How can one escape the cycle when facing double oppression from family and school?

Hello! I'm sending you a hug from afar.

You feel alone, misunderstood, and helpless.

You feel rejected, excluded, and unsupported. You feel insecure. You can't control how others treat you.

You can control how you treat yourself. Try to treat yourself well. Learn to accept yourself. Make a list of your self-acceptance strengths.

You can see your own good and bad points. Develop more interests and passions in your daily life. Try to build relationships outside of your family. You can improve your ability to manage relationships by learning some social skills.

Keep a gratitude journal to boost your confidence and self-worth.

Everyone has to grow up. This means you have to break free from your parents' rules. Think about snakes. They have to molt to grow. It hurts, but they have to do it. Breaking free from your parents' rules is a spiritual transformation.

Hello, host!

Thanks for being willing to come here and share your thoughts.

From what I can tell from the description, the host is a student who misses home when she's at school. But when she gets back home, her parents put a lot of pressure on her.

I have a question: has the host ever lived in a school before?

From what I can tell, it seems like the host has already made up their mind about whether to study at home or live in the dorm. It seems like they want to spend less time at school and more time at home.

I'd like to offer some advice to the original poster that I hope will be helpful.

1. It seems like the host is under a lot of pressure, whether they live in a dorm or study at home. So why not go with the flow, do your best in the present, and focus on your studies?

If you focus all your attention on your studies, you'll probably find it's less mentally draining.

2. The environment and the people around you will be fine. Just as the host can still benefit from this platform, you'll see there's more to it when you take the time to explore. For example, the food in the cafeteria, the sunshine on the road, the lifting of the lockdown after the epidemic, etc.

3. When you need your family to help you tackle problems together, their inaction can make you more troubled. But on the plus side, you can be independent and autonomous, and you can experience the process of solving problems yourself.

Sometimes, there's no way to change things. The best thing to do is accept it and move on. Then, you can start to make changes.

Hug the questioner. You'll feel your helplessness now.

Question: During the pandemic, I feel cold and isolated at school, and I suffer from insomnia, anxiety, and a sense of insecurity. When I get home, my parents show indifference to my emotional problems and only care about my studies. This is unacceptable.

⭕️ Analysis:

The sudden pandemic has had a significant impact on people, both physically and in terms of anxiety. Isolation from the outside world can lead to apathy, loneliness, and a lack of security. It is likely that the questioner has been unconsciously affected by the general environment of the pandemic.

It is clear that students need the love and support of their parents and friends even more during the pandemic. However, parents are only concerned about their own studies, and teachers and classmates at school are also focused on studies. This makes the questioner, who should be receiving emotional support, feel even more helpless.

Here's the solution:

1. The questioner should make an effort to make new friends.

2. Speak up and communicate more deeply with your parents. If they let you feel these emotions on your own and you need their help and support, tell them. Tell them, "I can't digest these emotions on my own. I need your help. I hope you can cook a dish I like, take me shopping, or give me a hug." Asking for specific needs also allows your parents to clearly know how to help you.

3. Exercise and being in nature both have the function of healing the mood. The questioner should take time to go for a walk or a run in the park, or try climbing a mountain and breathing in fresh air.

4. Keeping a diary is an effective way to deal with emotions. The questioner can express their feelings through writing, detailing the events, processes, and outcomes that led to their emotions.

5. If you need it, you can also seek counseling from the school's psychological teacher.

You will find the strength to make yourself happy.

Hello question asker!

Thank you for answering my questions. I felt like I knew you a little better after reading your words. You seem like a polite and kind student. I felt your feelings and I hugged you!

Your descriptions of school and home reminded me of my past. I was miserable in high school. Other students went home every two weeks, but I couldn't stand being there for three days.

You shouldn't feel uncomfortable at home. But you do. Your parents argue and criticize you.

You said you need security at school, but feel oppressed at home. You described it so vividly that I felt it again. Maybe this is what sensitive people going through puberty have to experience.

I was like that back then. Back then, studying was not as stressful and there were no epidemics. Now, I tell my baby that if I were stuck in school like you, I don't know how I would get through it. I don't know if I could survive. So I admire those kids who aren't so sensitive.

We were born this way. We adapt well, so what can we do?

But I can tell you this: although we were in pain, growing up in the midst of it has given us a taste of growth.

It's not bad to feel pain. It's bad to avoid it. After seeing your pain, I wanted to know more about you. I clicked on your profile picture and read your YiChat profile.

You're enthusiastic and helpful. You've answered many questions and done your part to make others happy. Keep up the good work!

You've already mentioned many of the methods you can use. Some are new, like agreeing with the questioner to get through difficulties together or not worrying about not knowing internet buzzwords. Pick one and try it. It will help you get through your current situation.

I've experienced something similar at my age. I think your grandfather passed away three months ago. As a grandchild, you've felt his helplessness and pain. I think your father is in pain too. Is your father's attitude towards you related to your grandfather's death?

If your dad is mean, it might also upset your mom. So what? Your parents will also affect you. The death of your grandpa might have made your family a bit less happy.

Maybe it wasn't so bad before! Your grandfather died, and there was a pandemic!

And you're in junior high school entrance exam season. This will really be too much for us and our family.

We're all in a hurry! We're carrying a lot of pressure.

Everyone suffers. We all have our own pain, so let's bear it ourselves. I saw that when you advised others to use body lotion, you said to be considerate of your parents. I don't doubt that your parents love you.

Dad loves you, you love Mom and Dad, and what about you and Mom and Dad? Everyone has their own different pains. You should be able to sympathize. Mom's advice to think about the pain of cancer patients is good, even if it's not perfect. The pains of youth and illness are not the same, but they are also very painful.

But you must believe that after this period of pain, the light is at the end of the tunnel. Read your own advice again!

Good luck in your new school! I'll end with a quote: "The world and I love you!"

I won't use those little emoticons when I reply to other questioners. This is the generation gap, and I'll ask you to forgive my limitations!

Greetings!

In the context of anxiety/how-to-reduce-emotional-distress-at-work-4642.html" target="_blank">stress, pain, and helplessness, it is important to recognize the potential for feelings of insecurity, panic, anxiety, insomnia, and a mix of emotions. In such instances, self-compassion and self-care are essential.

1. It is recommended that you organize your stress and provide yourself with the necessary care and attention.

I experience a profound sense of homesickness at school, coupled with the perception that my teachers and classmates are aloof and indifferent. Once I return home, I feel that my parents are either unable or unwilling to comprehend or empathize with my situation, which often evokes feelings of resentment and distress.

It is possible that your personality traits and upbringing have predisposed you to experience a considerable degree of negative affect in any given situation.

Or perhaps one is in a state of confusion during adolescence, experiencing irreconcilable conflicts within, with parents unable to comprehend one's experiences, and facing significant pressure to learn. When one adds to this the social panic caused by the pandemic, the disruption of one's usual routine, and the pressure to learn to get along with others, it is evident that these factors will affect one's emotions and mood. When one is in a bad mood, one's interpersonal feelings will also be affected, entering a vicious cycle.

It is recommended that individuals provide themselves with additional inner care and self-awareness, gain an understanding of the pressures they face, and attend to the needs of their inner child. This approach can effectively reduce stress.

2. It is advisable to learn ways to relieve stress and ease emotions.

One might inquire as to how an individual might avoid allowing themselves to become ensnared by their emotions, and thus prevent any subsequent impact on their behavior and overall lifestyle.

It is advisable to learn some suitable methods to relieve stress and emotions. These may include being aware of one's emotions at all times and, when feeling the pressure of negative emotions, consciously telling oneself that the negative emotions are merely a transient phenomenon that will soon pass.

It is recommended that you listen to a song you enjoy, engage in meditation and relaxation for a period of time, engage in physical activity such as running or playing a game, and attempt to find someone with whom you can converse.

Any activity that facilitates relaxation or diversion of attention is beneficial. Engaging in such activities with conscious intention can facilitate the transformation of emotions.

With the passage of time, awareness and conscious adjustment can facilitate the development of a more optimal emotional pattern, enhance psychological energy, and engender the formation of novel emotional response patterns and behavioral patterns.

Additionally, it is essential to develop effective time management skills, establish realistic goals, avoid excessively high expectations, maintain a healthy work-life balance, and prioritize efficient learning strategies.

3. It is essential to develop effective communication skills and the ability to express oneself clearly and confidently.

Effective communication is crucial for fostering positive relationships and adapting to one's environment, whether in familial or academic settings.

The most crucial aspect of communication is active listening and self-expression.

Listening to others entails the ability to fully comprehend their statements, acknowledge their perspective, and, when feasible, address their needs. Expressing oneself necessitates the fortitude to articulate one's thoughts and desires.

Frequently, a lack of expression results in a lack of comprehension of one's genuine sentiments, even among parental figures.

Frequently, negative emotions emerge due to an inability to verbalize them. When emotions are expressed, they tend to be less intense and less likely to manifest as aggression.

It is my hope that the response from Hongyu will prove to be of assistance. I am grateful for your inquiry.

Hugs to you, dear poster! You've got this!

From your message, I can tell that you're facing some academic challenges. It seems like your life is all about studying, and you're looking for ways to make your life more interesting and happy. You're feeling a bit down, but I'm here to help!

From your description, it's clear that you're feeling overwhelmed in your learning environment. It's understandable that you're feeling anxious and even sleepless. It's natural to want to escape and go home, where you think you'll feel better. But now that you're taking online classes at home, it's important to recognize that your parents are trying to support you. You're trying very hard to communicate with your parents, and they're there for you.

So you're feeling a little confused and at a loss right now, but don't worry!

I totally get it! We were all students once, so I understand your academic pressure.

In your description, you feel that you cannot feel the care and love of your teachers and classmates, and you feel that they are very indifferent. This makes you feel very insecure. But don't worry! There are ways to overcome this.

Based on your description, I have some suggestions for you that I think you'll really enjoy!

1. At school, I think you can try to communicate with your classmates, or your roommates in the dormitory, or better students and friends at school to talk about your feelings. It'll be easier to understand and empathize with them, and you'll be able to release pressure by expressing your inner thoughts!

2. If there is no one at school you can talk to, you can also consider the school's psychological counselor and seek some help from her. Or it is easier to communicate with teachers, and your homeroom teacher will also observe you more or communicate with you more through the help of your teachers.

3. You can also try communicating with your own teacher. It may be difficult for you, but it will be worth it! If you feel a lot of pressure, it will affect your learning. Talk to your homeroom teacher and let her know about your stress. She will then be able to help you reduce your stress and improve your learning!

4. Online classes at home are a great way to learn, but it's important to adjust to the new situation. One way to do this is to plan your own daily study schedule, including time for studying and time for rest.

During your breaks, choose something that interests you. You can play games, but be careful about the time. Reading a book or doing some exercise can also help reduce your study stress. When you follow your own study plan and stick to it, your parents will also be sure of you.

You can also invite your parents to participate in your learning plan to supervise and manage you. It's a great idea! If you complete the plan successfully, your parents will be able to see it and understand all your hard work.

5. Learning is an amazing journey, but it's also important to take a break and recharge. Don't get so caught up in studying that you forget to play! Having a balance of work and play helps you learn, relax, and have fun.

And finally, you can try the above suggestions first! If you have any other questions, you can also send me a private message.

The world and I love you!

I want to give you a hug. School is cold, and my family is cold too. But there are nice people online who can give you warmth and support you as you go forward.

The host is emotionally sensitive and aware of his emotions. "Insecurity, panic, anxiety, insomnia, suppressed thoughts, and a variety of emotions." I pay too much attention to my feelings and ignore facts, becoming immersed in my emotions.

Everyone around me is anxious during this epidemic. Teachers and parents have a lot of worries but don't show it. Children are vulnerable and can't handle these emotions, so they feel depressed.

Here are a few ways to provide the landlord with a reference. We can be self-sufficient if the outside world cannot give us warmth and love.

Set aside time every day to do things you like.

Read, watch movies, read novels, or do crafts.

You can still do things you like even though you have to study.

Life was too fast. Use the time during the epidemic quarantine to do things that make you happy.

2. Chat with friends who make you happy.

They can be classmates or online bloggers.

See what your positive friends are doing. Use your friends to motivate yourself.

You can also ask a teacher at school to help you do something positive.

3. Heal yourself through sports, writing, etc.

Exercise releases pent-up emotions. When we get tired, dopamine makes us feel better.

Write down your emotions to see your needs and expectations.

Here's how to record it:

1. What did Dad say this morning?

I was angry and felt bad.

3. Thoughts: I feel weak and can only please them.

4. Expectations: I hope my parents will comfort me.

5. Next step: Tell them what I think. If they can't change, I can be kinder to myself.

Record your emotions, thoughts, and feelings. You will understand your emotions better.

and make yourself more comfortable.

4. Accept your imperfections.

The host is young and can't live independently. In front of family, they're vulnerable.

I was a student too. I used to think studying was the most important thing. But only those who understand themselves will live a fuller life.

Instead of studying, get to know yourself better.

You're submissive to give others a good impression.

If you don't want to study, take a day or two off to relax.

Hug yourself and tell yourself you deserve a better life.

5. Take a long vacation and enjoy the present.

You haven't been alone during the epidemic. Many people have been with you.

We are born in the present, and it is hard.

However, if we look at the past 100 years, we see that people lived in troubled times and suffered. Life was hard, and our ancestors endured it.

I believe this period will be remembered in 100 years.

Make the most of every minute and every second.

Do what you can, take care of yourself.

You're young, and you'll find your way. We're with you and wish you luck.

Hello! Just wanted to send a warm hug your way.

You might feel isolated, misunderstood, unsupported, and helpless.

It seems like both school and home have made you feel rejected, excluded, alienated, not accepted, not understood, and unsupported. And these external environments and the way others treat you are all outside of your control, right?

The one thing you can be sure of and control is how you treat yourself. Try treating yourself this way first, rather than placing more hope in external, uncontrollable people or situations.

You're the only one who can meet your own needs. Even if someone else can, they have to have what you lack, be willing to give it to you, and know how much you lack it. So, the chance that someone else can meet your needs is pretty slim, right?

It might be tough to try to meet your own needs on your own, but you should try. When you meet your own needs, you also learn more about yourself and connect with your inner self. This helps you understand yourself better and take care of yourself.

For instance, when you're dealing with external people or situations that make you feel uncomfortable or hurt, it's helpful to first check in with yourself to see if it's a reflection of your inner self needing acceptance. Are you accepting of your current self?

Can you find harmony with your current self? Rather than complaining about the outside world first.

Keeping a mood diary is a great way to record your emotional feelings. It helps you understand your emotions better and explore the needs hidden behind them. When your parents' words or actions make you feel uncomfortable or hurt, it's important to express your true feelings. Don't suppress or hide your emotions. Speak up and let them know how you want to be treated.

It's also important to try to accept yourself better and build self-confidence. One way to do this is to make a list of your strengths.

You'll see your own shortcomings and inadequacies, but also your many bright spots and strengths. Develop more interests and passions in your daily life so you can take control of more things. Try to establish relationships outside of your family. You can improve your ability to manage relationships by learning some social skills.

One way to boost your confidence and feel more worthy is to keep a gratitude journal.

I'm Lily, the Q&A Center's resident listener. The world and I love you!