How can you meet your emotional needs when you are emotionally distant from your family?

Good morning, I am writing to you today to inquire about a matter that has come to my attention. Please let me know if this is not the appropriate time to contact you. Best regards,

From your description, I can discern your discomfort and your keen ability to perceive and reflect. I commend your courage in facing the problem head-on.

I am unsure of the circumstances that have led to the questioner displaying such awareness and perception. Could you please elaborate on the source of your strength, which has enabled you to persevere despite the discomfort you have experienced?

Your feelings are, in fact, valid and accurate.

It is important to note that family is the foundation of our lives. The questioner may feel insecure and seek a sense of dependence due to a lack of maternal love and his father's remarriage.

It is not possible to change other people, but it is possible to love oneself. It is possible to give oneself the things one lacks and to be satisfied.

What is the desired outcome for the questioner? How much progress has been made towards this goal?

If you were to achieve that state, how would your circumstances differ?

I am unaware of the specific situation of the questioner, so I will provide a few tips to help relieve your emotions:

It is recommended that you engage in physical exercise.

Regular exercise has been proven to lift moods. Even a brisk walk or run can help clear the mind and improve overall well-being.

It is important to learn to love yourself.

As the adage goes, self-love is arguably the most romantic act one can perform. How might we love ourselves?

As an example, we can respect ourselves, refrain from self-criticism, and avoid self-blame.

It is advisable to seek the assistance of a professional counselor.

It can assist you in identifying your needs, provide support, and facilitate your growth in a gradual manner.

Life has its share of challenges and rewards. We are not alone in this journey.

From feelings of loneliness and frustration to periods of intense pressure, pain, and anger, we all experience a range of challenging emotions. Additionally, there are instances where we feel as though we are facing a personal storm, dealing with a multitude of physical and mental injuries. It is important to acknowledge that, in order to survive and thrive, we must all engage in some form of income generation.

However, we can adjust our mindset, integrate our resources and strengths, and strengthen our inner selves.

It is essential to establish a personal space that is independent, tranquil, and secure. This space should be conducive to nurturing our inner selves, soothing our troubled minds, and providing us with the utmost support.

No matter what challenges you face, do not lose sight of your goals and do not be afraid to ask for help. I am here to support you and to help you achieve your objectives.

I encourage you to persevere.

Hello! I give you a 360-degree hug!

From your simple questions, it is clear that you are very emotionally dependent on others, which is totally normal! You said that your mother died when you were young, so your psychological development probably stopped after your mother left. You may be an adult in age, but your emotional patterns may have remained stuck after your mother left, and you have not developed intimacy and then independence, as other people do, knowing that you are entering an intimate relationship.

You also said that you have been looking for a mother. And you know what? Each of us is always looking for a mother, a mother in our hearts!

Just be aware that you are looking for a mother and that you are compensating for the lack of close intimacy you experienced as a child in your boyfriend — and you can do it!

When we were young, we were close to our mothers, and our mothers didn't feel suffocated. On the contrary, our mothers were attentive and accompanied us everywhere. But boyfriends are not mothers, and even future marital relationships, no matter how close they are, will never be as close as our relationship with our mothers. So, what can we do? We can establish our inner mother!

It's a challenge for any adult to take on the intimacy we associate with our mothers.

I don't know your age, but I'd guess you're in your twenties, which is the stage in our lives when we develop intimate relationships. Your family relationships are relatively distant, and you've been drifting along on your own for many years. It's normal to want to compensate for the intimacy you haven't received by having a boyfriend—and it's a great idea!

But this is too heavy for anyone!

So what should you do? You can establish your inner mother!

Why not try writing a letter to your mother? You can write out all your hopes, your disappointments, your sadness, your anger, etc.!

Try doing some sports, such as running, yoga, meditation, etc. You'll love how it helps you connect with your inner self!

And there's more! You can also try developing your own interests, such as reading and painting.

You should definitely join some interest groups, such as sports groups, to find a sense of belonging in a group!

I highly recommend you read "Mr. Toad Goes to the Psychiatrist" or talk to a counselor!

I'm a counselor who is often pessimistic and sometimes positive. The world is an amazing place, and I love you!