How can college students improve their communication skills, especially with the opposite gender, and always feel nervous?

It's hard to feel isolated. Past experiences may have caused trauma, making you feel insecure and worried about relationships.

You seem unable to look people in the eye and feel nervous. As a university student, you need to face a lot of people and deal with relationships. You need to face many students and people from other colleges.

If you're not good at socializing, you may have problems with relationships. If you don't communicate, it will be difficult for you. You also have concerns about the opposite sex and troubles. Past experiences may still impact you.

Your feelings are so obvious that others can tell just by looking at you. It's time to do something. When you're afraid to make eye contact, are you thinking about something, worried that the other person will judge you?

Those times when I was mocked and isolated by others have long passed, but they seem to be still vivid in my mind. Other people's mockery hurts. We must also deal with these hurts, seek help, let ourselves vent, think about the past, and tell ourselves that now is now, that you have new decisions and changes to make, and at the same time, we can also talk about our feelings. I wish you well.

ZQ?

May I offer you comfort in your anxiety, fear, and helplessness?

Firstly, it is important to accept your current state of mind. This state is related to your previous experiences and also to your accumulated environment and personality. It cannot be changed overnight. It is essential to be patient and accept yourself.

Secondly, it would be beneficial to try to move on from past hurts. I understand it is challenging, but it is worth attempting.

It's understandable to feel anxious about the possibility of a similar situation occurring again. However, it's important to recognize that more than ten years have passed, and the people and circumstances you face today are unaware of your past experiences and unable to control them.

It's possible that the boy or teacher you're dealing with may have experienced something similar when they were young that made them feel embarrassed or even more awkward. However, they have already accepted and overcome it. Every day is a new opportunity to be the best version of yourself, not a repeat of the state you were in ten years ago.

Third, you may wish to consider forgiving those who hurt you in elementary school. This can be a challenging step, but it can help you look past the past and encourage and accept yourself more.

In this life, you may face challenges that are more complex than what you are currently experiencing. It's important to remember that you cannot dwell on past experiences and miss out on the opportunities that the present and future hold. You are still a university student, in the prime of your life, and there is still so much waiting for you to be released, enjoyed, and created.

I hope these words can be of some help to you. Come on. Personal public account: A Young Person Acting Like a Fake (ID: qingnianJIA2020), looking forward to maintaining communication with you.

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My dear, I'm here for you, and I'm hugging you!

I'm really sorry for what the original poster went through as a child. It's so sad that it's affected him now. When we were young, we were all vulnerable and at risk of being hurt.

Some wounds are directly engraved into the bone, and it is really tough to let go for the rest of your life. I'm giving you a big hug again, hoping to give you some comfort.

When I was young, I often had a runny nose, and the boys teased me, calling me "snot girl." And because I had heavy body hair, they called me "orangutan."

At the time, it had a very serious emotional impact on me, but I'm happy to say that I gradually let go of it.

Now that I think about it, those experiences are actually all part of our childhood, and they're totally normal!

It's often said that children's words don't hurt, and that naughty kids just want to have fun and find the funny side of things.

They're just looking for ways to have fun and find the funny side of other people's quirks.

And the more the person being teased is afraid and avoids it, the more the teaser will tease.

Back then, I just ignored these people and focused on my studies. I was really lucky because my grades were always in the top of the class!

These kids, bless their hearts, they just don't dare laugh at me anymore. Later on, they grew up, and when we occasionally meet up for reunions,

And they'll tease about the past, turning it into childhood memories.

We've all changed so much since we were students! Some of us have changed quite a bit, while others have stayed pretty much the same.

If we stay stuck in the past, we'll only hurt ourselves.

The landlord was really hurt by the experience of being teased by those naughty children. It's only by facing up to it and dealing with it that he'll be able to move on.

I know it can be tough, but I'm here to tell you that only by letting go of that heavy burden will you feel at ease and relieved.

1. Let go of the burden and pull out the arrow in your body, my friend.

It's possible that those who hurt you have forgotten about it all.

And it's only the host who still remembers these things clearly and has been carrying these wounds until now.

It's as if the arrow that was shot at the host is still carried forward.

From this moment on, the host, who has realized this, tries to slowly pull the arrows out of his body.

It's totally normal to feel a bit uncomfortable when you first start unplugging. But I promise you, it'll get easier with time!

2. Do the things you are afraid of to boost your self-confidence!

It's totally normal to still be a little nervous about making eye contact with the opposite sex. It's likely that you've been feeling this way since childhood. The good news is that you can start to overcome this fear by facing your fears and doing things you've never done before. You're already an adult in terms of your body and appearance, but you still have that timid child inside you. The best way to help this child grow up is to face your fears and look directly into the eyes of the opposite sex.

It's totally normal to feel nervous the first time, but I promise you'll get more comfortable with it each time. You'll be amazed at how quickly you'll gain confidence!

3. Don't worry about what others think. Be brave and be yourself!

No matter how many flaws the host has, he or she is also unique in the world, and there is no one else like you. You are perfectly imperfect, and that's a beautiful thing!

You know, no one else really hurt you, only yourself. I can imagine the landlord's mind is still recalling the embarrassing scene from the beginning, scaring himself.

I know it can feel like people nowadays will also laugh at you, but I promise you they don't know what happened to you.

Even if people think that way now, as long as the host doesn't care, it's totally fine!

Don't worry about what others think! Be brave and be yourself, and let others talk.

I really hope the hostess can slowly change herself and become a more beautiful and confident girl!

I'm Warm June, and I just want to say that I love you all so much!

Hi, I'm Shen Huixin, a certified psychological counselor on the Yi Xinli platform.

From what you've told me, it seems that the frustration of interpersonal interactions you experienced as a child has caused you to be nervous and lack confidence when dealing with men. I'm sorry you had this experience. What those who bullied/isolated your classmates did was very wrong. It's not your fault for experiencing this, and no one should be treated like this.

We all have psychological and emotional needs for social interaction, and good social interaction is an important foundation for maintaining our physical and mental health. It seems that the situation you've presented has affected your normal social life, and this does need to be dealt with actively. You've made a great choice in coming to Yi Xinli for help.

It's possible that your current social difficulties are related to your experiences as a child, but could there be other reasons too? For example, did your parents provide enough support when you faced setbacks? What were your thoughts after these setbacks, and how did they gradually affect your current situation?

This involves some key factors like psychological-behavioral coping strategies, gender-growth context, and family environment. You can think about these perspectives some more or find someone you trust to chat with and figure things out. This will definitely help you change the current situation.

Take some time to explore, understand, and take care of yourself. Best wishes!