How do you deal with emotional instability, emotionalism, mental attrition, and loving yourself?

The original poster demonstrates a comprehensive grasp of his own psychological makeup.

It is fortuitous that the individual in question has previously suffered from depression for a decade and has since recovered, exhibiting only residual emotional issues. Alternatively, it is fortunate that the individual's personality remains somewhat unstable.

Furthermore, the poster's perseverance in seeking both external and internal forms of assistance is likely a contributing factor.

The original poster aspires to become a more well-rounded individual, to be less influenced by psychological factors, and to engage in continuous self-reflection, which is a laudable goal.

The objective here is to provide the original poster with assistance so that he can identify the root of the problem and circumvent potential pitfalls.

The subject displays emotional instability, and may also exhibit personality traits that are unstable.

In other words, when the id and superego are in conflict, the ego is still in a state of immaturity and is unable to reconcile them in order to live in peace.

This can result in internal conflict, which may, over time, contribute to the development of depression.

The aforementioned may be the fundamental tenet underlying your entire psychological journey.

The following constitutes a detailed, specific analysis.

It is possible that emotional instability and emotional problems may be regarded as a residual effect of depression.

Emotional instability is closely related to self-love. A lack of self-love at an early age can result in the accumulation of emotions, leading to self-attack and the subsequent development of depression.

It is possible that emotionality may be a residual effect of depression.

This may also be the primary cause of depression.

Emotionality can be defined as a tendency to be easily influenced by others and to succumb to their influence.

Alternatively, there is a process of self-defeat.

In essence, self-defeat represents the primary causal factor.

Deprivation during the early years of personality formation impedes the development of an individual's unique identity and character.

Alternatively, when individuals are compelled to defend themselves incessantly, they experience a state of chronic suppression, leading to a loss of emotional stability.

The subject under discussion is the inability to love oneself, self-attack, which signifies the refusal to permit oneself to experience happiness in a manner that is natural to the human condition, and the utilisation of the super-ego to impose strict control over one's fundamental needs.

At this juncture, the ego may be in a state of relative inactivity, lacking the capacity to effectively engage with the demands of the situation.

I am highly attuned to auditory and olfactory stimuli, as well as other sensory inputs. I am susceptible to the influence of others, particularly when their opinions are negative. My cognitive abilities are not robust, and I tend to become absorbed in my own thoughts and emotions. This can result in a lack of emotional stability, which in turn affects my judgment and decision-making abilities. I experience a negative shift in my emotional intelligence, which in turn affects my self-esteem and leads to a vicious cycle of internal conflict. This has a significant impact on my personal and professional life, and others have labeled me as childish as a result.

The meaning of this passage can be understood in the following way:

1. Sensitive.

2. Susceptible to external influence.

3. The level of intellectualization is at the level of a child.

In consideration of the aforementioned three points and your behavior, it can be concluded that you are not currently exhibiting the characteristics of an adult.

In other words, it is possible that your psychological state has remained at a certain stage that you reached during your childhood.

Alternatively, when confronted with challenges, one may revert to a more infantile state of mind.

During childhood, an individual's emotional state is largely shaped by external factors.

The personality of childhood has not undergone the typical developmental processes.

It is therefore to be expected that there will be a lack of opinions and a tendency to be at the mercy of others.

This is also a defensive strategy employed when I feel powerless, necessitating my reliance on others to mitigate my vulnerability.

In a state of emotional equilibrium, I am able to accept and comprehend these circumstances.

Emotional stability is indicative of an adult state of mind.

At this juncture, the heart is in a state of harmony.

In the absence of conflict between the ego and the superego, the ego is not compelled to intervene and mediate, thereby alleviating feelings of uncertainty.

Emotional instability and internal depletion impede the ability to overcome difficulties, adhere to convictions, and persevere in achieving goals. Frequently, empty promises are made, which engenders a negative emotional state. A considerable amount of thinking occurs, yet action is lacking. This issue is not readily resolved. It would be greatly beneficial to receive advice on this matter.

In light of the aforementioned analysis, we are compelled to revisit the core principle that gives rise to depression and its associated consequences. It has been established that emotional instability, emotionality, and internal conflict are, in fact, manifestations of an unstable personality.

The ego is in conflict with the superego, and the self is unable to coordinate effectively due to a lack of power.

The solution, therefore, is to pursue personal development, enhance one's resilience, and cultivate stability.

This serves to reinforce and stabilize the ego.

Let us utilize the methodology previously referenced in conjunction with the objective you have established for yourself.

It is recommended that a goal be set which will be persisted with and completed.

However, there is a lack of follow-through.

Even if one is capable of acting, it is unlikely that one will be able to maintain that action over time.

Prior to undertaking any action, it is typical for an individual to engage in a significant amount of reflection. What are the predominant thoughts that occupy your mind in such instances?

The question thus arises as to whether the fear of success or failure is the underlying factor.

In the event that the fear of success is the underlying factor, it would be beneficial to ascertain what would be lost if the desired outcome were to be achieved.

It would be beneficial to ascertain the significance of the potential losses associated with success. Are these losses perceived as important?

In the event of success, one may lose their freedom over time.

Or, if one is fearful of transcending the negative assessment proffered by one's parents—for instance, if they had previously labeled one as "useless"—then it would be tantamount to a betrayal and a negation of their opinion if one were to become useful.

Those who are plagued by such fears and concerns are unlikely to pursue success.

Those who are fearful of failure may be subject to repercussions should they fail to meet expectations.

Such factors include negative comments from others and the ostracising stares that accompany them.

As a result of one's concern for the opinions of others, there is also a proclivity towards self-attack.

Therefore, inaction is the inevitable result of this process.

If one considers these two questions and determines one's true desires, a decision can be made.

Once a decision has been made, it is essential to provide oneself with unwavering support, refrain from self-attack, and cease concerning oneself with the opinions of others.

As the decision-maker, one is ultimately responsible for the choices made.

It can be reasonably assumed that an individual exhibiting unstable personality traits is likely to evince a reluctance to assume responsibility for their own actions.

The capacity to accept the outcome of an event, regardless of whether it is perceived as positive or negative, is indicative of a firm belief system.

By situating oneself at the center, one can construct a stable self-identity.

It is recommended that you set an anchor in your mind.

It is recommended that you carry a small iron rod with you. When you make a decision and wish to implement it firmly, take the iron rod, place it between your eyes, focus, and look at it. This will enhance your sense of power and stability, similar to the effect of the golden cudgel used by the Monkey King.

It is my hope that the aforementioned responses will prove beneficial to you.

My name is Yan Guilai, and I am a practicing psychological counselor. I extend my best wishes for your success.

Hello, I'm therapist Wang Ying.

Let's start with emotions. I was once troubled by them, so I am willing to share about them. Emotions are powerful and manipulative. It is torturous to want to rebel but feel powerless.

I tried different ways to solve it, but I couldn't. Then I realized these methods were about avoiding my emotions. I kept avoiding them, and they kept coming back. I decided not to avoid them and to face them. It sounds helpless, but it's simple.

When I feel negative emotions, I bring my attention back to myself. I find a quiet place to sit, close my eyes, and feel the feelings in my heart. I watch, accept, and comfort them. I know it's my inner child throwing a tantrum, so I take care of it. I also feel what changes in my body. These negative emotions slowly dissipate, and I experience joy and freedom.

I am learning to be stronger. I am learning to not fear negative emotions. I am learning to not be tormented by other people's comments, accusations, complaints, conflicts, etc. I am learning to find a place to sit quietly.

I've shared this method with many people, but few will try it because people avoid facing their pain. They blame others instead. This makes it hard to learn and grow.

Mental depletion is when you think nonsense and even deny and dislike yourself.

The person controlling you is the perfect you. They accuse you when you fail, blame you when you make a mistake, and humiliate you when you have the slightest selfish thought. Your pain comes from a voice telling you that you shouldn't do this, but you can't.

This three-step method can help you stop mental depletion.

The first step is to recognize the inner conflict, not the external factors. The perfect self is shaped by childhood experiences. It may be the expectations of parents or self-expectations. They want us to be flawless.

If we can't accept failure, we'll feel pain.

The second step is to accept the imperfect self. The perfect self is blaming the child inside of us who has not grown up. We blame ourselves for being imperfect and vulnerable. We feel ugly and hide it. We feel others see our mistakes and feel conflict.

The third step is integration, which is the end of mental depletion. The perfect self tries every day to eliminate the vulnerable self, but it never succeeds because the vulnerable self is also part of us.

We should let our vulnerable self show itself to others and let our perfect self encourage us to make progress. When we truly get out of mental depletion, our perfect self and vulnerable self will become friends.

Any method is based on willingness to change and action. Otherwise, it's not a method.

I hope this helps. Bless you.

Hello!

It's hard to be misunderstood and have so many emotions suppressed while trying to change the situation.

I see emotions and the mind differently.

You're called a "child" because people think you're willful and impulsive. But you're not. That's an emotional outburst.

I don't think emotional stability has to do with other people. They can make us happy or unhappy. So there is at least one reason why the reactions of the people around you make you emotionally unstable.

Our emotions are often related to motivation and how we deal with things. I also pay attention to what others say about you being childish.

You say your strengths are now weaknesses.

Sensitivity can make us happy or unhappy. You don't have to feel guilty about the pain it causes.

I understand your pain and want to help.

Let's talk about what's bothering you at work.

I can see that work has caused you a lot of suffering. Let's think about this.

1. I'm sensitive and not good with people who don't have good empathy skills. I'm also not good with busy jobs where I have to focus on other things and neglect my own work.

Should you change jobs?

2. Is there also work-related pressure that restricts you and makes you feel unfree? Can we distinguish between what we have to do at work and what they demand of you?

3. You may need time alone to recharge. Sensitive people need alone time.

4. Don't believe everything you think. Sometimes what happens to us is because of things around us. We can improve ourselves and think about ourselves, but that doesn't mean that everything that happens to us is because of us.

It's like an invisible force.

5. Not achieving a goal is part of the process. We will encounter problems. If you set a goal that you cannot achieve, you can ask specific questions to describe what difficulties you have encountered. Many things in life are important, and a lot of effort is required to accomplish them.

Not achieving a goal is not bragging. It just shows you need help.

I hope this helps.

I'm Guda.

I love you, world.

Hello, question asker. I'm Evan.

First, congratulations on getting out of ten years of depression. It has taken a long time to fight the disease, and now you have to start over. It is not easy to stabilize your emotions and establish new perceptions. Now you have to restart your work and life, which is a very happy thing.

Depression made the questioner feel empty and detached. Now they don't want to dwell on negative emotions. They want to move forward and achieve their goals.

Pat the questioner on the shoulder to give them strength. We all have to deal with negative emotions.

To escape pain, look at your heart. Face your needs to face negative emotions.

I can only give brief advice since the question was asked on a platform.

Know yourself again.

To get rid of pain and negative emotions, you may want to take a new look at who you are, what your qualities are, and what you want. Write down your qualities and strengths on a piece of paper.

I can observe others.

I'm good at summarizing.

I will explore myself.

I am patient. If I recognize something, I will focus on it.

I can sing.

I like reading.

You may have many strengths and qualities. Take your time and write them down when you remember them.

List your achievements.

Even if the questioner has been depressed for ten years, they still have achievements to list, no matter how small.

These achievements help the questioner understand themselves better.

Depression for 10 years, but came out strong.

He learned to ride a bike without help.

Listing achievements helps the questioner recognize their strengths.

Love and respect others.

If you care for yourself, you can also care for and respect others. When you bring happiness to others, you will also feel happy. The kindness you show to others will be returned to you.

The questioner began to feel his own value from these smiles. However, you can't expect equal returns for your kindness.

Share your love with others. Share knowledge or donate money to people in need or poor children.

Alipay and other volunteer programs help us do good in our lives. These small actions can make us feel the happiness and gratitude of others.

Forget the past.

The questioner needs a fresh start. You can't live in the past.

Many people have had bad experiences. We have to live in the present.

Buddha said, "You can't get the past or the future." Don't dwell on the past or worry about the future. Accept your feelings, but move on.

Forgive those who have wronged you, forgive yourself for your mistakes, and forgive yourself. What happened in the past was not your fault, and you did not choose to become depressed.

Get active.

Recovering from depression takes time. During this period, the questioner may have trouble remembering things and concentrating. Negative emotions are likely to arise.

To fight negative emotions, get active. To cheer yourself up, go outside and get some fresh air and sunshine.

It will be hard at first, but you will feel better after a while. You will feel more energized and your mood will improve.

Exercise gets blood moving and oxygen to the brain, making you feel better. It also relaxes your nerves. When you exercise, your brain makes a happy chemical, which makes you feel good.

Tell us your worries.

If you need help, you can get it from yourself or from friends. But you have to be willing to ask for help from others.

You need to find someone you can talk to. You also need to overcome your shyness. The questioner already has a counselor. If the counselor doesn't help, the questioner can talk to other people. They will help.

Be yourself.

Do more of the things you like. Find meaning in your life by doing things you enjoy. Accept your state after recovery from depression. When you are in a low mood, do something to please yourself.

Eat sweets to make yourself happy. They make you feel good. It's important to be happy without hurting others.

Don't let negativity take over.

After recovery, the original poster still has a long way to go. Be true to yourself and love yourself. Believe in yourself and you will be able to embrace a new future. Treat your current self as your own child and love him with all your heart. I believe that the original poster will be able to have a brand new life.

I hope my answer helps. I also hope the questioner can return to a normal life as soon as possible.

Emotional instability can make it tough to evaluate yourself and interact with others. I'm working on managing my emotions and mental internal friction. I hope that sharing my experience can help you think about how to handle this problem:

1. When emotions strike, treat them as honored guests, not as uninvited guests.

Emotions are an important part of being alive. They help us to spot danger, protect our rights and interests, and attract attention when we lose something or someone important.

On the other hand, another thing about emotions is that the more you try to ignore them, the more they'll come back to haunt you. So, if you want to beat this problem, you've got to accept that they're there.

When we start paying attention to the signals behind these emotions that make us feel uncomfortable, we'll have a better chance of talking to them on equal terms, rather than being endlessly tortured by them.

Second, take small steps quickly and you can achieve the goal from start to finish, breaking it down into parts as you go.

Depression has kept me from enjoying a lot of good times. When I started over, I always hoped to catch up or even get ahead.

This self-expectation is also pretty normal.

There are objective laws that govern the achievement of goals, and there's some truth to the saying that haste makes waste. I hope you can achieve your goals and don't let your thoughts replace your actions. The first step you can take is to forgive yourself.

Break down the goal of Hongda into one destination at a time. You can reach each destination by taking a small step or two. As you achieve one goal after another, you'll gain confidence and achieve your dreams.

3. Remember what it's like to be calm, so you can tap into that when you're feeling stressed.

We often have a habit of responding to external things in a certain way. One way to avoid being overwhelmed by our primitive reactions is to make it a habit to be in a relatively good state of mind, instead of being in an emotionally unstable state.

This process isn't easy, but it's also not impossible. When you find yourself in a state of peace, use your sensitivity to help your body feel more at ease and aware of this state.

If you remember this feeling when your emotions become unstable, there's a chance you can find your way back to peace in the chaos. Emotions aren't originally experienced by the brain, so the body is our most loyal partner at this time.

I hope this sharing is inspiring for you.

I'm a psychotherapist, not a human nature expert. I just care about the human heart. Thanks.

Hello! I'm Warm-hearted Girl 1219, and I'm happy to answer your question about Yi Xinli.

I read your description and learned you had depression but recovered. I'm happy for you! I hope you stay positive.

Your depression has left you with emotional and unstable after-effects. I understand your pain, and I hope you will get better and be happy again!

I have four suggestions for you:

1. Control your emotions.

After we graduate, we become members of society. To survive, we must know how to get along with others.

When you have a conflict, use your mind to control your emotions.

If you can't control your emotions, it will cause trouble at work, home and with others.

2. Go out and look at the bright side.

When you're troubled, go outside and look at the beautiful scenery.

There are good things in the world too.

☀️We take photos of beautiful things. Look at the good side of things, make the most of your travels, and forget about your worries.

3. Talk with your family and friends. Open up. Come out of your shell.

When you have worries, talk to your family and friends.

Talking about your worries makes them go away. Get advice from friends and family to solve problems. You'll be happy.

Socialize, help each other, and get rid of your worries together!

4. Listen to your heart.

You care too much about what others think. This will make you unhappy. You hold too many things inside. This will make you sick.

If you have depression, love yourself. Don't care what others say. Come out of the shadows and embrace a beautiful life!

Be brave, be yourself, and decide your own life.

I hope this helps.

Best of luck!

I love you, world.

Hello, I'm Meng Xiaoxiao, a student at YI Psychological Consulting. I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm here to support you.

Depression is like a shadow that exhausts us, but it's not your fault. Your heart is sick, just like how we all get the flu.

It's not your fault if you don't know how to love yourself. Maybe you grew up without love, or maybe you had a traumatic experience. These things are related to you, but they weren't caused by you. Please forgive and understand yourself.

Don't be too hard on yourself. This is the first step to loving yourself.

Just like charging your phone, getting stronger takes time. Be patient, and I'll be here for you. You're not alone.

You're determined and believe in seeking change. I admire your strength and am sure you'll persevere. Believe in yourself and don't give up.

When you feel depressed, don't suppress your emotions. Talk to a good friend or find a therapist or psychologist on a platform. They can help.

I hope my words help. Stay strong. Best wishes. I love you.

My little friend!

Hello!

Depressive moods are a very common emotional experience in life. They mainly manifest as significant and lasting emotional depression and pessimism, but there are ways to overcome them!

You may lose interest in everything, feel meaningless, and have no fun. But don't worry! There are plenty of ways to get your mojo back.

You may become slow to act, avoid social contact, and lead a lazy life. Sleep, appetite, and the body as a whole may be affected, and in severe cases, negative behaviors such as self-harm or suicide may accompany the depression. But don't worry! There are ways to combat these effects and live a happy, healthy life.

This is how psychology explains depression: the aggression is directed at oneself, not at others. In other words, the power of anger and hostility is not directed outward, but inward. This is a fascinating insight!

Perhaps because they are worried that expressing aggression will get them into trouble, they can only attack themselves. Therefore, depressed people often blame themselves, feel guilty, and think that they are worthless and a burden to their families. They believe that they are solely responsible for the unhappiness of others and the difficulties in their lives. But there is hope!

Over time, if you are always dissatisfied with yourself, you will push yourself to the brink of collapse, overwhelmed by depression, and unable to climb back up again. But don't worry! There is a way out.

You say you've been depressed for 10 years. I think your body is sending you some messages and appeals through depression. It's prompting you to rest your body, vent your emotions, and love your soul! It's like an indicator light, telling you to be kind to yourself and know that you have the right to be angry at other people!

Wishing you the very best!

Firstly, I would like to commend the original poster for their efforts. It is not an easy task to overcome such a personality issue. I am optimistic that your future will improve. I have provided some thoughts and suggestions which I hope will be of benefit to you.

Firstly, it is important not to deny one's character traits. It seems likely that the root of your current suffering is the constant self-denial that has deepened your suffering. This is also related to our traditional understanding of education, which would consider these behaviours to be wrong. Therefore, it is advisable to learn to accept all the emotional traits you possess.

Secondly, it is important to recognise that every personality trait has both advantages and disadvantages. Rather than denying these traits, it is essential to learn how to utilise our strengths and avoid our weaknesses. It is crucial to continually stimulate our strengths and avoid our weaknesses. It is possible to admire individuals who are full of energy and have strong initiative, however, if this personality trait develops in an inappropriate manner, it can result in arrogance, recklessness and other negative outcomes.

Third, what are the strengths of individuals who are highly sensitive? The following are my views on this topic, which I present for your consideration:

1. Individuals with high emotional intelligence are particularly prone to empathize with others.

The importance of empathy cannot be overstated.

Due to their sensitivity, individuals are more inclined to engage in introspection and listen to their inner voice. Similarly, they are better able to enter the inner world of others and establish connections. These abilities are highly sought after by many individuals.

2. Sensitive individuals are more likely to facilitate team harmony. Their ability to read other people's emotions and their general aversion to conflict make them well-suited for this role.

It is evident that the aforementioned statements will have an impact on one's life, as evidenced by the examples of emotional instability and internal friction. These are indeed objective phenomena. Concurrently, it is important to recognize that all individuals possess the capacity to overcome these challenges.

The simplest method is to practice deep breathing. For those unacquainted with the tenets of psychology, emotions may manifest in two distinct ways. For instance, if an individual is subjected to criticism, whether in the form of accusation, abuse, or mere condemnation, the outward response may manifest as a tendency to retaliate or even engage in physical altercation. Conversely, the inward response may manifest as a tendency to suppress or internalize the emotion, which can subsequently lead to feelings of resentment and sadness. Individuals with heightened sensitivities are more likely to exhibit the latter tendency.

The third method is now to be presented. When negative emotions arise, it is advised to allow them to dissipate naturally. This can be achieved by touching the abdomen and breathing deeply, slowly, and rhythmically. If the environment permits, closing the eyes can facilitate a sense of comfort in the body and mind.

2. It should be noted that this method is predicated on the assumption that the negative emotions in question are within the subject's tolerance range. To illustrate, the aforementioned example may be perceived as somewhat extreme. In the event that the other party employs a particularly harsh reprimand, it may be more beneficial to learn to respond in a similarly assertive manner.

3. It is essential to determine what is feasible within one's financial and temporal constraints. When an individual experiences a lack of emotional fortitude, akin to a child's vulnerability to negative emotions, it is crucial to refrain from resisting, accept the situation, and allow the emotions to flow through the body. Subsequently, deep breathing can be employed to gradually dissipate the emotions.

4. This method requires persistent practice. It is important to note that dramatic results should not be expected after just a couple of sessions. Just like going to the gym, it takes months or even a year or two of planned training before one can discern that they are becoming stronger. As one's emotional muscles gain strength, they will find themselves becoming more composed and able to take on greater challenges, thereby bringing out the strengths of their sensitive personality.

5. This deep breathing method is the most cost-effective and can be used at any time. Should more rapid and effective improvement be desired, professional counseling may be sought, whereby regular communication and the provision of professional solutions will be facilitated.

As a person with sensitive traits myself, I hope that my experiences, insights, and advice can be of benefit to you. I look forward to working with you.

Hello, dear questioner!

Your words have touched my heart. I admire your courage in facing the challenges of life's emotions. You're not alone, my friend. I'm here for you.

I'd like to suggest a book that I think you'll really enjoy. It's called "Mr. Toad Goes to the Psychiatrist." It's about Mr. Toad, who is vulnerable and confused like a child in the guise of an adult, going to the psychiatrist.

The author has come up with three helpful emotional states in the book to help Mr. Toad, and of course, every reader, understand themselves from a professional perspective. The three states are: child self-state, parent self-state, and adult self-state.

If you want to make a change, it's important to remember that you've grown up and become an adult who can take responsibility for yourself. You don't have to let anyone force you to choose your own life.

When you learn to say no and express your true emotions, it means you've said goodbye to the "child ego state."

The "parental self-state" comes from the words and deeds of parents when their children were young and the way they treated their children. People in the "parental self-state" are constantly educating and criticizing others, whether it is other people or themselves.

When we're our own worst critics, we can end up feeling like we don't have any value as a person. It's so important to remember that we're all worthy of love and acceptance, just as we are.

As the book says, "There is no criticism more intense than self-criticism, and no judge more severe than ourselves."

It's so important for us to try to stop ourselves from falling back into the "parental self-state" when we're feeling stressed. We need to be aware of how this state can affect us, think about our emotions and behaviours, and then try to replace them with more positive ones. It's also good to know what good behaviour patterns we should be aiming for, and then slowly start to build new habits.

The last type is the "adult self-state," which is all about being able to act in a rational way, rather than letting your past experiences and childhood emotions get in the way. You're able to stand in the present moment, think about your next move, and listen to what others think of you, giving the appearance of maturity.

We all have a childlike state of dependence and a critical, accusatory parental state. The good news is that we can move beyond these two states and develop our own adult state. This allows us to understand and change ourselves rationally and objectively, and learn to heal ourselves.

Jordan Peterson suggests in The 12 Laws of Life that the most important thing you can do is take responsibility for your own life.

And in this book, the heron also tells Mr. Toad something really important: "If you take responsibility for yourself, you will know that you have the power to change your environment and yourself."

So, instead of waiting for a cure, why not learn to heal yourself?

I really hope this book can help you.

Sending you lots of love, blessings, and hugs! ???

I appreciate you asking this question and I am confident it will be helpful and supportive to you.

When you can objectively analyze your emotions and remain calm when you are stable, you can calmly handle various things. When you are in a low mood, you are already beyond the confusion that many people face. In real life, many people are not talking, but rather venting their emotions, just like a trash can. You can see your strengths and weaknesses, and seeing is healing.

Emotions are crucial in life and how we feel. When emotions are unstable, many decisions may be invalid and rash. However, our inner emotions may still be due to our parents. The inner instability of our parents transmits this anxiety to us. Every child obeys their parents. Behind this is an anxious, controlling mother, learning to separate from her parents.

First, return the emotions that belong to the parents to the parents because this is her life and it can be complete. These emotions have a great impact on our lives and work, so we must constantly differentiate and peel them away from our mother's control. You can also see the truth behind your mother's emotions, perceive her love for you, and learn ways to deal with emotions.

Yell in an open space, let out cathartic emotions, or speak loudly and incoherently to calm your emotions. Box at home to release your emotions. Hypnotic meditation will help you quickly get out of your emotions. People who can control their emotions are in control of their lives.

We understand emotions, release emotions, see emotions, and do not resist. Just like friends, emotions will slowly disappear over time.

I know you will get better and better.

Hello. I can see how anxiety/work-income-is-lower-than-promised-i-have-been-anxious-recently-and-there-is-serious-internal-conflict-how-can-i-adjust-25188.html" target="_blank">conflicted you are, how anxious it makes you, how low your mood is, and how depression is affecting you. It's tough to eliminate this on your own, and it's easy to lose sight of what you're doing when you're trying to get rid of it. While you're trying to eliminate it on the conscious level, the subconscious mind has entered a fixed pattern.

First of all, I hope you'll treat your experience professionally. Get help at the hospital, evaluate your condition, get a clear diagnosis, and follow the doctor's advice to receive treatment, such as medication, psychotherapy, and self-healing methods.

Secondly, you should keep trying to find a solution through self-healing. However, we all have limitations, so I hope you will seek help from a professional psychotherapist to understand the unconscious thoughts and behaviors behind the symptoms. There are many methods of psychotherapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy and focused empathy therapy. Long-term therapies, such as psychoanalytic dynamic therapy, are needed to truly understand yourself.

You've described the symptoms, but not the relationship with your parents. This is also a kind of description. Find the resources around you and gain the strength to support yourself from within. It can be your parents, or it can be your close friends!

I can see you're motivated to break through this bottleneck, but you just don't have enough strength. This is the best time for you to make a change. Through a doctor's assessment, you can gain a clearer understanding of your symptoms. Coupled with psychotherapy, you can go deep inside your world to soothe your inner self, which has been ignored and unable to express its negative emotions. Expressing yourself here is your strength. Don't give up on yourself. The world and I love you, and you must love yourself even more. Come on!

Good day, my name is Ting.

When the notion of transformation arises, it is already in progress; the key is to recognize the rate at which it is occurring. It is essential to maintain faith and demonstrate courage. It is prudent to proceed at a measured pace. It is not advisable to hasten the process unnecessarily. In my opinion, taking the time to proceed with caution is the optimal approach.

I previously experienced similar sentiments with some regularity, but I have observed a reduction in the frequency of such occurrences. I am inclined to share my experience with you.

It is important to recognize that we all have a tendency to be influenced by others, particularly those who are similar to us. When we are influenced, our emotions become immersed in the influence, resulting in a state where negative emotions and thoughts overwhelm our ability to think deeply or judge the veracity of the other person's statements.

In such instances, it is advisable to take a moment to reflect and distinguish between the individual in question and the self-critical aspect. By doing so, it is possible to achieve a state of emotional equilibrium.

Another method for achieving this is to refrain from adopting the same line of thinking as the other person. By considering their rationale more closely, one can gain insight into their motives and interests.

One might inquire as to whether it would be preferable.

Should the opportunity arise, I would be pleased to engage in further discussion with you.

I am receptive to your input and open to learning and growing alongside you.

Good day, Dear Student,

Upon seeing your question, I was prompted to consider what Li Songwei might have to say on the matter.

I suggest you read Li Songwei's book, "5% Change," which I believe will be of benefit to you.

I am reminded of Li Songwei because he does not engage in preaching.

I can see your ability to reflect, and it is likely that this ability has contributed to your recovery from a decade-long depression. I believe that your ability to reflect has also enabled you to identify and maintain focus on the aspects of your emotional state that require attention, namely your unstable emotions and tendency to engage in self-attack.

This may be a possibility.

Please advise if there is a specific term for this phenomenon.

For example, I recognize that I am emotionally unstable, which causes me to experience feelings of sadness and anxiety. I am curious as to why I am unable to achieve emotional stability.

For instance, when I recognize that I am engaged in self-attack, I experience feelings of sadness and anger. I am seeking to understand why I am unable to adopt a self-affirming mindset and why I resort to self-attack.

It appears that I am experiencing a decline in my situation.

How might this vicious cycle be broken? (For the sake of argument, let us assume that such a cycle exists.)

We would like to introduce a concept called "paradox."

The paradox is that the more one attempts to avoid a particular situation or outcome, the more likely it is to persist.

For example, if the objective is to avoid feeling emotionally unstable, the result will be the opposite.

The more frustrated you become and the more you attempt to eliminate it, the more tenacious it will be.

Therefore, we must adopt a contrasting approach: acceptance.

Since it is currently unstable, let's make it more so. I will observe and see what further actions you take. Yes, personify the unstable emotions, act like a loser, and lie down.

You are encouraged to wreak havoc, while I will lie down and refrain from resistance. This will allow you to see what you can do to me.

If you wish to attack yourself, I will observe and determine the duration of your effort. I will observe your approach. Attack, if you will. I will assume a defensive posture and allow you to proceed.

From an emotional standpoint, I am disarmed and surrendering. I encourage you to try this approach.

There is a possibility that it will be effective, but there is also a possibility that it will not.

You have already attempted a number of potential solutions, so it would be prudent to proceed with this one as well.

Hello, friend. I'll answer your question.

If you say you're calm, everything seems normal. So, how can you be calm? Or how long does it take to be calm after experiencing something?

If you think about how you felt before and after, you should be able to identify some patterns. In my experience, one way to deal with depression is to do aerobic exercise, such as running. When you pant heavily, the depressed air in your heart will also be exhaled along with it. This is the benefit of exercise.

As you mentioned, you're going through a lot emotionally, but you're aware of it, which is a good thing. You love yourself and care about what others think of you. So, you should often ask yourself, does this emotionality make others like you? It's tough to change personality traits, but it's not impossible. Older people are often labeled as mature, and this is true. Time and experience can change a person's character.

You have to tell yourself firmly from the bottom of your heart that you want to change, and it will only work. Just as you tend to remember things that you care about very well, things that you are indifferent to are easily forgotten.

If you're unable to make the necessary changes on your own, it might be helpful to find someone to supervise you or a practical partner to help guide the process.

I hope this is helpful.

Hello. I give you a 360-degree hug.

From your question, it is evident that you are no longer depressed, but your emotional state is more pronounced.

If you want to know how to deal with these problems, you will write more. Each one is worth discussing. I can't say much in this Q&A format, but I'll share some of my thoughts in the hope that they will be helpful.

First, exercise.

Do some exercise, like yoga or running. Let your mind empty while you do it, without thinking about other things. Focus on your breathing and the feelings in your body.

Boxing is a great way to vent aggression.

Choose an exercise that suits you and the intensity. Exercise is the way to connect more deeply with your body. We often look outside ourselves for answers, ignoring our hearts and bodies. Take some time to care for your body. Feel the vitality of your body through the sweating, accelerated heartbeat and breathing, and even soreness brought on by exercise.

Second, you need to write.

Writing is an effective way to express our inner feelings, relieve negative emotions, and improve our physical and mental health.

If you feel bad, write. Don't worry about whether you write well or not, or whether your writing is good or not. The purpose of writing is to have a dialogue with your inner self, not to show it to others.

Read these books: Writing to Heal: Use Writing to Drive Away Anxiety, Procrastination, and Bad Moods, The Healing Power of Writing, and Writing My Heart: How Ordinary People Express Themselves Through Writing.

If you don't know what to write about, read the book Writing to Heal. It has 100 writing tips. Write one topic a day for 100 days.

Talk to a counselor.

I am a counselor who is both Buddhist and pessimistic, but I also know how to be positive and motivated. The world is a wonderful place, and I love it.

Hello, I'm grateful for the opportunity to share my views with you.

From your writing, I can sense that you seem to be under a lot of pressure. Not all of this pressure comes from outside; a considerable part of it is self-imposed. You seem to be in a very "tight" state. Perhaps it would be helpful to take a deep breath and relax.

"I'm very attuned to sounds, smells, and other sensory experiences."

When we describe someone as being extremely sensitive to their surroundings, we often say that they are like "a startled bird." This sensitivity can indicate a lack of security within oneself, leading to feelings of unease, worry, or even fear about one's surroundings. Could this underlying meaning be that the individual has noticed they are under observation and feels they are still under control?

"I tend to be influenced by the words of others, both positive and negative. I feel that I could benefit from developing a stronger inner core."

It could be said that a lack of confidence in one's own beliefs and values is often a sign of inner weakness. If I were to tell you that one plus one equals two, you might challenge me on this, and even if I were to repeat it a thousand times, it might not shake your firm belief. However, if I were to say that you are a very selfish person, you may not believe it at first, but if I were to keep saying it every day, you might start to waver. If I were to encourage the people around you to say with me that you are selfish, you might start to doubt yourself.

Perhaps the most significant distinction between the two is that the former is grounded in certainty and possesses objective measurement standards, whereas the latter is more abstract and vague, lacking such objective benchmarks. This naturally leads to the question: What is selfishness?

Could you please clarify what the standards of selfishness are? I'm also curious about what is not selfish.

It is worth noting that these things, which cannot be objectively described and lack objective standards, are all part of value choices. It is also important to recognise that if our values are not firm enough, we may be influenced by others on similar issues.

It is not uncommon for values to be subject to change and uncertainty during the process of formation. To ensure their consolidation, it is often helpful to seek the guidance and support of an "authority figure," such as a parent, teacher, or other significant individual. Without this guidance, even if one has developed their own values, they may remain vulnerable to external influences.

"I can also become overly invested in a situation, which can sometimes result in a lack of perspective and a sense of chaos. When I'm emotionally unstable, I tend to act in ways that are reminiscent of a child's behavior."

In combination with the self-attack described by the questioner above, this state could be seen as a kind of "regression."

It might be helpful to think about regression and self-attack as two forms of psychological defense mechanisms. Regression could be seen as a way of giving up the more mature coping methods we have learned, such as facing, understanding, accepting and taking responsibility, when we are under too much pressure or suffer from setbacks and failures that are difficult to face and bear. Regression could involve adopting coping methods from earlier stages of life, even childhood, such as avoidance, denial and isolation, or making oneself appear more incompetent, pitiful, cute and innocent, in order to protect oneself.

It seems that identifying with external attacks may potentially lead to a tendency to engage in self-attack.

"When I'm calm, I can accept it and understand it. I'm aware that I'm emotionally unstable and prone to internal conflict. I'm committed to working through this challenge and strengthening my resolve."

This appears to suggest that the previous regression and self-attack may be a kind of stress response, which is characterized by a lack of control.

"I try to persevere with the goals I set for myself, but I often find myself talking a big game, which makes me feel a bit bad. I think a lot, but I don't always act on my thoughts."

If you pursue this goal as an outcome, it may result in a situation where you are unable to enjoy the process of pursuing it. Additionally, the lack of positive feedback may contribute to a sense of monotony. The desire to do less may also stem from this lack of positive feedback. We often describe something as going well when it provides positive feedback during the completion process. This positive reinforcement can serve as a motivating factor in continuing a task. Interpersonal relationships are an important source of positive feedback, and it seems that addressing these issues may ultimately require a focus on interpersonal relationships.

"How might we approach emotional instability, emotionalism, and mental attrition, and the importance of self-love?"

Perhaps we could finally address this question. When it comes to emotional instability, we often think of children first, because children have a lower level of cognition and less life experience. Many unexpected things are new and unprecedented to children, and in this case, it is understandable that their emotions will fluctuate greatly and be unstable. Adults, on the other hand, have experienced many things and have a higher tolerance, so their emotions will naturally be relatively stable.

However, it is possible that being highly sensitive may result in a lack of tolerance and emotional fluctuations. If you are interested in making changes in this area, you might consider exploring the option of "desensitization therapy."

One possible way to address mental depletion is to consider ways to increase motivation and concentration. It may be helpful to incorporate regular physical exercise at the same time every day to see if this alleviates the situation.

I would like to suggest that loving yourself is an instinct that you are born with, rather than something you have to learn. However, as we grow and develop, this instinct may be temporarily suppressed as we focus our attention on others and love them. This is a choice we make to adapt to the world around us. However, if the wrong method is used or the right measure is not grasped, it can result in a situation where we pay more attention to and love others than ourselves.

The formation of cognition is a long-term process, and while it is not possible to correct the irrational parts of it overnight, a little by little process of combing through, dismantling, and reshaping can be very effective. If you feel it would be helpful, you can try psychological counseling and let a counselor accompany you through the process.

I am a counselor, Xiaodong. I hope you find happiness in your life.

It is likely that any changes you make will eventually be reflected in a change of thinking. This could be presented as a change in your attitude towards the world. It is possible that the values you firmly believe in, as well as your vision and way of thinking about problems, may change, which could result in a change of behaviour and the achievement of the results you desire.

Secondly, it should be noted that genuine change often necessitates a lengthy and intricate process. Both deconstruction and reconstruction often require significant effort and dedication.

It is worth noting that attempting to change oneself in a single step may prove challenging. The process typically involves navigating through five distinct stages:

Firstly, there is a sense of imbalance in the status quo.

Something may have gone awry at work, in your relationships, your studies, your mental state, and so on. You may feel a bit adrift, searching for a new equilibrium. During such times, it can be challenging to actively pursue change, as you may be trying to disrupt your current balance and venture beyond your comfort zone.

It is therefore understandable that for those who are reluctant to change, it can be challenging.

Secondly, we may also experience stimulation from external factors.

External factors may include instances where you perceive your own inadequacies, observe admirable qualities in others, or encounter a lesson, book, or video that resonates with you and prompts reflection. These experiences have the potential to disrupt the balance of your system, influence your original value system, and prompt a process of deconstruction.

It is only when something touches our innermost being that it moves from consciousness to the subconscious.

Thirdly, we come to the stage of chaos.

When external factors disrupt habitual thinking, there may be a period of internal rejection, followed by internalization. It may be helpful to consider that when methods that were previously relied upon, such as arguing, cold war, inferiority, pleasing, and avoiding, no longer work and cannot solve problems,

This is a challenging period of upheaval and uncertainty.

If I might suggest, the fourth stage is integration.

After going through a complex psychological struggle, you may find that you begin to integrate. By processing old experiences and new ways of thinking, you may become your own new value system.

It is important to note that not all integration is successful. There may be instances where you may agree with it at the conscious level, but not at the subconscious level, and it has not been fully internalized. The integration stage is about reconstructing your own value system, and it requires frequent introspection and mental suggestion.

If I might make one more suggestion, it would be to practice as much as possible.

It would be beneficial to nourish this integrated system, and through constant practice and application, allow it to gradually adapt and grow in social life until it reaches the same size as your original experience system. This will complete its rebirth and result in a new value system.

If I might humbly offer my perspective, I believe that change is a spiraling upward process. Given that progress under new stimuli may temporarily be ten steps forward, and given that chaos and integration regress nine steps, it seems that we are often content with one step forward.

If I might offer a suggestion, it would be:

One possible approach could be to try to stimulate the internal drive.

2. Perhaps we could consider reducing the intensity of the action?

3. It would be beneficial to establish positive feedback.

Dear host, I want to give you a big hug after reading your description. You have great self-awareness!

Reflect on your shortcomings and decide to change for the better! Believe in yourself and you will overcome your challenges.

I also had a severe outbreak in 2013 and 2014. At that time, I felt that there would be no light in my life. However, I overcame it myself with perseverance and faith.

I am still studying psychology to help others.

I'm going to share my views and I'm confident they'll be helpful to you.

1. If you are emotionally unstable, you must start with both the physical and psychological aspects.

Go for a run, go for a walk outdoors, spend as much time as possible in the fresh air, and exercise as much as you can. Exhaust yourself, come home, and sleep. You will notice that your emotions are becoming more and more stable.

Once your emotions have stabilized, your mental energy will be sufficient, and you will be less prone to internal depletion.

Forget about everything else for now. Just start with the first step you can manage. You'll see a difference in a week.

And you have to keep it up.

Once you've stabilized your emotions, we'll discuss the negative emotions you're currently experiencing. Emotions are just a sign, a protective mechanism for you. Don't concern yourself with whether emotions are good or bad.

If you're depressed, you know you need to rest and adjust your inner self. You also need an outlet to vent.

Seeing the needs behind your emotions and knowing how to act on them is subliminal awareness, which is healing in itself.

You will be able to do it after a period of time because your awareness is so good.

You need to consciously give yourself ways to vent your emotions from now on. Go sing, go for a run, take a bath, write it out—do whatever you need to do.

An additional channel is an additional way to release emotions. It's not helpless when it's right in front of you.

2. Tell me more about your vicious cycle. I guarantee that if you do this, the cycle will break and you won't fall into it. So don't dwell on this point.

3. I believe that sharing too many methods at once is not beneficial for you. It will only burden your mind.

I need to set goals and figure out what to do. This is an unnecessary restriction.

Stop thinking so much. Empty your mind and relax.

Forget about it.

Start exercising now. If you have too many thoughts, go for a walk.

Don't let your thoughts ruminate endlessly. Jump out!

Just exercise! You will find that you can do more and more, and everything will develop in a positive direction.

4. One last tip: Focus on your breathing. It's as simple as that.

When you feel like you can't stop thinking, bring your attention back to your breathing. This will bring you back to the present moment. You will feel very comfortable and relaxed.

Start running. Don't think about anything, just do it. I look forward to your feedback after exercising.

Other things, such as what you call childish thinking, will improve as your heart fills with strength and all your perceptions will improve. You will only get better and better as long as you are constantly growing!

Come on, host! I know you can do it!

Hello!

I'm Kelly.

Your question made me think about my own emotional instability. I came to the first course at Yixin to learn to manage my emotions and followed teacher Li Huan Sheng for nearly 20 days.

Are emotional problems a side effect of depression?

I noticed a few things in the course that I want to share with you.

1. How did I make myself emotionally unstable?

My family was unpredictable. From an early age, I watched my mother's moods.

I was very sensitive and knew what was going to happen next from my mother's face. I watched it every day, which made me good at reading people.

We should have focused on ourselves, but a child without security is also affected by unstable parents.

No one told us when we were learning, but later I found some comfort in reading. Many people mentioned this.

For example, how stable the parents are, how the child grows, and how sensitive the child is in families where the parents scold and beat them.

Emotional problems are complex. Knowing these factors helps us see ourselves.

2: You mentioned not loving yourself, repressing emotions, and self-attack. I have also experienced these things.

How does depression happen?

Ancient Greek medical texts describe depression.

Research on mental illness began in the late 19th century. Carl Gustav Jung published "The Neurotic Personality of Our Time," which mentioned cultural and biological factors. Some mental illness may be genetic, while other factors may come from the environment and culture.

My mother was anxious, and I was nervous around her. Later, I learned that she had never let us go out because she was insecure and thought control was the only way to feel safe.

My mother's anxiety and depression will affect us sisters. We will also be affected by our home education.

Like Jung, he studied his family and his mother's mental problems because of his own mental illness. He became an outstanding psychologist.

What was once thought to be demonic possession is also a thing in our culture.

What did we use before psychology?

Scientists have also studied the brain and mental activity.

Depression is now a medical research topic.

The emotional system is complex. Know that you don't love yourself to love yourself.

Ways to love yourself:

1: Release your emotions. Talk to a counselor. Write about your emotions and express them to relieve stress.

You should let off steam before making up for it.

I've been learning and writing about Yixinli since February.

2: Find the problem, return things, and don't be too hard on yourself.

Set boundaries, differentiate yourself, and untie yourself.

Let go of other people's burdens.

Tell the difference between his and mine, between parents' and children's, between work and play.

3: Be imperfect. I used to be a perfectionist, trying to be better, afraid of other people's opinions.

I realized other people are busy and don't have time for me.

4: Find your dream and stick to it. You might not see results right away, but they will come.

You will appreciate your own excellence, persevere, and become the person you like. Doing the things we like can make us happy.

Read more to grow.

I am sensitive to sounds, smells, and other things around me. I am easily influenced by other people's words.

You said you've been depressed for ten years. You must have thought a lot. Even though you were sad, it was meaningful. When I was depressed, I saw the world as grey and flowers as ugly. It's just like in the movie "Mr. Toad Goes to Therapy."

He found meaning in life after counseling.

We can focus on what we love. Many artists are sensitive. Find your passion. Pick up a paintbrush, paint, or write about your feelings.

Accept and feel, without judging.

Many people are not sensitive. This is a "wealth" you possess.

Depression gave me this gift.

If you're not determined, you'll become confused. But if you are, you'll persevere.

You know yourself. People become determined after going through uncertainty and confusion.

Start with small things.

Reading is a good example of something everyone can do. Read two books a month for half an hour each day. You can complete the plan by writing book notes in the WeChat Moments every day.

If you lack self-discipline, join a book club and do some tasks to change yourself.

Sometimes we can't do everything by ourselves. But we can study with others and learn together. You can also take some courses that interest you and join a group.

Write down your strengths and put them where you can see them.

Show your strengths so everyone can see.

Think before you speak. Write it down.

I'm going to study and work out every day.

This will help you be more disciplined.

You said you would do it. After reading it all in a month, give yourself a summary and continue the next month.

You can choose your favorite.

If you need help, talk to a counselor.

Teachers will also give you advice. Pick one or two ideas to try.

Believe in yourself.

You can ask questions and we can learn together.

Here's some info on depression causes:

1. Blood sugar imbalance and obesity

2. Long-term stress

3. Environment

4. Genes

5. Loneliness, trauma, and social factors

6. Sedentary lifestyle

7. Not getting enough sleep and using too much light.

8. Bad diet

Click "Find a coach" to continue communicating. I will communicate with you one-on-one.