High school student, unable to control my emotions, don't know what I did wrong?

If you're emotionally volatile and irritable, yelling may affect the harmony in your family. This is a good time to think about your inner growth. Do you want to make some changes for the sake of the family? Do you want to become a better person?

As a high school student, you're going through a lot emotionally. It's normal to feel this way. It's like your emotions are an elephant; you can only wander among them, not knowing what the road ahead is.

Arguing might not improve your relationship or solve problems. Usually, when you yell, it's because you're angry and you don't know what you've done wrong, but others will be able to point out the clues. So at this time, can you write down those clues?

These clues are shaping your current thoughts, and they're also key to your future ability to adapt. Your family is going through major changes, so it's best to allow yourself to make appropriate adjustments and seek the necessary psychological counseling if you can.

If you want to make changes, it's a good idea to talk to the school's psychological counselor regularly. Some things at your age are best left unsaid, and you need to let yourself talk. You can also choose to talk in the platform's chat room or find an outlet to talk and vent. When you're angry, you can do an anger cooling meditation. Best of luck.

ZQ?

First of all, I hope you don't be too hard on yourself. I also understand and appreciate your feelings of wanting to change the situation. Let's get to the point. An older college student will tell you a few stories, hoping that you will first understand and forgive yourself before repairing the relationship.

First of all, don't worry. You're not the first person to go through this. It's a normal part of growing up. Adolescent rebellion is a phase that everyone goes through. My situation is actually quite similar to yours.

When I was in high school, I was under a lot of stress and argued with my parents quite a bit. My father couldn't sleep for two nights because of it. My mother broke two pairs of chopsticks in anger. I even grew white hair during that time. We argued over trivial matters every time. After losing my temper, I would calm down and realize that I was wrong, but I couldn't help but argue.

Later on, when I was repeating a year, I realized that my situation was pretty normal. Most of us repeaters had similar conflicts with our families. And let's face it, you were only in high school, right?

From the outside, she seems like a sensible, motivated, and good student. But she also had conflicts with her parents during her adolescence. The difference is that she didn't want to go home and just made trouble for herself outside, wandering around alone at night because she was really upset at the time and didn't know what to do.

I wouldn't necessarily recommend reading books or anything like that. It's not realistic given your schedule as a high school student. It also depends on your own interest in reading. You could spend your weekends watching a few short videos, reading some inspirational books, or learning to meditate. Meditation is good for memory and learning, and it's mainly about calming the mind.

Everyone's adolescence is different. I was four years old, but my classmate was only a few months. This is a stage of life that everyone will experience. There's no need to be overly anxious. The questioner should have almost experienced that stage. Once you've repaired your own relationship, you should take the initiative to repair the relationship.

My dear, I still think you should try to repair your relationship with your family. It's true that you don't have a grudge with your parents overnight, but there are still gaps. I've seen many people who have conflicts with their families, including myself, and I've only managed to repair it this year. Sometimes you have to create happiness for yourself.

Good morning, Mr. Landlord.

From a physiological standpoint, it is typical for individuals under the age of 18 to have underdeveloped brains and limited capacity to regulate their emotions in the same manner as adults.

Given these individual differences, it is important to recognize that each of us has our own character traits. Some individuals may be more melancholy, while others may be more explosive and irritable. It is understandable that these traits may manifest in different ways. However, for the sake of our own physical and mental health and the well-being of those around us, it is possible to address and modify these tendencies.

What is the most damaging statement to make in a disagreement?

The first is the various hurtful things the other person says. Once said, these statements cannot be retracted, and they will always be a source of contention for the listener.

The second issue is the uncooperative attitude of the other party.

Let's address each issue individually.

First, categorize your words into different levels: the "normal" level, where it is acceptable to say something; the "caution" level, where you say something that could potentially escalate the argument and make the other person angry; and the "caution" level, where you say something that could potentially cause significant distress to the other person and could lead to a prolonged disagreement. Some colorful expletives are relatively harmless, but it is inadvisable to use them in professional contexts, as they could be perceived as aggressive and lead to a deterioration in the relationship.

For example, avoid making any statements that could cause distress to the other person. During an argument, assess the current level of intensity and then rephrase your statement in a way that is less confrontational.

Secondly, prior to engaging in a heated discussion, it is advisable to inform your colleague that you intend to take a moment to collect yourself before continuing the conversation.

In addition, the following points should be noted:

1. When engaging in a discussion to resolve a problem, it is essential to maintain a focus on the issue at hand. The objective is to address the problem, not to engage in a conflict with the other party.

2. If the other party has crossed a line and said something you find unacceptable, you can clearly state that you do not wish to hear such comments again and that you will leave the conversation if they continue.

3. Engage in more exercise and focus on studying or other activities to deplete your energy and emotions, thereby enabling you to remain calm for an extended period.

4. When engaged in a dispute, consider the approach of a role model with exemplary interpersonal skills. How would they handle the situation?

5. When you feel low or unstable, you are more likely to have conflicts with others. At this time, you can set up a self-monitoring "camera" in your heart: "Okay, I'll see if you can get through this." Whenever you get through it smoothly, give yourself a pat on the back!

6. If you engage in a dispute with another individual due to your own issues and inadvertently cause them discomfort, do not hesitate to apologize sincerely. A courageous individual is one who is able to confront their own shortcomings directly.

Best regards,

Hello, colleague. From your account, I can empathize with your feelings. I can deeply feel that when anger strikes, it can destroy everything, but after the anger has passed, you just beat yourself up. When anger strikes, you can't always control yourself. I hope that my sharing can help you, and I also hope that you can have a new understanding of anger.

You also said in the article that you're currently a high school student and still in adolescence, so it's normal to have some emotions. High school students face more pressure from their studies and haven't had a good way to vent their emotions, so this anger has subconsciously become a way for you to release your stress.

Let's take a closer look at anger. What does psychology say about anger?

How does anger actually manifest in practice?

Anger is one of the basic human emotions. It's a feeling of self-blame that comes from within and is characterized by its rapid outbreak and destructive power. We can see this in infants a few months old. When we restrain the behavior of infants and control their activities, they cry because they're angry.

In psychology, anger is defined as follows: "Anger is an unpleasant emotional reaction caused by a perceived injustice or unacceptable frustration," according to American psychologist Jacques Hilar.

So, when anger hits, whether we hold back or let it all out, it's a red flag for negative emotions. It's also a reminder that "others have done us wrong, or our inner desires can't be met."

We all know that when anger strikes, it can hurt not only others but also ourselves. But why is it so hard to control?

Research shows that when we get angry, our brains release dopamine, which causes changes in our bodies like a faster heartbeat and higher blood pressure. This makes it hard for us to think rationally, so we might act aggressively or harmfully.

So another well-known expert, Verena Kast, summed it up by saying, "Any form of anger is basically an aggression against the environment and the world around us."

It's not surprising that when someone is angry and in a rush, they might do something out of the ordinary.

It's easy to see that in this situation, you'll probably do things you'll later regret.

Your anger comes from the pressure of your studies, plus the rebelliousness of adolescents.

This means we need to learn how to deal with and let go of the pressure from studying in other ways.

As they say, you've got to know yourself and your opponent if you want to win.

When we understand what anger is all about, we understand ourselves better. If we can manage our anger and use it to make positive changes, it can help us stand up for what's right.

I'd like to share an emotion management method with you:

American emotion management expert Dr. Ronald says that anger usually only lasts 12 seconds. It can destroy everything when it erupts, but afterwards it is calm. Controlling these 12 seconds can resolve negative emotions.

When you feel your emotions coming on, just close your eyes, count down 12 seconds in your heart, then take a few deep breaths and let them out slowly. This should help calm your anger.

I hope this helps you understand anger better and gives you some tips for controlling it in the future.

Adolescence is a time of self-discovery, and as such, it is both a time of pressure to learn and a time of confusion. This can often result in emotions being expressed at school in ways that are directed at our closest people.

It is not uncommon to feel like we are unable to control our lives and make mistakes along the way. Sometimes, our own ideas can prevent us from being straightforward with our loved ones, whether it's because we're unsure of how they'll react or because we're afraid of being misunderstood. This can leave us feeling stuck, wanting to make changes but unsure of how to go about it.

Perhaps it would be helpful to take a moment to reflect on the circumstances that led to each conflict. Was it the pressure of learning, or did it stem from a deeper emotional disturbance?

It's worth noting that emotions don't just appear out of nowhere. When we're uncertain about what's going on, it might be helpful to revisit the situation in question.

Life often encourages us to keep moving forward, regardless of whether we feel adequately prepared. I recognise that I still have a long way to go in terms of maturity, and I used to find comfort in this way of coping.

Now, when I need all this, I still behave the same way, but it is starting to affect my family. I am starting to wonder what kind of state I am in now, and how I should deal with life, which seems to be developing faster than I am.

When we feel overwhelmed, it's important to remember that we're not alone in facing these challenges. The school's psychological counselor is specially prepared to help you through this stressful period.

It is worth noting that the guidance of professionals in your life can also help to build a bridge of trust between you and your family, and to better face the fundamental causes of the problems.

Those of you who are constantly striving for change and want to regain a good life should believe that your life can be changed in your hands. It is important not to let family life erode in worry and silence. Instead, you should face your true emotions directly and frankly. With the help of your teachers and family, you can find your own youthful years.

I believe that everyone who is willing to work hard for a better life deserves respect and trust. It might be a good idea not to put all your eggs in one basket.

As we grow and develop, we are fortunate to have the support and guidance of family members and teachers, who play an invaluable role in our lives.

Hello!

I'm a mindfulness coach, and I believe learning is the greatest gift the body can receive.

From what you've told me, I can see that you're struggling with some inner doubts, distress, torment, anxiety, pain, and a strong desire to change.

I'm not going to get into the confusion you feel about not being able to control your emotions, but I do have three pieces of advice for you:

First, I suggest you try to understand yourself and give yourself a little comfort.

Doing so will help you feel a bit better and give you a clearer head to think about what to do next.

You say you're a high school student, feel like you're in adolescence, and can't control your emotions. This often leads to arguments with your family, hurtful words, and hurt feelings. You don't know what you did wrong and want to change, but it's painful. Many children in adolescence can't control their emotions and hurt their families. This is due to brain development and is out of their control. They're then puzzled, regretful, and blame themselves. I'm not saying what you did to hurt your family was right. I just want to say you didn't want to hurt them, so you can try to understand yourself, comfort yourself, and "see" that painful self who wants to have a good conversation but can't do it for the time being. This will give you extra mental energy to think about other things. Otherwise, your brain will always be filled with negative emotions.

It's also important to allow yourself to understand and accept yourself so you can make changes in your current situation. It might sound a bit contradictory, but it's true because change is based on allowing for no change.

Secondly, I suggest you take a rational look at your own situation.

Rational thinking can help you understand yourself and reality better.

To get a clear picture of the situation, there are two things you need to do:

First, remember that while you can't control your emotions because of how your brain develops during puberty, you can change because you have the power to make decisions.

The fact that you're here looking for help shows that you're already making changes, trying to get along with your family, and controlling your emotions.

It's also important to remember that adolescence is a stage that will eventually pass, and that time is on your side.

Second, it's important to understand that communication is one of the most effective ways to resolve problems in interpersonal relationships.

You say you're not sure what you did wrong, you're confused, and you want to get along with your family. These problems can be gradually resolved through open communication because after talking things through, your relationship with your family is likely to improve.

If you take a step back and look at the situation rationally, you might find that your negative emotions start to fade.

Once again, I suggest you focus on yourself and think about what you can do to feel better.

When you take a step back and look at the situation rationally, you may also know what to do. At this point, you focus on yourself and try your best to do it.

For instance, you could have a sincere chat with your family. Apologize for any hurtful behavior you've caused and then tell them how you really feel. Explain that you don't want to hurt them, but that you're temporarily unable to control your emotions. They're likely to understand and forgive you, which will help you feel more relaxed.

You can also learn to take responsibility for your own emotions when you can't control them. Before an emotional outburst, think about the consequences: hurting your family, your grandparents getting so angry they have to be hospitalized, your family members being sad and upset, etc. After thinking about the consequences, your emotions may have already been processed. This method is different from simply repressing emotions because the process of "deduction" allows emotions to flow, which may also make you feel better.

You might also want to read some books on how to control your emotions, which could also help you control your emotions.

You can also talk to your classmates. There may be some in the same situation as you, so you can understand and support each other, which may also help you feel better. In short, you need to know that you can do something to improve the situation.

Taking action is often the best way to deal with negative emotions. It's like they're the enemy, and action is the antidote.

I hope this helps. If you want to talk more, just click "Find a coach" at the bottom and we can chat one-on-one.

Hello, dear child!

Hi, I'm Yi Ming, your heart exploration coach!

I'm here for you. I understand your distress, and I'm very willing to share what I know with you. My goal is to comfort and inspire you.

1. It's so important to understand the characteristics of our adolescence.

You're a high school student going through puberty, which can be a tough time.

It's totally normal to feel like you can't control yourself when you don't want to argue with your family and shout.

This is all down to the way we grow and develop.

It's totally normal to feel depressed and angry because of changes in hormone levels, brain development, and psychological stress.

This is something we often find difficult, especially with our family members.

Just picture this: you're having a chat with your teacher. It's a lot easier to keep your cool when you're chatting to someone you know, isn't it?

Our family members are there for us and will never abandon us.

We all get irritable sometimes, and it can be hard to pinpoint why we're feeling angry. It's easy to take it out on our loved ones when we're feeling this way.

This is something that many adolescents and their parents struggle with.

It's totally normal for adolescents to have limited ability to control their emotions.

When we realize that we didn't mean to argue and yell, there are some simple things we can do to help us feel better when our emotions calm down.

2. Stay in touch with your family members!

It's so important to remember that communicating with our family members is something we should do when we're feeling calm and collected, not when we're feeling emotional.

It would be great if we could communicate more often!

We're here for you, just as you've come to us for help now. If you feel embarrassed about explaining things to your mother face-to-face, you can also write a letter or use WeChat.

If you feel like you're losing control of your emotions, don't be afraid to ask your mother and grandparents to be more patient with you. We all say things without thinking sometimes, and that's okay!

We may not have found the right outlet for our own adolescent worries, academic pressures, and anxieties, so we ask them for help, at least so that they don't give us such negative feedback. We're all in this together!

It's so easy to feel like the whole family is blaming you for what happened to your grandfather. It's natural to feel full of self-blame in this situation.

Oh, goodness! This is the last thing you want, I'm sure.

It's so important to remember that how to successfully navigate through puberty requires the joint efforts of the whole family.

We all get angry sometimes, and it's totally normal to feel resentment towards our family members. It's just important to remember to express those feelings in a constructive way.

We all get impatient sometimes, and it can be hard to keep our emotions in check when we're feeling particularly stressed. It's only natural!

It's so important to express your emotions in a timely manner. It really can make a big difference!

Through this kind of communication, family members will understand more and know that you can't control your emotions. They'll have more understanding, rather than blame, which is more conducive to getting through this period.

And finally, some other tips!

It's true that during adolescence, our ability to control our emotions is limited. But there are good reasons for this!

On a brighter note, there are still a few simple ways we can help ourselves feel better.

For instance, take a deep breath and slow down for a few seconds.

It's so important to be aware of your emotions.

We all get angry sometimes. It's okay to feel frustrated or annoyed. But whenever you feel like shouting, just take a moment to pause and think.

Take a deep breath, my friend.

Psychologists have a lovely way of comparing our emotions to an elephant, and our rationality to the person riding the elephant.

We all have those days when we feel like the elephant rider, weak and short, lacking in strength.

That's why it can sometimes feel tricky to control our emotions.

All we need to do is be aware of our emotions, rather than trying to control them. Finding a more suitable approach will do the trick!

For example, some kids in their teens really benefit from taking part in more sports, which is great for helping them to regulate their emotions.

It would be really great for you if you could chat with your family and friends more often.

I know it can be tough, but listening to soothing music can really help.

If chatting with family members is too much for you in normal times, when you feel emotional, don't worry! Just go out of the house, temporarily leave the environment that triggers conflicts, or just stay alone for a while.

Dear child, I know it's not easy for you, my dear.

It's so important to understand yourself, and to find a way of coping that works for you as you navigate your way through adolescence.

You might also want to think about finding a professional to see if there's a better way.

I wish you all the best!

I love you, and I love the world too!

I empathize with your situation based on your description. I would like to offer you a warm embrace as a gesture of support.

1.

As a high school student, it is likely that you are experiencing academic pressure, which can have a significant impact on your mental health and well-being. I can relate to this, as I also faced considerable academic challenges during my high school years. I often felt overwhelmed and lacked motivation to engage with my studies. I rarely visited my home during that period and found it difficult to connect with the warmth and support that I needed.

Maintaining a journal proved an effective strategy for navigating that challenging period. It is a technique that may also prove beneficial for you.

2.

Have you ever experienced periods of depression and irritability, accompanied by feelings of restlessness? If so, have you sought the advice of a psychiatrist to gain a diagnosis?

There are licensed therapists on this platform who are available for consultation via chat. If financial resources permit, it is advisable to seek professional counseling. When experiencing stress, it is beneficial to have a support system in place to help navigate emotional challenges.

3.

If time permits, I recommend reading the book, The Power of Self-Growth. Alternatively, if time is limited, listening to the audiobook is an option. The key to loving others is self-acceptance, including one's positive and negative qualities. Regardless of one's shortcomings, self-acceptance is essential for happiness.

I am an individual with distinctive characteristics and qualities.

4.

It would be prudent to temporarily set aside your studies. What is the worst that could happen if you were to enroll in a less than optimal college and obtain a junior college degree? There are numerous examples of individuals who have achieved success despite having received a less than rigorous education. These include Jackie Chan and a 14-year-old acquaintance of mine who is now a multimillionaire entrepreneur after leaving school. Education is merely an indicator of one's ability to study effectively and does not necessarily reflect one's overall capabilities. When you enter the workforce and are required to adapt to new challenges, your performance will be evaluated based on your abilities. If you maintain a long-term perspective, you will recognize that this initial setback is merely a minor obstacle in your life and will eventually be overcome.

5.

One might posit that if one were to set aside one's studies and approach them with less rigor, one's emotional state would improve. It is possible that one's family would exert pressure, but ultimately, one is the arbiter of one's own decisions. While others may offer counsel, they are not empowered to make decisions on one's behalf. The ultimate decision rests with the individual. When one lives a life of fulfillment, one may come to recognize that the world is not as bleak as it is often perceived to be.

6.

As a high school student, it is expected that you will be at school for the majority of the time. If you are not comfortable with your family, you are free to spend time away from them. It is likely that your personality will change significantly after high school.

7.

It is commendable that you are able to rapidly discern your present circumstances and surroundings. This ability to perceive is, in fact, the initial step in effecting change. I am confident that you will continue to adapt and evolve, and I encourage you to persevere.

I would like to extend my sincerest congratulations on your achievements. I hope that my contributions have provided some inspiration and assistance, and that you will soon be free from your concerns. I wish you the best of luck.