Hello! I'm sending you a warm hug from afar.
You can acknowledge the anxiety, tension, fear, desire for acceptance, affirmation, and encouragement, as well as the fear of being rejected and disliked, that you feel inside when you have to show off your personal abilities in some special situation.
Allowing and accepting yourself will undoubtedly lead to some emotional tension, unease, and fear on these occasions, especially when facing such occasions for the first time. Everyone will have such emotional feelings and reactions. This is because we want to perform better and are afraid of being rejected and disliked if we don't perform well enough. What do you think?
Emotions don't matter. They're neither good nor bad, right nor wrong. They're simply a sign that something is missing or that a need isn't being met. It's crucial to recognize, accept, and respond to emotions in a constructive way.
You keep having these feelings of tension, unease, and fear because you don't accept and face your emotions. You think having these feelings is bad, and they make you feel extremely uncomfortable. You avoid, ignore, suppress, and hide your emotions out of instinct for self-protection. But your uncomfortable emotions won't disappear just because you choose to suppress, hide, and ignore them. They'll stay in your subconscious until you face them.
In the moment of painful emotional feelings, take deep breaths and tell yourself, "I allow myself to feel and experience anxiety, uneasiness, tension, and fear. This is my desire to perform better and my longing to be affirmed and accepted." This allows you to better get along with your emotions, experience them, feel them, perceive them, and explore the needs hidden behind them.
You can also record your emotional feelings and physical reactions in real time after the event by keeping an emotional diary. This allows you to see, express, and respond to uncomfortable emotional feelings in a timely manner, which helps you to better experience, feel, perceive, and sort out your emotions, and seek more appropriate ways to release and respond to them.
Treat yourself the way you want to be treated. Learn self-acceptance and self-affirmation. Make a list of your self-acceptance strengths. See your shortcomings and your many bright spots and strengths.
You can express your fears, insecurities, and your desire for her full acceptance, understanding, and support, especially emotional and emotional affirmation, recognition, encouragement, and support, in a sexual relationship. When you can also accept yourself and feel the acceptance of the person you love the most, your body and mind can relax, and you can devote all your energy to the sexual relationship.
I am confident that my sharing has provided you with the support and help you need!
Embrace your imperfections and be true to yourself. Perfection is overrated.


Comments
These experiences you're describing seem to be rooted in anxiety, which can certainly feel overwhelming and intrusive. It's important to recognize that it's quite common for people to have these kinds of thoughts and feelings, and there are ways to manage them. Have you tried any relaxation techniques or mindfulness practices to help bring your focus back to the present moment?
It sounds like you're dealing with a significant amount of stress and anxiety, which can sometimes lead to intrusive thoughts during critical moments. While this isn't necessarily pathological, it can be very disruptive. I would recommend seeking out cognitivebehavioral therapy, as it has been shown to be effective for managing anxiety and intrusive thoughts. Additionally, practicing mindfulness and learning how to gently redirect your attention can be very helpful.
Your description suggests that you might be experiencing performance anxiety, which is when you feel intense pressure in situations where you're expected to perform, such as giving a speech or during intimate moments. This type of anxiety can be psychological rather than pathological. Techniques like deep breathing, visualization, and gradual exposure to the feared situation can aid in reducing the anxiety. It could also be beneficial to talk to a therapist who can provide personalized strategies to cope with these feelings.
The scenarios you've mentioned can indeed cause a great deal of distress, but they may not be indicative of a pathology. Often, such feelings are a result of heightened anxiety and can be addressed through psychological means. Engaging in regular selfcare, establishing a routine, and setting realistic expectations for yourself can all contribute to feeling more grounded. If the issue persists, consulting a mental health professional could provide you with tailored advice and support to help you regain control over your thoughts and emotions.