How can I overcome my fear and calmly face whatever may happen?

My child, let me give you a hug. As the old Chinese saying goes, "At thirty, one should be established." This is the expectation that ordinary people have for themselves and their children: they feel that by the age of 30, one should have a family and a career.

The pace of societal and economic development is accelerating. Some individuals may have recently obtained a doctorate at the age of 30 and be uncertain about their next steps, while others may have invested significant time and effort in their careers and achieved financial independence. It is essential to recognize that everyone progresses at a different rate. Rather than comparing oneself to others, it is crucial to chart a course that aligns with one's unique goals and pace, fostering a sense of inner peace and stability.

You have indicated that you have been experiencing restlessness and fearfulness over the past three years. Have you attempted to ascertain the underlying cause of this situation?

For instance, could the issue be work-related pressure? Or perhaps financial pressure?

Are there any conflicts with other individuals? Are there any conflicts with family members?

No matter the circumstances, emotions always have a source. They do not occur without reason. Furthermore, they have persisted for three years. Have you sought assistance from a mental health professional?

I note that you have indicated that you are 30 years of age with no assets. Might I inquire as to whether this is the source of your concerns? Are you experiencing difficulties in envisioning your future prospects, or are you concerned about your ability to survive?

Let's collaborate to determine the best course of action, my child. I hope this proves useful.

1. Evaluate your current work situation and assess your abilities and potential for growth. If you are currently employed, consider whether there are opportunities for advancement, whether the industry has promising prospects, and what skills you need to develop to enhance your social competitiveness. It is acceptable to take time to reflect on these matters. Simply take a moment to quietly think about it yourself, analyze it, and identify your strengths and weaknesses. Then, focus on developing your strengths and avoiding your weaknesses.

It is crucial to identify the areas where you are willing to invest your time and energy, and to determine whether you can leverage these resources to gain a competitive edge that will ensure your survival.

2. You may wish to consider pursuing a romantic relationship, whether through matchmaking or social media. Expanding your social circle, embracing new ideas and concepts, and engaging in activities that align with your interests, such as salons, travel, singing, etc., could help you rediscover your goals, aspirations, and desired lifestyle. It may also be beneficial to step outside your comfort zone and embrace new perspectives.

3. When you are uncertain about your future plans, it is advisable to consult with your parents and relatives to ascertain their expectations of you, observe their circumstances, reflect on your responsibilities, and integrate your resources. You may find that there are numerous opportunities available to you, many of which are within your reach.

4. You may also consider seeking psychological counseling on the platform. Through professional intervention, you can address your emotional challenges, identify the root cause of your anxiety, mitigate its impact, and move forward with a positive outlook. I believe you have the capacity for self-healing, which is just waiting to be discovered and utilized. I also hope that the answers here can provide some comfort and help you manage your emotions.

Good morning, host.

As I approach my 30th birthday, I find myself reflecting on the passage of time and the realization that I have not yet achieved my goals. I am filled with a sense of unease about the future and the need to make changes to improve it. However, I am uncertain about how to plan for the unknown.

Anxiety, panic, and confusion, along with procrastination and avoidance, can lead to feelings of exhaustion and intensify the pain.

You want to clarify your objectives and focus your efforts, rather than wasting time and energy on unproductive pursuits, correct?

The loss of youth and the realization that one's abilities are no longer as valuable as they once were can cause individuals to experience feelings of panic. This is because, at a certain age, our health and vitality will naturally decline.

In the absence of the necessities for survival, the ability to change, and a companion, the subconscious mind will make an analogy and calculate that even if we assume that in the future, when our bodies are old and frail and can't take much of a beating, we will need resources and a supportive partner to ensure our survival, we won't have either. This will result in a perception that our future living environment is not guaranteed, leading to feelings of anxiety and panic, which will urge us to make changes now.

In order to survive, it is necessary to have the right resources and a supportive partner. In the absence of these, anxiety and panic will arise, urging us to make changes now. Our value and abilities are therefore the material for our survival.

How can an individual ascertain whether they are a valuable person?

The value of an individual is determined by the ability that others require. When others require our ability, they are willing to pay us with money or materials. If our ability is ordinary and not scarce, then others will not be willing to pay us with their precious materials or money, even if they really need it.

In essence, this society requires an exchange of equal value. The value you bring to the table, the value you can offer others, and the value others are willing to pay you in exchange must be considered.

Your current confusion and anxiety are a direct result of your perceived lack of ability and value. A review of individuals and society at large reveals that not everyone has the same needs. Consider the abilities you possess that could be used to meet these needs, and focus on developing them to a level that is both rare and attractive.

If this is not the case, then it would be advisable to learn a skill that interests you.

Once you have acquired the necessary knowledge and developed the ability to assist others in meeting their needs, you will be in a position to engage in bartering. This is also an indication that you have become a valuable individual, which is likely to enhance your appeal to the opposite sex.

In exchange for your efforts, you can request additional survival materials (money, house, car) from others. Once you have acquired a sufficient amount of material goods, you will no longer experience the same level of anxiety and confusion.

Hello, host! I'm July.

After reading your description, I have a better understanding of the question you want to ask, and I'm here to support you in any way I can.

From what you said in your description, it seems like you've been thinking about these problems a lot. That's probably why you've come to this conclusion. I admire your ability to reflect, but it's also important to be aware that excessive reflection can lead to some problems. For instance, if you focus too much on reflection and compare yourself to others, you might end up being more negative about yourself and your self-evaluation might not be as objective as it could be.

The thoughts you've shared are pretty common, and it's not just you. We all have similar issues to some extent, so give yourself time to make changes. Old habits take time and energy to change, and it's not something you can do overnight.

You mentioned in your description that you always feel insecure and like something bad is going to happen. I think you're thinking about the present because you're currently in a pretty anxious and confused situation. So, you have some self-doubt about what you currently have. Maybe it's because there's more uncertainty about the future, so it brings you a lot of unknown and uncertain feelings in the present.

In this regard, I've also put together a few tips to help you deal with the current situation. I hope they'll be useful for you.

(1) Confront your deepest fears head-on, rather than avoiding them. Prolonged avoidance can lead to negative self-perception.

(2) Try to focus on the present moment, rather than dwelling on things that haven't happened yet. Overthinking is just going to make you feel worse.

(3) When you're feeling down, you can let off steam through exercise, chatting, music, journaling, etc. Instead of bottling up your emotions.

(4) Focus on doing your own thing well in the present, rather than comparing yourself too much with others. Comparisons can also be really damaging.

(5) Try to take more action to properly get rid of the anxiety and uncertainty in your heart. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, make some changes when appropriate, get rid of some unreasonable beliefs, and get along with your current self better.

The world and I think you're great!

Wishing you the best!

Hello, question asker! I'm Wang Ying, your friendly psychological counselor.

For three years, you have been in such a state of insecurity. What kind of torture is this? You must have suffered enough now and don't want to suffer anymore. You want to start changing. Life doesn't give you suffering for nothing. No matter what your pain and troubles are, going through them will only make your heart stronger and your life more wonderful!

People are really fascinating! What traps us is often not the difficulties in reality, but our thoughts. They are incredible and nonsensical, but they can trap us. However, even if it is difficult, it is amazing to break out of this situation. It seems that in an instant, everything will disappear, and you will awaken! And more often than not, such an awakening still depends on one's own efforts, which means you have the power to make it happen!

In the past three years, you have always felt insecure and full of fear. But why did this suddenly happen? What happened in your life that triggered these feelings, which must have been there in your subconscious all along? Subconscious feelings come from childhood memories and wounds, which you previously hid well beneath the surface. But now you have the chance to explore them!

Since it is something in the subconscious, you get to explore it! What have you experienced? This may be an adventure for you. The process may make you feel pain, but you can do it! It is better to find the source of the disease and cure it completely than to be tortured all the time. Explore what is in the subconscious, bring it to the conscious level, and then accept and soothe it.

Meditation is a great way to calm your mind, bring your attention back to yourself, and see what you're thinking. It's also a fantastic way to connect with your subconscious and explore your inner child. You can do this on your own, practice it, and explore it!

When you feel that something bad is going to happen, remember that your mind is just making up stories to deceive you and make you anxious and fearful. Whenever your mind starts making up stories, consciously press pause and repeat the mantra "everything is good in the future, everything is good in the future, everything is good in the future." Then imagine some beautiful scenes and images: a successful career, a happy family, sunshine and happiness, etc. at the age of 30. Instead of making up bad things to torture yourself, why not think of something beautiful to make yourself happy? Even if what you think of in the end doesn't come true, at least you were happy in the process!

You can also use the method of changing your mind. Whenever a bad thought pops into your head, you can ask, "Is this true? Is this 100% true?" and watch the magic happen!

At this point, you'll have an amazing realization: all thoughts are self-defeating, and they're just your own thoughts! The best part is, if you don't listen to them or think about them, they won't hurt you.

When you can't get rid of fear or anxiety, don't try to escape or hide from it. The more you do, the more often it will visit you. When it comes again, tell yourself, "I'm going to face it now." Calm yourself down. No matter how painful it is, no matter how much you want to escape, you must persevere. Just feel it, and then accept it and soothe it. You can let out your emotions in any way that doesn't disturb others, and slowly these feelings will subside until they disappear. You will experience an unprecedented sense of ease and freedom, and your inner strength will also be enhanced.

Get yourself moving and do something to strengthen your inner strength! You will be more likely to do the things mentioned above. Practice meditation, sitting meditation, and standing meditation. Practice yoga to let the energy of your body flow. Get in touch with nature more often, as nature is the best place for healing. Whenever you are in a bad mood, immerse yourself in nature, and your mood will change a lot. Observe and appreciate a tree, a blade of grass, a flower, and look at the blue sky and white clouds.

I highly recommend reading some books on spiritual growth, such as The Turning of a Single Thought, Meeting the Unknown Self, and The Power of the Present Moment. These books will be incredibly helpful to you!

You can change your life if you really want to! All you have to do is find a way to make yourself change. And you can do it!

I really hope my answer helps you! Bless you!

Dear questioner,

Hello! This is a good question, and I believe you are not the only one who feels this way. In the past two years since the pandemic, many people have faced a lack of security, or feel disgusted by changes-and-that-you-cannot-control-your-anxiety-17745.html" target="_blank">uncertainty, or are full of confusion about the future. Let's explore this together.

First, let's identify what you're afraid of. Often, it's not the event itself that we fear, but our perception or interpretation of something. For example:

I fear losing my job. What I really fear is not losing my job itself, but what if I have financial difficulties after losing my job? What if my social status declines? I will not let my pride or what other people think affect me.

I fear losing intimacy. What I fear may not be the loss of intimacy itself. What I really fear is what happens if I am unloved. What if I am no longer valued? How will others perceive my failure in the relationship?

I fear change. What I really fear may not be change itself, but what if change fails? What if I step out of my comfort zone and feel insecure? What will others think of me after the change?

When you're in a state of fear and confusion, take a deep breath and ask yourself: What am I afraid of? If you can't describe your fear in concrete terms, read this book. It'll help.

The Awakening of the Family.

You fear not being loved.

You must confront your fear of conflict.

You must conquer your fear of commitment.

You must conquer your fear of being independent.

You must conquer your fear of misfortune.

You must conquer your fear of feeling useless.

You must conquer your fear of losing control.

You must face your fear of the ordinary.

You must conquer your fear of scarcity.

Next, after identifying our fears, we must face and resolve not the events themselves, but our perceptions and interpretations of them. We cannot control or change many objective things, such as our origins, environment, and the opinions of others. However, we can control our own state of mind and perceptions.

Use the famous "control dichotomy" to sort out your thoughts. Control what you can control and adapt to what you cannot.

Take control of the things you can change. Face, solve, and then let go of the things you can't. Accept, adapt, and wait for the things you can't change.

I'll tell you what I've learned. The pandemic has brought great uncertainty and devastation to my industry. The rules that have been in place for decades were broken overnight, and business has plummeted. At first, I was afraid of what would happen if business disappeared.

What if your department closes down? What if you lose your job in your middle age? These thoughts are racing through my mind like a trapped animal, but I'm not going to let them stop me.

Many people are lying down, and I also ask myself: I can lie down.

I have seen my colleagues struggling, and I have watched you build this team from scratch. Hayao Miyazaki said it best: "I can accept failure, but I absolutely cannot accept myself if I have not tried my best."

I used the "control dichotomy" to analyze and list the things I could change in a bad environment, and I made positive changes day by day.

Two years have passed, and I can say with confidence that none of the things I was afraid of have happened. Instead, we have become more resilient, more flexible, and more able to embrace uncertainty because we have stepped out of our comfort zones and worked hard to survive.

So, dear friends, fear is not terrible. It is simply a response mechanism that our ancient human ancestors engraved in our genes and passed on to us when facing danger. Face it head on, interpret it optimistically, and then find aspects you can control and make positive changes.

I am certain my words will help you. Let's work together!