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Housewives find it difficult to find meaning in life. How can they change their situation?

housewife university teacher childcare depression helplessness
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Housewives find it difficult to find meaning in life. How can they change their situation? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

I am a housewife and my husband is a university teacher. He works from morning to night, and I can only stay at home to take care of the baby.

Our child is just one year old. I was a bit depressed after giving birth, and my husband didn't have time for me. He was very busy at work and under a lot of pressure. I got through that period on my own.

I have felt very helpless over the past year. My mother is also quite old and unable to help me.

My mother-in-law only criticizes me. My current life is trapped at home, surrounded by my children.

I feel that my life has no meaning. I have become dependent on this family, not the master of it. How can I get out of this situation?

Savannah Grace Fitzgerald-Johnson Savannah Grace Fitzgerald-Johnson A total of 1461 people have been helped

I am honored to respond to your inquiry.

I am aware of your current situation and perceive your anxiety. It is imperative that you recognize your existence and contributions within the familial structure. Childrearing is a challenging endeavor, and the role of motherhood is a significant one. However, it often requires a substantial amount of energy to perform this role effectively. I acknowledge your efforts to fulfill the role of a mother, yet it is evident that you lack the understanding and assistance from your family.

In regard to your current discomfort, it is unclear whether you have attempted to communicate with your partner. It is important to recognize the significance of the role of a partner in a family unit. You may wish to consider communicating with him to inquire about the possibility of him assisting you with childcare responsibilities following your work hours. Additionally, it is crucial to recognize the importance of emotional support. When he is not present, you may wish to contemplate the feasibility of assuming childcare duties and identify potential sources of assistance. It is also essential to prioritize your own relaxation and stress management. While addressing immediate concerns is vital, it is also important to recognize that some challenges may require a more long-term approach. For instance, you have indicated that you are currently unable to assume full childcare responsibilities. In such circumstances, it is essential to learn to adapt and prioritize immediate concerns while also striving to maintain emotional stability.

You are already performing your duties admirably, and as a mother, your efforts are commendable. I encourage you to persevere, and I hope you can have a happy future and successfully overcome the current difficulties.

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Beverly Violet Holland Beverly Violet Holland A total of 7727 people have been helped

Hello!

The role of housewife is arguably the most challenging, the least appreciated, and the least rewarded.

The good news is that although the whole family feels that this role is indispensable, there are ways to get the corresponding respect and support!

You encounter an ununderstanding family member who also dislikes, picks on, and blames you.

Your husband is a university teacher who goes to work early in the morning and returns home late at night. He is very busy at work, under a lot of pressure, and has no time to spend with you. He provides very little support and company for you, and he is unable to share the housework with you, right? But guess what! You can change all of that!

Your mother is old, your mother-in-law only blames you, you became depressed after giving birth, and you have been holding it together until now, but you still feel helpless. But guess what? You can change all of that!

It seems that you have no one to rely on, but you can change that! You can become the hostess with the mostess! You can find the sense of being the hostess and make your life meaningful again.

How can you get out of your current state and into a better one?

We can proceed in the following three ways:

1. Focus on your mental health and get out of your current state of helplessness and meaninglessness. You can do this!

2. Get ready to level up your work skills and make the exciting transition from housewife to working woman!

3. Unleash your inner explorer and discover new interests and hobbies to enrich your spare time and spiritual world!

Before you got married and had children, were you unemployed or working?

If you were working before, your family needs you now, so you are contributing to your family—and that's a great thing!

It's time to recognize your efforts and take your psychological changes seriously! Pay attention to your own mental health and watch the magic happen.

If your family can't help you, don't worry! You can always seek help from outside.

If postpartum depression is allowed to continue, it could have a significant impact on both you and your child. But don't worry! There are ways to get yourself out of this state of mind and back to feeling like your old self again.

And don't forget to appropriately block or deal with your mother-in-law's accusations!

So, if you want to get yourself out of your current state of life, you need to be mentally prepared and motivated to do things!

This is the first thing you need to do!

Second, you've realized that you, as a housewife, have so much to offer and don't want to be stuck in this role forever, do you?

Your husband is a university teacher, which is a great thing! But if you stay at home for too long, the gap between you and him might start to widen.

Are you ready to jump back into the workforce when your little one is a few years older and starting kindergarten?

If you have this intention, you can start preparing now, learn some relevant skills, or improve your previous vocational skills, so that when you return to the workplace, you'll be ready to take on whatever comes your way!

And third, our lives are so much more than just work and family! They're about giving to others, too.

To live a happy life, you absolutely have to find a hobby you love to do in your spare time and enrich your spiritual life!

Now is the time to think about all those things you've wanted to do but haven't had the chance! You can do them while you're taking care of the children.

When you feel like you've become dependent on this family, it's time to take the reins and put yourself in a prominent position so that your family can see you!

I really hope the above answers can help you!

I'm Yan Guilai, a psychological counselor, and I'm thrilled to be your guide on this incredible journey of self-discovery and truth-seeking!

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Felicity Kennedy Felicity Kennedy A total of 4273 people have been helped

Good day!

I can appreciate the challenges you face as a housewife, including feelings of helplessness and depression, as well as a sense of meaninglessness in life.

I hope you will find these opinions helpful to consider.

There may be a variety of reasons for this "helplessness and depression, and a sense of meaninglessness in life." For example, in some cultures and environments, housewives may face social pressure and prejudice, be labeled as "just housewives," and lack a certain social status and recognition, which may lead to emotional distress and self-doubt.

It is possible that this lack of achievement may lead to emotional distress, especially in terms of financial and social status.

For instance, while you have successfully "given birth" and have been "by the child's side" throughout, your status, value, and role in the small family are irreplaceable.

It is possible that, because you are focused on caring for your children and family, you may feel a lack of personal fulfillment.

It is also worth noting that as a housewife spending a lot of time at home, your social circle may be relatively narrow, and you may lack opportunities to interact with others. This could potentially lead to feelings of boredom and a lack of purpose, which in turn could exacerbate feelings of loneliness and depression.

It is also possible that the long-term burdens of being "trapped at home" and bearing most of the responsibilities in the family, including caring for children, household chores, and taking the blame, may lead to physical and mental exhaustion and depression.

It is also common for this period to be when one is least likely to prioritize their own needs and desires. Without sufficient self-care and self-attention, this can further contribute to emotional distress and depression.

Based on the above analysis, some positive methods and measures that you might like to consider as a housewife to help you overcome feelings of helplessness, depression and a sense of meaninglessness in life are:

It may be helpful to consider building a wider support system.

You might consider reaching out to other family members, friends, or other housewives to share your experiences and feelings and to seek as much support and understanding as possible, just as you would go to a platform to seek help.

It might also be helpful to try to make time to expand your social contacts by participating in more social activities, community groups, or online support groups.

Secondly, it may be helpful to set goals and make plans.

As a housewife, it might be helpful to consider not limiting all your time and energy to being "with the children."

It might be helpful to share family responsibilities with your family and establish a reasonable family schedule. This could help reduce your personal burden and allow you to set aside a little time and space to do the things you want to do.

You may find it helpful to set personal goals and create a plan to achieve them, as this can help you feel a sense of direction and purpose in your life.

You might consider learning a new skill, getting involved in some voluntary activities, or starting a personal project.

It would also be beneficial to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

Raising children is undoubtedly a challenging endeavor, and maintaining a consistent schedule can be difficult.

It may be helpful to consider that maintaining a good diet, regular exercise, and adequate rest could be beneficial in relieving depression and increasing happiness.

It may be helpful to consider that developing and maintaining adequate sleep and a healthy lifestyle could potentially contribute to improvements in mental health.

You might also consider finding activities or hobbies that interest you and incorporating them into your daily life.

This may help you maintain physical and mental health and increase the joy and sense of meaning in your life.

If, despite your best efforts, you find that this sense of helplessness and depression continues to affect your daily life, you may wish to consider seeking professional help from a counselor.

They can provide effective psychotherapy and support to help you gain a deeper understanding of your emotional distress and learn ways to cope with it.

We hope that you will find this information helpful.

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Poppy Shaw Poppy Shaw A total of 9910 people have been helped

Hello!

From what I've read, you're a housewife and your husband is a university teacher. It seems like your family is your top priority, and there's a big difference between you and your husband. You're not sure where you stand in your family, and I can sense your powerlessness and helplessness.

You were a bit down after your child was born, and you had to get through that tough time on your own since your husband was busy at work and under a lot of pressure. You're really brave and very lucky. I'm sending you a virtual hug and hope you can feel a little warmth.

Now that the baby is one year old, you've been stuck at home for the past year. Your mother can't help you, and your mother-in-law only criticizes you. You're surrounded by the baby and feel dependent on the family. You don't feel like the master of the house.

I think that when you're at home alone, you lack interaction and companionship. It can feel like no one cares or understands, and the housework is heavy and exhausting. Sleep is often interrupted, and you have a lot of responsibility for such a young child. It's easy to feel the meaninglessness of life when you're facing all of that. I hug you again from afar, hoping to comfort you.

You get to decide how things are used and arranged in the house, as well as how you raise your children.

Your husband and you will discuss and decide on important family matters together. You both work in different places. He is paid, and so are you.

If you hire a full-time live-in nanny, you should be paid what you deserve. Don't belittle yourself or deplete your own value.

Please believe in your own value. You are the hostess of the family.

"Know thyself" is a pretty famous saying.

People live in society and have many roles. It's pretty common for people to lose themselves in these roles. Many people are unable to truly understand themselves, which is why this famous quote has survived to this day.

Who are you in your family? You're the wife, the mother, the daughter, and the daughter-in-law.

So, are you still yourself? Don't forget that you are you. You have your own name, your own specialties and preferences. You were once a student and a professional, with your own expertise, your own life and your own circle of friends.

Housewife is just one of your roles. If you want, you can take on more roles, and if you need to, you can also be yourself again.

We just need to accept ourselves. I think your decision to stay at home and take care of your family and children was a well-thought-out decision made by you and your husband together.

So just take a look at the reality of the situation and accept it for what it is. It's only temporary, and you'll get to know yourself again in the future and do the things you think are more meaningful.

As your child grows up, you'll have more and more time on your hands. You can communicate more with other mothers you get along with, make some social contacts, or contact your old friends for a chat to reduce the sense of loneliness and perhaps improve your mood. Every day, set aside some time, even half an hour, to do your old hobbies, those that you can do while taking care of your child, such as writing, music, painting, handicrafts, etc.

Make your life rich and colorful.

It's okay to accept your imperfect self and regain your self-confidence. If you need help, you can contact a psychological counselor. They can support you through a difficult time, analyze problems with you, and help you get rid of internal conflicts.

They'll help you find yourself and regain your confidence.

I love you, and I know you love yourself too.

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Hugh Hugh A total of 1761 people have been helped

Hello, my name is Zeyu.

The meaning of life is something we each create for ourselves, and the way we live our lives is also something we each control. This means that we can regard the current act of seeking help as the beginning of a transformation. Right now, we are looking for the meaning of life and trying to change the state of life.

The questioner's position is that of a housewife, which naturally leads to a focus on child care. In this situation, it can feel as though the only things we can control are the everyday matters of the family and the children.

If we wish to effect change, we might consider beginning by moving beyond the label of housewife. It may be helpful to free ourselves from the constraints of self-imposed limitations. In traditional culture, mothers are often expected to remain at home with their children, but the reality is that there are many other possibilities, and we can explore these now, beyond the care of children.

Everyone has some labels, and if we regard these labels as fixed and unchangeable, our thinking patterns may become rigid as a result. Perhaps it would be beneficial for us to try to see things beyond the label of housewife. In fact, there are many people with the same label as us, and we could also try to find peer groups to interact with them and share parenting experiences. We could also choose to use existing resources to learn and grow, which could help us to break away from the current state of life.

Regarding the meaning of life, we now have the opportunity to explore and give it meaning. The questioner may wish to consider the benefits that housewives bring to us. Perhaps we will find that in this situation, we can take charge of our own lives and have more opportunities to put it into practice.

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Wilhelmine Wilhelmine A total of 7388 people have been helped

Dear questioner, I'm Peilü, and I'm here for you.

First of all, I'll give you a big, warm hug ?

? Depressive mood

Let's take a moment to assess ourselves.

Now, let's dive into the data together!

Statement from the original poster: I've been feeling a bit down since having a baby. My husband is busy at work and doesn't have much time for me. My mother-in-law is quite critical, and I feel like I don't have anyone I can really rely on. For the past year, I've been taking care of the baby all day long, and it's been tough. I feel like I'm trapped in the family and can't find a sense of purpose or control. I can relate to how exhausted, confused, and helpless you must feel right now. New mothers lack experience after giving birth and need help at this time, but there's no one to turn to. They have to rely on themselves to get through it. This period of time has really been hard for you. While I feel for you, I also admire your resilience. Hugs~

Let's take a look at the reasons why.

Family support

"My husband doesn't have time for me, bless him. He's very busy at work and under a lot of stress," "My mother is also getting older and can't help me. My mother-in-law is a bit of a handful, bless her."

"From what you've told me, it seems like you could use some extra support and help after giving birth, especially when it comes to childcare. I know parenting can be really tough, and it's not always easy to find people who understand what you're going through. It's understandable that your mother-in-law's comments have made you feel more alone and sad. It's natural to feel overwhelmed and helpless when you're dealing with so many challenges, especially when you're tired.

It's time for a little self-evaluation!

"My life is now confined to the home, surrounded by my children. I feel that my life has no meaning, that I have become dependent on this family, not like the master of this household."

As a housewife, you might feel like you don't get enough recognition. You're often tied down by your children and family, and you might have a low opinion of yourself. It's totally normal to feel like you're a dependent, and it's okay if you haven't fully accepted and adapted to your role as a mother. It's also normal to feel like you don't have control of your life.

Just a little bit of personal advice:

It might help to change your perception.

After marriage, women usually return to the family and take on the responsibility of child-rearing. The housewife is the hostess of a family and an important factor in maintaining family stability. It's a big job, but it's also a very rewarding one!

It seems that you and your husband have a clear division of labor, with the man taking care of the outside world and the woman taking care of the home. Both of you contribute your energy to the family, and it's so admirable! Your husband can work hard outside with peace of mind because of your hard work in the background, and your children can grow up healthy and happy because of your careful nurturing. You are the one who takes care of all the household chores, and these are all manifestations of your value as a mother and wife. Don't ignore your own contributions! You are not someone's subordinate. You have taken on the responsibilities of the family of your own accord, and you are a well-deserved hostess.

Please, don't be afraid to seek support.

When you just can't go on any longer, there's no need to push yourself. You have every right to express your needs, and your emotions need to be taken seriously. You can talk to your husband about what you're going through, and he can also help to smooth things over between your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, which might help to reduce any conflicts.

I think we can find a reasonable resolution here.

We all know how it goes. You're busy taking care of your family all day long, and before you know it, life has become a bit of a routine. But there are ways to shake things up! You could try developing a hobby or a side business at home to set aside time for learning and growth. It's so important to take care of yourself while you're taking care of your family. And there are so many ways to do that. You could join a community parenting group, make new friends, and exchange experiences with each other. Or, you could even arrange an outdoor parent-child activity to bring you closer to nature and help you relax.

?

I love you, world!

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Maximus Kennedy Maximus Kennedy A total of 39 people have been helped

Dear Da, As a housewife, your life is full of many responsibilities and tasks. The needs of your children and family often require your attention, and it can feel as though there is never-ending work to be done.

In the midst of these challenges, it's easy to lose sight of your own needs and growth. You may even feel helpless and lost.

I would like to paint a new picture of life for you, so that you can feel the richness and fullness of life.

Just picture this: You wake up every morning to the sunlight streaming into your bedroom. You gently wake your children, then prepare a cup of aromatic coffee for yourself. You sit by the window, take in the view, and enjoy a moment of tranquility.

This is the beginning of you rediscovering yourself, paying attention to your own emotions and needs, and allowing yourself to move beyond the role of a mere supporting member of the family.

Additionally, you have had the opportunity to take cooking classes and learn to prepare a variety of cuisines. In the kitchen, you feel at home and are able to transform ingredients into delicious dishes.

You have also had the opportunity to make new friends and expand your social circle.

At the same time, you have also been able to communicate more openly and in-depth with your husband. You have been able to negotiate the division of family responsibilities together, and he has been more involved in the education of the children and household chores.

This allows you the opportunity to focus on your own growth and needs, while also achieving a balance between family and personal life.

Of course, life has its share of challenges and setbacks. When you feel down or anxious, you might find comfort in the story of Kong Xiu, a 2024 film that participated in the Cannes Film Festival and resonates with many women.

She once lost herself for the sake of her family and children, and was unfortunately bullied by her husband for no reason. However, she did not give up on herself and always maintained a love for life. In the end, she wrote a book about her experiences in marriage and family throughout her life, and successfully achieved self-transformation. I would like to suggest that the difficulty of being alone is not necessarily scary; what might be scary is giving in to the difficulty.

I hope you will consider setting short-term and long-term goals for yourself, learning new skills, taking training courses, and seeking career development opportunities again.

With time, you begin to find your way again and rediscover your sense of purpose in life. In the process, you come to appreciate your own value and dreams.

Ultimately, you may find that you become a more fulfilled, confident, and happy individual. You might even find that you are no longer just a housewife, but rather the central member of the family, a role model and guide for your children, and the master of your own house.

By paying attention to yourself, seeking support, cultivating hobbies, and setting goals, you have gradually made strides towards a more complete and happier state of life.

I have created a film for you.

In the past, you may have felt as though you were standing in a forest shrouded in mist, surrounded by uncertainty and confusion.

But you are not alone today, because in this forest there are many other lost souls like you. Your emotions and struggles are like the thorns and vines in the forest, which may cause discomfort but also serve as a testament to your growth.

In this forest, you may find that there are many people who share your ideals. They may be nearby, or perhaps they are further away.

You have successfully joined the mother and child exchange group, or participated in community parent-child activities, sharing your experiences and feelings with them and learning from their stories.

You may find that, although everyone's path is different, we are all looking for the same starry sky.

If I might make one more suggestion, it would be to remember to give yourself some time and space. In this forest, we sometimes need to stop and appreciate the gifts of nature, and listen to the voice within.

It is important to remember that your value extends beyond just taking care of your children. Your own growth and happiness are also valuable.

You are a special and unique being in this forest.

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Oliver Alexander Bennett-Martinez Oliver Alexander Bennett-Martinez A total of 5008 people have been helped

It's normal to feel helpless and lacking a sense of purpose in life when you're a housewife with young children. Your role and responsibilities can feel stressful and limiting. Here are some suggestions to help you change your life situation and find more satisfaction and meaning in life:

1. **Self-care**: You must make time for self-care. Prioritize regular rest, exercise, and a healthy diet.

It is crucial to prioritize self-care to maintain mental health.

2. Find support. Join a mothers' group or a homemakers' community. Share experiences and feelings with others in a similar situation. This kind of social support will help you feel less lonely and benefit from the experiences of others.

3. Develop interests and hobbies. Discover and develop your interests and hobbies, whether it be cooking, crafts, reading, or writing. These activities will bring enjoyment and a sense of achievement to your life.

4. Learn new skills. Take online courses or use community education resources. This will boost your confidence and open new doors for your future career.

5. Build a social network. You may be busy caring for children, but you should still make time for friends and family. Schedule regular social activities, such as gatherings or outdoor activities, to stay socially connected.

6. Communication and expression: Be open with your partner about your feelings and needs. Talk about how to balance family responsibilities and how to provide you with more support and understanding.

7. Set personal goals. These goals can be related to family or personal growth and interest development. Set short-term and long-term goals for yourself.

8. Get professional help if you feel depressed or unable to cope with your current situation. A counselor can provide professional guidance and treatment.

9. Time management: You must organize your time well to ensure that you have time to take care of your children and household chores, as well as time for your own personal activities.

10. You are valuable. As a housewife, your work is essential to the functioning of the family. Don't underestimate your importance in the family.

You will find more meaning and satisfaction in life by changing your life situation. It will take time and effort, but you can do it. Gradually put the above suggestions into practice.

It is just as important to maintain your self-recognition and care for your well-being and satisfaction.

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Logan Green Logan Green A total of 3423 people have been helped

Hello, I'm Phil, and I'd like to offer you a warm embrace.

I'm truly sorry to hear you're going through this.

From what you have told me, it seems that

Given your role as a housewife and your experience of caring for children over an extended period,

This has led to some emotional challenges for you.

It seems that your life and social life are somewhat out of sync.

Your husband has a full-time job that provides him with a decent income.

It seems that he doesn't have much time to spend with you.

You would like to start anew, but you are unsure of the best way to move forward.

Every mother is wonderful in her own way.

It is particularly challenging if you have recently given birth and are still in the postpartum period, when you have to care for the baby and manage the household simultaneously.

It would also be beneficial to take care of the household.

It might be said that many housewives have chosen to devote themselves to housework, foregoing their original careers and various dreams and hobbies.

This may eventually lead to a desire to return to your previous lifestyle or to make some changes.

It is not uncommon to feel uncertain about the next steps to take.

Or perhaps it's simply not something you feel you have the heart for.

It might be helpful to consider that you may have already lost your physical condition.

You might consider trying to adjust and recover your physical and mental state.

For instance, when your child has reached the stage of weaning or when you have the opportunity to step back a little and not have to keep an eye on them 24 hours a day,

Perhaps it would be beneficial to allow yourself some free time.

It might be helpful to gradually adjust your routine by incorporating activities you can do at home or within your reach.

You might also consider looking into it again.

You might consider picking up some hobbies and work that you put aside in order to take care of your family.

It might be helpful to consider whether you could still continue to do it.

If you feel you have the energy,

Or perhaps you have some larger aspirations.

Or perhaps you would like to consider returning to work.

Some new mothers might also find it helpful to...

You might consider using your free time to prepare for exams.

You might also consider studying for a trade test.

If I might make a suggestion, perhaps you could try looking for a job or a new assignment on your own.

I hope my answer will be of some help to you.

I hope the world and I can show you some love.

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Elizabeth Elizabeth A total of 3398 people have been helped

I get it. As a housewife, you're responsible for taking care of your family and children, but at the same time, you may feel a sense of monotony, helplessness, and lack of self-worth. Here are some suggestions to help you get out of your current situation:

It might be helpful to seek psychological support. You could consider seeing a counselor or joining a postpartum support group. This professional support can help you better understand and cope with your emotions, as well as provide practical advice and strategies.

It's important to communicate with your husband. Talk to him about your feelings and needs. He's busy at work, but he should also care about the harmony of the family and your happiness.

It's important to find a balance that works for both of you. This way, he can be more involved in family life and the kids' growth after work.

Expand your social circle. You can stay connected with the outside world through social media and online group chats, even though you spend most of your time at home. Find people with similar interests to share your life experiences and feelings with.

It's a great idea to develop your interests. When your kids are asleep or your husband is home, why not try something new, like reading, painting, or handicrafts? These activities are not only relaxing, but they'll also boost your self-worth.

It's also a great idea to learn new things. You can use online learning resources to pick up new skills and knowledge. This will help you stay connected to society and might even set you up for future career development.

Get involved in your community. If you can, get involved in your community or volunteer. It'll give you a chance to get out of the house and meet new people.

Take care of your health. Make sure you're in good shape, exercise regularly, eat a sensible diet, and get enough sleep. Good health is the foundation for coping with life's challenges.

And don't forget that being a housewife doesn't mean your life is pointless. Your dedication and hard work are key to your family's happiness and your kids' development.

Think about changing your mindset to find ways to improve your quality of life and sense of self-worth.

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Gervase Gervase A total of 870 people have been helped

I am also a senior housewife and have experienced this stage, so I understand it very well. It is not easy to be a new mother, but it is also the most rewarding experience in the world!

You're facing the challenge of raising a young child, which is an amazing adventure! You're experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions, including joy, worry, helplessness, fatigue, and loneliness. The days are repetitive and trivial, and there is no effective support from family members. There may also be a lack of rest and sleep, which causes mental fatigue over the long term. This goes on day after day, and the feeling of helplessness grows deeper and deeper. It is therefore normal to have some confusion about your own sense of value. But you're doing great!

My mother once teased me, saying, "You long for it when it's not there, and when you're pregnant, you want it to be born as soon as possible. After it's born, you'll be wishing you could put it back in your tummy again." So you see, most people are not all-rounders. You've done an amazing job! You've managed to get through it on your own and take care of your baby and family well over the past year, which is already very impressive!

Now, when it comes to self-worth, well, that's a whole other story! From your question, I'm not sure if you chose to be a housewife or to have a career when you got married. Let me put it this way: we should take a moment to recall the circumstances and thoughts that led to the decision. And why did I choose this identity?

So what is the value of this identity? The answer is here! Now that the baby is one year old, we have also gained some parenting experience and should be able to spare some time from the daily chores to add some color to life!

You can expand your scope of activities and communicate more with the outside world. You should be willing to put some of your focus on yourself, get fit, learn ways to nourish your soul, expand your knowledge, and present a good appearance both inside and out. No matter what role you play in life, you can hold onto your core spirit!

If you are fragrant, that's right!

In addition, judging from the question, you should be a well-educated, sensible, capable person who is a little ambitious—and I think you are! The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a perennial problem for most people. Individuals have their own perceptions and ways of behaving, but you can work through these differences. It is not a matter of involving the bottom line or seeking common ground while reserving differences.

I don't know if you live together, but now that your child is older, it would be so great if she could lend a hand occasionally! That way, you can "let off some steam" or have some time alone with your husband.

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Eloise Perez Eloise Perez A total of 2437 people have been helped

Good day, question asker.

From your description, it is evident that you are experiencing a state of inner confusion and helplessness. However, you also possess the capacity to perceive this uncomfortable emotion and to confront it with courage.

You have indicated that your husband is a university professor, that you are the primary caregiver for your children, and that you are experiencing feelings of depression. Your husband is occupied with his professional responsibilities and lacks the time to interact with you. You are reluctant to burden your mother and are also navigating the complexities of your mother-in-law's involvement. You perceive yourself to be lacking in agency and influence, and you struggle to find meaning in your life. You are uncertain about how to adapt to these circumstances. Is that an accurate representation of your situation?

After reading your description, I empathize with your inner discomfort and recognize the significant contributions you have made to this family. I extend a warm embrace to you.

Intimacy necessitates resonance. Prolonged periods of dominance and submission in a relationship may result in discomfort. However, recognizing this can facilitate the initiation of change.

All problems can be viewed as potential resources, and we are adept at devising solutions to these problems. Based on your description of your emotional state, I would like to offer some advice that I hope will be beneficial.

Firstly, it is this author's personal recommendation that, in light of these feelings, we endeavor to learn how to adjust our state of mind. If the so-called meaning is perceived as meaningless, it is up to us to define it. We should prioritize activities that align with our interests, facilitate healing and personal growth, and instill a sense of value and purpose. We can engage in activities that align with our strengths and interests, which will enhance our confidence and resilience.

Secondly, it is imperative to develop effective communication skills. It is evident that you and your husband had a solid foundation for marriage initially. However, with the advent of children and the mounting pressures of your husband's work, communication between you has gradually diminished. This is a pivotal concern that requires immediate attention. It is therefore recommended that you learn to communicate effectively while simultaneously learning to express your feelings in a detached manner. A woman's most powerful tool is her ability to be coquettish and display vulnerability while also lowering certain expectations. This allows her to utilize others to fulfill her desires while also enabling them to meet her expectations.

In conclusion, it is imperative to learn to love oneself. Prior to assuming the roles of wife and mother, one was simply oneself. Therefore, from the moment this answer is read, it is my hope that you will respect your feelings, accept yourself, allow yourself to be brave, and pretend to love yourself. This is because one can only love and be loved if one learns to love oneself. If one does not love oneself, how can one ask others to love them?

Ultimately, each individual possesses intrinsic value and unique strengths and potential. As the adage suggests, the notion of purpose is subjective and is shaped by one's own perspective. When this realization emerges, it is crucial to shift from contemplation to action, initiating behaviors that elicit a sense of fulfillment. Despite my apprehension about embarking on a journey, I find solace in the simplicity of a stroll. This illustrates that taking incremental steps can also lead to significant progress. As long as one is determined and persists through challenges, breakthroughs can be achieved.

It is also recommended that those experiencing low mood engage with a mental health professional or undertake independent learning in the field of psychology, which may prove beneficial.

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Elsie Grace Hines Elsie Grace Hines A total of 1651 people have been helped

Hello! I'm a Heart Exploration coach. Don't be arrogant or make excuses.

You said you're a housewife with a one-year-old. Your husband works long hours and doesn't have time to help. Your mother and mother-in-law are also a burden. You feel trapped and have no life of your own. Is it becoming too dependent?

This isn't the life you want. What should you do?

It's hard being a new mom. Your child is young, you're still getting over your illness, your husband is busy, and you don't have anyone to turn to. It's tough, but you can get through it. Think about how valuable you are to your child. They need you. You can also grow with your child. Think about that.

Let me help you organize your thoughts.

1. Keep trying to improve yourself.

As a new mother, you spend most of your time taking care of your child. This makes it difficult for you to have a life of your own. You know this is a problem, which shows you still want time for yourself. Listen to your inner voice. When your child is older, you will have more time for yourself. You can read, write, focus on improving yourself, and work hard to improve yourself. A woman must know herself and understand what kind of life she wants. This will help her not lose herself, her family status, or her connection to society. Your husband will also see your dedication and participate in the family with you.

2. Make friends

You don't have to stay home every day. Take your child out to make friends. Don't stay home. Exercise, find friends, and do something fun every day.

3. Work to boost your self-confidence.

You're feeling anxious and confused because you lack confidence. You're trapped at home with your young child and can't be yourself. You've left the workplace and detached from society, so where's your confidence? A woman's confidence comes from believing in her abilities and affirming her value. A strong woman with a spirit of continuous learning can manage her life well. You're only temporarily returning to the home, and adjusting your mindset will help.

4. Stick to your hobbies.

Full-time mothers often give up their interests and hobbies to take care of their families. It's hard for a mother to take care of the children all day, so she doesn't have time for herself. The busier she is, the more she needs to pursue her own interests and hobbies. This is not just for herself, but also to find her own value. This is also the root problem of many housewives suffering from depression. Apart from taking care of the children, they have no other pursuits. Over time, they feel despair and feel that they cannot see any hope in life. This will not work. Therefore, I suggest that you persevere in your ideals and pursuits. Children will always grow up, and your dreams should not be sacrificed because of your family. Just be yourself and go after your dreams freely.

I hope this helps. If you want to talk more, you can contact me via my personal website. I'd love to hear from you.

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Colleen Colleen A total of 7574 people have been helped

Good morning, my name is Strawberry.

Housewives are engaged in a highly valuable endeavor, yet it is often dismissed by some as a menial "job." Those who have not experienced it may lack the necessary perspective. When women choose to become housewives, they often relinquish their careers, relationships, and personal freedoms.

The issue of emotional problems caused by being ignored is a significant concern.

In the questioner's family, a clear division of labor facilitates more organized and orderly family and economic operations. The questioner's husband is a university teacher, and the questioner has chosen to remain at home as a housewife, focusing more on family responsibilities and childcare.

This should be a happy and harmonious life, but the questioner is experiencing depressive symptoms, particularly in the postpartum period. The questioner's depressive moods are negatively affecting her normal state of mind, largely due to her husband's high workload and lack of time to provide care.

During the challenging period, the questioner drew upon her own resources to navigate the situation. She believes that the most difficult days are behind her and that she will gradually resume her previous level of functioning and reclaim the positive outlook she held prior to becoming a mother.

The significant contributions of housewives

Over the course of the year, the questioner found that she was unable to revert to the previous situation, and often even experienced feelings of helplessness. These negative thoughts have caused internal conflict, suppressing her self-confidence and preventing her from identifying her own value.

As a housewife, I can attest to the feelings of helplessness that often accompany this transition. We evolve from girls to women and then to mothers. Throughout this process, we must accept and adapt to the changes in our identity. Along the way, we assume a greater number of responsibilities that we cannot avoid or ignore.

By prioritizing family, we have relinquished numerous privileges and committed to supporting our partners in their endeavors, working and contributing towards a unified objective. Contrary to popular belief, housewives are not the epitome of ease or worthlessness. A harmonious and welcoming home provides a nurturing environment for those away from home to thrive. Achieving this harmony and warmth is a challenge many families face, and this is where housewives excel.

What steps should be taken to improve my current situation?

Housewives are susceptible to feelings of helplessness, uncertainty, and anxiety due to the way others perceive them. When others have a negative opinion of housewives and doubt their contributions, they fall into the trap set by others.

☀️Transform Perception: As housewives, we have traditionally been perceived as contributors, despite the immeasurable value of our contributions. If the husband also believes that the primary contributor is the highest earner, it can lead to the housewife's contributions being overlooked.

This misperception has led many women to seek alternative roles outside the traditional housewife role, seeking to demonstrate their value through work. However, housewives can also prove their value. Children do not grow up in isolation, and a tidy and clean home is not a given. These daily contributions are also part of the work equation.

If the questioner requires a financial measure of their own efforts to gain a sense of accomplishment, they can discuss with their partner the market value of their efforts and request compensation. Once they have received the agreed-upon remuneration, the questioner can then utilize it at their discretion.

It is understandable that the husband is busy at work during the week. However, it is important to ensure that work does not take up all of his time and neglect the family. It is also necessary to arrange your time reasonably to ensure that the relationship between husband and wife is not affected.

The questioner can take the initiative and make plans to enhance their quality of life. When her husband is at work, she can arrange for herself to engage in some small activities to ensure she remains connected to society and maintains her interpersonal relationships at home. She can meet with friends. Despite their children being young, they can select an appropriate environment to meet.

It is recommended that family outings be arranged for your little family from time to time. The time can be arranged freely, and you can go when you are free, no matter how far away it is, as long as it is a nearby attraction. In such parent-child interactions, the relationship between you and your spouse can be enhanced, and you can relax together. This is also beneficial for your child's physical and mental growth.

Affirm yourself against the fear of others' comments on you, anxiety that others can't see your hard work, and the feeling that your emotions are more affected by others' behavior and mannerisms. When you care too much about what others think of you, you cannot recognize and affirm yourself.

If we are unable to affirm our abilities and recognize our efforts, it is challenging to accept the role of a housewife. The Courage to Be Disliked is a recommended resource for the questioner. Regardless of circumstances, we need courage to face our choices and disregard external opinions.

In these accusations, it can also be said that they are jealous because they cannot have the same life. They have the freedom to live their lives at their own pace, which allows them to enjoy a more fulfilling and beautiful life.

I hope my response is helpful to the individual who posed the question. I wish you the best of luck!

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Comments

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Dominique Thomas Maturity is achieved when a person accepts life as full of tension.

I understand how you feel. It's tough being a new mom and feeling isolated. Maybe we could look into joining some local parenting groups where you can meet other moms in similar situations and share experiences.

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Sebastian Miller If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything.

It sounds like you've been carrying a heavy load all by yourself. Have you considered talking to your husband during his less busy moments, maybe suggesting a weekly date night or even just a short walk together to reconnect?

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Quinn Jackson The art of learning is to be able to synthesize different pieces of knowledge.

Life can feel very confined when you're home with a baby all day. Perhaps exploring parttime work or hobbies that interest you might help bring a sense of self back. Even online courses could offer a way to grow personally while managing your family duties.

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Isabella Jackson The essence of growth is to see ourselves as works in progress and love the journey.

Your feelings are valid and it's important not to suppress them. Seeking professional support from a counselor can provide an outlet for your emotions and strategies to improve your wellbeing. Sometimes having someone to talk to makes all the difference.

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Lawrence Davis Life is a rainbow of emotions.

It's heartbreaking to feel unsupported by your family. If possible, try reaching out to friends or community services for support. They might be able to offer respite care or advice on managing the daily challenges of raising a child alone.

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