How can I become happy if I want to be less sentimental?

I am honored to answer your question and hope that my response will be of some assistance to you.

[Regarding interpersonal relationships]

"I believe that the most significant issue currently is that of interpersonal relationships. I am unable to exist in isolation, nor can I sustain a solitary existence."

This may be regarded as a process of "establishing oneself."

The more we comprehend our own identities, discern the sources of our happiness (such as sports or painting, for instance), ascertain our purpose in life (such as contributing to a field), and recognize our strengths (such as being observant, empathetic, and adept at discerning the emotions around us),

The more one can "establish oneself" and the more one can "fall in love with oneself,"

Once individuals begin to appreciate and love themselves, they may find it more comfortable and enjoyable to spend time alone.

It is thought that when the core is sufficiently stable, it will be easier to establish a healthy interpersonal relationship with others, which is characterised by three key elements: respect, give and take.

Once individuals assume the role of the initiator, they will inevitably become the subject of subsequent narratives.

It is imperative to take the initiative and proactively shape the life one desires. This entails determining the type of person one wishes to be, the environment in which one wants to live, and the activities one wants to engage in.

For example, one might consider seeking out a role model with whom to engage in study and information sharing.

It is recommended that individuals adopt an open and honest approach when interacting with others, viewing such interactions as an opportunity to gain insights and experiences.

Gradually, individuals with similar outlooks will form long-lasting connections, fostering a supportive environment for the questioner.

It is sufficient to have one or two confidants in one's lifetime. There is no need for haste. One should simply embrace life's experiences with an open mind.

It may be the case that there is no need to undergo a fundamental change in oneself; rather, one should simply augment the strategies one employs and become more flexible.

Kazuo Inamori once posited, "Think optimistically, plan pessimistically, and execute optimistically." This assertion suggests that pessimism can serve a beneficial purpose when employed in a strategic manner.

Pessimism can assist in ensuring thoroughness and preparedness for potential adverse outcomes.

It would be beneficial to ascertain what the questioner is thinking when they are "stuck in negative emotions" and what their concerns may be.

One should endeavor to write them out and create a list, then proceed to examine each item on the list and inquire further.

"Is this a realistic possibility?" "What measures can be taken to avert it?"

"If the situation does indeed materialize, how might one rectify it?"

Once the situation is clarified, the motivation to take action increases.

One may choose to focus on the behavior of "what can I do," and also divert "sentimental" and "daydreaming."

It is possible to overcome anxiety by taking action, adopting a more strategic approach, and being flexible.

For example, one might consider performing the task of laundry in a different manner, humming a tune, brushing one's teeth while smiling in the mirror while listening to music, engaging in physical activity such as running or exercising when one feels restless, and appreciating the beautiful scenery of the campus, the flowers, etc.

The optimal solution is within your own control. It is imperative to have confidence in your abilities and recognize your capacity to achieve the desired outcome.

[How to Become Happy]

One must become the primary individual responsible for regulating one's emotional state.

One must be proactive and creative.

They are both committed to future success and capable of appreciating the present.

I posit that this is the essence of happiness: the ability to discern a direction and subsequently experience a state of contentment.

This is the entirety of my message. I wish you a positive emotional state each day, and I extend my love to the world and to you.

I feel the same way! I'd love to share my approach with you.

When I don't want to be alone, I get to see what other people are up to! I might not know what I'm doing, but I can always join in by watching and listening.

For example, if I'm eating alone in the school cafeteria and I notice that some of my classmates are sitting at a table together, I'll pay attention to what they're talking about. Why? Because they might mention something that interests me! Like an event organized by the student council that evening.

1. I might go to

For example, if it's a debate or a lecture, I might just sit in. And that's a really good thing!

I love making new friends and finding out what's going on at events. I also love seeing what topics interest me and who I can meet. I'll listen to what people have to say about what they feel is important but often overlooked. I'll also look out for initiatives to get everyone to work together, with some people doing this and others doing that. If I find it meaningful, I'll jump right in and participate!

2. I may not participate, but that's okay!

I might also listen to the topic they are talking about, and it sounds pretty ordinary and uninteresting. But if I'm not interested in joining in, I'll realize that in fact, some of the students around me are also quite boring, just like me.

I would think, "Oh, it turns out that I'm not the only one who feels bored at school, or in life. They also lack a little something that attracts me. It's quite uninteresting, and this is the norm... But, I would feel quite balanced, thinking that I'm neither good nor bad, and there are others like me, which is also quite good."

So, I start from my own feelings. When I feel lonely and a little uncomfortable, I go to a place where there are people talking, listening, and watching. The result is twofold: one is that there are really fun activities around us that I would like to participate in; the other is that I don't see anything interesting, but I can also find the feeling that "other people are not much different from me," and loneliness is not so unbearable. Everyone is more or less the same, so I'm not so afraid of loneliness.

What do you think? Go and have a look where people are talking, listen to them. You can do it!

Hello, my child. I hope my answer can be of some help to you.

After reading your description, I can tell you're going through a rough patch. Having a problem is actually a good thing because it shows you're growing and exploring yourself. In the process of exploration, you'll always gain a better understanding of yourself, which is a kind of growth.

My advice to you is:

1. How can you be alone without feeling lonely?

When you're alone and feeling lonely, what is this loneliness? Is it the hope for company? Or is it the hope for encouragement and appreciation?

Do you still want to be recognized and seen by others? Or do you want to be cared for and loved by others?

Most of our sense of loneliness comes from unmet internal needs. We hope that someone outside can give us these needs, and when no one comes to give them to us, we feel very lonely. But did you know that

These needs can be met by yourself, not by relying on others. You have everything you need inside. When you learn to accompany yourself, encourage and appreciate yourself, recognize and see yourself, take care of and care for yourself, you'll feel a sense of inner fullness and satisfaction, and you'll be able to truly enjoy being alone without feeling lonely. This is my own experience and journey. For more details, see my entry on the word "companionship" – "What is the psychological significance of companionship?"

.

2. If we want to be less sentimental, have positive energy, the power of love, and a general sense of well-being, we first need to see and channel our emotions, while also taking good care of ourselves.

The reason why we have emotions and are easily moved is because we suppress them. We think that if we suppress our emotions at the time, they will disappear, but they don't. These emotions have always been there. If we don't go and release and transform them, they will make us feel inexplicably sentimental and easily moved. Therefore, if we want to become a person with inner stability and positive energy, we need to first stabilize our emotions. When our emotions are stable and we are calm, we will naturally have strength.

It can help to identify the underlying reasons for your emotions and then find ways to satisfy them in a reasonable way. As mentioned in the first point, you can fill in whatever gaps you have. You can also try keeping an emotional diary. Writing can be a kind of catharsis and transformation, as well as an internal integration process. You can also find the right person to talk to. Talking can be therapeutic, but we need to find the right person, someone who can give you understanding and support. You can also try mindfulness meditation. Meditation can relax and calm us down, as well as enhance our brain function. Long-term adherence will make our emotions more stable and increase our wisdom.

3. You can also get help from your social circle. It's not a problem to be alone and socialize. If you can find people who support you, you'll feel better about yourself.

We all need relationships, but we have to choose our relationships wisely. If some relationships are toxic and make you doubt yourself, then it's time to step away. But if some relationships bring warmth, support, and strength, make you trust yourself more, and even make you realize you're more valuable than you thought, then those are the relationships you want. You can gain nourishment and strength from them. If you can't find such relationships in real life, you can join some supportive growth groups or establish a stable counseling relationship with a counselor. The best state for a person is when they can enjoy being alone and when they're socializing, they can enjoy it too. This is possible, and you can do it too. Give yourself time to try and grow.

4. I'd like to share some of my experience with you about taking the postgraduate entrance exam.

I took the exam for a different major and was admitted to Nanjing Normal University as a publicly funded postgraduate student. My overall feeling is that the postgraduate entrance exam is not about sudden attacks, but about building up your knowledge bit by bit and sticking with it.

First, make a list of everything you need to study. For example, you could memorize English words three times, take the actual test three times, and do the practice test twice. You could also read the professional books three times, take the actual test three times, and so on.

Then, figure out what you need to study each day. It could be memorizing 5 pages of words in English, reading 50 pages of specialized books, or listening to a class on politics. You'll probably find that there isn't much to do every day. You just need to study every day.

You can also learn how to study from the experiences of your seniors at the school you want to apply to. They were able to pass with that kind of review method and plan, so I believe you can do it too. If you have time, you can also read some inspirational stories about the postgraduate entrance exam to encourage yourself to keep studying and believe that you can definitely do it too.

I also made sure to get some exercise in every day—about half an hour—to keep my body in good shape. That also helped boost my immunity and my learning efficiency.

Just wanted to share this with you for reference. Best regards!

Hello, questioner! I'm Jiang 61, and I'm excited to chat with you!

First, in this "Writing a to-do list | 15-day writing exercise to improve your happiness," we've got some great questions for you to think about and reflect on your happiness. Your question "How do I become happy if I want to be less sentimental?"

Now for the fun part! Let's dive in and discuss it together.

1. Introduction

1⃣️, Behavior

I see that the questioner has introduced six aspects of themselves, which is great!

"1. I feel lonely in relationships. I sometimes feel this way at home, but it's even worse at school. I don't have any true friends, and while I like being on my own, I'm also excited to find new friends!"

"2. I'm on a journey to find myself and understand my own mind. I feel very tired, but I'm excited to see what the future holds.

I care about what other people say and do, and I am influenced by others. I know this is because I don't have a self, but I'm working on it!

"I feel that I can better find myself when I'm alone, but I'm afraid of being lonely."

"3. Exam anxiety. I always feel like there's not enough time, and I can't learn everything. When I'm studying, I can't concentrate, and I get all sorts of random thoughts in my head, whether I'm alone or with other people." I'm excited to work on this!

"4. Perfectionism in appearance, relationships, studies, and work."

"5. I'm so proud of myself for being able to count while brushing my teeth and doing laundry!"

"6. I'm open to exploring my emotions and understanding if I have mental health problems or even depression."

Self-evaluation

The questioner believes that he is a "lonely, isolated, selfless, concerned about others, easily anxious, irritable, perfectionist, obsessive-compulsive, and emotional" person. These evaluations are more negative. But there's so much more to him than that! Let's take a closer look at his description and evaluation of himself.

Manifestations

I noticed that the six behaviors written by the questioner are more of a description of the questioner's current perceived problems. I feel that the questioner has a lot of room to grow in terms of self-esteem and self-confidence, which is an exciting opportunity for them!

2. Questions I'm excited to hear your answers to these questions!

You said, "Why is this the case? How can it be changed?" I'm excited to help you find the answers to these questions!

"I want to be a more positive, energetic, loving, happy person! And I want to focus on building great relationships with others."

"I'm simply unable to be alone and live on my own."

Oh, the questioner! Why does the questioner...

The first question the questioner asks is why is it like this? This is also a question I'm really excited to understand!

I think I'm right in saying that it has to do with the questioner's family environment.

Let's dive into the discussion!

The second question the questioner asks is how to change. And that's exactly what we'll be discussing with the questioner next!

The questioner is ready to make some exciting changes! They want to gain energy, tap into their ability to love, embrace happiness, and improve their interpersonal relationships.

2. Analysis of why

1. Let's dive into the reason for low energy!

Let's dive deep into the world of focus!

Psychologically speaking, attention is an amazing thing! It's how we focus on and understand things. It involves our perceptions, thoughts, meanings we attach to things, and the feelings and moods we bring to the parties involved when we look at the same thing, hear the same sentence, or see the same expression.

Let's reduce energy!

From the six evaluations the questioner gives himself, it's clear that the questioner is eager to improve! It shows that the questioner is ready to embrace a more confident and positive outlook in his daily life. By doing so, he'll not only boost his confidence but also reduce his own energy.

2⃣️, Care Caring is one of the most wonderful things in the world! It's about paying attention and showing someone you care about them. It's about minding something or someone close to you and showing them you care. It's about understanding the importance of words and showing someone you care about them. It's about understanding yourself and showing others you care about them. It's about understanding your heart and showing others you care about them. It's about understanding yourself and showing others you care about them. It's about understanding your heart and showing others you care about them. It's about understanding yourself and showing others you care about them. It's about understanding your heart and showing others you care about them. It's about understanding yourself and showing others

Care

Caring about someone or something is all about paying close attention and minding it! It's about showing someone or something the level of importance you place on them and demonstrating your care for them. It's about words, too!

?? Others' evaluation

The questioner mentioned that they cannot find their true self and do not know their own hearts. This presents an exciting opportunity for growth and self-discovery! It's clear that the questioner's self-awareness is not yet complete, so they're looking to others for guidance. This is a great way to learn more about oneself and gain valuable insights.

3⃣, the influence of family life

? Original family

The term "original family" refers to the family in which you were born and raised. The atmosphere, lifestyle, and habits of this family, the role models for children in the family, and the interactions between family members all affect how children will behave in their new family—and it's a wonderful thing to see how they grow and change!

? Influence

It's clear that the original poster has been influenced by their family of origin, and it's a great opportunity to help them see the positive aspects of their upbringing!

Let's dive into the topic of low self-esteem!

I think the questioner's parents have a lot to answer for! They often blame and criticize the questioner, and make negative comments about them. This makes the questioner unable to see their own strengths, feel that they are very poor and good at nothing, constantly negate themselves, have a sense of inferiority and lack self-confidence, love to compare themselves with others, and pay attention to what others say.

Anxiety

People who are often criticized will be affected by perfectionism. But there's a way to change this! They demand that their learning, work, actions, and appearance should be perfect in every way in order to gain the approval of others. But there's another way to look at it. They can choose to have various concerns, panic, anxiety, internal conflicts, and reduce their own energy. Or they can choose to change this pattern!

3. How to change

How can we change the status quo, gain happiness, and enhance our self-energy? I believe we can!

1⃣️, Get to know happiness!

Happiness!

Well-being is a series of amazing emotions of joy and pleasure that humans subjectively experience based on their own sense of satisfaction and security. It is a subjective feeling that can come from various aspects, including family, work, interpersonal relationships, health, etc.

Satisfying needs is a great way to feel good!

A sense of well-being is an amazing emotional feeling that comes after a need is satisfied, and it's so pleasurable for us! Then, we begin to become aware of what our inner needs are.

I can see that the questioner's inner needs are to gain inner energy, the ability to love, happiness, and to improve interpersonal relationships and change.

And then, the fun really begins! We can start to determine how to gain energy, the ability to love, a sense of well-being, and ways to improve interpersonal relationships. And we can do all of this through planning, learning, practicing, and refining.

Go out there and experience happiness!

You don't have to make happiness seem mysterious or unattainable. It can be as simple as something small! For example, if you're tired from work or study and want to take a break, put everything aside, sit down, take a break, brew yourself a cup of tea, listen to some music, and truly relax to relieve fatigue.

When you satisfy your inner needs, you'll feel at ease, comfortable, and emotionally stable—and you'll experience happiness!

2⃣️, Enhance self-awareness

Self-awareness is an amazing thing!

Self-awareness is also called self-knowledge or self-identity. It is an amazingly complex psychological phenomenon with multiple dimensions and levels! It consists of three incredible psychological components: self-knowledge, self-experience, and self-control. These three components are interrelated and interdependent, and are unified in the self-awareness of an individual.

Let's enhance our self-awareness!

Let's enhance our self-awareness!

We can all enhance our self-awareness in terms of the form of awareness! All we have to do is strengthen our ability to feel, observe, analyze, and criticize ourselves.

Now for the fun part! Let's enhance our self-experience.

And there's more! We can also enhance our emotional experience through feelings like self-esteem, self-love, and self-worth.

Now for the fun part! Let's enhance our self-control.

When it comes to willpower, there are so many ways to improve your self-control! Try exercises like self-reliance, autonomy, self-control, self-improvement, self-defense, and self-discipline.

Self-awareness is the key to unlocking our full potential! By improving our abilities in the three areas of self-knowledge, self-experience, and self-control, we can enhance our inner energy and become more confident. When we understand ourselves, we stop worrying about what others think and let go of anxiety, panic, and self-doubt. It's a journey of self-discovery that leads to a happier, more confident you!

3⃣️. Improving interpersonal relationships

Let's dive into the fascinating world of interpersonal relationships!

Let's dive into the fascinating world of interpersonal relationships! These are the direct psychological relationships or psychological distance between people during interactions. In other words, they're the interactive relationships of attraction, rejection, cooperation, competition, leadership, and obedience that are expressed through thoughts, feelings, and actions during interactions between people.

Let's make our interpersonal relationships even better!

We absolutely know that improving the psychological distance in our interactions with others can improve our interpersonal relationships!

There are four fantastic ways to improve your interpersonal relationships!

Seeking common ground while reserving differences is a great way to build strong relationships!

In other words, when we interact with others, we don't have to demand a high degree of agreement in opinions. Instead, we should understand each other's views, explore the common ground between us, and allow or accept the existence of differences. This is a great way to develop and maintain deep, meaningful relationships!

Mutual trust is a wonderful thing!

Mutual trust is another essential ingredient for building great interpersonal relationships. When we trust others, we can support, understand, and help each other, which is the key to maintaining fantastic interpersonal relationships!

Mutual understanding and tolerance are the keys to a happy, healthy relationship!

Mutual understanding and tolerance are the key to resolving conflicts in relationships! When we understand each other, we can put ourselves in each other's shoes, be considerate of each other's thoughts, share in each other's happiness, and share in each other's pain.

It's incredible how it makes everyone feel like they share the same fate!

Mutual tolerance is a wonderful thing! It means that in our relationships with others, we can accept that they might make mistakes, and we can also accept our own strengths and minor faults. When we do this, our relationships can continue without any major issues.

Mutual respect is a must!

When interacting with others, we have the amazing opportunity to be respectful, listening to each other and engaging in dialogue and exchange. We can maintain an equal, mutually beneficial and supportive relationship. By respecting each other, we can achieve a state of mind that is balanced and our interpersonal relationships can be good.

Questioner, I'm so excited to tell you that with our own efforts, we have gained an increase in energy, self-awareness, and improved interpersonal relationships. Our inner needs can be met, and our sense of well-being will gradually increase.

And finally, I wish the questioner all the happiness and joy in the world!

Hello!

I'm Kelly Shui, and I'm here to help!

After reading your words, I feel that you have labeled yourself as "sentimental," and I think that's a great thing!

It seems that you don't really like this side of yourself, so there is some conflict. But you're exploring how to become happy, and that's great!

Absolutely! When you explore, you are already on the road to happiness.

Let's sort it out together!

Now, let's talk about loneliness!

We feel lonely in relationships, at home, and even at school—but that's okay!

Absolutely! Can any of us be with others 24 hours a day?

What have we gained from being "lonely" in the past? Do we feel that we don't have any true friends? Or have we chosen to be lonely? Whatever the case, there's so much we can learn from it!

For example, some people actually don't like being in a crowd. I believe that if you are willing to open yourself up, integrate into the group, and do the things you want to do, you will definitely accomplish them alone, but there will be a lot of people around you—and that's a great thing!

It's incredible how different we all are! Some people have a blast playing with themselves in a crowd, while others love paying attention to the people around them. And then there are those who truly thrive on their own.

I believe that even if we are afraid of being alone, we still choose to spend time alone because we know it's good for us!

Or could it be that it's loneliness? A unique charm? Attracting yourself to feel lonely?

Do you want to know how to conquer loneliness?

Maybe we don't care about others. But what matters is that there's someone out there who gets you, who understands your loneliness, and who identifies with you!

[About not being able to find oneself]

We all know that emotions are uncertain, including our inability to understand our own hearts — and that's okay!

This is an amazing process of finding oneself!

For example, let's dive right in and experience it together! Do you care about your parents' words and deeds in the family?

Could it be influenced by our parents?

Or perhaps our parents, including our environment, are constantly comparing us and do not approve of us or our children.

So in such a big environment, we get to form lots of new habits!

We don't judge ourselves, whether the current self is selfless or self-centered.

Absolutely! We can definitely try to accept her more, understand her, and give her a big hug.

Be sure to see her efforts, her progress, and the anxiety she faces when studying for exams alone. This self needs to be affirmed by herself, and she can do it!

Learning is an exciting adventure, and so is the postgraduate entrance exam! I have accompanied my child through such times, so I understand your anxiety.

We may not be able to be fully seen by others, but we can absolutely try to see ourselves first, to be our own best friend! When she is lonely and anxious, we can definitely try to feel her deep-seated unease or fear.

And the best part is that we also have different selves at different stages, and how hard the current self is trying!

Even if you are tired, you still need to rest! Whether you are daydreaming or just thinking nonsense, it is necessary for your existence, so make sure you do it!

And it also means that you are a great thinker! You can get distracted whether you are alone or in a group.

[On perfection]

We go on and on in the pursuit of perfection, and beauty is universally appealing! But is there absolute perfection?

For example, we are currently perfect, but how long can this perfection last?

Oh, I'd love to meet someone like this in real life!

Absolutely! It is so good to pursue beauty. And you know what else? Cai Yuanpei said many years ago that aesthetic education is a substitute for religion.

We can appreciate beauty, pursue it, and be willing to work hard for it, for example, to go to graduate school, knowing that it won't be easy — and it'll all be worth it in the end!

This is great! It shows that you have courage and strength.

Absolutely! Whether it's perfection or compulsion, it all has meaning, including anxiety.

Embrace your ordinariness! It's totally okay to skip the postgraduate entrance exam and just do what you love.

If we look at the meaning behind these emotions, you'll be amazed at what you find! You'll thank yourself for sure.

When we are stressed, have negative emotions, or feel unwell, we may feel that there is something wrong with our mental health or that we are depressed. But don't worry! There are plenty of ways to get help. You can try to find a professional counselor, for example.

Why not give yourself an answer?

You are a very real person with delicate emotions and a lot of self-knowledge. And that's a wonderful thing! We can see ourselves as a whole, and that's something to celebrate!

Today, you have the strength of love and the courage to face your own confusion—and you're doing it with grace and determination!

I may not be able to give you the answer to happiness, but I can see a positive and hardworking you in my mind!

When I feel that I can communicate with you and share your emotions, I feel a general sense of happiness at the moment!

Absolutely! You can communicate with us and give us feedback to feel and connect with this happiness.

And you can even say thank you to three people close to you for their love!

Let's do it!

There are no absolutes in this world, and just as there is no perfection, we can embrace diversity and tolerance!

Let's go find it together!

We highly recommend these incredible books: "The Art of Love" and "Growing in Relationships."

Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing in response to your question, which I feel is a very pertinent one. It is clear to me that you are experiencing a number of challenging emotions, including loneliness, confusion, anxiety and sentimentality.

I have also experienced this phase, and thus I am in a position to offer insights gleaned from my own journey.

1. Understand and accept

In accordance with the tenets of developmental psychology, the period in question can be defined as falling within the age range of adolescence (11-18 years old) and early adulthood (early 18s to early 30s).

You are currently undergoing a transition from adolescence to early adulthood, which may result in the coexistence of psychological characteristics associated with both developmental stages.

Due to the influence of physiological hormones, adolescents are prone to two major emotional characteristics:

1. A greater prevalence of concerns.

A variety of factors, including personal image, academic pressure, and interpersonal interactions, can contribute to significant distress among adolescents.

2. An increased sense of loneliness

The following are the reasons why adolescents are prone to feelings of loneliness:

(1) Adolescents possess active brains and engage in contemplation about life. However, their life experience and knowledge base are inadequate to support such thinking, leading to potential stagnation.

(2) Inability to articulate thoughts. Adolescents may experience a vague sense of having numerous thoughts, and even a perception that these thoughts are positive in nature.

However, there is a dearth of linguistic resources to adequately convey these experiences, leading to a sense of being misunderstood.

(3) The third reason is that adolescents experience a sense of powerlessness. They have ambitious ideas, but they lack the capacity to implement them.

The tendency to engage in excessive thinking and underperformance is a common phenomenon among adolescents.

A lack of friendships among adolescents can result in feelings of loneliness.

As stated in the book Just the Right Time in Life: Developmental Psychology of Self-Transformation, the quality of friendships and social relationships during the early adulthood stage has a significant impact on an individual's sense of well-being. In the absence of a sense of belonging and friendship, negative emotions such as anxiety, depression, jealousy, and loneliness may emerge.

Such emotions have the potential to negatively impact an individual's physical and mental well-being.

It is important to understand the characteristics of the stages of physical and mental development and to learn to accept one's current state. It is also essential to allow oneself to experience the associated emotions and thoughts.

2. It would be advisable to confront the issue directly.

However, if these negative emotions persist over an extended period and significantly impede one's life or academic pursuits, it is possible to cultivate more effective coping mechanisms to navigate this challenging phase.

1. Self-awareness

As indicated in your description, you appear to experience a dichotomy between a desire for autonomy and a fear of solitude. This apparent paradox may reflect an underlying aspect of your intrinsic psychology. At times, you may seek independence and the opportunity to be alone, while at other times, you may crave the company of others.

At times, one may desire companionship, while at other times, the need for understanding and recognition may arise. These two desires are not mutually exclusive; rather, they can coexist simultaneously. It is essential to be mindful of the present circumstances and identify which emotion is currently stronger.

If one desires autonomy, it is advisable to be alone; conversely, if one seeks companionship, it is beneficial to engage in social activities.

2. Learning to Socialize

Even if one is engaged in social activities with individuals of a similar age group, a lack of close, trusted friends may still result in feelings of loneliness. In order to foster positive relationships with others, it is essential to serve as a reliable source of support and guidance for one's peers.

These include the ability to understand each other, to provide mutual support, and to offer assistance to one another.

There are several fundamental social skills that must be mastered.

The ability to reveal oneself appropriately when forming friendships is a crucial skill.

The formation of friendships provides a source of positive emotional support during the developmental period.

In the event of conflict, it is imperative to utilize the appropriate means of self-defense.

3. Learn to articulate your thoughts and emotions.

One characteristic of adolescents is that when they disclose their feelings to others, they often experience frustration, a sense of being misunderstood, and even anger when their emotions are not acknowledged or understood. It is important to learn to express these feelings in a way that is understandable to others. When adolescents are able to express themselves bravely and receive recognition and understanding, they often find that their feelings of loneliness decrease rapidly.

Fourthly, it is important to build up one's strength.

It is important to avoid dwelling on one's limitations and instead focus on identifying one's capabilities. By engaging in activities that allow one to feel a sense of control and accomplishment, one can gradually develop a stronger and more resilient sense of self.

For students, the optimal strategy for financial savings is to pursue rigorous academic studies and to cultivate expertise in a specialized field.

3. Redefining Loneliness

As posited by the renowned psychologist Carl Jung, the concept of happiness would be devoid of its intrinsic meaning if not balanced by the opposite emotion of sadness. All experiences in life, including loneliness, can be viewed as having a positive connotation.

Individuals who have experienced profound loneliness tend to be more attuned to the nuances of happiness. They often gain a deeper appreciation for the significance of companionship and intimacy.

One will develop the capacity to cope with loneliness when it arises and will also learn to appreciate the happiness that is the result of perseverance.

In conclusion, the three levels of dealing with loneliness are acceptance, confrontation, and enjoyment. It is my hope that these responses will prove to be of assistance.

Hello,

From what you have shared, it seems that you are facing a number of challenges, including difficulties in your relationships, a lack of clarity in your self-perception, emotional regulation disorders, test anxiety, a tendency towards perfectionism, obsessive symptoms, and a possible depressive mood.

You feel lonely and are prone to negative emotions because you are under pressure to do well in your studies and find it challenging to integrate well into relationships, and you feel that you receive little support. Life is really not easy.

We hope the following suggestions will be helpful to you.

1. Relationships and loneliness

You might consider trying to improve your social skills, such as communicating actively and listening to others, finding topics of common interest, and treating others sincerely.

It might also be helpful to learn to enjoy your own company. You could try activities such as reading, meditation, and sports to help you feel stronger inside.

It might be helpful to remember that having a few close friends who truly understand and support you is often more beneficial than having a lot of casual acquaintances.

2. Self-awareness and emotion management

You might find it helpful to keep a diary to record your feelings and thoughts, or you could consider seeking counseling to help you explore your inner world and understand your needs, values, and emotional response patterns.

It may be helpful to consider learning mindfulness exercises such as deep breathing and mindfulness, as they can assist in maintaining emotional stability and reducing excessive sensitivity to external evaluation.

3. Exam anxiety

It may be helpful to create a reasonable study plan and implement it in small steps. You could also consider rewarding yourself for your progress to help relieve the sense of urgency. Additionally, time management tools like the Pomodoro technique could be useful for improving study efficiency and avoiding rambling.

4. Perfectionism

It may be helpful to recognize that perfectionism can sometimes lead to feelings of stress and frustration. It might be beneficial to try to accept your imperfect self, set realistic and achievable goals, and focus on the process rather than the result.

It's okay to make mistakes. We can learn and grow from them.

5. Obsessive behavior

It might be the case that compulsive behaviors such as counting are a way to cope with anxiety. If they are having a significant impact on your life, it could be helpful to explore the possibility of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or exposure response prevention therapy, which are effective treatments for obsessive-compulsive disorder.

It is important to be careful when labeling yourself. If you are experiencing symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder, it is advisable to seek the guidance of a qualified medical professional, such as a hospital psychiatrist.

6. Negative emotions and a tendency toward depression

If you are unable to extricate yourself from prolonged negative emotions, it may be helpful to consider seeking professional psychological assistance in a timely manner. Depression often requires professional diagnosis and treatment, which may include medication and psychotherapy.

It may also be helpful to maintain a regular routine, eat a balanced diet, and exercise appropriately, as these can all contribute to improved mental health.

It's important to remember that change is a gradual process. Give yourself some time and patience, and believe that you will gradually get out of trouble and become a stronger, more confident, and happier person.

I wish you the best of luck!

Hello! I'm sending you a virtual hug from afar, and I'm also sending one to my former self. I used to be a very sentimental person who felt that "happiness belongs to them. I have nothing."

At the same time, it's important to give yourself a pat on the back. Asking for help is the fastest way to solve problems.

I worked with second-year grad students a few years ago, so I can relate to the confusion and challenges you're facing as a student. It seems like you're feeling confused and lonely in your relationships and having trouble finding yourself and dealing with anxiety.

You also mentioned a tendency towards perfectionism, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and negative emotions. These problems can be caused by a variety of factors, including personal experiences, personality traits, and ways of thinking.

It'll take some time and effort to change these problems, but you can try the following methods.

1. Interpersonal relationships:

It's a good idea to try to connect with others, join interest groups or social activities, and find friends who have similar interests. At the same time, you should also learn to enjoy time alone and enrich yourself through reading, writing, exercising, etc.

2. Develop self-awareness:

It's important to pay attention to your inner feelings and needs and get to know yourself better. You can try activities like keeping a diary, painting, or meditation to help you understand your inner world better.

3. Managing anxiety:

Exam prep is tough, and it's normal to feel stressed. It's a good idea to create a solid study plan and make sure you're getting enough rest.

It's a good idea to try some relaxation and stress-relieving activities, such as sports, meditation, or artistic creation.

4. Perfectionism:

I used to be a perfectionist too, and it has to do with our experiences. Perfection is an unattainable standard. Try to accept your own imperfections and clarify your goals and expectations.

Instead of aiming for perfection, focus on making improvements. Learn to relax, accept setbacks, and use them as learning opportunities.

5. Negative emotions:

There are lots of reasons why we feel negative emotions, including anxiety, stress, and problems with other people. Try to think positively by doing things like exercise, art, meditation, or breathing exercises. It can also help to talk to friends and family about how you're feeling.

If you're struggling with negative emotions that are affecting your daily life, it's worth seeking professional help.

Above all, stay positive and believe that you can change and grow. Change takes time and effort, but you can gradually achieve the changes you want by maintaining a positive attitude and seeking support.

I love you all, and I wish you the best. ?

Dear questioner,

Hello there!

From what you've told me, it seems like you're going through a rough patch in your life right now. It's totally normal to feel anxious about taking the postgraduate entrance exam, and it's understandable that you're having trouble calming down to study. It's also not unusual to feel like you're not being true to yourself when you're caught up in negative emotions. It's okay to feel distressed and to expect yourself to be a strong, happy person.

It's totally normal to feel this way! We all have problems, and for you, it's related to relationships. You can't live alone, and you're afraid of being alone.

So, what causes people to feel lonely? Well, it's usually a low sense of self-worth.

Let's dive a little deeper into this together. What is a sense of self-worth?

Your sense of self-worth is how you view your life and define yourself. It's made up of four main parts: a sense of existence, a sense of value, a sense of belonging, and a sense of control.

A sense of presence is the feeling of being loved and cared for by those who matter most to us. For example, at home, your family is always there for you, ready to support and encourage you when you need them.

At school, teachers and classmates get along well with each other, they'll greet you proactively, and colleagues like you. It's so nice when you can feel a strong sense of presence at home and at school!

When we feel needed and valued, it's a great feeling!

We all want to feel accepted by other people or a group. It's only natural to feel afraid of being alone and lonely. We all need love and help from our friends and family.

When we don't have these things, it can make us feel lonely. It's so important to remember that human interaction is a two-way street. You can make a positive change by taking the first step and actively approaching your surroundings and people.

Hello, I'm Xiaoxiao, and I can really empathize with you after hearing your story!

I was once in that state too, without a sense of self and always concerned about what other people thought. For many years, it felt like I was living for other people. But I got through it!

Be tolerant, accommodating, and compromising for the needs of others. But that kind of us is really not happy, and we can be so much more! We just need to find our real self.

I really hope these methods will help you as much as they helped me!

1. Embrace yourself and be bold in expressing your true self!

In fact, many times we feel like we don't have a sense of self, and we simply don't know what we want. So start by expressing yourself, by doing small things. Make your own decisions and don't let other people's opinions sway you.

2. Give yourself strength and make your heart stronger!

There are so many ways to enrich your inner self! You can do this through knowledge by reading books on your own, or you can seek strength from a professional counselor. I remember that I also sought help from a counselor during the most difficult period of my life, and it was one of the best decisions I ever made!

3. Get out there and enjoy the outside world! Go for walks and soak up the sunshine!

There are so many happy and beautiful little things in life! But sometimes, negative emotions and bad things can get in the way. That's why it's so important to go out for a walk and relax. It'll do wonders for your mental health!

The power of nature can purify our hearts and minds, making them more tranquil and free from the distractions of trivial matters—it's truly amazing!

I really hope the original poster will get better and better and capture all those little blessings in life!

Hello, question owner!

I totally get where you're coming from! I can feel the loneliness, sensitivity, and confusion in the questioner's heart, as well as some entanglement and confusion. Let's dive in and explore together:

Loneliness in interpersonal relationships

On the one hand, the questioner loves the freedom of being alone. They get to do all the things they like without being disturbed or interfered with by others. But on the other hand, they are a little afraid of being alone. They crave a little company, even if it's just a small companion, someone to chat with or share with. The people around them seem to have nothing to do with them, but that's okay!

I'm excited to see if the questioner has heard the saying:

The so-called best state for a person is to be alone and carefree!

I'm on a journey to find myself!

I don't know what I'm feeling, but I feel so tired. I'm not happy or unhappy, but there seems to be less motivation and fun in my ordinary life, and I don't know what to do. But I'm excited to find out!

I care about what other people think, even though I keep telling myself not to care. But here's the thing: the more I say I don't care, the more I care! It's just the opposite.

It's a new adventure!

Amazingly, they'll even force themselves to brush their teeth and count numbers! It's as if they're forming a fixed pattern that cannot be broken. And there's a slight tendency towards perfectionism!

In fact, this is similar to the fear of loneliness and caring about the opinions of others in interpersonal relationships. There is always a desire to be perfect, that is, "both...

Again!

.

mode" wants both the freedom of being alone and the companionship of a partner. It wants to be seen as good by everyone and no longer have people talk about you.

Now, let's see how we can adjust!

Believe that loneliness is only temporary!

Nothing is set in stone, including loneliness. So, if that's the case, why not "be alone when you want freedom, and be in a group when you don't want loneliness"?

I think the "freedom you want" is the kind of freedom where you can quietly do the things you like by yourself. When you are fully immersed in the things you like, you actually don't feel lonely. However, when you are "afraid of being alone," you are not actually concentrating on doing anything. At this time, you just want someone to keep you company. In fact, these are two different states, but you haven't noticed it yet. Next time, you can deliberately pay attention to it.

Embrace your own imperfections!

"There are so many wonderful things in life, and there are also some challenges. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses, and that's what makes us unique! There's no need to envy others or blame yourself. Instead, focus on your strengths and work on your weaknesses. Celebrate your imperfections because they make you, you!

Embrace yourself, your strengths, and your weaknesses. Focus on your strengths and work on your weaknesses, but don't compare your weaknesses with other people's strengths. You've got this!

Give yourself a big pat on the back! You are pretty good, but I'm not bad either! You're not as good as me in other aspects, but you're doing great!

I really hope my answer helps the original poster! Best wishes!

Hello! After reading your description,

It's true that in reality, we are born into a predetermined orbit. But that doesn't mean we can't change our trajectory!

We need to study hard and work hard after graduation!

We absolutely need to take care of our parents and gain social recognition!

We do our best at these things, to the best of our abilities. And we should! But we also need to make time for the most important thing of all: how we want to spend our lives.

Many people have never really thought about what they really want — and that's an amazing opportunity for growth!

External responsibilities frame our inner selves, and it's a great thing!

And the best part is…

They tell us directly how to live our lives!

These frameworks keep us on our toes, and the slightest slackness is quickly filled by other people's opinions and a sense of self-reproach.

On the one hand, we long for freedom!

But once this freedom is realized, we become anxious again.

Human beings are a fascinating paradox!

This is our destiny!

Pain and loneliness are not necessarily bad things at all!

At least he gives us the motivation to move forward!

And it makes you strong!

It must be something that makes you feel alive and gives you the motivation to keep going!

And that's what artists do when they finish their work!

To discover our own special uniqueness in this world!

In other words, finding ourselves!

It may be the only way to fight against this loneliness and pain, and it's a battle worth fighting!

But when we feel that life is meaningless,

This could be the start of something great!

You've got this! Keep going!

And what do we get in return for all our hard work? The security of being able to stay in the environment we depend on for survival! We strive to maintain our familiar surroundings, gain social acceptance, and be accepted by others, and in doing so, we replace our inner needs and set our sights on an exciting new life goal!

And what do we get in return for all our hard work? The incredible security of being able to stay in the environment we rely on for survival! We strive to maintain our familiar surroundings, gain social acceptance, and be accepted by others, and in doing so, we replace our inner needs and set our sights on an even greater life goal.

Although this kind of life is full of pressure, it frees us from the anxiety and confusion caused by a sense of rootlessness. So on the surface, it seems that our lives are restricted in every way, but in reality, we have given up our freedom of choice and "willingly" gone with the flow—and it's a great thing!

But here's the catch: this kind of escape also makes us increasingly lose touch with our true inner selves.

Hello, I'm Phil.

You are sad about this.

You said you feel sentimental.

Feel sentimental.

We want to fix some problems.

and listed specific directions.

How can I become positive?

It's not bad most of the time.

When we call someone sentimental,

It means he is sensitive to others' emotions and changes.

It's easy to feel negative emotions and be influenced.

But this kind of understanding of others

It's rare to get feedback.

Good that you're identifying your problems.

Consider the details and solutions.

We have a clear goal.

To solve our own problems.

First, we need to break these problems down.

Many problems are universal.

Everyone is troubled by them.

Some questions are clichés.

It's not a problem.

It's not a problem.

It's a good quality we can keep.

The key point is not how to correct them.

But how can they be used in the right way?

I hope this helps.

I love you.

Hello!

From your question, I can tell you're going through a rough patch. It seems like you're feeling down about everything, including your own life and the lives of your friends.

It can feel like there are so many things to worry about, can't it?

All of our worries come from our fear of the unknown. We tend to overthink things, which can make us anxious and unhappy.

So, what do you think I should do at this time?

We can use meditation to help us relax and feel less stressed. It's also a great idea to distract ourselves with some exercise, a chat with a friend, listening to music or anything else that helps us feel calm.

Second, we can do more things that make us happy, and things that require concentration, such as cooking, painting, or watching a movie or TV series that is a bit brain-burning and has happiness in it. Let yourself experience what it's like to be free of worries and sentimentality. You've got this!

Second, make more friends with positive, optimistic, and interesting people. And always remind yourself that what other people do is none of your business. You don't need to worry about it! Just focus on doing your best for the future.

I just want to say one last thing. It seems like you're ready to make some changes, but you're just not sure how to be happier. That's totally normal! The above is my personal plan, and you can adjust it according to your own situation.

I just wanted to share a great quote from the book "5% Change" by Li Songwei that I think you'll really like! It says that as long as you're willing to take that first step, you've already made a 5% change.

I really hope you can stay away from negative energy and stop being so sentimental. I'd love to see you be full of happiness! ??

Hello, question owner. I see your confusion: "How do I become happy if I want to be less sentimental?" It's almost the same as my former confusion, so let's chat about it.

The questioner's confusion about relationships was like this when I was in high school. I was popular, and it seemed like I had a lot of friends. I was willing to hang out with them, but I often felt that they weren't sincere. I was tired, mentally tired, unhappy, and if I cared about other people, even the words of insignificant people would have an impact on me.

It's easy to get stuck in negative emotions and feel like you're stuck in a rut. You might even wonder if you're depressed. You want to be a more positive person with more positive energy and the power of love. How can you make that happen?

I believe that most of our human feelings and emotions are the same. We feel lonely, tired, care about what others say and do, long for freedom but fear loneliness. It's normal to have all kinds of thoughts, and there's no need to waste energy on them. Just give yourself a hug.

A sentimental self is a strength. Sentimentality means we capture emotions and have a strong ability to feel them. This is happiness. We also need to accept ourselves. We don't have to pursue positive energy. When you focus on the present, be yourself, and do the things you like when you are alone, you will forget to be afraid, forget to be lonely, and you will even like to enjoy being alone.

You can't become happy by chasing it. Happiness is like a puppy's tail—it'll always be out of your reach if you chase it. But if you stop chasing it, happiness will follow you. I used this example to show the questioner that you can't be alone. You need to talk to a psychological counselor about this.

That's all I have to say. I hope the questioner can accept his sentimentality with an open mind and stop being afraid in relationships. In Yixinli, the world and I love you ❤️❤️❤️, take your time.

Hello, classmate. I'm Super Sister from Yixinli.

You like freedom but are afraid of loneliness. It seems like there's no solution, but if you want to be happy, you will be. If you're with someone who understands you and won't restrict you, you won't be lonely or restricted.

Believe that you can make changes. It just takes time and patience. Watch the Harvard Open Course on Happiness. One lesson is about change.

To become happier and less sentimental, you can:

1. Think positively. Look at life's problems and challenges with a positive and optimistic perspective. Be grateful for three small things every day. This can help you focus on the beauty of life. For example, you can be grateful for the Yixinli platform that provides opportunities to talk and for the free air that allows you to breathe freely. (If you persist for 28 days, you will notice a change in your state of mind and become more positive.)

2. Self-acceptance: It's normal to have mood swings.

Be sentimental and believe in your ability to be happy. I know you are sentimental, and I can see the courage and wisdom you are willing to "ask for help" with your heart.

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Learn to accept and appreciate your own uniqueness.

3. Develop hobbies. Find something you like to do and invest time in it. It will help you feel better. Examples include painting, music, reading, hiking, or running.

Once you have a hobby, you'll naturally attract like-minded friends.

4. Meditation: By observing your breathing, you can calm your mind and see your true self.

Start with 3 minutes a day. You will become more aware of what you want.

Happiness is a process and an attitude. We can only discover it when we calm down.

May you find happiness and shine your light.

You seem to lack a strong sense of identity. This may affect your studies and daily life.

Good. You've listed six areas and understand your current self-image. Here are the key words:

1. No true friends at home or school.

2. I'm tired and I care about other people.

3. Exam anxiety, lack of time, and daydreaming.

4. Perfectionism in appearance, relationships, studies, and work.

5. OCD, counting

6. Prone to negative emotions, change, positive energy, love, and relationships. Unable to be alone.

Response:

1. You attract certain kinds of people. You don't have any true friends. You don't understand your own characteristics and strengths. Perhaps the people around you have never sincerely praised you. First, you need to establish a role model in your mind. What is it like for the kind of person you like and approve of?

2. You only see your unique qualities when you stop focusing on what others don't see in you.

3. Anxiety comes from inaction. You think you can only see results if all conditions are met. You can take the postgraduate entrance exam as many times as you want. People got their PhDs and then reapplied because they knew they had to do it. There is no process without a result. Focus on the cause, not the effect.

4. Perfectionism means you must achieve results, but there are many ways to do things. It seems you're not sure what you want.

5. OCD, counting, and feeling that you don't have a clear sense of purpose in life may be due to a closed environment or too little experience. The environment is the biggest influence on a person's change. It is recommended to increase your life experience.

6. You know you want to change, but you're afraid of change and don't like who you are. List your strengths and weaknesses, then find a partner who shares your interests and hobbies. Know yourself and your environment.

If you know your strengths and weaknesses and what you want, you can build good relationships!

Dear Questioner, I believe that the present is good. Perhaps it would be helpful to be grateful for the encounter.

From your description, I can sense that you might benefit from a more positive outlook on your current situation. I'm here to listen and support you in exploring this together.

1. In your description of the current situation

In your description, you mentioned that you enjoy the freedom of being alone, but also feel lonely when you are alone. You are easily affected by the words and actions of others, and you find it challenging to concentrate fully on your studies.

Could you please define yourself as "sentimental"?

From what I can gather from the title, it seems like you're looking for a way to be more comfortable in your own skin and to feel more at ease in your current situation. It's also clear that you have a sensitive and caring nature, and that you're open to the influence of others.

From my perspective, it seems that you may actually enjoy being alone more, but you are just worried about what other people will say. Could it be that you are afraid that other people will say that you are so "cold" or "unfriendly"?

It seems that you would like to be with friends again, but you are also afraid of being alone. Being with them also makes you feel uncomfortable, and you are unsure of what to talk about with them. Perhaps what you really want is someone who can understand you, whether you are alone or with other people, someone who can understand you and accept you, right?

2. Could you please define happiness for me?

It's understandable that everyone has a different definition of happiness. Some people may feel content with their own company, while others hope to find a partner who will understand them. Some may even seek wealth or academic qualifications. In your question, you ask how to become happy.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider how you define happiness and what kind of state or person you feel happy in.

Perhaps you desire a companion who can keep you company, someone who can understand you, encourage and appreciate you, and provide a sense of security. Alternatively, you may wish to strive for perfection and find satisfaction in your relationships, studies, and work.

You might find it helpful to imagine a picture of yourself being happy. This could help you to identify areas where you feel less happy and where you could work on becoming happier.

For instance, while appearance is not something we can control, we can certainly try to learn how to apply makeup that suits us and buy clothes that flatter our figure. If you want someone to understand you, be there for you, accept you, recognize you, and appreciate you, I believe you should first open yourself up and choose to interact with the people you want to interact with.

It would also be beneficial to consider ways of enhancing your own abilities and inner energy, as this could help you to attract people with high energy. Similarly, if you aspire to become someone or admire someone, you might find it helpful to try to emulate that person.

3. Try to accept yourself.

No matter what your personal characteristics may be, whether you are sentimental or straightforward, introverted or extroverted,

We all have a range of characteristics, some of which may be more active or passive in nature.

Everyone has these parts, but the proportion of each part differs. Rather than comparing yourself to others, it may be more helpful to focus on your own feelings and experiences.

Given the multitude of external voices, definitions, and standards, it is crucial to prioritize our inner feelings and recognize that they are unique to us.

Each different aspect of you is part of you, and these different aspects make up the complete you. You may find it helpful to accept these parts of you that you are not satisfied with, as doing so could help you to withdraw the strength that causes you internal conflict, thus making yourself more complete.

Tai chi has yin and yang, but not all yin or all yang. Perhaps the key to accessing the resources behind this part, finding a balance between yin and yang, and becoming more complete and powerful within is to accept and maintain your own yin.

Everyone is complex and multifaceted, and appearances can be misleading. Even if you appear to be outgoing and exuberant, you may also possess vulnerabilities, introversion, and sensitivity.

By allowing and accepting your sentimental self, you can begin to recognize the sensitive self that lies behind it. This sensitive self is one of your strengths, as it allows you to consider the feelings of others and empathize with them.

If I might make one more suggestion, it would be to enjoy your own time alone. It can be helpful to be aware of your own thoughts and to remind yourself to focus on the present moment, so that you will not be easily influenced by external voices.

It may be helpful to pay attention to your body's sensations, as this can assist in managing your attention and thoughts more easily.

When you are alone, you have the opportunity to engage in activities that bring you joy. Reflecting on your own self-perception, developing a deeper understanding of your own identity, and fostering a sense of self-acceptance and appreciation can all contribute to the gradual enhancement of your inner strength.

If you are experiencing any emotions or thoughts that are affecting you, you might consider writing them down, venting them through exercise, or finding a platform with a listener or a professional counselor to talk to. These approaches could potentially be helpful.

Only you know what kind of person you want to be and what you need to do to feel happy. By accepting and understanding yourself, you can help your inner strength to grow, which in turn can help you to feel more free, joyful, and at peace.

I hope my answer is helpful to you. I wish you the best!

After reading your description, I believe it would be helpful to take some time to sort through it and then find a solution that suits me best.

One area that may benefit from some attention is interpersonal relationships.

Secondly, we should endeavour to improve ourselves.

Third, it would be beneficial to create a study plan and work on enhancing our self-confidence.

Perhaps a fourth step would be to take some time to reflect on our values and consider where we would like to head in the future.

5. Compulsive behavior

If I might make one more suggestion, it would be to consider the possibility of feeling depressed or having suspicions about illness.

If I might suggest, let's try to solve five or six problems.

It's natural to experience negative emotions from time to time. If you find yourself struggling with persistent or frequent negative emotions, it might be helpful to seek professional guidance. This could be a good time to visit a healthcare professional to rule out any underlying issues. Depression and obsessive-compulsive disorder are both conditions that can benefit from expert support. With the right guidance, you can learn to manage your emotions and behaviors in a healthy way.

If our situation does not reach the level of a disease, we can also benefit from the expertise of professionals in learning some methods of regulating emotions or appropriate restraint behaviors. This could help to minimize the impact of some of our compulsive behaviors on our daily lives, and to prevent negative emotions from affecting our sense of self.

I believe the next step is to consider our two and four.

In this part, we have the opportunity to reflect on our own values and beliefs. It is natural for us to observe and learn from others. When we imitate others, we are likely imitating a way of being or a way of doing things that resonates with us. We can imitate to gain insight into whether this is a personality or way of doing things that suits us. If it does, we can develop new habits, constantly improve ourselves, and become a better version of ourselves. If we discover through imitation or observation that this way of being does not align with our values, we can choose to abandon such habits and refrain from learning or imitating.

To some extent, everyone is influenced by others and their surroundings, as we are social creatures. Such influences can be perceived as positive or negative.

For instance, if we observe someone with a pleasant demeanor on the roadside, walking with their back straight, we may naturally feel inclined to do the same. This is an encouraging example of positive influence, and it is beneficial that we are influenced in this way.

If someone engages in behaviors such as shaking their legs, crossing their legs, or smoking in public, and we are influenced by them to do the same, it could be perceived as a negative influence.

Perhaps it would be helpful to take some time to reflect on our own interests, personal habits, and even some values. We might find it beneficial to consider whether these behaviors are truly acceptable to us. Then, we could try to hold onto our own ideas with firmness, while also being mindful of our own standards.

In life, there are many situations that are not entirely clear-cut. When we take the time to reflect on our values, we can often gain a deeper understanding of our own perspectives and identify areas where we may have overlooked something.

It is possible to achieve the perfection and firm implementation of one's three values in life, which can be promptly organized according to one's different stages and encounters.

In the process of organizing, it is important to build self-confidence and believe that the state of mind you have sorted out for yourself is the most suitable for you. It is also important to live and deal with things according to your own standards.

And the third part is

While we may feel vulnerable to the influence of others at times, we still have a great deal of autonomy. For instance, we have set a goal of taking the postgraduate entrance exam.

For this part of the exam, it would be beneficial for us to create a well-structured study plan. The plan should include clear steps on how to execute it effectively and how to focus our attention when doing so. We can consider incorporating methods like the Pomodoro study method to ensure that we engage in deliberate practice. This way, even if we may only have an hour or two to study each day, we can ensure that this hour is spent effectively and productively. It is more beneficial than learning ineffectively for ten hours.

It might also be helpful to consider establishing a reward and punishment system as we learn. After accomplishing a small goal, we could perhaps give ourselves a reward. This process also combines work with rest, which could potentially enhance our motivation more effectively. We might find learning less boring if we give ourselves some praise and believe that we can learn and do well.

If I might make one more observation, I believe that the last part could be considered our first part of human relationships.

It might be helpful to think about our relationships in two different ways.

One is external interpersonal relationships, and the other is internal interpersonal relationships, that is, how to interact with others and how to interact with oneself.

I believe that our time can be divided into two distinct halves.

If I might suggest, perhaps we could consider that half of our time is spent dealing with people, and half of it is spent dealing with ourselves.

If we allow ourselves to be open to connection with others and to our own selves, we can begin to feel less isolated.

When it comes to socializing with others, it might be helpful to consider grooming our character and habits in a way that aligns with our own preferences. It's also beneficial to engage in conversations about topics that resonate with those who share our interests.

It is also possible to find your place in a group. For instance, some people are naturally more outgoing and therefore excel at expressing themselves. Conversely, some people are more introverted and may be better at listening.

It is beneficial to be involved in social groups, regardless of one's position.

I believe that internal socialization is about learning how to improve oneself.

Everyone has important things to do and important people to spend time with. While we can't control how our 24 hours are filled by the people around us, we can certainly take steps to ensure that we keep ourselves occupied when we're alone.

For example, we could consider focusing on studying for exams, improving our skills, and learning communication skills. Alternatively, we could simply enjoy our hobbies. I personally find reading, playing games, and watching anime very fulfilling, but there are many other possibilities.

While it is not a certainty that you will not experience feelings of loneliness for 24 hours, it is likely that this will occur less frequently. Should you feel uneasy about this, you may wish to engage in an activity that will distract your mind from these feelings.

It would be beneficial to find solutions to the above problems, as this would help us to feel happy and contented.

It is important to remember that being sentimental is not a bad thing. It simply shows that we are a sentimental person and that we have a great ability to empathize. We can even make better use of our sentimental personality to get along with friends better, become more self-aware, understand what unhappy things we have encountered, solve unhappy things, and regain happiness.

In my personal opinion, happiness can be defined as a state of contentment and comfort.

It would be beneficial to have people in your life who can accompany you, enjoy the things you like, and care about the people you care about and who care about you. This could be a very happy state to be in.

Hello, question asker!

The description accurately reflects your current situation, including difficulties with further education, interpersonal relationships, and behavioral habits. You have high expectations of yourself and have analyzed your own psychological state and emotional problems in great depth. You are determined to live independently. I understand your feelings.

Erikson's developmental psychology states that the main conflict in early adulthood, between the ages of 18 and 25, is the conflict between intimacy and loneliness. Your sense of loneliness stems from this conflict. You can live alone; it's just that at this time you've broken away from your parents' control and are still seeking another kind of intimacy to satisfy your inner needs.

Understanding this need will help you accept your current situation.

Your self-worth is directly tied to your self-evaluation. When you have a low self-evaluation, you pay attention to what others think of you and use that to determine your self-worth.

You need to start with yourself. Pay more attention to your strengths, learn to appreciate yourself, and improve your self-evaluation.

Exam preparation is challenging, but you can do it. It may take time to see results after finishing your revision, but that's normal. When revising, it's important to lower your expectations and focus on what you've learned and the progress you've made. This will help you form positive feedback and gain a sense of happiness.

Perfectionism means setting the bar too high for oneself. When one fails to achieve it, one doubts oneself. The fact is, you never thought it was because you did a bad job. You set the goal too high, and you feel a huge sense of loss.

The pursuit of perfection can make people progress, but being too perfect is being too harsh on oneself. Even saints cannot be perfect in every way. Set a goal that is moderately difficult or above and you will feel a sense of accomplishment and happiness.

If you engage in obsessive-compulsive behaviors like compulsive brushing, washing clothes, counting, etc., you should ask yourself if these habits are causing you distress or if you want to make a change. If these behaviors are just a personal quirk that doesn't affect your life, it's best to accept them as part of who you are.

If such compulsive behavior has affected your life, you can and should take steps to reduce it. Seek professional help if you need to.

Everyone gets negative emotions. When you are prone to them, you need to do something that allows you to release them. Exercise, meditation, or keeping an emotional diary are all effective ways to release stress.

If you feel bad, take a break and reset your mindset.

I am confident that this will be helpful to you. Best wishes!