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How can excessive social comparison be avoided?

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How can excessive social comparison be avoided? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

Ever since we were at school, it seems that our generation has been afraid that slowing down will make us lose our competitive edge, and that even taking a breather will make us fear being left behind.

But the number of anxious and depressed people is increasing, and this fast pace narrows the breadth of life, leaving us no time to think about what we really need. Everyone is just trying to get by.

When we really slow down, we worry that a slow-paced life will be too comfortable, preventing us from fulfilling our lofty ambitions and achieving our goals.

What do you think? Do you think a fast-paced life is conducive or not conducive to self-realization?

Lawrence Lawrence A total of 8232 people have been helped

Hello, my name is Zeyu, and I'm happy to be here!

It's all about finding the right standards for ourselves. That's how we can avoid excessive social comparison.

As the original poster said, "Ever since we were at school, it seems that our generation has been told that if we slow down, we will lose our competitive advantage, and that if we take a break, we will be afraid of being left behind..." It's so important to ask ourselves, what are we really competing for? What are we striving for?

This is something we really need to think about and explore. "In today's society, if you don't strive for it, you won't get a good school, a good major, a future, and a good career..." It seems like a fair enough statement, but deep down we feel that something is wrong.

Competition is all about seeking further personal development, but we all have different needs and different levels of ambition. So, these statements might seem a little extreme to some people.

It's important to remember that everyone is different. What works for some might not work for others. That's okay! We all have different needs and ways of doing things. Anxiety and depression are real issues that can affect anyone, regardless of how fast or slow their pace of life is. It's not about rushing or slowing down. It's about finding what works for you and sticking to it. Self-realization and other forms of personal growth aren't impulsive. They're about taking care of yourself and achieving your life goals. But, to do that, you need to find your own rhythm. If you don't have clear goals and a plan, you might feel like you're just going with the flow. But, that can also lead to feeling overwhelmed or stuck. No matter how fast or slow your pace is, it's important to remember that you don't have to push yourself too hard. You don't have to fit into a certain mold. You just need to find what works for you and stick to it.

It's so important to avoid excessive social comparison! We need to understand the difference between wants and needs, and distinguish between what we can get and what we can get through hard work. Then we can adjust our state and pursue the things we desire at our own pace. In this process, we don't need to compare ourselves with others, we just need to surpass our previous selves. By setting appropriate goals and making corresponding plans, we will eventually achieve our expectations!

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Kaiden Michael Burgess Kaiden Michael Burgess A total of 4 people have been helped

Good day. I am Yang Yiqing, a listening coach and doctoral candidate in computer science. I am deeply moved by your inquiry. Indeed, in the contemporary era, it appears that everyone is in a state of haste.

In a fast-paced environment, it is often assumed that if one is not as fast as others, they will fall behind. This was one of the motivations for pursuing a doctorate – to enhance my qualifications.

However, during the course of pursuing my doctoral degree, I discovered that an unrelenting pace of life can lead to feelings of mental and physical fatigue, as well as internal conflict and emotional distress. Concurrently, I gained a deeper understanding of myself and realized the necessity of allowing for periods of rest and reflection to replenish my energy and resilience in the face of external pressures and competition.

The question of how to achieve a balance between a fast-paced life and self-realization is a common one in modern society. As a psychotherapist, I do not believe that there is a single answer that suits all situations. However, I can provide some perspectives and suggestions to help you better understand this issue.

First, it is irrefutable that a fast-paced life does offer some significant benefits, such as increased efficiency, the capacity to achieve goals expeditiously, and the ability to respond promptly to change and challenges. This lifestyle may be requisite in certain circumstances, particularly at specific stages of a career or in particular work environments.

Nevertheless, an excessively fast pace of life can also have adverse effects. Prolonged stress and a fast pace of life can precipitate the onset of anxiety, depression, fatigue, and other health problems.

Such a lifestyle can also deprive individuals of the time to engage in contemplative reflection, thereby impeding their ability to explore their inner needs and long-term goals in depth.

I. The importance of balancing and adjusting one's pace of life

1. It is essential to achieve a balance between one's personal and professional lives. This necessitates the conscious adjustment of one's pace of life, ensuring that one can maintain competitiveness while preserving one's physical and mental health and personal growth.

2. It is erroneous to assume that a fast pace is synonymous with efficiency or success. In fact, there is evidence to suggest that slowing down to reflect, plan and recharge can enhance creativity, productivity and fulfilment.

II. The Path to Self-Actualization

1. Self-actualization can be defined as a process of exploring one's potential and achieving one's goals. It is a multifaceted concept that necessitates a combination of motivation, effort, reflection, and personal growth.

2. While a fast-paced lifestyle may facilitate the achievement of concrete goals in a relatively short period of time, the deeper aspects of self-actualization—including the exploration of personal values, the cultivation of creativity, and an understanding of the deeper meaning of life—may necessitate a slower pace and more time for reflection.

The following books are recommended for those seeking to explore different aspects of self-fulfillment and achieve a state of balance in their lives:

1. In Praise of Slowness, Carl Honore

This book examines the "slow culture movement," which urges individuals to reassess their perception of time and advocates a more conscious and balanced lifestyle.

2. Deep Work, by Carl Newport

The book puts forth a methodology for work that emphasizes the enhancement of efficiency and personal satisfaction through concentrated and comprehensive work in a context of numerous distractions.

3. Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown

This book proposes a more selective and focused lifestyle, which enables readers to identify the most important tasks and goals and to concentrate on what is truly significant.

These books can provide different perspectives and strategies to assist readers in achieving a balance between fast-paced and slow living, and in making progress on the path to self-realization. It is important to remember that finding a rhythm and a way of working that suits the individual is an ongoing process of discovery. The key to success is to understand one's needs, remain flexible, and maintain an open mind.

I am a listener, Yang Yiqing. Life presents challenges, and each step is worthy of celebration. May we proceed together.

Please do not hesitate to contact me should you require further assistance.

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Brooklyn Rose Howard Brooklyn Rose Howard A total of 396 people have been helped

I hope my response proves helpful to you.

This is an excellent question, one that many individuals are actively considering. It is also a question with universal relevance. I appreciate you asking this question. Allow me to share some of my insights on the matter.

1. Slow is fast.

Indeed, there is a common perception that speed is the key to success and an efficient lifestyle. However, after studying psychology, I came to understand that slow and steady can often be faster than fast and furious. Many individuals may appear to be fast on the surface, but their actions often reveal a different story. For instance, some children excel in their studies in the early grades, but this is often due to external pressure from their parents. As they progress to later grades, this pressure often dissipates, leading to a decline in their academic performance and a deterioration in the parent-child relationship. This apparent speed is, in fact, a form of slow.

Some children may initially struggle with their studies in the early years of primary school. However, with patient guidance from their parents, who accept their current level and provide them with firm encouragement and support, they can develop a sense of ownership in their studies and become interested in learning. By the time they reach the later years of primary school, they can manage their studies well on their own, and because they have made progress step by step through their own efforts, they become more and more confident and interested in learning. Conversely, as they progress in their studies, their grades improve, and they also develop a strong ability to withstand setbacks, so that they can continue to have confidence in their studies even when their grades fluctuate. This kind of slow pace is actually a kind of fast pace.

It is important to note that happiness derived from suppression and control is not a sustainable form of happiness. Many mental illnesses have their roots in individuals neglecting themselves and suppressing their emotions and feelings. In pursuit of temporary happiness, individuals may sacrifice their health, lose their enthusiasm for life, and gradually lose interest in work. This approach to happiness is not aligned with our recommendations. We advocate for a different approach: slowing down, allowing time for growth, relaxation, and accumulation. When individuals reach a certain level of stability, they can flourish and achieve lasting vitality, rather than a transient success.

2. It is first necessary to ascertain our true requirements. In order to do so, we must slow down and calm down, so that we can see clearly.

It is crucial to understand that the most important aspect of life is not to compete with others, but to be true to oneself. If we are not aware of our genuine needs, we may find ourselves caught up in a cycle of competition with others, which may not align with our true aspirations.

I have observed numerous instances where individuals in their forties, fifties, or even sixties and seventies have come to recognize that their true aspirations lie not in competing with others, but in pursuing their passions and embracing their authentic selves. However, due to the demands of their professional lives, they often lacked the time and opportunity to reflect on these desires. It was only when they reached retirement age and had more personal autonomy that they were able to slow down, take stock of their lives, and identify their core needs.

I consider myself fortunate to have begun slowing down and calming down in my thirties. This was also when I ceased concerning myself with unnecessary complexity and external noise. Instead, I asked myself repeatedly what I truly wanted and what the purpose of life was.

Through these self-reflections, I was able to identify a solution that aligned with my personal and professional goals: I could continue to grow while also fulfilling my responsibilities as a family member. This led me to pursue a career in psychology, where I could utilize my skills as a counselor. I was able to identify my true calling and find fulfillment in my work. Currently, I am engaged in a role that aligns with my interests and abilities. Despite the demanding nature of the work, I find it rewarding and never feel overwhelmed. I view this as a source of nourishment, rather than exhaustion.

Others may perceive me as highly efficient and as someone who works quickly. However, this is simply a result of my ability to identify and utilize the most effective methods for achieving my goals. This approach does not create undue pressure but rather allows me to excel in tasks that align with my strengths and interests.

3. A balance between speed and slowness may be more conducive to achieving our personal and professional goals.

Everyone has a need for self-realization. To walk the path of self-realization or to continue walking vibrantly for a long time requires a combination of "fast" and "slow." From a brain mechanisms perspective, we humans need a balance of work and rest. This means achieving a balance between the "sympathetic nervous system" and the "parasympathetic nervous system." If we are always in a fast-paced environment, our sympathetic nervous system will become overactive, and we will become too tense. This will lead to physical problems in the long run. Therefore, we need to relax appropriately. Whether we are children or adults, it is best to set aside one hour every day for relaxation. This could be spent taking a walk, looking at the scenery, chatting, drinking tea, or listening to music. In fact, people who can relax will be more productive and more creative.

Furthermore, it is important to note that having no goals at all is not an option. It is essential to set our own ideals, which serve as a reflection of our value and provide us with hope and motivation. My approach involves establishing a comprehensive ideal and then breaking it down into phased goals. These phased goals are then broken down into specific, actionable, and achievable daily tasks that align with our abilities and current efforts.

By taking this approach, we can achieve our ambitious goals in a sustainable manner. Each step brings us closer to our desired outcome, providing a sense of accomplishment and hope along the way. Additionally, this method allows us to avoid burnout by aligning our goals with our current capabilities. It also eliminates the need to compare ourselves to others, as we focus on our unique pace and rhythm.

Please refer to the above for further information. Best regards,

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Blair Jameson Frost Blair Jameson Frost A total of 8871 people have been helped

Since childhood, members of this generation have been informed that if they reduce their pace, they will lose their competitive advantage and that they should never cease striving for fear of being left behind.

For individuals who are introverted, this may be a challenge that is encountered during their formative years and is likely to be experienced differently across different historical periods, given the varying expectations and standards that are placed upon them.

It is essential to learn to relax at the appropriate time, thereby alleviating tension without falling behind others in terms of progress or causing harm to one's emotional state.

Nevertheless, there is a growing prevalence of anxiety and depression. This accelerated pace of life has constrained the scope of our experiences, leaving us with insufficient time to reflect on our fundamental needs. In this environment, individuals are merely striving to maintain their basic functioning.

Historically, there has been a prevalence of anxiety and depression, yet there was a lack of awareness surrounding these issues. The advent of modernity has brought about a shift in this regard, with individuals becoming more conscious of their emotional state and the importance of physical and mental wellbeing.

In a fast-paced situation, there is a loss of opportunities for self-reflection. However, the ability to engage in such reflection allows for a moment of pause, an opportunity to assess one's circumstances, and the capacity to plan for the future.

Once one truly slows down, there is a concern that a slower-paced lifestyle may be perceived as overly comfortable, potentially impeding the fulfillment of ambitious goals and the realization of desired outcomes.

In an era of rapid change, it is imperative to cultivate an understanding of one's own rhythm. Each individual possesses a unique rhythm, and there is no necessity to adhere to the pace set by others.

Individuals possess disparate personalities, objectives, aspirations, aptitudes, and capabilities, which consequently influence their pace of progress.

and achieve success and the end goal. It is important to note that individuals have varying needs and abilities, and thus, the pace at which they achieve success may differ. It is, therefore, essential to allow for periods of rest and recuperation when needed, to set personal goals, and to advance at a pace that is comfortable and sustainable for each individual.

What are your thoughts on the relationship between a fast-paced life and self-realization?

In the absence of self-reflection, a fast-paced lifestyle is not conducive to self-realization. This is because individuals lose sight of their own identity and instead align themselves with the definitions and opinions of others, which ultimately leads to the misalignment of their personal goals with their true aspirations.

When individuals possess self-awareness and employ effective planning, they can navigate a fast-paced environment in a manner that is conducive to self-realization.

The pivotal point is whether one employs the accelerated pace to advance with the objectives of others or with one's own objectives in mind.

Those who are the former type will experience a sense of pressure even if they are slower than others. Conversely, a fast pace may also be conducive to growth for those who are the latter type.

In my own experience, I have a preference for a slower pace.

However, when I observe individuals who are living at a fast pace and achieving their desired outcomes in advance of me, I experience a sense of envy and self-deprecation. Nevertheless, I typically regain my composure and regulate my emotions, ultimately opting to adhere to my intuitive inclinations.

The crucial point is that I achieve my desired outcome. I am prepared to accept that I may not be as fast as others.

In a fast-paced social lifestyle and a competitive environment of mutual comparison, it is essential to maintain self-awareness and emotional stability.

In some cases, it may be beneficial to simply allow events to unfold.

It is recommended that when an individual has sufficient energy, they should exert themselves to the fullest extent possible. However, when an individual is unable to do so, it is essential that they take a period of rest.

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Beverly Violet Holland Beverly Violet Holland A total of 2816 people have been helped

Greetings, inquirer.

My name is Liu, and I am here to listen.

Let me extend to you a gesture of physical affection.

"How can we avoid anxiety/how-can-excessive-social-comparison-be-avoided-19618.html" target="_blank">social comparison?" This is a highly pertinent question for discussion, and I have carefully considered your question statement.

Indeed, the contemporary human experience is one of accelerated living, characterized by a relentless pursuit of goals and a tendency to overlook the nuances of the journey. While the destination may be a source of happiness, the process itself also plays a pivotal role in determining the level of contentment one experiences. However, in the modern age, we have become so preoccupied with reaching our goals that we often fail to recognize the importance of pausing and appreciating the journey itself. Anxiety, stemming from the fear of failure, can impede our ability to fully embrace happiness. This is particularly evident in the context of social comparison, where individuals tend to compare their achievements and experiences with those of others, leading to feelings of inadequacy and a distorted perception of their own capabilities.

Firstly, it is important to recognise that happiness is not a competition. As a subjective experience that is continuous and personal, the acquisition of positive feelings does not come from "comparison." Indeed, excessive social comparison has been shown to deepen feelings of anxiety and depression, which are not conducive to mental health.

It is a natural human tendency to pursue personal goals. In the process of achieving these goals, individuals often experience a sense of personal strength and well-being, which can contribute to feelings of happiness. However, in some instances, individuals may engage in a form of happiness competition, attempting to prove their superiority in terms of happiness by highlighting differences between themselves and others.

Consequently, it is a common misconception that happiness is derived from comparison. In the past, I frequently encountered individuals who espoused the view that if one is not currently happy, it is beneficial to consider those who are even less fortunate. The rationale behind this is that by comparing oneself to these individuals, one experiences a sense of improvement in one's own circumstances. Initially, I was persuaded by this line of reasoning. However, upon reflection, I came to share the same reservations as many others.

Subsequently, during my studies in psychology, I was informed by one of my instructors that in our professional interactions with clients, it is unadvisable to offer such advice or solace. My instructor posited that this form of "comparative comfort" does not necessarily signify a genuine comprehension and acceptance of the circumstances of others and ourselves.

I have gradually come to recognize that each individual's circumstances are unique, and that the experience of pain and happiness are inherently distinct and should not be directly compared. This concept can be illustrated by the following analogy: Imagine a person experiencing the agony of thirst in a parched desert, with only half a cup of water to sustain them. In such a situation, suggesting that they consider another desert where many people lack access to water is akin to comparing two distinct forms of suffering.

Does this kind of comparison genuinely enhance the well-being of the individual in question?

Similarly, with regard to the state of happiness, it can be argued that comparison does not necessarily lead to a state of happiness.

Secondly, how did we gradually adopt a fast-paced, anxious lifestyle as a result of social comparisons?

(1) When "comparison" and "happiness" are linked, an obsession with maintaining a constant, unwavering pace is born.

The wisdom of our ancestors teaches us that there are mountains beyond the mountain and people beyond the people. This implies that there is an endless cycle of comparison. In this world, there are so many people, and we must treat ourselves with a sense of comparison. We will always be the ones who are lagging behind. However, competition in life has never stopped. As you said, from the beginning of our studies, we must strive to be at the top of our class. After we start working, we may also hear our elders expect us to be the best. After that, we need to improve our material standards as soon as possible.

The prevailing social narrative is that everyone is striving to advance and that those who falter will be left behind. This fear of being left behind can lead individuals to forego aspects of their lives, and they may feel compelled to conform to certain standards in order to be perceived as happy by others.

In this section, it can be observed that there is a tendency for individuals to internalize the projections of others.

(2) It appears that we are losing our way at an increasingly rapid pace.

(2) It appears that we are losing our way at an increasingly rapid pace.

The phenomenon of comparison can be attributed to our innate desires. It is evident that competition, in moderation, can be beneficial. It can drive societal development. However, excessive social comparison and a lack of tolerance for personal shortcomings can lead to feelings of anxiety and worry. The fast pace of modern life often leaves little time for reflection. Individuals may find themselves following the expectations of their parents or other significant figures without fully understanding their own desires. As they mature and gain independence, they may realize that their aspirations and their desired identity are not aligned. This discrepancy can lead to confusion and misguided decisions.

3. In response to the questions you have posed, I offer the following suggestions, which are based on my personal opinions and intended for your consideration.

It may be beneficial to engage in introspective dialogue to identify the underlying sources of apprehension associated with a perceived decline in one's pace of life.

The fast-paced modern lifestyle and the constant pressure to engage in social comparisons can be exhausting. Conversely, there is a complex psychological phenomenon that arises when individuals choose to slow down. Some individuals experience restlessness even when they are resting, and they may even feel guilty about this restlessness, fearing that it will disappoint themselves and catastrophizing about what will happen next.

Consequently, when confronted with the necessity of achieving one's objectives, the capacity to concentrate is compromised, and the conviction that one is inadequate as a result of comparisons becomes entrenched. This has the effect of lowering one's self-evaluation, and when the optimal period for recuperation and repose should be observed, the individual is instead restless and unable to relax adequately. Ultimately, this has an impact on one's sense of happiness.

This is an indication of one's character. In order to heal oneself, it is necessary to analyse the root causes of these situations. Each individual has their own experiences, and some past experiences can even be traumatic. By reflecting on the past once more, one can nurture the wounded inner child and attempt to identify the psychological issues behind the fear, which will help one to better understand and accept oneself. One can engage in some self-writing and self-dialogue, or read books related to the subject, which may be of assistance. I would recommend the book "Enduring Happiness" to you.

(2) One must cease the practice of comparison and instead recognize the inherent power of the self.

One must not live for others.

Humans are inherently independent beings.

Each individual has a unique timeframe for personal growth. It is essential to allow oneself the necessary time to evolve. Perceptions of happiness vary from person to person. While it may not be feasible to alter the beliefs of one's parents and grandparents, it is possible to establish one's own life compass, a process that demands considerable courage. In fact, charting a unique course in life is more challenging than merely following the prevailing trends or meeting the expectations of others.

It is therefore possible to take a moment to identify one's true inner desires. This brief period of reflection will not result in a lag in progress relative to one's past self. Only by identifying one's heart's desire can one ensure a resounding and powerful pace of growth.

One may attempt to articulate one's "longing" and identify potential avenues for its fulfillment. Should this prove challenging, it may be beneficial to engage in discourse with a qualified psychological practitioner to elucidate and address one's sentiments.

(3) Discovering one's own pace may facilitate a more profound sense of self-fulfillment.

(3) Discovering one's own rhythm may facilitate a more optimal sense of self-fulfillment.

The perception of the pace of life varies from person to person. The adage "what suits you is the best" is a fitting description of this phenomenon. It is this author's opinion that both a fast-paced life and a slow-paced life can present challenges. The key to navigating these challenges is to find a sense of balance. It should be noted that individuals may have different opinions on this matter.

One may formulate minor plans for one's life, such as incorporating physical activity or meditation into one's routine, and when time allows, one may seek proximity to nature. While achievements are significant, it is also crucial to perceive the nuances of one's existence.

When individuals are permitted to work and rest at their own pace, they may gradually come to recognize their self-worth.

This concludes my response.

I would like to express my gratitude to all those who have read this text.

I extend my best wishes to you.

I am a licensed psychologist at Yi Xinli.

Please do not hesitate to contact me should you require any further information or clarification.

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Sage Jordan Carter Sage Jordan Carter A total of 5845 people have been helped

Good morning, my name is Sister Chao from Yixinli.

I am in my early 90s, and I believe I have the option of choosing to live a fast-paced life of struggle or I can choose to be a salty fish, not competing or grabbing, just being content.

In fact, every individual has a unique mission in life. Psychologist Adler once stated, "Happiness is not about becoming a better version of yourself, but about discovering the real you."

I am unsure how you define "self-realization." Individuals from my parents' generation may view financial success, influence, and a superior lifestyle as forms of self-realization. However, I believe that discovering one's true identity and embracing it is a more authentic form of self-realization.

For instance, some individuals excel in following instructions, while others are adept at taking the initiative and planning. Some prefer to work independently, while others thrive in collaborative environments. Identifying one's strengths and leveraging them in a manner that aligns with personal preferences is a crucial step towards self-realization.

If an individual defines self-fulfillment as flying in the sky, they may experience remorse and inferiority throughout their life due to their inability to achieve this goal. It is essential to identify one's true nature, accept oneself, and adapt to the circumstances.

Fast-paced living can facilitate self-realization for some individuals, but it can also be overwhelming for others.

It is therefore essential to gain a clear understanding of one's own strengths and preferences, and to identify or create a role that aligns with these. This will help to avoid the risk of personal burnout and ensure a sustainable path forward.

Happiness is not an unattainable mirage in the desert. As long as we are willing to learn to settle our hearts, happiness will come quietly and last forever.

It would be beneficial for us all to have the opportunity to connect with our authentic selves and to have the courage to pursue our true passions.

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Margaret Louise Jenkins Margaret Louise Jenkins A total of 3399 people have been helped

A fast-paced life has brought many wonderful things to modern society! We've seen rapid technological development, improved work efficiency, and rapid economic growth. But, it's also come with some challenges. Stress, mental health problems, and changes in the quality of life are a few of the issues we've seen.

It's a tricky question, isn't it? Whether a fast-paced life is good for self-realization depends on what you value, what you want to achieve, and what your life is like.

If a person's goals and values are in line with a fast-paced lifestyle, like chasing professional success, financial income, or social status, then a fast-paced lifestyle might be a great fit for them!

[Mental health and well-being]: It's so important to look after our mental health! If we live a fast-paced life for too long, it can really take a toll on us. We might start to feel anxious, depressed, or like we're not quite ourselves. This can make it harder to achieve our full potential. So, it's really important to look after ourselves and our mental health!

It can be tough to find a good work-life balance when you're living a fast-paced life. It's so important to make time for your family, friends, and personal interests! Having a good work-life balance is essential for maintaining long-term happiness and satisfaction.

4 [Self-reflection and development]: A fast pace can sometimes leave folks with not enough time to reflect on their true needs and desires. Without that reflection, it can be easy to get caught up in what others expect of us, rather than what we truly want for ourselves.

[Adaptability and resilience]: Some people may find that they can adapt to the fast pace of life and even see it as a positive opportunity for growth. Others may feel a bit uncomfortable and frustrated. It's so important to have the resilience and adaptability to cope with whatever life throws at you!

[Cultural and social environment]: It's so interesting how different cultures and societies have different levels of acceptance of fast-paced living! In some places, fast-paced living is seen as a symbol of success and efficiency, while in others, slow living is considered to enhance the quality of life.

All in all, a fast-paced life doesn't automatically have a positive or negative effect on self-realization.

It all comes down to how we each manage our own pace of life.

And how they can go after their dreams while taking care of their bodies and minds and feeling good about life.

Many folks find that finding the right balance for themselves is not about giving up the fast-paced life completely.

And that's what's crucial to achieving your personal best!

This is so important for achieving your personal best!

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Willa Willa A total of 2926 people have been helped

Hello, question asker! Thanks so much for sharing this topic. In the counseling cases I've handled, I've seen that many people have the same confusion as you.

We all do it from time to time. Sometimes, though, excessive social comparison can lead to unnecessary stress, anxiety, and dissatisfaction. So, I've put together a few personal thoughts on how to avoid excessive social comparison.

—It's so important to recognize your own value! It's okay to understand and believe that your value does not depend on the results of comparing yourself to others. Everyone is unique, with their own strengths and weaknesses, and we can't be evaluated simply by comparison.

—Focus on inner growth: It's so important to focus on self-improvement and inner growth, rather than focusing too much on the appearance of others as displayed on social media or other platforms. Set your own personal goals and plans, and work hard towards achieving them. You've got this!

— Stay true to yourself, sweetheart! Don't try to imitate others or pursue success standards that others consider to be successful. Find your own interests and passions and pursue what really means something to you.

— Cultivate a grateful heart: Take a moment to appreciate all the good things and experiences you already have. Every little blessing in life is worth being grateful for! This will help reduce envy and jealousy of other people's lives.

— Build healthy relationships! Make sure you have people in your life who can support you, understand you, and encourage you. Try to avoid spending too much time with people who constantly engage in negative comparisons or bragging.

—Limit social media use: Social media is often the main source of social comparison. You can do this by reducing the time spent on social media, or by choosing to follow people and accounts that inspire positive emotions and convey positive energy.

—Seek psychological counseling: If you're having a tough time escaping from excessive social comparison, don't worry! You can seek help from a professional counselor. They can provide effective strategies and methods to help you get out of this dilemma.

It's so important to remember that everyone's life is different. There's no need to worry about what others are doing or how they're doing it. Just focus on your own journey and what makes you happy. You'll find that life becomes so much more fulfilling and satisfying when you do this.

I really hope my sharing can be helpful for you! I'm Deng Hong, a listening coach. Every voice in your heart is worth listening to, and I'd love to chat with you.

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Lucretia Lucretia A total of 8960 people have been helped

Hello, I'm Qiuzi. I'm glad to discuss how to avoid anxiety/how-can-excessive-social-comparison-be-avoided-19618.html" target="_blank">excessive social comparison.

I feel the same way. Our generation has been driven by fear since childhood. We were afraid of not getting into a good school, finding a good job, affording a house, or raising our children well. This kind of life has pushed us into a mold, turning us into the same people. We strive to meet other people's standards and are driven by anxiety.

But more and more people are unhappy. We can't ignore worldly standards or our anxiety. This makes life painful.

How can we escape suffering, find our own rhythm, and enjoy life? You asked if a fast pace helps or hinders self-realization.

The key is finding a balance. A fast pace helps us connect to society and develop social skills.

We connect with others through social media to feel like we belong. We feel valued at work.

If we follow the crowd too much, we'll lose ourselves and become anxious or depressed.

We need to learn to disconnect from the outside world and ignore the negative voices in our heads.

How can we do this? I'll share a method that I've tested and found effective: reduce the time spent watching short videos, especially on Douyin.

Anxiety-inducing content often makes people lose themselves in the virtual world and forget about happiness in real life.

No matter what the pace of the outside world is, it's important to find our own rhythm. Some people achieve success young, while others do so later. As long as we believe we are worthy, anything is possible.

I hope this helps. Happy New Year!

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Henry Fernandez Henry Fernandez A total of 1871 people have been helped

My friends asked me how to avoid excessive social comparison. They also wanted to know if a fast-paced life is conducive or detrimental to self-realization.

"This interests me, and I'll share my thoughts. I'll take your advice and criticism.

First, a life of struggle is meaningful. I don't know what year you were born, but I'm already retired.

As a post-60s generation, you must have the spirit to endure hardship and work hard if you want to stand out and make a difference. Don't compare your life with classmates, colleagues, and friends around you. Set your own aspirations and goals. Divide your life into stages, with each stage lasting five years. Have several major and minor goals. If you achieve them, you will be happy. If you don't, you will put more pressure on yourself and work harder.

I grew up in an environment where I didn't feel much social pressure. My parents, teachers, and leaders were all very tolerant, caring, and understanding. Of course, there were times when I felt passive at work or when I was not understood, but I always looked for the cause, the problem, and the solution within myself first. If I really couldn't find an answer, I would ask my trusted teachers, elders, brothers, and leaders for advice.

I have worked happily and successfully for more than 40 years, and I know why.

2. The environment can change people, and people must adapt to their environment. The general secretary has repeatedly emphasized the need for harmonious coexistence between humans and nature, which is a profound and essential concept.

The I Ching states, "The sky is strong in action, and the superior man, exerting himself unceasingly, makes it his constant endeavor to grow in strength. The earth is weak in action; the superior man, of a noble character, bears the world upon himself." Mr. Wang Yangming, who attained enlightenment at Longchang, admonished his students and descendants as early as 600 years ago: "If you do not succeed, look within yourself." He said, "Investigate things to attain knowledge, and unify knowledge with action."

The founder of contemporary smileology and integrative psychologist Dr. He Lingfeng asserted five years ago that as social beings, we must go from the macro to the micro, seeing the world, seeing ourselves, and seeing the world. The wisdom of the ancients and these assertions of psychologists have shown us the direction and path for our growth.

There are rules to be followed in the natural world, in society, and in human relationships. For example, in the student stage, just as we were students, in the first grade of primary school, we must not learn junior high school courses. We must not immediately extinguish the learning interest that has just sprouted in the kindergarten stage with a bucket of cold water. This goes against the rules of learning, the natural world, and human nature.

The case of three teenagers from Handan, Hebei Province, who brutally murdered their classmate, the cases of school bullying and student suicide and self-harm that continue to appear on the internet, all show that there is a major problem with current education. There is no doubt about it. At present, when it comes to the growth and education of children, both parents and teachers tend to focus more on the students' grades, while neglecting or ignoring the physical and psychological needs of the children during their growth process.

The student stage is for growth, both physical and intellectual. You cannot learn geometry by sitting in a classroom all day. Attempting to force growth will only lead to disappointment. A balanced development of the mind, body, and spirit is the only way forward.

It is clear that there are differences between fast and slow for individuals. The only way to ensure that everyone is happy is to teach students according to their aptitude. For example, at the primary and junior high school levels, boys generally develop intellectually later than girls. At the high school level, those with good grades are often boys. Many parents do not understand this regularity and often compare their children with their peers at the same school and with the children in the neighborhood. This not only fails to improve their children's grades, but also hurts their children's self-confidence.

If you walk into the office, you will see people constantly comparing themselves to others and to other departments. This is not a good thing. The key point is that only the fittest will survive.

We are told that comparison is the key to discernment. But is it really? Can comparing oneself to others really make one better? And can comparing oneself to others in terms of wealth really add to one's wealth and happiness?

The answer is simple: if you are physically and mentally healthy, diligent and hardworking, and have a clear goal, you will achieve a successful future.

3. Your sense of rhythm in life should be based on the feeling of happiness and contentment.

Life is only a hundred years long, and happiness depends on hard work. China's national conditions are that it is a vast country with a large population.

Every day on the way to work, it's a scene of heavy traffic and a sea of people.

From childhood to adulthood, we are taught by our teachers and parents that only through continuous hard work can we find a good job, a good partner, etc.

When we go abroad, we discover another habit, another way of life: the slow life. The questioner's thoughts on fast-paced and slow-paced living are spot on. They reflect the reality of young people today, including retired people like me.

Self-realization is the inevitable result and ultimate goal of a long-term struggle that accumulates over time. The question of whether a fast-paced or slow-paced life is better for achieving one's goals sooner is a false dichotomy. History is replete with examples of individuals who have achieved success in a slow and steady manner. Jiang Ziya's story of fishing and the willing person taking the bait is a case in point. He is a model of enjoying a slow life and also a late-blooming success.

Zhuge Liang was over 30 years old when he retired to the mountains and forests, waiting for Liu Bei's repeated visits. Jack Ma, young and ambitious, led the 18 Luohan and achieved Alibaba's business legend by walking on the cloud and waiting for the dawn.

Fast is slow, and slow is fast. Life is like driving on the highway. On a sunny day, drive fast. In rainy or snowy weather, drive slow.

This is the right balance between fast and slow rhythms. Everyone will understand and experience it in time.

In short, those who know how to adapt to the times are the heroes. The meaning of life is learning and enlightenment, and it's about constantly enriching oneself. You don't need to be overly concerned about other people's feelings and opinions, and you don't need to engage in excessive social comparisons. You need to maintain an optimistic attitude, be proactive, and have no regrets about having come to this world to experience it. You need to reap happiness from your efforts and achieve a career through hard work.

Life is a long road, and you're going to live in the present. Don't worry about having no friends along the way—everyone knows you.

Today's you is stronger and better than yesterday's you!

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Lilyana Knight Lilyana Knight A total of 6662 people have been helped

It's so great that social comparison is becoming more and more common!

Social comparison is a great way to boost your self-confidence and get you on the path to reasonable self-improvement. Just remember that it won't work if you're comparing yourself to someone who's unattainable.

So, how do you strike the right balance?

1. Embrace the fact that everyone is unique!

It's so important to remember that everyone is unique! In every field, everyone has their own amazing strengths and characteristics.

Comparison is an unfair act because everyone has a different starting point and different experiences—and that's a great thing!

2. Reshape your concept of success! Do what you can!

Success is not the only standard, nor is it the only path. Learn to do things according to your abilities and pursue your goals according to your abilities and interests! Don't blindly chase after the success of others — set your sights on your own amazing potential instead!

3. Seeing growth, not flaws!

Shift your focus from your shortcomings to your growth! Every effort and experience is a kind of growth, and regardless of the result, it is worth being affirmed!

When we embrace positive self-awareness, we can truly see our own value in a whole new light!

4. Establishing internal recognition – self-affirmation

It's so important to seek internal recognition rather than chasing external recognition! When we cultivate a sense of self-affirmation and learn to appreciate our own efforts and achievements, we can better face external pressures and reduce the negative impact of social comparison.

5. Set personal goals – and don't use others as a benchmark!

Set goals that suit your personal situation and interests, and don't use others as a benchmark. Everyone's life trajectory is different, so there's no need to excessively pursue a similar life trajectory to others. Instead, find a path to happiness that suits you and go for it!

6. Sharing success with others – creating happiness together!

And when we share the success of others, we should also learn to share our own success! Sharing happiness not only reduces the pressure of comparison, but also allows us to gain more support and blessings from the sharing.

3. Regaining freedom – saying goodbye to the shackles of comparison

Social comparison is a war without smoke, and the battlefield is within us. But we can win! By realizing the uniqueness of each individual, reshaping the concept of success, seeing growth rather than flaws, establishing internal recognition, setting personal goals, and sharing success with others, we can gradually say goodbye to the shackles of social comparison and embark on a freer and more relaxing journey of the soul.

Let's encourage each other!

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Athena Thompson Athena Thompson A total of 4258 people have been helped

Indeed, as society progresses, the pace is accelerating, creating a sense of being unable to rest or even catch one's breath.

One might also consider the influence of societal expectations, which can impede the ability to think critically and independently. For instance, the numbers 996 and 5+2, which represent the combination of white and black, illustrate how our environment can sometimes discourage us from contemplating our genuine needs. This can even lead to the stifling of individuality. The aspirations that are commonly encouraged by society tend to prioritize contributing to society over satisfying personal desires.

Those who are unable or unwilling to decelerate their pace of life may experience depression and anxiety. It is evident that, on the one hand, humans have augmented their capacity to prevail over nature, yet on the other hand, they have also inflicted greater harm upon the natural world. Furthermore, there has been a notable shift towards greater introversion among the human population.

A fast-paced life undoubtedly facilitates self-realization for some individuals. For instance, the internet has enabled some people to swiftly become wealthy, while others have matured rapidly. Conversely, this fast pace has also adversely affected some people, as this group is unable to keep pace with the demands of society and consequently becomes ill.

Returning to the topic, it is important to consider how excessive social comparison can be avoided. Firstly, it is essential to ensure that individuals are brought up with a complete self-concept. Secondly, it is vital to facilitate the improvement and development of an individual's capacity to think deeply and discriminate when they grow up. This should be accompanied by the full utilisation of their strengths and expertise, as well as a commitment to repaying others and society. Thirdly, individuals should not become detached from society. Instead, they should engage in objective self-reflection and comparison with others, recognising their own weaknesses and inadequacies. Finally, it is crucial to foster a sense of self-love and encourage individuals to draw upon their past experiences as a source of motivation and growth.

It is my sincere hope that this will prove to be of assistance.

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Hamilton Hamilton A total of 2907 people have been helped

People compare themselves because they don't know their own value. Wu Mao is like a point in a coordinate system. It knows its size and height by comparing with the surrounding points.

Our senses are always looking outward. It seems that we are most sensitive to external things and only when something goes wrong do we notice what's going on inside. Maybe we're so used to what we have that we don't notice it. We forget about things like our heartbeat and breathing. It's hard to feel things inside our bodies. Our minds are the same way. We always hear "the one who knows you best is you." Is that true? When we think about "who am I?" "What is the meaning of my existence?"

"What do I want?" These are hard questions. Many people never get answers.

Knowing oneself is hard, but it's important.

The wise place this desire externally. They want to be better than others, prove they are valuable, and show they have more social resources. This means we always have to search for our place in the world and find the best position.

Until we can handle pain, explore our inner selves, and understand our true selves, we will often compare ourselves to others.

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Primrose Knight Primrose Knight A total of 9811 people have been helped

Hello! I've noticed that a few short lines of text, when read with attention, can evoke a sense of reflection and resonance.

In today's social landscape, we are witnessing the rise of a trend that could be described as "anxiety big data." This trend encompasses not only the concept of withdrawal, relaxation, and Buddhism, but also the pervasive feeling of anxiety or panic that arises from the fast-paced pressures of real life. It is important to recognize that competition is a ubiquitous aspect of modern life, and that self-regulation is essential for navigating it successfully. However, it is also important to acknowledge that excessive concern and participation in competition can lead to difficulties in maintaining boundaries and role changes. This can result in a sense of being stuck in a state of transition and passive comparison amidst the rush of events, with a constant worry that one might fall behind others. In such circumstances, it is not uncommon to feel limited by the "cold law" and "law of the jungle."

In the previous paragraph, I had a profound personal experience of an incident, and I felt that "self-kindness and empathy" might not be the most effective approach. My intuition suggests that persevering in the slow progress might not be the most "relaxed" way to proceed. Perhaps it would be beneficial to consider a change of perspective, allowing me to slow down, pause, reflect, and gain a deeper understanding of myself. This could potentially lead to a sense of relief. It might be helpful to "empty and reset" one's heart, allowing the body and mind to avoid "falling into internal depletion and procrastination." It could free up time and space to slow down, and through "slow rhythm empowerment," it might allow for more time to focus on enriching the body and mind, to restart or adjust new goals, and then face everything that is happening again.

It would be beneficial to gain a deeper understanding and clarity of the idea that "moderation and self-coherence is the best!"

How might we avoid excessive social comparison?

(1) It would be beneficial to cultivate a positive outlook towards idealised goals, to adjust these goals in a timely manner, and to assess the potential for stability in change to achieve the same goal.

In today's competitive environment, it is understandable that individuals may feel pressure to present a confident and capable image. It is also natural to set ambitious goals and compare them with others'. However, this can lead to a fast-paced lifestyle, which may include working overtime, pursuing further studies, improving efficiency, managing time effectively, setting challenging new goals, and so on. In such circumstances, it can be helpful to identify personal strengths, develop a rationale for pursuing these goals, and set achievable, incremental targets. By doing so, individuals can gradually work towards their desired outcomes in a sustainable manner.

In particular, when planning one's career and striving to reach a specific stage or situation, it can be helpful to view constant change as a way of measuring the unchanging ultimate goal.

2) Self-awareness, self-analysis, clarity, and acceptance of the value of self-realization

It is often said that the potential of the self is unfathomable. Perhaps the key lies in self-awareness and in-depth exploration. In the process of exploration, one may come to understand oneself, find the source of motivation for achieving goals, and focus on the circumstances of people and things, so that creativity can be effective.

(3) The mind and body work together to gather innovation and bring order and freshness.

It is thought that the foundation of physical and mental well-being comes from the perceptive experience of "state of mind + emotions." Some believe that it is even more beneficial to "slow down and return to the heart with mindfulness." Looking back at the beginning of your journey and examining yourself, it is thought that understanding and facing the "deep meaning of life or career" can be achieved by taking a formal slow pace, which brings more reflection, compassion, and care for yourself, as well as seeing your own values and ultimate goals.

After all, there are many ways to reach the same destination. When you're facing challenges or feeling stuck, it might be helpful to consider a different approach. Planning and self-empowerment can help you move forward in a clear and orderly manner.

(4) It is important to find a reasonable and self-consistent balance between life and career.

Life is your own, and a career is only for a better life or to improve the quality of life. The two are complementary and inseparable. A happy life is a blissful state of mind, and good coordination can help reduce stress. A career is different, and it is challenging to "work and pay happily." It often comes from being recognized for the achievement of money or value. Diverse relationships can affect it, and it's worth noting that you tend to get more from giving than you receive. You may find it helpful to "have a method, be efficient, and gather" to avoid detours or achieve quickly.

It may be helpful to view and apply the "law of the jungle" by considering its natural and social attributes. This could be an objective and subjective driving force that allows us to naturally seize resources and let the strong breed and the fittest survive.

In short, it is the strength, wisdom, means, and ability to transform or adapt to the world. It could be said that self-consistent understanding and self-consistent rationalization are the best approach.

It may be helpful to remember that a sense of rhythm that is suitable for oneself is the best. It is also worth noting that anxiety can have a negative impact on performance, and that stress can contribute to feelings of anxiety.

It could be argued that success is not the most important thing; perhaps the most important thing is the maturity of one's mind and the spiritual freedom and abundance.

I would like to suggest the following books for your consideration: "It's Okay to Take Your Time," "Take Your Time, Everything Will Be Alright," and "How to Get Through a Rainy Day." I believe you will find inspiration in these books. Let's encourage each other!

My name is Peiwen, and I am writing to express my love for the world.

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Ethan Ethan A total of 1743 people have been helped

Good day. My name is Ying Keyu Xuan, and I empathize with your perplexity.

From childhood to adulthood, individuals are socialized to engage in a pervasive practice of comparison, which encompasses a range of domains, including academic performance, family background, physical appearance, and other aspects of identity. This phenomenon has become deeply entrenched in various aspects of life.

Comparisons have both advantages and disadvantages. One advantage is that by comparing, individuals can identify their own shortcomings and weaknesses. By comparing with others, individuals can discover their shortcomings and learn from the strengths of others, thereby complementing each other's strengths.

Comparisons can also facilitate fair competition, stimulate the potential of individuals and teams, and promote social innovation and development. However, excessive comparisons may result in individuals experiencing feelings of inferiority, leading to the perception that they are inferior to others in every way, which can subsequently affect self-esteem and self-confidence.

An excessive focus on the merits and achievements of others, coupled with a lack of attention to one's own strengths and specialties, can readily give rise to feelings of jealousy and negative emotions, which in turn have the potential to impact physical and mental health.

Comparing oneself to others can be a source of frustration. In order to realize one's potential and maintain one's mental health, it is essential to avoid excessive social comparisons. Instead, one should focus on one's own goals and life, and engage in activities that encourage one to focus on the present. This will help to prevent one from paying undue attention to the achievements of others.

It is important to understand one's own strengths and advantages and to recognize that everyone has their own unique value. One should trust oneself and avoid making comparisons with others.

Occasionally, individuals hasten through their daily lives, failing to acknowledge the surrounding environment. However, there is no necessity to hasten, as life is a prolonged journey. Life can be likened to a marathon, and a slower pace may facilitate the discovery of a distinctive kind of beauty.

Similarly, I previously engaged in a frantic daily routine, devoid of opportunities to contemplate my genuine aspirations. I was afflicted by pervasive anxiety. However, following a period of significant experience, I have elected to adopt a more measured pace. When I decelerate to embrace life, I direct my attention inward, acknowledge the positive aspects of my surroundings, and recognize the abundance of blessings I already possess. This approach has facilitated accelerated personal growth.

The impact of a fast-paced life on self-realization is complex and varies from person to person. Some individuals thrive in a fast-paced environment, while others find it overwhelming. The contribution of a fast-paced life to self-realization is influenced by individual factors such as personality, coping mechanisms, and resilience.

To a certain extent, a fast-paced life can stimulate people's potential, improve work efficiency, and promote personal growth. However, an excessive pursuit of a fast-paced life can also have certain negative effects.

This entails acquiring the ability to achieve equilibrium in a fast-paced lifestyle, demonstrating consideration for one's own needs and those of others, and attaining a more comprehensive sense of self-growth.

It is my hope that my response has been of some assistance to you. I believe that you are capable of identifying a lifestyle that will facilitate your realization of the self. I encourage you to pursue this course of action.

I extend my affection to the world and to you.

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Rachelle Lee Rachelle Lee A total of 1451 people have been helped

Hello, question asker. I can see you're feeling confused, and I'm here to support you!

There's a concept in psychology called the "comparison theory."

Indeed, comparison is everywhere in our society today.

Sometimes, excessive comparison is also related to our family of origin.

Your mother might say, "Look at the other kids."

When I was a kid, I hated it when my mom said things like that. She'd say, "Look at your best friend next door. She's a year younger than you, and she's already learned so many things. How come you haven't even learned how to tie your shoelaces after almost a year?"

But there has to be someone in our society today who is doing better than we are.

So, how can we avoid excessive social comparison?

It's about being grateful for what you have and not focusing on what you don't have.

For instance, instead of dwelling on how you're not great at work and haven't yet reached a position like manager after years of trying, you can remind yourself that the pandemic was a huge challenge for the country for four years. You've managed to keep your job and support your family, which is a big achievement.

As a matter of fact, when we change our mindset, bad things can turn into good things.

I really hope you can find a solution to the problem you're facing soon.

At the moment, that's all I can think about.

I hope my answer was helpful and inspiring to you, the questioner. I'm the answerer, and I study hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, we love you and best wishes to you!

Just wanted to drop you a quick line to say hi and wish you the best!

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Cecil Cecil A total of 7801 people have been helped

"From our earliest days in school, it seems that our generation has been taught to believe that if we slow down, we will lose our competitive edge and that if we take a break, we will be left behind..." From the moment we are born, our parents and grandparents use their accumulated life experience and wisdom to protect us and ensure the best possible life for us and for themselves. Some of this wisdom comes from the experiences of previous generations, and some comes from the profound imprints left by the experiences of the war, poverty and hunger of the generation of our grandparents and parents.

Our lives are a test of our experience and wisdom, just as our children's lives also examine our experience and wisdom. And our lives have caught up with an unprecedented social environment, where everyone is on the same starting line, with clear and definite goals. In order to live a better life, the former poverty has made everything simple.

At the same time, it is important to recognize that change is inevitable, as is reflection, given the limitations of experience and knowledge.

"Anxiety and depression are on the rise. This fast pace has narrowed the breadth of life, leaving us no time to think about what we really need." It would seem that we don't have much time to think about what we really need.

I believe we did think about it after all.

"After really slowing down, I wonder if a slow-paced life might be too comfortable, potentially preventing me from fulfilling my ambitious goals and achieving what I'm capable of."

As it is a multiple choice question, perhaps the best course of action would be to simply choose one and give it your all. Regardless of the outcome, it is reassuring to know that we have taken one path for our children, which will hopefully provide them with a clearer idea of what they would like to do later on.

"Do you think a fast-paced life is conducive to or detrimental to self-realization?" For me, a slow-paced life suits me better. My choices are based on my needs, my goals, my character traits, and at this stage of my life, I probably don't think much about whether it is conducive to self-realization.

May blessings, gratitude, and the privilege of walking together be yours.

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Leo Hughes Leo Hughes A total of 5073 people have been helped

I'd like to start by saying that a fast-paced life is also a way of living. It has its ups and downs, and it's important to look at both sides. For some people, a fast-paced life can be really beneficial if they can handle it well. But if they can't handle it, it can be really hard on them. So, it's really important to be able to face the different influences of life and society in a positive way.

Indeed, it's so important for us to learn to avoid social comparisons as much as we can. The best way to do this is to start from within ourselves, do what we think is right from the heart, and not be swept along by society. This way, we can break away from this fast-paced life and set out on our own path.

The first thing you need to do is get to know yourself better. Ask yourself: what do you really want to do, and what kind of person do you want to become? I'll be honest with you: I am my own worst enemy. I've learned that I can't focus on other people. They can be great role models, but they can't be a source of trouble on your journey. I can read when I'm feeling helpless, or ask and learn from others, but I can't develop a bad psychology like jealousy. The only way to get away from this kind of comparison is to focus all your attention on yourself.

Second, it's also really helpful to set some life plans and goals for yourself. At each stage of your life, it's good to think about what you want to do. That way, you'll have a main line for yourself, your main task, rather than just doing what other people do. That's not so helpful, and it can lead to internal conflict. Your own life is the most important, so it's great if you can make your own life plan!

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Genevieve Ford Genevieve Ford A total of 8021 people have been helped

This is a topic that really makes you think, so thank you to the original poster for raising it.

First, let's think about why we need to "compare."

First of all, it's because of China's national conditions. With a large population base, quantitative comparison is often the fairest way, without exception. This is why for so many years, everyone has been criticizing the college entrance examination system. But they have to admit that the college entrance examination score as the admission standard is the fairest and most reasonable way, and that's okay!

Secondly, it's natural for people to want to affirm themselves through "comparison." It's okay to admit that most people actually gain a sense of inner security by comparing themselves with others. For example, "not as good as the best, but better than the worst" is a good explanation. It's reassuring to know that there are many people who are worse off than me, and I'm still okay.

From this perspective, "comparison" actually has some positive effects. So why are we all feeling so weighed down by "comparison"?

I totally get it. There are probably several reasons for this.

1) Most Chinese people prefer the "golden mean" approach. They want to be on a similar level as everyone else. Being too high or too low upsets people. Let me give you a simple example. It's time to go home from work, and you've finished all your work. But when you look up, you see that everyone else is still working overtime. You hesitate: Everyone else is still working, so it's not good if I'm the only one to leave, is it?

At this point, you might be feeling a bit conflicted. On the one hand, you've finished your work and can head home. But on the other hand, you're worried that your boss might give you a hard time because you're different from everyone else. It's totally normal to feel this way!

2) We still lack an objective understanding of the results of "comparison." There is a winner and a loser in the results of "comparison," and of course the winner is happy! But what about the loser?

It's important to remember that winning and losing is part of the military. One win or one loss doesn't define you. You can always sum up and review the game, or you can fight again another day or on a different field.

It's important to remember that our bodies can only handle so much. After a period of high-load operation, it's natural for us to need a bit more time to recuperate. So if you're pushing yourself too hard, it's okay to slow down and focus on long-term development.

It's so important to take care of ourselves and each other. There are more and more people suffering from anxiety and depression, which is a good time for us to start reflecting. Life is long. If you have a life expectancy of 100 years, do you want to run all the way, only to reach 60 years old? Or do you want to take your time, stroll down the aisle, and reach 100 years old? Or do you want to run as fast as you can until you reach 50 years old, and then start enjoying the scenery until you reach 80 years old?

Take some time to think about these questions, figure out what you really want, and then break down your goals into long-term and short-term goals. Once you've done that, you're ready to get started!

After all, we're all people who have a life expectancy of 100 years!

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Ilsa Ilsa A total of 7859 people have been helped

Hello, questioner! Your words reveal that during your formative years, your body was acutely aware of all these external pressures!

I envy him.

Looking back at my school days from the perspective of an adult, I can see that it was quite challenging to be so perceptive, to study so hard, and to always keep up with the times. It was also quite difficult. However, the learning outcomes that one obtains in this state can bring a little spiritual comfort! Of course, it is also possible that in the process of trying hard, one never gets it right, and one does not see any progress in oneself, gradually falling into anxiety and stress.

I want to think about what I really want. This is a very good question. We live on this planet, and if we figure out what we want sooner, the rest of our lives will be clear, and our efforts will be more motivated.

I am more doubtful. Is it really the case? Will it really be confident, relaxed, and worthwhile to live if you figure out what you want sooner?

I want to invite this anxiety and worry to stay in our bodies a little longer, or even for a while. This question will accompany us throughout our lives. At every stage, we can look back on this question and see if it is in line with the current situation and social environment.

The fast pace of life and the various pressures around us oppress us. When these things are beyond our control, we must face them together and take control of the part that we can grasp in our own hands. Every day in our own lives, we can choose to give ourselves a moderate relaxing activity before going to bed, when we wake up, or during our lunch break. For example, meditate, listen to music, reflect on ourselves, or take a short nap.

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Comments

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Grace Thomas A successful person uses failure as a compass to guide them towards success.

I think the fastpaced life can be both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, it pushes us to achieve more and reach higher goals, which can be very fulfilling. On the other hand, it often leaves little room for personal growth and reflection, which are crucial for true selfrealization.

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Joaquin Miller The role of a teacher is to be a mirror that reflects a student's potential back to them.

In my view, a slower pace allows us to focus on what's really important in life. It gives us the chance to listen to our inner voice and understand our true desires. Without this, we might just be chasing after things that society deems valuable but don't necessarily align with our own aspirations.

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Bernard Davis The greatest growth is the growth of the soul.

A fastpaced lifestyle seems to equate success with busyness. But I wonder if this is truly beneficial for selfrealization. Sometimes slowing down can actually help us become more creative and productive in the long run because we're not just reacting but acting with purpose.

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Rowan Carson The impact of a teacher's teachings can echo through the corridors of a student's entire life.

I believe balance is key. A fastpaced life isn't inherently bad, but it's important to make time for moments of stillness. These pauses can offer clarity and direction, helping us to better align our actions with our core values and ambitions.

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Curtis Miller Success is not so much what we have as what we are.

To me, the fear of slowing down is rooted in societal pressures. We're taught to equate worth with productivity. Yet, when we take the time to slow down, we might find that our greatest insights come during these quiet moments, leading to deeper selfawareness and personal development.

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