How can I not care so much about what other people say and do and let it affect me?

When I saw your question, I thought of myself. I'm a Virgo, outgoing, competitive, driven for perfection, and have a critical eye for detail. People blame this sign for all these characteristics (good and bad).

I think the common point of our type is to strive for perfection in every aspect and not want any bad things to be attached to us. This has created a situation where we particularly care about what others think and say about us, and even if it is a little bad, we hate to let it go, or we want to prove by our actions that we are right, positive, and good.

Everyone wants to be well regarded by others, but some people care about it more than others, which can lead to mental fatigue. We tend to be too sensitive, too competitive, and generally think too much. As you get older, you'll become more open-minded, stop fighting with yourself, stop arguing, and gradually become stronger through your life experiences. Only when your heart is strong can you appear calm and carefree. This takes time and requires settling down.

If you're looking for a shortcut, it's as simple as calming your mind. How do you do that? Read more, meditate more, and imagine less. You'll find that the things you once cared about aren't as important as you thought.

Everyone is different, and that's a good thing. Learning to accept yourself is the first step to becoming your best self!

Hello, friend.

You're aware that other people's words and deeds can have an impact on you. You're actively seeking help because you've recognized the problem and are ready to face it head-on and solve it. This is a positive and courageous step, and I commend you for taking it.

When I was young, I cared a lot about and was easily influenced by others. I was afraid of being isolated if others did not approve of me or if I did not agree with them. I hadn't formed a mature point of view. I was not confident enough or overly pursuing affirmation from others and self-perfection.

I don't know what it is about you, but it's something.

As I've grown older, I've learned that worrying about others is a waste of time. If you stick to yourself, there will always be someone who resonates with you. Affirm yourself and be firm in what you want. That's the most important and most comfortable thing.

In fact, living in society, we are always influenced by various factors. So how do we achieve a firm sense of self while living in harmony with others? The answer is simple: learn to accept your own imperfections, be brave enough to admit them, and most importantly, learn to affirm yourself, trust your own judgment, and develop your own way of thinking.

You must experience it yourself, learn and think, and grow and mature slowly.

You can remain neutral towards other people's ideas, be different but harmonious, and learn to see the starting point of other people's ideas. Put yourself in other people's shoes. You will understand other people and see the positive aspects of their ideas. The influence of other people's words and deeds on you will be a beneficial influence.

The world and I love you. Blessings to you.

The question posed by the original poster is somewhat nuanced.

If you do not inquire about the opinions and actions of others, it is likely that you will not be concerned about them.

This is a challenging situation.

It is estimated that individuals who are unable to engage with others in a constructive manner will experience significant challenges in their personal and professional lives.

It is important to remember that people are social beings.

Nevertheless, this concept of care is ultimately about others.

It is also a matter of concern to others.

If you have a personal interest in someone and this individual is important to you, it is reasonable to express your concern.

Given the nature of the relationship, it is reasonable to assume that your colleague's actions will have an impact on you, and vice versa.

If you are concerned about the general public, even if you are not personally acquainted with them or do not have a close relationship with them, it is important to recognize that they are still individuals with their own unique perspectives and experiences.

Over-caring is an unnecessary burden.

In essence, when the question is about not being unduly influenced by the words and actions of others, this is an attitude that must be adopted.

The optimal attitude is one that is indifferent to the identity of the individual in question, whether known or unknown.

If you can adopt a less emotional approach, you will be less affected.

When requesting guidance on how to proceed, it may be beneficial to consider an alternative approach.

Consider what you would do if you were not affected and did not care.

In that case, allow yourself to do those things more often.

I would like to suggest that you allow yourself to do so.

If you are instructed to refrain from thinking of a polar bear,

If I were to inform you that you must never think of a polar bear,

Once you have completed this step, inquire as to what the subject is thinking about.

In a similar vein, 90% of people will either think about it or even dwell on it.

What is the optimal response to preventing ruminations on the polar bear?

Repeat to yourself, "Consider the penguin, consider the penguin, consider the penguin."

Then, focus your attention on the penguin. When you think seriously and intently about the penguin,

You are the key factor in this situation. It is not possible to consider the situation of the "polar bear".

In light of the above, the optimal response to indifference and external pressure is

Yes, you should identify your goal, direction, motivation, and focus.

Keep your focus on the task at hand, the people around you, and the present moment.

This is a superior approach to simply asking "Why not go? Why not do? Why not be?"

Your focus is on completing the task at hand, enjoying the meal, and appreciating the scenery.

How can I alter the other person's perception of me? What actions can I take to ensure my own happiness and that of the other person? How can I influence others?

How can I influence others and effect change?

When you wish to avoid a passive approach, taking a proactive stance can be an effective strategy.

Furthermore,

It is not necessary to overstate the extent of the so-called influence.

Adhere to the principle that the decision you make is the optimal choice for yourself in the present circumstances.

If you are aware that you have been influenced and have chosen to comply, it is likely that you have made an informed decision based on your own self-interest.

In other words, it is appropriate for you, and it is something that you are forced to choose in your heart or in objective reality. And this result will undoubtedly prove beneficial to you, either externally or internally, in some way.

When you are not affected by external factors, you will have the physical and mental strength and external support to follow your chosen path.

Therefore, you can afford to be more relaxed mentally.

It is important to be aware that we are ultimately responsible for our decisions.

Given our responsibility, it would seem prudent to choose options that align with our comfort level.

The aforementioned information is provided for your reference.

I hope my answer helps you.

Many people are troubled by this, especially those who care about other people's opinions, comments, and actions. I used to be like that too. The concern is often driven by a desire to gain approval and affection from others, particularly when we lack inner confidence.

When you build up inner strength and establish a stable self-evaluation system, you will not be so easily affected by the words and deeds of others.

My advice is this:

First, we must understand why we care about others.

We formed this way of thinking when we were young, hoping to gain our parents' approval and acceptance, hoping to receive praise or encouragement from them, or to avoid being scolded and criticized. We chose this coping mode, always paying attention to the other person's feelings and reactions.

When we were young, we formed this way of thinking. We did so hoping to gain our parents' approval and acceptance, hoping to receive praise or encouragement from them, or to avoid being scolded and criticized by them. We chose this coping mode, always paying attention to the other person's feelings and reactions, trying to meet their needs and wants, even if we feel aggrieved and suppressed.

This may allow you to gain the approval and acceptance of others, but you will find that you cannot completely satisfy others or gain the approval of everyone. Everyone is different, and you cannot control the actions and thoughts of others.

This may make you feel accepted by others, but you will find that you cannot completely satisfy others or gain everyone's approval. It's simple: everyone is different, and we cannot control other people's actions and thoughts.

Now that we are grown up and more independent, we have the courage to make decisions for ourselves. However, subconsciously, we still want to gain the approval of our parents or the approval and attention of others.

This is an automatic way of thinking that influences our behavior without us realizing it. Once you become aware of it, you can stop it from affecting you.

This is likely an unconscious way of thinking that affects our behavior without our awareness. When we recognize it, it will have less and less of an impact on us.

Second, we must learn to treat other people's comments correctly.

A person's current self is shaped by their growth experience, educational background, and living environment. They have their own set of evaluation standards. When we meet those standards, they like and approve of us; otherwise, they dislike and reject us.

We are all the same. We use our own evaluation criteria to judge others. When others meet our standards, we like, support, and approve of them. When they don't, we dislike and reject them. It's that simple. So whether others' comments on you are good or bad seems to have something to do with you. In fact, it has to do with whether their comments match your evaluation criteria.

We are all the same. We use our own standards to judge others. When they meet our standards, we like, support, and recognize them. When they don't, we dislike and reject them. It's that simple. Whether others' comments on you are good or bad has nothing to do with you. It has to do with whether your standards match theirs.

Everyone has different needs and different positions. Don't try to change others' minds or force them to change their minds. Don't seek others' understanding and approval in everything. You'll feel much more relaxed this way.

Third, pay attention to yourself, establish an internally stable self-evaluation system, and do what you can do.

We cannot control the actions and thoughts of others, and our lives do not need to be about satisfying the needs and recognition of others. We must pay more attention to ourselves, understand ourselves, know ourselves, and know what kind of life we want to live and what kind of person we want to become. We must form an internal and stable self-evaluation system.

If you lack something inside, you'll seek it outside. If you need approval, you need to approve of yourself. When you're receptive and approve of yourself, you won't care about external approval because you already have it.

When you take care of yourself and love yourself enough, and your mental energy has increased, you will have the ability and energy to love others.

Focus on what you can do. Constantly improve your abilities, accumulate knowledge, enrich your experience, and continue to grow.

So, what can you do?

1. Accept them for who they are.

Once you've accepted others and accepted that you can't change them, you'll stop worrying about their actions and thoughts. When you accept their patterns and get used to their behavior, you'll feel at ease and won't attack yourself because of their negativity.

It is crucial to understand and accept yourself. This will empower you to handle external negativity with strength and resilience.

2. Proper communication.

You must also learn to express your feelings and needs to others. If they don't accept it, that's fine. But if you sincerely express your feelings and needs, they will understand you better, and you will feel more relaxed inside, instead of being constantly suppressed.

3. Release emotions in a timely manner.

You need to talk to the right person, who is someone who can give you support and encouragement.

In addition, do your favorite sport, write your emotions on paper, draw a mandala, go into nature, punch a sandbag or pillow, and say anything you want to say to an empty chair.

You can do this.

These are all ways to release emotions. Choose the method that suits you best.

You can do this.

4. Understand the influence of your original family on yourself correctly.

The influence of our original family on us is not as great as we think. It is even less likely that our lives will be determined by the traumas and bad experiences we had as children.

Our whole life will be affected by many subsystems. The original family is just one of them. In addition, there are the school system, the circle of friends, other social support systems, the circle of colleagues, and we will also participate in some learning circles, interest circles... These subsystems will all have an impact on us.

Don't take the wounds of your original family too seriously. You still have plenty of opportunities for change. The key is to keep learning and growing. Become the person you want to be.

5. Practice self-acceptance and self-affirmation to enhance your inner strength.

We care so much about what others think and expect because we don't recognize ourselves enough. We go outside to look for what we don't have inside. We don't recognize ourselves, so we especially need recognition from others.

However, nothing outside is stable or under our control.

However, we must accept that nothing outside is stable and that none of it is under our control.

You can control one person: yourself. This is the one person who can give you stable support and affirmation.

Your parents probably gave you negative feedback and rarely encouraged or supported you during your childhood. This led to a negative self-assessment and a lack of self-acceptance and self-confidence.

Your parents probably gave you negative feedback and rarely encouraged or supported you during your childhood. This led to a negative self-assessment and a lack of self-acceptance and self-confidence.

The past is the past. You can't change what's done, but you can change how you think about it. And you need to understand that your parents are human, just like you. What you need to do now is help yourself feel secure and worthy. Spend more time with the people who support and encourage you. And learn to encourage yourself.

When you feel powerless in the face of heavy workloads and trivial matters, tell yourself five times: I am valuable, I am lucky, my efforts will have an effect, I am responsible, and I will reap the rewards.

See your own value and affirm it. Most importantly, take action and work hard to improve your self-confidence.

You must learn to see your own value and affirm your own value. Most importantly, you must take action and work hard to boost your self-confidence.

You can't build confidence on nothing. It comes from your own strength and hard work. Set goals, work hard to achieve them, and constantly grow your inner strength, enrich your knowledge, and accumulate your experience. You will find that your inner strength will become stronger and stronger, and you will also come to recognize yourself more and more.

You can't fake self-confidence. It comes from within. Set goals, work hard to achieve them, and constantly grow your inner strength, enrich your knowledge, and accumulate your experience. You will find that your inner strength will become stronger and stronger, and you will also come to recognize yourself more and more.

At that time, you will accept other people's recognition of you, which is a kind of positive feedback. You will also accept other people's rejection of you because you know it is normal. Most importantly, you will understand why he rejects you and see his needs and standards.

When you accept yourself, you won't care what others think because you are content with who you are.

It will take time, but you can do it. You will overcome the difficulties along the way. If you believe in yourself and persevere, you will become a person of inner stability. You will no longer be easily affected by the words and actions of others.

I have lived this experience and I am here to tell you that it is possible to overcome. I wish you the best of luck on your journey!