How can I deal with the effect of unrequited love on my postgraduate entrance exam preparation?

Good day.

From your inquiries, I understand that you met a woman you are interested in during the postgraduate entrance exam period. You tend to focus on your relationship with this individual, which affects your studies. Although you want to refocus on your studies, it is difficult to do so. I understand your dilemma.

You mentioned that you plan to have a discussion with her upon landing. It appears that you are currently facing two significant challenges: the uncertainty of whether you will successfully reach your destination and the challenge of navigating a potential relationship with the other individual.

From your description, it appears that the pursuit of furthering your studies and taking the postgraduate entrance exam currently takes precedence over developing a romantic relationship. Is this an accurate assessment?

We can then proceed with an analysis and discussion of the following two questions: 1. How can we minimise the impact of emotional problems on exam performance? 2. How can we improve learning efficiency?

In your response to other respondents' comments, you indicated that the other person previously engaged in daily online communication with you but then ceased contact after you politely declined their invitation to study together. You also left class prematurely due to discomfort.

It appears that you are eager to confirm the relationship. Should your partner's attitude towards you change, you may find yourself devoting all your energy to dealing with the resulting emotional changes. However, you have asked yourself to slow down and are only willing to confess to your partner after you have landed.

It appears that there is a discrepancy between your actual psychological requirements and your ideal self-requirements. It is therefore necessary to promptly adjust your psychological needs and your requirements of yourself to make them more harmonious and unified. In other words, you can reconsider and weigh the pros and cons of communicating with the other person in advance and after the exam.

Additionally, you can establish short-term objectives and long-term comprehensive strategies for your academic pursuits. When you have a structured plan in place, you can ensure that your time and attention are focused on the tasks at hand, without being diverted by external factors.

In conclusion, I recommend mindfulness meditation, running, and other methods to relieve exam stress and provide the optimal physical and mental state for exam preparation.

Best regards,

Dear question asker,

You are currently experiencing a dilemma because you are in unrequited love with a girl in your class. On the one hand, you want to focus on your studies for the entrance exam to move forward with your life, but you still have to communicate with her about your studies, and your attention is once again drawn to her, leaving you in a difficult position.

You have considered encouraging your partner to take the postgraduate entrance exam as well. It would be ideal if the two of you could attend the same university or city, as this could potentially enhance the success of your relationship. However, it seems that this girl has no intention of taking the postgraduate entrance exam.

It seems that you are currently experiencing a situation of unrequited love. It is understandable that you are anticipating various outcomes, both positive and negative, but it is important to recognize that in a relationship, both parties choose each other. It is not about who gives more or who likes more. The other person's decision to be with you should not be based on a single confession.

Perhaps you could clarify how motivated you are to prepare for the exam. Could it be that you're avoiding the pressure of the exam by being so conflicted? You could consider getting to know each other outside of studying. You still don't know much about each other, so you could find out whether the other person is single and what they think about their partner.

You may also choose to confess after the exam.

Meeting a girl on campus who makes you feel something is a valuable experience. You can do your best to get to know each other and spend more time together. While the outcome of your confession is not within your control, you can take steps to prepare for it.

If you wish to confess your love after the exam, it would be advisable to learn to deal with the fluttering in your heart and the state of being restless and uneasy because of the other person's every word and deed.

As a general rule, it is advisable to reduce contact and focus on your studies. However, it is worth considering whether this will improve communication and affect her influence on you.

There is no perfect solution in this world, but we can do what we can control and work hard on. You may wish to consider sorting out your feelings for the other person and recording them in writing. It may also help to express your feelings about unrequited love. At the same time, you could make a plan for your revision, and during the revision time, you could focus on revision. You may also wish to consider communicating with the other person about your studies at other times.

I hope this message finds you well. Please accept my best regards.

Good day, my name is Jiusi, a psychological counselor, and I hope my response will be of assistance to you.

I empathize with your situation. Unrequited love can be a significant source of distress, with a multitude of thoughts occupying your mind. You may recognize that it is not a tangible reality, yet you find it challenging to disengage.

As a result, we have lost interest in our studies. The ancients also wrote many poems to describe this, such as "Gradually my belt and sleeves grow loose, but I never regret it; I grow haggard from pining for her."

On the one hand, we experience the discomfort of longing. On the other hand, we also benefit from the positive aspects of love, although this is a one-sided feeling.

However, we must recognize that we exist in two distinct realms: our inner world and the external material world.

In order to transform our inner visions into tangible realities, it is essential to possess the requisite conditions of the external world.

I would like to offer one piece of advice to the questioner: becoming a better version of yourself is the key to solving all problems.

The feasibility of pursuing a relationship with her is contingent upon her preferences.

However, I am convinced that she has her own criteria for her ideal partner. If gaining admission to graduate school is a prerequisite for her,

The ancient Greek philosopher Epictetus said, "We must be optimistic and confident about things that are beyond our control, cautious and restrained about things that are within our control, and about things that are beyond our control. To be frank, your anxiety and fear will not help. Your anxiety will not change tomorrow, but it will affect your mood today. Your fear will not change the problem, because the only thing in life that should be feared is fear itself. But for things that are within our control, can we make good use of time? This is controllable, so you must be cautious and restrained."

I suggest that we make getting into graduate school a prerequisite for pursuing her.

If you consider this perspective, it becomes evident that our unrequited love serves as the primary motivating factor for our postgraduate entrance exams.

This allows us to maintain the current state of unrequited love and look forward to confessing our feelings to her after the exam is over. Regardless of whether we succeed or not, we have done our best. What is your opinion on this, questioner?

I hope my response is helpful to the questioner. I sincerely hope that the questioner can overcome their current confusion soon.

Thank you for your time. I am Jiusi, on Yixinli. I would like to take this opportunity to express my gratitude to you and to the world. I love you.