I extend my support and understanding to you in this challenging situation.
In regard to the impact of your mother's influence on you, you have expressed a desire to persuade or perhaps even deceive her into seeking psychological counseling. It is likely that you have already attempted to do so, but whenever you have mentioned her psychological issues, she has typically responded with intense emotional outbursts. It seems that there is no effective means of communicating with her.
It seems unlikely that you have attempted to deceive your mother, and it is probable that you are aware of the potential consequences. Even if you were to deceive your way into a counseling session, it is likely that the counselor would decline to assist, let alone your mother, who would undoubtedly react with further hostility.
Psychological counseling can facilitate change for those who are willing to engage in the process. It is not constructive to attempt to change your mother through persuasion or deception; such an approach is unlikely to be effective and may even be counterproductive. A counselor will not be able to provide effective guidance in such a case.
It would be prudent to first consider the underlying causes of your mother's behavior. While menopause may be a contributing factor, her needs, emotions, and the perception that she is not a person of worth may be of greater significance.
You discussed the thoughts of other family members but did not address your father's perspective.
However, inaction can also be a form of attitude. The mother suspects her husband of infidelity and monitors his phone. It would be interesting to know whether the father has ever considered providing his wife with a degree of security, tolerance, and patience to reduce her suspicions.
If menopause is inevitable, then the attention of a spouse can facilitate a woman's ability to navigate the changes associated with this stage of life. However, it seems that the father in this situation did not provide the necessary support, and was more likely to accuse his wife of being unreasonable.
The author did not provide insight into the perceptions of the other siblings. Instead, the text asserts that the children have a clear understanding of their father's character.
You articulated your own perspectives, which are likely also those of your children. You perceive your mother as engaging in frequent disputes with your father, as a source of familial disarray, as harboring erratic ideas, and as exhibiting an increasing degree of neuroticism.
The objective is to persuade the mother to cease causing trouble. This is achieved by stating, "If your father has not been unfaithful, there is no need to argue with him." The intention is to stop the mother from disturbing the lives of others. The desired outcome is peace and harmony within the family. In other words, the mother is being persuaded from the perspective of the needs of others.
The woman is experiencing menopause, and her doubts are indicative of her underlying needs. However, her family members are unable to perceive this. They are only able to observe the symptoms affecting their own lives and desire her to rapidly resume her previous role as a mother.
It may be the case that the inability to see her is causing her to increasingly express her needs through various kinds of trouble. At the surface level, the argument is being made that the action is being taken for her own good.
However, your fundamental desire is to avoid any further influence on your lives. This is the problem-solving approach.
In this situation, the initial step is to consider the needs of the mother. It is possible to empathize with her situation by imagining oneself in her position. This would entail being middle-aged, receiving less care from one's husband, and potentially experiencing feelings of dislikeness and belittlement from him, as well as praise for other women.
Children are preoccupied with their own lives, demanding only of themselves but not caring, or willing to spend money but not willing to spend time listening to their mother. I am currently experiencing menopause myself, experiencing panic and suffering from insomnia, while everyone else seems to be taking it in their stride, thinking that it will pass and that I just need to tough it out.
Even if one discloses this information to a friend, the response may be that menopause is a normal process for women and that it will eventually subside. Men, it is often suggested, experience similar changes. Therefore, it is recommended that, as long as the marriage has not been terminated, one should refrain from taking any action.
It must be acknowledged that this is merely conjecture. In the eyes of the general public, including spouses and children, mothers are perceived to have no personal needs, and their physical discomfort is believed to be transient.
If one were in the position of the mother in this scenario and had experienced a similar situation with one's own mother, what would be the desired response from one's children? The answer is straightforward: understanding, empathy, and providing support.
It is important to communicate to your mother that you are aware of her situation and that you are unable to provide assistance. However, reassure her that you will continue to support her in any way you can.
Failure to acknowledge the patient's symptoms will inevitably result in their exacerbation. This phenomenon may be likened to the metaphorical "elephant in the room," which is often circumvented by those in its presence.
However, it is an ever-present entity. Only when one becomes aware of this phenomenon, initiates communication with it, and demonstrates a willingness to cease and desist from one's current activities in order to focus on it, may it become tame and gradually diminish in size.
I frequently experience a state of mind that may be described as Buddhist and depressed. In my professional capacity as a counselor, I endeavor to maintain a positive and motivated outlook. I embrace the world with a sense of love and appreciation.
Comments
It sounds like your mother is going through a really tough time and it's affecting everyone in the family. Maybe we can try to gently suggest that she seeks help from a psychologist or a counselor who specializes in mental health and menopause issues. Sometimes talking to a professional can offer her support and coping strategies.
Your mother's behavior must be incredibly stressful for you and your family. It might be beneficial to have a family meeting where everyone calmly expresses their concerns about her wellbeing and together discuss the possibility of seeking medical advice, focusing on how it could help her feel better and improve family dynamics.
I understand how challenging this situation is for you. Perhaps you could reach out to other family members or close friends of your parents to get their support and perspective. They might be able to help convince your mother to see a doctor or therapist, especially if they bring up the idea in a caring and nonconfrontational way.
This must be so hard for you to witness. Have you considered looking into support groups or online forums for families dealing with similar issues? Sometimes hearing from others who are experiencing the same thing can provide new insights and approaches to handling the situation. Plus, it could be a source of comfort knowing you're not alone in facing this challenge.