How can I coexist with my partner when we have different beliefs on raising our child?

Hello!

I totally get it! I know you feel frustrated, angry, and exhausted because your partner and you have different ideas about how to raise your child.

In every family, there are bound to be disagreements. For example, my partner and I may have different views on child-rearing, the location of our home, the choice of school, etc. If we can't agree, conflicts will arise. But that's okay! When we discuss these issues, we can make sure to remain calm and speak in a gentle tone of voice to make it easier to reach a consensus.

We really hope you find the following tips helpful!

1. Talk when both parties are calm. When opinions differ, the anger that is aroused may make it easy to express negative emotions. But don't worry! We can look for a moment of calm between the two of you to have a conversation, while being careful to speak in a gentle and euphemistic way, for example: "I think."

I think!

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this!

And so on!

2. And remember, don't argue in front of the kids!

In front of children, we have the amazing opportunity to set an example for them! It's so important to be mindful of our image. When educating children, it's best to avoid pointing out mistakes in person. Children are still young and have not yet fully formed their personalities. This can lead them to believe that what they're doing is wrong, which is definitely not the case!

3. Learn to communicate positively after disagreements arise.

Communication is so important! And calm communication is even more important. It's great to express your emotions without getting emotional. The most important thing is that the two of you can discuss educational issues calmly.

4. Learn to set boundaries and watch your relationship flourish!

Children don't belong to one person alone. A family is made up of two people who discuss things together. Both people have the right to express their own opinions, set boundaries for each other, allow different opinions to emerge, and also identify some opinions as right or wrong. Give the two people space to communicate and express themselves. You can also try to get along with each other like friends, respecting and understanding each other. I'm sure you'll see that the relationship will become more and more stable!

I'm sure you'll be able to get rid of your worries soon!

Hello, question asker! I'm Evan, a consultant in the fine-tuning school.

It's totally normal to disagree with our loved ones on how to raise our families. It can be tough to accept that our ideas on child-rearing are different from those of our loved ones. But, it's not just a challenge that affects the relationship between husband and wife. It can also have a negative impact on the growth of your child. So, how can you navigate this challenge?

Since the questioner did not describe in detail the differences or conflicts between themselves and their loved one, we are excited to help them identify where their main problem lies! Here I will also give the questioner some brief suggestions to help them deal with this situation:

Open communication is key!

It's time to have a heart-to-heart with your partner about your differences and concerns. Be honest, and don't get emotional.

It's so important to listen to each other's points of view and try to understand why we think the way we do!

It's so important to set aside a regular time to discuss parenting issues. Make sure you're both well prepared and patient!

Seek common ground!

It's so important to identify your shared goals for raising your children. You want them to be healthy, happy, and successful, right?

Once you've identified these common goals, it'll be much easier to come up with a plan to achieve them together!

Respecting differences is a great way to get along with each other!

It's so important to recognize that everyone has their own views and experiences when it comes to parenting. And the best part is that these differences are totally normal!

It's so important to respect the other person's views, even if you don't see eye to eye. And remember, never belittle or ignore them!

Seek professional advice!

If your differences are significant, it's a great idea to consult a professional parenting expert or counselor!

They can provide neutral opinions and suggestions to help you better understand each other's viewpoints and find a way to resolve your differences.

Now for the fun part! It's time to start compromising and negotiating.

Sometimes, it's a great idea for the subject to compromise and accept some of the other person's views!

Likewise, the other party may also need to compromise, which is a great opportunity for both of you to come together and find a solution that works for everyone! Both parties should be prepared to make concessions.

It's time to get creative! Negotiate a parenting plan that works for both of you and then adjust it in practice.

Keep your cool! Maintain emotional stability:

When you discuss parenting issues, try your best to remain calm and rational!

It's so important to avoid making impulsive decisions or saying hurtful things when you're emotional!

If you feel your emotions getting the better of you, don't worry! You can simply take a quick break and come back when you're feeling calm.

And don't forget to take care of yourself! Pay attention to your own physical and mental health.

It's so important to look after your physical and mental health! Long-term disagreements and conflicts can lead to stress and exhaustion, so it's vital to take care of yourself.

It's time to relax and relieve stress! Try some exercise, meditation, or meeting with friends.

If you feel that you need a little extra help to handle the situation, then why not consider seeking professional psychological counseling?

And now for something really important: child-centered!

No matter how many disagreements you have, remember that the interests of the child come first—and that's a great thing!

When making a parenting plan, it's so important to consider the needs and feelings of your children. This way, you can ensure that their growth environment is stable and beneficial!

Respect your child's ideas! Don't force your own or your partner's ideas on your child. Encourage your child to have his own ideas. Guide him to achieve his ideas in the right way.

Luckily, many families are in a similar situation, and the situation described by the questioner is not an isolated case. This is your chance to work together and compromise!

There are so many ways to find common ground and work together to create a great environment for your child's growth! Open communication, seeking common ground, respecting differences, seeking professional advice, compromise and negotiation, maintaining emotional stability, and paying attention to your own physical and mental health are all great places to start.

I really hope my answer helps the questioner!

I'm excited to share some related book recommendations with you!

"The Mystery of Child Development: 50 Myths that Affect Parents' Parenting Views": This book is a game-changer! It reveals 50 popular misconceptions about parenting and the evidence-based science behind these misconceptions from four areas: pregnancy, cognition, emotions and behaviors, and social environment. It helps you understand which parenting concepts may be wrong and avoid these misconceptions.

"Free-Range Parenting: A Guide to Parenting in the Age of Anxiety" is an absolute must-read! It's all about how to let children grow independently, rather than becoming dependent on their parents. It emphasizes that it is only through free-range parenting that parents can truly let go of their anxieties about child-rearing and enjoy the true meaning of parenting.

This book is a game-changer! It'll help you rethink your parenting style and find a parenting philosophy that is more in line with your loved one's.

"21 Lessons for the Parent" is an amazing book that provides parents with all the knowledge and skills they need to educate their children. It covers every aspect of their development, and reading it will give you a more comprehensive understanding of parenting. You'll also find lots of common topics to discuss with your partner!

Good day. I extend my warmest regards from afar.

I am pleased to see that you have requested assistance and hope that my input will provide some support and guidance. I can sense the distress and pain caused by the inability to agree on the approach to child-rearing with your loved one.

When you feel angry because you disagree with your partner about how to raise your children, it is important to recognize that the underlying cause of your frustration is the conviction on both sides that your approach to parenting is the optimal one. This belief often stems from a desire to emotionally connect with your children, which can manifest as a disagreement over the best way to raise them.

It is also important to recognise that differences in approach to family matters can hinder effective communication and understanding. For instance, when there are disagreements over educational decisions, it can be challenging to see the bigger picture and recognise the shared goal of supporting your children's academic success.

Therefore, as a couple, regardless of the conflicts you encounter, as long as you consistently focus on the desired outcome, you will not be easily swayed by the emotions associated with the conflict. Instead, you will be able to promptly resolve this aspect of the conflict in a constructive manner. Ultimately, what matters more to you is the relationship and whether or not your goal is achieved. What are your thoughts on this matter?

If both parties are certain that their approach to child-rearing is rooted in love for their child and that their partner's perspective is informed by their child's input, they can collaborate on a learning method that aligns with their child's needs. Ultimately, it is the child who determines the efficacy of their parents' methods. Therefore, the well-being of the child should be the primary consideration.

I would be interested to hear your thoughts on this matter.

I suggest you read The Awakening of the Family.

My name is Lily, the Q&A Museum's newest addition. I extend my warmest regards to you all, and I wish to express my gratitude for your continued support.