, I'll give you an opinion: it's not your fault that others bully you. However, you're wrong to punish yourself for other people's faults.

When you were younger, the boy in front of you used to bully you. He took your eraser. You tried to express your wishes, but he said, "Yes, it's mine." You didn't say anything, you were afraid of him.

"You were intimidated by the bossy student sitting in front of you. If you had expressed yourself differently, for example, by saying out loud, "This is my eraser, why are you taking mine?

"Do you know what kind of behavior you're exhibiting?" You hold your ground, tell others, "This is my limit."

No one will dare bully you. Just remember, if someone violates your dignity, you have to defend it without hesitation and stand up for yourself.

You can't go back and do something like, "I mustered the courage to challenge him, and I deliberately stepped on his shoes from behind twice. In the end, he punched me in the eye, and I wanted to fight back, but the teacher came, and I couldn't see him because I really felt like I was blind!" This incident will definitely be forgotten, and you provoked the other person in the first place.

Things didn't go as you expected. It's great that you have courage, but you need to find the right moment to stand up for yourself when someone is infringing on you.

When I got to junior high school, I felt inferior because I was from the countryside. If you look down on yourself and feel inferior, it can create a negative feedback loop where you start to feel that others see you that way too.

So they all felt that you could be bullied, and that's what happened in junior high school. "I was very inferior as a rural person on my own, and I got along badly with my female classmate at the same table. In the end, he said in front of the whole class that I was the ugliest in the class. I was so sad that I almost cried. After that, I played around with my classmate at the front table, and he even drew my head on a piece of paper and showed it to his classmates. I was still laughing with him at the time, hahahaha. It was heartless, but when everyone drew me together, I was very sad, including my cousin, who was in the same class as me at the time.

"When you act confidently, you are bright and handsome. This is what the Buddhist saying "appearance follows the heart" is all about."

Stay strong and focus on your studies. If you run into problems, you can always ask your teachers or parents for help. If you feel like they can't help, you can talk to us and ask for assistance. We're here to help and provide positive and effective social support.

You can learn from our experience and gradually build your own social support system so that you can handle tricky situations with the help of your social support system and your changed perception. For instance, if your money and mobile phone are stolen, you can immediately tell your teacher and choose to report it to the police.

There's no need to panic. The phone you used was either stolen by someone else or it belonged to him. If you learn to deal with such incidents, will you still panic?

It's normal to feel depressed when you're treated unfairly. From what you said later, it seems like you've rationalized the situation and let yourself accept it, which is a good thing.

All you need to do is get a good understanding of the situation, set clear boundaries for yourself, build a positive and effective social support system, study hard, and gradually improve your personality. Overcoming the inferiority complex of adolescence is also key. With these steps, your future is bright.

I wish you all the best and hope you find happiness and joy in your studies! Keep up the good work and make progress!

I'm Chu Mingdeng, and I just wanted to say that I love you all, the world over.

Hello, my name is Flower.

? (Quote the original words of the questioner) ? (Discuss step by step) ? (Key to the problem) ? (New ideas/approaches) ? (Examples) ? (The world and I love you)

After reading the original poster's words, I feel a great deal of sympathy for her. Perhaps we could offer her a hug?

I believe these incidents were not caused by any lack of intelligence on our part, but rather by the fact that we were bullying others. I can see that there is an element of injustice in the questioner's heart. I am unsure of the questioner's age, but I think it is worth trying to heal ourselves.

I thought it might be helpful to try to sort out those emotions from so many incidents.

? Classmate's compulsory taking of erasers without returning them → fear

? Gave it my all to challenge my classmate, but unfortunately, the outcome was not in my favor. I felt a sense of injustice and disappointment.

In junior high school, I sometimes felt a bit out of place being the only one from the countryside.

? Bullied by classmates → sad and even depressed

In light of these emotions, we might consider some potential actions:

Could I perhaps inquire as to why we experience these emotions?

I was reminded of Ellis's ABC theory of emotions. This theory suggests that an activating event (A) may indirectly contribute to emotional and behavioral outcomes (C), while the direct cause of C could be the belief (B) formed by an individual's perception and evaluation of the activating event (A).

Our perception of an event can affect our emotions and the outcome. For example, if your classmate doesn't return the eraser you lent them, some people may feel upset and think, "How could you do that, not returning something you borrowed?" However, it doesn't necessarily lead to fear. Perhaps you could try to look at those things again and understand the trivial matters afresh, which may help you feel calmer.

From the time he entered third grade, I have found it challenging to maintain a positive outlook. I was initially reluctant to engage with him, but in fifth grade, I mustered the courage to challenge him. In the heat of the moment, I accidentally stepped on his shoes from behind twice, which led to a physical altercation. I was tempted to retaliate, but the teacher intervened, and I was unable to see him clearly.

It may be helpful to treat people according to their disposition, and to try to overcome hardness with softness.

If the person sitting next to you is used to solving problems with violence, it would be inadvisable to adopt a similarly aggressive approach. As can be seen from the challenge, the questioner is still very courageous.

However, this challenge may require a little finesse. It's possible that provoking the other person might not be the best approach, as it could potentially lead to negative consequences. Interpersonal interactions require constant learning; it's something we all have to work on.

I would like to suggest the book Psychology of Interpersonal Relations as a helpful resource.

It might be helpful to make a list of your strengths and work on building your inner confidence.

Everyone has their own strengths. From the few examples you have given, I can see that you have a high degree of patience, courage, and the ability to laugh at yourself. You are also highly aware of your own feelings. In addition to your character strengths, you might also consider identifying your strengths in terms of your studies, interests, and personal abilities.

Take a moment to write down all of these strengths. Once you've finished, take a moment to praise yourself. You are amazing! Use these strengths to fight against that inferiority complex.

And, you know, a hero doesn't necessarily have to come from a famous family. Being from the countryside can show that we are hardworking and motivated. It's okay to build up your confidence slowly and then go for it!

It might be helpful to learn to ask for help.

Depressive emotions can often affect us internally. When we feel unhappy or bullied, it might be helpful to seek support from others.

As an example, if you would like to, you can ask your question on the platform. You are also welcome to speak with your teachers or parents about how you are feeling. They can offer guidance on how to navigate these interpersonal relationships.

It is perfectly acceptable to ask for help. You do not have to bear all the emotions. Why not give it a try?

It is my sincere hope that the above sharing will prove helpful to the questioner, and I wish them well.

Hello, my dear friend. I'm so sorry to hear you've been through so much pain and distress. It's clear you've been struggling alone for many years, and I can only imagine how difficult it's been for you.

Before we get into the nitty-gritty, if you're up for it, I'd love to give you a big hug! I'm here to support you and give you a bit of warmth.

From your description, I can see that you've been through a lot. From being bullied by the person sitting in front of you when you were little, to not getting along with the girl sitting next to you in junior high school and being told in front of the whole class that you were the ugliest in the class, to later having money stolen by a girl and having your phone stolen by another really disgusting girl. It's so sad to hear how you've always adopted an attitude of "bearing it." I admire you for mustering the courage to challenge him in fifth grade. I know it was difficult, but you deliberately stepped on his shoes from behind twice and finally he punched you in the eye. I'm so proud of you for wanting to fight back, even though the teacher came. It's so hard to endure pain, but you did it. I'm here for you, and I'm here to support you in standing up for yourself.

All of this has shown me that you're such a kind person! I don't know if you've ever thought about showing that same kindness to yourself first.

I'm not sure if you've ever asked your teachers or parents for help when you've had these unfair experiences, or if you've ever thought about protecting yourself through the school's management points. I can imagine that after so many years of upsetting experiences, you've probably realized that giving in without thinking won't help you gain respect from others. It might even make the people who are treating you badly more aggressive, which won't help anyone.

It might be time to find new ways to earn the respect you deserve.

If you'd like, you might want to chat with the school counselor, your parents, or a close friend you trust. They might be able to teach you some effective ways to protect yourself, so that you can help yourself not to be bullied in the future.

I just wanted to share my personal views with you, in case they help. Take care of yourself, sweetie!