He now has a terrible attitude, getting angry over trivial matters, what should I do with such a hard life?

Hello! First, I'll give you a big, warm hug from afar!

Your words bring to life a heart brimming with grievances, helplessness, and a longing to be understood, supported, and cared for.

It's clear from your description that your husband's short temper has been there since you met. You chose to accept him because you knew he loved you, cared about you, and cared about your relationship. You gave him love and support, and you both had confidence.

However, with the arrival of children after marriage, the two of you have the incredible opportunity to learn and grow in ways you never imagined! While it can be challenging when you don't get the support you need from your family, it's also a chance to build your inner strength and resilience. When you're the one taking care of the kids every day on your commute to and from work, it can feel like you're running on empty. But, it's also a chance to show your amazing capacity to juggle multiple responsibilities. Especially when your husband might not be as involved as you'd like, it's a chance to step up and show him what you're capable of. And, when you work hard for the kids and the family, it's a chance to receive his appreciation and understanding. It's a chance to feel loved and supported in ways you never imagined!

Allowing and accepting all those uncomfortable emotional feelings in your heart right now is a great idea! And then, try recording all those emotional feelings in your heart in writing from the time you fell in love to the time you got married. This will help you to better perceive, experience, feel, and sort out these uncomfortable emotions in yourself, explore the hidden needs behind these emotions, and thus seek a more appropriate way to respond to this part of your needs.

For example, when your husband loses his temper with you, seize the opportunity to tell him your true feelings and needs! This will help him realize that his behavior and attitude have deeply hurt you and that you cannot be treated like this. You can also try writing him a love letter to convey your true emotional feelings and needs through words. A love letter can be divided into five parts: anger, sadness, fear, remorse, and love. This is also a way for you to better sort out your inner emotional feelings and have a dialogue with your inner self.

I really hope that my sharing can give you some support and help!

Please extend support to the questioner from a distance.

The questioner's description:

The individual in question is 25 years of age, has been married for two years, met at work, got married and had a child, settled in Changsha, works hard every day, comes home and takes care of the child. It is recommended that tolerance should change slowly, as the temper gets worse after marriage. It is advised that the marriage should not be given up easily.

To the questioner:

I have been informed that domestic violence is a zero-sum game with countless rounds. Your husband's behavior towards you began even before marriage, but I am unaware of the reason behind your decision to remain in the relationship.

Many housewife victims tend to adopt a tolerant attitude and communicate at a slow pace with their husbands, believing that their gentle approach can facilitate change. However, your gentleness and kindness have inadvertently led to increased irritability and mistreatment.

This is a highly detrimental situation for the family unit, for the individual, and for the children. Without a supportive and stable family environment, without a place where you can live in peace, it will be particularly challenging for you and for the children's development.

It is inadvisable to terminate a marriage without careful consideration. There is a strong correlation between the individual and the marriage. While one may choose to end the marriage, it is important to note that this does not automatically imply the dissolution of the relationship.

With regard to the matter of children born of the marriage, it is worth noting that the children will not be significantly affected by the marital status of their parents if the parents are able to negotiate a mutually acceptable arrangement. However, if the children are exposed to a consistently violent and unwelcoming environment, they may also become violent and unwelcoming, introverted, and may develop psychological issues such as depression. This is a crucial aspect to consider.