Greetings, inquirer.
My name is Liu, and I am here to listen.
Let me extend to you a gesture of physical affection.
"How can we avoid anxiety/how-can-excessive-social-comparison-be-avoided-19618.html" target="_blank">social comparison?" This is a highly pertinent question for discussion, and I have carefully considered your question statement.
Indeed, the contemporary human experience is one of accelerated living, characterized by a relentless pursuit of goals and a tendency to overlook the nuances of the journey. While the destination may be a source of happiness, the process itself also plays a pivotal role in determining the level of contentment one experiences. However, in the modern age, we have become so preoccupied with reaching our goals that we often fail to recognize the importance of pausing and appreciating the journey itself.
Anxiety, stemming from the fear of failure, can impede our ability to fully embrace happiness. This is particularly evident in the context of social comparison, where individuals tend to compare their achievements and experiences with those of others, leading to feelings of inadequacy and a distorted perception of their own capabilities.
Firstly, it is important to recognise that happiness is not a competition. As a subjective experience that is continuous and personal, the acquisition of positive feelings does not come from "comparison." Indeed, excessive social comparison has been shown to deepen feelings of anxiety and depression, which are not conducive to mental health.
It is a natural human tendency to pursue personal goals. In the process of achieving these goals, individuals often experience a sense of personal strength and well-being, which can contribute to feelings of happiness. However, in some instances, individuals may engage in a form of happiness competition, attempting to prove their superiority in terms of happiness by highlighting differences between themselves and others.
Consequently, it is a common misconception that happiness is derived from comparison. In the past, I frequently encountered individuals who espoused the view that if one is not currently happy, it is beneficial to consider those who are even less fortunate. The rationale behind this is that by comparing oneself to these individuals, one experiences a sense of improvement in one's own circumstances. Initially, I was persuaded by this line of reasoning. However, upon reflection, I came to share the same reservations as many others.
Subsequently, during my studies in psychology, I was informed by one of my instructors that in our professional interactions with clients, it is unadvisable to offer such advice or solace. My instructor posited that this form of "comparative comfort" does not necessarily signify a genuine comprehension and acceptance of the circumstances of others and ourselves.
I have gradually come to recognize that each individual's circumstances are unique, and that the experience of pain and happiness are inherently distinct and should not be directly compared. This concept can be illustrated by the following analogy: Imagine a person experiencing the agony of thirst in a parched desert, with only half a cup of water to sustain them. In such a situation, suggesting that they consider another desert where many people lack access to water is akin to comparing two distinct forms of suffering.
Does this kind of comparison genuinely enhance the well-being of the individual in question?
Similarly, with regard to the state of happiness, it can be argued that comparison does not necessarily lead to a state of happiness.
Secondly, how did we gradually adopt a fast-paced, anxious lifestyle as a result of social comparisons?
(1) When "comparison" and "happiness" are linked, an obsession with maintaining a constant, unwavering pace is born.
The wisdom of our ancestors teaches us that there are mountains beyond the mountain and people beyond the people. This implies that there is an endless cycle of comparison. In this world, there are so many people, and we must treat ourselves with a sense of comparison. We will always be the ones who are lagging behind. However, competition in life has never stopped. As you said, from the beginning of our studies, we must strive to be at the top of our class. After we start working, we may also hear our elders expect us to be the best. After that, we need to improve our material standards as soon as possible.
The prevailing social narrative is that everyone is striving to advance and that those who falter will be left behind. This fear of being left behind can lead individuals to forego aspects of their lives, and they may feel compelled to conform to certain standards in order to be perceived as happy by others.
In this section, it can be observed that there is a tendency for individuals to internalize the projections of others.
(2) It appears that we are losing our way at an increasingly rapid pace.
(2) It appears that we are losing our way at an increasingly rapid pace.
The phenomenon of comparison can be attributed to our innate desires. It is evident that competition, in moderation, can be beneficial. It can drive societal development. However, excessive social comparison and a lack of tolerance for personal shortcomings can lead to feelings of anxiety and worry. The fast pace of modern life often leaves little time for reflection. Individuals may find themselves following the expectations of their parents or other significant figures without fully understanding their own desires. As they mature and gain independence, they may realize that their aspirations and their desired identity are not aligned. This discrepancy can lead to confusion and misguided decisions.
3. In response to the questions you have posed, I offer the following suggestions, which are based on my personal opinions and intended for your consideration.
It may be beneficial to engage in introspective dialogue to identify the underlying sources of apprehension associated with a perceived decline in one's pace of life.
The fast-paced modern lifestyle and the constant pressure to engage in social comparisons can be exhausting. Conversely, there is a complex psychological phenomenon that arises when individuals choose to slow down. Some individuals experience restlessness even when they are resting, and they may even feel guilty about this restlessness, fearing that it will disappoint themselves and catastrophizing about what will happen next.
Consequently, when confronted with the necessity of achieving one's objectives, the capacity to concentrate is compromised, and the conviction that one is inadequate as a result of comparisons becomes entrenched. This has the effect of lowering one's self-evaluation, and when the optimal period for recuperation and repose should be observed, the individual is instead restless and unable to relax adequately. Ultimately, this has an impact on one's sense of happiness.
This is an indication of one's character. In order to heal oneself, it is necessary to analyse the root causes of these situations. Each individual has their own experiences, and some past experiences can even be traumatic. By reflecting on the past once more, one can nurture the wounded inner child and attempt to identify the psychological issues behind the fear, which will help one to better understand and accept oneself. One can engage in some self-writing and self-dialogue, or read books related to the subject, which may be of assistance. I would recommend the book "Enduring Happiness" to you.
(2) One must cease the practice of comparison and instead recognize the inherent power of the self.
One must not live for others.
Humans are inherently independent beings.
Each individual has a unique timeframe for personal growth. It is essential to allow oneself the necessary time to evolve. Perceptions of happiness vary from person to person. While it may not be feasible to alter the beliefs of one's parents and grandparents, it is possible to establish one's own life compass, a process that demands considerable courage. In fact, charting a unique course in life is more challenging than merely following the prevailing trends or meeting the expectations of others.
It is therefore possible to take a moment to identify one's true inner desires. This brief period of reflection will not result in a lag in progress relative to one's past self. Only by identifying one's heart's desire can one ensure a resounding and powerful pace of growth.
One may attempt to articulate one's "longing" and identify potential avenues for its fulfillment. Should this prove challenging, it may be beneficial to engage in discourse with a qualified psychological practitioner to elucidate and address one's sentiments.
(3) Discovering one's own pace may facilitate a more profound sense of self-fulfillment.
(3) Discovering one's own rhythm may facilitate a more optimal sense of self-fulfillment.
The perception of the pace of life varies from person to person. The adage "what suits you is the best" is a fitting description of this phenomenon. It is this author's opinion that both a fast-paced life and a slow-paced life can present challenges. The key to navigating these challenges is to find a sense of balance. It should be noted that individuals may have different opinions on this matter.
One may formulate minor plans for one's life, such as incorporating physical activity or meditation into one's routine, and when time allows, one may seek proximity to nature. While achievements are significant, it is also crucial to perceive the nuances of one's existence.
When individuals are permitted to work and rest at their own pace, they may gradually come to recognize their self-worth.
This concludes my response.
I would like to express my gratitude to all those who have read this text.
I extend my best wishes to you.
I am a licensed psychologist at Yi Xinli.
Please do not hesitate to contact me should you require any further information or clarification.
Comments
I think the fastpaced life can be both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, it pushes us to achieve more and reach higher goals, which can be very fulfilling. On the other hand, it often leaves little room for personal growth and reflection, which are crucial for true selfrealization.
In my view, a slower pace allows us to focus on what's really important in life. It gives us the chance to listen to our inner voice and understand our true desires. Without this, we might just be chasing after things that society deems valuable but don't necessarily align with our own aspirations.
A fastpaced lifestyle seems to equate success with busyness. But I wonder if this is truly beneficial for selfrealization. Sometimes slowing down can actually help us become more creative and productive in the long run because we're not just reacting but acting with purpose.
I believe balance is key. A fastpaced life isn't inherently bad, but it's important to make time for moments of stillness. These pauses can offer clarity and direction, helping us to better align our actions with our core values and ambitions.
To me, the fear of slowing down is rooted in societal pressures. We're taught to equate worth with productivity. Yet, when we take the time to slow down, we might find that our greatest insights come during these quiet moments, leading to deeper selfawareness and personal development.