There are a number of complex factors that contribute to the formation of an affinity for another individual.
It is possible that the other person possesses a quality that we lack but desire. When this quality manifests in the opposite sex, it can exert a powerful influence on us. In such a case, it may be more accurate to say that we are drawn to that quality in the other person rather than the person himself. If that quality were possessed by another individual, it would also hold a certain appeal for us.
This type can be simply understood as "complementarity."
It is possible that the other person possesses qualities or characteristics that we have not previously encountered in our past experiences. This can stimulate our curiosity and desire to experience this novel feeling. In such cases, individuals who are new and exciting can also capture our attention.
This can be simply understood as "similar."
It may be the case that the external or internal conditions of the other person meet our requirements, and that we also develop a favorable impression of them, thinking that they are the type that is tailored to our needs. This type can simply be understood as "meeting the requirements."
The aforementioned factors represent some common reasons that lead to the development of romantic relationships. However, there are also other, more complex elements at play. When individuals experience romantic attraction, they often do not consciously identify the specific reasons behind it. Instead, they may simply feel a sense of emotional connection and attraction.
However, there is always a rationale behind any decision, even if it is not immediately apparent.
If you like someone and are together, can you live happily ever after like in a fairy tale? The answer is an unequivocal no. If that were the case, there would be no more splits and splits-downs, and fairy tales would only last until the end of the book.
It is sufficient to have a positive opinion of the other person to form a mutual liking. However, in a relationship, it is essential to accept the other person fully. This may entail adjusting to certain aspects that are challenging to accept, which requires a period of adjustment. If this adjustment is successful, the relationship can last a long time. Conversely, if the adjustment is unsuccessful, the relationship will naturally come to an end.
This process requires both parties to be determined to stay together, respect each other, and tolerate each other. Additionally, the bottom line of doing things should not differ too much. The bottom line issue can be understood as a matter of three views. If the difference is too great, it is irreconcilable. If you give in in order to stay together, it means the beginning of losing yourself.
It would be prudent for the questioner to consider whether they are seeking a mutually beneficial relationship or a long-term partnership. If the latter is the objective, it is essential to gain a comprehensive understanding of the other person's attributes, beyond merely relying on emotional sentiments.
Comments
It sounds like you're really caught up in your feelings for this person. It's okay to feel uncertain, but maybe taking a small step, like sending a casual message, could help you understand where you both stand.
Sometimes we overthink things and create scenarios in our heads. It might be worth it to just be yourself around him and see how naturally things progress without putting too much pressure on the outcome.
I get that it's scary to put yourself out there, but holding onto this hope can be tiring. Perhaps talking to a friend about it or writing down your thoughts could help you gain some clarity on what you want to do next.
It's important to consider if pursuing this is going to make you happy or cause more pain. If there's no real future with him, it might be healthier to let go and focus on what truly benefits your wellbeing.
Feeling this way about someone is tough, especially when you know there might not be a positive result. But acknowledging your feelings is already a big step. Maybe setting small goals, like interacting more often, can gradually ease you into understanding your situation better.