How do you start a relationship or woo a girl if you don't know how to take the initiative?

Hello, host!

The landlord seems to have an A-type personality.

I understand the original poster's desire to find the ideal partner. If you believe you can find the right person, you will.

Let's look at the host's own conditions.

Age: 25. It's time to think about marriage, but there's no need to rush.

Personality: rational, not proactive, doesn't like to spend a lot of money, ESTJ type.

ESTJ personality traits

ESTJ people are friendly, straightforward, and full of energy. They are capable, organized, realistic, and honest. They make quick decisions and are reliable.

This is probably how all men think. Appearance is only important at first. What's more important is inner beauty. Appearances fade, but the heart doesn't.

We meet someone and look at their appearance, respect their talent, agree on their personality, like their kindness, and finally, their character.

The other two also have similar values.

Life outlook:

This is the most important part of whether two people are attracted to each other. Two people with different ideas are unlikely to be attracted to each other. We are attracted to people who have similar ideas to us.

Values and spending habits:

I don't know how to have fun and I can't spend much. When I see pretty girls spending a lot, I feel inferior. It's not that I'm poor, I just don't spend much.

They have different experiences and views on consumption. Pretty girls have higher consumption needs, but there's no need to feel inferior. It would be nice to meet someone with similar views.

Worldview:

If you think alike, it can last. If you don't, it won't.

The host likes pretty girls and wants to know what they think, but there are so many!

Don't feel inferior because beautiful girls spend a lot. Find the right one for you.

The host said his family isn't poor. Poverty is about more than money. It's also about self-confidence, love, and a poor heart.

Measuring poverty only in material terms is not enough.

I wish the host could meet the other half of their dreams!

I'm Warm June, and I love you!

Hello!

I'm Lulu, the chubby tiger!

Let's dive into your problems together! ƪ(*σ´∀`)σ(˘⌣˘)ʃ Elegant

Take a look at your description of the situation! First of all, you feel that you are very rational in relationships, which is great!

You like pretty girls, and you're ready to take the initiative! You'll take the first step when the other person hints at it.

You're not sure how to eat, drink, or have fun, but that's okay! You're also not worried about spending more than 30 yuan.

When you see girls who spend a lot, you feel inferior. But you're not poor! You just don't like high spending!

You will also go out with people who know how to have fun. Even if you are treating, it's fine! When you are alone, you don't go to high-end places!

You are very inferior, and that's okay! You are afraid of not being able to find a wife, but there's no need to worry.

You're already 25 years old, and you've never been in a relationship either. But that doesn't mean you can't find a beautiful wife!

Oh, what will your wife be like?

?

Let me tell you my opinion. You are the kind of person who waits for the other person to give you a hint before you take the initiative. I want to say that if you really like her,

Absolutely! You can definitely express your thoughts and your fondness for her. If you like her, then just say so!

I'm sure you're not mistaken!

I can understand if you don't know how to have fun. But I want to ask you:

Go out with people who understand and enjoy themselves! It doesn't matter if you even have to pay.

You said before that you are not used to high spending. That means there's plenty of room for you to splash out when you go out with your wife!

You also mentioned that you are very inferior. I'm really curious to know why you want a beautiful wife if you are inferior and elegant!

You want the girl of your dreams? Of course you do!

Hey, I'm just kidding, but it's all in good fun!

At the beginning, you were head over heels for pretty girls. I'm really curious to know what kind of girl is considered pretty.

Everyone has different opinions and different feelings, which makes the world an exciting place! So, as for the so-called pretty girls, I don't know how you define them, but I'm excited to find out!

ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ Elegant

I really hope you find the right girl for you!

When it comes to the highest spending of 30 yuan, you also said before that it doesn't matter if you're treating. Do you think the other person won't take you out? I sure hope so!

I'd love to talk more about this! In today's society, 30 yuan can't really do much, but I totally get you.

You mentioned that you feel inferior when you see a pretty girl spending a lot of money. I think you have a misunderstanding about inferiority, and I'm excited to help you understand it better!

If the girl pays for herself, then you're definitely not inferior!

You think you can't afford to support her? Think again!

Love is a two-way street! For example, you like her.

She likes you too? Amazing! You were thinking the wrong thing. Understand?

If you're spending a lot of money, it means you're really with her! Of course you want to spend money on her!

That's your wife! I'm sure you'll spend money on her!

So don't think too much about it!

You're 25 years old, and you're ready to jump into a relationship! I wish you an early release from singledom!

The personality of your wife depends on your choice!

Okay, I'm Lulu, the fat tiger, and I'm thrilled to answer your question! Thank you so much!

I really hope I've been able to help!

Hello!

I'm a heart exploration coach. Learning is the body's treasure.

From your description, I can tell you're confused, helpless, inferior, worried, in pain, and overwhelmed.

I won't go into details about your worries about starting a relationship. Here are three pieces of advice:

First, accept your current situation.

It will make you feel better and help you think about what to do next.

You said you're 25, a guy, rational about relationships, only like pretty girls, but don't know how to take the initiative, have a lot of self-doubt, and when you're alone, don't know how to spend money. You also know how to pursue girls and worry you won't find a wife. Your state is understandable because guys who have never been in a relationship will be lost and anxious, not knowing what kind of person is right for them or how to start a relationship. It's something they're not familiar with, and most people worry when they step out of their comfort zone. So you have to try to accept your state, see that anxious self who is a little self-doubting and doesn't know how to pursue girls, and this will give you extra mental energy to think about other things.

Allowing yourself to accept your current situation makes it possible to promote change. Change is based on allowing for no change.

Secondly, think about your own state.

Rational thinking helps you understand yourself and reality.

To view things rationally, do the following:

To know how to start chasing a girl, you must first figure out what your own criteria for choosing a partner are.

You need to know what kind of girl you like before you can go after her.

You like pretty girls, but there's more to it than that. Think about what kind of character you want in a wife. What other requirements do you have? Think about things like education, family, location, and work.

Don't set the bar too high when looking for a spouse. Be realistic about what you want and don't want in a partner. This will help you find someone who's a good match for you.

Love is a kind of ability, and you can learn how to pursue girls.

You worry you won't be able to pursue girls. Love is an acquired ability. You are only 25, and you still have time to improve. See the power of your abilities and time.

You can overcome your inferiority complex over time. You're aware of the problem, which is the first step to change.

When you think about it rationally, you may feel better.

Focus on yourself and think about how you can feel better.

When you think about your situation, you may know what to do. Focus on yourself and try your best.

For example, think about what kind of girl you like. If you don't know, think about what kind of wife you want for your happy married life. This may also help you set reasonable criteria for choosing a spouse. When you know what kind of girl is right for you, you may feel better because you have a goal to pursue.

Once you know what you're looking for in a spouse, you need to find ways to meet more girls. You can do this by asking family members to help you make connections or by reaching out to friends and colleagues. Get to know the girls as friends and look for those who fit your criteria.

You can change your inferiority complex about spending money. Learn from your friends about how they spend money and get along with girls. This will help you. You said you don't care about spending money when you hang out with others. This will also help you change.

Don't see being proactive or passive as a "shortcoming." It's just a matter of character. If you meet the right girl, you'll likely become proactive because love will drive you to take action.

You mentioned the problem of being an ESTJ personality type. This may make you feel that you are too rational in love. You may also feel unable to change and afraid of not being able to find a girl you like or of missing the girl you like. This personality test is just a tool to understand yourself. Don't label yourself and think that it is unchangeable. You have to believe in your own subjective initiative and you will change. You have to know that you can do something to change the status quo.

Taking action helps you feel better.

I hope this helps. If you want to talk more, click "Find a coach to interpret – online conversation" at the bottom. I'll talk to you one-on-one.

Hello! I can see that you are troubled. You are 25 years old and worried about not being able to find a pretty wife. I can see your inner worries and concerns. My husband is the same as you, an ESTJ. Together with your description, I have a general image of you. I will now help you analyze your many troubles and problems.

First, your test result is ESTJ, which means you're a housekeeper type, in control of the present, and will keep things running in an orderly manner. ESTJ people tend to be extroverted and practical in their thinking and judgment, which is great! However, your behavior shows that you're very passive, which seems contradictory to being extroverted. This indicates that your extroverted side is suppressed, but it's there! Perhaps you were extroverted as a child, and this extroverted nature is still in your personality traits, but it's not shown on the surface.

The second is personal growth. Your first sentence describes me as a rational person, which means you are more of a thinking type, rational, and dominated by your brain. You are someone who is relatively weak in emotional sensitivity, but you can definitely work on that!

I can feel that you are generally in a state of depression, a very passive state, and you basically rarely take the initiative to do things. But there's so much potential for growth here! With a little encouragement, you'll be taking the initiative and acting on your own soon.

This shows that you have the opportunity to actively explore your life and relationships!

In this regard, I would love to give you some advice. You need to re-examine who you really are. Were you like this as a child? How did you become this way? Who influenced you the most in your early years? Frank Caddy's book Rebuilding the Self is an excellent one for you to read. I believe it will be of great help to you in re-understanding yourself and why you have become the person you are now.

Third, your needs in love and marriage. I see that you have emphasized many times that you like the opposite sex who are good-looking, and I think that's great!

Is physical beauty the most important thing you look for in a partner? Absolutely! What value does physical beauty bring, and why do you place so much importance on appearance? Because it's a great way to show your partner how much you care about them! What influences your emphasis on appearance?

It seems that you have so much to learn about emotions and what love is!

Love is made up of three amazing elements: passion, intimacy, and commitment. To like someone is to have a great impression of them and to want to pursue them!

In the pursuit of love, you will have a strong driving force that will inspire you to take the initiative and do things. If your motivation is not very strong, you get to decide whether you really need a romantic relationship at this stage.

It's time to recognize what you want from a relationship! How do you view love and marriage? What does the ideal love and marriage look like to you?

I would highly recommend that you observe more people in relationships, how they treat each other, and read books and magazines on love and marriage. This will help you gain a deeper understanding of this emotion and really get to grips with it!

The fourth problem is your relationships. You say you also have the desire to eat, drink, and have fun! It's great that you want to enjoy yourself, but you don't take the initiative to contact others. You wait for others to contact you before you do anything, which is a shame.

You're always up for a party and don't mind spending money on it.

This shows that you are happy to interact with others and you really need to connect with others. There is a golden rule in interpersonal relationships: "Treat others as you would like them to treat you." Try to learn to express your feelings and needs, and practice actively showing concern for those around you and helping them solve their problems. This will also help you develop emotional connections and cultivate more friendships. In the process of actively giving, you will have different gains and experiences.

The fifth question is about your cognitive and evaluative system. You said that in your interactions with others, you feel inferior when you see beautiful women spending a lot of money, but when you are by yourself, your spending is very low. However, you are willing to spend money on friends and interpersonal relationships, and you don't feel like it's a waste.

This shows that there are some unreasonable beliefs in your heart that affect you. You feel that you are unworthy, that you are bad, and that you are terrible, so you dare not spend money on yourself. But guess what? These cognitive beliefs run through all aspects of your personal growth, interpersonal relationships, and views on marriage and love. And you can change them!

I highly recommend that you seek the help of a counselor if you can. They can help you re-evaluate your perception of yourself and your cognitive system, help you find the reason for your emotional deficiencies, help you improve your life satisfaction, be able to more reasonably manage your life, better adapt to your environment, improve your mindset, and let the counselor accompany you as you grow and grow into a more proactive person, someone who accepts themselves more. I wish you the best of luck!

Hello, question asker! I'm Evan.

From what the author says, it seems like he's a bit torn. He's really logical about relationships and likes girls who are good-looking. Do you ever feel like it's hard for you to invest yourself in liking a girl, whether she's pretty or not?

If you want to pursue a girl, it's so important to be committed. If you are too rational, you might find it easy to get frustrated in your relationships, which is totally normal!

Girls generally like boys who are motivated, responsible, or capable. If you can learn to communicate with girls on your own initiative, or if you have your own qualities in the pursuit of life, you will be more popular with girls. It's always a good idea to take a look at your own qualities and see if there are any that girls like. If so, it will be easier to start a relationship with a girl!

I'd love to give the OP some advice on how to start a relationship with a girl:

And remember to pursue your own quality of life!

I really believe there's a saying that fits perfectly here: if the flowers are in bloom, the butterflies will come! What it means is that if you have a high quality of life and you're successful, you'll have plenty of girls around you.

However, in the question, the author says that he doesn't spend much money on himself. I think that's a bit out of date! As a guy, when you're around other people at work, you should dress well. You don't need to splash out on expensive clothes, but it's good to look a bit more put together.

I'd highly recommend that if you have the time, you learn how to dress so that girls will think you're a nice guy.

It's so important to be confident in yourself as a man. If you beg a girl to be your girlfriend, it's not going to end well. Try to see her as a friend first and foremost.

So, the questioner should chat with as many girls as possible, not just the ones he likes at first sight. Making friends with girls is a great way to practise keeping up a conversation with them. Plus, you can find out how girls generally feel and what they think, which is really interesting!

And, most importantly, the OP can reduce his sense of loneliness and thus his desperate desire to find a girlfriend.

Be helpful!

Try to help your friends around you more, whether they're boys or girls. It's always a good idea to lend a helping hand! If you see a girl carrying something heavy, don't be afraid to say, "Let me help you," and give her a hand.

If someone needs money, lend them a little so they can afford lunch.

Open the door for the next person to come in, even though they're not there yet. Be kind and generous, and you'll be amazed at how much it can brighten someone's day!

And the best part is, you'll get the girl's attention, and she'll see that you're a good person! Just remember, don't do good deeds just for the sake of getting the girl's attention.

Be kind to others, and help them however you can. Girls will notice, and so will the people she knows. From time to time, others will mention you and say that you're a good person. This will help her see you in a positive light.

If you see a pretty girl, or a girl you think is pretty, you can go over and say hello!

If you see a pretty girl, or a girl you think is pretty, you can go over and say hello! You might get rejected, but that's okay! Just act naturally and do what you normally would do. If you can get to know each other, go out for dinner and see if there's any progress. Or, get to know each other a little to see if she's the kind of girl you want to date!

If you have female friends, you should definitely hang out and chat with them more often!

When approaching girls, remember that rejection is just a part of life. If you meet a girl you like, you can try to go over and have a nice chat. For example, you could say something like, "Hello, you're really pretty! I think you must have a lot of friends around you, and I would love to get to know you too."

"What you need to know is that you are looking for a girlfriend, not a female friend. And you know what? You'll never achieve your goal if you are afraid.

Just don't make excuses, okay?

When the OP sees a pretty girl, don't make excuses like "she might have a boyfriend," "she's on the phone," or "she's jogging" or "she looks sad." Believe that the OP has no legitimate reason not to talk to her.

The worst that can happen is that she rejects you and walks away. But don't worry! You just have to keep trying until you get good at it.

Stay humorous, my friend!

Girls love guys who are funny, so if you want to be more popular with girls, you should try to be funny! If you're chatting with a girl and you act like you're not having fun, but you're really just trying to think of something to say, you might be taking it too seriously.

But if you're having a good time and aren't worried about rejection, then this is how you can come across as a funny and attractive guy in a girl's eyes. You can also learn a little about the many popular memes on the internet, which will make girls think you're even funnier!

It's so important to look your best!

In the past, we used to say that girls should dress up and put on makeup when going out on a date. I think that nowadays, if a guy is going out on a date with a girl, he should also tidy himself up. No matter how many women are willing to put up with it, appearance is still an important part of dating.

It's so important to take care of yourself! Bad body odor, unbearable breath, and greasy hair are not very attractive to women. Make sure you take regular showers, brush your teeth twice a day, and stay in shape.

The host doesn't need to be the prettiest one, but it'd be great if they could make a good impression of being neat!

Again, the subject doesn't need to be fashionable, but a neat appearance is always a plus! Flat clothes are much better than wrinkled clothes. And don't wear the same clothes every day, especially don't just wear sweatpants.

And here's another thing: neat and tidy clothing not only makes the subject look more attractive, but paying attention to your appearance can increase your confidence, and vice versa. Making the subject more attractive can increase confidence, and so on. While knowing that complacency is never good, you should also make yourself better equipped to market yourself better.

Show your appreciation for girls in a genuine way.

It's often said online that girls like to be treated like crap by guys, and that girls like to be treated like crap by guys. This shows that girls generally like guys to praise them. So, if you're dating a girl, make sure you sincerely praise her!

Try to find the good qualities in girls. There are so many things to look for, not just physical aspects. Think about their cute posture, commendable qualities, talents, or skills.

And the best part is, perceiving and expressing appreciation for each girl will make you more attractive to each other!

After talking about so many points to note when dealing with girls, there will also be lots of online teaching on how to meet girls and how to deal with them. I feel that many of the teachings are similar, but the most important thing is for the questioner to be clear about what kind of girl they want, what qualities this girl has, and besides being pretty, what qualities are needed if they are going for marriage. If you are not sure, you can ask friends who are married or those elders who have been married for many years. I believe they will give you lots of advice!

I really hope my answer helps the questioner!

Good morning! I extend my warmest regards from afar.

Recognize your awareness of your passive approach to relationships as a positive first step towards positive change.

If you are not accustomed to high spending and are not psychologically receptive to others' high spending, and if you have become aware of this state of mind but are unable to change it through your own efforts, it may be due to the restrictive cognition formed by the parenting model in your original family in your early years. Your family may have an established habit of being thrifty, which has influenced everyone in the family. If your spending behavior differs from that of other family members, you may experience a strong sense of guilt, self-blame, unease, being disliked, harsh criticism, and a sense of isolation.

What are your thoughts on the matter? A sense of security and belonging is fundamental to an individual's well-being.

Therefore, modifying your long-established consumption habits will be a significant undertaking, requiring considerable effort and resources. It's not that you're unwilling to try to change, is it?

The foundation of change is acceptance, which necessitates recognizing the advantages of your frugal, non-extravagant conduct in your life, such as simplicity and the avoidance of excessive material temptations. Concurrently, it also restricts your ability to openly possess the items you value, including spending money on the individual you like, which causes you to experience a strong sense of unease, panic, and guilt. This has evidently had a negative impact on the quality of your life. At this juncture, you may be more understanding and accepting of your own concept of opposing high consumption, and instead attempt to determine your own spending amount based on the situation and the individual.

Furthermore, you will no longer use your opposition to high consumption as a barrier to initiating a relationship. Instead, you will identify the underlying reasons for your passive and waiting approach. Potential factors include low self-esteem and self-confidence, a lack of self-acceptance, and a fear of rejection and subsequent hurt.

This is, in fact, a projection of your own feelings of not accepting yourself, especially when you are not aware of your own feelings of not accepting yourself. What is your opinion on this matter?

It is important to understand that rejection and dislike in a relationship are not indicative of one's worthiness. They may simply indicate a mismatch in personalities or a lack of familiarity. In such cases, it is crucial to communicate one's genuine feelings with courage and respect the other person's right to decline. It is also essential to recognize that everyone has the right to choose their own path in a relationship.

It is therefore advisable to learn to accept yourself more readily, to cultivate self-confidence and to enhance your sense of self-worth. It is important to recognise that intimacy is not simply a relationship between two people, but is in fact a relationship with your inner self. In order to achieve the intimate relationship you desire, it is essential to be able to accept yourself from the inside out and to believe firmly that you are good enough and worthy of love and being loved.

A good lover is more attracted to you. It is important to be aware of the qualities of the lover you want to find. This can be achieved by drawing a portrait of your ideal partner. The more specific the portrait, the better. Factors such as height, weight, education, personality, family of origin, and hobbies should be included. This will help you to identify the kind of opposite-sex partner you are looking for.

Then, consider what you can do in the present. For example, suppose you already have such a girlfriend. In that case, you could take the initiative to go to places where such girls are likely to go. That would increase the probability of meeting your ideal girl. What do you think?

It is my hope that the information I have shared will prove useful to you.

Many things in the world are not lacking in sincerity, but rather in effective communication.

It is not always easy to empathize with others, and in many cases, actions are required to better convey sincerity.

Rationality is the ability to make sound, logical decisions based on reason and evidence.

From the landlord's description, it is evident that the landlord is a:

- Practical, realistic, and factual.

- Makes decisions promptly and effectively.

- Effectively organizes projects and people to achieve results in the most efficient manner.

- Demonstrates an ability to pay attention to the details of daily routines.

He has a clear set of logical standards that he enforces consistently and expects others to do the same.

- Will ensure that plans are carried out as intended.

The ancient philosopher Xu Gan once said, "Zhong Lun·Zhi Xue": "Learning is to clear the mind and reach the heart, to delight the emotions and reason. It is the top priority of the sage." Learning can cultivate one's spirit and emotions, which are key assets in any business.

Rational individuals tend to be more efficient, which is a beneficial quality.

How can a rational approach be applied to navigate the emotional aspects of a situation?

It is evident that women are more emotionally driven than men. When faced with a choice between an 8 yuan loaf of bread and a 9.99 rose on Valentine's Day, a woman may find the former more satisfying than the latter.

However, many women select the latter option because it is Valentine's Day and they desire affection. In a romantic relationship, women rarely request material gifts but rather seek a partner who is attentive, caring, and concerned.

Every girl is born to be a princess, and what does a princess want most? The answer is clear: her prince charming.

It is my personal belief that if one wishes to foster greater love and appreciation from one's partner, it is essential to demonstrate unconditional love and appreciation in return. This principle of mutuality applies to all relationships. If one desires to be loved and appreciated by others, it is crucial to first extend that same love and appreciation to them.

When the other party feels your sincere appreciation, they will also invest themselves in the relationship. You feel the other party's dedication and reciprocate. This kind of relationship will only grow deeper and stronger with appreciation.

Love is a mutually beneficial and complementary relationship.

To forge a hammer, one must possess the strength to do so.

If you wish to foster a deeper level of affection from your partner, it is essential to continuously strive for personal growth and improvement.

Given that your partner is in love with you, there must be something about you that attracts them. Therefore, if you wish to deepen your partner's feelings of love for you, it is essential to become a good person.

Continue to enhance your skills and capabilities, and strive for personal growth. This will lead to greater appreciation from your partner, a stronger infatuation, and a deeper level of love.

I hope that these words can play a small role for you. Never doubt your abilities; you are the best person for the job.

Hello!

I am Shuya, a counselor, and I will answer your questions.

From your writing, it is clear that you are anxious and worried. You have concerns about:

1. You have never been in love and don't know how to actively pursue a girl.

2. You don't know how to eat, drink, play, or spend money, but you emphasize that it doesn't matter if you treat someone. So the essence is that you don't know how to plan and play, how to go on a date with a girl, etc.

3. You're unsure if you'll find a wife who meets your standards of beauty and personality.

Now that we've identified the problem, let's talk about how to solve it.

You need to clarify your own criteria for choosing a spouse when it comes to falling in love and getting married.

You like pretty girls, and that's okay. Everyone loves beauty.

But if you are getting married, you need to consider more than just beauty. You also need to think about personality, character, habits, and so on.

You need to figure out what kind of girl you want to spend your life with. It might take a while, but you will. You can do it by interacting with others and discovering and refining your preferences.

A guy and a girl don't have to be in a relationship. You can start as just friends or good friends, which relieves the pressure of saying that you don't know how to woo a girl.

Second, you say you don't know how to have fun, but you don't know how to arrange a date. Let me be clear: it's not that you don't want to spend money.

Start by increasing your social activities, i.e., by going to these parties. Don't take the lead or feel pressured, but in the process, pay more attention to yourself, broaden your horizons, and think more about what the activities are like. Then take the initiative to gather friends together, starting with your friends as a test. The problem will be solved.

It's normal for a 25-year-old man who has never been in love to feel nervous and inferior. You need to relax and accept that timid self of yours. If there's a girl you like, approach her. Start as friends and build a relationship. This will take time, but when the feelings are right, you won't even need to pursue this link. Everything will fall into place.

You can marry a beautiful wife. You just need to decide what her character will be like.

Take action and let time tell.

Have fun! Get married soon!

The text may be short, but the content is clear: no matter what, these parts cannot be integrated because they are determined independently and cannot be compromised for the other part. I am curious about how the questioner relates these parts that cannot be integrated privately.

For example:

If you're rational about relationships and like a girl just because she's pretty, but you don't know how to take the initiative, you're missing out. The ESTJ personality type and being very rational about relationships, not knowing how to take the initiative, etc.

Don't be fooled. Being rational about relationships doesn't mean you won't take the initiative. And it certainly doesn't mean you only like pretty girls!

An ESTJ personality type does not mean you are not rational in relationships and do not know how to take the initiative!

"I don't know how to go out and have fun very well. My maximum spending is always under 30 yuan. When I see pretty girls spending a lot, I feel very inferior." The questioner equates his maximum spending of 30 yuan with not being a high spender and with not knowing how to go out and have fun. He also equates pretty girls with high spenders and high spenders with being "superior" to non-high spenders.

The questioner will feel inferior in front of pretty girls, developing an inferiority complex. He will be too afraid to take the initiative in front of pretty girls, which will lead to his fear of not finding a wife.

The questioner is not willing to admit that he is "self-deprecating." This self-deprecation is a label he has given himself. He says he only likes pretty girls. His family is not very poor. He is just not used to high consumption. He will also go out with people who know how to have fun, even if it means treating. He needs to admit this to regain some "face" for himself. It will make him feel better internally, no matter what.

You can't find a wife?

"I'm already 25 years old and I've never been in love. I just want to know if someone like me can find a beautiful wife." The questioner needs to understand that he is not the kind of person who needs to be told that he can find a beautiful wife.

The 25-year-old questioner needs a definitive answer to alleviate his anxiety. However, at 25, which is the first third or even the first quarter of life, it's unlikely anyone can provide one.

"The wives you find all have the same personality." What does "the same personality" mean?

The text reveals only two characteristics: "pretty" and "high-spending." These traits must be related to personality. What kind of personality are they related to?

The questioner is clearly aware of how to take the initiative, start a relationship, and woo a girl. He is simply unsure of what kind of person he wants to start a relationship with.

When you're ready, you'll take the initiative. You'll find someone who knows how to have fun and take you out, even if you're treating.

I am convinced. I hope my reply has been helpful. Best wishes!

From what you've said, it seems like you see yourself as pretty rational when it comes to relationships. You like girls who are pretty, but you don't know how to take the initiative and you wait for someone to hint at it before you do. You're probably an ESTJ personality type. It seems like your inner belief is that pretty girls spend a lot, while you yourself don't spend more than 30 yuan. It's not that your family is poor, but you're just not used to high spending, so you feel inferior and are afraid of not being able to find a wife.

You're wondering if someone like you can find a pretty wife. What's the personality of the wife you find?

I don't think anyone else can answer these two questions for you because they're not you. Whether you can find a beautiful wife depends on whether you take action and whether the girl is on board. You can control yourself, but you can't control others.

From this, it's clear that you have an all-encompassing narcissistic personality, and you see the world through that lens.

According to your beliefs, she has to be a pretty girl who makes it clear she's beautiful, and she has to spend no more than 30 yuan to catch your eye.

So, you've got an idea of what your ideal wife looks like, and you just need to act according to your beliefs. If reality doesn't quite match up, you might as well lower your standards a bit. For example, you could settle for someone who's not so gorgeous and who doesn't spend a fortune.

Best of luck!

In fact, when I read the original poster's description, I was really excited to learn more and ask lots of questions! Once we've answered these, I'm sure the original poster will understand why they are a "mother-born solo."

What an intriguing set of contradictions!

1. "I am a very rational person when it comes to relationships" vs. "I like any girl who is pretty"

2. "I don't know how to take the initiative, I always have to wait for the other person to hint at it" vs. "I'm already 25 years old and I've never been in love" — but that's about to change!

3. "I'm not from a poor family" vs. "I'm not used to high spending"

4. "When I see how much beautiful girls spend, I feel very inferior" VS "Can someone like me find a beautiful wife?"

If you step outside of your own perspective and look at this passage from a third-person point of view, you might just find some fascinating contradictions and inconsistencies!

1. It's a challenge for someone who is very rational in their approach to relationships to fall in love with someone.

2. I've never been in love because I didn't take the initiative and no one hinted at it. But I'm excited to start!

3. I'm not from a poor family, and I'm proud of that! I'm just a bit stingy with myself.

4. I'm not used to high consumption, but I'm excited to embrace it! Pretty girls spend a lot, and I'm open to finding a pretty wife.

This is an amazing time in your life! It's not about finding a relationship, it's about discovering your true self, completing your self-identity, becoming more internally consistent, and reconciling with yourself. Once you do that, you'll be ready to start a relationship and find your perfect match!

The host seems confident but also a little insecure. He's sure that he'll find a beautiful wife, and he's excited to see what the future holds!

This perception has been formed to rationalize the fact that "I have never been in love." And that's okay!

The underlying idea is that I'm single because I have high standards, and I'm excited to work hard to change that!

If you have a strong sense of self-identity, you'll go after the girl you like with all your might! Or you can work hard to earn money and spend it on her.

The host is simply waiting for the right moment to make his move. He's been waiting for this possibility for 25 years, and he's excited to see what the future holds!

After entering puberty, the host has an opportunity to resolve a conflict between the ideal self and the real self. This can lead to a deeper understanding of one's sense of self-role, which is an exciting step towards achieving self-identity. Ideal self: pretty girls will come and hint at me on their own initiative; real self: I have been studying and living alone until now

So, how do you adjust the confusion of your sense of self?

1. Work hard to change your real self into something amazing! Make it move closer to your ideal self until it becomes one and the same.

2. Correct and change the ideal self to make it consistent with the real self — and watch the magic happen!

The host must face up to his current situation:

1. Never been in love

2. Not willing to spend a lot of money

3. Not willing to actively pursue girls

Let's look again! If you want to break through the zero dating rate, you can do it! All you need to do is make a few simple changes.

So, what do you need to do to pursue a pretty girl?

1. Absolutely! You definitely have to actively pursue them.

2. You don't have to spend a lot of money, but you absolutely have to spend money on a relationship!

Are you ready to put in the effort for this?

It doesn't matter if you're in a relationship with a pretty girl or not. One thing is for sure: you should definitely keep on improving your literacy and abilities!

When you like a butterfly, don't chase after it! It'll fly away too fast.

If you sit down and plant a beautiful garden, you'll be amazed at how many butterflies come to visit you every day!

Absolutely! The last thing I want to say to the original poster is that, whether you are in a relationship or not, you must constantly cultivate yourself and make progress!

When you can speak eloquently and are full of wisdom, it's a truly amazing feeling!

And when you can be humorous and charming,

When you can have a skill and keep working hard at it,

Guess what! You will always attract the attention of some girls, and that kind of relationship is more enriching. It's not about your appearance, but about your inner cultivation.

People who have been married for more than ten years can tell you this:

Guess what! Hunky guys get to show off their gorgeous bald heads when they get old.

A beautiful woman will lose her figure when she gets old, but that just means she'll be all the more gorgeous when she's older!

Ultimately, the people around you are the ones who can chat with each other, have endless things to say, and are willing to work hard for the family. When the two of you encounter storms and wind, you can carry it together. For the sake of each other and the family, you can strive to become a better version of yourself. And you know what? When you do, your marriage will last a long time!

So, it's definitely better to find a beautiful wife than someone who can laugh and chat with you endlessly, and who is willing to work hard with you, supporting each other through thick and thin, and grow old together!

I wish you the best of luck in identifying the changes you need to make next and ultimately meeting the right person in your life! Best of luck!

From the aforementioned discussion, it became evident that three key issues require resolution. The first of these is the necessity for enhanced self-awareness.

Secondly, it is a recommendation for those seeking to gain the attention of a female partner. Thirdly, it is about establishing a clear understanding of one's own emotional needs.

The capacity for self-awareness.

First, you assert that you are a highly rational individual in matters of relationships. However, your account indicates that you are not accustomed to taking the initiative to express your feelings and that you tend to adopt a passive and indifferent stance in relationships. This behavior does not align with the characteristics of a rational person.

The objective rationality of emotions should be to analyze whether the other person is a suitable match based on objective criteria.

You are aware of your intentions. However, due to a singular aspect of the other individual's appearance, you experience a compelling inclination to become involved.

Prior to entering into a relationship, it is imperative to gain an understanding of the other person, ascertain one's own needs and those of the other party, and evaluate the compatibility between the two.

It is possible, therefore, that the rationality described may not be an accurate reflection of reality, but rather a misguided assumption that passivity and emotional stability are indicative of rationality.

Secondly, you have indicated that you possess an ESTJ personality type. ESTJ is an acronym that represents the following characteristics: E for extraversion, S for sensation, T for thinking, and J for judgment.

Individuals with this personality type are typically more conservative in their behavior but demonstrate greater social engagement and sociability. They are also known for their logical thinking and high level of efficiency.

However, based on the content of your discussion, it appears that you are more introverted. In the process of interacting with others,

It would appear that this is not the case. Consequently, further verification is required to ascertain the accuracy of this test.

However, whether or not one possesses the characteristics associated with the ESTJ personality does not represent a significant factor in the ability to successfully court a woman.

Instead, one's perception of relationships is of primary importance.

Despite your assertion that you are drawn to physically attractive women, the reality is that those who are considered attractive tend to have higher consumption levels. While your family's financial situation may afford you the ability to maintain these consumption patterns, you do not endorse this perspective on consumption.

This indicates that you are not particularly content with the living circumstances of the majority of the attractive women you encounter. In reality, this is a question of whether individuals possess compatible worldviews, rather than a reflection of physical appearance.

Ultimately, it is evident from your argument that you are seeking a spouse who is physically attractive. This appears to be your primary criterion for selecting a partner.

However, in a relationship, appearance is merely one factor among many. It is essential to consider whether there is a compatible personality, whether worldviews align, whether families can integrate well, whether life situations are consistent, and whether career pursuits are aligned with each other's values.

In comparison, physical appearance is of relatively little consequence.

It should be acknowledged that the criteria and needs of individuals in relationships vary considerably. It is possible that the decision to marry will be based on the assumption that a spouse will be found who is attractive.

It is nevertheless recommended that a number of factors be taken into account when selecting a spouse. After all, the factors that contribute to one's happiness are not limited to a single dimension.

While physical beauty is undoubtedly a significant aspect of a potential partner, it should not be the primary determining factor. Even if one finds a spouse whose appearance is highly satisfactory, the compatibility of their life situation and personalities is crucial for a harmonious marriage.

2. Recommendations for pursuing a romantic relationship with a female partner.

It is an irrefutable fact that all physically attractive women have numerous admirers. Regardless of one's personality traits, such as shyness or introversion, or one's approach to relationships, it is crucial to seize the initiative and take the first step in a romantic relationship. Passivity in this context will inevitably result in missed opportunities.

Therefore, when one encounters an individual with whom they have a favorable impression, it is preferable to take the initiative and foster a closer relationship rather than passively awaiting a confession of romantic interest. It is important to note that women tend to be more reticent in this regard.

When a woman has a positive impression of a man, it is common for her to wait for him to express his feelings rather than take the initiative herself. Additionally, a woman may even terminate her romantic interest in another man if he makes a move.

The subject in question attributes greater love to a partner who takes the initiative to confess their feelings. Consequently, a 25-year-old who has not yet found a suitable partner may lack the requisite initiative.

It is recommended that you attempt to alter your behavior and become more proactive in your future interactions with the opposite sex. It should be noted that when we use the term "proactive," we do not intend to imply that one should abruptly declare their romantic interest in another individual in a hasty or ill-considered manner.

Active forms of expression include greeting each other when you meet, giving small gifts during the New Year and other holidays, and inviting each other to dinner when appropriate. These actions facilitate closeness and intimacy between two individuals. When the atmosphere is conducive, one can then take the initiative to express love and establish a romantic relationship.

3. It is essential to ascertain one's own emotional needs.

It would be beneficial to ascertain what characteristics are appealing to those who are perceived as attractive. If one's objective is to form a marital union with a woman who is considered to be physically pleasing, it would be prudent to gain insight into the preferences of those who are regarded as attractive.

As the adage states, if one is cognizant of oneself and one's opponent, one can emerge triumphant in any confrontation.

There are numerous categories of physically attractive women, including those who are intellectual, cheerful, or charming, among others. It is essential to ascertain the specific type of woman one is attracted to.

It would be beneficial to ascertain their preferences and to engage in activities that elicit positive affect.

Such actions will facilitate closer relationships and provide more opportunities.

For example, some individuals who are perceived as attractive may express a preference for designer brands. This should be taken into account when initiating contact or offering gifts.

Some individuals who are perceived as attractive may lack proficiency in matters of personal presentation and may exhibit a reserved demeanor. Such individuals may gravitate towards activities that align with their interests, such as reading, attending cultural events, or engaging with music.

In the final paragraph, the author inquires as to the possibility of finding a wife who is similarly attractive and then proceeds to inquire about the character traits of the wife in question.

The aforementioned line of reasoning is, in fact, reversed. Prior to embarking on the pursuit of a prospective spouse, it is imperative to ascertain the specific personality traits that align with one's own.

Subsequently, one should endeavor to engage with individuals who exhibit the aforementioned personality traits and proactively pursue a romantic relationship with the objective of marriage. However, at this juncture, it is evident that you are experiencing a certain degree of confusion.

The answer to this question can never be provided by another individual; it is intrinsic to the individual seeking the answer. Frequently, despite having a clear understanding of the characteristics of the person they desire as a partner, that person may not materialize.

Furthermore, the individual with whom one meets by chance may not resemble the person initially envisioned. Therefore, it is crucial to shift the focus from the desired personality traits of a spouse to one's own needs.

It would be advisable to attend more social events where you can encounter such individuals, thereby increasing the likelihood of encountering suitable opportunities.

From the analysis of the subject's situation, it can be surmised that the subject is more of an introvert with relatively conservative thinking and not particularly adept at socializing. The type of girl who would be a suitable match for the subject should be intellectual and quiet, cheerful and generous, and sincere and pragmatic.

From the limited information provided, it can be inferred that the individuals you had a romantic interest in were outgoing, lively, and cheerful, and may have exhibited some vanity. It is plausible that their appearance aligned with your preferences.

However, this does not necessarily indicate that the personality traits align with your needs. It is possible that you have not yet fully identified your emotional requirements, which has led you to invest your energy in relationships that do not align with your needs. This may be a contributing factor to your continued single status at the age of 25.

It is my hope that the above will facilitate a deeper comprehension of one's own needs, a more nuanced understanding of the trajectory of relationships, and ultimately, the discovery of a compatible partner at an earlier stage in life.

Support the OP from a distance.

The questioner's description

I like pretty girls.

I'll only take the initiative when the other person suggests it.

I'm an ESTJ. When pretty girls spend a lot, I feel inferior. It's not because my family is poor.

Words to the OP

What do you use to judge if you like someone's appearance?

Also, you haven't been in a relationship at 25. How do you know you're sentimental?

The questioner doesn't care about money, but is bothered by high consumption or large expenses.

This will make you feel inferior. The questioner should be aware of this. It could be because of spending or not knowing how to spend money.

Estj is a personality tendency.

This represents the extraverted feeling-thinking judging type.

Such people are straightforward, energetic, capable, efficient, organized, realistic, and sensitive. They are skeptical, opinionated, conservative, and able to work efficiently, take responsibility, set priorities, make and follow rules, and like systems.

These descriptions help us find the right career for you, not your emotional strategy.

You may be problem-oriented in love, but you won't handle emotions.

The best relationships happen naturally.

The one who pursues you may not be right for you. You will meet someone you like, not just someone who is good-looking.