How can you escape your past and live without fear after suffering domestic violence as a child?

Hello, question asker!

From what you've said, I can tell you're struggling with some inner issues. I want to give you a warm hug and tell you that when you face your problems head-on and come here to find a solution, you're already on the path to change.

The pain caused by our original family is something we need to heal throughout our lives. The famous psychologist Adler famously said, "The lucky ones are healed by their childhood, the unfortunate ones heal their childhood." Fortunately, you've already recognized the negative emotions caused by your original family. You want to change, you want to break through, you want to break free from this forbidden fruit, and you want to lead a relaxed and carefree life. This is your greatest resource, as well as your greatest strength and support.

Based on your situation and my feelings, I have a few tips that I hope will be helpful.

First, get some help from a professional counselor.

I know you've tried your best and done a great job, but sometimes the issues from your original family will come up, and it can be uncomfortable. At this point, I suggest you seek professional advice. They'll use professional techniques to soothe our wounds, adjust our perceptions, and give us the strength to grow in an environment where they give us a safe and inclusive environment.

And learn to accept and love yourself.

We couldn't change the past, but now we've grown up and we have the strength. We can protect ourselves. All we have to do is accept and love ourselves. Maybe because of past experiences, we were once unable to extricate ourselves from a small space. But now, my dear, you have grown up and you have the ability. Only if we love ourselves and accept ourselves can we open our eyes, move our bodies, and embrace the world. Do you agree with what I've said?

Then, use positive mental suggestions.

From what you've said, I can see that you're a positive person who wants to live a relaxed life. You're always looking for ways to do that. So what we need to do is to constantly tell ourselves that we're doing well and have done a great job. We can also fill ourselves with motivation and strength through some positive exercises. That will help us to counteract the original uncomfortable feelings.

Next, I'd like you to believe in yourself.

I know your past experiences have left you feeling powerless, confused, and helpless. But when you came here, I saw you, just like a seed under the soil, wanting to break through the soil, to receive the sun's rays, to gain freedom and grow strong. At this time, I ask you to learn to believe in yourself. Believe and firmly believe that you can, that you will definitely get what you want, that you will definitely get better and better, that you will definitely be able to do it. Only when we believe in ourselves can we take action and continue to break through problems.

Then, find something you enjoy doing in your free time.

Some bad experiences in the past can make us feel sensitive, inferior, or other negative emotions, which can make us unable to see ourselves. At this time, I suggest that you find something you like to do, immerse yourself in it, and persevere for a long time. This will give us a sense of accomplishment, give us strength from within, and make us constantly confident. It won't make us constantly shine, so just keep doing the things you like. As long as you don't give up, you will eventually become that shining seed!

Finally, I want to tell you that you are already great, and you are also very positive inside, and you have a life that you aspire to. All you have to do is believe in yourself, not give up, keep pushing forward, and keep challenging yourself. Before you know it, you'll be feeling more and more relaxed.

Many people say that family issues can make them feel uncomfortable, but life heals those who are willing to be healed. You've already taken the first step, and I also let family issues make me unhappy and feel inferior. But as I studied psychology, I slowly became more relaxed.

As long as you stick with it, you'll see that everything works out in the end.

Hello!

I'm sad reading about your problems. You've had a hard time. I hug you!

As children, we had no choice. We couldn't choose our parents or change our circumstances. We had to find ways to survive. I can see what you were thinking:

I find peace by escaping into my fantasy world. By ignoring my feelings, I felt less pain.

I admire you for surviving a childhood full of nightmares. But it's also sad. I imagine you're hugging the traumatized child you once were, saying, "You've had a hard life!"

You said your parents want to vent their suffering on you. You think if you die, they won't be in pain. I really want to believe that's wrong. Is this something you had as a child?

You said you're afraid your perception is wrong. I hope your perception of your parents and your judgment are wrong too. Then maybe you'll feel better.

After reading your question, I was sad too. I was amazed at your strength. You must have a lot of energy to get through it all. If this happened to me, I don't think I could have survived. I wonder how you get through each day. Hugs again!

You wrote a lot about things you were afraid of. I have never been able to hold my heart open. It's been too hard. You can say you are at the bottom of life, and I feel that we are already there. What's there to be afraid of? We have all experienced terrible, sad, unbearable, confusing, and helpless things.

We've grown up and are stronger than we were as children. You said you rebelled as a child but were quickly defeated. Now you're stronger. If you suffer another attack, you can fight back. You'll become stronger, but your parents will become weaker. We've already survived difficult times. Can we overcome any hardship?

You're already climbing back up from the bottom.

I want to live free.

I want to live a full life. Just watching other people's happiness is enough.

This is what makes you better. You want to live a full life. You can be happy watching other people happy. This is how you want to live. This is a great desire and driving force in life.

Use these words as your motto. Use your phone as a cover or post them in your private space. Put them in your mind and heart. Recite them every day. I want to live free from shackles. I want to live life to the full. Just look at other people's happiness. Don't recite these words less than twenty times a day. This will unlock your suffering.

This is your heartfelt wish! Repeat your mantra every day. Write about what you observe: the happiness of others, the beauty of others, and the beauty of the world. You will see the beauty in yourself. Keep going, and you will see even more.

From now on, watch other people's happiness. Believe in yourself. Believe that when you were a child, you were good at finding ways to get by. Use this to lead yourself to a better tomorrow.

Good luck! I love you!

Hello, question asker. I'm an old, skinny donkey.

I can really relate to how you're feeling. When I was a kid, the neighbor's kid was often scolded by her parents. I saw her trembling every day as she did the most work at home, but I just envied her siblings for going to school. She wasn't allowed to go to school herself, and when she grew up and got married, she cut off all contact with her family.

I once read a story about an elephant that was chained up as a baby. It struggled and fought back at first, but it was useless. After many fruitless attempts and exhaustion, it gave up resistance. It grew up to be an elephant and had the strength to break free, but it never tried because it was influenced by its childhood experiences.

The questioner has also rebelled against the violence of his parents before, just like the little elephant in the story. After many failed attempts, he gave up. It's possible that not provoking his parents will prevent further violence.

The questioner may deny themselves for a few different reasons:

1. Being subjected to violence may make the questioner feel undeserving. Denying and suppressing the struggles of childhood can make the questioner feel inferior.

2. The questioner is afraid that their opinions will be rejected and ridiculed because of the memory of being beaten.

3. Being constantly rejected has made the questioner lose confidence.

It's recommended that you try facing your inner child directly and reassuring him. Once your inner child is healed, you can move on. You can try:

1. Ask yourself what's causing your inner panic and self-doubt, and what you're afraid of when it comes to beautiful things. Can you accept the worst outcome?

2. Try to regain a sense of confidence by taking on small tasks, setting small goals for yourself, and making progress little by little. As you gain more positive feedback, you'll gradually move away from feeling inferior and become more confident.

3. Remind yourself that just like an elephant that has grown up, it is not that it cannot break free from the chains, but that it is itself psychologically suggesting to itself that it cannot. You can try taking a step forward and giving yourself energy.

4. Accept and embrace yourself. Only by reconciling with yourself will you be able to move on from the pain of the past and embrace happiness.

"Embracing Your Inner Child" and "Mr. Toad Goes to the Psychologist" might help the questioner gain more self-understanding and self-soothing knowledge. They can also get help from a professional counselor if they need it.

Wishing you the best!

Hello, Dorothea.

Your words, "But I want to live, to live free of these shackles," showed me your strength.

You said you had a terrible childhood. This was a very painful year. It will continue to affect you. It makes you feel like you should be suffering. It even makes you hear a voice inside telling you to "die, so you won't have to suffer anymore." Who wants to die when they can live well?

I can feel your pain. I know you want to change the situation and get rid of the pain. You know you have to face the past to move on.

Dear friend, being aware of yourself is the first step to changing and growing. You want to live freely, don't you?

You and I both know change is hard. I hope you'll consider my thoughts.

1. See a doctor.

You seem to have extreme thoughts. You might want to go to the hospital and see a psychiatrist. They can diagnose and treat you. Tell them about your physical and mental feelings. If you need medication, it can help relieve some of your symptoms. Talk to your doctor more often.

Your current suffering is caused by your childhood experiences. A professional counselor can help you with this.

You know your current suffering is caused by your childhood experiences. From a psychological point of view, this involves issues related to your original family. A professional psychological counselor can help you with this.

3. Help yourself.

Everyone has to deal with family issues to grow. You've realized this, felt the pain, and persevered. That's amazing.

Teach yourself some psychology to help you change. It might take a long time, but you will get there.

Here are some other tips:

1. Describe your feelings in words and record the important moments in your life. Writing is a good way to do this. As you write, you will think and feel, so you can use writing to talk to yourself, to your feelings, and to your thoughts. Record the most important moments of each day with a sense of ritual, and think about those feelings for a while.

2. Read books. They are a portable and spacious "refuge." Everyone can read anything, in any format. Just read for a little while every day, and over time, you will form a habit and reap unexpected rewards.

Read some psychology books if you can. If you don't like them, read other books.

3. Express your feelings to someone close to you. Forget about the response. Your goal is to express your feelings.

4. When you are emotionally unstable, try breathing exercises, muscle relaxation, or other methods to relax. If you cannot relieve yourself, you can also seek help on a professional platform. You can also talk about it in writing or by voice.

I hope these ideas help you think and explore. Good luck!

Dear questioner, My name is Duoduo Lian, and I hope my reply can support you in some way.

I don't know what kind of perseverance has supported you to this day. I believe that the miracle of life is in you. I know you've lived in fear countless nights. I think no one in the world is more lonely and helpless than you. But since we've survived and dared to ask for help, I believe that fate will also change.

Your childhood experiences and the way your parents treated you made you feel like you weren't loved or worthy of love, which made it hard for you to be yourself. You learned to believe that you had to survive, as if you were in a primitive society. This made you willing to live in your own world just to protect yourself.

What kind of experiences did your parents have? How did they handle their feelings? How much anger did they keep inside? Did they also grow up being treated the same way, and so they treat you the same way? You've become an outlet for your parents' emotions, helping them relax and cope. You are so valuable! How would you know?

But you've taken on your parents' treatment of you as your own fault, haven't you? You hate yourself for not being good enough, right? You've been struggling with internal conflicts for so many years. You need to know that everyone has shortcomings and limitations. This is what makes a complete person. There are advantages and disadvantages, and there are both good times and bad times. This kind of life is meaningful.

We all feel afraid sometimes. It's okay to feel that way. You might feel afraid to express yourself, afraid of making mistakes, or unable to shake off the shadows of your childhood. But it's time to wake up. You have grown up. You used to isolate others in order to protect yourself, but now you can fully protect yourself. Fear is just a kind of energy that protects you. It's just a paper tiger. You can face it and overcome it. You are the master of your own life.

You're not wrong, sweetheart. It's just your perception of yourself that's wrong. We all want to show the best side of ourselves to others, but we often hide the dark side. Only by daring to show the dark side can we truly face it. Being true to yourself is strength. The fact that you can speak about your shortcomings on a professional platform is a kind of ability. You can be strong, but you can also be vulnerable.

Life gives me hardships, but it also helps me become stronger. Some people will awaken me in a bad way, but it's all for the purpose of meeting a better self. We can't change others, only ourselves. Once the trauma is seen, its value and meaning are revealed. Society is also complex and ever-changing. It is precisely with this resource that we can remain calm and composed.

Learn to love yourself, be amazed by how strong life is, how much happiness there is for every pain, how those who have been to the bottom can rise up, and know that every day the sun is new. You are already complete, you just need to slowly discover it yourself.

I love you and I wish you all the happiness in the world!

Good day, I hope this message finds you well. I am writing in response to your query. Kind regards,

If circumstances permitted, I would extend a gesture of comfort and solace to your heart, which has become numb from repression but still longs for warmth and love.

After reading your post, I was overcome with sadness and a sense of heaviness. I am curious to know more about the nature of

How can one survive domestic violence while still maintaining a sense of self-worth and resilience? It is evident that the individual in question has become stronger and more resilient through a combination of isolation, suppression, denial, and even fantasy.

This is a defense mechanism that enables an individual to become stronger and more resilient in the face of repeated pain and suffering.

Furthermore, I can discern that the individual in question has developed into a mature and reflective adult, exhibiting a keen awareness of their own emotions.

One's inability to perceive and feel results in a tendency to isolate oneself from the world, preventing involvement in genuine emotions.

This results in a deep emotional response to the early trauma.

Please advise on the best way to break this pattern.

I am unaware of the specific symptoms you are currently experiencing. Aside from the low self-esteem and panic you have mentioned in relation to self-awareness,

In addition, are there any other issues you would like to discuss, such as concerns about your physical health or sleep patterns?

Please describe your relationships and emotional state, as well as your social functioning.

It is therefore recommended that you first obtain a more scientific diagnosis and assessment, and then proceed to a professional psychiatric hospital.

Authoritative psychological clinics and psychotherapy centers, etc., must provide a comprehensive understanding of these symptoms and any associated issues.

Furthermore, it is essential to ascertain whether medication is a desired course of treatment.

Secondly, should you wish to receive assistance through therapy, you may opt for Gestalt therapy or psychoanalytic schools.

Other potential options include dynamic therapy and so forth.

Furthermore, these techniques teach clients how to recognize their feelings.

Furthermore, clients will learn to express their feelings and integrate them into their personalities with the help of emotions and feelings.

Once more, there is no better way to accept yourself.

It is essential to have a clear understanding of your strengths and specialties, as well as an awareness of how to develop them further.

This will enable you to develop your skills in a way that fulfills your social functions and values.

Furthermore, while the majority of educational institutions ultimately provide guidance on self-acceptance, we can

Social practice can assist in realizing one's self-worth. For instance, accepting oneself more rapidly can be achieved through active involvement in social welfare activities.

For instance, one might consider joining social youth volunteers and actively participating in activities at social children's welfare institutions.

Furthermore, if financial constraints prevent professional counseling, one can pursue self-directed learning in healing techniques.

The application of certain techniques, such as mindfulness, emotional focus, and meditation, can facilitate spiritual growth.

As a final option, you may wish to consider joining an Orthodox church as a means of achieving self-salvation.

The objective is to achieve healing.

This is counselor Yao, continuing to support and care for you.

I am happy to provide support in this situation.

Good day. My name is Evan.

From the questioner's description, it appears that the domestic violence suffered during childhood has resulted in a lack of confidence in the possibility of a fulfilling life, an inability to believe in the potential for happiness, and a reluctance to accept the possibility of a positive future. This has led to a state of self-doubt and depression.

From the questioner's description, it appears that the questioner has endured significant challenges throughout their life. The avoidance of parental violence has undoubtedly exerted a considerable toll on the questioner's emotional and psychological well-being. It is evident that the current situation is influenced by the questioner's parents' upbringing and personality traits.

It is possible that the questioner's parents have instilled the relevant concepts in them since childhood, and that they either beat or scold their children. It is also possible that the parents do not love the questioner, but that they are unsure of how to express themselves, and that they have simply copied the past model of the original family on the questioner. It is clear that the parents themselves have hatred, and that venting it on the questioner is also an extremely inappropriate approach.

It is my contention that the reason the questioner's parents treat him this way is due to the influence of their own family. When children grow up, they are influenced by their family of origin, and in addition to physical inheritance, there is also a considerable amount of character inheritance.

Such behaviors may be perceived as normal by parents, yet they frequently inflict significant harm upon children. Herein, I aim to offer the original poster (OP) a reassuring gesture and impart a modicum of fortitude to comprehend one's parents' conduct.

In light of the fact that the question was posed on this platform, I will also proffer some brief advice to the author.

It is imperative to confront the influence of the original family.

One might inquire as to the impact that one's familial background has had on one's life. This raises the question of whether such circumstances preclude the possibility of happiness.

One might inquire whether the questioner is destined to endure a life of misery. However, it is not for us to decree such a fate.

One might be forgiven for questioning whether this view is too absolute. It would therefore be beneficial for the questioner to attempt to distinguish for themselves whether these views are indeed correct, who brought them to the questioner, or whether they are merely subjective feelings.

One might attempt to refute some of the prevailing views on this topic and the views presented by these original families to ascertain whether these views are widely held in society or represent a narrow perspective. If these views are merely one's own opinion and not universally held, the questioner can recognize the influence of their original family in shaping these beliefs.

It is possible for everyone to experience happiness and a positive quality of life. When the questioner recognizes that their internal behavioral patterns have been shaped by their family of origin since childhood, can they then identify any irrationality in their thoughts?

It is essential to comprehend the rationale behind the parents' approach to the subject.

The parents of the question asker treat the question asker in this way, and the way they communicate with their children was imprinted upon them by their parents' original family. This model is deeply ingrained in their psyches, and they will bring this model into the family they form themselves.

It is possible that, from their perspective, treating their children in this manner is perceived as normal due to the fact that it is consistent with the way they were treated themselves. However, it is important to recognise that times have changed and that this approach may lead to a number of issues.

It is beneficial to understand the motives behind one's parents' actions. This understanding can facilitate the release of emotions, promote a more composed response to their actions, and enhance overall well-being.

The questioner must therefore comprehend the genesis of the parents' behavioral patterns. It is similarly essential to recognize that parents are constrained to perpetuate the patterns instilled in them by their original family in their treatment of their children. This lack of awareness on the part of parents is not a reflection of a lack of desire to provide their children with love and affection; rather, it stems from the fact that they are unaware of the necessity to develop a more conscious approach to parenting.

One must accept the past as it was and move forward.

The questioner requires a new beginning. I recall hearing the phrase, "You were in the past, but you don't live in the past."

It is a common experience to encounter misfortune in one's lifetime. It is therefore essential to live in the present.

Buddha observed that the mind cannot be fixed on the past or future, but rather must be open to the present moment. It is important not to dwell on past sadness or disappointment or future worries. Instead, it is helpful to acknowledge one's feelings but then let them go.

It is important to recognize that the harm caused by one's parents may not be a reflection of a lack of love, but rather a manifestation of their inability to break free from the behavioral patterns instilled in them by their own families. These patterns are often perpetuated in their interactions with their children, leading to a cycle of unintentional replication. The crucial step is to learn to forgive oneself. It is possible that in the past, parents may have had good intentions but were constrained by the rules and traditions they had learned from their elders. As one transitions into adulthood and establishes their own independent identity, it can be beneficial to assess the influence of one's parents and identify ways to move forward independently.

It is important to learn to release one's emotions.

The influence of the original family on the question owner and the doubt in the face of beautiful things can be alleviated through appropriate means. The question owner may wish to consider venting their negative emotions through participation in sports or hobbies. Following the expression of these emotions through these activities, the question owner may find their mood gradually returning to a state of calm.

In order to circumvent the potential for following in the footsteps of their parents, it is essential for the questioner to develop the capacity to manage and express their negative emotions in a constructive manner. This will serve to mitigate the influence of the emotional pollution they may receive from their parents. When confronted with a challenging situation, it is possible to express one's thoughts and feelings in a manner that is both appropriate and effective.

To ascertain what constitutes a good life, one must consider that regardless of its transitory nature, it is nevertheless present at this moment.

It is recommended that you seek the guidance of a qualified mental health professional.

Should one find it challenging to accept the influence of one's family of origin and be uncertain about how to embrace the beauty of life, it may be beneficial to seek the guidance of a professional psychologist. It is this writer's recommendation that one may wish to identify a suitable psychological counselor or listener on a psychological platform and share one's past experiences with them. It is believed that such a course of action could prove beneficial in moving beyond the constraints of one's past experiences.

It is my hope that this response will prove beneficial to the questioner.