How can I live for myself if I can't?

Hello, host.

After reading your story, I want to give you a warm hug. I also want your permission.

You want to know how to live for yourself. Well, you can't do that if you're not living for yourself.

Read Yoko Sano's picture book story, The Cat Who Lived a Million Times. It's about a cat who lived a million times, was the cat of a million people, and died a million times. A million people shed tears of sadness because of his death, but he never shed a single tear.

He was the king's cat, and he died with the king in battle. He was the sailor's cat, and he drowned like the sailor. He was the old lady's cat, and he died of old age like the old lady. He was the magician's cat, and he died in a magic show.

The cat was tired and fed up. She didn't want to live or die anymore. This time, she wanted to be herself. She met a white cat and said to him, "Hey, I'm a cat that has lived a million times. How many times have you come back?" The white cat replied, "Really?"

The cat said, "I'm a magician. I can perform magic tricks." The white cat replied, "Really?"

The cat never mentioned the fact that it had lived a million lives. It told the white cat, "I want to be with you."

The white cat and the cat lived a shameless life, had many kittens, and in the end, the white cat slowly grew old and died. The cat shed sad tears.

This is the meaning of life. People are only truly alive when they live for themselves, and they can only be happy when they live for love.

You should definitely want to know how to live for yourself. Close your eyes and think.

You must find yourself first, then find your love. Think about what you like doing most, who you like best. These are all ways and means for you to better find yourself.

The world and I love you.

Good day, landlord. I can relate to your perspective.

"I find it challenging to live for myself. I often think about how I can earn money to support my parents."

I used to believe that I was studying hard because I was driven by a desire for knowledge. However, I later came to realise that this was not the case. Instead, I was motivated by a desire to gain the approval of my parents and to be able to compare myself to others in order to gain a sense of superiority. This is similar to what you described, where you said, "I can't live for myself, I always think about earning money to support my parents." I also have the same thoughts, and I worry about whether what I'm doing will be rewarding and whether I can repay my parents for what they've done for me. It is, however, positive that you think this way, that you are grateful and that you understand the hard work and sacrifices that your parents have made for you.

Love for children is a natural parental instinct, and raising children is a responsibility that comes with the role of a parent. It is important to recognize that parents are grateful for this role and do not expect it to be a burden. It is also essential to remember that parents want their children to enjoy their childhood and not let the responsibility of parenting affect their own lives.

"I have many interests and ambitions, but at this time, I am simply seeking a stable and fulfilling career."

I'm happy to see that you have so many interests and ambitions. Many people never discover what they truly want to do with their lives, and they may even hesitate when filling out their resume's interests and hobbies section. It's worth asking whether interests and hobbies, ambitions, and a stable job can coexist.

Could this perhaps be an act of avoidance? Is it possible to pursue one's ambitions if one has a good and stable job?

Clearly, there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Having a stable job offers the advantage of fewer changes in your life, which allows you the opportunity to pursue your interests and realize your ambitions during your free time.

"I am aware that this approach may be perceived as self-indulgent, draining, and inefficient in terms of learning, potentially causing exam anxiety.

"I'm afraid I'm unable to do that. I believe it's important to live for yourself and to do so happily."

It might be helpful to remember that living for yourself is not as difficult as it seems. One way to make choices that feel right is to trust your intuition. When you are making a choice, it can be helpful to ask yourself not what you should do for your parents, but what choice will make you happy. It's important to remember that you have to live your own life, so that you don't waste this trip to the human world!

Perhaps it would be helpful to try to stop overthinking things and just do what you can. It might be beneficial to give up some self-indulgence. In my experience, self-indulgence does not tend to bring motivation, and it can sometimes lead to discord. You are under pressure, and it's understandable that you are constantly depleting your energy. You might find it helpful to just do what you want to do and communicate honestly with your parents. It can be valuable to tell them what you really like and are really interested in. There is another way of looking at this, which is to change your perception of this lifestyle of stable work. You could try explaining what you are doing now in a way that you can accept. For example, you could think of the exam you are preparing for as preparing for your ideal life.

There are many paths in life, and they all lead to Rome. Even if what you are doing now may be very different from your ideal, as long as you always have this desire, I believe you will gradually move closer to your ideal life.

I wish you the best!

Good evening! Your question is very interesting. These days, we all say that we should live for ourselves, not for others. But I think there's a major loophole in this view. The main reason is that if we only live for ourselves, we often lose sight of the goal and meaning of living.

The fundamental reason is that it is only in relationships with others that we can truly know who we are. Without other people, it is even difficult for us to define who we are, which makes relationships with others all the more important!

For example, when we introduce ourselves, we get to say our name, which actually includes our relationship to our family.

Our gender is not just a biological concept, but also a sociological one. Gender is a fascinating topic!

Where we come from means that we come from the same place as many other people, and we are similar groups. We often say that people from different places have different common characteristics. For example, people from Beijing like to pay attention to politics, and there are cross talk performers in Tianjin per capita. This is related to geographical division, which is really fascinating!

We can only know who we are through our relationships with others. And that's a good thing! Some people may argue that they are homebodies and never go out, but there's nothing wrong with that.

But that doesn't mean you don't have a relationship with other people! For example, you need water at home, right?

You have a fantastic relationship with the water company when you use water!

So, when someone says that they don't need anyone, that they can survive on their own, I just want to give them a big, bright, beautiful, bold, brilliant, and brilliant look!

That seems a bit far-fetched, doesn't it? What I mean is that relationships with other people are the very foundation of our identity.

You might be wondering: what does this have to do with not being able to live for yourself? My point is that if you can't live for yourself, then live for others, for your responsibilities, for your mission!

In fact, in the past, Chinese people were like tools. Men did it to honor their ancestors and pass on the family name, and it was a truly admirable thing to do!

It doesn't matter if it's Zhang San or Zhang Si! Of course, it would be fantastic to have Zhang Da, the eldest son.

For women, it's about passing on the family line, and it's a truly incredible journey! They work together to raise their children, especially their sons, buying a house, a car, a daughter-in-law, and then grandchildren.

To them, this is their life's purpose! They live for the sake of the previous generation, for the parents, not traveling far, living for the sake of the next generation, not letting the family line die out in their own hands, etc.

Doing so may not seem like having autonomy at first, but it is so worth it! They are used to it, and it is internally consistent for them.

If you let them take the reins, they'll be thrilled! They'll feel like their lives are meaningful and that they can face their ancestors. So don't bother them, let them live their lives in their own way and according to their own beliefs, and they'll be overjoyed!

So, my point is that since you are always thinking about earning money to support your parents, you have the incredible opportunity to make supporting your parents the meaning of your life!

Listen to them, get married, have children, raise them, work hard. These are all things that can make your parents happy, and they are just as important as supporting them!

So don't dwell on it! Just live your life to earn money to support your parents. And remember, you can always change your goal if you want to!

Who knows—maybe one day you'll be ready to live for yourself! Life is full of possibilities, after all.

I am both Buddhist and pessimistic, an occasionally positive and motivated counselor, and I love the world!

Dear questioner,

After reading your question, I empathize with your situation. You are a sensible person in other people's eyes, and I admire your dedication to your parents. However, it's important to recognize that your parents have their own lives, and you have your own life. You can care for them within your abilities, and it's not necessary to live for them unnecessarily.

It's admirable that you always think of your parents. It shows you're a very responsible person. However, this sense of responsibility may have come from your childhood experiences. I'm not sure if you mentioned what your parents do for a living, but I wonder if they are still able to take care of themselves. Regardless of their situation, your anxiety won't change anything in reality.

It might also be helpful to consider that if you want to take care of others, it's important to take care of yourself first. If you're not in a position to take care of yourself, it can be challenging to fully dedicate yourself to the care of others. It's natural to want to take care of your parents, but it's also important to reflect on your motivations and ensure that your actions align with your intentions.

This may help you find peace of mind. It might be helpful to think clearly about what your original intention was for living for your parents.

Perhaps we could consider what we might try to do?

It might be helpful to consider ways of reducing your anxiety level. You might like to try doing something that has a positive impact, or find something you really enjoy doing to distract yourself and gradually reduce your anxiety level.

If I might make a suggestion, the second point is to make a plan for your life and career. In this plan, you may wish to consider setting a long-term goal. Then, you could divide how to achieve this goal into n small steps, and gradually achieve it over a certain period of time, rather than achieving the goal all at once.

It could be helpful to think about this in terms of dividing the whole into parts.

The third point is that you may wish to consider talking to your parents about your anxiety. It may be helpful to reflect on whether they truly require your care and attention at this time. By understanding your parents' current needs, you can gain clarity on whether your current worries are truly necessary.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether your worry is truly meaningful if they don't need your care at all.

If you're looking for a way to cope with your anxiety, talking to someone can be a helpful approach. When you're feeling anxious or uncertain about something, it can be beneficial to talk through your thoughts and experiences with someone else. This can help you gain a different perspective and reduce your anxiety.

I hope this is helpful.

Hello, question asker! When I saw your question, I could empathize with your current situation.

On the one hand, you would like to be able to contribute financially and help your parents with their lives.

On the other hand, you also have aspirations and ideas of your own that you would like to achieve.

It's not uncommon to find oneself in this situation when we transition from a life of dependence to one of independence.

From what you've said, I get the impression that

You have a tendency to set the standard for yourself by "obeying your parents and being a good child."

In the process, you may have a lot of things you want to do.

Perhaps because you are obedient and sensible, you have been putting your own ideas aside in order to cater to others.

Gradually, you may find yourself becoming accustomed to a lifestyle that involves compromising your own needs and desires in order to please others.

In the process, you may also tell yourself: "I need my parents to take care of me now, they have done so much for me, I have to listen to them. When I grow up and earn money, I can do what I want!"

Now that you've reached adulthood and are able to earn a living and support yourself,

However, you may find that you are unable to live your life as you had imagined.

You are currently experiencing some challenges in your learning efficiency and exam anxiety, which can be quite draining.

It is challenging to find happiness in this situation.

It can be challenging to identify the root cause of an issue when we're facing it.

I believe the answer that could be useful for you is that you may have lost sight of who you really are.

Perhaps the lesson that life has taught you, or that you have learned for yourself, is:

I believe that in order to be loved, it is important to be obedient and sensible.

You tend to live your life in a way that is pleasing to others.

Gradually, it can become easy to neglect our true inner needs.

I believe this is why we feel numb and unhappy when we're alive.

If I may, I would like to suggest a way for you to find yourself again.

If I might suggest, the specific steps are as follows:

1. Seeing yourself involves taking the time to observe and understand what is happening inside yourself.

2. Discovering ourselves: This is about identifying what our true inner needs are.

3. Understand yourself: It would be helpful to understand and accept why you have such needs.

4. Consider making some changes to align your actions with your desired way of being.

If I might suggest, your problem could be summarized in these four steps:

If I might suggest, your problem could be summarized in these four steps:

1. I have come to realize that my current way of living is not fulfilling and that I would like to find a way to live a happier life for myself.

2. Could I ask why I have these thoughts? Do I perhaps have a feeling of being neglected inside, and would it be helpful to have others support me in my goals?

3. From an early age, I have craved care and love, and I have striven to meet the expectations of others. This has been a recurring theme in my life.

In the process, I realize that I may have neglected my own needs. I now recognize the importance of attending to my needs.

I will continue to value my relationship with my parents and respect them.

4. Consider embracing a new way of life.

It may be the case that the conflict within us occurs because our past life patterns did not care for or accept ourselves.

Perhaps we could consider learning to feel happy and valuable with a new, personal lifestyle.

Perhaps it would be helpful to return to your heart.

Perhaps it would be helpful to try to love yourself back.

It might be helpful to try to accept your past.

It would be beneficial to take a moment to understand your present situation.

It would be wise to plan your future well.

I believe it is important to live for yourself.

I hope you have a happy day!

I wish you the very best!

March 10, 2022

My dear, I give you a big hug!

Reading your words, I can feel your anxiety, but I also feel your excitement!

You say you can't live for yourself. I think most people can't just live for themselves, and that's okay! We live in this world with our parents, relatives, friends, and loved ones, and this gives rise to many emotions. This is our vulnerability in the world, but also our armor. We will give up some of our own interests for the people we love, and it is also because of the love of these people that we have the courage to face the many setbacks in life.

Who can be so clear-headed? We just need to know our hearts when making a choice, and choose according to our own thoughts!

You have your own hobbies and interests and ambitions, which is fantastic! You just want a stable job right now, and I think you can have both. If you are good at your hobbies and interests, why not consider doing what you like and also make money?

How much can I earn? Is it within an acceptable range? I'm excited to find out!

If you want a stable job, go for it! You can absolutely do what you like in your spare time. Ask yourself more often and follow your heart.

I think that in many cases, people actually have their own choices, but they are afraid of the uncertainty after making a choice. But why not just try it? If it doesn't work out, just change it! It's never too late to do whatever we want, and it's never been a better time to start!

You understand that you are internally consumed and cannot live for yourself. I think what you lack is probably the courage to face your true self, and I know you can do it! Dear, we have all experienced self-doubt or indecision, and often it is that we are afraid to face it. But you can conquer that fear!

You have to know that no matter what you choose or give up, the people who love you will still love you, and you will remain unique. Follow your heart and do what you want, even if it's impractical. Why not give it a try? You never know—your dream might just come true!

The above is only a personal opinion, and I really hope it helps! Cheer up!

The world and I love you!