High school students are under a lot of pressure to study, but what if their parents don't understand?

Hello, question asker! I am the answer key, Enoch.

From the questioner's description, it seems that the questioner, due to his declining Japanese grades, attempted to communicate with the teacher to request additional lessons. However, the teacher was unable to provide these lessons in a timely manner, which may have contributed to the questioner's less than optimal test scores. When his mother observed his grades, she was also disappointed and expressed her disapproval to the questioner in a way that did not fully distinguish between right and wrong. This made the questioner, who was already experiencing feelings of self-blame, feel even more distressed. I empathize with the questioner, who also desires understanding from his parents, and I am unsure of the best course of action.

Perhaps there is a reason why the questioner got such a result. I'm not sure if the questioner has told his mother the specific process as described on this platform. If he has and his mother is still so angry, it could be that she lacks patience with him and has unfairly placed the blame on the questioner for his poor grades without understanding the situation.

My son is five years old. Yesterday, he dropped something on the floor while eating. I responded to the situation with a scolding because before he dropped it, he told me that he was full and didn't want to eat anymore, and then the food fell. I expressed my disappointment in him for not eating and putting it away, and asked why he threw it on the floor. He said he didn't throw it, it just fell. I was still a bit upset, and the child cried a lot, and I was also upset.

After the initial emotional response had subsided, I spoke to my child. In the process, I came to realize that I had invested money in something, but my child had not utilized it as intended. Even if he had accidentally dropped it, I was still disappointed because I had invested money in it and my child had made a mistake.

It is possible that the reason for the mother's anger was a perception that the situation was a waste of money and that she needed to find someone to take the blame. The questioner was therefore seen as directly responsible, which may have led to the mother expressing her emotions in an uncontrollable way.

At the time, I hadn't fully considered that my child might not want to eat. He was still young and couldn't communicate with his parents in time to say to put it away. He didn't know how to solve the problem. He didn't want to eat anymore, so his attention was diverted and he accidentally dropped it. At that time, I was also cooking and didn't help my child solve the problem in time. So while I was teaching my child to tell the parents to put it away if he didn't want to eat anymore, I also had to help my child put a bowl next to him while he was eating, so that he could handle this matter in time by himself. I also moved his seat closer to the table so that he could reach it.

I believe that after the mother has had a chance to express her feelings, she may also take some time to reflect on her own actions. What about the original poster? In the future, you might consider letting your mother know if you're having trouble communicating with the teacher. She may be able to help you find a way to communicate more effectively with the teacher, as they often have very full schedules. If they have to give extra lessons to a student, they may not be able to arrange the time well. Additionally, they may feel that they've invested additional time without seeing a corresponding benefit, which could lead them to put this matter aside until they have time to address it.

However, when parents communicate, it can lead to more detailed communication between the teacher and the parents, which in turn can facilitate more effective collaboration in finding solutions to the problem.

It would be advisable for the questioner to communicate with their teachers and family in a timely manner should they encounter difficulties in the learning process in the future. This will help to avoid any negative impact on their studies and prevent any misunderstandings. By fostering good communication, we can promote mutual understanding and more effective problem-solving.

Hello! I'm the place of peace. Thank you so much for being willing to come to the platform to talk. You have the motivation to seek help, which makes

You felt really bad about the big drop in your Japanese exam score. You tried to adjust your emotions and go home, and took the initiative to admit your mistake to your mother. She scolded and blamed you again and again, but you kept going! Your mother's attitude seemed to make you feel sad, but you also felt a little bit angry.

I'm excited to hear more about your attitude at the time and the response you received!

I'd love to know more about your usual mode of interaction with your mother!

I'd love to know what you think your mother is like! If you had to describe her in words, what would you use?

You are so eager to come to the platform to seek possible help, and it's so great that you're willing to seek help. I really appreciate you for this!

You have the courage to face problems head-on and the autonomy to solve them. You are also a sensible, intelligent child!

We say that everyone is their own expert and has the potential to surpass themselves and become a better version of themselves, and your awareness of this is particularly outstanding!

I'd love to hear if you've taken the time to think about this seriously. Have you tried to do something to make your mother understand you?

For example, you could try inviting your mother to find a place where they can be left alone, temporarily putting aside their bad feelings, and having a calm and honest conversation.

Tell your mother all about the tutoring, your feelings, and your needs. And don't forget to express your love and gratitude to her!

This may be a very big challenge for you, but I know you can do it! With a loving connection, a shared goal, and a strong sense of self-growth, you'll be able to take on this difficult problem that is troubling your mind. You can definitely do something to solve it!

I'm rooting for you!

Hello, I'm Jiayun!

I know it can be really tough going into your senior year, with all the intense studying and stressful exams. It's so hard when you make a mistake on an exam, and it can feel like you're already under a lot of pressure. It's great that you've got a plan in place for what you need to do next, and I can see you're hoping your mother will be more understanding and encouraging. It's totally understandable that you're feeling frustrated, angry and sad, but try not to let it get you down.

We all want to be understood, but it's not something we can force. We're all unique and will eventually become independent, so whether or not we're understood isn't entirely within our control.

It can be really tough when you feel like you're not being understood. It can even make you feel lonely. But remember, you've got this! You can do it on your own.

Your mom might not understand you because she hasn't experienced what you've experienced, and it's totally understandable! She's in her own position, feeling anxious and worried about your achievements.

But at the end of the day, you're the one who has to study for the exams, right? Maybe you could tell your mom about your study plan so she doesn't worry too much. You could also talk to her about how she can support you.

At the end of the day, it's up to you to decide what's best for you. It's normal for your mom's attitude to affect you, and it can be tough to get her to understand you the way you want.

Instead of trying so hard to make your mom understand you, remember that even if she doesn't get it right away, you can choose what's best for you.

I just want to wish you the best of luck in adjusting your mindset under pressure and working hard for yourself. You've got this!

Good morning,

My name is Vera, and I would like to schedule a conversation with you.

As you enter your third year of high school, you are poised at the threshold of your future. This is a pivotal juncture in your life.

The impact of any fluctuation in grades before the major examination is significant. It is challenging to manage one's emotions and the expectations of a parent when faced with such circumstances.

You have done your best and done what you could, which is very commendable.

After your senior year of high school, you will face your future. Not only do you value it, but your mother probably values it even more than you do. She has a great many expectations for you, and she cannot afford to have fluctuations. Therefore, she becomes anxious, and the blame and disapproval she expresses are really just her saying, "Look at how much I have sacrificed for you. I hope you can repay me with good grades."

She is attempting to gain your attention by placing the blame on you. However, she is unable to request anything in return. Providing care and support to you is a sacrifice.

It is unreasonable to expect a reward in this situation.

You promptly identified the cause of your fluctuating grades and adjusted your emotional response. When confronted by your mother, you felt aggrieved but accepted responsibility and committed to improved performance in the future.

It appears that your mother did not accept your proposal. What response would be most beneficial to her? "Mom, you invested a great deal in providing Japanese language training for me, and I didn't perform as expected. I'm sorry for the outcome and the impact it has had on you. I understand the concerns and disappointment you must be feeling.

I have identified the reason for my unsatisfactory performance. It is possible that I missed too many Japanese classes and did not make up for them in time. I will make up for the missed classes in time after this. I will do my utmost to improve my score. I ask for your understanding and patience.

Please provide an explanation for your poor performance on the examination. Additionally, communicate your feelings regarding this outcome to your mother and demonstrate an understanding of her frustration. It is likely that you and your mother will be able to reach a mutual understanding.

Hello, classmate. I'm Teacher Yu, your school's in-house psychologist.

I can see that you're going through a lot right now. You're in your third year of high school, and the pressure to study is intense. At the same time, you don't have a good understanding of your parents' perspective.

I'd like to take a moment to understand you better.

Senior year is a big deal. It's the most important year of our school careers, so it's bound to be stressful. It'll also be a challenge to get through it without your parents' understanding and support. But right now, when you need that support the most, you haven't been able to get it. I imagine you must be feeling pretty disappointed, confused, and helpless, right?

I see you said your Japanese score dropped from 130 or 140 to 118. This decline in your grades is a big setback for you, and you feel helpless. This isn't what you want, and you hope you can maintain your previous scores. But after missing more than a month of classes, it's difficult to maintain your grades. I think you got your current score of 118 through hard work, which is already difficult.

You've been dealing with a lot of pressure and the fallout from this result, and you've finally managed to adjust your mentality. But when you get home, instead of receiving comfort from your mother, you receive repeated accusations and complaints. I can imagine how sad, lost, and helpless you felt. Under these circumstances, although you were already feeling very bad, you still took the initiative to admit your mistakes to your mother, without defending yourself.

You said that when your mother complained and blamed you for the third time, you couldn't hold back and exploded. You had a fight with her. At this time, you must have been in a bad mood, so you wanted to take a day off to relieve your emotions. However, your mother still didn't understand you. She blamed you for being pretentious and ignoring your stress.

You say you don't want her to understand you, as if you've completely given up on your mother and now just hope she won't affect your mood. But at the end of the day, you still hope to find a way to make your parents understand you.

I get the feeling you've always cared a lot about your mom's feelings. I bet you love her a lot, too. When you love someone, you care a lot about what they think of you and whether they understand you.

Here's what I think you should do:

How do we handle the fact that our parents don't understand us, or how can we get them to understand? I don't think there's much we can do about it because we can't control other people. We can only control ourselves.

It can be tough to meet each other's needs because we're in different places and have different ways of thinking. Our ideas and concepts are often different, and it's not always easy to find common ground. What can we do in this situation? We can accept and embrace our parents' lack of understanding.

Of course, their lack of understanding is also out of their concern and love for me, so we can try to see if there are really aspects of ourselves that we can improve behind this lack of understanding. If there are, then we should try to meet our parents' expectations. If we feel that we have really tried our best, then at this time, our parents' lack of understanding is not something we should dwell on. It is their own emotion, and they need to take responsibility for it and work through it. We should each be responsible for our own emotions.

In a nutshell:

At 18, you need to start thinking about independence. It's important to figure out who you are, what you want to do, and what kind of life you want to lead. This is the start of your independence journey. Even if your family doesn't understand you, you need to take control of your own life.

I hope you, who are filial and responsible, can find a way out of your predicament and gain spiritual freedom.