Good morning, my name is Strawberry.
Housewives are engaged in a highly valuable endeavor, yet it is often dismissed by some as a menial "job." Those who have not experienced it may lack the necessary perspective. When women choose to become housewives, they often relinquish their careers, relationships, and personal freedoms.
The issue of emotional problems caused by being ignored is a significant concern.
In the questioner's family, a clear division of labor facilitates more organized and orderly family and economic operations. The questioner's husband is a university teacher, and the questioner has chosen to remain at home as a housewife, focusing more on family responsibilities and childcare.
This should be a happy and harmonious life, but the questioner is experiencing depressive symptoms, particularly in the postpartum period. The questioner's depressive moods are negatively affecting her normal state of mind, largely due to her husband's high workload and lack of time to provide care.
During the challenging period, the questioner drew upon her own resources to navigate the situation. She believes that the most difficult days are behind her and that she will gradually resume her previous level of functioning and reclaim the positive outlook she held prior to becoming a mother.
The significant contributions of housewives
Over the course of the year, the questioner found that she was unable to revert to the previous situation, and often even experienced feelings of helplessness. These negative thoughts have caused internal conflict, suppressing her self-confidence and preventing her from identifying her own value.
As a housewife, I can attest to the feelings of helplessness that often accompany this transition. We evolve from girls to women and then to mothers. Throughout this process, we must accept and adapt to the changes in our identity. Along the way, we assume a greater number of responsibilities that we cannot avoid or ignore.
By prioritizing family, we have relinquished numerous privileges and committed to supporting our partners in their endeavors, working and contributing towards a unified objective. Contrary to popular belief, housewives are not the epitome of ease or worthlessness. A harmonious and welcoming home provides a nurturing environment for those away from home to thrive. Achieving this harmony and warmth is a challenge many families face, and this is where housewives excel.
What steps should be taken to improve my current situation?
Housewives are susceptible to feelings of helplessness, uncertainty, and anxiety due to the way others perceive them. When others have a negative opinion of housewives and doubt their contributions, they fall into the trap set by others.
☀️Transform Perception: As housewives, we have traditionally been perceived as contributors, despite the immeasurable value of our contributions. If the husband also believes that the primary contributor is the highest earner, it can lead to the housewife's contributions being overlooked.
This misperception has led many women to seek alternative roles outside the traditional housewife role, seeking to demonstrate their value through work. However, housewives can also prove their value. Children do not grow up in isolation, and a tidy and clean home is not a given. These daily contributions are also part of the work equation.
If the questioner requires a financial measure of their own efforts to gain a sense of accomplishment, they can discuss with their partner the market value of their efforts and request compensation. Once they have received the agreed-upon remuneration, the questioner can then utilize it at their discretion.
It is understandable that the husband is busy at work during the week. However, it is important to ensure that work does not take up all of his time and neglect the family. It is also necessary to arrange your time reasonably to ensure that the relationship between husband and wife is not affected.
The questioner can take the initiative and make plans to enhance their quality of life. When her husband is at work, she can arrange for herself to engage in some small activities to ensure she remains connected to society and maintains her interpersonal relationships at home. She can meet with friends. Despite their children being young, they can select an appropriate environment to meet.
It is recommended that family outings be arranged for your little family from time to time. The time can be arranged freely, and you can go when you are free, no matter how far away it is, as long as it is a nearby attraction. In such parent-child interactions, the relationship between you and your spouse can be enhanced, and you can relax together. This is also beneficial for your child's physical and mental growth.
Affirm yourself against the fear of others' comments on you, anxiety that others can't see your hard work, and the feeling that your emotions are more affected by others' behavior and mannerisms. When you care too much about what others think of you, you cannot recognize and affirm yourself.
If we are unable to affirm our abilities and recognize our efforts, it is challenging to accept the role of a housewife. The Courage to Be Disliked is a recommended resource for the questioner. Regardless of circumstances, we need courage to face our choices and disregard external opinions.
In these accusations, it can also be said that they are jealous because they cannot have the same life. They have the freedom to live their lives at their own pace, which allows them to enjoy a more fulfilling and beautiful life.
I hope my response is helpful to the individual who posed the question. I wish you the best of luck!
Comments
I understand how you feel. It's tough being a new mom and feeling isolated. Maybe we could look into joining some local parenting groups where you can meet other moms in similar situations and share experiences.
It sounds like you've been carrying a heavy load all by yourself. Have you considered talking to your husband during his less busy moments, maybe suggesting a weekly date night or even just a short walk together to reconnect?
Life can feel very confined when you're home with a baby all day. Perhaps exploring parttime work or hobbies that interest you might help bring a sense of self back. Even online courses could offer a way to grow personally while managing your family duties.
Your feelings are valid and it's important not to suppress them. Seeking professional support from a counselor can provide an outlet for your emotions and strategies to improve your wellbeing. Sometimes having someone to talk to makes all the difference.
It's heartbreaking to feel unsupported by your family. If possible, try reaching out to friends or community services for support. They might be able to offer respite care or advice on managing the daily challenges of raising a child alone.