How can you love yourself when there is no way to fill the emptiness inside?

Hello, question asker!

I am a healing practitioner, and I'm so happy you asked this question! First of all, I want to give you a big hug. You are not alone in feeling this way. It is perfectly normal to feel this way sometimes. You cannot fill the emptiness in your heart, and you cannot learn to love yourself. But you can learn to love yourself again!

In the world of relationships, there are endless possibilities and no right or wrong. Everyone is unique and special in their own way. Some people may not be suitable for each other, but that doesn't mean they can't find love elsewhere. Our original family may have influenced us in certain ways, but we can choose to break free from those patterns. Everyone deserves to be noticed and respected. When we feel a deep lack of security inside, it's time to embrace our inner strength and find ways to fill that void. We can't control what others do or don't do, but we can control how we react to it. The more we lack paternal love, the more we can seek spiritual comfort from the opposite sex who is older than us and gain a deeper sense of self-worth. A person who loves themselves will definitely know how to love others, and they will also gain a sense of satisfaction in the depths of their hearts after filling the emptiness.

There's this amazing, ambiguous object that we don't know much about yet, but we're excited to find out more! We're having a blast chatting with him and feeling like we're being loved. We're enjoying the spiritual pleasure of being with him and just loving his cuteness, tenderness, and companionship. We've already moved from the idea of affection, and it's been a blast! Even though we don't know each other yet, our feelings are attracted because of curiosity, and we're separated because of attraction. The liking and admiration after the attraction will first make people very fascinated, but when you get to know someone deeply, this initial passion will slowly fade away.

It's true, you enjoy this feeling for him. It might not be love, but it's something even more special. In each other's hearts, you're the best supporter of each other's spiritual world. At the same time, it fills your heart with a strong sense of power and hope!

I like to say things to make him jealous, but I don't do it because I don't want to lose him. Then I watch him get anxious and suffer, and when he expresses his frustration and sadness, I can finally conclude from his anxiety and frustration that "ah, so he likes/loves me so much." Only then can I feel more like "being loved." But this way hurts both myself and the other person. It's a little hard for me to say those things too, but I'm working on it!

He has been there for me a lot, and it's been amazing! I still feel a bit empty inside, but I'm working on it. Sometimes I even get suspicious and wonder if he doesn't like me or if he's just being nice to me. But he is very gentle and considerate, and when I'm sad, he always consoles and comforts me. No one has ever treated me like this before, taking such good care of my emotions. He can sense my emotions very well, and he can see and take care of even the slightest change in my mood. The more people who know you, the more they will be affected by your emotions. Although sometimes you may seem "naughty," his way of caring and showing love can touch you inexplicably. You know that besides your parents, there are really people in the world who care about you, and it's so exciting to realize it! Your sensitive and independent personality makes you feel that it's not real, but it is! Sometimes you even worry that behind all your troubles there is a self-seeking shadow, but you're learning to recognize it as just your own shadow. So learning to grow up slowly is also a sign of your own maturity, and it's a great feeling!

Now I'm crying while writing these words, but it's so hard in a good way! I feel that maybe I don't know how to love myself or take care of my emotions. No matter how much he gives to me, I still feel so empty and lonely. What should I do? Psychological attachment will tell you to empathize, but it will also tell you that it is a sign of your immaturity. Combining your situation, I will give you a few suggestions for reference:

1. Problems in the original family will be brought to our later new family. If you love someone, you'll do anything for them! You'll want them to do more for you, so they can be by your side to protect and care for you, rather than as your lover. Sometimes what we really want deep down is the right to be loved or the relationship we cherish.

2. Have a good talk! It'll be over before you know it. If it's the right person, it's love! If it's the wrong person, it's just youth. If you really make a mistake, it's just youth gone to the dogs. There's nothing to be sorry about! The most important thing is to learn to protect yourself.

3. It's so important to know about his past and everything you can control. A relationship based on emotions alone will not have too many problems, as long as no physical relationship has occurred. The only problem that cannot be solved is one that you create for yourself. The best option is to accept things as they are, and you can do it!

4. Love someone! Age is no problem, distance is no problem, time is no problem. We need to reconcile with our past selves, know the part we lack, and realize that the difficulty is not to be feared, but the fear of not facing it.

5. Be willing to go out and be brave and true to yourself. If you are not willing to go out, you are still part of the world. In the end, the world connects you and me. All the best!

#I don't know where your relationship is at the moment, so Yeliu will only analyze the available information, but I'm excited to see what he has to say! The suggestions are for reference only, but I think you'll find them helpful.

P.S. If you're truly together, you'll feel at ease. If you're not together, you'll feel optimistic. You just hope the other person can love you a little more than you love them.

You feel empty because you feel unseen.

You don't know how you look to the other person, so the relationship is probably unclear.

The ambiguous stage carries uncertainty and unease.

If you make him jealous, you can make yourself very unhappy. This can make your relationship stronger.

It's hard for others to connect with you emotionally.

You're also trying to prove you matter to the other person.

But this isn't constructive. It doesn't help you understand why this happened.

This is like saying you hurt each other. It disrupts the relationship.

Anxiety and uncertainty may be why it's hard to confirm your relationship. This kind of damage may also be why it's slow to progress.

You may need to look back and tell your story. What happened to you during your upbringing made you feel unseen.

What do your caregivers see when they're with you? What do they think?

You can only enter a relationship when you've shared who you are.

I get it, OP. When you're chatting with someone you don't know, it's easy to feel happy when you're keeping each other warm and getting what you want. It's a nice way to avoid thinking about the problems that come with being together in reality.

But this is also why you feel so empty inside.

As you said, you are a person with delicate emotions, and your conversations and companionship with him are just about getting what you want. No matter how gentle and considerate he is to you, it is only temporary and there is no future. In the eyes of your sensitive heart, this kind of companionship is full of a sense of instability, like a passing affair, so it will make you feel empty. You try him out through various means, trying to prove that he really cares about you, because you are secretly pleased with his overreaction, but also feel guilty about your own actions. You are confused and even defeated because the complex emotions of emptiness, joy, secret pleasure, and guilt are mixed together.

I'm not against relationships where both people are happy with the arrangement. But it should be a positive experience for both of you, not a negative one.

Right now, this relationship is making you feel negative emotions. To fix this, I have three suggestions.

First, try to deepen your mutual understanding and manage it carefully. It's clear that you have a tacit understanding in your communication and also have tenderness and compassion for each other. If it's possible, you can try to deepen your understanding, truly be together, and cherish the person you are destined to be with.

Second, think of the relationship as dessert, not the main course. If practical reasons make it impossible to be together, the questioner can try gradually reducing the time invested in the relationship. This should be done especially after communicating with the other person, reducing thoughts about the relationship and doubts about whether the other person loves them, and purely enjoying the pleasure of loving and being loved.

Third, think about your sense of humor. When two people are together, there are many ways to tell if the other person loves you or is just messing with you.

There are lots of ways to show love and affection, not just the obvious ones.

I really hope that this relationship will make the questioner happier than sad in the end.

It would be beneficial to fill and establish your own sense of security, learn how to love yourself, and be both the giver and the recipient.

When I'm with him, I'm reminded of how kind, considerate, and thoughtful he is, and how he cares for my emotional well-being. We can start with these observations and apply the same approach to ourselves.

First, it might be helpful to try to identify the positive qualities you find attractive in others and in yourself. Everyone has their own strengths, but it can be challenging to be fully aware of them all the time. One way to gain insight is to seek feedback from others who can offer a different perspective.

For instance, you may find that those around you are more inclined to praise you, that you are more willing to communicate with them, or that they ask you for advice when they encounter problems. These external social behaviors can all reflect your strengths and appealing qualities. Whether it's your appearance or your inner qualities, you may find that you produce the essence of liking to have those things when you discover the things you like about yourself.

Second, when you feel that others are gentle and considerate towards you, and you discover that you like this feeling, you might consider being gentle and considerate towards yourself. When you have time, you could prepare exquisite meals three times a day. When you are in a hurry, you might prepare your favorite fast food. You could prepare a snack cabinet for yourself and regularly add new snacks. On holidays and anniversaries, you could buy a small ornament that you have liked for a long time as a gift.

Third, spiritual pleasure. It might be said that the hormones produced during the stages of falling in love or being in an ambiguous relationship cannot be replaced by other emotions. This could mean that spiritual pleasure can be replaced by spiritual companionship.

It might be helpful to consider that having a hobby, reading can generate spiritual companionship with the author, music can generate spiritual communication with like-minded people, and even games can generate a unique spiritual connection with teammates.

Fourth, it would be beneficial to learn how to regulate your emotions and find ways to relieve negative emotions.

You might consider learning some meditation techniques, perhaps just five minutes a day, to help you relax your mind. You could also look into yoga, which can help to soothe your emotions while also exercising your body.

It may be helpful to learn to be self-aware, so that you can discover the reasons for your bad mood and truly solve the problem.

It would be beneficial for both individuals to enjoy themselves during this ambiguous stage when feelings cannot be expressed in words. It is also a wonderful period in a relationship, and at the same time a very precious time. However, if you are nervous and worried during this period and cannot devote yourself fully, it might not be the best approach.

When you are with him, you may find that your thoughts naturally turn to him and your feelings of self are enhanced.

If you feel a sense of emptiness or loneliness, it might be helpful to adjust your expectations gradually. While doing so, you can also gradually accept a little sense of emptiness and loneliness. It's important to remember that these feelings are normal, and they don't necessarily need to disappear completely before they are good.

Hello, question asker! I'm here to offer my support and guidance, as a fellow traveler on this journey.

From the words of the questioner, I sense a lack of confidence in this love and a sense of uncertainty.

It's possible that the questioner was in a long-term situation where they didn't feel affirmed, which might have led to feelings of uncertainty and a sense of doubt about their own worthiness of love. Alternatively, a lack of love in the family could have contributed to the questioner's longing for love. Regardless of the underlying reasons, however, this approach to relationships is not ideal.

It is important to recognize that excessive dependence on another person, even if they hold you in high regard, can test the limits of their patience. A lifetime is a finite period of time, yet it is also a significant span. Such dependence can potentially exhaust the energy of the other person and lead them to withdraw.

It seems that the current situation of the questioner is characterised by feelings of helplessness and loneliness. This may be due to a lack of support and a lack of confidence, which makes it difficult for them to find a foothold for their confidence. In light of this, it might be helpful to consider the following suggestions for the questioner:

Perhaps the best way to distinguish between true love and loneliness and the desire for companionship is to learn to love yourself first. This can help you make your own judgments in a relationship without being overly dependent, and it can also help you not worry when the other person doesn't reply to you for a while.

It can be challenging to discern between love and dependence when there is a lack of love in the original family. This can lead to making the wrong choices and judgments. Even if you are reluctantly together, this borderless dependence can also make the other person tired and unable to support it.

It might be helpful to have an in-depth exchange with one's own heart and ask oneself what the reason is for this emptiness and loneliness. For example, I used to be afraid of marriage, worrying that I was not in good health and could not have children, and that my parents' relationship in my original family was tense. I was afraid that I would lead a similar life, and that I would long for love but not be able to say no, which could potentially lead to a situation where I didn't know what I wanted.

I have an extreme inferiority complex, which makes me feel that it is enough that someone can look at me. I also have the feeling that there is nothing worth being loved by others. This extreme contradiction makes me very confused, so I hesitate when I should make a decision, and I shrink back when I should work hard to make things work. When I'm in love, I keep testing the other person, and we break up and get back together countless times. In the end, an unexpected pregnancy forced me into marriage. I believe that assertiveness, self-confidence, and spiritual independence are the foundation of a relationship.

I would like to suggest to the questioner that:

1. It might be helpful to ask yourself why you want to fall in love. Is it because you really like someone, or because you're unsure of how to say no? Or is it because you're lonely and want someone to keep you company, or because you feel like you lack love in your life?

2. Could I ask whether you are able to be alone? Do you ever feel anxious when you are on your own, to the point of feeling pessimistic?

3. Do you feel confident in your ability to say no, or do you tend to worry about rejection, which may lead you to try to please others?

4. Do you feel content with who you are? Can you embrace your imperfections and navigate them with composure?

It might be challenging to feel confident in a relationship if you deny your appearance, inner qualities, and abilities.

It is only through self-knowledge and understanding that one can effect change and gain the respect and care of the other party in an intimate relationship.

1. It might be helpful to distinguish between love and dependence. Dependence can sometimes feel like grasping at straws when someone treats you kindly. Love, on the other hand, is when two independent souls are drawn to each other.

2. It might be helpful for the questioner to learn to be alone. Having a strong heart and the ability to cope with setbacks often comes from being at peace in solitude.

3. It might be helpful to learn to say no. This could help you to know what you want, avoid over-dependence, and distinguish between love and dependence.

4. Try to accept yourself and your imperfections. Once you have acknowledged the situation as it is, you may find it easier to find the courage to change and understand your reasons for wanting to change.

5. Consider developing a hobby or professional specialty. Having a skill or area of expertise can help you feel more confident, and confidence can help you cope with challenges. People who are happy and fulfilled tend to experience less anxiety and emptiness.

Some things may require a period of reflection and understanding. It is often only after experiencing a situation first-hand that one can fully grasp its nuances and navigate it successfully. Learning from the experiences of others can also be a valuable tool in avoiding similar missteps.

I hope you will find this information helpful to consider.

Hello,

You want the other person to love and care for your relationship. But if you keep doing this, the other person will get impatient.

If we don't have enough inner strength, we'll develop unhealthy ways of coping. We'll feel insecure and hope that others will love us to make us feel secure.

It could be due to past emotional trauma or a lack of connection to your family of origin. Either way, it's hard to understand how you feel.

How to solve it:

[1] Learn to recognize your emotions.

When you feel angry or want someone to do something, think about why and then try to calm down.

[2] You can seek counseling.

If you can't figure it out on your own, you can also seek professional counseling. A counselor can help you understand why you have this problem. You also need to understand yourself. Apart from outside help, you need to explore yourself and build self-confidence.

[3] Build self-confidence and feel secure.

It's important to feel secure and confident, but also know you don't need to rely on others. Take responsibility for yourself and build your self-confidence so you can handle anything in your relationship.

I hope these opinions help you.

Hello, question asker!

From what you've told me, it seems like you might be lacking a sense of security and the ability to love and be loved. This can leave you feeling empty inside and unable to fill your heart. Is that something you can relate to?

As someone who feels the same way, I want to give you a big, warm hug!

Meanwhile, when you became aware of it and came here to talk about it, I think you have already begun to awaken. You have already begun to constantly find ways to love yourself, which is so great to see! Do you agree with what I said?

You described meeting a mysterious person. It's so interesting how you don't know each other, but he's still there for you in so many ways. He gives you a lot of company and help, and also a lot of love. But in the process, you may always have doubts for some reason, and you don't feel a sense of completeness inside, which makes you feel very uncomfortable. Is that right?

I really want to tell you that many people feel this way. It's not your fault! Maybe because of our family of origin, we didn't get enough security or a sense of being loved, so we are always trying to confirm that we are loved inside, always seeking love from the outside.

It's been said that the lucky are healed by their childhood, and the unfortunate heal their childhood. Well, now that we've begun to grow up, you've already awakened to some extent. And we can alleviate this uncomfortable feeling by adjusting ourselves.

If a miracle happens, your uncomfortable feelings disappear, and you have the ability to love and be loved, what would your state of life be like? I'd love to know what you've done to make the miracle happen!

Once the miracle happens, will you notice a difference in yourself? Who will be the first to see the change?

I don't know all the details of your situation, but I can offer some general advice based on what you've told me. I hope it helps you to see things more clearly and to feel able to love and be loved in return.

First, learn to love yourself!

Loving yourself is a lifelong romance. It's actually very simple! But we all know how it goes. We didn't get the love and attention we needed as kids, so it can feel pretty empty when we try to love ourselves now. Even if others love us, we still have doubts. So we have to learn to love ourselves!

To love yourself is to respect your own feelings, to learn to say no, to learn to protect yourself. When we do this, we gain inner strength. And when we love ourselves, we can love others and be loved in return. What do you think?

And secondly, we need to give ourselves a boost of self-confidence!

It's totally normal to feel insecure sometimes. We're all afraid of losing out, and that's okay! If you want to change, you can work on improving yourself and boosting your self-confidence. Once you feel more secure, you'll have the courage to move forward with determination.

Here you can find a sense of accomplishment by discovering new hobbies and immersing yourself in things you love. It's a great way to improve yourself!

And then, through more awareness and clarification, we can start to make changes!

We all know that everything we're aware of stays at the conscious level, and the parts we don't know about stay at the subconscious level. Why do we feel this way? It's because we need to constantly be aware and dig deep into the roots of our subconscious. And only when we know how we feel like this and constantly become aware whenever we have certain emotions will it be more conducive to helping us clarify the future we want.

Next, believe in the power of accumulation!

You're here because you've already taken the first step by becoming aware of this. You want to change this uncomfortable state of affairs, and I admire you for that! Now, please believe in the power of accumulation, make progress every day, and don't compare yourself with others or with your past self. In this way, little by little, we will become more and more powerful and gain a relaxed and carefree life.

And finally, don't be afraid to seek help from a professional counselor.

We all have our own struggles, and that's okay! When we're feeling lost in our own confusion, it's perfectly normal to seek help from a professional counselor. These amazing individuals use their expertise to help us understand ourselves better, adjust our perceptions, and create a safe and inclusive environment where we can feel empowered.

Of course, if you're interested, you can also learn about psychology, which I'm sure will be of some help in our lives!

Finally, there's a saying that life has a way of healing those who are willing to be healed. When you're confused enough to come here, it means you're willing to be healed and have higher expectations. So now, please believe in yourself, please learn to love yourself, and please believe in the power of accumulation. As long as you don't give up, things will definitely get better and better, and you'll find a breakthrough to solve your problems and gain a relaxed and carefree life.

Hello, questioner! You ask, "How can I love myself when I feel empty inside?"

First, I want to commend you for being aware of your inner world and your thoughts on loving yourself. Now, let's take a look at your question.

You say you have an ambiguous relationship with your partner. You don't know each other well, but you get what you need from each other. You enjoy chatting with him, feel loved, and enjoy the mental pleasure of being with him. You just like his cuteness and the tenderness and companionship he gives you. You like saying things to make him jealous, but you don't do it because you don't want to let him go and then watch him get anxious and suffer.

When the other person expresses their frustration and sadness, you can then conclude from their impatience and frustration, "Ah, so he really likes/loves you," and you can feel even more that you are "loved." However, this hurts you and the other person, and you feel a bit bad about saying those things.

He spends a lot of time with you, but you still feel very empty inside. Sometimes you even become paranoid, wondering if he doesn't like you or if he's just being nice to you. But he is very gentle and considerate towards you. You are sad, and he keeps reassuring and comforting you. No one has ever treated you this way or cared so much about your emotions in the past. He is very good at sensing your emotions, and he can see and take care of even the slightest change in your mood.

You're crying as you write these words. It's tough. You think it might be because you don't know how to love yourself or take care of your emotions. No matter how much he gives you, you still feel empty and lonely. What should you do?

It's important to understand yourself, know yourself, and know what your true needs are.

As the saying goes, "You know yourself better than anyone else." The person who is always by your side in this life is yourself, and you know yourself better than anyone else.

You feel like you don't know how to love yourself or take care of your emotions, and you need your romantic partner to help you do so. When you're with him, you feel happy chatting with him and like you're being loved. You enjoy the mental pleasure of being with him.

However, you're not sure if his feelings for you are real. You don't have any specific examples to show that they're not, but you have several examples to show that they are, as follows:

1. You sometimes say things to make him jealous, and when you see him get upset because of it, you feel loved. Even though you test him in this way, he is still very patient, gentle, attentive, and fully devoted to you.

His gentle and considerate company will make you feel bad about hurting him and yourself. The fact that he can see when you're hurting him shows that he cares about you.

2. In your previous life, you've never met someone who cares about you as much as he does. He's the first person who treats you so gently and considerately. When you're sad or upset, he'll always be there for you, comforting you, reassuring you, and taking care of your emotions. He can sense your emotions, and even the slightest change in your mood will not escape his notice.

He really takes good care of you—carefully, thoughtfully, tenderly, and thoughtfully. You feel loved.

The above two examples can prove his love for you, but there's no way to prove he's not sincere. It seems that the more sincere he is, the more you'll doubt yourself after testing and hurting him. You're wondering whether you should do this or not?

You want to learn to take care of your emotions and love yourself, and you don't want to be dependent on external conditions so that you can only be loved. If you want to learn to love yourself, you need to understand yourself, know yourself, and know what your real needs are.

When you understand yourself fully and completely, you can take good care of your emotions and know how to love yourself.

I hope my answer is helpful to you! Wishing you the best!

I love you, and I think the world loves you too!

Some of the security you feel may come from the outside, not from within. We have things we can't control, like how others comfort you or how your own life works.

In your current life, there is an ambiguous object. Because of its ambiguity, you may feel loved and have your own thoughts and impulses. After you feel these elements of love, you may still feel lacking.

You can't fill a black hole with others. You need to explore from within. What was your relationship with your parents like?

Exploring your family of origin helps you understand why you feel empty.

They may also regret not being able to accomplish something, like their parents' actions or being ignored when they needed help. There may be blind spots in Chinese-style education.

Look at the emptiness you have created and what it can do.

Is it because of certain people or things that you feel empty? You enjoy being loved, but you also feel uneasy.

You may feel happy at first, but it will change.

You may feel empty or have doubts, thinking the other person may be doing something else. When they don't reply, message you back, or show you better behavior, you may worry and hesitate. This is something you need to be aware of. Perhaps when receiving love and pleasure from the outside world, we also need to adjust ourselves a little, because many things are not directly obtainable from the outside world.

Start from within and adjust slowly. Tell yourself you've already received love and care, even if you've had unhappy experiences. Your current situation is different. You have energy for self-growth and see breakthroughs. Get psychological counseling. Read "Love Yourself Back," "The Reason to Live," and "Explosive Growth."

ZQ?

Hello, question asker!

Your words make me feel so sad. But here's the good news: even if you have someone by your side who can warm you, you can still conquer the emptiness and loneliness that eat away at you, little by little, consuming your love for yourself and for life.

I totally get that feeling of having an empty hole inside, like it can't be filled. Sometimes, someone's care can make you feel secure and warm, but after a while, the hole is still there. It seems like you're the only one in the world, and no one can really understand you.

I often encounter such visitors in relationship-is-good-or-bad-14695.html" target="_blank">counseling, and I would love to share some of my thoughts with you! Of course, everyone grows up in different ways, and I'd be really interested to know whether you think it applies to you.

Absolutely! A good relationship can totally warm you up and fill that emptiness and loneliness.

When we are loved and cared for, it's as if we're truly experiencing the feeling of being alive! It's as if our value is being experienced through being loved. In such a relationship, our inner selves also grow and change. Of course, the relationship needs to be stable and long-lasting, because you will constantly be testing the relationship for authenticity.

Absolutely! You will keep testing him.

Absolutely! You're testing whether he can be good to you all the time and whether he'll abandon you one day. When the relationship really stays the same, you'll see that he really is good to me!

I absolutely believe that having a good relationship is very important to me!

***A good relationship is actually a process of repair, and the final solution is in your hands!

I'm so excited to share this with you! It's a bit like chicken soup for the soul, but it's absolutely true.

Think about it! Everyone leaves this world alone, just as they came into it alone. But that doesn't make this life any less worthwhile. The whole point of living is to gain a richer experience!

No matter how many people there are around who love you, you can still choose to live your life bravely, even when you feel lonely or empty.

(This is the existentialist point of view.)

What does it mean to live courageously? I believe it means embracing the fact that we were born to enjoy intimacy, despite the inevitable loneliness that comes with it. We shouldn't run away from it or let ourselves down. Instead, we should seize the opportunity to live a life of purpose and fulfillment.

There is an easy way to deal with this, and it's going to be great!

Self-soothing is an amazing way to recharge our batteries! (In the Transactional Analysis school of thought, it is a very important technique.)

It's as simple as giving yourself daily reassurance! For example, listen to ten minutes of music without being disturbed by others, drink a cup of your favorite milk tea every day, or praise yourself in one way every day (e.g., "I went to bed early today, that's great"). These reassurances may seem selfish or boastful to others, but put aside these judgments for now and just try it for a month! Many visitors have benefited from this, and you will too!

This is just a formality, and the best part is that you can use it to contact your true needs and fill your unmet void! As for this emptiness and loneliness, they may be part of your personality, and there are many reasons for their formation.

It could be a childhood trauma (which you may not even remember, as it is buried deep in the subconscious), or something else. It is so important to look for the root cause, and you can do this with the help of a professional counselor!

I'm thrilled to have shared these suggestions with you! I'm excited to continue communicating with you if needed. I'm a psychological counselor, Wang Xuejing, and I wish you a speedy recovery!

Good morning.

Hug you ~ It is natural for everyone to want to be deeply understood and accepted. This is a practical need of human existence. There is no need to feel confused or ashamed about it. On the contrary, it is important to cherish the people who appear by your side. ☕️ ~

It is worth noting that women are often sensitive, may lack a sense of security, and may long to be understood. These traits can become even more pronounced during the period of falling in love.

In matters of the heart, we tend to gravitate towards individuals whose attachment styles align with our own. Those with secure attachment patterns, for instance, often possess the ability to regulate their emotions, strive to meet the needs of their partners in a way that fosters trust, and ultimately form stable and intimate relationships. On the other hand, individuals with ambivalent attachment patterns may face challenges in accurately interpreting information, leading to a lack of clarity in their communication and emotional fluctuations that can be difficult for their partners to navigate.

It may be said that people who have a good understanding of themselves and are aware of their own inner patterns are better able to release emotions, express their needs, and establish an inner connection with their partners.

It seems that the questioner has not yet encountered any significant challenges in their relationship with the person they have feelings for. It is simply that they have suddenly found themselves in the company of someone who is very serious and attentive. The questioner is experiencing a sense of warmth, yet at the same time, they are subconsciously becoming more cautious, although they may not be aware of this. They are trying to identify the other person's true feelings, which is a very understandable emotion.

It's akin to a little animal that has suddenly been placed in the care of a kind individual. It will observe this "carer" with caution until it can truly relax and trust the other person with peace of mind. Once this trust is established, the animal will be able to show its gentler side.

In the context of relationships, it's important to recognize that everyone is unique and has their own needs and vulnerabilities. Those who may lack love in their hearts may feel a longing to be seen and cared for, yet may also feel hesitant to open themselves up fully. This dynamic is not exclusive to one person, but can be experienced by both parties involved, with varying degrees of intensity.

Before entering a truly intimate relationship, there will be a period of trial and error for both parties. If you feel secure and attracted to each other, you may wish to consider allowing the relationship to develop naturally. At this time, there is no need to rely on guesses, speculations, or doubts to portray the other person. Instead, you can get to know each other in an all-round way through contact and communication, and the other person will gradually become real.

It seems that the questioner's current sense of emptiness may be rooted in the fact that they have built up a lot of information about themselves, but that they are perhaps not quite ready to take the next step. They may feel stuck in a place of self-doubt and conflict, and their emotions may fluctuate as a result. It can be easy to feel exhausted, but it's important to remember that security and trust take time to build. If the other person seems like a good ideal partner, it might be worth giving each other the chance to really get to know each other.

Even if our illusions are shattered, time flies, and the white horse gallops through the gap in time, it is still a beautiful experience, as long as we have worked hard and fought for it.

I wish you the best of luck and encourage you to keep up the good work!

I hope my answer can be of some help to you.

It's possible that you're aware of your emotions but may not know how to love yourself or take care of your emotions. This could be why, no matter how much he gives you, you feel so empty and lonely. Psychology suggests that we must first take care of ourselves, learn to love ourselves, and learn to seek within.

It is often the case that what we lack internally will manifest externally. When we lack love internally and do not love ourselves enough, we will always want to be loved and cared for. However, due to our constant internal lack, even if the outside world gives us the love and care we want, we may still be suspicious, because our internal state is unstable. We may project these internal uncertainties onto the outside world, so the outside world will not be as stable and secure.

I believe the most important thing we can do is to learn to take care of our own needs, to love ourselves, to satisfy those parts of ourselves that are lacking, and to give ourselves the love, care, affection, recognition, and support that we want.

If I might offer you my advice, it would be this:

Learning to accept and understand yourself is an important step in developing self-love.

A person who loves themselves is first and foremost someone who understands and accepts themselves, someone who can accept all of themselves and dare to face their true selves. To truly understand and accept oneself is not to affirm only the good aspects of oneself, to see only the excellent parts of oneself, but to be able to accept one's shadowy parts, to allow oneself to be inadequate and imperfect, and to fully accept this true self.

It can be challenging to unconditionally accept ourselves, as we may often hear the voice of dissatisfaction in our minds. We often have various demands on ourselves, and it can be difficult to be like the sun, warming everything without discrimination. Therefore, accepting ourselves may require a lot of practice and learning. You may find it helpful to read the books "Rebuilding Your Life" and "Accepting an Imperfect Self." These books may assist you in improving your ability to accept yourself.

It is important to remember that the most beneficial thing you can do is to engage in the exercises regularly. This will help you to truly understand and accept yourself.

2. Loving yourself is something that can be learned and requires practice.

It is worth noting that many of us, myself included, did not learn to love ourselves from birth. Our capacity to love ourselves is something that can be developed through practice and learning.

Due to our own growth experiences, we may have internalized some negative beliefs that can affect our self-perception. These beliefs may include feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness, or a sense of being a burden to others. Even if we have positive qualities, these beliefs can lead to a sense of worthlessness or unworthiness of love. This is because we may not yet have fully awakened and grown, and may not yet have fully recognized our own patterns, which can lead to repeating old patterns.

When you begin to reflect on your life and your thoughts and beliefs, you may find it helpful to examine your own thinking patterns. You can then adjust them as needed, replacing negative beliefs with positive ones, which can help you to achieve a mindset upgrade and construct a positive thinking pattern. This could be seen as an important step in developing self-love. As you continue, you may find that you are no longer controlled and bound by your old patterns and ideas. Instead, you can become the master of your own thoughts, choosing ideas that are more conducive to your physical and mental health. Gradually, you can internalize these positive beliefs so that they become part of you.

It is important to remember that loving yourself is not just a mantra; it is a skill that requires constant practice and cultivation. With dedication and practice, we can learn how to love ourselves. I would like to suggest reading "The Power of Self-Care" and Zhou Fan's self-love course as a starting point. With consistent practice, you will undoubtedly begin to feel more love within.

3. Could I ask you how you love yourself?

First, as I mentioned previously, it is important to accept ourselves unconditionally, in any situation, without judgment, without trading, and without any strings attached. Just as the earth is tolerant and nourishing to all things in the world, we should treat ourselves with the same complete love and acceptance. When you can give yourself this unconditional love, you will find that your inner being will become increasingly soft, warm, and harmonious.

By taking care of our feelings and needs, we can show each other love and care in a sincere way. We can tell him that we need his love and care, and that we care about his love and care. This can help him feel more secure in the relationship and give him a sense of his own value and importance to you. When you can express these needs in the relationship, it can help the other person understand what they can do for you and how they can meet your needs better. This can be a very happy thing for both of you.

Additionally, if the other person is unable to meet our needs, it is important to learn to take care of our own needs as well. For instance, if we desire care from the other person but sometimes find that they are preoccupied and unable to inquire about our well-being, we can also be kind and loving towards ourselves, giving ourselves the love we deserve. By doing so, we can avoid feeling resentful and falling into a victimized mindset.

It would be beneficial to take care of your body, get enough sleep, and eat healthy food. When you don't feel well, it might be helpful to let yourself rest and adjust, rather than forcing yourself to do things that harm your health just to make others happy and satisfied. When we can take care of our bodies, our condition will likely improve, and we will be able to do many things that make us happy and feel good.

It may be helpful to consider learning to care for yourself in a way that is similar to how you would care for a good friend. You are your own best friend, and you know yourself best. When you make a mistake, it may be beneficial to stop blaming yourself and instead comfort and understand yourself as you would a good friend. Give yourself some support and encouragement, and believe in yourself, rather than always belittling yourself. Praise yourself and accept yourself as you would a friend, and you may find that you come to love and like yourself more and more.

There are, of course, many other methods. The books I mentioned earlier may be helpful as they include more detailed practical steps and specific exercises that you can refer to, such as mirror exercises, for example, which can help you to see your own strengths and bright spots, and so on.

Keep up the good work, practice loving yourself, and may you become someone who is satisfied with, accepting of, and kind to yourself. I wish you the best!

Good day. I am a Heart Detective coach. I can help you with this. It seems that your issue is that no matter what you do, you cannot fill the emptiness in your heart. How do you love yourself?

The individual in question has an ambiguous partner with whom they are not fully acquainted. Their relationship is based on a mutual desire for a specific outcome. The individual's partner can provide emotional value and a sense of love. There is a certain spiritual pleasure derived from the relationship. The individual can only be sure that they are loved when they see their partner anxious and distressed. However, this dynamic is not beneficial for either party. There is regret and guilt associated with the individual's actions.

Even when you are with him, you feel a sense of emotional emptiness, and at times, you even become paranoid, wondering if he does not like you or if he is merely being kind to you. However, you are aware that he has been consistently gentle and considerate with you. You are saddened by his tendency to comfort and reassure you. No one in your past has treated you in such a manner or taken such good care of your emotions. As you write these words, you cry, feeling that perhaps it is because you lack the ability to love yourself or take care of your emotions. No matter how much he gives to you, you still feel so empty and lonely. I can see that you are very helpless and sad, because the emptiness inside from a lack of love cannot be filled.

Wu Zhihong, a psychologist at Peking University, states:

One's treatment of others is a reflection of one's inner self.

The manner in which others treat you is reflective of their own inner feelings. This is known as projection.

Your spiritual partner provides you with a great deal of emotional and sentimental value. You are aware that he is very gentle and caring towards you, but you still have difficulty believing that you are lovable and worthy of love. This is why you feel that the other person's affection may be false, and you always test and repeatedly verify whether the other person really cares about you. The world and other people reflect your inner thoughts.

You feel insecure about your ability to be loved, which leads you to believe that others will not love you and that they cannot express their true feelings when they are with you. You seek to obtain something from the other person in exchange. Do you believe the other person has the same view of you? Do you genuinely like the other person and are willing to express your true feelings, or are you merely trading, playing games, and unable to deepen the relationship?

After each test, you experience feelings of guilt because you are leveraging your own insecurity to assess the other person's true feelings in the relationship. This can result in distress for the other person and feelings of sadness for you. You recognize that your actions are driven by your inner feelings of insecurity and the belief that you are unloved. While the other person is not at fault, you find it challenging to break this pattern of behavior.

The compulsive repetition in intimate relationships also occurs in this pattern, which stems from the earliest attachment patterns of the nurturer. If you were raised in an environment where you perceived a lack of love, acceptance, and value, you may exhibit similar levels of distrust and insecurity in your intimate relationships as an adult.

If the other person provides a significant level of support but you do not feel loved, you will still experience feelings of loneliness and emptiness due to the long-term lack of love in your heart. In such cases, it is essential to develop the ability to love yourself and to pursue personal growth through learning and professional assistance.

The questioner may find it beneficial to read Wu Zhihong's books, "Why Love Hurts," "Why Family Hurts," and "May You Have a Life Illuminated by Love." I recommend these books as resources on personal growth and psychology. They are relatively easy to understand.

Alternatively, the questioner may choose to engage the services of a professional counselor to facilitate their personal growth. This approach enables the adult self to accompany the child self, who has historically lacked love, on a journey of healing and self-discovery. The goal is to foster the ability to love oneself and others.

Love is a skill that requires learning and practice, and can only be acquired through dedication and effort.

Intimate relationships also require in-depth communication, mutual giving, mutual satisfaction of material and spiritual needs, honesty, and confrontation with one's true self. Accepting one's own vulnerabilities and shortcomings as well as those of the other person, uniting as one to overcome difficulties together, and slowly feeling the nourishment of love during the process of life's friction is what heals your inner wounds. A good and healthy intimate relationship can heal your inner wounds, but it requires two people to work together and not give up. It is a difficult journey.

I hope the questioner can resolve the issue promptly. If further communication is required, please click below to find a coach to interpret, select a heart exploration to assist you, and communicate with me directly. Best regards.